


Guilty Pleasure Friends

by Rubyleaf



Category: Servamp
Genre: Boarding School AU, Class Rep Mahiru, Delinquent Kuro, High School AU, JekyllandHyde are pretty much the same as in canon, Lots of school shenanigans probably, M/M, Sakuya is the ultimate snarker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 348,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubyleaf/pseuds/Rubyleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Mahiru wanted was to make an infamous delinquent stop skipping class. Getting dragged headfirst into a gang war and making a bunch of very weird friends was never part of the plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Empty Seat Next to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Mahiru didn't know what he had expected to find or not find in his room, but this definitely wasn't it.

The hallway was buzzing with voices. Everyone from freshmen to seniors was talking at the same time, greeting friends, exchanging news, asking for directions. Dozens of students from every grade were crowding in front of a list, searching for their names in it.  
  
"Look, there's my name too! Ryuusei, Koyuki, Sakuya, we're all in the same class!"  
  
"I can't believe I'm in the same class as you _again_ , Watanuki!"  
  
"Hey, Angel-chan! Looks like you'll have to bear with me for another year!"  
  
"Tsubakyun, look, look! We're not in the same class anymoooore! We've been separated!"  
  
"My, my, what a lively scene..."  
  
Mahiru went through the list again. He took pride in knowing pretty much every student at the school, or at least he knew everyone's name and face, which was already impressive enough in itself. Every name on the list rang a bell and made a face appear in his head, along with one or two details he had observed about them during the past year.  
  
He stopped when it came to the last name listed in class 2-B, blinked, frowned, and stared at it for a moment.  
  
Sakuya peeked over his shoulder, trying to figure out what he was staring at. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Weird." Mahiru shook his head slightly, still staring at the list as if he was waiting for a sudden epiphany. "There's one name I've never heard before."  
  
\---  
  
"...Alicein?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Watanuki?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Shirota?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Kuro?"  
  
No answer.  
  
The teacher sighed, adjusted her glasses, and asked again, louder this time. "Is Kuro here?"  
  
A confused murmur arose as everyone in the class started to whisper at the same time. Mahiru tried to listen and made out the words "scary", "delinquent" and "skipping". And, over and over, the same thing: "Glad he's not here."  
  
His eyes strayed to the only empty seat in the entire classroom, the one that was probably supposed to belong to Kuro. It was the seat right next to him.  
  
So the student whose face Mahiru didn't know was supposed to be seated next to him, and he was missing.  
  
Mahiru felt curiosity sneaking up his spine, tugging at him to go and solve the mystery. Here was someone he didn't know, mysteriously not showing up to class. Was it a transfer student? Someone who had been sick a lot during the past year? Mahiru had no idea, but he knew that he would find out. The sooner the better.  
  
Class dragged on and on, and just this once he was not happy when the teacher approached him once it was over. "Shirota-kun?"  
  
"Yes?" Damn, he probably shouldn't have volunteered to be the class representative just because nobody else wanted to do the job. Maybe if he had kept quiet, the teacher would have let him leave with the others. "Can I help you?"  
  
"Well, Shirota-kun," the teacher adjusted her glasses again, "since you're the class representative and head of the disciplinary committee, I thought maybe you're the right person to handle this case. You see, I have a favor to ask."  
  
The elderly lady's expression darkened with worry as he continued, "It's about the student who was absent today."  
  
Mahiru's breath caught in his throat. All his attention snapped to the conversation and held onto it for dear life as he whispered, "Kuro."  
  
"Yes. He's... a problematic one. Got into a fight right after the entrance ceremony last year and ended up suspended for a week, but he's barely attended classes ever since. Sometimes he shows up after lunch break but leaves after an hour, but most of the time he disappears to who knows where and avoids everyone who tries to reason with him. Most teachers have given up on him, but I think there's still hope. Maybe if you, a student his age, tried to talk to him...?"  
  
Mahiru nodded quickly. "I'll do it."  
  
"Fantastic!" The teacher hurried to her desk and came back with a notepad, scribbling something down. "I'll just give you his room number, in case he ever actually is there."  
  
Mahiru took the note, thanked her and hurried out of the classroom into the hallway, where his friends were waiting.  
  
Seeing their questioning looks, he smiled. "I've got a mission."  
  
Oh, how he couldn't wait for the school day to be over.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru had never been so happy that a class was canceled. The day had dragged on long enough, and for some time he had considered looking for the mysterious student during lunch break, but his friends and his growling stomach had convinced him otherwise. Now he would simply drop his things off in his room, and then he'd go looking for Kuro.  
  
As soon as he caught sight of his door, he knew something was amiss.  
  
His key... had he really forgotten his key in the keyhole this morning?  
  
He started to run as he frantically searched all his pockets, hoping there was some kind of mistake or he was imagining things, but he wasn't. The key, which was supposed to be safe in his pocket, was stuck on the door, allowing anyone who happened to be around to enter.  
  
 _Had_ someone entered?  
  
 _Calm down,_ he told himself, _calm down. Don't panic._ Who could possibly have entered his room while he had been in class? All the students had been at school, just like he had, and none of the teachers ever went here. The only ones who could have been here while he had been away were the cleaning staff, and they usually left the rooms alone, even if people forgot to lock the doors.  
  
Besides, it wasn't like there was anything valuable in there.  
  
Still, he rushed to the door, snatched the key and threw it open like he was trying to run from a fire.  
  
Mahiru didn't know what he had expected to find or not find in his room, but this definitely wasn't it.  
  
The room was dark. All the curtains were closed; the only light came from the laptop computer on his desk - a laptop computer that most definitely wasn't his. Some YouTube video was playing on it, filling the room with quiet voices whose words Mahiru couldn't quite make out. Empty bags of potato chips, ramen cups and candy wrappers lay spread all over the place. There were crumbs everywhere.  
  
Sitting in the middle of this unusual scene, staring at Mahiru like a deer in the headlights, was a boy.  
  
He was about the same age as Mahiru, tall, a bit lanky, curled up in a fur-lined jacket even though the room was warm. His hair was blue and looked like it was in need of a haircut, and his skin was pale except for the dark bags under his eyes. A pair of heavy-lidded red eyes met with Mahiru's brown ones as the boy gave an exasperated sigh. "Man... This is about to get really exhausting."  
  
One by one, the gears in Mahiru's brain started turning.  
  
There was a stranger in his room, and he had made a complete mess.  
  
Without hesitation, he flung his bag into the corner, snatched the broom from the closet and lunged at the stranger. "Who the hell are you?" he yelled. "What are you doing in my room?"  
  
The stranger dodged his attack with ease, blocked another one, jumped out of reach of the third and tried to make for the door, but Mahiru was faster. He dropped the broom and grabbed the hood of the stranger's jacket, yanking him back. "Hold it right there! You're not going anywhere until you've answered my questions. Who are you?"  
  
The other boy sighed again and turned around. "I'm just your friendly neighborhood truant. Please don't hurt me."  
  
Mahiru's frown deepened. "Did you just say truant? You're... skipping class?"  
  
"That's what I just said," the boy deadpanned.  
  
"Hold on." A thought popped up in Mahiru's head, and others followed faster and faster, like a handful of loose stones that turned into a landslide. "Are you from our school? What year are you in?"  
  
"Second."  
  
"Don't tell me... your name is... _Kuro?!_ "  
  
The boy slightly flinched, but his expression remained deadpan as ever. "Ah, you know my name."  
  
"Yes, I do!" Mahiru's voice grew louder as he started to speak faster and faster. "Our teacher asked me to talk to you because you've been skipping way too much! What the hell are you doing, not going to class? You better have a very good excuse!"  
  
Kuro shifted slightly in a feeble attempt to escape Mahiru's iron grasp. "School's a pain," he mumbled. "You have to get up early and do all this work and talk to people and stuff and it's really exhausting. I don't wanna go."  
  
"That's not an excuse!" Mahiru grabbed him and shook him. "Hey, don't try to get away! And that still doesn't answer the question how you ended up in _my_ room!"  
  
"Don't shake me... Geez, you're so violent..."  
  
Mahiru chose to ignore the last remark. "Answer! My! Question!"  
  
Kuro yawned. "I didn't wanna go to class and sometimes they look for me in my room when I'm skipping, so I was looking for some place to hide where they wouldn't find me. And I saw that you'd forgotten your key, so..."  
  
"...so you just opened the door and made yourself at home in somebody else's room." Mahiru honestly didn't know if he should laugh or cry. No matter how he turned the matter in his head, it just became more and more ridiculous. He sighed through gritted teeth and looked at the complete and utter mess behind him.  
  
Well, first things first.  
  
"Fine," he said, trying his hardest to stay calm. "What's been done has been done. But!" He raised his voice again. "You're going to clean up this mess or you're not going anywhere!"  
  
"What a pain..."  
  
" _You're_ the one who's a pain! First you skip class, then you sneak into someone else's room, act like it's yours, throw your trash everywhere, leave crumbs all over the place and now you're trying to make _me_ clean all that up? Keep dreaming!"  
  
Kuro leaned his head against the door and sighed. "Wow... Just listening to you is exhausting. That's a rare gift."  
  
"Listen!" Mahiru went on, his voice growing louder and more impatient. "You're not going anywhere until you've cleaned up the entire place, got it? I'll keep you here all night if I have to!"  
  
A hint of amusement slipped into Kuro's deadpan voice. "So bold."  
  
Mahiru stared at him for a moment before the implication of his words dawned on him. Here he was, pinning the other boy against a door, saying that he'd keep him in his room all night... His face heated up as he raised a hand in a futile attempt to cover up the luminescent blush on his cheeks. "Th-That's not what I meant! I'll just keep you here until you clean up the mess you made, because _I'm_ not doing that! And if you refuse to do it all night, I won't let you leave all night! It's that simple!"  
  
"You can't keep me here past curfew."  
  
"I will keep you here until curfew!" Mahiru shot back, secretly glad that Kuro had dropped the... _other_ topic. "Unless, of course, you hurry up and get rid of all the trash now!"  
  
Kuro gave a sigh that seemed to carry all the sadness in the universe, mumbled "What a pain" and got to work.  
  
He was godawful at it. Kuro kept dropping one item of garbage as soon as he reached for another, overlooked the candy wrappers, simply spread the crumbs more neatly over the place instead of getting rid of them, and was being unhelpful in every possible way. It wasn't even that he was doing it on purpose; he was just genuinely clumsy and inexperienced. Mahiru cringed so much he couldn't bear to look at him for more than two seconds at a time.  
  
Oh well.  
  
"That's not how you do it," he sighed, kneeling down next to Kuro. "Look here. You should stuff the candy wrappers into one of the ramen cups... and then stack them all into each other... like this. That's way more effective... see?"  
  
Kuro tried Mahiru's method. "It works," he remarked, and just for a split second his eyes seemed to shine with something akin to happiness.  
  
"And now you're helping me," he added almost smugly.  
  
The bit of sympathy Mahiru had just begun to feel for the strange new boy vanished in an instant. "Only because I don't want you creating an even bigger mess in this room! Now hurry up and finish cleaning already!"  
  
In the end Mahiru still had to help, and he did, all the while complaining and scolding Kuro, who watched him with mild interest. "Why didn't you just help me in the first place?"  
  
"Why should I? You're the one who trashed my room!" Mahiru snapped. "You should be grateful I'm helping you, and I'm only doing this because I don't want my room to be a mess and you suck at cleaning!" He finished up and turned to face Kuro. "Actually, you should be glad I didn't report you for trespassing!"  
  
"You sure are making a huge deal outta this," Kuro sighed. "What a pain. Do you even have a right to act so bossy? Who are you, anyway?"  
  
Mahiru blinked, taken aback. He hadn't really thought of that before because the entire school knew his name, but now it seemed obvious. If he hadn't known Kuro before, why should he assume that the other boy had known him?  
  
"I'm Shirota Mahiru," he said. "Your classmate, class representative and head of the disciplinary committee! So yes, I do have a right to act bossy, as you just put it!"  
  
"In other words, a workaholic."  
  
"Look who's talking!"  
  
"So, like," Kuro said, reaching for the doorknob, "can I leave now, or are you gonna be lonely without me?"  
  
"Get out before I _throw_ you out!"  
  
"So violent... can't deal." Kuro took a step forward and faced Mahiru head-on. "I can already tell you one thing. You and I will never get along."  
  
Mahiru glared right back at him. "That should be _my_ line!"  
  
Kuro shrugged, opened the door and walked out.  
  
"And you're coming to class tomorrow!" Mahiru yelled after him into the hallway. "I won't let you skip, got that?"  
  
Kuro didn't turn around, but Mahiru swore that he head him mumble something very akin to "What a pain."  
  
He shut the door again, took out his cell phone and set the alarm to an hour before the usual time.  
  
He was probably going to need it.


	2. Mother Hen and the Duckling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The so-called delinquent had been following him around all day like a lost duckling.

Kuro woke up to the sound of someone banging on his door. Very, very loudly.  
  
"Hey, Kuro, are you awake?" a familiar voice yelled at him. "Get up already! You're gonna be late! Hey!"  
  
Like he could possibly sleep when there was this guy banging on the door and shouting at the top of his lungs.  
  
The class rep workaholic guy. What was he called again?  
  
"Can you hear me? It's me, Mahiru!"  
  
Right. Mahiru. Probably the biggest idiot in the entire goddamn school, and from what Kuro had seen, it wasn't exactly short on idiots.  
  
Kuro sighed, buried his head under the pillow and hoped the boy would give up and leave already.  
  
One minute passed. Another one. And a third one.  
  
Mahiru seemed to have no intentions of shutting up anytime soon. "I know you're awake!" he yelled. "Now hurry up and open the stupid door already, or I'm gonna stay here all day!"  
  
What a pain.  
  
Kuro emerged from under the heap of pillows and blankets he had stacked over his head in a failed attempt to keep out the other boy's voice, scrambled to his feet and shuffled over to the door and opened it. "You really don't know when to give up, do ya?"  
  
He was just about to slam the door in Mahiru's face, but his classmate was faster. He stepped his foot inside the doorframe and walked into the room, ignoring Kuro's attempts to stop him. "When I _say_ that you'll go to class, I _mean_ it!" he shot back. "Now hurry up and get ready, or you'll be late!"  
  
Kuro glared back at him. This guy had already ruined his morning _and_ his prospect of spending a nice peaceful day, and he was becoming more and more annoying with every passing second. "Don't wanna."  
  
"I hate to break it to you, but you _have_ to!" Mahiru snapped. "And if you think that you can just kill time until class is about to start and I leave, you're wrong. I'll stay here until you get ready and go to class!"  
  
"You're a real pain," Kuro groaned. "What's up with you, anyway? First you pin me against the door and say you won't let me leave all night and now you invite yourself into my room and refuse to get out. Do you have a crush on me or something?"  
  
That line would probably get him killed if he wasn't careful, but seeing Mahiru blush was definitely worth it. "Of course not!" the class rep exclaimed. "I'm _just_ trying to do my job! And what's with you taking all that out of context? You're making it sound weird!" He opened Kuro's closet, rummaged through it and threw his uniform at him. "Get dressed. I'll put all the books in your bag."  
  
Kuro had no choice but to reluctantly put on his uniform. At the very least he could make a point of putting it on as slowly as he could, and he did. After ten minutes, he was almost finished buttoning his shirt.  
  
"What are you _doing?_ " Mahiru yelled at him. "Hurry up already, class is about to start! And you've buttoned it wrong! Start over!"  
  
"Not so loud, you're giving me a headache..."  
  
"Well, _your_ laziness is giving _me_ a migraine! I know you think I'll leave if you're slow enough, but that's not happening! Oh, for crying out loud," he groaned, stomped over to Kuro, tore his shirt back open and began re-buttoning it, correctly this time. "I have no idea why I'm even doing this in the first place. Can't you even put on a shirt without help? What are you, three?"  
  
Kuro yawned. "What are _you_ , my mom?"  
  
Mahiru shot an icy glare at him but apparently decided that replying to the comment wasn't worth the trouble. "Now just put on your tie, blazer and shoes, and we're ready to go," he said instead, obviously biting down on his annoyance. "You can do that much on your own, can you?"  
  
Kuro gave up. This guy was a royal pain, and going to school was going to be a huge pain, but trying to resist and getting into more fights with Shirota Mahiru was an even bigger pain. One day at school couldn't possibly be _that_ bad, right? If he was lucky, they'd leave him alone again after that.  
  
He took the tie and fidgeted with it, trying to remember how that thing was supposed to fit around his collar, let alone be tied into a knot that looked more or less decent. Was it like this? No, that couldn't be right. Like that? What the hell, now it was a bow tie. Then how-  
  
The tie slipped through his fingers and fell down.  
  
Mahiru pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long-suffering sigh. "You can't even tie a tie properly?"  
  
"I don't remember..."  
  
Mahiru sighed again, picked up the tie and tied it around Kuro's neck with a few swift movements. "There you go. You don't need help tying your shoelaces too, do you?"  
  
Kuro fingered the collar and tie. They felt unusual against his throat, like something that was about to choke him as soon as he didn't pay attention. "It's too tight," he complained.  
  
"Learn to do it yourself before whining," Mahiru answered, taking a look at his watch. He blinked, looked again and jumped with shock. "Oh crap, it's eight! We're gonna be late!"  
  
He grabbed Kuro's wrist, dragging him out of the room and down the hallway while the boy hopped behind him on one foot while trying to put a shoe on the other. His blazer was still hanging in his room untouched. "What a pain," he muttered under his breath, finished tying his shoelaces and started running alongside Mahiru. They hurried down the stairs, out of the dorm and over the path leading to the school building. Both of them ran like their lives depended on it, but they weren't fast enough. When they finally reached the building, the gate was already closed.  
  
Mahiru leaned against the iron bars, peering into the schoolyard while trying to catch his breath. "Damn," he panted. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Climb?"  
  
Mahiru turned around and stared at Kuro like he was crazy. Well, to be honest, Kuro wasn't quite sure about his sanity himself. What was he doing, proposing to climb to go to school? He hated school. All he wanted was to go back to his room and sleep until noon.  
  
Then again, they'd already come this far. And it wasn't like Mahiru would let him go back, anyway.  
  
"You... you want to _climb_ the gate?" Mahiru asked, incredulous. "We'll get caught!"  
  
"Not the gate." Kuro couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe he was about to tell this guy, class rep, head of the disciplinary committee and devoted workaholic, about his secret way in. Well, technically it was his secret way _out_ , but there was no need to mention that right now. "I know a better spot."  
  
He started walking alongside the wall and motioned for Mahiru to follow. They sneaked through some dry bushes and tall grass until Kuro found the place he was looking for.  
  
Mahiru stared at it skeptically. "It doesn't look that different from all other places to me," he said, frowning. "What's so special about this spot?"  
  
Kuro pointed at the cherry tree on the other side of the wall.  
  
"That's on the _other_ side. How's that supposed to help us?"  
  
Kuro sighed. "Look." He set one foot into a crack in the wall, heaved himself up and looked down at Mahiru. "And now you can get down by climbing the tree."  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Mahiru tried to imitate Kuro's way of climbing the wall but failed. Once. Twice. He tried again and failed miserably.  
  
"How did you do that?" he groaned, trying to heave himself up a fourth time. His foot slipped, and he fell back on the ground with a thud. Wincing slightly, he scrambled back on his feet to start a fifth attempt.  
  
Kuro let out a heavy sigh. "You really suck, can't deal."  
  
Mahiru's cheeks reddened with anger and he was obviously just about to reply something when Kuro held out his hand. "Here."  
  
Mahiru blinked, taken aback. "Huh?" he stammered, unsure if he should take the offered hand or not. "A-Are you helping me up?"  
  
"It'd be troublesome if you broke something and I had to get help," Kuro replied. "So are you gonna get up here or not?"  
  
Mahiru smiled, took his hand and leaped up the wall.  
  
Kuro chose not to tell him the real reasons why he'd helped. That he simply couldn't stand watching someone who needed help and not doing anything, no matter how much he hated to admit it. Mahiru was an idiot and a pushover, and he'd been getting on Kuro's last nerve all morning, but at that moment when he had tried so hard and still didn't make it on his own... Kuro had felt bad for him. Even if he still didn't like him, watching and doing nothing just hadn't felt right.  
  
And besides, he had to admit that that smile of his wasn't actually a bad reward.  
  
\---  
  
"Sorry we're late!"  
  
The entire class simultaneously jumped with surprise and spun around as the door slammed open and Mahiru came bursting into the classroom, Kuro in tow, both of them out of breath. Mahiru bowed, looked at Kuro from the corner of his eye, then tugged at his tie to try and make him do the same. "Hey, you need to bow and apologize too!" he hissed. "It's your fault we're late in the first place!"  
  
Kuro bowed slightly, only to be pushed lower by Mahiru, and mumbled something that faintly resembled an apology.  
  
All of class 2-B stared in awe. Nobody said a word.  
  
"Sh-Shirota-kun!" the teacher finally broke the silence. "You really managed to bring him to class? That's great! To be honest, I was a little worried when both of you didn't show up. But now you're here, so that's all that matters!" She looked at Kuro, who had straightened again and now stood towering above her and the rest of the class. "Now hurry up and sit down," she added nervously, adjusting her glasses even though it wasn't necessary. "Sit down, we need to continue!"  
  
Mahiru led Kuro to his assigned desk and sat down next to him. The boy seemed visibly uncomfortable, fidgeting with his sleeves and his tie and not quite sure where to look. It was obvious that he was feeling terribly out of place.  
  
Not that Mahiru couldn't understand it.  
  
All over the classroom whispers started to spread. People would talk to each other in hushed voices, looking and pointing at Kuro but hurriedly turning away as soon as their eyes met with his. Even the teacher seemed nervous when addressing the boy and was obviously trying too hard not to anger him.  
  
It was almost like the entire class was _afraid_ of Kuro.  
  
Mahiru couldn't understand why. Of course, he did look a little threatening with those dark bags under his eyes and that gloomy expression, but most of all he looked like he was in dire need of a nap. Yes, he was tall too, taller than most, but not nearly as tall as some of the third-years and almost half a head shorter than Snow Lily, one of the most popular students of the entire school. So what was it that made him so scary to everyone except Mahiru? Were there any rumors he didn't know about?  
  
Kuro himself seemed to have no intention of showing why everyone else was so terrified of him for the moment. Visibly fed up with the whispers and suspicious stares, he placed his head on his desk and fell asleep.  
  
Mahiru tried to wake him up again, but the teacher shushed him. "Let him sleep for today," she whispered. "It's good enough that he showed up to class at all. If you wake him now he'll just get angry."  
  
Mahiru frowned at her. "But sensei, what's the point of going to class if you sleep right through everything important?"  
  
"Well, maybe he'll wake up again soon. And you can always show him everything he missed," she smiled nervously, "right, Shirota-kun?"  
  
Okay, there was _definitely_ something wrong here.  
  
And he'd find out what it was.  
  
But first he'd have to wait until the class was over.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru had no idea where he had found the patience to wait until the end of the class. He'd spent the hour not paying attention to anything the teacher said but staring at the clock and wondering who on earth had slowed it down, and once or twice he almost gave in to the temptation of asking his friends right away. But he hadn't, he had endured, and now it was about time he got his answers.  
  
"Alright, guys," he said just as his friends were packing their books into their bags, "tell me. Why the hell is everyone so scared of Kuro?"  
  
The other three looked at each other, wondering where to start.  
  
"He's an infamous delinquent," Koyuki finally said. "The others told us about him when you both didn't show up this morning. There are some nasty rumors about him."  
  
"Yeah, they say he's in a gang." Sakuya grinned mischievously, delighted at the prospect of telling a scary story. "And that he knows how to fight really well, and he took out an entire rival gang on his own once. Rumor has it that he even killed a guy, so you better be reeeeeally careful around him- ouch!" He tried and failed to dodge the eraser Mahiru flung at him. "What was that for?"  
  
"Are you making stuff up again? I should've known."  
  
"No, Mahiru, Sakuya's right," Ryuusei answered in a dark, serious tone that wasn't like him at all. "I heard that he used to be the boss of a gang called the Servamps in middle school, and he really _is_ a monster. People used to call him... Sleepy Ash, the Silent Demise."  
  
Mahiru gave an incredulous look to the boy snoring on the desk next to him. "I mean, I get the 'Sleepy' part, but..."  
  
"Mahiru!" Koyuki scolded him. "That's nothing to laugh at!"  
  
Ryuusei nodded. "What if he really killed a guy?"  
  
"That's only a rumor," Mahiru answered sharply, "and it's not like he tried to kill _me_ , so what's the big deal? People like to make up and spread nasty rumors like that, but that doesn't mean we have to believe everything we hear." He got up and walked over to Kuro, grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Hey, wake up, lazybones! We gotta go to gym class, or we'll be late!"  
  
The boy groaned loudly. "Noooo," he whined. "Don't wanna go to gym. Don't wanna move..."  
  
"Quit whining already!" Mahiru grabbed his collar and yanked him to his feet, only allowing him to take his bag before dragging him towards the door. "You're going, and that's it!"  
  
"What a pain." Kuro yawned and followed him while the others stared at the two of them in amazement. "And I was just having such a nice dream."  
  
\---  
  
By lunchtime Mahiru didn't know if he was more annoyed or confused, or maybe both equally, and to be honest he couldn't care less. Kuro's behavior just didn't make any sense.  
  
The so-called delinquent had been following him around all day like a lost duckling. And by following around, Mahiru didn't just mean going everywhere he went, sitting right next to him without considering that he could be stealing someone else's assigned unassigned seat, or staying behind him when they were on opposing teams when playing dodgeball in gym class, getting hit first and then refusing to leave the field until Mahiru got hit too. That was plenty annoying already, but Mahiru could have lived with that if it meant that he didn't have to drag Kuro to every single damn class. No, what he couldn't live with was Kuro completely ignoring the concept of personal space, hiding behind his back as soon as someone else approached them, and staying glued to him even when he was trying to talk to his friends. Mahiru felt like he was babysitting a lost child.  
  
Currently he was sitting at the lunch table and trying to eat while ignoring the glaring contest between Kuro, who had sat down to his left without being asked to, and Sakuya, whose seat he had just stolen and who had finally sat down on Mahiru's other side but refused to admit defeat. Ryuusei and Koyuki were much too terrified of Kuro to be of any help, and Mahiru felt the strong urge to leave this place and go to some forsaken island in the middle of the Pacific for, say, the next five to ten years.  
  
"Guys," he finally sighed, not even caring how annoyed he sounded, "can you all please just calm down and let me eat in peace? It's only a seat. Sakuya, you can sit on my left again tomorrow, and Kuro, you can sit on my right if you want, but today it's the other way around. You're still both sitting next to me, so stop making such a drama out of it!"  
  
Kuro nodded and stared intently at his lunch, pretending not to see Sakuya giving him a triumphant grin and sticking out his tongue when he thought Mahiru wasn't looking.  
  
A few students passed by and stared at them in amazement. "So it's true," one girl whispered. "Mahiru really did drag that delinquent to class? Amazing!"  
  
"And he actually listens to him," a boy added. "Did you see that just now? Mahiru tamed the Silent Demise!"  
  
"Just how powerful is he? Mahiru-sama...!"  
  
Mahiru gave them a confused look from the corner of his eye. "I wonder if they know that I can hear them?" he said through a mouthful of rice.  
  
"Mahiru-sama," Sakuya grinned and dodged the napkin Mahiru threw at him.  
  
"It's not that much of a big deal," he said, rolling his eyes. "People are scared of Kuro for nothing. I just happened not to know the rumors, so I approached him normally and didn't run and hide from him like everyone else seems to do. It's that simple." He took a sip of his drink and turned to the boy sitting next to him. "Right, Kuro?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer. He sat slumped over the table, hands digging into his knees, staring at the ground as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible. His expression was tense, and Mahiru noticed that his hands seemed to be trembling ever so slightly.  
  
"Kuro?" he asked again, worry clouding his voice. "Kuro, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." He raised his head for a moment, met the eyes of someone at another table and quickly looked back down again. "Just tired. Can I go back to my room?"  
  
"Like hell you can!"  
  
"Then I'll just take a nap." Kuro pushed his plate aside and placed his head on the table. "Wake me up when lunch break is over. Or actually, don't bother."  
  
"Don't think that you can just sleep through the afternoon classes! I'll definitely wake you up!" Mahiru still wanted to add something else when he caught sight of Kuro's plate. His classmate had barely eaten.  
  
"Aren't you gonna eat anything? Kuro? Hey, Kuro!"  
  
No answer.  
  
"He sure falls asleep fast," Ryuusei said, eyes wide with some sort of amazement.  
  
"Yeah." Mahiru sighed and turned back to his food. "I really get the 'Sleepy' part."  
  
\---  
  
Of course Kuro had complained when Mahiru woke him up after the break, but once all his protests had proven futile, he had resumed the weird behavior from the morning. At this point Mahiru had almost come to terms with the fact that he had a little tagalong attached to his back, but he also noticed one other thing.  
  
Kuro seemed tense. Nervous, even. He didn't talk to anyone except Mahiru and wouldn't even look people in the eyes, always staring at the ground or out the window unless he was talking to Mahiru. Any time someone else came too close to him he backed away, visibly tensing up as if he was preparing to bolt.  
  
Mahiru knew that the others were afraid of Kuro, but to him it seemed that the feeling was mutual.  
  
Should he do something? If so, what? How could he help Kuro - and did he even have to? Wouldn't the so-called delinquent be fine once he got used to going to class again?  
  
His train of thought was interrupted by a door slamming open, and moments later the home economics teacher walked into the room, wearing a huge smile on his face that usually meant bad news. "Good afternoon, everyone," he said unceremoniously. "For today's assignment I'd like you to work in pairs, so I suggest y'all find yourselves a partner before you're left alone."  
  
There was a shuffling of feet and a chatter of voices as everyone tried to find a partner. Sakuya took his usual place next to Mahiru. It was an unspoken rule that they worked together; they always had, and as long as they weren't separated by something as cruel as, say, ending up in different classes, they probably always would.  
  
Mahiru took a look at Kuro and saw exactly what he had both expected and feared to see. The boy had taken a place in the corner where people would hopefully leave him alone, and upon seeing that everyone else seemed to have a partner, tried to make for the door and escape.  
  
"Here you stay!" Mahiru shouted so loudly that the entire class spun around to stare at him. "No sneaking off during class, got that?"  
  
Kuro stopped in his tracks. "Ah, busted."  
  
"Don't act so nonchalant about it! I didn't go through all the trouble of dragging you here for _this!_ "  
  
"Shaddup, both of you," the teacher interrupted. "No bickering in my class! So, I see that there's still someone without a partner?"  
  
"What a pain," Kuro muttered under his breath.  
  
"We're an even number, or rather you are, because with me we're an odd number. So! Who else doesn't have a partner?"  
  
Misono hesitantly raised his hand, trying his hardest to look proud and fearless but still visibly terrified at the prospect of working together with Kuro.  
  
"But I refuse to work with _him!_ " he declared, all the while avoiding Kuro's eyes. "There is a very good reason why he's left alone!"  
  
"I heard about that." The teacher tried not to sound intimidated, but the look he gave Kuro spoke volumes. "So, is there anyone in this room who's not too chicken to work together with their fellow student?"  
  
The entire class, including Kuro, unanimously pointed at Mahiru.  
  
"H-Hey!" Mahiru turned this way and that but found himself facing a sea of pointed fingers wherever he looked. "What the hell, guys? Am I being volunteered?"  
  
Something seemed to click in Sakuya's head, and he turned to face the others with Mahiru. "Now wait just a sec! Mahiru already has a partner! In case you forgot, I'm standing right here!"  
  
The teacher sighed and gave him a tired look. "Will you be able to survive working without your BFF for this one hour?"  
  
Sakuya's eyes met with Misono's and locked into an icy glare. "Hey, hey, I'm not gonna work with Idiot Hair here."  
  
"And _I_ refuse to work with _you_ bastard!" Misono shot back.  
  
Mahiru pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to look as annoyed and exasperated as he currently felt but failing miserably.  
  
"You're just jealous that you don't have any friends!" Sakuya jeered. "You pathetic little brat can go work on your own!"  
  
"Just for your information, I do have friends!" Misono snapped, folding his arms. "I'm simply not as dependent on my one and only best friend as you are! Is the little boy too scared to go anywhere without his mother?"  
  
" _Shut up, both of you!_ "  
  
Everyone spun around to stare at Mahiru, who had stopped even trying to conceal his anger. "Can you all please just act like normal human beings and not like a bunch of kindergarteners? Sakuya! Work with Misono, it can't be helped! And stop fighting, both of you! Kuro, you're working with me! Now zip it and get to work!"  
  
Everyone nodded, too intimidated to say anything. Sakuya and Misono were still glaring daggers at each other but teamed up without further protest.  
  
"Good, fine, thanks, Shirota." The teacher reached for some chalk and began to scribble on the blackboard. "Now that we've cleared up this little drama, maybe I can actually start telling you about today's recipe."  
  
Mahiru stared at the rest of the class, wonder written all over his face. "That's weird," he mused. "Normally there's at least one person who talks back, but..."  
  
Kuro yawned and sat down next to him. "That's the power of Mahiru-sama."  
  
"Not you too!" Mahiru threw a punch at him but missed.  
  
"So, since you're so powerful you even tamed me," Kuro continued, artfully dodging a second punch, "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own, right? And since you don't need my help cooking that stuff, I'm gonna take a nap..."  
  
"Like hell you will!" Mahiru huffed. "You'll get up and help me, lazybones! You already slept through half our classes!"  
  
He took a look at the blackboard. "Curry, huh? And we just had lunch..." Turning to Kuro, he added, "Come on, prepare the ingredients! Wash the rice first! And don't! Fall! Asleep!"  
  
For the next half hour, the students and teacher of class 2-B couldn't quite focus on what they were supposed to be doing. It was much too entertaining to watch an increasingly annoyed Mahiru yell instructions at Kuro and get even angrier when the latter failed to carry them out the way he was supposed to.  
  
"How much longer are you gonna wash the rice? I need it! Now!"  
  
"What the hell are you doing? That's not how you cut vegetables! Look here... ah, fine, I'll do it. Watch closely! Hey, don't doze off!"  
  
"Kuro! You were supposed to watch the rice, what on earth are you doing? It's boiling over!"  
  
"Don't just stand around and stare like an idiot! Gimme something to clean this mess! Hurry up, dammit!"  
  
"That's the sugar! Not the salt, stupid!"  
  
"Kuro, _no-_ Oh, for crying out loud! Can't you even do that without spilling half of it all over the place?"  
  
Kuro gave him a very, very tired look. "You're a royal pain, you know that?"  
  
"Well, and you're no help whatsoever!" Mahiru shot back. "In the end I had to do it all on my own!"  
  
"Hey, not everyone is a housewife like you and knows how to cook."  
  
"Who are you calling housewife? At least clean up! You'll get the finished dish later."  
  
"Later?" Kuro tried to reach for one of the plates, only to have his wrist caught in Mahiru's grip of iron. "But I'm hungry now."  
  
"Shut up! You have to earn it first!"  
  
"Meanie," Kuro pouted but reluctantly shuffled over to the sink and started washing the dishes.  
  
Whispers and giggles started spreading through the room. "Did you see that? Amazing!"  
  
"Like a mother scolding a kid..."  
  
"I'd feel bad for the poor guy if he wasn't so scary."  
  
Kuro tried to focus on the dishes. _Don't listen to them,_ he told himself, _don't listen. They're all stupid._  
  
It didn't work. No matter how calm he might look on the outside, his classmates' words still got to him. Scary... These kids had no idea. They were the ones who were much scarier, avoiding him, pointing their fingers at him from a distance and whispering rumors.  
  
Damn, this was why he hated school. The people at the arcade might be more dangerous, but at least they didn't give him odd looks when he walked in through the door.  
  
His hands shook ever so slightly, maybe with anger, maybe with embarrassment or fear, he didn't know. Maybe he wouldn't even have noticed if the cup in his hands hadn't slipped from his grip, fallen to the ground and shattered into a million pieces.  
  
Muttering a curse under his breath, he went down on his knees and started to pick up the shards, one by one, ignoring the piercing stares of his classmates as much as he could. Not knowing where else to put them, he collected the pitiful remains of the cup in his hand until a stab of pain shot through his finger.  
  
Kuro flinched, looking at his hand and gritting his teeth. Damn, now he had cut himself too. As if today hadn't already been horrible enough.  
  
And it was all one guy's fault.  
  
Mahiru was done putting the finished curry on two plates and quickly hurried to help Kuro with the broken cup. "Kuro, you really need to be banned from the kitchen," he said, annoyance completely replaced by exasperation. "You can't do anything on your own!"  
  
Kuro dropped his handful of shards, stood up and turned away. "What a pain." _It's all your fault,_ he added silently. _You dragged me here against my will, and now I'm having a horrible day and causing nothing but destruction. Can I please just go back to my room and not leave until we graduate?  
_  
Mahiru looked up and took a sharp breath. "You're bleeding," he said.  
  
 _Yes, tell everyone. It's not like my reputation isn't already bad enough. I used to be the scary delinquent, but thanks to you I'm now the helpless failure of a scary delinquent. What an improvement, thanks a bunch._  
  
What he said out loud was, "Yeah, I'm hurt. That's why I can't do anything for the rest of the day, so can I leave?"  
  
"Keep dreaming! Be right back." Mahiru finished cleaning up the remains of the cup, threw them in the trash and hurried to his bag, only to come back with a box of band aids. "Show me your hand."  
  
Kuro stared at him like he was out of his mind, unsure what to do.  
  
Mahiru simply grabbed his hand, took one look at the cut, washed it and wrapped it up with a band aid. "There you go." He smiled. "It should be better in a couple days. So, about the washing up..." He glanced at the big pile of utensils Kuro had already managed to wash, as well as the only slightly smaller one that was still dirty. "I'll do the rest, you go ahead and eat."  
  
"Um..." Kuro was close to asking if Mahiru was serious, but the look in the boy's eyes made that question obsolete. "Okay."  
  
Now that he saw the two plates of steaming, beautifully smelling curry standing in front of him, Kuro finally remembered how hungry he was. Maybe he should have eaten something at lunch... Then again, lunch hadn't looked or smelled half as delicious as this.  
  
He took a bite. Another one. And another one. He couldn't stop eating anymore, and before he knew it, his plate was almost empty.  
  
Mahiru finished the washing up and turned to him. "So, how did it turn out?"  
  
"A bit plain," Kuro said through a mouthful of curry. "Just like the rest of you." He held out his empty plate. "Seconds."  
  
"Which is it, do you not like it or do you want seconds? And don't speak with your mouth full!"  
  
"Ouch!" Kuro rubbed the newly forming bruise on his head. "How can you punch your partner like that... you really are violent. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru looked at him and sighed in resignation. "You can eat this too if you like," he said, pushing the second plate in front of Kuro.  
  
Kuro looked up, incredulous. "Isn't that your share?"  
  
"It's fine, you can have it." Mahiru gave him an encouraging smile. "I'm not that hungry yet, anyway. And you haven't eaten anything all day, right?"  
  
Kuro looked at Mahiru's smile and didn't know what to say. His classmate was the most annoying person in the history of humankind, a terrible workaholic, short-tempered, pushy and acted too much like a scolding mother, but when he smiled like that, Kuro couldn't really bring himself to dislike him. How long had it been since someone had not been afraid of him? How long had it been since someone had treated him as an equal, worried about him, just been plain nice to him? He had to admit, it felt good. Shirota Mahiru was an idiot, but he did have his good sides too.  
  
That certainly was something he had in common with the food he made. It was plain, simple, and under different circumstances Kuro would have called it boring. But this wasn't boring. Despite being plain, it still managed to be delicious.  
  
How? Was he just so hungry that anything seemed delicious to him?  
  
No, there was a different reason. Just like Mahiru's kind gestures, it warmed him from the inside.  
  
Well, maybe this idiot wasn't so bad after all.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro took back everything he had ever thought about Mahiru not being so bad when a book hit his head.  
  
"Hey!" yelled a familiar voice, completely snapping him out of the beautiful dream he'd been having. "Wake up, sleepyhead! I didn't drag you to class so you could spend the time snoozing on your desk!"  
  
Kuro groaned loudly and turned his head to face Mahiru, who looked like he was about to hit him with the book again. "You're a royal pain, do you know that?"  
  
Shirota Mahiru was the biggest pain that had ever walked on two legs. And from the looks of it, Kuro was probably stuck with him for the rest of the school year.  
  
Oh, great. This was going to be really exhausting.  
  
\---  
  
Tsubaki took his feet off his desk and sat upright when his phone buzzed.  
  
Taking it out of his pocket, he turned on the screen to find that he had a new message from Berukia. That fact in itself wasn't really surprising, because out of his entire gang, Berukia was the only one who would text him in class.  
  
What was more interesting, however, was the content of the message: _TSUBAKYUN BREAKING NEWS!! DID U HEAR?! SLEEPY ASH CAME BACK 2 SCHOOL!!_  
  
Turning off the phone's screen again, Tsubaki smiled.  
  
"I heard about that, Beru," he said under his breath. "Maybe it's time that we pay him a little visit."


	3. Chaos'R'Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shirota Mahiru... tell me something interesting."

Kuro was already counting down the minutes until the end of class. Twenty-nine... twenty-eight... twenty-seven...  
  
In twenty-seven minutes, he'd be allowed to go back to his room and finally, finally relax.  
  
In twenty-seven minutes, he'd be a free man. For today, anyway.  
  
He still needed to come up with a strategy so he wouldn't have to get up early and get dragged to class by the idiot next to him again, the very same idiot who was currently seated next to him and awfully busy trying to understand what the English teacher was saying. Once had been enough, no need to let history repeat itself.  
  
At least Kuro now had a way to pass the remaining twenty-five minutes until class was over without dying of boredom or getting dizzy from staring at the clock for too long. Now, what would be a foolproof strategy? Just ignoring everything and pretending to still be asleep wouldn't work given Mahiru's nature. What then? Pretend to be sick? Hide somewhere? Get up early on purpose to sneak out of the room and to some safer place and continue sleeping there?  
  
Before he knew it, the bell rang. Finally.  
  
Mahiru stood up, stretched, and began packing his books into his bag while taking a quick look at the clock. The committee meeting probably wouldn't begin anytime in the next ten to fifteen minutes, seeing as some of the seniors were always late and the freshmen still needed some time to find the room anyway. Perfect.  
  
"Let's go, Kuro," he said to his classmate, who seemed less than inclined to follow his invitation.  
  
"Go where?" he asked.  
  
"My committee meeting lies on the way to the dorms, so um..." Crap, what had he been thinking? He had told Kuro to follow him out of habit, just because he'd been doing that all day. Had he really grown used to him that fast? "Wanna walk together?"  
  
"Why not." Kuro got up, ready to follow him. "As long as you don't make me join any clubs on the way."  
  
They left the classroom and walked down the hallway in silence. Mahiru found himself watching Kuro, observing that the boy's demeanor had changed. For the first time since they had entered the school building he seemed calm, relaxed even, clearly glad that he could go back to the safety of his room and wouldn't have to interact with anyone anytime soon. At least, that was what Mahiru guessed to be the reason. He himself had never experienced this much fear or distrust from his classmates, his teachers, no, the entire school, but he knew that it had to feel horrible. No wonder Kuro had been so tense all day.  
  
Mahiru was so lost in thought that he didn't notice they had company until he walked straight into it.  
  
He stumbled back, blinking. "Sorry," he stammered hastily. "I was thinking of-"  
  
He never got any further, because the student in front of him met his gaze with a murderous grin.  
  
"Hello theeeere!" he greeted him, his voice echoing down the empty hallways and startling a few birds sitting on a tree outside the window. "Are you interested in seeing our little show? Welcome, welcome! We promise it'll be maaaagnificent!" His grin was distorted into the grimace of a hungry predator about to pounce on its prey. "And youuu've got some guts to ignore the beginning of it, _second year brat!_ "  
  
He lunged at Mahiru, baring his fangs, red eyes screaming for blood. Mahiru acted on instinct, dodging the attack, falling backwards, rolling over and scrambling back to his feet. "What the...?!"  
  
He glared at his attacker as he tried to catch his breath. Berukia. A senior and one of the biggest troublemakers in the entire school. His committee had been wary of him for the entire past year, but why had he chosen to attack all of a sudden, and why him of all people? This wasn't some revenge for running straight into him.  
  
From the looks of it, Berukia had been _waiting_ for him.  
  
The senior hissed a curse and leaped at Mahiru again. Mahiru jumped back, but he wasn't fast enough. He tripped, stumbled backwards and found himself pinned against a wall, one of Berukia's hands at his throat, ready to throttle him.  
  
"Wha-" He coughed and struggled, trying to break free from Berukia's grasp, but his opponent was stronger. "Why do you-"  
  
He was interrupted when Berukia let out a pained yelp. His grip loosened, and Mahiru ducked away, slipping from his hands, ready for a counterattack when a hand closed around his wrist and pulled him away from the scene, Berukia following close behind.  
  
"What the hell, Kuro!" he shot at the boy running next to him. "You're supposed to be a delinquent, right? We can fight this guy, can't we?"  
  
Kuro's eyes hardened as a dark cloud seemed to pass over them. "I'm not used to fighting anymore."  
  
"Then get help! I'll fight him on my own!"  
  
"Now, now, that might be a little difficult."  
  
All three spun around to face the owner of the fourth voice that had suddenly burst into the conversation. Mahiru craned his neck, trying to get a glimpse of whoever had just turned up, but Berukia was in the way.  
  
He had a pretty good idea of who it could be, though. That voice sounded dreadfully familiar.  
  
"Tsubakyun, you're laaate!" Berukia greeted him. "I swear I caught one of the brats already, but the other sneakily jabbed his fingers in my ribcage and now they escaaaped! Let's catch 'em!"  
  
Tsubaki. Mahiru should have known.  
  
He stopped in his tracks, nearly making Kuro slip and fall over. "We shouldn't run."  
  
"Why not?" Kuro answered, struggling to keep his balance after the abrupt stop. "It's way easier and nobody gets hurt."  
  
"The committee meeting is about to start, and it's supposed to be right here! What if they choose to attack the other committee members if we run away? The seniors might still be able to defend themselves, but the freshmen... We can't let them stay here!"  
  
He turned around, ignoring Kuro pulling at his wrist, nagging him to keep running. "You go on ahead if you want. I'll stay here and stop them!"  
  
"Good luck with that," Kuro hissed, tightening his iron grip on Mahiru's wrist. "They're not people you could beat. Actually, they're not people a guy like you should mess with at all. Just accept that they're out of your league."  
  
 _They're out of your league.  
  
This isn't something someone like you should do. Let someone else do it.  
  
Don't do anything. Someone else will do it if you wait long enough.  
  
If only someone turned up who did this for us...  
  
Someone...  
  
Someone..._  
  
Excuses.  
  
Mahiru was so sick of hearing that he shouldn't do anything. He was sick and tired of being told to wait until someone else showed up and solved a problem, sick and tired of not being able to help, sick and tired of listening to people's warnings and then regretting that he didn't do anything. "I won't know until I try, right?" he burst out. "What if we don't try and end up regretting it? What if we wait for someone else to do this for us and that someone never comes? If we don't do this here, _who will?_ "  
  
Kuro blinked at him, stunned. His grip on Mahiru's wrist loosened ever so slightly.  
  
Mahiru broke free from his grasp, stepping forward to face Tsubaki and Berukia. "You can run away if you want," he said, turning to Kuro. "But I won't."  
  
The reply he got was the sound of hands clapping. "What a show," Tsubaki said, smiling from ear to ear. "Almost like a speech from a movie!" He burst out laughing, his shrill laughter resonating through the hallways, roaring, howling until he suddenly stopped. "Ah... boring." His smile turned into a deadly smirk. "Now let's follow it up with some action scenes, shall we?"  
  
Berukia lunged at Mahiru another time. But this time Mahiru was prepared, dodging the attack and sending the senior sprawling on the floor. He knelt and held him down while facing Tsubaki, who watched with mild amusement. "Why are you doing all of this?"  
  
"Shirota Mahiru... tell me something interesting."  
  
"...Huh?"  
  
"Once upon a time there was a class representative who met an infamous delinquent and brought him back to class. Is that interesting? Is that special? It's boring. Everything's so very boring, and nobody understands me."  
  
"Wait." Mahiru stared at him, incredulous, trying to make sense of what he had just heard. "You're doing all this because you're _bored?_ "  
  
Tsubaki burst into another fit of laughter. "You really assume that I'm just doing this out of boredom? That's cute!" He tried to continue but laughed so hard he couldn't speak until his laughing fit ended as abruptly as the first one. "Ah... Boring. No, it's because I once met a group of people who I thought weren't boring. A group of seven, powerful... _interesting_. But when I joined them, they turned out to be just as boring as everyone else. So I tried to make them less boring."  
  
Mahiru felt his insides tense up as he waited for Tsubaki to continue. "What did you do?"  
  
"Oh, not much, just tried to spice things up a bit." Tsubaki's grin disappeared and was replaced by a dejected expression as he continued, "But they didn't like it, so they kicked me out."  
  
Something in Mahiru's mind clicked.  
  
"Revenge," he whispered. "Revenge," he said again, loudly. "Is that it? You want revenge on that group of people for kicking you out?! Who are those people, anyway?"  
  
"The Servamps," Berukia answered in Tsubaki's stead.  
  
"Kuro's old gang?" Mahiru blurted out before he could stop himself. So it wasn't just a rumor. This rumored gang called the Servamps really existed, and Kuro was probably part of it. No, he had to be part of it. Why else would Tsubaki choose to attack him?  
  
So they hadn't been after him at all. They had meant to take Kuro on, and Mahiru had just happened to be around.  
  
"You're after Kuro, right?" he asked Tsubaki, looking him straight in the eyes. "You've been after him all along."  
  
"Can't deny it. Well," the senior said, turning, "enough talk. I'll go and say hello to big brother!"  
  
" _Won't let you!_ "  
  
Mahiru jumped to his feet and tackled Tsubaki, slamming him against the wall and holding him in place. "I won't allow you to hurt anybody! I don't care if you're after revenge or whatever, if you hurt even a single person I'll personally make sure you get what you deserve!"  
  
"But first," Tsubaki said with a deadly smirk, "good night."  
  
It was too late that Mahiru realized his mistake. While he had stopped Tsubaki, Berukia had been unguarded.  
  
Mahiru spun his head as a shadow was cast over him. Berukia's giant figure loomed over his back, one hand holding a baseball bat, ready to swing.  
  
Thoughts raced in his head. What should he do? Should he let go of Tsubaki and dodge, then try to handle both of them while one was armed? Run away? Call for help? Try to block the hit somehow?  
  
Damn. What should he _do?_  
  
Berukia swung the bat.  
  
Mahiru ducked his head, closed his eyes and prepared for the hit.  
  
Nothing happened. There was a yelp, a thud, and then silence.  
  
"Told you they were out of your league," a voice said behind him. "What a pain."  
  
Mahiru opened his eyes. That voice... it couldn't be!  
  
He turned around to find Kuro standing there, baseball bat in hand, a disarmed Berukia lying at his feet, knocked out for the moment. The delinquent's expression was as bored and exhausted as always, but his eyes were dark, his gaze hard, like a pair of blood-red diamonds in the shadow of a brewing storm.  
  
Even in the face of the entire mess around them, Mahiru couldn't help cracking a smile. Kuro had returned. He had warned him not to fight against Tsubaki and Berukia, he had run away on his own, but in the end he had come back. Mahiru wasn't alone anymore.  
  
"Kuro." He looked up to meet his classmate's gaze, brown eyes locking with red ones. "Now that you're back, let's end this together. Thinking simply... right now, the ones who can stop Tsubaki are you and I. The two of us."  
  
"Really?" Tsubaki let out a short laugh before grinning widely, a hungry monster baring its fangs at a piece of meat. "Hello again, big brother. It's been some time, right? Why don't we celebrate this long-awaited reunion?"  
  
Kuro's gaze turned to steel. "Shut up," he hissed, his voice cutting through the air like a sword.  
  
Mahiru looked at him and shuddered. This wasn't the Kuro he knew, the lazy truant who slept in class and was afraid of his classmates because they avoided him. This was the delinquent people only spoke of in whispers, the gang member, the fighter. The one who was rumored to have killed a man.  
  
Suddenly those rumors started to ring very true.  
  
Kuro and Tsubaki started to circle each other carefully, the well-choreographed dance of two experienced fighters. Mahiru saw them and took a step back.  
  
Kuro was right. They were both way out of his league.  
  
The delinquent reached out and shoved the baseball bat into Mahiru's hands. "For self-defense," he muttered. "You might need it."  
  
Then he pounced.  
  
Tsubaki dodged and countered. Kuro evaded the attack, took a few steps back and attacked again. They went left. Right. Up. Down. Their fight was so fast that Mahiru could barely follow with his eyes.  
  
But even he could see that Kuro was losing.  
  
Something bright flashed in Tsubaki's hand. Kuro staggered back, drops of blood falling from his face and hitting the floor. Cursing under his breath, he pressed his fingers on the clean cut across his cheek.  
  
So Tsubaki had a knife.  
  
This wasn't a game. This was serious. Tsubaki would stop at nothing to get his revenge.  
  
But Mahiru wouldn't let him.  
  
Letting out a battle cry, he leaped at Tsubaki and tried to wrestle the knife from his hand. The senior turned, and before Mahiru knew it, he found himself on the floor, the baseball bat falling from his hands and rolling under Tsubaki's foot.  
  
Behind Tsubaki's looming figure, Berukia started to stir.  
  
"Dammit," Mahiru hissed, scrambling up to his feet to try and get to Kuro's side. "What the hell are you doing, using that knife? You could kill someone with that!"  
  
Tsubaki laughed. "I won't let that happen. But... would it matter if I did?"  
  
Mahiru leaped up to snatch Tsubaki's knife, but the senior held it out of reach. "Give... that... back!" he panted, jumping again and again in a feeble attempt to get his hand on the knife. "Using my duties as the head of the disciplinary committee... this knife... is officially... confiscated!"  
  
Just as Tsubaki was about to answer, a hand reached out and took the knife from him. "If you please... Thank you!"  
  
Everyone spun around to find Snow Lily standing next to them, smiling his ever-cheerful smile and holding out the knife to Mahiru. "Here you are."  
  
Berukia staggered to his feet and tugged at Tsubaki's sleeve. "Hey, Tsubakyun," he said, pointing behind Lily, "we're outnumbeeeered! I guess we should get outta here before it's too laaate!"  
  
Mahiru and Kuro turned to look in the direction Berukia had pointed at to find Misono standing behind Lily, arms folded, wearing his default glare on his face.  
  
"Well, we've still got things to do," Tsubaki said from the side. "See you later, alligators!"  
  
Mahiru spun around to stop them, only to find them both gone. "What the-"  
  
"Shirota, you idiot!" Misono yelled at him. "Why did you let your guard down? Now they could be anywhere!"  
  
"Well, why didn't _you_ do anything when they left?" Mahiru shot back. "All you had to do was look straight ahead, and you would've seen where they went! What the hell were you looking at?"  
  
"Lily, you bastard! You're blocking my view!"  
  
"Well, sorry about that." Lily chuckled and loosened his tie, then started to unbutton his shirt. "Just tell me the view you'd prefer and I'll be happy to..." His half-unbuttoned shirt began to slip down, revealing his shoulders and his toned chest.  
  
Misono pointed a dramatic finger at him as if he wanted to cast a spell. " _Leave your damn clothes on, you pervert!_ "  
  
Lily just smiled and began rebuttoning his shirt like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Sorry, sorry!" he laughed. "I just thought that I should leave a good impression behind, seeing as this was our first proper meeting with Mahiru-kun."  
  
"Keep your good impressions to yourself, bastard! You're an embarrassment!"  
  
Mahiru looked from one at the other and found himself wishing for some popcorn.  
  
Kuro leaned against the wall and buried his hands in his pockets. "You really haven't changed at all, huh."  
  
"Thanks, big brother!" Lily turned to him, still smiling. "I have no intentions of changing for the moment."  
  
Something in Mahiru's mind clicked.  
  
Big brother... Wait a minute.  
  
"Big brother," he repeated, turning to Kuro. "Tsubaki called you that too, right? And now Lily-senpai... What's up with that name? I mean, they're seniors so they should both be older than you..."  
  
Kuro shrugged and avoided meeting Mahiru's eyes. "Maybe I seem older."  
  
"Liar! You don't! You barely act your age!"  
  
"Precisely!" Misono added from a safe spot behind Lily's back. "Don't try feeding us such cheap lies, bastard! Tell us the truth!"  
  
"Hey, it's fine if he doesn't want to tell us! Don't pressure him," Mahiru snapped at Misono. "And why are you hiding?"  
  
Kuro yawned and closed his eyes, clearly tired of the chaos that was this entire scene. "Wake me up when you're done bickering."  
  
"Now, now, let's not start another fight, shall we?" Lily took a step forward to stand between Mahiru and Misono. "I call big brother by that name because he used to be our number one, the first member and leader of the Servamps. I was the newest addition before Tsubaki-kun joined, so all the others are like my older siblings."  
  
"Kuro... the leader of the Servamps?"  
  
Mahiru stared at the delinquent in disbelief as the latter lowered his head and mumbled something akin to "can't deal." He could believe that Kuro had been a gang member, that he was an experienced fighter who knew how to defend himself. He had just seen proof of it for crying out loud. But a leader? Mahiru looked at the class-skipping, perpetually tired, irresponsible boy who kept snoozing on his desk when he should be paying attention and really couldn't imagine him leading anyone.  
  
Still it was true. Lily had told him, and Lily was another former gang member. Why should he lie about a matter like this?  
  
Just how many more rumors about Kuro would turn out to be true?  
  
But that wasn't even the strangest thing. The school's most handsome and popular guy, Snow "Always Smiling" Lily, ace of the swimming club, was also a former gang member? It was hard to imagine.  
  
And what about Misono? He wasn't also...? "Um, Lily-senpai..."  
  
"Just Lily's fine."  
  
"Well, Lily then... uh... who else is... was in the Servamps? For example..."  
  
"If you're talking about Misono here, he's not a member." Lily chuckled as Misono opened his mouth to say something less-than-nice and continued, "We're childhood friends."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Misono yelled at him. "We just happened to live next to each other and you latched onto me and now I can't get rid of you, bastard!"  
  
"Well, if that's true, then how about the time you called me your best friend when you were three? Or the time you made me chocolates on my birthday and made me eat them even though they were burned? Or..."  
  
"Shut up! Don't say unnecessary things!"  
  
Mahiru caught himself checking his watch and almost choked. It was way, way past the time when his committee meeting was about to start. And today was his first meeting as the head of the committee!  
  
Great. Marvelous.  
  
Talk about embarrassing.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt you guys," he said hurriedly, "but I'm already late to my meeting! I have to go back to our meeting room." _At least we succeeded in luring Tsubaki and Berukia away from there,_ he thought. _Hopefully._  
  
"Well, thanks for helping us out just now!" he added as he was about to leave. "If you hadn't turned up, Kuro and I would probably-"  
  
He stopped.  
  
The image of Tsubaki's knife slashing across Kuro's face flashed in front of his eyes. Who knew if that was his only injury? Maybe there were others that Mahiru hadn't noticed.  
  
He turned to the delinquent. "By the way, Kuro, are you all right? Tsubaki didn't give you any other injuries aside from that," he pointed to the cut on Kuro's cheek, "did he?"  
  
"I'm fine," Kuro began to say, then changed his mind. "Actually, no, I got hurt pretty bad. Looks like I'll have to stay in my room and not go to class tomorrow."  
  
"...You're obviously fine," Mahiru concluded, his face slightly twitching with irritation. "But we need to do something about that cut on your face, who knows what was on that knife."  
  
"Don't you need to go to your meeting or something?"  
  
"They can wait for a few more minutes, this is important. We don't want that cut to get infected!"  
  
For what felt like the millionth time that day, Mahiru grabbed Kuro and dragged him to the nurse's office. There was no one inside. Why was the school nurse never there when someone needed her? At this point Mahiru wasn't sure she even existed.  
  
Well, at least the first-aid kit was there.  
  
Kuro stood with his side propped against the wall and watched as Mahiru rummaged through it until he found some cotton and disinfectant. A nasty stinging smell spread through the room when Mahiru opened the bottle, letting a few drops fall on the wad of cotton and approaching Kuro's face.  
  
The delinquent covered the cut with his hand. "No need. It's really not that bad."  
  
"Better safe than sorry!" Mahiru replied, unfazed. "I know this is gonna hurt a little, but it's a lot less painful than an infection. Come on!"  
  
"Don't wanna." Kuro raised an arm in defense. "It hurts."  
  
"Don't be a baby!" Mahiru pulled his arm away and tried to wrestle his hand from the cut. "It's only for a couple seconds!"  
  
"No."  
  
Mahiru yanked Kuro's hand off and held the wad of cotton close to the cut. "Dammit, Kuro, just let me-"  
  
Kuro flinched away. "It hurts already! It burns!"  
  
"What the hell, I didn't even touch your fa- _whoa!_ "  
  
Kuro flinched even more violently the second time, tripped and tumbled backwards, pulling Mahiru with him. There was a giant crash, and a split second later they found themselves enjoying the view from the floor.  
  
Mahiru had landed right on top of Kuro, his elbows propped down next to his classmate's shoulders to stop the fall, his face only inches above the delinquent's. They looked at each other and blinked, trying to process the situation, before Mahiru truly realized what was going on.  
  
His face heated up as his cheeks turned bright red. What the hell was this? It was almost like someone enjoyed putting him and Kuro in every compromising position or situation they could think of. He felt like the protagonist of a bad romance manga.  
  
Of course it was at this very moment that the nurse walked in.  
  
Her cheeks reddened as she stared at them, unsure of what to say or do. "Um...?"  
  
"Sorry! It's not what it looks like!" Mahiru blushed even redder and hurriedly scrambled to his feet. "It was an accident, I swear! For the last time, Kuro, just let me take care of the cut without causing any more destruction, can you?"  
  
"You're so persistent... what a pain."  
  
"Well, I won't disturb you boys!" The nurse giggled and waved as she turned to leave. Peering over her shoulder, she winked and added, "Don't worry, I didn't see anything."  
  
Mahiru glared after her.  
  
Who was he kidding, this was a godawful romance manga. And a very clichéd one at that.  
  
 _Oh well, let's just get this over with._  
  
He reached out a hand to help Kuro up. The delinquent hesitated for a moment, but then he took it, his gaze facing the other way. Maybe it was the light playing tricks on his eyes, but Mahiru could have sworn that his cheeks were a little pinker than usual.  
  
He suppressed a chuckle. It felt somehow relieving to know that Kuro was just as embarrassed about this whole situation as he was.  
  
"You okay?" he asked, his tone much softer than before. "You didn't get hurt when we fell, did you?"  
  
"I'm fine." Kuro still didn't look at him.  
  
"Good. Now just let me take care of the cut without causing any more drama, I promise it won't take long."  
  
Kuro sighed, nodded and sat down.  
  
Mahiru quickly cleaned the cut with some water, then he took a fresh wad of cotton with a fresh dose of disinfectant. Kuro flinched slightly as he approached his face with it but made no attempt to fight back. Mahiru leaned closer to get a better view of the cut, and suddenly their faces were only inches apart again. For just a moment they looked into each other's eyes, and Mahiru could see his reflection in Kuro's red ones.  
  
His classmate wasn't actually half bad-looking, he realized. In a very weird sort of way he looked... cool, with the dark shadows under his eyes and the grim expression and the scar on his face.  
  
Maybe it was just Mahiru's imagination. Maybe he was just impressed with his classmate because he had defended him from Tsubaki and Berukia. Even if it hadn't helped much in the end. Even if he had run away at first. Yes, he had been right, they had been no match for the seniors, and maybe Mahiru should have listened to him.  
  
But still... he hadn't abandoned Mahiru. He had come back to help.  
  
Mahiru smiled and started taking care of the cut.  
  
Kuro flinched as the disinfectant burned on his cheek like it was on fire. It hurt. Terribly. Just as much as he'd feared. It took all his willpower not to shove Mahiru off and run away, preferably with an ice pack for his burning cut.  
  
But then again... aside from the pain, it wasn't actually so bad, he realized. Even if it was exhausting, Mahiru worried about him. Shirota Mahiru was nice - in the most annoying way imaginable, yes, but he was still one of the nicest people Kuro had ever met. He was one of those people who tried to take care of everyone, even loners and freaks and outcasts like him, even those who didn't want to be taken care of. Someone who worried about everyone else before thinking about himself, a guy who always gave one hundred and ten percent and tried to do everything, including the things he couldn't do on his own.  
  
From Kuro's perspective, he was a complete and utter moron. Taking care of everyone like that had to be terribly exhausting. Tolerating the company of people everyone else found insufferable and trying to help everyone and their mothers definitely didn't sound like something Kuro would ever consider doing, even for a massive bribe. And here was this guy who did it all of his own free will, who dragged Kuro to school against his will and didn't fear him in spite of all the rumors, the guy who tried to fight Tsubaki and Berukia alone despite all his warnings.  
  
Fearless. Impressive.  
  
Kuro watched as his classmate treated his cut, noticing all the tiny details he had failed to notice before. He noticed how long Mahiru's lashes were, and he noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as he concentrated on the task at hand. _Pretty_ was a word that came to mind without Kuro asking for it - and up close, Mahiru really was pretty with those dark eyes and the smile that would sometimes light up his features. His looks were by no means outstanding, but there was something warm and welcoming in that otherwise average face that gave him his own kind of beauty.  
  
And now he was taking care of Kuro's injuries for the second time today. At this rate it would wind up becoming a ritual.  
  
Mahiru finished his work and leaned back, and Kuro suddenly realized that the cut on his face didn't hurt anymore. "Alright," he said with another one of those oddly charming smiles, "all done! It should be better in a couple days."  
  
"It would've gotten better without your treatment. That hurt."  
  
"It hurts, but it helps too! You'll see!"  
  
Mahiru tossed the used wad of cotton in the trash and turned back to Kuro, his expression serious. "By the way... I've been thinking."  
  
Kuro took one look at Mahiru's face. "You're about to ask for something really exhausting, aren't you?"  
  
"I think we should stop Tsubaki."  
  
Kuro's face darkened as he remembered the senior's deadly smirk. Too many memories were tied to that face, memories he wanted to forget. He didn't want to see or hear Tsubaki anymore, let alone meet him again.  
  
"Okay," he said warily. "You can do that if you want. I'm not gonna stop ya or anything."  
  
"No, I mean..." Mahiru took a step forward and locked his gaze with Kuro's. "You and I. We could stop him. Maybe together with your old gang if the two of us can't do it on our own. Thinking simply... who else should do it?"  
  
 _Someone could,_ Kuro thought. _Maybe the others. My old gang, or the disciplinary committee, or some other random people who are stupid enough to fight him. But not me._  
  
No, he had learned his lesson. Painfully. He would never get caught up in any gang business or hurt people again, ever.  
  
But... _you and I. The two of us._ When had been the last time someone had said that to him?  
  
Probably some time he either couldn't or didn't want to remember. Possibly both.  
  
It still felt good though. It almost sounded... like Mahiru trusted him. Of course, this was Mahiru, the same guy who'd probably fall for every cheap trick in the book if left to his own devices because he seemed to trust every single human being on the planet, but it still felt good. Undeserved, but nice. Like getting a good grade on a test he had copied from someone else.  
  
He'd just disappoint him.  
  
Better do it now than raise any hopes. Besides, this whole business sounded painfully troublesome.  
  
"Don't wanna," he said. "Someone else should do it. I won't."  
  
"Why not?" Mahiru exclaimed. "What if he keeps causing trouble for the others? What if he attacks students who can't defend themselves like you can? We can't let that happen!"  
  
"It's still none of my business." _I don't want to go back to that world. Please._  
  
"They could be your classmates! That makes it your business too, lazybones!" Mahiru huffed. "I mean..." His voice became more hesitant again. "You don't really know them... or get along with them... but I mean, still! You're such a good fighter... Will you at least come if I need your help? You can do that much, right?"  
  
"Can't guarantee that." Of course he would. "I guess getting help from somewhere wouldn't be too exhausting."  
  
"You could just help me yourself! But I guess it's a beginning," Mahiru added, a relieved smile crossing his face. "Thanks, Kuro."  
  
Damn, Kuro was really starting to like that smile. Even if the person behind it could still be a major pain in the neck.  
  
"By the way," he remarked, trying to pretend that he hadn't just stared at that smile like an idiot, "are you still gonna go to your meeting?"  
  
The color left Mahiru's face. "Crap!" he exclaimed and took a quick look at the clock. "Double crap, twenty minutes late! I really gotta go now, see you tomorrow!" Dashing through the door, he stopped again and turned back over his shoulder. "And you're coming to class again tomorrow, no excuses!"  
  
He darted off. Kuro stared after him with mild interest. _One hundred and ten percent,_ he thought. _Typical workaholic._  
  
This school year was going to be a total nightmare.  
  
\---  
  
Everyone in the disciplinary committee jumped with surprise as a door slammed open so violently it nearly broke. Inside the door frame stood a very exhausted Mahiru, leaning forward, hands propped on his knees, gasping for breath.  
  
"Sorry I'm late," he panted as soon as he could speak again. "There was... a bit of an emergency."


	4. The Lab in Collaboration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sensei! I demand a different partner!"

True to his word, Mahiru turned up at Kuro's door the next morning.  
  
He had learned his lesson. This time he had woken up even earlier, and now he hopefully had enough time on his hands to drag Kuro to class without being late.  
  
He also knew that Kuro was a heavy sleeper, so he'd have to make some noise until lazybones decided to get up and open the door. So he stepped right up to it and knocked as hard as he could.  
  
It was probably loud enough to wake everyone on the entire floor, but Kuro didn't answer.  
  
"Kuro!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Kuro, wake up! Open the door or we'll be late again!"  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"Kuro, can you hear me?" he yelled even louder. "Get up already! I know you're awake!"  
  
Noise was starting to stir in the neighboring rooms. People were groaning and grumbling, and one tired-looking freshman opened the door and poked out his head to see what the hell was going on at this ungodly time of the morning.  
  
"Geez!" one voice came loud and clear from the room next to Kuro's. "What the hell is going on, it's way too early! Angel-chan, make it stop!"  
  
"Shut up, stupid rat!" another voice answered from the room across from the first one. "I'm still trying to get some sleep here! Go do it yourself or I'll kill you!"  
  
Mahiru sighed. The walls really were thin here.  
  
"Kuro, for crying out loud!" he shouted, trying to ignore people's annoyed groans. "Just open the stupid door or else...!"  
  
He took a step back and threw himself at the closed door. A boom that could wake the dead resonated through the entire building. Mahiru gritted his teeth and did it again.  
  
The door opened, and he nearly crashed face-first into Kuro.  
  
The delinquent yanked him back to his feet with one hand, reaching out the other to steady them both. "What a pain," he grumbled. "So energetic at this time of the morning... Are you that happy to see me?"  
  
Indeed, Mahiru was well aware that he had almost thrown himself into Kuro's arms. Accidentally, but still.  
  
He gave an annoyed sigh as he felt the heat rising to his cheeks, painting his face bright red. _Seriously not funny anymore._  
  
"Well, whose fault is it?" he snapped. "If you could just open the damn door like a normal person and not leave me standing here until I have to resort to drastic measures, stuff like this wouldn't happen! Or, better yet, you could just get up at a reasonable time without my help and go to class without making a drama out of it! How 'bout that?"  
  
Kuro gave him a tired look. "It's not seven yet... that's not a reasonable time. What a pain..."  
  
"I'm here this early because I calculated the time I'd need to persuade you to get off your lazy butt and go to class! If we didn't have all these pointless arguments, I'd let you sleep longer! It's that simple!"  
  
Kuro seemed to ponder that argument for a moment, but ultimately decided that it was too early in the morning for complicated thoughts like that. "You're too loud," he said. "The entire building can hear ya."  
  
Mahiru felt his face flushing with embarrassment again. "It's all because _you_ refuse to get up until I almost blast your eardrums off! Besides!" he added, remembering that they were just wasting time with their discussion again. "You're getting off topic! Stop distracting me and get ready so we'll be on time today!"  
  
Kuro did his best to put on a pained face. "I can't go to school today," he whimpered. "All my muscles are sore from the fight yesterday, I can barely move..."  
  
For some reason Mahiru felt reminded of a cat playing the pity card on its owner so it would get more food.  
  
"Nice try, but keep dreaming!" he yelled, trying to punch Kuro but missing as his classmate dodged the attack as nonchalantly as others would step over a small puddle. "And besides, you seem to be moving around just fine!"  
  
"That's 'cause I don't have a choice..."  
  
"Yeah, right! No more excuses, lazybones! The best cure to sore muscles is some more exercise!"  
  
Kuro let out a defeated groan, grumbled something about how exhausting Mahiru was, and padded over to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  
  
\---  
  
They had made it. Barely.  
  
Kuro had taken his sweet time again, and Mahiru had been forced to tie his tie again, and Kuro had complained about it being too tight again, and they had wasted a lot of time arguing back and forth and calling each other names again. But today they hadn't been late; today they had put in a race that would have earned its spot in the Guinness Book of Records for Fastest Race to Get to Class in Time, and they had made it at the very last second.  
  
The classroom was buzzing with voices, everyone chattering away even more excitedly than usual, whispering, exclaiming, commenting, interrupting, gossiping. Mahiru found himself reminded of a beehive that someone had very stupidly decided to poke with a stick.  
  
Then he and Kuro walked in, and from one second to the next the room was silent.  
  
Twenty-eight pairs of eyes stared at them, many wide as saucers, many faces pale. There were a few hushed whispers here and there, someone hissing at a friend to be quiet, and Mahiru was fairly certain to have caught the words "fight" and "Mahiru-sama".  
  
A thought popped up in his head. They couldn't possibly...?!  
  
Without hesitation he walked over to his friends and faced them head-on. "Okay, guys, everyone's acting even weirder than yesterday. What the hell is going on?"  
  
They looked at each other and shifted uncomfortably, none of them wanting to start or even knowing what to say.  
  
"What is it?" Mahiru insisted, his voice growing impatient. "Spill!"  
  
"Well, uh..." Koyuki twiddled his fingers, looking even more uncomfortable than before, "Mahiru, you won't like to hear this, but..."  
  
"There was a fight yesterday."  
  
Mahiru's attention snapped to Ryuusei, who had sat upright, arms crossed. "Apparently Sleepy Ash got into a fight with some of the senior guys, and it must've been pretty nasty. Some guys swear they saw knives."  
  
Mahiru swallowed. His eyes strayed to Kuro, who had sat down on his desk, legs dangling in the air, looking bored as usual. He didn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation, but Mahiru knew better. He could feel the delinquent's eyes on him whenever he wasn't looking.  
  
"Does..." Mahiru's voice came out raspy, and he cleared his throat before continuing, "Does anybody know the details? Like... what really happened?"  
  
"I heard he picked a fight with the seniors." Even Sakuya looked dead serious, although Mahiru couldn't tell if he really was or if this was just the setup for some joke of his. "There were two of them. One got knocked out and the other had to run, he didn't stand a chance. That's the Silent Demise for ya, huh?"  
  
Mahiru stared at him, unable to utter a single word.  
  
"But why would anybody bring _knives_ to school?" Koyuki asked, his face and voice distressed. "Kuro is scary and strong enough without a weapon, why in the world did he still use a knife?"  
  
Wait. What the...?!  
  
Mahiru stared at his friends, trying to process what they had just said. They believed _Kuro_ had picked the fight? They thought _he_ was the one who had cheated and brought out a knife? This was wrong on so many levels!  
  
"Guys," he began, "actually, what happened is-"  
  
"They were annoying," Kuro interrupted him, standing up from the desk and walking over to Mahiru's side, towering over all of them. "I just gave them what they deserved." He lowered his head, glowering at them with a gaze that turned everything in its way to ice. "Problem?"  
  
They all shrank back in their seats and shook their heads.  
  
Mahiru turned to face him, trying to say something, to protest, but Kuro silenced him with a look. Before he could try to at least make sense of what he had seen and heard, let alone talk about it again, the teacher walked in.  
  
"Sorry, everyone, I was delayed," she said as she rushed in. Her bright eyes quickly skimmed over the entire class, finally resting on Mahiru and Kuro.  
  
"I see we're finally complete today." She smiled a grandmotherly smile. "Excellent."  
  
\---  
  
If people had been afraid of Kuro before, today they were positively horrified.  
  
Yesterday they had simply avoided his eyes and kept their distance. Today they would flee any place he happened to approach or even look at, whispering among themselves. Today they would give Kuro their wallets and phones when he so much as looked at them, and Kuro had already refused five or six of their offers, shoving people's possessions back into their hands and walking away before they could misunderstand and think he wanted something more valuable. By the time lunch break arrived the delinquent avoided looking at anyone, staring intently at the floor or just closing his eyes and sleeping, at least until Mahiru woke him up.  
  
Mahiru hadn't found a chance to talk to Kuro in private yet, but he sure as hell knew that he needed one. This wasn't right. Kuro hadn't done anything wrong and people had misinterpreted it all, making him the culprit.  
  
Damn this stupid rumor mill.  
  
Who had started it, anyway? How had it found its way into the class so fast? Out of the entire class only Misono had known about the fight, and since Misono never talked to anyone from 2-B unless he was either forced to or fighting with Sakuya, it was highly unlikely that he had said anything.  
  
Besides, Misono wouldn't twist the facts and make things up like that. Maybe he hadn't witnessed the beginning of the fight, but he hadn't seen the knife attack either, so that part definitely couldn't come from him. But then who...?  
  
Wait. Who else, beside himself, Kuro, Misono and Lily, knew about the fight?  
  
Tsubaki and Berukia.  
  
Of course. Tsubaki hadn't managed to end the fight the way he'd wanted, but he had still found a way to counter.  
  
"Kuro," Mahiru said, turning to the delinquent who was just about to leave the classroom and head to lunch, "wait."  
  
Kuro stopped and turned, looking at Mahiru with tired eyes.  
  
Mahiru took a look around to make sure nobody was around to hear them, then walked over to Kuro. "Why did you lie today? You could've just let me clear up the misunderstanding and say that it was Tsubaki who attacked us!"  
  
Kuro shrugged, his eyes focused on the floor. "That would've been a pain."  
  
"What do you mean, a pain? What you're going through now must be a pain!" It didn't make sense. It just didn't make sense. But most of all... "It's just not fair!" Mahiru burst out. "Tsubaki attacked us, and all you did was help me! You did something good, so it's not fair that you have to suffer for it! You did nothing wrong!"  
  
Just for a split second Kuro's eyes widened as he looked at Mahiru in surprise. Just for a brief moment he looked almost... happy? Was that it? Maybe it was just Mahiru's imagination.  
  
The expression disappeared as quickly as it had come. "They don't know you were involved," he said with the usual deadpan look on his face. "You'd get in trouble if they found out... that would be really exhausting."  
  
Mahiru blinked, unable to utter a word. Had he just heard that right? Was Kuro taking the blame for the fight because he was trying to protect _him_? But... his reputation was already bad enough, so bad that he had dreaded going to school! Maybe Mahiru wouldn't even have gotten into trouble if he had just told everyone the truth. It was all Tsubaki's fault. People would have believed him if he had told them that. And still...  
  
"Kuro..." he stammered, trying to find the right words. "I don't... I mean... but... why? I mean... thank you, but..."  
  
"You've got it wrong," Kuro answered, another tired look crossing his face. "What I meant was that I don't want you to get caught up in a war with Tsubaki and his squad."  
  
"Are you..." Mahiru felt a little happiness at the thought, but also a lot of embarrassment at saying it out loud. "Are you worried about me?"  
  
"You're interpreting this too nicely. I don't want you fighting Tsubaki 'cause you'd probably drag me into it, and that would be a major pain."  
  
"Dammit, Kuro! And here I was feeling happy for a second!"  
  
Mahiru sighed. "But... can't you see it? You're doing exactly what Tsubaki wants! He spread this rumor and left me out of it because he wanted to damage your reputation! That was his revenge! We can't just let him get away with that!"  
  
"Maybe he'll leave us alone now that he's got his revenge."  
  
Mahiru remembered the previous day, Tsubaki's words, the knife, the murderous look in his eyes. "No," he said, "he won't give up that easily. He'll try something again, so we have to stop him as soon as possible! Let's ask the other Servamps for help. Together we should be able to do something about him, right?"  
  
"Dunno. Haven't talked to them in awhile... can't we just wait and see until he pulls some stuff again before we start making a huge deal out of this?"  
  
"Then it might be too late, geez! We need to be prepared!"  
  
Kuro yawned. "But not before lunch."  
  
Mahiru was about to reply something when his stomach growled. Kuro was right, they needed to eat. They could still seek out the other Servamps and come up with a plan later.  
  
He followed Kuro out of the classroom, but there was still one thing bugging him.  
  
If the seniors had started the rumor, how had it already arrived in 2-B before class had started?  
  
\---  
  
They were early, but the biology teacher was earlier.  
  
The biology teacher was one of those dreadful people who always arrived five minutes early, and when you added that into your calculations and arrived earlier yourself, they would still find a way to always show up five minutes earlier than you did. By the time Mahiru and his friends - and Kuro in tow, as always - reached the room, she was already there, arms folded as if she was already losing her patience.  
  
"Sit down, gentlemen," she said flatly, with the underlying tone of sarcasm that always surfaced when she spoke, to the point where nobody was able to tell if she was serious or not. "We don't have all day."  
  
They all hurried to their seats, watching as their teacher continued to give every arriving student the evil eye, drumming her fingers impatiently until everyone had sat down. "Alright," she announced without even bothering with a greeting, "today I'd like you to begin working on a small project that you'll have to present next week."  
  
A collective groan went through the room. Small projects, by the biology teacher's definition, were usually time-consuming blobs of assignments that were impossible to finish in time unless you pulled several all-nighters.  
  
"No need to be this excited." She raised a sarcastic eyebrow at the class. "For this project you'll have to work in pairs, and since you so marvelously proved yesterday that you're not capable of pairing up on your own, I'll be choosing who works together."  
  
There was an even bigger groan. Many students shot accusing glares at Sakuya and Misono.  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Sakuya raised his hands in defense. "If you wanna blame someone, blame that guy over there, we wouldn't have all this trouble if he hadn't popped up outta nowhere!" He pointed at Kuro.  
  
"Sakuya!" Mahiru hissed, his voice accusing.  
  
The entire rest of 2-B turned around to glare at Kuro, fear and hatred written all over their faces. Mahiru tried to glare back at them, all twenty-eight of them at the same time, but they didn't even notice. Even Ryuusei and Koyuki continued to eye Kuro with dislike and anger.  
  
Mahiru clenched his fists. This was wrong. It wasn't Kuro's fault that he couldn't find a partner. It was their fault for being afraid of him, shunning him, treating him like a monster. And still they blamed _him_?  
  
"In any case," the teacher continued, "I chose the pairs, and I guess it's in your best interest that you listen when I tell you who your partner's gonna be."  
  
2-B's attention snapped back to her in a split second, and she started listing off the pairs. At least she had put some thought into it, Mahiru had to give her that; many friend pairs worked together, except for the handful who usually distracted each other when they teamed up. His own name still hadn't been called.  
  
"...Shirota and Kuro."  
  
He should've known.  
  
"Ah, we're paired up again," Kuro said without bothering to lift his head off his desk. "I don't know bio, so you're gonna do everything by yourself, right?"  
  
"Like hell I will!" Mahiru snapped and turned to the teacher. "Sensei! I demand a different partner!"  
  
The teacher looked back at him without mercy. "If you got him to stop skipping class, you can get him to work on a project."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts! End of the discussion. Okay, everyone, get together in your groups and agree on a topic! Only rule is that it's gotta be connected to our current main topic. I'll give you ten minutes!"  
  
There was a great clatter and chatter as everyone got up to meet their partners and thirty students started talking at the same time. Mahiru remained in his seat. His partner was conveniently sitting next to him again - well, _sitting_ might not be the right word. _Hanging_ would me a more accurate description.  
  
"Hey, sit up already!" He jabbed Kuro in the ribs, who groaned but at least moved into a half-sitting position. "Don't fall asleep! Let's agree what our project will be about and then..."  
  
Kuro slumped back on his desk. "Your pick."  
  
"What the hell, don't fall asleep again! You _will_ help me, got that?"  
  
"Man, what a pain..." Kuro buried his face in his arms. "Wake me up when class is over."  
  
" _Hey!_ "  
  
Oddly enough, at this moment both of them thought the same thing. This project was about to become a royal pain in the neck.  
  
Just a few seats away, the sentiment was shared by another pair. Misono and Sakuya glared daggers at each other, keeping a desk between them as if it was a barrier of some kind. It was plain to see that both of them wanted to be anywhere but there, but neither of them had a choice.  
  
Misono's face twitched in annoyance. "I can't believe I'm forced to work with you bastard again."  
  
Sakuya gave him a crooked grin. "That's my line, shrimp."  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro?"  
  
The delinquent looked up from the text he was pretending to read for their assignment. "Yeah?"  
  
Mahiru got straight to the point. "I was just wondering, who are the other Servamps? I've already met Lily, but, y'know... what about the rest? Do they go here too?"  
  
"Yeah, they're mostly seniors," Kuro answered, returning to the text to stare at it some more. "But..." His face darkened. "We don't talk much anymore."  
  
Mahiru blinked, taken aback. There it was again, that shadow that had already crossed Kuro's face yesterday. Was there something he didn't want to talk about, some kind of history he shared with the other Servamps that lay on his memories like a shadow? Why had that gang even split up in the first place? What had happened between them?  
  
He shook his head. What was he thinking? He was still the head of the disciplinary committee. If anything, he should approve of the dissolution of the Servamps, not take an interest in them or try to reunite them. Gangs weren't allowed here. Of course he needed allies to stop Tsubaki from causing harm, but he could always ask other people, his committee or the student council.  
  
Yet here he was, thinking about Kuro's former gang, wanting to get their help. If Kuro's strength was any indication, they all had to be the strongest fighters in the entire school, strong enough to stop Tsubaki, perhaps. Not that Mahiru approved of violence. He'd try to collect proof against Tsubaki and anyone else who could possibly be helping him and either convince him to stop or get him suspended. But if push came to shove...  
  
Besides, Tsubaki had a history with them. They had to know him better than anyone else.  
  
"Let's contact Lily again," Mahiru finally said aloud. "Right after school is over, we'll ask Misono where his classroom is and talk to him there. He can probably help us find the other Servamps, and... maybe he knows a thing or two about Tsubaki too." _More than you want to tell me._  
  
Kuro sighed. "I'm tired, can you go without me?"  
  
"You're always tired! And we're looking for your former friends here, so you're tagging along, got that?"  
  
Another cloud seemed to pass over Kuro's face. "Friends... I wouldn't call them that."  
  
Part of Mahiru wanted to ask him. He wanted to ask about Kuro's story with the other Servamps, what on earth had happened between them, what it was that kept clouding his face whenever he talked about them. But he didn't. His intuition told him to keep quiet, to swallow his curiosity. Kuro wouldn't want to talk about it anyway. No need to make him uncomfortable.  
  
"Well, uh..." He tried to sound as normal as possible, like he wasn't a little worried about the great unknown that was Kuro's relationship with the Servamps. "Whatever they are, we'll probably need their help, and you know them better than I do. So you're coming with me!"  
  
"If that means you'll stop nagging me... what a pain."  
  
Mahiru smiled and was just about to reply something when Kuro continued, "But I want ice cream in return. And Coke. And ramen. And potato chips..."  
  
"Like hell I'm gonna buy you all that junk food! Keep dreaming!"  
  
"Meanie."  
  
"You two over there!" the teacher interrupted them. "Shut up and get back to work!"  
  
\---  
  
Misono had been checking his phone suspiciously often over the past hour, and once the last class was over, he stood up and walked directly to Mahiru's desk.  
  
"Oh, hi Misono!" Mahiru began, his expression surprised but friendly. "Do you need anything? I was just gonna talk to you and-"  
  
"Shirota. Kuro." Misono folded his arms, staring at them both, his tone full of authority. "Follow me. I won't tolerate any answer other than 'Yes.'"  
  
Mahiru and Kuro exchanged a surprised glance, then Mahiru got up. "Follow you where?"  
  
"You'll see," Misono said sharply. "Just hurry up and follow me already, bastards! I don't have all day."  
  
Mahiru and Kuro shared another look then did as they were told, partly out of curiosity, partly because they didn't really have a choice anyway. They followed Misono through a handful of hallways that all looked the same to Kuro, but Mahiru's face lit up with a realization that suddenly dawned on him. "Those are the third years' classrooms!"  
  
"Precisely." Misono wove his way through the seniors leaving after class, going to the dorms or heading to their respective clubs. He took a look at the classroom numbers and headed towards one of them, sticking his head inside only to find it empty. "Lily? Where are you, you idiot?"  
  
"Over here, Misono," said an amused voice from the classroom across from them.  
  
Misono jumped and spun around, his face quickly starting to resemble a tomato. "What the hell, you bastard!" he yelled, pointing a finger at Lily. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"  
  
Lily chuckled. "Well, what should I do if you still can't remember which classroom I'm in?"  
  
"What do you mean, still? It's only day three of the new school year! And why should I care about the position of your stupid classroom, anyway? Especially if you just give me some random number! Do I look like someone who remembers other people's classroom numbers?"  
  
"Well, you do know my phone number by heart..."  
  
"After ten years, you moron! Every imbecile could remember a goddamn phone number after ten years! Besides," he added in a calmer voice, "you're going off topic. This is not why we brought them here."  
  
"Of course." Lily let out a final chuckle before finally becoming serious. "We'd like to ask something of you."  
  
"Join forces with us to fight Tsubaki." Misono's tone was frank, no-nonsense. "An answer other than 'Yes' is not an option."  
  
Mahiru looked at them both in surprise, then glanced at Kuro and back at them both. This was... surprisingly convenient. It almost seemed too easy, but who was he to complain? It was exactly what he wanted.  
  
He gave them a small puzzled smile. "I wasn't even thinking of saying no."  
  
Now it was Misono's turn to be surprised. "Eh?"  
  
"Actually, I was just gonna ask you to tell me where Lily's classroom is so _we_ could win _you_ guys as allies! This is great!" He laughed before becoming serious again. "My only condition is that we'll try to keep innocents out of this." Pictures flashed before his eyes, pictures of his friends, Ryuusei, Koyuki, Sakuya. "I have people I want to protect, people I'd rather not drag into this... whatever it's about to become. If you're fine with that, sure, let's team up."  
  
Misono blinked at him, dumbfounded, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. A small embarrassed blush gave his cheeks a pink shade.  
  
"Sorry, sorry," Lily said, laughing. "You took him by surprise, this was something he hadn't included in his calculations. He's not used to being accepted, you know."  
  
He avoided the elbow Misono tried to jam in his ribcage. "Shut _up!_ "  
  
"So um," Mahiru brought the attention back to himself, "we're allies now, but what are we gonna do next? Will we also try to win the other Servamps over?"  
  
"Precisely." Misono smirked, clearly leaving uncharted territory and returning to something he had control over. "Lily, what are the others' replies?"  
  
"None of them have time until next week at the very earliest, sadly," Lily answered, checking his phone. "At least, none of the ones who have bothered to reply at all." Noticing Mahiru and Kuro's questioning looks, he added, "We're trying to organize a meeting of all the Servamps, a reunion so to speak. Maybe we'll just contact you when we know when and where it'll take place?"  
  
"Sure! You have Kuro's contact info, right? I mean, you probably tried to contact him too-" Mahiru stopped and turned to glare at Kuro. "Wait a second! If you got contacted, why didn't you say anything earlier? That would've saved us some time!"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "I never check my mails."  
  
"Why am I not surprised? Check 'em regularly, for crying out loud! What if there's something important?" He gave an exasperated sigh. "Sorry... I guess I'll have to give you my e-mail address. Otherwise we might just miss the meeting because _someone_ ," he glared at Kuro, "is too flipping lazy to check his e-mail account! Oh wait. That's exactly why you don't check it, right?"  
  
"Ah... busted."  
  
"Don't say that so casually! This is important, okay? So at least try to take it seriously!"  
  
They were interrupted by Lily chuckling and holding his cell phone in Mahiru's face. "If you could just enter your contact information here, Mahiru-kun?"  
  
Mahiru typed it in and gave the phone back to Lily, then turned to Misono. "What about you? Should we exchange numbers too?"  
  
Misono stared at him like a deer in the headlights before blushing ever so slightly. "Wh-What are you talking about, you imbecile? Why should we suddenly give each other our numbers?"  
  
"Well, we see each other in class every day, so it might not be that important but..." Mahiru shrugged. "Since we're working together and stuff, it might just be good to have it. Just in case."  
  
Kuro watched as Mahiru typed his number into Misono's phone and made a surprised remark on the lack of contacts on it, without the slightest trace of malice. Kuro wasn't surprised. Misono had the social skills of a plastic houseplant - why, even _he_ could see that, and he wasn't exactly the most sociable person himself. But at least he flattered himself by thinking he was different - he could probably interact with people and be kind of nice if he tried, he just couldn't be bothered because social interaction was about the most draining thing in the entire universe. Misono, however, wasn't being lazy, he just wholeheartedly sucked.  
  
And Mahiru didn't mind. He put up with the most unsociable people in the entire school without even complaining. Why was he surprised that Misono barely had any contacts on his phone? Why had he been so surprised that everyone was afraid of Kuro? Did he not see the bad points everyone else saw, or did he see them and ignore them? Or... did he see good points to losers, underdogs like them, good points nobody else could see?  
  
Shirota Mahiru was a mystery. No, a weirdo. Getting along so easily with everyone... how did he do it?  
  
Kuro watched as Mahiru talked to Misono and felt a slight pang of jealousy. Jealousy... of whom, exactly? Mahiru, for being able to talk to everyone like that, to make friends as he went and be liked even by the most unsociable people?  
  
Or... was he feeling jealous because Mahiru was so nice to all the losers, and not just to him?  
  
Maybe that was it. Maybe he was just a little jealous because he wasn't special.  
  
He shook his head slightly and tugged at Mahiru's sleeve. "Hey, don't ya have club activities or something?"  
  
"Uh... no, I don't," Mahiru said with a look of mild confusion on his face. "I'm only a member of the disciplinary committee, and we don't meet every day, so..." He trailed off until a realization hit him. "Lily!" he exclaimed. "You have swimming club practice, right? Sorry for taking up your time!"  
  
"Oh, not at all. I still have a few minutes, Mahiru-kun. And this just happened to be very important."  
  
\---  
  
Calling this assignment a handful was a major understatement.  
  
Mahiru had been working on it all week, each time giving up after several hours, with what felt like almost nothing finished and a splitting headache on top. The work just didn't seem to decrease at all. And the stupid thing was due tomorrow.  
  
Of course, being lab partners with Kuro didn't exactly make things easier.  
  
They had been texting each other back and forth all afternoon - well, Mahiru had sent one text after the other while waiting for Kuro's massively delayed one-word replies, trying to organize the workload so he wouldn't have to do it all by himself. Not that it helped much. Kuro had missed almost an entire school year of biology, so he needed Mahiru's help at every turn and every single goddamn sentence. In the end, he was still doing everything on his own.  
  
It was hair-tearingly frustrating.  
  
For what felt like the millionth time that day, Mahiru wished he'd been paired with someone else. Sakuya, Koyuki, Misono, no matter who. Even Ryuusei would have made a better partner - Ryuusei was godawful at biology, but at least he got stuff done, even if he complained. Kuro just didn't care.  
  
He knew it wasn't fair to think about Kuro like that. Kuro _had_ missed a lot of classes, and he didn't really have anyone else he could have worked together with, and maybe he had trouble staying focused on an assignment he only partly understood. Of course it was his fault for skipping classes, but if people had always been so frightened of him, it was almost understandable. Going through all that alone must have been hell.  
  
But still... right now Mahiru was just so fed up with the entire stupid assignment that he'd be stuck doing on his own.  
  
He reached for his phone to check if Kuro had replied to his latest text yet when there was a soft tap on the door.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips. Oh, great. Excellent timing.  
  
For a second he wondered if he should get up or open the door or at least ask who was there, but just this once he didn't. He was already pretty damn busy as he was; there was no way he could use even a single second on anything other than this godforsaken assignment, thank you very much. Just this once he kept typing and pretended not to be there.  
  
There was a second knock, louder this time. Mahiru let out an irritated sigh and tried to stay focused. Couldn't he even ignore unwanted visitors in peace? He was _busy_ , dammit!  
  
A third knock came from the direction of the door. Was it Mahiru's imagination, or were those knocks starting to get more impatient?  
  
"Hey..." Before Mahiru could decide if he should finally answer just to be left in peace, a familiar voice spoke up. "You there, Mahiru? I'm coming in..."  
  
Mahiru jumped to his feet, eyes wide, voice incredulous. " _Kuro?_ "  
  
He hurried over to the door as fast as he could and flung it open to find himself face to face with his classmate. Kuro had changed out of the hated school uniform and into something more comfortable; in one hand he carried his laptop, with a cup of cheap ramen and a king-sized bottle of Coke stacked onto it in a way that made Mahiru wonder how he had made his way over without dropping anything. "You're kinda late," he remarked. "I thought you'd never open the door."  
  
"Well, I was busy you know!" Mahiru answered, stepping aside to let Kuro in. "I thought it was someone else trying to talk to me about non-assignment stuff, so I pretended not to be there... I never thought it was you!" He eyed his partner with curiosity. "Why are you here, anyway?"  
  
"Talking's less exhausting than texting about everything," Kuro said, flopping down on Mahiru's bed without being asked to. "Especially when you always take so long to answer."  
  
" _I_ take long to-?! Who's the one who always takes hours for his one-word replies, huh? And leaves me trying to figure out what the hell you even wrote because you're too lazy to type full words!"  
  
Kuro put his laptop on his knees and opened it. "It's called text language for a reason."  
  
"But I don't know it, geez! And I have better things to do than try to Google the meaning of every single one-word abomination you send me!"  
  
Kuro took a few gulps from his Coke bottle. "Aren't you kinda busy to make speeches like that?"  
  
"Yikes! The assignment!" Mahiru practically jumped back to his seat. "Okay, let's get to work! If you got any questions, just ask. But not if you can look it up on your own, got it? I'm trying to get this thing done before tomorrow morning!"  
  
For some time they sat in silence, each working on his part of the assignment and trying not to think about his slow progress and the impossible load of work that still lay ahead. Mahiru's eyes soon started feeling dry from staring at the screen for so long, and his head started pounding as he tried to stay focused, to keep working. No time to take a break now. He had to get this thing done.  
  
Even if he'd probably have to pull an all-nighter.  
  
Mahiru found himself dreading that word. He didn't want to pull an all-nighter. He was tired, he was exhausted, and all he wanted was to leave everything and go to bed. But... he had no choice, did he? Giving up wasn't an option. And even if it was, he wasn't one to give up. He'd already worked on this for so long. There was no way he'd let all that go to waste.  
  
The hours ticked by. A heavy sleepiness crept over Mahiru, fogging up his mind, urging him to lean back and close his eyes. Only a little...  
  
He blinked, forcing his eyes to open. _Must. Not. Sleep,_ he told himself. _Stay awake!_  
  
His eyes strayed over to Kuro, who was still sitting on the bed, quietly typing his part. "Aren't you gonna go back to your room? It's getting kind of late..."  
  
Kuro didn't look up. "Just gotta finish this first."  
  
Mahiru nodded. That was probably for the better. As long as Kuro was here, he couldn't give in to the temptation to give up and go to bed, no matter how much he wanted to. But still...  
  
Couldn't he close his eyes for a second? Just for a tiny moment...  
  
No, no! He shook his head violently. If he closed his eyes now, he'd fall asleep for sure. He had... to keep... working...  
  
The next thing he knew he was lying in his bed, blanket draped over him and unable to process what had just happened to him. How had he made his way here? Had everything been a dream? Had he somehow finished his assignment but been so tired that he couldn't remember it to save his life? For all he knew he should still be sitting at his desk and...  
  
Oh _crap_.  
  
He jolted upright as the realization dawned on him. He had been working on the assignment just fine, and then he had fallen asleep.  
  
Mahiru frantically grabbed his phone from the bedside table, checking the time. Four o'clock in the morning. He'd been asleep for almost three hours.  
  
Crap, crap, crap, _crap!_  
  
Panicking, he calculated the time he had left until he needed to leave for school. Would that be enough? Would he make it? Would he still manage to somehow finish it in time? Damn the sleepiness! If only he hadn't-  
  
His gaze locked on the chair by the desk, and his train of thought came to a grinding halt.  
  
The chair wasn't empty. Kuro sat in it, slumped over the table, face buried in his arms, breathing peacefully. Placed next to him was Mahiru's laptop, still open and working even though the screen had gone dark. His own laptop was shut and lay somewhere in the corner.  
  
Careful not to wake him, Mahiru made his way over to the desk and moved the mouse on his laptop to bring it back from energy-saving mode. Seeing Kuro sleeping so calmly, obviously done with his part, made him feel more hopeful already; if Kuro had made it, then he would probably make it too if he tried.  
  
The screen lit up and Mahiru caught his breath.  
  
The document he had written his part in was still opened, but it was much longer now. Incredulous, he scrolled through the pages, eyes widening as he skimmed over it. It was already done. Finished, and well done to boot.  
  
This wasn't real. He had to be dreaming.  
  
How on earth-?!  
  
He turned to look at Kuro and suddenly everything made sense.  
  
His classmate was the one who had carried him to bed when he had fallen asleep. He had finished his part in record time, and then he had done Mahiru's part for him. Even though Mahiru hadn't done anything to deserve that. Even though Mahiru had been easily annoyed and acting like a jerk and telling him off for everything all week, he had gone out of his way to help.  
  
A fond, grateful smile spread over Mahiru's lips, even as he felt a pang of guilt. Kuro was lazy as lazy could be. He was a delinquent. He was tactless and snarky and only did what he wanted, but deep down he was kind, kinder than anyone Mahiru had ever met.  
  
First he had taken the heat for the fight and now this. Pulling an all-nighter for a partner who had thought he wouldn't do anything to help.  
  
Mahiru walked over to the bed, took the blanket and draped it over the sleeping delinquent's shoulders. _I'm sorry, Kuro,_ he thought. I _underestimated you. I'm so, so sorry._  
  
As he curled back up on his bed, only using his blazer to keep warm, another thought struck him. Kuro didn't deserve all the fears, the nasty rumors and prejudice he got from everyone else. He didn't deserve to be dreaded, avoided, to be treated like a monster. He deserved to be liked, admired, even loved.  
  
And he would make sure people would realize that. He didn't know how, but he definitely would.  
  
Mahiru let Kuro sleep in class that day. This time he had definitely earned it.


	5. Encounters and Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what was that meeting for?"

There were snickers and giggles when Mahiru and Kuro walked into the classroom, visibly tired, with Kuro more asleep than awake. Mahiru assisted him on the way to his desk, just to make sure he wouldn't fall over and snooze off before reaching it, and then made his way over to Sakuya's desk, where Ryuusei and Koyuki were already gathered. "What's so funny, guys?"  
  
Sakuya snickered and pulled the scariest grimace he could muster. "The Silent Demise is wearing off on you. It's a curse! Run before it's too la- _ouch!_ " He picked up the pen Mahiru had thrown at him.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Mahiru asked. "Is it just because Kuro and I hang out together so much?"  
  
"Spending too much time with Sleepy Ash will make you look just like him," Sakuya continued in his ghost story voice, dodging Mahiru's punch.  
  
Ryuusei took a look at Mahiru's expression of utter confusion and grinned. "Eyebags, man."  
  
Koyuki tried not to giggle and failed miserably. "Sorry," he chuckled. "It's just... you have the same panda eyes now..."  
  
"Oh, shut up, all of you!" Mahiru flung light punches at his laughing friends, unable not to crack a grin himself. "I pulled an all-nighter to get the stupid assignment done in time, of course I've got eyebags now!" His gaze flickered to Kuro, who was peacefully sleeping on his desk, and he smiled. "Well, _we_ pulled an all-nighter," he corrected himself. "I never would've made it on my own."  
  
Sakuya, Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a confused glance, unable to believe that the delinquent in the back row had been good for anything, even moral support. This guy was laziness personified; he probably hadn't done a single thing and forced Mahiru to stay up so late, no matter what their friend said.  
  
Ryuusei shifted uncomfortably. "Y'know, Mahiru... you can just tell us the truth."  
  
Mahiru looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Koyuki averted his eyes. "You don't have to lie to protect him," he said hesitantly. "If he made you do all the work alone, just say so. We won't tell anyone else if you don't want us to, but we're your friends! You can tell us everything."  
  
"I _am_ telling the truth!" Mahiru snapped back, anger and disappointment rising in his chest. "Kuro helped me so much, you have no idea. Why should I lie to protect him if he'd made me do everything on my own? You know that's not like me!"  
  
_You've got it all wrong, guys,_ he added in his head, bitter that he couldn't say it out loud. _Kuro was the one who told you a lie to protect me._  
  
Ryuusei scratched his cheek. "Sorry, man. I guess Kuro helping someone's just kinda... hard to believe."  
  
"Then again," Sakuya added with a smirk, "that's the power of Mahiru-sama for ya."  
  
"Stop calling me that, geez!"  
  
They all laughed.  
  
Mahiru's eyes strayed over to Kuro, who was still fast asleep, oblivious to people assuming the worst about him, oblivious to the rumors that might have started spreading if Mahiru hadn't intervened in time. Making them change their minds about him was going to be a lot harder than he'd expected, he realized. He'd have to keep trying again and again, over and over, using up all his patience until someday, maybe, at least a few people saw the light.  
  
But Kuro deserved that much.  
  
_Just you wait,_ he thought as he took his seat next to the sleeping delinquent. _I'll make them all understand that you're much nicer than they think. Just you wait, Kuro._  
  
\---  
  
"Hey, sleepyhead! Wake up already!"  
  
Kuro blinked and opened his eyes with a groan to find himself face to face with Mahiru. The class rep had been shaking him for awhile, and the tone in his voice certainly meant business. Well, this business had better be important, because Kuro had a damn huge lot of sleep to catch up on.  
  
He shifted into something that vaguely resembled a sitting position, fully turning to face Mahiru. "What?"  
  
"Lily texted me. He organized a little Servamp meetup, we gotta go now or we'll be late!"  
  
Kuro's motivation dropped to subzero temperatures. "Don't wanna."  
  
"Thought you'd say that, but we have to!" Mahiru shot back, annoyance slowly rising in his voice. "Besides, it's lunch break anyway. Aren't you hungry or something?"  
  
Kuro was about to reply when his stomach growled, making an answer obsolete. Sitting up ever so slightly, he asked, "Where's the meeting?"  
  
"At one of the tables in the cafeteria. In other words, there'll be food."  
  
Kuro was on his feet at the mention of food. "Whatcha waiting for?" he said, heading towards the door. "Let's go."  
  
They hurried down to the cafeteria to find Lily waving at them from one of the tables, a very grumpy-looking Misono sitting next to him. There were other faces Mahiru instantly recognized when they reached the group; all seniors, just like Kuro had told him. There was Hugh, barely reaching over the edge of the table and excitedly talking to Lily; and slumped into the very corner sat Jeje, trying his hardest not to be noticed, an impossible feat considering his immense height.  
  
So those two were also former Servamps. But... they were still only four, Kuro included.  
  
Where was the rest?  
  
"So where's the food?" Kuro sat down next to the others without even bothering to greet them.  
  
"Hey! Kuro, where are your manners?" Mahiru scolded him, only to be met with a bored yawn. "They're all a year above us, show them some respect!"  
  
"You said there'd be food."  
  
"Well, obviously you still have to get it yourself, as always! Geez!"  
  
"Actually," Lily interrupted their squabble with his usual mild-mannered smile, "there's no need for that." He pointed to two plates of food standing in front of the free seats. "Please just sit down and make yourselves comfortable."  
  
They happily did as they were told. Kuro immediately occupied himself with lunch and didn't seem to be paying much attention as he continued stuffing his face, but Mahiru didn't feel that hungry yet. Not when there were so many questions he wanted answers on.  
  
"So," he said, leaning over to Lily, "where are the other three Servamps? There's seven of you, right?"  
  
The senior's smile saddened a little. "I tried to contact them all, but two were too busy to come, although they offered their help in case we should really need it. The third one... well, he never even replied to my mail." He let out a tiny chuckle. "I must admit, I wasn't all that surprised."  
  
Mahiru gave him a questioning look. "Why?"  
  
"He hates us," Lily answered, eyes dark. "Something happened between him and big brother, and-"  
  
" _That doesn't matter now._ "  
  
Kuro's voice cut through the air like a knife. Mahiru spun around to face him, still busy with his lunch but no longer the awkward tired boy he had come to know. This was the same cold voice, the same icy glare, the same deadly aura as in the fight with Tsubaki.  
  
This wasn't Kuro. This was Sleepy Ash.  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth and closed it again, wanting to say something but not knowing what to say. Should he ask Kuro about it? Should he change the subject? Should he just keep quiet?  
  
"Kuro," he began, "I..."  
  
Kuro jumped to his feet so abruptly that he nearly knocked over his chair. "I'm gonna buy a drink," he muttered. "Be right back."  
  
Mahiru stared after him, a thousand questions buzzing through his head. What the hell had happened between Kuro and this mysterious seventh Servamp? Was that story the reason why he always got so gloomy whenever someone mentioned his old gang? Was Tsubaki connected to all this somehow? What was Kuro so desperately trying to hide?  
  
He frowned. "There's something he doesn't want us to know, isn't there?"  
  
"Well," Hugh leaned forward, his expression grave, "all of us here have witnessed what happened between them. So... I suppose he just doesn't want _you_ to know."  
  
Before Mahiru could think about the full meaning of Hugh's words, let alone answer, another voice joined the conversation.  
  
"Big brother Mahiru? Haven't seen ya in awhile!"  
  
Mahiru turned around to find himself looking at a familiar face. "Tetsu!" he greeted his old friend and underclassman. "So you actually made it here, huh? Sorry, if I'd known I would've greeted you earlier!"  
  
"It's fine, I wanted to surprise you y'know." Tetsu gave a casual shrug. "I just couldn't find you and- huh?" His eyes widened as his gaze locked onto a smaller figure sitting across from Mahiru. " _Hugh?_ "  
  
The senior smiled. "How many years has it been, Tetsu?"  
  
"I dunno, two or three-ish? I'm bad with that kinda stuff."  
  
Mahiru looked back and forth between them in surprise. "You guys know each other?"  
  
"We are old friends," Hugh answered, "but we haven't seen each other in several years. Quite the coincidence that we should stumble upon each other again here, isn't it?" He gave Mahiru a curious look. "What about you?"  
  
"Oh, we used to go to the same middle school." Upon seeing the expression of thinly veiled curiosity on Misono's face, he added, "I'm a year above him."  
  
Misono almost choked on his drink. "What the hell are you talking about, bastard?" He pointed an accusing finger at Tetsu, who blinked in surprise. "There's no way _you're_ a freshman! Stop messing around!"  
  
"Uh... but I really am?" Poor Tetsu sounded just as baffled as he probably felt. "I'm turning sixteen soon though."  
  
Misono scrunched up his face in disbelief but ultimately decided to drop the subject. "What's your name, anyway? Introduce yourself, freshman."  
  
"Uh... I'm Sendagaya Tetsu." He eyed Misono with curiosity. "And you are?"  
  
Misono scoffed. "It says a lot about you that you don't know who I am." He straightened his back and folded his arms. "My name is Alicein Misono, second year."  
  
"You're a year above me?" Now it was Tetsu's turn to be surprised. "Wouldn't have guessed that. Well, nice to meet you, Misono-senpai."  
  
Silence.  
  
Misono's eyes grew wider and wider. A bright red blush spread over his face. The word _senpai_ resonated through his head, over and over and over.  
  
The flabbergasted expression disappeared and was replaced by an overly confident smirk. "Nice to meet _you_ too, Sendagaya," he said, proudly raising his head and immediately growing by several inches. "You know, if there's anything you ever need help with, feel free to come to me. As your _senpai_ , I'm _sure_ I can do something for you."  
  
Mahiru cringed inwardly. Kuro turned away and mumbled something that sounded very much like "can't deal." Lily chuckled nervously. "I'm afraid I'll have to stop him before this ends in disaster," he whispered to Hugh.  
  
Tetsu, however, didn't seem to mind. "Okay. Cool," he said with a look of surprise and slight happiness on his face. "Thanks, senpai."  
  
Misono's smile grew even wider as he made a dismissive gesture. "Think nothing of it."  
  
"You know, Misono," Lily joined into the conversation, "you don't have to try so hard to appear cool. Sorry, Tetsu-kun," he added, turning to Tetsu. "He was homeschooled until last year, so he's not used to being called senpai yet."  
  
"Shut up, Lily! Stop blabbing about my personal business like that, you bastard! Nobody asked you!"  
  
Just when it looked like a fight was about to break out, Hugh interrupted the scene. "Actually, should we not consider including Tetsu into our plan, whatever it will be? He's too strong an ally to pass up."  
  
Tetsu gave him a questioning look. "Plan?"  
  
So they told him.  
  
\---  
  
"So what was that meeting for?" Kuro asked as Mahiru dragged him back to class. "Just agreeing that we're gonna work together if anything happens?"  
  
Mahiru gave him an irritated look. "Well, we don't even know what exactly Tsubaki is up to or how many people he's working with! We need to investigate before we can come up with a real plan!"  
  
" _Mahiru?!_ What the hell, man!"  
  
They spun around to find Ryuusei stomping towards them, Koyuki and Sakuya in tow. "Where were you during lunch? We were waiting for you!"  
  
"Yeah, we were all pretty worried," Koyuki added. "Ryuu kept trying to call you, and Sakuya has sent you at least two hundred texts. What have you been doing? Why was your phone turned off?"  
  
Mahiru swallowed. What should he tell them? The truth? A lie? Should he say that he was working with a former gang to fight Tsubaki? Should he... should he drag them into it? Or should he betray their trust and make something up about committee duties? Should he tell them part of the truth and hope they didn't ask for the rest? What should he say?  
  
What should he do?  
  
"I, uh... sorry, guys." He smiled sheepishly. "Something's sorta come up at the last minute and I had to take care of it, and then I ran into an underclassman from middle school and... well, don't know where the time went. Stuff like that happens sometimes."  
  
There. Not really a lie.  
  
Koyuki nodded and sighed with relief. Ryuusei tried to frown at Mahiru but failed to hide his grin. "Dude, at least tell us about it next time, 'kay? We all know you're a busy man, Mr. Class Rep."  
  
He and Koyuki laughed and walked ahead. Mahiru and Kuro remained behind, along with Sakuya.  
  
Mahiru looked at his best friend, who seemed unusually serious. There was a slight frown on his face that he seemed to try and hide from Mahiru, but his eyes were cold as he glared daggers at Kuro. The delinquent didn't seem to care, staring in the opposite direction with his hands in his pockets.  
  
For a minute neither of them said a word. Students passed them, laughing and talking, but they were just background noise.  
  
"Hey..." Sakuya turned and looked straight into Mahiru's eyes. "You... you're not hiding anything from us, are you?"  
  
A stab of guilt shot through Mahiru's chest. Having to lie in his oldest and best friend's face like that... for a minute he didn't think he could take it.  
  
He pushed the feeling down and smiled. "No, why?"  
  
"Look... we're your friends, okay? So, like... if anything happens... you can tell us everything. You know that, right?"  
  
Another fake smile. "Sure."  
  
Sakuya hesitated for a moment but finally returned the smile and walked on ahead, heading towards the classroom. Mahiru gazed after him, a pained look in his eyes. _Sorry, Sakuya. I hate to lie to you, but... just this once it's necessary. I don't want you to get caught up in all this. Who knows what Tsubaki might do. What you might do._  
  
Kuro glared at Sakuya's retreating back. "I don't like him."  
  
"You two don't get along, do you?" Mahiru sighed. "I kinda wish you would, but I guess we can't have everything. Some personalities just don't match, huh?"  
  
"That's not it." Kuro's eyes darkened. "There's something weird about him... suspicious, kinda."  
  
Mahiru let out another sigh, sounding irritated this time. "Look, just because you don't like Sakuya personally doesn't mean he's a bad guy, okay? I've known him since first grade, he's my best friend and a bit goofy but still pretty nice, there's never been anything wrong with him. You're imagining things." He nudged Kuro with his elbow. "Come on, let's get back to class or we'll be late."  
  
Kuro followed without protest, but he was far from convinced. His gut instinct was telling him that something was off about Watanuki Sakuya, and his gut instinct had never been wrong. Then again... he had also thought he'd never get along with Mahiru, and yet here he was. Was he really imagining things this time? And if he was... then why?  
  
It didn't have anything to do with Mahiru calling Sakuya his best friend, did it?  
  
He shook his head, pushing that thought to the very back of his mind. He wasn't jealous. Someone could have more than one friend, and perhaps even more than one best friend. No need to dislike people for that.  
  
Still, he figured he should better keep a watchful eye on Sakuya in the future.  
  
\---  
  
"School festival?"  
  
Mahiru looked at the homeroom teacher in surprise. "It's that soon already? I thought there was still some time."  
  
"There still is," the elderly lady replied, smiling, "but I thought we should organize it as early as possible, or it'll be stressful later. So, how is it? Can you organize it with the class, or do you need time to prepare?"  
  
"It's fine." Mahiru walked over to the board, facing his classmates. "Alright, everybody! Time to organize what our class is gonna do for the school festival, so who's got an idea?"  
  
An excited buzz of voices exploded all over the classroom. Mahiru listened intently but didn't understand a word.  
  
"Shut up," he yelled after awhile, "shut up! Take turns talking! And no interrupting!"  
  
The entire class went silent in a split second. For a moment it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone looked at each other questioningly, wondering who should talk first.  
  
Finally Sakuya raised his hand. "Guys, guys, let's put up a play!"  
  
The suggestion was met with excitement and cheering. A dozen voices spoke up, making suggestions and plans and thinking of a million different ideas. Mahiru smiled at the class and wrote _play_ on the board.  
  
"Hey everyone, I hate to ruin the fun," Ryuusei finally spoke up, "but 2-A's already doing a play, so that's not an option. And there's the drama club too, so..."  
  
A collective groan went through the classroom. Mahiru turned back to the board and crossed out _play_ with a sigh. Sakuya pulled a face. "Hey, Ryuu, was that necessary? If you hadn't said that we could've had rival plays! I was so looking forward to playing the lead..."  
  
"Like anyone would let _you_ have the lead role!" Misono snapped at him, turning around in his seat. "If you want to act that badly, go to the drama club, idiot."  
  
"Wow, you're so smart, Idiot Hair! I totally didn't know that before!"  
  
Mahiru threw a slightly envious look at Kuro, who was still fast asleep on his desk as usual and didn't notice any of the drama going on around him. It was moments like this when he got annoyed with his position as class representative, but hey, he had volunteered for it, right? So he had to deal with the consequences too.  
  
"Sakuya, Misono, for the millionth time, shut up and take your grade school fight somewhere else! Everybody, don't get too disappointed! Who else has an idea? Come on!"  
  
While all the members of 2-B racked their brains for a new concept, Sakuya's eyes flashed with inspiration and he raised his hand again. "I know!" He pulled his spookiest face and turned to look at his classmates. "Let's do a haunted house!"  
  
He was met with a chorus of "Hell no."  
  
"Why not? It'll be fun!" Sakuya folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. "You guys are so boring. Mahiru-sama, back me up!"  
  
"Sorry, Sakuya, but no can do." Mahiru was starting to have a slight headache, and from the looks of it it would probably grow into a full-blown migraine before this discussion was over for good. "I can really understand why nobody in here trusts _you_ with a haunted house. And don't call me Mahiru-sama!"  
  
They collected and discussed several more ideas, but the class didn't really seem happy with any of them. Mahiru still wrote all of them down on the board. If they couldn't come up with the ideal solution, fine. They'd probably have to have a vote.  
  
Mahiru watched as the three inseparable girls in the second row stuck their heads together, whispering, and finally parted and raised their hands. "Yeah?" he asked. "Any more suggestions?"  
  
The three briefly looked at each other to determine who should speak up, then ended up talking in unison. "How about a café?"  
  
A few exaggerated yawns came from different corners of the classroom. Somebody hooted "Booooring!" and another added, "That's what everybody does! Can't we do something cooler?"  
  
"Actually," Mahiru answered, "that sounds like the first idea today that doesn't scream total disaster. A café is simple and good and an easy way to earn a lot of money. And don't underestimate the workload!"  
  
Ryuusei looked at him and grinned. "I'd be cool with it, but only if it's a maid café."  
  
The boys cheered, and the girls shot icy glares at them. "Keep dreaming, perverts!"  
  
Mahiru was just about to scold everyone when Koyuki spoke up. "A-Actually, um, that's a really good idea! At the core, you know. But then everyone has to dress up, not just the girls, okay?"  
  
Everyone fell silent to look at him, and Koyuki continued. "I mean, then it would still be a café, but it also has some aspects of a play, like the costumes and stuff, we could even choose a theme... Does that sound good to you?"  
  
Mahiru threw a glance at his classmates and didn't have to ask to know the answer. Twenty-eight pairs of shiny eyes returned his gaze, glimmering with excitement and brimming with visions and ideas. He smiled.  
  
"Then I guess that settles it," he said, crossing out all the other suggestions on the list. "Now let's talk about who does what task. Somebody do me a favor and wake Kuro up."  
  
He rolled up his sleeves, feeling right back in his element. "Let's start working on our cosplay café."  
  
\---  
  
"Okay," Kuro said, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the sleepiness. "So what do I have to do?"  
  
"You," Mahiru answered, double checking his to-do list as he spoke, "will be one of the waiters, like most people. Meaning you'll have to wear a costume and take orders and bring people what they ordered. It's simple enough."  
  
Kuro groaned and buried his head in his arms. "What a pain... don't wanna."  
  
"Shut up, you have to do something! And if you wanna choose your task yourself, how about you don't snooze through the entire class?"  
  
"You coulda woken me up."  
  
"Well, I asked the others to but... they didn't. Looks like they were scared." Mahiru sighed. Getting the others to stop being afraid of Kuro was going to be a long and complicated task, wasn't it? "And then I tried, but you were so fast asleep and we were running out of time, I had to leave you alone in the end. But have you tried not sleeping in class?"  
  
"Class is boring and I was tired. Problem?"  
  
"Big problem! I won't help you if you fail any exams, got that? Go get your notes from someone else if you ever want to study!"  
  
"Who says I wanna study?"  
  
"...Nevermind. Anyway, you have to be optimistic about being a waiter!" Mahiru returned to the original subject. "You'll get to wear a cute costume, and all you'll have to do is talk to people and bring them what they want. It's mostly walking and talking, really. Not much that can go wrong. And if there's a problem, I'll be in the kitchen right next door, so don't worry." He gave Kuro an encouraging smile.  
  
Of course, those weren't the main reasons why Mahiru had decided to make Kuro a waiter. If he had to interact with people, he'd get the chance to prove himself, to show everyone that he was actually a nice person and not at all scary or intimidating. Maybe he'd become more popular. Maybe he'd even make friends by working together with the others.  
  
Maybe... he'd be less lonely.  
  
Kuro really, really didn't want to do this. He hated talking to people, let alone being nice to them. He'd probably look like a walking disaster in any kind of costume. He was clumsy and awkward and would probably drop a million plates. It was bound to end in a catastrophe.  
  
But... Mahiru seemed to place his hopes in him. He seemed to believe in him, to trust that he could do this, and Kuro didn't want to betray that trust. Not when Mahiru was right there, smiling that encouraging smile that somehow filled Kuro with hope. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Maybe things would somehow work out and not go horribly wrong for once.  
  
Fine.  
  
"If you insist," he said, shrugging. "Guess I'll give it a try."


	6. Murphy's Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a waiter was a lot of things, but easy most definitely wasn't one of them.

"So..." Kuro blinked at his reflection in the mirror and scratched the back of his head, "why do I have to wear these?"  
  
Mahiru turned around to look at him and barely suppressed a snort. Kuro was wearing a headband with a pair of marvelously fluffy black cat ears, making him resemble a very tired and awkward kitten. A kitten with lopsided ears, because the headband wouldn't quite fit over his head and kept slipping to one side.  
  
He looked ridiculous.  
  
Still forcing himself not to giggle, Mahiru answered, "No idea. Have you tried asking the girls from the costuming team?"  
  
Kuro just shrugged. "I tried, but they ran away as soon as they saw me."  
  
"Have you tried not looking like you're about to ask them for cash or something?" Mahiru sighed. "Try smiling. Trust me, it helps."  
  
"I suck at forcing smiles..."  
  
"Geez..." Mahiru rolled his eyes at everyone, Kuro and the others alike. They were three days into the preparations and everyone was just so _slow_. If there was anything that could be made more complicated it had been made as complicated as possible, debated over approximately nineteen times each, and there had been so many changes of plans that soon nobody had a clue what they were supposed to be doing. And of course Mahiru was the one stuck sorting that whole mess out when really all he wanted was to do his part of the task in peace, test some recipes and help the rest of the cooking team. He felt like an underpaid babysitter.  
  
Well, it couldn't be helped.  
  
He shot a regretful look at the near-finished cookies baking in the oven. Five more minutes, and they would have been done. He really hoped that he'd talk things out with the costuming girls in time, but he could never be too careful.  
  
"Keep an eye on the cookies," he told Kuro as he walked out of the home economics room in search of the others. "They'll be done in five minutes, so take them out if I'm not back by then, okay? And no snacking!"  
  
His eyes scanned over the hallway, taking in all the busy students swarming the place like ants, until he found his target. The three girls in charge of the costumes, the very same ones who had proposed setting up a café in the first place, were busy debating with some boys who looked none too happy with their intended outfits; Mahiru heard raised voices, and although he couldn't quite catch the words, one look at the boys' costumes was enough to know why they looked so mad.  
  
"Hey," he interrupted their little argument, "sorry to butt in like that, but can I have a quick word with you guys?"  
  
One of the girls opened her mouth to reply, but the other two quickly covered it, faked a smile and nodded. "Sure!" Turning to their friend, they whispered, "Idiot! Not even Sleepy Ash says no to Mahiru-sama!"  
  
Mahiru decided to ignore the fact that people seemed to have started seeing him as some sort of superhuman being and got straight to the point. "Can't you do something about Kuro's costume? The headband doesn't really fit and keeps slipping to the side."  
  
"Really? Don't know about that... Ask Suzu, she picked it."  
  
Suzuhara shot a disappointed look at her friend and turned back to Mahiru, carefully avoiding his gaze. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered. "It's just... we had a bit of a hard time finding anything his size... and we could have made something ourselves but we would have had to take his measurements a-and he's so scary and, and..."  
  
Mahiru sighed again. People being this afraid of Kuro was seriously getting annoying. Did they even see him as a person, a normal human being? Or was he some kind of monster to them, a supernatural creature of the night that was out for people's blood? It wasn't fair. Kuro was so much more than that. He deserved so much better. Why was he the only one who could see that?  
  
"Look," he said, struggling to keep his patience but still feeling pity for the intimidated girl in front of him, "I'll talk to him for you, and then you can take his measurements and create something that actually fits him and doesn't keep getting in the way. I promise he won't rip your heads off or anything. And if you need help with sewing, just ask. Okay?"  
  
The girls looked at him like they had just seen an angel. "Thank you so much!"  
  
"No prob." He gave them a small smile that only grew wider as the image of awkward cat-eared Kuro appeared in his head. "It's a shame those ears don't fit though. They look pretty funny."  
  
Kuro... cat ears... wait a second.  
  
The cookies!  
  
Cursing under his breath, he rushed back to the home economics room, half expecting to smell something burned at every turn. Of course he had trusted Kuro with the cookies, but he still knew nothing whatsoever about cooking or baking. What if he had tried to take them out but not managed for some reason? What if he didn't know how to turn off the oven? What if...?  
  
He darted in through the door to find Kuro standing right where he had left him. The oven was empty and turned off, but there were no cookies anywhere.  
  
Turning this way and that, he scanned the room, but the cookies were still nowhere to be seen.  
  
What the hell. An entire tray of cookies couldn't just vanish into thin air, right?  
  
...Right?  
  
"Kuro!" he shouted, a dark sense of foreboding creeping over him. "Where are the cookies?"  
  
His classmate adjusted his lopsided cat ears for the millionth time that day and continued to look at his increasingly ridiculous reflection in the mirror. "What cookies?"  
  
"What do you mean, what cookies? The ones I asked you to take out of the oven, duh! They're not in there, so where are they? If you didn't take them out, then who did?"  
  
Kuro scratched the back of his head and finally turned around to look at Mahiru. "Ah, you caught me... well, it was worth a try." He gestured to an empty tray leaning against the side of the wall. "I did take them out, yeah."  
  
One thing added to the other in Mahiru's mind as the gears of his brain started turning. Their movement increased in speed as he fully grasped the situation, and one after another they formed four words.  
  
Oh.  
  
No.  
  
He.  
  
Didn't.  
  
" _Kuro!_ " he yelled, his face red with shock and rage. "Did you seriously eat the _entire_ tray of cookies? What did I say to you about not snacking? I was planning to give them to everyone and have them test the taste, dammit! And I wanted some too! Didn't you think about other people at all?"  
  
"Um..." Kuro looked a bit sheepish as he held out a plate with a handful of cookies, offering them to Mahiru. "I actually left some for ya."  
  
Mahiru blinked, unsure if he should laugh or cry. "Those are _four_ cookies," he heard himself say, shaking his head in disbelief. "How did you even manage to eat the entire rest in that short time?"  
  
"They were small." Kuro stretched out his arm, shoving the plate into Mahiru's hands. "So are you gonna try 'em or not?"  
  
Not knowing what else to say, Mahiru grabbed the plate and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. At least the cookies tasted good; they were nice and simple and just the right amount of sweet, exactly the way he liked them best. It was a shame most of them were already gone thanks to a certain someone who was now watching him with curiosity.  
  
"By the way," he asked through another mouthful, "how did you like them?"  
  
"Kinda plain." Kuro had finally grown tired of his cat-eared headband and flung it into the nearest corner. "Like everything you make."  
  
"Then why did you eat _all_ of them?"  
  
"I had to make sure they were all plain."  
  
"If you think they're plain, then don't eat so many! Geez! I'm not making them to suit your junk food-spoiled taste anyway!"  
  
Kuro turned away to retrieve his runaway headband. Once again he had only told Mahiru half the truth. The cookies tasted plain, yes; they were definitely more simple than the food he usually ate, but they definitely didn't taste bland. Or any kind of bad, for that matter. Kuro couldn't quite explain why, but there was a certain warmth to them that had nothing to do with them coming straight out of the oven. Their taste warmed him from the inside, and as soon as he had taken one bite he hadn't been able to stop eating. He'd never meant to eat all of them, but this sweetness, this warmth, this kindness just felt so... addictive. Those cookies had been made with love, and he could feel that with every bite.  
  
...Apparently those cookies also had the side effect of turning him into a complete sap.  
  
What a pain.  
  
He put those irritating cat ears back on and shuffled out of the room, hoping that no one would mind if he snuck out for a minute or twenty. It wasn't like his help was that badly needed, anyway.  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya lit up the screen of his phone to find at least a dozen new texts, as well as seven missed calls. He didn't even have to look at his call history to know three things immediately.  
  
One, the texts and calls all came from the same person. Two, that person was Tsubaki.  
  
Three, reading through it all was about to be a major pain in the neck.  
  
He walked out of the classroom and to an abandoned part of the hallway where nobody would disturb him and prepared for the worst.  
  
The first text had been sent about an hour ago. _Sakuya, I'm bored,_ it read. _Tell me something interesting!_  
  
It had been followed up by a second message ten minutes later: _SAKUYA SAKUYA SAKUYA I just heard the funniest joke! Want to hear it?!_  
  
Without waiting for a reply, there had been three more texts in short succession.  
  
 _What did the shoes say to the pants?_  
  
 _SUP, BRITCHES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_  
  
 _Boring._  
  
Sakuya rolled his eyes at the awful joke but couldn't help cracking a small grin. Shaking his head at Tsubaki's spam, he scrolled further down.  
  
Two minutes after the last text. _Sakuya! Knock knock! ;)_  
  
Three more minutes later. _Sakuya? Why aren't you replying?_  
  
Another one sent immediately afterwards. _Is something wrong?! O.O_  
  
Five minutes later. _I'm calling you now!_  
  
Missed calls number one, two and three.  
  
 _SAAAAKUYAAAA!_  
  
Missed calls number four and five.  
  
 _Hello from the other side, I must have called a thousand times..._  
  
 _Why aren't you answering? Are you mad at me?_  
  
 _You're mad, right? I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry!_  
  
Missed calls number six and seven.  
  
 _Sakuya, I apologized, now pick up already! :(_  
  
 _You don't like me anymore! Is that it? Nobody likes me TT_TT_  
  
There were no more messages after that, but that was hardly surprising, seeing as the last one must have arrived mere seconds before Sakuya had lit up his phone. Looking left and right to make sure nobody was watching, Sakuya sighed and typed a quick reply. _i was busy okay? if ur that bored pay attention in class._  
  
He was just about to hit Send when another thought struck him, and he added another sentence. _and just fyi, i do still like you._  
  
That wasn't even a lie. Tsubaki was getting on his last nerve, but he was still his friend, and always would be. Why, it was thanks to him that he was still here, alive and kicking and rolling his eyes at the senior's awful jokes. Sakuya owed him big time. He owed him his life, and no matter how annoying Tsubaki got he'd never forget it.  
  
He just hoped Mahiru wouldn't find out. What would his best friend say if he knew he was friends with an infamous troublemaker?  
  
What would Mahiru say if he found out he was part of a gang?  
  
He shook his head and headed back to the classroom. _Don't think about it,_ he told himself.  
  
It wasn't like Mahiru was going to find out anyway.  
  
\---  
  
Being a waiter was a lot of things, but easy most definitely wasn't one of them.  
  
They were still practicing the whole deal and Kuro already felt like a complete and utter catastrophe. He couldn't remember two things at the same time, kept confusing orders, constantly brought the wrong food and drinks to the wrong table, couldn't coordinate with the others and, adding insult to injury, he was acting like the greatest klutz in the history of the universe. He tripped over chairs, tables and his own feet. He spilled drinks over everyone including himself. He dropped complicated desserts from plates. He dropped the plates themselves, knocked over vases, ruined the furniture. And all he wanted was to crawl into a hole and disappear.  
  
The others weren't helping. They were still visibly terrified of him; the other waiters kept avoiding him, the kitchen squad kept hurriedly shoving orders in his hands to get him out as fast as possible, the guests never waved him over and if they did, they would mumble and stutter and avoid his eyes while messing up their own order and changing their minds a million times. It was another reminder that Kuro didn't belong here, that he was different and intimidating and not capable of doing a single useful thing even when he tried.  
  
He wanted to leave. He so wanted to leave.  
  
If only Mahiru was here. His classmate would probably yell at him for screwing up, of course, but he'd also help him. He'd show him how to carry the plates without dropping them, he'd teach him a trick for remembering the guests' orders, and maybe he'd even manage to teach him how to walk from table to table without tripping over his own feet and knocking stuff over. Kuro just knew that he'd feel a lot better if he just knew that Mahiru was near, that there was someone he could go to, someone he could rely on a little if things got too hard.  
  
But Mahiru wasn't here, not now. He'd been called away by some people from his committee or student council or some other stupid and unnecessary thing he had something to do with and not returned since. And Kuro was left here, alone, surrounded by classmates who suspected and feared him.  
  
Of course, those stupid cat ears were of no help whatsoever.  
  
He adjusted the headband for what felt like the millionth time that day and pretended everything was normal. What had happened to his costume? The costuming girls had taken his measurements the other day - well, to be precise, they had tried but had been so nervous and scared that Mahiru had ended up doing it himself, again. He knew making a costume took its time, but they had fairly little time left and he needed one before the big day of the festival. What on earth was taking them so long?  
  
There was no way in hell he'd wear those lame cat ears to the festival. They looked cute all right, but they so didn't fit.  
  
His train of thought was interrupted by a fit of hysterical laughter coming from the classroom door. "What the hell! Big brother, you look ridiculous!"  
  
Kuro closed his eyes and sighed. _Please don't let this be who I think it is._  
  
He turned around to find that it was exactly who he had thought it was. Not that it was surprising. He'd know that voice anywhere, anytime.  
  
The only surprising thing was that he had bothered to visit him.  
  
Hyde.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he greeted his former gang member. "Go back to your class."  
  
"Go back to my class? That's so rude, big brother!" Hyde pouted and walked right into the classroom like he owned the place. "I was so curious, you know? And after hearing that you're a waiter, I just had to see it for myself! You look so out of place!"  
  
Kuro glared at him, but Hyde seemed totally oblivious. "So you're rehearsing right now? Nice! Can I make reservations already? I'd like a table for two- _ouch!_ "  
  
He was interrupted by a foot coming into sudden contact with his bottom. "Ow!" he howled, rubbing his behind as he turned around to face the boy who had just followed him into the classroom and was now scowling like he was about to murder someone. "Angel-chan, so rude! I was just about to reserve a table for the two of us, you know? With candles and everything!"  
  
The other boy scoffed, although his cheeks tinted a slightly pinkish hue. "Drop the cheesy act, stupid rat," he snapped. "Don't go wandering off all the time!"  
  
Hyde pouted at him as people began to stare at the duo and the first ones rose from their tables or walked over from all corners of the room to crowd around the two boys. "It's Licht!" Kuro heard one of the girls whisper, followed by, "He's even hotter up close!"  
  
The piano prodigy and school idol ignored them all like a professional, accustomed to the commotion he caused everywhere he went. Right now, his focus was solely on his classmate, who was wearing a fancy over-the-top costume and makeup and had obviously just wandered off during a theater rehearsal break to get on Kuro's nerves.  
  
"You can't make reservations yet," he told Hyde sharply, hoping this would be enough to finally get rid of this guy and his idol friend. "Now get outta here."  
  
Of course, it wasn't enough to chase Hyde off. "Seriously?" he exclaimed, exaggerated disappointment written all over his face. The expression only lasted for a moment before his eyes lit up with hope again, kindled by a thought that had just crossed his mind. "But that means we'll be able to do it later, right? And I can ask for candles and rose petals too, ri-"  
  
He was interrupted by another kick to the face that sent him flying backwards. Kuro dodged the attack at the last moment, and Hyde went crashing into one of the tables, knocking over a vase, pulling down the tablecloth and sending several plates and cups crashing down, where they shattered into a million shards.  
  
Hyde lay amidst the mess, groaning in pain and rubbing his bruised face. He was covered in cookie crumbs, hot chocolate and cheap plastic flowers, and the content of another cup of hot chocolate pooled beneath his back, making it look like he was bleeding. The entirety of 2-B gaped at the scene of destruction, unable to utter a word or process what they should do. Licht pretended he had nothing to do with the whole thing and studied the menu.  
  
And Kuro was stuck in the middle of it all, avoiding people's stares and really, really wanting to go home.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?"  
  
Kuro wasn't sure if he was insanely happy or insanely horrified when he heard a familiar voice coming from the door. Mahiru! Mahiru was back! He would be furious and scold them all and make them all feel like complete idiots, but at least it would be fine. He'd know what to do. He'd sort this whole mess out and find a way to get rid of Hyde and Licht, and things would be fine again.  
  
A wave of relief washed over Kuro as the class finally turned away from him to face Mahiru, who hurriedly made his way through the crowd, making a beeline for the ruined table. "For crying out loud!" he shouted at no one in particular. "I leave for half an hour and _this_ is what I come back to? What on earth were you all doing while I wasn't here?" He reached out a hand to help Hyde up and turned back to the class. "What are you still standing around and staring for? Get a broom and a mop and clean up this mess! Put the table and chairs back up! Go wash the tablecloth and get replacement plates and cups! Hurry up already!"  
  
Everyone straightened as shame spread all over their faces, and feet hurried in every direction to do as Mahiru had told them. Kuro remained in his place with Hyde, Licht and Mahiru, wondering if he should do something but unsure of what to do.  
  
Mahiru folded his arms and glanced from one to the other. "You guys are from 2-A, right?" he asked Licht and Hyde. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you, like, help with your own preparations or something?"  
  
"We did!" Hyde protested. "We just had a short break, so I thought I'd see how big brother is faring!" His expression darkened as a smirk crossed his features. "After all, we haven't seen each other in ages. And he hasn't changed one bit."  
  
Mahiru shuddered. There it was again, that feeling of facing a monster, someone who carried the intent to kill. Hatred. Enmity. The ever-cheerful Hyde was gone and had been replaced by a creature of the night, someone whose energetic behavior was nothing but an obvious front to hide the darker emotions behind it.  
  
And... there was something else he had noticed. "You just called Kuro 'big brother'... are you... a former Servamp?"  
  
"That's a long story!" Hyde chirped, the murderous intent withdrawing into a simple spark of malice that was still pointed right at Kuro. "Why don't you ask big brother about it instead? I'm sure he'd love to tell you everything!"  
  
Mahiru turned to Kuro and immediately took a step back. The delinquent's red eyes were glowing with anger, hot coals in a grim face that seemed to have frozen to ice. His fists were clenched by his sides, but he said nothing.  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru swallowed the fear that had instinctively grabbed his heart and stepped forward again, into his classmate's line of sight. "What's wrong? Was whatever happened that bad?"  
  
Just for a split second their eyes met, and Mahiru could see the smoldering fire in Kuro's eyes dim and disappear, leaving nothing but guilt and sadness behind. The delinquent lowered his gaze, avoiding Mahiru's eyes, still not saying anything.  
  
Mahiru was dying to know. He wanted to know what it was everyone but him seemed to know about, what incident everyone kept referring to, why Kuro and Hyde had fallen out and why the Servamps had parted ways. He wanted to hear the story. Now.  
  
But... he couldn't do that to Kuro. Kuro obviously felt guilty about whatever had happened back then. He was afraid of telling him, afraid of letting him know. Was he afraid of being judged? Afraid of dragging Mahiru into something? He could only guess.  
  
"It's fine," he said with a smile. "I won't ask. If you feel ready to talk about it, just tell me."  
  
Kuro's eyes widened as he looked at Mahiru again, shock and surprise and a hint of joy glimmering in them. "Mahiru..." he said softly, unable to utter any more words.  
  
He didn't have to. That one word was more than enough to convey how glad he was that Mahiru had defused the situation, that he hadn't insisted on hearing the story, that he had suppressed his curiosity. And Mahiru was just as glad. One look at Kuro's face told him that he had done the right thing. If it meant seeing that expression of wonder and slight, nervous, hopeful happiness again, he'd do it again anytime.  
  
"Look at them, Lichtan! Why can't you look at me like that too?" Hyde grinned and narrowly dodged a kick from the idol. "Whoa, so violent! But that's part of your angelic coolness, right? Super cool Angel-chan..."  
  
He couldn't avoid the next kick that sent him crashing into another chair, knocking it over but thankfully not breaking anything this time. "Shut your stinkin' mouth, stupid rat!" Licht snapped at him. "Get the hell back to rehearsal already!"  
  
Hyde scrambled back to his feet and pouted, not bothering to set the chair back up while he was at it. "I'm not going till you're going!"  
  
"Do I look like I wanna see your stupid face any longer? Get back to rehearsal, moron. I'm still staying."  
  
"Nobody's staying anywhere!"  
  
Licht and Hyde practically jumped as they spun towards the door to face the owner of the new voice that had just joined the fray. Mahiru recognized him immediately. Rosen Crantz, language and music teacher and the unofficial Licht handler. Coincidentally he also happened to be 2-A's homeroom teacher.  
  
"So that's where you two are! Where have you been? The break has been over for more than ten minutes!" He walked up to the pair without hesitation while Licht and Hyde seemed to shrink with every step he took towards them. "How many times do I have to tell you, don't go wandering off all the time! If it was just the two of you I wouldn't mind so much, but the entire class is relying on you, do you even understand that? You're letting them all down and- _mais qu'est-ce qui s'est passé, au bon Dieu?!_ "  
  
His eyes widened with shock as they came to rest on the complete and utter mess they had created earlier. The color of his face turned to white and then dark red in a matter of seconds.  
  
"What on earth happened here?" He turned to Mahiru and Kuro. "Did these two do that?"  
  
They had no choice but to nod.  
  
"Did you two fight again? At your age, too! You should be ashamed of you both!" Facing Licht, he continued, "I know Hyde can be childish sometimes, but at least you should be mature enough not to let him provoke you! When will you finally get that?"  
  
Licht lowered his gaze and folded his arms like an unapologetic child who was being scolded by his parents. "He started it," he grumbled into the general direction of the floor. "Why should I change myself for him? It's his fault!"  
  
"I don't care who started it. You two will clean everything up this instant, and you'll pay for everything you broke! Got that?"  
  
Mahiru raised a hand to protest. "Um, that's not necessary," he began. "I just asked my classmates to-"  
  
"No, I insist," Crantz cut him off. "These two made the mess, so it's only fair that they make up for it too."  
  
He had nothing to reply to that. Licht and Hyde opened their mouths to protest in his stead, but Crantz wouldn't let them. "No objections! Get to work, or I won't bring any more melon and ham for you to snack on during rehearsal! _Allez hop!_ "  
  
Strangely enough, it worked like a charm.  
  
Mahiru and Kuro watched as Licht and Hyde got to work, still bickering and throwing insults at each other and getting in each other's way, but not daring to sabotage each other or start fighting openly while they were under their teacher's stern gaze. The members of 2-B, who had soon returned with the necessary equipment to clean up, gaped at the odd scene but quickly found themselves standing on the sides, watching and smirking from ear to ear. Two or three even snatched their phones to take pictures. Nobody made any attempt to provide the oddball duo with the equipment they had just brought. Mahiru understood their desire for payback, but he still walked up to everyone individually to gather brushes and mops, handing them to the unfortunate two who had just turned into the center of attention.  
  
Even with the equipment it took them awhile. Mahiru attempted to help them, but Crantz absolutely refused to let him do so much as move a finger, insisting that the ones who had caused the chaos should get rid of it on their own.  
  
Kuro watched the entire scene with a frown. There it was again, Mahiru's desire to help everyone, no matter how idiotic or rude they were acting or how troublesome it was to help. The desire that would probably get him into trouble someday, if not burn him out entirely. Nobody could always give one hundred and ten percent. Not even Shirota Mahiru.  
  
Wait. Since when was he that worried about him? What business was it of his if Mahiru overworked himself by helping anyone and everyone in sight, no matter if they wanted him to or not? He had nobody but himself to blame. Why should Kuro worry about someone who should know better and still decided to be an idiot?  
  
It wasn't like he owed it to Mahiru either. The class representative had helped him out before and he _was_ kind of nice when he wasn't being so pushy for a change, sure, but he was like that to everyone. It was just his personality, Kuro wasn't special to him or anything.  
  
So... why?  
  
Maybe... maybe it was because Mahiru was the first person in years who was nice and friendly and respectful to him without trembling in fear. Maybe it was because he treated Kuro as an equal, somebody worthy of kindness and support in spite of his flaws and weaknesses and his entire attitude. Maybe it was that warm, genuine smile he would occasionally direct at Kuro, a smile the delinquent never wanted to fade or break.  
  
Or maybe it was all of that. Mahiru's entire attitude, that kind-hearted, outgoing personality that made him who he was, the boy everyone gladly relied on, the boy one couldn't help but care about. And Kuro did care. After all, Mahiru was the closest thing he'd made to a friend in what seemed like forever, and even if his classmate never saw him as one, let alone called him one, Kuro would do his best to be a good friend to Mahiru. Well, as good as he could be, anyway.  
  
Today had been a catastrophe, and he was dreading the day of the festival more than ever. But Mahiru was there, Mahiru was relying on him, believed in him, trusted that he could do it. And do it he would, somehow. He'd manage.  
  
For Mahiru's sake. For his classmate's... no, wait.  
  
For his friend's sake.  
  
\---  
  
Easier said than done.  
  
The day of the festival had arrived soon, way too soon. Kuro had practiced and practiced, sometimes with the others, sometimes by himself, encouraged by Mahiru, but he still wasn't good enough. He still kept messing up orders. He still kept tripping over his feet and dropping things and spilling drinks and acting like a clumsy idiot, and now he'd have to humiliate himself in front of everyone.  
  
He wasn't ready.  
  
To make matters worse, he was _still_ stuck with those humiliatingly ill-fitting cat ears. He had no idea what on earth the costuming girls were doing or where on earth they had even disappeared to, but wasn't it kind of high time for them to give him his stupid costume already? Not to rush, but they were about to open. Oh great, now he was even using sarcasm while talking to himself in his head.  
  
What a pain.  
  
He took a deep breath and tried to get his wobbly, shaky knees to feel steady again, tried to suppress the fluttery nervousness in his stomach and the cold hand of fear that was grabbing his heart, making it race at a mile a minute to try and escape from its grip. He remembered Mahiru's smile, his encouraging words, and tried to borrow some of the class representative's optimism.  
  
It didn't work. Thinking of Mahiru just made him even more afraid. What if he was wrong? What if Kuro messed up spectacularly, no matter what his classmate kept telling him? Mahiru would be so disappointed.  
  
Kuro didn't even know why he cared about that so much. He was used to disappointing people, right? He'd been doing that for his entire life. So why did he care so much about disappointing that one person? Did that come with thinking of someone as a friend?  
  
"So that's where you are!"  
  
Kuro nearly jumped when Mahiru's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. The class representative was fully dressed for kitchen duty, his apron already dusted with a coat of flour. There was even some in his hair, and his sleeves were rolled up further than usual. _He really does look like a housewife,_ Kuro thought with a glint of amusement.  
  
Though really his situation was anything but amusing.  
  
"What are you doing in the courtyard all by yourself?" Mahiru somehow managed to look both annoyed and concerned at the same time. "You weren't planning to run off again and skip, were you?"  
  
"Nah." Kuro tried his best to look as calm as usual, hoping his voice wouldn't shake and betray him. "Just catching a breath of fresh air. Too many people in there."  
  
Mahiru's expression softened a little. "Are you nervous?"  
  
Busted.  
  
Kuro swallowed hard and did his best not to stare at Mahiru like a deer in the headlights, revealing just how exposed he felt. Was he that easy to see through, or was Mahiru psychic? How had he just managed to figure out the very weakness Kuro never wanted anyone to see?  
  
 _Keep calm, Kuro. It could just be a question, maybe he hasn't really figured you out. Just deal with this the way you always do._  
  
He put up his usual bored face, hoping that his voice would match the expression. "I just don't wanna do this... it's all such a pain."  
  
"Hey, a little more enthusiasm would be nice!"  
  
 _Checkmate, it worked._ Kuro felt himself relaxing at the familiar sight of Mahiru's annoyed face and the sound of his scolding voice. In fact, he found himself relaxing so much that he recovered his sense of humor. "Yay," he said in his usual emotionless voice.  
  
"What the hell, that's not even worth a 'you tried' star!"  
  
"Yay," Kuro said again in the same voice, half-heartedly waving his hands this time.  
  
"That's not what I meant!"  
  
Mahiru looked at Kuro and sighed. "Well, at least you're acting normal and not freaking yourself out or anything." The corners of his mouth turned upward, forming a small smile. "That's a relief."  
  
For a split second Kuro almost felt tempted to smile back. Even Mahiru's smaller smiles, while less bright and radiant, were still so amazingly, breathtakingly warm and genuine that Kuro could practically feel the warmth reaching out to him and spreading through his entire body, engulfing him in that simple, pleasant feeling he couldn't quite find a word for.  
  
He didn't smile back. No need to expose his vulnerability again, and no need to show Mahiru how much he cared for that simple smile. It would just seem creepy, or he would mess up and make things awkward. Not that he even knew how to convey his emotions in the first place.  
  
"So, did ya need anything?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Or did you just turn up here 'cause you missed me?"  
  
Mahiru threw a light punch at him. "The festival's about to start, moron! If we don't go back to the classroom right now, we'll be missing a waiter! Can't let the others down, right?"  
  
Kuro felt a slight twitch of nervousness again, but he swallowed it. "Can't deal," he grumbled, but he followed Mahiru back to the classroom anyway.  
  
After all, how bad could this possibly be?  
  
\---  
  
Very, very, _very_ bad.  
  
The first handful of guests had just walked in and Kuro's knees already felt like they were going to give way. No matter where he looked, he felt appraising, judging stares from all sides. He understood his classmates' fear, but... was it just him, or were even strangers afraid of him now?  
  
What should he do? Should he approach the guests or wait until someone motioned for him to come over? What should he even say? Which ones hadn't been taken care of by his classmates already? His mind felt completely blank. He felt stupid just standing there and staring off into nowhere, but what should he do?  
  
 _What on earth should he do?_  
  
Desperately trying to remember what he had learned, what he had practiced and repeated about a hundred times in class, he forced himself to move. _Just act nonchalant,_ he told himself. _Be nice. Walk up to the nearest table and..._  
  
"Oh, our drinks! Thank you very much, you're working hard!"  
  
Kuro stopped in his tracks and stared at the two strangers like a deer in the headlights as Sakuya walked past him, a tray with two cups in hand, and placed it down in front of them with a smile. "You're welcome! I'm happy you like our festival so far!"  
  
And off he was, already chatting with the guests at another table, and left Kuro standing in the middle of the room like a complete idiot.  
  
"Uh..." he stammered as the two guests at the table in front of him gave him a questioning look, "uh..." _Crap! Say something! Anything!_ "Do... you like... your drinks?"  
  
They blinked at him in confusion. "Um... they look pretty good...?"  
  
Kuro blushed with embarrassment and looked away, trying and failing to hide how utterly stupid he felt. _Moron, are you blind? They obviously haven't even tried their drinks yet. Smart move, me._  
  
"Yeah," he mumbled in the general direction of the table, "never mind." And off he went, as far away from this humiliation as he could, hurrying over to a different table where three middle school girls had just taken their seats and were studying the menu.  
  
 _Keep cool. Walk up to them and ask if they've made their choice already and if they need anything. Easy enough._  
  
Swallowing hard, he approached them directly. "What do you wa-" No, no, way too impolite. "Do you need anyth-" No, wait, way too general! "Have you... have you..." His voice sank into a disheartened mumble as he lowered his eyes. Damn it all, he couldn't do this. "Have you chosen yet?"  
  
The girls' eyes widened as they looked up at him, standing way too close to the table, expression gloomy, towering over all of them and casting a long shadow on the table. Two of them shrank back and hid behind the menu; the third one seemed determined not to back down, but even she looked visibly scared. "Uhm..." She giggled nervously. "A-Actually, we're not done choosing yet... right, girls?" They nodded. "We'll probably still take some time, so... I think we'll order later, thanks."  
  
Kuro got the hint and walked away, feeling like an even greater idiot. What on earth was he doing wrong? Well, what was he doing wrong _besides_ being a nervous wreck with a scary face and no communication skills? So it wasn't just his reputation at this school that made people fear him. He was just plain intimidating, a pathetic ex-delinquent who had spent so long avoiding people that he didn't know how to connect with them anymore. Why in the world had Mahiru chosen him to be a waiter? Why had he even _believed_ Kuro could ever do it?  
  
Sakuya casually walked over to the three girls who had just sent Kuro away and casually struck up a conversation with them, smiling and making silly jokes while taking their orders. And the girls seemed all too pleased with him, smiling back at him and batting their eyelashes and giggling and... and _flirting_. He had only been talking to them for a few minutes, and they were already flirting with him.  
  
Kuro found himself envying Sakuya, the way he effortlessly carried out all his tasks, the way he approached people without batting an eye and the way he won them over with ease, obviously enjoying himself. He was blessed with everything - social skills, good looks, a sense of humor, hands that could carry things without dropping them all over the place, and feet that didn't stumble and trip over themselves. No wonder everyone adored him.  
  
He shook off that thought. No need to be bitter about it, that just made him even more pathetic. _Just accept that some people have all the luck._  
  
A loud clamor of voices snapped him out of his grim thoughts. He barely had time to recognize them when four people strode right into the room, taking everything in with one glance.  
  
"Ah, what a nice place! I wonder if they have anything matcha flavored? Where would you like to sit, guys?"  
  
"Wherever you want to, young master! Just sitting at the table with you is already a great honor."  
  
"Tsubakyun, Tsubakyun, look, look! There's a table for four right there and it's freeeee! Let's sit there!"  
  
"Don't be so loud, Beru. You're embarrassing me."  
  
Kuro took a quick moment to curse his spectacularly bad luck. The four very people he wanted to see the least had gone and walked right into the café, and they didn't look like they were leaving anytime soon.  
  
Well, just pretend he hadn't seen them.  
  
Tsubaki and his companions took their seats without even being invited, taking up as much space as four people possibly could and cheerfully blocking the path to the table behind them. Spotting Sakuya, they smiled, made silly faces and waved.  
  
Sakuya had more than half a mind to ignore them, but knowing Tsubaki, he'd get offended and call his name and loudly blab about their friendship to anyone within a ten-mile radius. Nope, no way he'd risk that. Not after so many years of keeping it a secret from everyone, even his best friend.  
  
He plastered a visibly fake smile across his face and walked up to the table of four. "Didn't you guys read the sign? It says 'please wait to be seated.'"  
  
There was a series of overdramatic soap opera gasps as everyone looked at each other, comical surprise in Tsubaki and Berukia's eyes, genuine shock in Shamrock's, and a blank expression on Otogiri's face. "There was a sign like that?"  
  
Sakuya glowered at Tsubaki, trying his hardest not to slip out of his polite waiter role. "You saw it."  
  
The senior laughed. "So what if I did? I thought friends could maybe get some privilege..."  
  
He stopped talking as soon as he caught Sakuya's gaze. The boy's expression was stone-hard, icy cold and sharp as a blade, and his eyes screamed murder. "I'm not your friend when we're in public," he hissed, careful not to be heard by anyone besides the four at the table. "I thought we agreed on that."  
  
"You still don't like me..." Tsubaki's expression turned outright gloomy. "My heart is broken, Sakuya. Don't you have any compassion?"  
  
Sakuya rolled his eyes and said nothing.  
  
Otogiri met his gaze, and they exchanged a brief glance of shared suffering before she decided to end the awkward situation. "Can we have the menu, please?"  
  
Sakuya made a mental note to treat her to something later as he walked off. Nobody had heard anything. He'd managed to get away once more.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro was still busy pretending not to see the four unwanted guests when an all-too-familiar voice called him over. "Why, if that isn't big brother! Come over, we'd like to place our orders!"  
  
He felt tempted to ignore it. He really, really did.  
  
But... this was the first time today somebody actually called him to their table - no, the first time ever. He'd seemed awkward and unsociable the entire time, but at least nobody had minded because nobody had wanted him around and the café wasn't that full yet. If he didn't go over now that someone gave him the chance to prove himself... he might probably as well leave entirely.  
  
And then there was Mahiru. Mahiru, who kept believing that he could pull this off. Mahiru, who would probably want, no, expect him to follow, to ignore their mutual hatred for the day and try to be nice. Mahiru, who he really, _really_ didn't want to disappoint.  
  
What a pain.  
  
Bracing himself for the worst, he walked over to the one table he had meant to avoid at all costs.  
  
Part of him wanted to be openly hostile, but he restrained himself. Tsubaki wouldn't be stupid enough to pick a fight right here in public, or at least so he hoped. Being nice to Tsubaki of all people was a horrible pain, but probably not as much of a pain as a fight in front of everyone.  
  
"What would you like?" he asked, his tone and expression blank as usual but his voice cold, uninviting. _Sorry, Mahiru. I know you'd want me to be nicer but I suck at acting._  
  
"So cold, big brother!" Tsubaki made a shocked face that was all-too-quickly replaced by his usual ill-boding grin. "Isn't it your job to be nice to guests? Come on, say it again!"  
  
Kuro shot a murderous glare at him, feeling irritation flare up in his chest along with the urge to punch him in the face. This guy wasn't picking a fight; he'd been right about that. But it seemed like he was hell-bent on humiliating him.  
  
"What..." he said through gritted teeth, careful not to let his voice be heard by anyone else, "do... you... want?"  
  
"Let's see. I'd like, ah, where was it, where was it..." Tsubaki skimmed over the menu again, over and over and over and over, searching for something that either wasn't listed or was glaring him in the face without him noticing. His expression turned from hopeful to dejected in a matter of moments. "I can't find it anymore..."  
  
He stared at the menu for several more seconds for good measure. Kuro felt himself twitching with impatience when Tsubaki finally looked up. "You don't have anything with matcha, do you?"  
  
"No." Kuro fiddled with his notepad and pen, not sure if he should get bored and start doodling or use his pen to stab Tsubaki's throat and shut him up. The second option was starting to look increasingly tempting. "If you can't find what you were looking for, wanna choose something else? I'll be back when you've made up your mind."  
  
He turned to leave, to escape from this bastard before he actually did resort to violence, but Tsubaki wasn't about to let him escape. "Oh no, I'll just take a moment! You can stay, big brother."  
  
Kuro clenched his fists. Tsubaki's voice was innocent enough, but the look in his eyes betrayed him. There was a glint of mischief in his eyes, a murderous spark that made it painfully clear that he was up to no good. And Kuro couldn't even do anything about it. He was stuck here, in this role, forced to be nice to someone who was so clearly exploiting that.  
  
It was frustrating. Painfully, teeth-gratingly frustrating.  
  
"Hurry up," he snapped before he could stop himself.  
  
Tsubaki's eyes widened, as did his smirk, and Kuro immediately realized his mistake. The senior shrank back in his seat, an expression of fake panic plastered across his face, and clung onto Berukia. "Help!" he exclaimed so loudly that everyone in the room turned to stare at him. "Don't threaten me, big brother! I'm sorry! I'll do what you say, don't hurt me!"  
  
Kuro found at least a dozen pairs of eyes locking on him, glaring at him in fear. A few classmates backed away into the direction of the kitchen, ready to call for help if it was necessary. Hushed whispers arose on every table. Fingers were pointed at Kuro.  
  
He felt exposed.  
  
Exposed and humiliated.  
  
Again.  
  
He gritted his teeth, trying to bear with it, trying to pretend everything was fine. After all, this was nothing new to him. This happened every damn day. This was normal. He should really be used to it by now.  
  
"Just... hurry up and take your pick already," he mumbled, wishing he could crawl into a hole in the ground and hide there forever. "How hard can it be?"  
  
"Mmm..." Tsubaki furrowed his brows, staring at the menu like he wanted to bore a hole in it with his eyes. "I think... ah, I'm not sure yet..." He let out a quick laugh. "Do you have any recommendations, big brother?"  
  
 _Recommendations..._ Kuro immediately found himself thinking of Mahiru's cookies. Their simple but beautiful taste, the warmth they filled him with, the kindness he could taste with every bite. It was so strange - he had tried his way through all the dishes on the menu, and under normal circumstances there would have been many that were more to his liking, sweeter, more fancy. But for some reason they hadn't left as much of an impact on him. There was just something they all lacked, something that kept them from becoming his favorites.  
  
"I'd pick the cookies," he said flatly.  
  
Wait - what was he saying? There was no way Tsubaki and his idiot friends could possibly feel the love that had been put into those cookies. And even if they could... they were the last people he wanted to feel it. They... they didn't deserve it. It was that simple.  
  
What the hell was he thinking? That almost sounded jealous. Possessive. Was that also a part of friendship? Was he just being weird?  
  
He pushed those thoughts to the very back of his mind when Tsubaki looked at him in contemplation and suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "Ahahahahaha! Big brother, do you really expect me to pick these lame cookies? Ahahahahaha _hahahaha..._ ahh. Boring."  
  
Suddenly turning serious again, he added, "I think I'll have the strawberry shortcake."  
  
Kuro began to jot down _strawberry shortcake_ on his notepad when Tsubaki interrupted him. "No, wait! I meant the chocolate cupcake! The chocolate cupcake, big brother!"  
  
Kuro bit down a curse, scribbled out _strawberry shortcake_ and wrote _chocolate cupcake_ instead. Tsubaki was messing with him again, he knew that. He was trying to get him riled up.  
  
 _Must... not... get... mad._  
  
If only the flaring, burning feeling of anger and shame that was boiling in his gut would actually listen to that.  
  
"Or no - wait, I've changed my mind," Tsubaki said hastily, the deadly glint of mischief in his eyes darker and fiercer than ever. "I'll take the strawberry shortcake after all."  
  
Kuro clenched his teeth and tried not to sigh audibly as he crossed out _chocolate cupcake_ and started writing _strawberry shortcake_ again. He didn't get much further than _straw-_ when Tsubaki interrupted him again.  
  
"No, no, I know! I'll have the vanilla ice cream with extra strawberries!"  
  
Kuro couldn't help letting out an audible sigh. "Is that your final decision?"  
  
Tsubaki smiled from ear to ear. It was a perfectly innocent, non-threatening smile, almost childlike in its simple joy. "Yes."  
  
He was definitely up to something again.  
  
Kuro took everyone else's orders, almost amazed that Tsubaki didn't end up changing his mind again, and left off to the kitchen to deliver the orders to the cooking staff.  
  
As soon as he walked through the door a heavy weight seemed to fall off his shoulders. No random strangers were watching him here, no Tsubaki was around to rile him up until he snapped, nobody was judging or avoiding him; all the people here were too busy preparing food and drinks or washing up to pay him much attention. The scents of a hundred different sweet treats mingled in the air, inviting him to breathe deeply, inhaling the delicious smells and relaxing immediately. This place had to be his safe haven.  
  
And then, of course, it had Mahiru.  
  
The class rep's eyes met with Kuro's as soon as he walked in. Smiling, he finished decorating a piece of pie and went over to meet him, his apron and hands dusted in sugar and flour and sprinkled with chocolate and what looked like raspberry sauce. There was even some on his face, making Kuro wonder how he had managed to get it up there in the first place. "Kuro!" he greeted him. "I haven't seen you at all since we opened, where have you been?"  
  
"Over there," Kuro said flatly, pointing back to the room he had just left.  
  
"You don't say! But why didn't you come over here with any orders before? It's been over an hour!"  
  
Kuro avoided his eyes. _I suck,_ he wanted to say. _Nobody wants me at their table. I'm only here now because Tsubaki sent me here._  
  
As if he would admit to Mahiru just how pathetic he was. As if he'd let the only person who somehow managed to see something good in him know that he was a total disappointment.  
  
"Dunno," he mumbled instead. "It's all a huge pain."  
  
Mahiru looked at him, and for a moment Kuro wondered if his classmate saw through his mask. Then his friend sighed in exasperation, and the question in Kuro's head disappeared. "Geez, don't be like that! I know you're not motivated but keep going anyway, got that?" His expression softened as another smile spread across his face, one of the bright and warm ones that felt like sunlight on Kuro's skin. "Well, the good news is that you're making progress! So what do we need to prepare?"  
  
 _Progress, yeah, right._ It took all of Kuro's willpower not to say that out loud, but he restrained himself. Mahiru still believed in him, he actually believed that Kuro was capable of walking over to a table full of random strangers and leaving a good impression behind. No need to shatter that illusion. Yet, anyway.  
  
He listed off all the orders as Mahiru listened, occasionally interrupting him to say directions to the rest of the cooking team. "That's a whole lot!" he finally remarked once Kuro was done. "Just how many people were at your table?"  
  
"Four..."  
  
"Great!" Mahiru beamed with pride. "See? It's not that hard!"  
  
Kuro lowered his gaze again, feeling shame and guilt weighing down on his shoulders. Mahiru was so proud of him when he had no reason at all. Really, the only reason why he was here now was because Tsubaki had spotted him and decided to go around ruining his life.  
  
He didn't deserve that smile.  
  
"I'll be back when stuff's done," he mumbled, turned and walked back into the lion's den.  
  
Thankfully Tsubaki and his friends were busy enough not to notice him, distracting themselves with an impromptu photo shoot on Berukia's phone. Kuro relaxed a little. One less problem to mind for the time being. Maybe he'd be lucky and survive the time until the snacks and drinks were done without any more humiliation.  
  
Gathering his courage, he walked up to the nearest table again to meet some new customers. Middle schoolers, judging by their height and clothes.  
  
 _Keep cool. Don't look threatening. Don't look threatening._  
  
"Do you need anything?" he asked before mentally slapping himself. He was supposed to say some kind of greeting first, what was he doing?  
  
The boys looked at him, then at each other and back at him. Their faces paled as they shrank back in their seats, staring at the tall figure in front of them in terror. "Uh..."  
  
"Like, y'know, the menu or something?" What a pain. Kuro was really awful at being nice, he knew that. But he was still trying, right? Couldn't people see that? Or did he just look that intimidating? What was he doing wrong?  
  
"We're fine," the boys stammered in unison, even though they were clearly not. They had just arrived, they didn't have the menu yet, and of course they needed it.  
  
Trying not to grumble anything under his breath, he turned away, wanting to give them the menu anyway, when he heard their hushed voices behind his back.  
  
"Did you see that? That's the guy who threatened a customer earlier! I can kinda believe that!"  
  
"Scary! I thought he was gonna threaten us too, did you see his face?"  
  
" _Shhhh!_ Not so loud, he'll hear us!"  
  
 _I can hear you just fine._ Kuro clenched his fists, feeling exposed and pathetic and terribly humiliated. And furious. Furious at Tsubaki for lying at people like that, furious for putting him into the spotlight and turning him into the villain again, furious at everyone else around him for being sheep who believed that lie without asking questions. Furious at himself for not doing anything about it.  
  
He so wasn't getting those brats the menu.  
  
But... what was he supposed to do instead? Should he walk up to the next table only to discover that people were afraid of him yet again, that somehow the story of him allegedly threatening Tsubaki had spread like wildfire and everyone believed it? Should he go back to the kitchen and disappoint Mahiru? No matter how he turned it in his head, it was a lose-lose situation.  
  
It was hopeless. _He_ was hopeless.  
  
He numbly watched as Sakuya and the girls hurried from table to table, chatting, smiling, noting down orders and bringing snacks and drinks to their intended tables with ease, like it was all some well-choreographed dance and Kuro was the only one who didn't know the steps.  
  
Never mind. Standing around here just scared off the customers.  
  
Turning, he shuffled back to the kitchen, careful not to look too frustrated. "Mahiru," he called. "Are things done yet?"  
  
The boy in question perked up at his voice, turning around and giving him yet another friendly smile. "Kuro! Perfect timing, we're just about to finish!"  
  
Kuro wasn't sure if he should be relieved that he didn't have to stand around and wait or disappointed that he couldn't catch a longer break as he shuffled over, shakily lifting up a tray of drinks first. The glasses and cups moved around dangerously but thankfully didn't fall.  
  
He made his way back over to Tsubaki's table, walking slowly, careful not to drop or spill anything. His arms and knees felt like melted butter. Everything he had ever learned about carrying a tray of drinks had vanished from his memory in an instant.  
  
A short laugh greeted him, unmistakably Tsubaki in pitch and volume, and a cold feeling of dread closed around his stomach. "There you are, big brother!" Tsubaki greeted him, looking cheerful as usual. "Don't spill our drinks! You're walking so slowly, are you nervous?"  
  
Snorts and chuckles came from some remote corners of the room, making Kuro flinch and lower his head in shame. He wanted to turn around and glare at whoever it was who had the nerve to laugh at him, but he couldn't. Not now that he had this entire tray full of drinks that he absolutely couldn't drop or spill, especially not in front of everyone. Especially not in front of Tsubaki.  
  
He didn't know how he managed to make his way over to the table without any accidents, but somehow he did. Setting down the tray with a deep breath of relief, he was just about to place the drinks in front of everyone when a surprised noise from Tsubaki interrupted him.  
  
"Eh?" he asked, blinking up at Kuro in the most innocent manner imaginable. "Who's that green tea for?"  
  
Kuro met his gaze and knew exactly that he was just about to fall in another trap, have himself humiliated by Tsubaki again, and didn't know how to get out of it. What should he say? What should he do? Every answer seemed wrong to him.  
  
"You," he found himself saying bluntly, allowing a hint of annoyance into his voice. "Who else?"  
  
Tsubaki gaped at him in feigned shock. "I didn't order green tea, big brother! What are you talking about?"  
  
Berukia nearly choked on his drink. "Eeeeeeeh?" he exclaimed in between coughs. "Tsubakyun, you definitely did! I remember clearly as-"  
  
An icy glance from Tsubaki was enough to shut him down.  
  
"Oh, I see!" Berukia seemed to have got the hint, whatever it was. "That was yesterday, riiiiight? Sorry, I got confuuuused!"  
  
He was lying. They were both lying and the most painful thing was that Kuro knew it, knew that they were making things up and messing with him and trying to ruin his already shattered reputation and he could do absolutely nothing to stop them. They weren't exactly popular themselves, but who would believe the school's most infamous delinquent?  
  
Channeling the last remains of his crumbling patience, he gritted his teeth, forcing himself to stay calm. _Must not snap. Must. Not. Snap._  
  
"So, you gonna drink that tea anyway or not?" he asked, his free hand clenched into a fist at his side, nails digging into his palm, knuckles white. _Must not snap._  
  
"You know, big brother," Tsubaki chirped, "I'd much prefer coffee, so could you take that tea back to the kitchen please?"  
  
Kuro swallowed his pride and obliged wordlessly. At least it gave him an excuse to get away from that bastard and his friends, even if it was just for a moment. Even if he was still forced to balance that godforsaken cup of tea on its stupid tray, at least it provided a momentary distraction, something else to focus on for a minute. He needed to cool down, or else there'd be a catastrophe.  
  
Careful not to spill anything, he slowly made his way back towards the kitchen, step by step, walking slowly.  
  
And almost crashed into Sakuya.  
  
"Hey, move it," his classmate hissed at him, just loud enough for him to catch the words. "Hurry up, you're in the way."  
  
Kuro looked up, distracted for a moment, and nearly dropped the cup. A splash of green tea spilled over his fingers, burning hot, and he clenched his teeth in pain as he went on even though his hands hurt like crazy.  
  
At this point he didn't even care anymore. He just didn't care. The day couldn't possibly get any worse now. All he wanted was to somehow make his way through it without a major catastrophe.  
  
He stumbled into the kitchen and set down the cup in a hurry, ignoring the burning pain on his hands and fighting the urge to rush and hold them under cold water as soon as possible. "Coffee," he mumbled when he caught sight of Mahiru's surprised gaze.  
  
His classmate gave him a puzzled frown in return. "What?"  
  
"The tea was wrong, he wants coffee instead," Kuro said quickly, reaching for the tray of snacks prepared for Tsubaki's table. If only he could manage to bring that to them without any damage... then he wouldn't complain about the entire rest of the day.  
  
Mahiru looked at him, worry clearly written all over his face. He was just opening his mouth to say something when someone called his name, and he turned and hurried off.  
  
Kuro was left with a tray full of sweet treats and a cup of coffee. Taking a deep breath, he picked it up and started making his way towards Tsubaki's table.  
  
Carrying food on a tray was just as hard as carrying drinks, if not more. He walked even more slowly, watching every step, barely daring to breathe, fearing that the smallest movement would send everything crashing down. But for some reason everything went fine. He was almost there, almost at the table. His walk steadied a little, he moved faster-  
  
And hit his foot against something.  
  
Kuro lost his balance. He stumbled forward, trying and failing to regain his balance. The tray flew from his hands as he fell.  
  
There was a deafening crash. Four plates and a cup shattered to a thousand pieces. Four snacks and coffee spilled all over the floor. And Kuro landed right on top of them.  
  
For a moment he just lay there, motionless, keeping his eyes firmly closed. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening!  
  
Coffee and cherry sauce seeped through his shirt. Vanilla ice cream stuck to his face and hair. He was covered in mousse au chocolat and cookie crumbs, and a few shards were digging and cutting into his cheeks. His ill-fitting cat ears had flown off and lay a few feet away, the only part of him that had somehow remained clean.  
  
Kuro knew that the entire room was staring at him.  
  
This _was_ happening. The nightmare was real.  
  
Opening his eyes, he scrambled to his feet. His gaze met Tsubaki's, and suddenly he knew exactly what had happened.  
  
He knew why he had tripped. He knew _who_ had tripped him.  
  
The last bit of his patience and self-restraint crumbled to dust. Anger flared up at full force, burning, raging, killing every rational thought within him, leaving nothing but white-hot fury behind.  
  
 _Enough._  
  
Enough with the tricks. Enough with the humiliation. He'd had enough of it.  
  
Screw his reputation. Screw everything.  
  
Jumping to his feet, he leaped at Tsubaki, yanking his collar and snatching him out of his seat. He heard a few people gasp, but at this point he didn't even care anymore. All he wanted was payback.  
  
Kuro lifted his free hand into the air, clenched into a fist, ready to strike.  
  
He never did. A warm hand closed around his wrist with gentle force, and Kuro turned around to meet the gaze of familiar brown eyes.  
  
Mahiru.


	7. Accidentally Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Guess another try won't hurt... what a pain."

Mahiru.  
  
Kuro froze as his senses came roaring back to life, his anger and fury vanishing in an instant and giving way to shock and shame. Mahiru had seen everything. He had seen him fall over and break all the plates and let the snacks he had put so much work into go to waste. And... he had seen Kuro attack Tsubaki. He had seen him fail miserably, at every single thing he was supposed to do.  
  
Kuro had failed him, had disappointed him with every single thing he had done, and Mahiru had witnessed them all.  
  
His hands started shaking. His grip on Tsubaki's collar loosened, and he let go, dropping his trembling hand to his side, allowing the senior to fall back into his chair. Time seemed to stop.  
  
Kuro closed his eyes and waited for hell to break loose.  
  
There was nothing. Nothing but shocked gasps and hushed whispers, but Mahiru remained silent. The only thing that assured Kuro that he was still there was the unyielding grip on his wrist.  
  
It all seemed surreal. Like it was only a very bad dream, a figment of his imagination that would disappear when he opened his eyes to be replaced by the comforting familiarity of his room. But... this was real. He could tell by the warmth of Mahiru's hand, the only thing that didn't seem oddly removed and distant.  
  
He had no idea how long they both just stood there, neither of them saying a word. It felt like an eternity.  
  
Why was Mahiru not saying anything?  
  
Was this some kind of strategy? Was he trying to torment him until his guilt became so overwhelming that he apologized? If so, then it was working like a charm. At this point being yelled at would feel like a relief.  
  
His hands were shaking like dry leaves. Kuro wanted to say something, but his voice failed him, and all he forced out was a dry whisper. "Mahiru..."  
  
"Your costume's done."  
  
Kuro blinked in surprise. Mahiru's voice was calm and patient as usual, like nothing had happened at all, like they weren't standing in the middle of a battlefield. So calm that he gathered the courage to turn around, to meet Mahiru's eyes, and discovered that his classmate was smiling.  
  
Why was he smiling now of all times? Kuro didn't understand, and no matter how much he studied Mahiru's face he still couldn't find an explanation in it, a reason why he was not furious like he had every right to be. Was he just hiding it? That wasn't like him, so what was it?  
  
Well, it wasn't like he could figure it out by continuing to stare. Dropping his gaze, he let Mahiru lead him through the kitchen and into the small room attached to it, the one where kitchen utensils were usually kept outside of home economics class. Now it was mostly empty, except for a chair, across which a set of clothes was draped.  
  
"Your costume," Mahiru explained, catching sight of Kuro's questioning gaze. "It took them a bit longer than expected, but at least it's there now. And it's not like you can stay in these clothes anyway." He gestured to Kuro's ruined outfit, but his eyes lingered on his snack-smeared face and hands, and he made a disgruntled face. "Although... come to think of it, your clothes might not be the only problem."  
  
Turning, he hurried out of the room and came back with a wet towel in his hands. "Clean up a little," he began, then shook his head. "No, wait. It's probably faster if I do it."  
  
Before Kuro could even open his mouth to protest, Mahiru made his way over to him and started wiping his face and hands with the towel, his moves swift and efficient yet strangely gentle. Kuro felt reminded of a mother cleaning her child's face. Really, the only difference was that a kid would probably be embarrassed. Under normal circumstances, Kuro would be embarrassed too - this _was_ kind of an awkward situation after all, having his face wiped by someone else like he was a toddler or something - but right now all he could think was that it felt good to get rid of the sticky mess covering his cheeks and forehead, that the towel felt nicely cool and soothing, and that the movements of Mahiru's hand made it feel like he was being caressed.  
  
He was just about to forget where he was and lean into the touch when Mahiru finished, giving him another light smile. "That's better. Now hurry up and get changed."  
  
The whole reality of the situation kicked back in. Kuro had still messed up, humiliated himself in front of everyone, disappointed Mahiru and proved just how much of a failure he was. He had tried his best but it still wasn't enough. And here he was, supposed to change so he could continue doing what he couldn't do to save his life.  
  
He plopped down onto the chair with a sigh and couldn't bring himself to move, even though he knew Mahiru was waiting. Why was he still expecting him to go back out there and do his job? Even with a new costume he'd still be no good. And nobody would want him at their table anyway. Even with a new costume he'd still be recognizable as the guy who had tripped and dropped a tray of food and attacked a customer.  
  
What if he just stayed here until the day was over? Would anybody even miss him?  
  
The remains of the food and drinks on his clothes were beginning to dry, sticking and clinging to him and reminding him that even if he didn't want to go back outside, changing might not be such a bad idea after all. Hiding out in a closet with dry and clean clothes sounded a lot better than continuing to sit here as a drying but increasingly sticky mess.  
  
Slowly scrambling to his feet, he slipped out of his ruined costume and picked up the new one, eyeing it with mild curiosity. There was a black shirt, a white sweater vest, black pants and shoes and... another animal-eared headband, with some sort of bear ears this time, but at least it looked like this one would be a better fit. What kind of costume was that supposed to be?  
  
Well, never mind. It looked comfy enough, he might as well change into it and ask questions later.  
  
He had just slipped on the pants and was about to put on the shirt when the door opened, and Mahiru popped his head in. "Are you done yet?"  
  
For a few seconds they just blinked at each other, trying to process the bizarre situation they had suddenly found themselves in. Kuro stood still as a statue, frozen mid-motion, turning to face Mahiru, the shirt half-draped over his arms like he was posing for some kind of photo shoot. For some reason he felt exposed.  
  
Why did he even feel exposed? Mahiru had seen him shirtless before, he had even helped him button his shirt back when he had first dragged him to class, so his classmate walking in on him changing really shouldn't be such a big deal. Maybe it was the odd pose he was still striking while staring at the class representative like a deer in the headlights.  
  
Mahiru seemed to get the hint and finally broke the awkward silence. "What's taking you so long? Hurry up, geez!"  
  
"The others are gonna say the same to you if you keep staring at me," Kuro deadpanned, slipping on the shirt and finally covering up his body. "Liked what you saw?"  
  
"That's not it!" Mahiru shot back, embarrassment dusting his cheeks a lively pink. "I just didn't think you still wouldn't be done!"  
  
Kuro picked up the sweater vest and played with it, studying the pattern of the fabric like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. "I'm not in a hurry," he said quietly.  
  
He didn't look up, but he could still feel Mahiru's gaze on him, brown eyes soft with sympathy, and felt even worse.  
  
Dropping the sweater vest to the ground, he let himself sink back on the chair, pulling up his knees and curling into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself, hiding his face. "I don't wanna go out there again," he confessed. "It's too much... can't deal."  
  
"You're giving up?" Mahiru sounded disappointed, _finally,_ but there was still no anger in his voice. "If that's your final decision then I guess I can't do anything about it but... are you sure? The others need your help, you know!"  
  
 _Help?_ Kuro almost felt tempted to laugh at that. "I wasn't helping anyone."  
  
"That's not true!"  
  
Kuro jerked his head up at Mahiru's sudden outburst. "You were trying your hardest," his classmate continued. "I've seen you when we practiced the whole thing with the class, I know it's way out of your comfort zone but you still did your best! And you took care of Tsubaki and..."  
  
"...and dropped loads of food and broke plates and tried to attack him," Kuro finished the sentence, burying his face in his knees again. "Your point?"  
  
"Tsubaki tripped you!"  
  
Kuro looked up again, meeting Mahiru's eyes, staring at him in surprise and wide-eyed shock. "You saw?"  
  
"Of course I did. Tsubaki was out to humiliate you from the very beginning, right? That's why you were having so much trouble!"  
  
"Partly," Kuro admitted. _And because I look scary and can't talk to people. Which is kind of the bigger problem here._  
  
"Kuro, you idiot!" Mahiru stomped over to him, grabbed his shoulders and slammed their foreheads together. "Why didn't you tell me? I told you you could always come to me if there was a problem! Why were you trying to handle everything alone?"  
  
Kuro flinched and suddenly found himself hyperaware of the firm grip of Mahiru's hands on his shoulders, the warmth they radiated, the energy spreading through his entire body. Mahiru's face was painfully close, so close that Kuro had nowhere to look except for his accusing eyes. "Telling you sounded like a pain," he mumbled.  
  
"A bigger pain than you dealing with all this mess alone? Like hell I'll believe that!" Mahiru's grip on him tightened. "Stop trying to do everything by yourself, okay? You can rely on me if you need help!"  
  
Kuro shifted uncomfortably, trying to escape from Mahiru's grip of iron. His words felt good, so unfairly good, so much better than he deserved. And... he didn't understand. "You're not mad?"  
  
"Mad? Of course I'm mad!" Mahiru snapped, yanking Kuro out of his chair and up on his feet. "If you'd just told me you were having trouble, none of this would have happened, right? So stop being an idiot and take the help you're offered! That's what friends are for, right?"  
  
Kuro froze. His knees suddenly felt like putty again. His eyes went wide as he stared at Mahiru, trying to understand what his classmate had just said, hoping, praying that he hadn't misheard, that it wasn't just his imagination. His voice was barely more than a whisper, soft and shaky and hesitant as he gathered all his courage and asked, "We're... friends?"  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise. "Uh... sure!" he said nonchalantly and smiled, another one of those warm, radiant, unfairly bright smiles that lit up the entire room like the sun breaking out of the clouds. "Of course we're friends, Kuro!"  
  
A warm, giddy feeling spread through Kuro's stomach and chest, making him feel light and fluttery and unexplainably, indescribably happy. His heartbeat sped up, sending a glow of heat over his face and urging him to hide his face in his hands to stop himself from smiling like an idiot. Every part of him felt nervously shaky, excited, as he repeated Mahiru's words over and over in his head, burning that memory into his mind.  
  
 _Of course we're friends._ Mahiru had said it so naturally, like it was the most normal thing in the world to be friends with someone like Kuro. Like he hadn't spent a lifetime alone, avoided by everyone. Like this wasn't the first time someone openly called him a friend.  
  
He didn't know it felt so good.  
  
Mahiru's words and smile sent a rush of hope through him, courage, determination. The thought that maybe if he went out there again, tried to be a waiter again, things would be different this time. It was idiotic and overly idealistic and perfectly unreasonable, but... maybe that was the key. Maybe sometimes you had to be an optimistic moron to get by.  
  
Maybe Mahiru was right, and he could do this after all. Maybe a change of costume and some encouraging would actually do the trick, and he could actually be of some help this time around.  
  
Or maybe he just didn't want to disappoint his newfound friend.  
  
Sliding away from Mahiru's loosened grasp, he picked up the sweater vest and pulled it on, reached for the bear-eared headband and planted it on his head, and slipped on his shoes. "Guess another try won't hurt... what a pain."  
  
Mahiru beamed.  
  
Kuro let the wings of that smile carry him out of the room, turning his face away to hide how nonsensically happy he still was, and made his way through the kitchen and over to the room where the guests were sitting. It was even more crowded now; apparently someone had thought it was a good idea to bring a whole horde of elementary schoolers here, and now the brats and their older siblings and parents had occupied all the tables. The other waiters seemed to be having a hard time, running from one table to the other, comforting a crying brat here, wiping a spilled drink there and calmly answering to a lot of whining and nagging and the millionth question asking when the food would finally be ready.  
  
Kuro faltered, stopping in the door frame as his courage left him as quickly as it had come. Could he really go in there like nothing had happened? Weren't the others mad at him, even if Mahiru wasn't? Wouldn't he just get in the way again like he had before, standing around like he was part of the decoration? If he couldn't even handle normal guests, could he really handle a gang of toddlers?  
  
Part of him considered turning around and leaving before it was too late. He couldn't do this after all. There was no way he could. Mahiru would probably be sorely disappointed in him, but he'd understand. It was better than causing even more destruction.  
  
He was just about to turn back when one of the girls met his gaze.  
  
Her eyes went wide as saucers as she gaped at Kuro, who stared right back, trying to understand what the hell it was she was looking at. Was there anything on his face? Unlike all the other guests, she didn't look too intimidated, so what was it?  
  
The girl's friend waved a hand in front of her and said something Kuro couldn't catch, probably asking if she'd seen a ghost or something or what on earth she was staring at. She blinked, then pointed straight at Kuro and loudly proclaimed, "Look, there's a panda over there!"  
  
Kuro turned to peek around his shoulder, trying to figure out if there was anything vaguely resembling a panda behind him. After all, she couldn't possibly have been talking about him, could she? Maybe it had just looked like she'd been staring at him the whole time.  
  
Wait a second.  
  
Kuro looked down, taking in his costume. Black arms and legs... white torso... black bear ears...  
  
 _Oh._  
  
Meeting the little girl's gaze again, he didn't really know what to do. Should he come over? Or maybe waving would be better. He tried a halfhearted attempt at a wave. "'Sup."  
  
The girl beamed, said something to her friend and waved back with enthusiasm. "Heeeey! Mr. Panda!" she called. "Over here, Mr. Panda!"  
  
Wait. Did this kid actually call him over? Maybe there was some panda standing behind him, some kind of phantom or spirit that was only visible to kids, or something. Kuro didn't usually believe in that kind of stuff but anything seemed more believable than this kid calling him over to her table after teens and adults had spent the whole day shrinking away from him.  
  
He met the girl's eyes with a questioning look. The kid blinked, gave him a confused expression, and tilted her head to the side. "What's wrong, Mr. Panda?" she asked. "Are you not a waiter?"  
  
She _was_ talking to him. What.  
  
Still hesitant and definitely not sure what he was doing, he made his way over to her and her friend, a little boy around her age who didn't seem all too pleased by the girl's interest in Kuro. He stopped at a few feet away, careful not to loom over the table like he had before, trying his very hardest not to appear too intimidating. What the hell was he supposed to do with a pair of kids? He didn't know the first thing about kids. What should he say?  
  
"Hey," he offered weakly.  
  
"Hey!" the girl chimed, accompanied by an even bigger grin and a frown from her friend. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Panda! Do you work here too?"  
  
Kuro nodded, wondering where this was going. "Yeah, kinda. For today."  
  
"Then I'm glad we came today! Can we have the menu please?"  
  
Now this was something Kuro knew how to react to. He grabbed a menu from a table that had just become empty and held it out to the kids, who studied it with curiosity. "There ya go."  
  
The little boy frowned at the menu, then looked up to frown at Kuro instead. "This doesn't have any pictures," he said, pointing an accusing finger at the beautifully calligraphed lines of text.  
  
Oh crap. Right. They were little kids, of course they couldn't read yet! Why hadn't Kuro thought of that? He should have offered to read it out to them or something. Even if that was exhausting as hell.  
  
"What a pain," he sighed under his breath. Out loud, he added, "Want me to read it out for ya?"  
  
"No need!" the little girl chirped before her friend even had the chance to open his mouth. She stared intently at the menu, pointed a finger at one of the items and moving it from letter to letter as she read. "Cho-co-late cup-cake." She glanced up at Kuro with pride. "See? I can read already!"  
  
"Nice," Kuro said, partly because he had no idea what else to reply, partly because he was seriously impressed. This kid was never older than five or six and she could read that well already? He was convinced he would never have been able to read a menu by himself when he was her age.  
  
It was hard to believe after all the disasters that had happened today, but Kuro was kind of enjoying himself. The little girl's simple-minded, outgoing personality and ear-to-ear grin were a pleasant breather, and it really felt nice not to be met with a horrified expression for once. What had happened? Why weren't these two pint-sized guests scared of him like everyone else had been? Was it the new costume? Was it just kids being kids? Or... was Kuro somehow still radiating happiness because Mahiru had called him a friend?  
  
The butterflies in his stomach stirred again at that memory, and a warm fuzzy feeling wrapped itself around his heart like his favorite blanket in winter. _Friend._ That one word had changed everything, had taken his guilt away and given him confidence, even if it had only really lasted until he had reached the door. But that had been enough, apparently. This unbelievable little kid had seen him and approached him and was obviously trying to befriend him, and maybe the rest of the gang would do the same. Well, at least they would hopefully not meet him with hostility. That was something.  
  
Kuro definitely needed to thank Mahiru later. He didn't know how yet, but he owed him. Big time.  
  
"Mr. Panda? Mr. Panda!"  
  
The girl's voice snapped him out of his reverie. Blinking, he realized that he had been standing at the table and staring off into nowhere for several minutes, and with who knows what kind of expression to boot. He shook himself and turned his attention back to the two kids in front of him, who eyed him with curiosity. "What's up?"  
  
"We're done choosing, Mr. Panda! Can we order please?"  
  
Kuro nodded, took out his notepad and pen and scribbled down the children's orders. He half expected the little boy to change his order a dozen times like Tsubaki had just to spite him, but the kid didn't speak a single word, simply glaring up at him as he left the talking to his friend.  
  
Kuro made his way back to the kitchen, trying to make sense of what had just happened.  
  
Mahiru met his gaze as soon as he walked in, giving him a knowing smile. "So how was it? It wasn't that bad, right?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "I dunno," he mumbled, "there's a buncha little kids sitting out there and they seem to like my costume or something. I just hope they won't start acting too bratty... what a pain."  
  
Mahiru perked up. "Kids?"  
  
"Yeah. Loads of kids without their parents. The whole room's filled with them."  
  
"Without their parents? I just hope nobody used this place as an excuse to drop off their kids so they could look at everything else in peace! Some people are so irresponsible." Mahiru let out an irritated sigh. "Keep an eye out for them, okay? And tell the others to be careful too. It's best not to spend too much time in here right now, just tell me what they ordered and go back!"  
  
Kuro tore the page with the orders off his notepad and hesitated. Sure, this whole waiter thing had just become a lot easier, but that didn't mean he was motivated to play babysitter for a dozen unattended toddlers. "Do I have to? I'm not good with kids."  
  
"Shut up! Tsubaki's gone now and the kids aren't even afraid of you, so you don't have an excuse not to go back anymore!" Mahiru grabbed his shoulders, turned him around and ushered him out of the kitchen. "Well, at least you're back to your normal self... I guess that's a good thing. But don't run away, got that? Keep an eye on them!"  
  
Kuro stumbled through the door and sighed. "Sure, Mom."  
  
"Who are you calling Mom?! Zip it and go back to work!"  
  
The door slammed shut behind him, and Kuro found himself looking into at least fifteen pairs of curiously widened eyes.  
  
Sighing, he thanked fate for his lack of pride, raised both his hands and made a gesture to emulate paws. It was more of a cat pose, really, but they were all still little kids so who would even notice, let alone care? If he'd still had his cat ears maybe he would have meowed too, but since he had no idea what noise pandas made he just offered them a somewhat weak "Hey."  
  
"Hey, Mr. Panda! You're back!" The little girl from earlier smiled and waved, then copied Kuro's paw pose with a grin. "Is this a special panda greeting? I've learned it already, see? That means I'm your panda friend now! Right?"  
  
Kuro stared at her, trying to follow her train of thought and failing. Her babble made no sense to him, so he did what every reasonable human being would do in his situation and nodded awkwardly. "I... guess."  
  
...Had she just called him a friend?  
  
It was strange. She was already the second person calling him a friend today, but for some reason Kuro didn't feel nearly as happy and overwhelmed as he had when Mahiru had done the same. Was it because kids threw the word around lightly? Because the second time didn't have as much of an impact as the first one? Because he barely knew her? Or had he only felt so happy earlier because _Mahiru_ of all people had called him a friend? Was Mahiru... special to him?  
  
What a stupid question. Mahiru was the first real friend he'd ever made. Of course he was special.  
  
...What was he doing, thinking about that again? He was supposed to take care of over a dozen kids, not over-analyze his own reactions to people calling him their friend. There would still be enough time for that when he was finally alone again later. Now he had other things to do.  
  
Mahiru was relying on him, after all.  
  
"Hey, panda," the little girl's friend addressed him, scowling like he was trying to murder Kuro with his eyes. "When's our food gonna be ready?"  
  
"I dunno," Kuro answered and was just about to walk over to another table when he remembered his manners. Well, the manners the others had taught him for this occasion. _Be nice to the guests, be polite no matter what._ And here he was, talking to a six-year-old in his usual manner.  
  
"I... dunno 'cause I don't make it, gotta ask the cooking guys or something. I'll... do that when I go back to the kitchen." Was that okay? Was that polite enough? At least it wasn't too rude, right? ...Right?  
  
The boy was still scowling, but the little girl smiled in her ever-cheerful manner and nodded. "Thanks, Mr. Panda!"  
  
Kuro was just about to consider which table to go to when a pair of twin girls and a fragile-looking boy shyly waved him over. "U-Um, Mr. Panda, c-can we order please?"  
  
He nodded and made his way over to them, reaching for his notepad and pen and getting ready to write down their orders. They all politely listed off what they wanted, and Kuro was just about to leave again when the boy in the middle spoke up. "M-Mr. Panda, do you always work here?"  
  
"Just for the school festival," Kuro replied, wondering where this was going for what felt like the twenty-first time that day.  
  
Their eyes went wide with curiosity. "So, um," the short-haired twin ventured, "you're a student here?"  
  
"Yup." Kuro didn't know why, but for some reason he felt like adding a little joke. "Pandas need an education too y'know."  
  
They giggled. Now it was Kuro's turn to widen his eyes in surprise, staring at the three kids who were actually _laughing_ at his lame joke, even though they seemed so shy and nervous. Had he just done something right? He had no idea. He wasn't even that good with kids to begin with.  
  
The long-haired twin was the first to stop giggling and become serious again. "But, Mr. Panda," she asked, "what do you need an education for? All pandas do is eat and sleep and look cute, right?"  
  
Kuro sighed, banning the rising images from his stressful school life from his head as they appeared. "That's all I do at school."  
  
"That's not good, Mr. Panda!" the first girl shouted over from her table. "You gotta take your education seriously! That's what Mitsuki-san always says, and Mitsuki-san is super smart!"  
  
"Idiot!" a boy from another table shouted back. "Mr. Panda doesn't even know who Mitsuki-san is! Right, Mr. Panda?"  
  
Kuro looked from one to the other in confusion. Of course he had absolutely no idea who this Mitsuki person was, but that didn't even matter. These kids had just gone and incorporated him into their conversation like it was nothing, like he wasn't some scary ex-gang member surrounded by rumors nasty enough to keep even the toughest mobsters at bay. Like he was an older brother, or a friend, or maybe a parent, a normal, nice person who was good with kids.  
  
It was strange. It was so strange. But... it was fun.  
  
He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but he _wanted_ to interact with these brats. He wanted to ask them questions and hear about them and tell them things about himself and make them laugh with his jokes, and it was the strangest feeling he'd ever felt. Talking to people drained him, and he tried to avoid it as much as he could. But these kids... right now, they didn't seem so draining.  
  
"Who's this Mitsuki?" he asked casually. "Friend of yours?"  
  
"Mitsuki-san is our older sister," the short-haired twin explained. "She grew up at our orphanage, but now she doesn't live there anymore because she's an adult and has a job."  
  
"She still visits a lot though," her sister added. "She came with us today too but she went looking for Lily and Misono." She smiled. "They're our big brothers too, they live right next door so they always come over to play with us!"  
  
Kuro wanted to say something, but no words came out. Orphanage. All these kids were orphans. They'd lost their parents, they'd lost everything, and yet here they were, smiling, cheerful, acting like a perfectly normal bunch of children like their lives had been nothing but sunshine and rainbows.  
  
They were incredible.  
  
"I..." His voice came out hoarse, choked, and he coughed to get it back to normal before they noticed anything. "Anybody else who wants to order?"  
  
One by one, all the children raised their hands.  
  
Kuro could see the other waiters and waitresses move over to help him with all the orders when the children all began to yell and shout at the same time. A little girl even burst into tears. "No!" she screamed as Sakuya approached her table. "I don't wanna order from you! I want Mr. Panda!"  
  
"No fair!" a voice from the other side of the room shouted. " _I_ want Mr. Panda! Over here, Mr. Panda!"  
  
"I called him first! Mr. Panda, come to me!"  
  
Kuro stared at all the tantrums around him and sighed. Little kids were and remained little kids, after all, and little kids had the annoying habit of being loud and bratty and crying a lot. And that was the part he really, really couldn't handle.  
  
"Can't deal," he mumbled. "Hey, calm down," he added in a louder voice, but the kids wouldn't listen.  
  
Great. What was he supposed to do now, calm them down somehow? But how? How could anyone who didn't have superpowers calm down a bunch of tantrum-throwing kids?  
  
...Should he call Mahiru?  
  
He shook his head, dismissing that thought. Mahiru was busy enough already. And he'd trusted him with this. Kuro had already disappointed his trust once today, this might very well be his last chance. No, he had to come up with a solution on his own.  
  
Maybe he should say something. Well, he probably should. These kids seemed to like him, so there was a good chance that they'd actually stop making such a ruckus if he told them to calm down. That wasn't the problem.  
  
The problem was that they couldn't hear him. He'd have to shout.  
  
And Kuro hated, hated, _hated_ shouting.  
  
Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath... and released it again. There was no way he could do this. He couldn't just pull a Mahiru and shout louder than everyone else combined and handle the stares that would come with the ensuing silence.  
  
He took another breath and shook his head. He couldn't do this. He wanted to, but he really, really couldn't.  
  
His hands felt shaky. His heartbeat picked up, racing and fluttering in his chest like a nervous swarm of hummingbirds. He could feel his mind going blank, the words he wanted to say disappearing from his head. He couldn't do it. He couldn't handle the stares, the attention, the awkward silence.  
  
"Hey, keep it down," he tried again, but it came out weak, barely audible to him and unintelligible to everyone else. But it was the loudest he could muster.  
  
 _Relax. Don't panic._ He breathed in and out, trying to bring his heartbeat back to its normal speed, and closed his eyes. _Focus. You're doing this for Mahiru. He's relying on you here. Don't disappoint him again._  
  
Pictures appeared in his mind, pictures of Mahiru smiling and calling him a friend, pictures of Mahiru grabbing his shoulders and knocking their foreheads together and yanking him to his feet. A feeling of strength rushed through his veins. Courage. He felt powerful, as if Mahiru's energy had transmitted onto him, filling him with strength and confidence.  
  
 _Alright, you can do this._  
  
"Calm down, everybody," he shouted, his voice as loud as he could manage.  
  
It worked.  
  
Everyone fell silent, blinking at him with wide, round eyes. The only thing to be heard were a few sniffles.  
  
Kuro's throat felt dry. His courage disappeared as quickly as it had come. His heart started to race again as he forced himself not to lower his gaze and avoid the curious eyes of the orphans. He swallowed, gripping his notepad and pen to hide how much his hands were shaking. "You guys are too many," he said, hoping his voice was steady. "Even a cute panda like me can't take care of all of you by himself. These guys are all right though." He practically forced out the next words. "They're... my friends."  
  
He felt ridiculous, lying through his teeth like that, but it was necessary. He needed to pretend to trust the others or the kids never would, and then he'd be stuck hurrying from table to table and taking orders until kingdom come. And nice as they all were, that really wasn't something he would look forward to.  
  
Not that he'd have to do it anyway. Lie or no, his little speech worked.  
  
Most of the children still didn't look to enthusiastic about Kuro's classmates approaching them, but at least they didn't throw a fit again. Some even greeted the other waiters with a smile, curious about Mr. Panda's so-called friends.  
  
Kuro felt a little proud. _Problem solved,_ he thought with a sigh of relief. _All by myself, without Mahiru's help. Even though I'm terrible with kids._  
  
Maybe he wasn't such a lost cause after all.  
  
Feeling more confident than he had hoped to feel all day, he walked from table to table, taking order after order, noting everything down and answering the children's questions about himself and his life. When he finally got back to the kitchen, carrying a long list, he felt exhausted and a little lightheaded, wondering if this whole situation was actually real.  
  
It was like a miracle had happened. At first he'd been a failure, a load, only getting in everyone's way and never helping, embarrassing himself and getting humiliated by Tsubaki and scaring the customers away and just showing off all the skills he had with people. He'd been his typical self then, except that he'd been trying more than usual to please Mahiru. And everything had come crashing down. He had thought it was all over.  
  
But it hadn't been over. Mahiru had saved him from making a grave mistake. Mahiru had defused a situation that would otherwise have blown up in his face. Mahiru had given him a new costume and cheered him up and encouraged him and somehow, it had _worked_. He'd come back to find a whole new set of customers, just the kind who'd be drawn towards his panda costume. He'd somehow managed to connect to the kids and befriend them and talk to them normally and cool them down when they were upset, without even knowing how, and he couldn't help thinking it was all a magic trick. He refused to believe everything had worked out so smoothly without the help of superhuman powers.  
  
Or maybe that was just the effect Mahiru had on people. Kuro had watched and observed him a lot over the past few weeks, simply by virtue of always being near him, and he had realized that this was the true reason why Shirota Mahiru was so popular and admired by nearly everyone. He didn't know how exactly he did it, but Mahiru had the gift of knowing exactly what was needed to say, of bringing out the best in people and giving them new hope when they were well beyond hope. Even awkward outcasts like Kuro.  
  
And an amazing person like that had called Kuro his friend. His friend... Kuro still couldn't believe his own luck. He'd been in this world for over sixteen years, and for all these years he had always felt like the universe hated him, like fate was always going out of its way to make his life miserable. And now the first friend he'd ever made just happened to be Shirota Mahiru.  
  
Kuro didn't even realize that his cheeks had taken on a pink hue until he walked in through the kitchen door and caught Mahiru looking at him with concern.  
  
"Hey... you okay?" he asked, hurrying over to meet him. "Your face is kinda red... is the costume too hot? Did you overexert yourself? You don't have a fever, do you?"  
  
Kuro looked at him in confusion until he noticed what had happened and his cheeks heated up even more. "I'm fine," he mumbled, then realized that this alone would just make Mahiru worry all the more, hastily thought of a diversion and added, "Actually... no, I'm not. I think I caught a cold." He faked a little cough. "I gotta go back to my room and stay in bed for a week."  
  
"Looks like you're fine," Mahiru remarked, although he still didn't look entirely convinced. "But your face looks _really_ red, are you sure there's nothing wrong with you?"  
  
Before Kuro knew what was going on, Mahiru reached up and put a hand on his forehead.  
  
Kuro went rigid. The gears in his brain came to a screeching halt as he stared at Mahiru, whose face was only inches away, dark eyes closely inspecting him for any sign of a cold, brow furrowed in concern. Mahiru's hand felt warm on his forehead, almost soothing, as he took Kuro's temperature like a worried mother taking care of her sickly child.  
  
From the corner of his eye, Kuro could see people staring.  
  
And whispering.  
  
His brain clicked back on. The full reality of the situation settled in. He and Mahiru were standing inches away from each other, with Mahiru all up in his face, taking his temperature like it was the most normal thing to do between friends. To a born mom friend like him, it probably was.  
  
But... to everyone else, they had to look like a couple.  
  
Dammit, why did these things just keep happening? People would get it all wrong.  
  
Brushing away Mahiru's hand with a sharp gesture, Kuro took a step back, almost tripping over his own feet. "I said I'm fine," he snapped, the words coming out louder and harsher than he had intended them to.  
  
Mahiru blinked, taken aback, looking up at Kuro with an expression that seemed startled and surprised and maybe even a little hurt, if that wasn't just Kuro's imagination playing tricks on him. "Kuro...?" he asked quietly, a dozen unspoken questions reflecting in his eyes. "What..."  
  
He followed Kuro's gaze to the others, who were whispering and snickering and giving them meaningful looks, and understood. "Hey!" he yelled at them, blushing bright red in his turn. "What are you guys doing over there? If you have time to gossip, get back to work! We're busy enough here!"  
  
They jumped and did as they were told without complaining, although Kuro swore he could still see some of them smirking to themselves.  
  
Sighing in irritation, Mahiru turned back to Kuro. "Sorry 'bout that," he said, his face still several shades pinker than usual. "I didn't think people would misunderstand... Shut up, you two!" he shouted over his shoulder, silencing a pair of snickering classmates. "Anyway... you don't seem to have a fever so I guess that's the most important thing here."  
  
Kuro nodded, still feeling slightly overwhelmed by everything that just happened. "But, um," he said, remembering why he was even here in the first place, "I got a lot of orders, so..."  
  
"Orders? Oh right!" Was Kuro imagining things, or was Mahiru as happy to steer the conversation away from the awkward scene as he was? "How's taking care of the kids going?"  
  
Kuro let out an exhausted sigh, although even he noticed that it lacked the usual annoyed edge, sounding almost content instead. "Can't deal. They all seem to really love the panda costume. Kids are exhausting."  
  
Mahiru's face lit up, beaming with pride and joy. "See?" he said, sparkly-eyed, smiling from ear to ear like a child on Christmas Day. "I told you you'd be fine! So you're getting along with the kids?"  
  
"Dunno." Kuro shrugged, trying not to stare at Mahiru's shining, sparkling smile. "Getting along's probably an exaggeration, but it's not that bad I guess." _Exaggeration, yeah, right,_ a voice in his head whispered. _It's not an exaggeration, these kids adore you and you know that._  
  
As if he'd say that to Mahiru. Happy as that would probably make him, it was still awfully embarrassing to admit that he'd been right, to say nothing of the fact that admitting that he had befriended over a dozen elementary school brats was one of the lamest things he could possibly say. It wasn't really like him to show his feelings and attachments openly, anyway.  
  
Not that Mahiru cared. He took one look at Kuro's endlessly long list of orders and smiled so brightly that Kuro knew he'd been found out, that Mahiru had immediately understood the true meaning of his words. And embarrassing as that was, it wasn't nearly as humiliating as having to spell out what he was thinking.  
  
In fact, it felt... good. He felt like Mahiru understood him, understood what was going on in his head even when he said the opposite of what he meant. Kuro had no idea how he did it, but it was clear that he did, somehow.  
  
Still feeling slightly dazed, he made his way back, carrying the drinks and snacks the little girl and her friend had ordered, walking faster and more steadily than ever. Maybe he was finally getting the hang of carrying trays of food, or maybe it was just his confidence boost making him feel like he could do this. One way or another, it worked, and he carried everything to the kids' table without any problems.  
  
The little girl beamed again, took a glance at her ice cream and pursed her lips. "There's a strawberry here," she mused. "The doctor says I can't eat strawberries, or I'll get this icky rash that itches and stuff." She looked up to meet Kuro's gaze, picked up the strawberry and held it out to him. "Want to have this, Mr. Panda?"  
  
Kuro was tempted to reach for the strawberry until he caught sight of the girl's friend, who was glaring at him like he wanted to murder him with his eyes. "Um," he muttered, "no thanks. Maybe your friend here wants it."  
  
The little boy blushed furiously and mumbled something unintelligible when his friend turned to face him with a surprised look in her eyes, but he took it anyway. Maybe Kuro was imagining things again, but he could have sworn there was some gratitude in the kid's eyes.  
  
That boy was a lot like him, he realized. Awkward, withdrawn, highly protective of what might well be his only friend but too embarrassed to admit that he cared, limiting his expression of jealousy to a death glare whenever said friend wasn't looking. And the girl... come to think of it, the girl somewhat resembled Mahiru too. Maybe that was why she'd taken a liking to him.  
  
He hoped these two stayed friends forever.  
  
...Great, now he was having these sappy thoughts again. He had to be getting tired. Or maybe watching over a bunch of friendly children did that to people. One way or another, this wasn't like him at all and it was embarrassing.  
  
Shaking off the thought, he got back to work. An hour passed by like a minute as he walked from table to table, taking orders, bringing food and drinks, talking to kids, taking care of cuts and burns (he had never been so glad to have watched Mahiru when the latter had tended to his injuries), wiping spilled drinks and comforting crying kids who wouldn't stop apologizing for knocking over their cups, carrying empty plates back to the kitchen. Once he had grown used to it it was almost shockingly easy, no... it was fun. He actually enjoyed interacting with people, random strangers, something he had never liked before, not until these kids had miraculously welcomed him into their middle and declared him their friend.  
  
Before he knew it, it was almost closing time and Kuro was just starting to wonder how he could talk all these children into leaving when Misono and Lily walked in through the door, accompanied by a dark-haired twentysomething woman Kuro had never seen before. They waved and smiled, and the kids waved and smiled back.  
  
"Mitsuki-san!" they greeted her, jumping out of their chairs and into her arms. "And Lily and Misono! We missed you all!"  
  
Lily smiled. "We missed you too," he said, hugging four children at once. "Sorry it took a little longer than expected." He lifted his head, addressing Kuro. "I hope they weren't too much trouble? Sorry for burdening you with them, big brother."  
  
Kuro just shrugged. He couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound either rude or embarrassing.  
  
"Mr. Panda was super nice to us," the little girl declared in his stead. "He's our friend now!" She pouted. "I don't wanna say goodbye to Mr. Panda yet!"  
  
"Me too!" said a few other kids. And suddenly Kuro found himself crowded by a bunch of children hugging him and clinging to his shirt, without any idea of what to do. He sent a helpless glance in Lily's direction, who just laughed.  
  
"I see you're good with kids, big brother," he said and tugged the children away from Kuro, one by one, but they kept coming back. "Come on now, no need to be stubborn. You can come visit Mr. Panda and me anytime!"  
  
That worked, and the children reluctantly let go, although some of them looked quite teary-eyed. Lily, Misono and Mitsuki gathered them into a group and were just about to usher them out the door when the little girl turned and made the paw pose. "Bye, Mr. Panda!"  
  
Kuro was just about to reply something when all the other children joined in, imitating the pose. "Bye!"  
  
He sighed, but it was an almost fond sigh as he lifted up his hands, forming the panda pose that was actually a cat pose-turned-secret panda greeting. "See ya."  
  
The group left at last, and as soon as the last child was out of sight Kuro made his way back to the kitchen and collapsed on the nearest chair. He'd enjoyed himself all right, but human interaction was still draining as hell, to say nothing of being a waiter and befriending a bunch of orphans. It had been fun, but now he really, really needed a break.  
  
"You did well."  
  
Kuro looked up to find Mahiru sitting next to him, smiling an exhausted but fond smile. "I had no idea you were so good with kids."  
  
"...Yeah." Kuro turned the words around in his head, realizing that Mahiru was right but barely believing it himself. "Me neither."


	8. On Stage and Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You want me to join forces with big brother?"

Done at last.  
  
Sakuya couldn't believe his own thoughts, but he was actually relieved the café was finally closed. He had enjoyed being a waiter, of course; talking to people had always come naturally to him, and it had been all fun and games until this bunch of kids had turned up. And embarrassing as that was, Sakuya had absolutely no idea how to handle elementary school brats, or any kids in general. He still couldn't believe that Kuro of all people had turned out to be so naturally good at it.  
  
Sitting down with a relieved sigh, Sakuya reached for some leftover cookies and was just about to finally allow himself some rest when his phone buzzed, signaling a new message from Tsubaki.  
  
Sakuya scrunched up his face. _Speaking of kids._  
  
Preemptively rolling his eyes at whatever nonsense Tsubaki had just sent him - because there was no way it wasn't nonsense - Sakuya opened the message, bracing himself for the worst.  
  
 _Hey Sakuya, you're free now right? ^w^ Let's go see 2-A's play together~_  
  
Sakuya let out a quiet groan. This was exactly the kind of nonsense he had expected, and he definitely wasn't in the mood to humor that right now. Not that he usually was, but right now he was tired and hungry and really, _really_ didn't have the strength to handle his annoying friend. _ill pass,_ he texted back. That was it. If Tsubaki wanted an explanation he could ask, but Sakuya wouldn't waste any time or energy on long texts until then.  
  
Tsubaki's reply was almost immediate. _Why not?! O.O Come on, I'll even pay for your ticket! ;)_  
  
Sakuya decided to ignore the rather conspicuous wink at the end of the text as he typed another reply. _pretty tired, not in the mood for this rn. go ask berukia or otogiri or smth._  
  
A laugh from the direction of the classroom door told him that his reply had been too late. Letting out a long-suffering sigh, he turned around to find himself face to face with Tsubaki, not even bothering to hide his irritation. "What are you doing here? I already told you no. Now get out."  
  
Apparently his glare had been a little too murderous, because Tsubaki jumped and seemed to visibly shrink with every second. "S-Scary!" he yelped. "Sakuya, what's that glare for? Did I do something wrong?" He paused for a second as a realization crossed his face. "You're mad at me again, aren't you? You're mad that I messed with big brother and ruined your café, is that it?"  
  
 _Here we go again._ Sakuya rolled his eyes and had half a mind to tell Tsubaki it was a misunderstanding, but the other half told him to shut up and use this as a convenient way to get rid of Tsubaki before anyone actually caught them talking to each other. Mahiru was still right next door and could come out anytime.  
  
"Just leave," he said sharply, keeping a watchful eye on the door to the kitchen. _Don't let Mahiru see us. Don't let Mahiru see us._  
  
Tsubaki looked at Sakuya in shock, processing the words for a second before his face fell and he curled up in the nearest corner to sulk. "So it's true after all... you don't like me, Sakuya..."  
  
Sakuya felt sorely tempted to punch him in the face and tell him to get the hell out of his classroom right then and there, but he restrained himself. There had already been enough drama of that sort today, after all, and he wasn't Kuro. Instead, he got up from his chair with a groan and made his way over to his capricious friend, who didn't even turn to look at him.  
  
"Sheesh, you're so annoying," he mumbled, standing behind Tsubaki. "Fine, I'll go see the play with you or whatever, but only as long as nobody sees us together."  
  
Tsubaki pulled his knees closer to his chest. "You're only going with me out of pity. So rude, Sakuya... nobody understands me!"  
  
Sakuya would later be incredibly proud of himself for not punching Tsubaki square in the face, because right then it felt like the one thing in the world he wanted to do the most. "I'm not mad about earlier and I don't hate you, how many more times do I have to say that? Now stop sulking already."  
  
Tsubaki perked up and was back on his feet in less than a second, looking as happy as he'd ever been. "Thanks, Sakuya!" he said, putting on his charmer smile and adding a perfectly unnecessary wink. "Let's go and secure the best seats!" He laughed his usual laugh.  
  
"What's that wink for?" Sakuya might have been imagining things, but he felt like his face had heated up a little at Tsubaki's expression and he did _not_ like it. Scoffing, he added, "You're making it sound like a date."  
  
A laugh was the only answer he got. Or at least so it seemed until Tsubaki stopped mid-laugh, blinking at him in complete and utter astonishment. "A date?"  
  
"...Never mind." Okay, Sakuya's face was definitely heating up now, flushed with embarrassment. What was he talking about? This was just Tsubaki's usual attitude, and he was clingy enough as things were. No need to give him any ideas.  
  
But... was it just him, or had Tsubaki's face also turned slightly pink at the idea?  
  
\---  
  
"Oh, it's this late already?"  
  
Kuro glanced up from the plate of leftover cookies he'd been busying himself with to find Mahiru in the middle of cleaning up, staring at the clock in slight shock. "Where did all the time go?"  
  
"By." Kuro stuffed another handful of cookies in his mouth.  
  
"Well, duh!" Mahiru shot back. "That was a rhetorical question! Which you'd know if you didn't spend every single class sleeping!"  
  
"I'm tired in the morning."  
  
"The question is, when are you ever _not_ tired?" Mahiru sighed with irritation and made a vague gesture, brushing off the topic. "But that's not even my point. I was just thinking that 2-A's play is about to start."  
  
Kuro blinked at him and got himself another helping of cookies. "And?"  
  
"And I thought that maybe we could go see it and talk to Hyde afterwards. Because, you know, even if he wants nothing to do with the whole Servamp thing anymore, he still used to be one of you guys and we might still need him as an ally."  
  
Kuro swallowed the cookies and sighed. After everything that had happened during the past few days, seeing Hyde was about the last thing in the world he wanted to do. Well, the second-to-last. Running into Tsubaki again would still be a tiny little bit worse, but it was a close competition.  
  
"He won't listen to ya," he ventured, knowing this was never enough to stop Mahiru's iron determination but refusing to give up without at least saying something. "That guy won't do it."  
  
"We won't know until we tried!" Mahiru finished cleaning, wiped his hands and took off his apron, walking over to Kuro to stand right in front of him, meeting his gaze. "I'm sure there's some way to convince him. I'll do the talking if you don't wanna talk to him, okay? And one way or another you can come along and see the play." He smiled. "You've earned it."  
  
Kuro wasn't entirely sure what part of seeing some random play was worth earning in the first place, but Mahiru's eyes convinced him. He still wasn't keen on seeing Hyde again, but all he'd do was watch from the crowd. It wasn't like he'd have to talk to him or anything. And even if he cared nothing about some random play, he could always use the time for a nap.  
  
"What a pain..." he mumbled and got up. "But you do all the talking."  
  
Mahiru's smile grew wider. "Great! Then let's go or we'll miss the beginning. Ryuusei and Koyuki told me they'd watch it too, so maybe we'll meet up with them and then the four of us can watch it together! How does that sound?"  
  
Kuro shrugged and followed him through the hallways. Honestly speaking, it still didn't sound too great. Hyde was still Hyde, he didn't care about some stupid play, and having to share Mahiru with his two friends meant having to endure a lot of suspicious glares from them. He was pretty sure the entire school had heard the story of him almost punching Tsubaki by now. And yet here he was.  
  
Damn this pushy, annoying workaholic. It was simply impossible to say no to him.  
  
\---  
  
The gym had been transformed into a theater. All the windows had been covered up, rows upon rows of chairs stood so closely that it was next to impossible to make one's way through the place at all, and the lights pointed to a stage that was still hidden behind a thick curtain. Dozens and dozens of people filled the rows down to the very last place, and still others came crowding in, sitting down on the ground or standing with their backs against the walls. The play hadn't even started and it was already a success. For the box office, anyway.  
  
Mahiru was more than glad that Ryuusei and Koyuki had reserved two seats for him and Kuro, because otherwise they would have been stuck sitting on the ground or standing too. Not that he himself would have minded either too much, but he was fairly certain Kuro would change his mind about watching the play if he had to spend the entirety of its ninety minutes standing up. As it was, the delinquent was slumped in his seat, already nodding off in spite of the noise around him, visibly exhausted from his job as a waiter.  
  
Smiling to himself, Mahiru leaned forward to take a look at Kuro's tired but peaceful expression. _Sleep, Kuro. You've earned it._  
  
He just wondered where Sakuya was. He wished he could have watched the play with all of his close friends, not with one of them missing without even telling anyone where he had disappeared to. Was his best friend growing more distant somehow, or was it just his imagination?  
  
 _Maybe it's my fault,_ Mahiru thought with a pang of guilt. _I've been spending so much time with Kuro lately, it feels like I've been kind of neglecting my other friends. I'd be disappointed too if I were him._  
  
He shook his head. No need to overthink things. He'd always been good at managing himself; he could manage to spend enough time with everyone without neglecting anybody. Of course Kuro needed a lot of attention because he was just so helpless, but there was no reason why he couldn't hang out with him _and_ the others. Maybe they'd even warm up to him. All he needed was to talk things out with his friends and be done with it.  
  
Of course, that still didn't explain where Sakuya had disappeared to.  
  
Mahiru sighed, driving the nagging worry out of his head. This _was_ Sakuya he was talking about; knowing him, he'd probably decided to take a look at all the classes' attractions and gotten sidetracked, or maybe someone had approached him and asked him to hang out with them. Sakuya was pretty popular, after all. As long as nothing bad had happened to him, there was no need to worry.  
  
Many rows further back, leaning the back of his head against the wall, Sakuya was hoping and praying that Mahiru wouldn't see him.  
  
The lights went out, and suddenly there was no more room for anything besides the play. All conversation fell silent in an instant as everyone's eyes locked on the stage, watching the curtain slowly open to reveal the first scene.  
  
The play surpassed all of Mahiru's expectations. He'd always known that Hyde was a good actor - he was the head of the drama club for a reason, after all - but all the other members of 2-A were doing just as great, and Licht and a handful of others accompanied the story with some of the most beautiful music Mahiru had ever heard. 2-A was playing _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ \- knowing Hyde, it probably wasn't his favorite Shakespeare play but he wouldn't let anyone notice, pulling the audience in with a performance that made Mahiru wonder if this was really the Hyde he knew. He turned into a whole different person when he was acting.  
  
Mahiru was so invested in the play that he didn't notice Kuro falling asleep in his seat until a weight leaned against his side.  
  
He jerked his head around only to find Kuro propped against him, fast asleep, his head resting on Mahiru's shoulder. His breathing was calm, his expression peaceful, relaxed, almost happy. Stray strands of blue hair tickled Mahiru's neck. The side he was leaning on felt warm, and even though Kuro was heavy, Mahiru found that he didn't really mind the weight too much.  
  
Kuro's expression reminded him of the time when they had tried to pull an all-nighter and he had woken up to find his classmate sleeping in his chair, the finished project in front of him. Back then he hadn't been able to see his friend's face, but he imagined it to have looked a lot like the expression he was wearing now, all traces of worry and annoyance wiped from his face, smoothing out his face into an almost tender look. He looked younger without his eternal frown, more innocent. Vulnerable, even. Nothing like the infamous delinquent everyone had come to fear.  
  
He looked... exposed. Kuro was defenseless in this state, and yet he exposed himself to Mahiru like that. Did that mean he trusted him this much? Did he know that Mahiru would never make use of his vulnerability?  
  
The thought made a fond smile cross Mahiru's face. Kuro trusted him. For some reason that was a nice thought. Kuro didn't seem like the kind of person who trusted people easily, and yet Mahiru had managed to gain his trust. Maybe... maybe his situation would improve from now on, and this was only the beginning. Maybe he'd start to open up, not just to Mahiru but to everyone, and gradually get the love and respect he deserved.  
  
Still smiling with affection and a little pride, Mahiru wrapped an arm around Kuro's shoulders, steadying him as he pulled him closer. He could feel Kuro's heartbeat under his fingers, a calm, steady rhythm, and he found his own heartbeat matching its speed until they were in perfect sync.  
  
Mahiru didn't even notice that Ryuusei and Koyuki had taken their eyes off the stage and were watching them. And neither did he notice that Hyde could see them, sitting together like a pair of lovers, and formed his own conclusions even as he put on his performance.  
  
\---  
  
This was the moment Hyde had been waiting for.  
  
He made a grand gesture as he took a bow, feeling the bright lights shining down on him and him alone, hearing the clapping and cheers and whistles from the crowd, and felt alive. He lived and breathed the applause, the feeling of having pulled the audience in, being the center of attention, the bright, ecstatic feeling of being a star, even if it only lasted for a few moments. He had succeeded again. The crowd loved it, and he loved that the crowd loved it.  
  
Taking another bow, he was just about to make his way off the stage when his eyes lingered on Licht, still sitting behind his grand piano, back straightened with unbending pride. The crowd couldn't see him, hadn't seen him at all in his spot away from the brightly illuminated stage.  
  
An idea crossed his mind. Grinning, Hyde turned towards his classmate and gestured for him to come up and join him.  
  
Licht flipped him off.  
  
Hyde pouted, but the disappointment only lasted for a moment as his pout was quickly replaced by another grin. "Thank you, thank you!" he shouted out to the crowd. "Now, let's welcome another guy on the stage, a guy who played a lead role even though you haven't seen him yet! You can call him the super cool Angel of Music!" He pointed at Licht, whose expression shifted from irritation to annoyance to rage in mere seconds. "Looks like he's kind of shy though! Come on, Lichtan, no need to be shy-"  
  
He didn't get any further because at that moment Licht came storming onstage, murder in his eyes, and would have kicked him into tomorrow if he hadn't been yanked back by Crantz, who pushed both of them down into a bow with an apologetic smile and dragged them backstage.  
  
"What do you two think you're doing?" he scolded them as soon as they were clear. "Causing trouble for 2-B's café during rehearsals is one thing, but this is the school's _culture festival!_ The way you act here will reflect back on the entire school's image, do you understand that? What were you thinking, starting a fight right there on the stage of all places? Everyone worked so hard to make this a good play and you just _have_ to ruin it!"  
  
Hyde folded his arms, pouting as he shot a glare in Licht's direction. "He started it!" he tried to defend himself. "I just wanted to give Angel-chan the recognition he deserved."  
  
"You called me shy, you son of a-"  
  
"Licht! Language!"  
  
"I'm never shy, you stupid rat," Licht continued, completely ignoring the interruption. "Why? Because I'm an angel."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, an archangel descended from Heaven." Hyde smirked and dodged the kick Licht threw at him. "We all know, Lichtan, we all know- _whoa!_ "  
  
He failed to dodge the second kick Licht sent his way, catching it right in the face, stumbling back, tripping, falling down three steps and crashing right into the door, which opened at that very moment, throwing him forward again until he came to rest in the corner, lying on the dusty floor between a box of old costumes and a stray plastic mask. "Ouch..."  
  
"Serves you right," Licht grumbled, glaring in his direction.  
  
Crantz looked like he was just about to launch on a lengthy speech about the dangers of Licht's attack when his eyes came to rest on the pair who had just opened the door and was now standing in the entrance, looking baffled as could be.  
  
Mahiru was the first to find his words again. "Um..." he stammered, looking from Hyde to Licht and back again. "What... just... happened?"  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro mumbled into the general direction of the chaos in front of them.  
  
"Wha- Did you fall down the steps?" Mahiru shook off his astonishment in favor of worry as he rushed over to help Hyde up. "You okay there?"  
  
"I'm... fine." Hyde raised his head from the inch-thick layer of dust on the floor, coughed and scrambled to his feet, rubbing all the various spots he had bruised during his fall. "Geez, Angel-chan, so violent! That one could've killed me you know!"  
  
"You're still alive though! Maybe I should do it again."  
  
"Lichtan, you jerk! Don't make it sound like you actually want to kill me, we both know you'd cry if I died!"  
  
"Shut up, stupid rat! Die until you die!"  
  
Mahiru blinked back and forth between them, his expression gradually shifting from surprise to mild annoyance. "Kuro..." he said to his friend, who was still standing around pretending he had nothing to do with the whole mess, "are they really ignoring us?"  
  
"What a pain," Kuro mumbled, sighing at Licht and Hyde's antics and Mahiru and the entire ridiculous situation. "Looks like a job for ya, class rep."  
  
Mahiru groaned and took a deep breath. "Hey! We're trying to talk to you here, so shut the hell up already!"  
  
Oddly enough, it worked.  
  
Licht and Hyde fell silent in an instant, turning to blink at Mahiru, who had put up his head-of-the-disciplinary-committee glare, his hands resting on his hips. "Hyde... you're a former Servamp, right?"  
  
Hyde opened his mouth to reply something, but Mahiru got straight to the point. "Please join forces with us to stop Tsubaki."  
  
There was a moment's silence.  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro muttered under his breath. "You never took any rhetoric classes, did ya?"  
  
Hyde gaped at Mahiru for a second before an ill-boding grin spread across his face. "You want me to join forces with big brother?"  
  
"Look." Mahiru could feel that this wasn't going to be easy, but he wasn't about to back down just because of that. "I know you and Kuro don't get along, and I know something happened between you two in the past and I have no idea what it was, but is it really so bad that you can't work together for some time? Tsubaki doesn't care if you've cut all ties with the gang, if you're a former Servamp he'll still try to come after you. And... we need every ally we can find. As the saying goes, the enemy of your enemy is your friend, so thinking simply... if Tsubaki's an enemy to all of us, why don't we all work together to stop him?"  
  
Hyde's grin was unwavering. "You say you need everyone you can find to defeat Tsubaki? You already have enough people to do that." He pointed at Kuro. "Big brother alone should be more than enough... oh wait." He stepped closer, looking Kuro straight in the eyes. "You can't do that anymore, right? Not like you are now."  
  
Kuro clenched his fists in silence.  
  
Mahiru stared at them in disbelief. "Kuro... could defeat Tsubaki? Alone?" Was Kuro that strong? Of course, the rumors had made him out to be virtually unbeatable, but when he had been confronted with Tsubaki the other day he'd been horribly outmatched. Had he been holding back? Was something holding him back? Or was Hyde just making things up to get rid of Mahiru?  
  
No, that couldn't be it. Kuro's reaction was more than enough proof that it had to be true.  
  
The delinquent's hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white, but Mahiru could still see them trembling. His eyes were glowing with a dark fire, flickering with danger and silent fury.  
  
But... there was also something else to them, something that sent chills down Mahiru's spine. It was guilt... no...  
  
It was fear.  
  
 _Do something._ Mahiru wasn't sure if the voice in his head was his own subconscious or the message Kuro's eyes seemed to send him, but he knew it was right. _Do something before a fight breaks out. Do something before it gets out of hand._  
  
"Hyde..." His voice came out raspy, but he went on, swallowing his own fear. "I don't know what makes you think that, but Kuro couldn't hold his own against Tsubaki the last time around. You can't just expect him to face him alone and do nothing!"  
  
"Alone?" Hyde parroted right back at him. "You've got Lust, Pride and Envy with you too, right? Oh wait, those aren't their names anymore. And Wrath and Gluttony didn't show up to your little reunion, right? I don't think they've forgotten, big brother."  
  
Kuro looked ready to lunge at Hyde, but Mahiru jumped between them. _Not good. Not good at all._ What was wrong with these two? What had happened between them? What was this incident Hyde kept referring to, the one that made Kuro so furious? The one... that had divided the Servamps into two sides?  
  
He shook off that thought. No time for that now. Kuro didn't want him to know, so he wouldn't ask. Not until Kuro was ready to tell him.  
  
Still, he had to defuse this situation before it turned into a fight. Now.  
  
"Licht!" he exclaimed, his eyes and voice pleading. "Why don't you talk to him? If you join us, maybe he will too... I mean, you guys do everything together, right? And it's better for him too if he has allies..."  
  
"Hey." Licht's voice was cold, sharp and merciless like a blade cutting through the tension. "So you're looking for allies, and then what? What do you wanna do when you've gathered everyone? Do you have a plan?"  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth to tell him that he obviously had a plan, but the words got stuck in his throat. Licht was right, he realized. He didn't know what he wanted to do. What should he even do? Attack Tsubaki openly? Gather information first? Stay on alert until something happened again?  
  
What was his plan?  
  
"I'll... come up with something," he heard himself say, more to reassure himself than anything else. " _We'll_ come up with something. All of us. Together."  
  
He didn't have to see the look in Licht and Hyde's eyes to know they weren't convinced at all. Truthfully, neither was he. But still... he couldn't give up here! He had to get them to join, for their own sake too. Somehow he had to change their minds. Somehow...  _Think, think, think!_  
  
It was no good. His mind was blank.  
  
"So... if I got everything right, this Tsubaki wants to attack all the former Servamps?"  
  
Mahiru looked up to find Crantz returning his gaze with curiosity and worry. Could it be... could he be getting help from the one side he hadn't expected it from?  
  
"That's right," he nodded. "If I understood him correctly, anyway."  
  
"And their friends? Is he... is he planning to hurt them too?"  
  
Mahiru saw the look in the teacher's eyes and understood. Crantz was worried for his two favorite students' safety, wasn't he? "Probably," he admitted. "He never really said it directly, but he attacked me too when I was with Kuro, so..."  
  
"Is he strong?"  
  
"...yeah." Pictures of Kuro's fight against Tsubaki and Berukia flashed through Mahiru's mind, and he shuddered. "Definitely stronger than Kuro and me. And we don't know how many allies he has." _At least one._  
  
Crantz paled, but his expression was firm, determined. "In that case," he declared, addressing Licht and Hyde, "you two will have to join with the others and stop him before he attacks you all alone and something bad happens. _Compris?_  And no playing the prima donna!"  
  
Licht scoffed. "I'm not joining anything."  
  
"That's right!" Hyde cheered. "Angel-chan is strong enough to defend himself on his own! That's our awesome Angel-chan for you... _ow!_ " He rubbed his face where Licht had kicked him.  
  
Crantz smiled apologetically. "Don't worry, I'll convince these two eventually, they're just a bit stubborn. Licht's music is a treasure to the world, we can't endanger that by taking any risks!"  
  
Mahiru had no idea what exactly Crantz meant by "a treasure to the world," but that didn't matter now. He wouldn't have to convince these two alone, and Crantz knew how to handle them. Licht and Hyde would join their side, sooner or later.  
  
Smiling with gratitude, he bowed, gesturing for Kuro to do the same. "Thank you very much! If you have any more questions... just ask me. I'm usually in 2-B's classroom or the cafeteria."  
  
Nodding to Licht and Hyde, who still didn't look overly enthusiastic about the idea, he turned and walked back out, closely followed by Kuro. A wave of relief swept over him. "Well, I'm glad we got that done!" he sighed, smiling a tired but happy smile. "Thank goodness Mr. Crantz is so nice, I don't think I would've gotten through to them by myself. And now we're getting more allies! Isn't that great, Kuro?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer. His eyes were still dark, staring off into the distance, locked on something that wasn't there. A dark cloud seemed to have hung itself over his head, casting a dark shadow on his face. He looked remote now, far away, even though he was right here, so close that Mahiru could touch him if he reached out his hand a little.  
  
"Kuro...?" he asked softly, hesitantly, trying to meet his friend's gaze. "Is... are you okay?"  
  
Kuro blinked, and the dark cloud dissolved into nothing, leaving only the faintest shadow behind. "I'm fine," he mumbled, yawning. "Just kinda tired."  
  
Mahiru looked at him and didn't feel entirely convinced. Sure, he was back to normal now, or at least he was acting normal again. But... for some reason he _felt_ different. Like there was still something he was hiding, something he didn't want to talk about. Something that was bothering him.  
  
"Okay," he said, hoping that he didn't sound as worried as he felt. "Well, it's been a long day. Go get some rest."  
  
Kuro nodded and was about to leave when Mahiru called after him. "Oh, and Kuro?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You might wanna take off those panda ears first."  
  
\---  
  
At first glance, the classroom was empty. The cleanup crew had already finished their work, and all the chairs and desks-turned-tables had been rearranged into their usual order. Plates, tablecloths and menus were long gone. Someone had even turned off the lights, and only the last rays of the setting sun illuminated the place. It looked like nothing special had ever happened here.  
  
Tetsu blinked into the room, wondering if he should go in. He had actually hoped to say hi to Mahiru, but his friend was nowhere to be found, just like the entire rest of his class. Looked like he'd arrived a little late.  
  
He was just about to turn and leave again when his gaze fell on the small figure curled up on a chair in the corner, leaning his back against the wall, hidden from the rays of orange falling in through the windows. Tetsu could detect a mop of purple hair among the mess of limbs, as well as a single strand sticking up like an antenna. Misono.  
  
"Senpai?" he asked softly, stepping into the classroom. "Misono-senpai, you okay?"  
  
No answer. Misono just shifted slightly in his chair.  
  
Tetsu walked closer, looking at his upperclassman with mild concern. Misono was fast asleep; his breathing was calm and even, his shoulders rising and falling gently, the hint of long lashes peering out from behind an arm and a drawn-up knee. One hand was still clutching an open book whose cover Tetsu couldn't even begin to understand; it was in some foreign language, probably French or something. Next to him was a plate with a half-eaten slice of chocolate cake, the fork dropped carelessly onto the table next to it.  
  
Misono shifted again, raising his head a little so his entire face came into vision. His features were so smooth, Tetsu realized. His lashes seemed even longer now, fluttered shut even as his eyelids shifted in some dream only he knew the content of.  
  
He looked... pretty.  
  
"You have chocolate on your face," Tetsu said quietly, rummaging through his pockets, taking out a tissue and wiping Misono's face. "Decide if you wanna eat or sleep, munchkin."  
  
It was strange. Tetsu wasn't the type to think too much about stuff like that, but even he knew that it was weird to wipe another person's sleeping face like that, especially when said person was little more than an acquaintance. If Misono woke up, he'd probably get annoyed and yell at him for it. But... looking at him like that, Tetsu just couldn't leave him here, all alone, sleeping in a cramped position with chocolate and crumbs on his face. Maybe Hugh would call it "protective instinct" or some other fancy word like that. But Tetsu wasn't Hugh, and all he knew was that Misono looked helpless and pretty and he needed to help him a little.  
  
"Hey," he said, shaking him gently. "Senpai, wake up."  
  
Misono groaned, not opening his eyes. "The usual breakfast please, Lily... five more minutes..."  
  
Tetsu shook him again. "Wake up, midget. You're not at home. Hey!"  
  
"Wha- Who- Where- huh?" Misono's eyes fluttered open as he took in the scene around him, his senses roaring to life in a split second. "S-Sendagaya! What are you doing here? What am _I_ doing here? And... _who did you just call midget, you bastard!_ "  
  
"But you _are_ a midget." Tetsu blinked back at him, slightly taken aback by the storm of questions. "You're kinda small."  
  
Misono scoffed. "True greatness isn't measured by height anyway. So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the first-years where you belong?"  
  
"I was looking for big bro Mahiru," Tetsu answered, the insult in Misono's voice flying right over his head. "So I came here and found you snoozing in the corner, you okay? You should go to bed if you're tired, senpai."  
  
Misono scrunched up his face. "I was only meaning to rest for a moment, I never meant to fall asleep here. My position today was exhausting you know, being head of the advertising team meant having to handle all the imbeciles. I thought for sure I was going to suffocate from all the stupidity around me."  
  
Tetsu's eyes lit up. "So all those posters and stuff were your idea? They were really great!"  
  
"Of course they were." Misono blushed and cleared his throat, a proud smirk crossing his face. "Unlike some people on my team, I know what I'm doing, after all."  
  
He looked like he was about to add something when his phone buzzed. Frowning, he took it out of his pocket, glancing at the message it displayed. His frown deepened.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tetsu asked just as his own phone chirped.  
  
"A message from Shirota. Apparently he talked to the former Servamp from 2-A and is close to recruiting him and his friend." Shaking off the last bit of sleepiness, he leaped to his feet and strode towards the classroom door. "Come on! We should go find him."  
  
\---  
  
 _How was your date?_  
  
Sakuya stared at his phone in confusion. It wasn't like Otogiri to text him first, or anyone for that matter, or to text at all unless it was truly necessary. Messaging him about something as trivial as this seemed nothing like her at all.  
  
How did she know about this so-called date, anyway? Had Tsubaki told her? No, then she would just have asked him and not bothered texting Sakuya about it. Had he said anything about a date before going off to look for Sakuya? Unlikely. He had seemed genuinely surprised at the idea that their little theater outing could be seen as one.  
  
So why?  
  
 _it wasnt a date,_ he texted back, frowning. _why do u ask anyway?_  
  
Otogiri's reply was almost immediate, another highly unusual feat for her. _Tsubaki said he wanted to take you to see the play. You alone... he even refused to go with the rest of us. I guessed the rest._  
  
Sakuya's frown deepened. Tsubaki had wanted to see the play with him alone? He hadn't just asked him because no one else had wanted to go? Had Tsubaki wanted to be alone with him for some reason?  
  
He shook his head. Tsubaki had probably just decided that he had spent enough time with his other friends and decided that he should make use of the rare opportunity to hang out with Sakuya, seeing as they hardly ever spent time together because he couldn't let Mahiru know of their friendship. That had to be it. Nothing else there was to it, there was no way any of this could possibly have a deeper meaning.  
  
Still, if that was the case, why did Sakuya's heart beat faster at the thought? Why did the idea that Tsubaki had wanted to spend time with him alone make him feel like there was a butterfly dancing around in his stomach? Did he actually feel _happy_ that his annoying idiot friend seemed to have chosen him over everyone else?  
  
Had it been a date, after all? Had Tsubaki, consciously or not, intended it to be a date?  
  
Had _he_ intended it to be a date?  
  
Shaking off all these intruding thoughts with an irritated sigh, he typed a reply. He could always worry about the rest later.  
  
 _so maybe it was a date, idk. nothing special happened anyway._  
  
Otogiri grabbed her phone as soon as the screen lit up, taking in Sakuya's reply in a split second. So he was acknowledging that it had been a date? Her instincts had been right, after all. Admittedly, her instincts didn't exactly have a record of being right, considering the countless times she had paired up two guys in her head and nothing had happened between them, but this time was different. She knew the two in question well, and she could clearly sense that there was something between them. And she wouldn't miss a second of their story for the world.  
  
Smiling to herself, she tapped the Reply button and started typing. _Nothing special is enough,_ she wrote. _Tell me everything._  
  
\---  
  
"Jeje, aren't you going to read your new message?"  
  
Jeje glared at Mikuni, who continued to eye him with curiosity. Not that there was much of a point in glaring, seeing as his whole face was hidden under a stag of paper bags and Mikuni wouldn't care even if he did notice the glare, but he did anyway as a matter of principle. "Later..." he mumbled.  
  
"Why later? Do you want to read your message when I'm not looking? You're not hiding anything from me, are you?" Mikuni looked up at him in mock worry. "Who's texting you, anyway?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Come on, now, don't tell me my company isn't enough for you! You're not thinking of leaving me, are you?" Mikuni's expression shifted to a grin that was definitely too wide for comfort, mischief glinting in his eyes. "Or... are you secretly seeing someone? Do you have a girlfriend, Jeje?"  
  
Before Jeje could reply, he tackled him, snatched his phone from his pocket and ran away with it.  
  
Jeje chased after him, cursing him and his offspring and his offspring's offspring down to the seventh generation, and himself for being stupid enough to put up with a guy like this in the first place. Not that he'd had too much of a choice, but right now his decision seemed tremendously stupid to him.  
  
"Give it back," he demanded, trying and failing to wrestle the phone back from Mikuni's hands. "Give... me... my... phone... back."  
  
Mikuni kept dodging his attacks, always narrowly slipping from his grasp and laughing the whole time. "Come on, no need to be so secretive!" He jumped out of Jeje's reach and grinned like a Cheshire cat. "If you let me read your message I'll give you a raise. By, say, five percent?"  
  
Jeje hesitated for a moment, then he reluctantly dropped his hands and stepped back.  
  
Mikuni flipped the phone open, skimming over the message with interest. "It's from Lily," he said, half to himself. "He says that Mahiru-kun might have talked Hyde into joining... eh?" He stared at the message, trying to comprehend what he had just read. "Is he talking about the second-years? And joining what?"  
  
He scrolled further up and gasped. "Jeje!" he exclaimed, shooting an accusing glare at his bodyguard. "Why didn't you tell me your old gang was having a reunion?"  
  
Jeje mumbled something unintelligible, but Mikuni was pretty sure he heard the words "none of your business" again.  
  
"So that's why you went missing the other day? Sheesh, Jeje, you should really tell me where you're going! How can you call yourself a bodyguard when you keep wandering off to who knows where instead of actually guarding the person who hired you?"  
  
Instead of replying to Mikuni's question, Jeje simply extended his hand. "Give it back..."  
  
Laughing, Mikuni did as he was told. "Yeah, yeah."  
  
Jeje clutched his phone like it was a treasure, but his eyes remained on Mikuni. "So," he muttered, "about that raise..."  
  
"Raise? Oh, come on!" Mikuni smirked with mischief. "You didn't seriously believe that this little bit is actually worth a raise?" Bursting into laughter again, he dodged all the attacks Jeje threw at him with ease. "Watch out, Jeje! You'll end up hurting me for real!"  
  
When his bodyguard had finally calmed down, he also sobered up, his eyes darkened as a plan formed into his mind. "But really, Jeje, you should have told me about that. Your old gang teaming up to stop Tsubaki..." He stepped around a few desks, standing right in front of his bodyguard and raising his head to meet his gaze. "Would be a shame if we didn't take part in that."


	9. Enemy of My Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have a proposition to make."

After all the chaos that had happened yesterday, this morning really felt too normal.  
  
It was almost unrealistic. Up until yesterday the whole school had been buzzing with excitement, talking, preparing, organizing, setting up their attractions. And today, the whole thing was over. It was going to be just another day of school, like nothing had happened at all.  
  
Sighing, Mahiru threw back his blanket and sat up on his bed. Thinking about it wouldn't change anything, and besides, he should probably be glad that his life was mostly returning to normal. He was busy enough with school and Kuro and the whole Tsubaki thing.  
  
He yawned, stretched, got up, made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth, got dressed and checked the time. Still way over half an hour to drag Kuro to class in time. Perfect.  
  
It was strange, but he was actually starting to get used to getting up earlier and using up endless amounts of time to wake Kuro up every morning. It was annoying, sure, and he'd be ridiculously grateful if Kuro could stop being such a pain and get up at a reasonable time by himself, but it wasn't like he didn't enjoy the other's company, picking him up morning after morning to walk to class together. By now, it had become routine - no, almost a ritual. He half wondered if he'd miss it if Kuro ever changed.  
  
Not that it was likely to happen anytime soon, anyway. Kuro was still laziness incarnate, and that couldn't just change from one day to the next.  
  
Flinging his bag over his shoulder, he left his room, careful to lock the door (he didn't want anyone sneaking in again, after all; once had been enough, thank you very much) and made his way down the hallway to Kuro's room to knock.  
  
There was no answer. Of course. Mahiru would have been worried if there had been any reaction to the first knock.  
  
He knocked again, louder this time, but there was still no answer. Not even a sigh or a groan.  
  
Had Kuro hidden his head under the pillow again? Mahiru knocked a third time, even louder. "Kuro!" he called. "Kuro, open up, you need to get ready!"  
  
He waited and listened. Nothing.  
  
Okay, this was seriously weird. Kuro wasn't the type to open his door until Mahiru started physically flinging himself against it, of course, but normally there should have been at least some kind of response by now. Was this some new trick? Or... had something happened to him?  
  
Mahiru was just about to knock and call again when his hand hit the door handle, pushing it down. The door was unlocked; it yielded when Mahiru gave it a push, revealing a sight he hadn't expected to see.  
  
Kuro's bed was empty, the blanket folded neatly on top of it - well, as neatly as one could expect from Kuro, anyway. The curtains were all opened, an unnatural state for them to be in, especially considering Mahiru hadn't put a hand on them yet. Kuro's bag was missing, just like his shoes and, as Mahiru noticed upon further inspection, his entire school uniform.  
  
What.  
  
Could it be... had Kuro actually woken up by himself for once and decided that he could actually go to class without being forced to for once? Had he had a change of heart? Or had something bad happened?  
  
Unlikely. Even if Kuro had, against all odds, woken up early and decided to go to school, he probably still wouldn't have gone anywhere without waiting for Mahiru, or at least dropping by his room first. No matter what change of heart he might have had, Kuro still clung to Mahiru like a duckling clung to its mother.  
  
Which could mean only two things. Either something very, very bad had happened - no, most probably not. Kuro would never, ever have bothered to fold his blanket and draw the curtain if there had been an emergency.  
  
That only left the other option. There was something very fishy going on.  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth, ready to call for Kuro, when he heard a soft thud emerging from the closet.  
  
Sleepy red eyes blinked up at him when he threw open the door and glared at Kuro with the power of a thousand suns. "So..." he said through gritted teeth, "care to explain _this?_ "  
  
Kuro had apparently made himself at home in the closet. He was still in his PJs, curled up into a cramped position, trying to fit into the small space as well as he could. His head was resting on his school bag; his school uniform clothes were draped and heaped on top of him as a makeshift blanket. His shoes were half buried under his bare feet.  
  
"Ah," he said, his voice and expression infuriatingly blank. "You found me."  
  
"What do you mean, 'you found me?' What the hell is the meaning of this? Were you trying to hide or-"  
  
Mahiru stopped in his tracks as realization dawned on him. "You...!!" he burst out, still glaring at Kuro's utterly deadpan face. "You tried to trick me into thinking you'd already gone to class, just so you could skip and sleep in peace?"  
  
Kuro yawned and scratched the back of his head. "It almost worked."  
  
"Did not! I knew there was something fishy going on, there's no way you'd ever willingly go to class! Did you really expect me to fall for that? How stupid do you think I am?"  
  
Kuro groaned and shifted in the closet, trying to make himself more comfortable in the cramped space. "Do you want an honest answer to that?"  
  
Mahiru wanted to yell at him, but nothing came out. There was nothing sufficiently rude in his vocabulary to reply to this.  
  
Swallowing his fury, he grabbed Kuro's collar and yanked him upright. "Get up," he snapped. "Hurry up and get ready! And do it fast, or we're gonna be late again."  
  
"What a pain..." Kuro stumbled out of the closet, sat down on his bed and yawned. "Can't I get a day off, y'know, as a reward for thinking of such a good plan?"  
  
"Not in your wildest dreams!" Mahiru flung Kuro's school uniform in his face. "Now shut up and get ready for class already!"  
  
Kuro mumbled something unintelligible and padded off to the bathroom.  
  
When he came back a few minutes later he found Mahiru still standing in the same position he'd left him in, arms crossed, glaring daggers at him. "You have ten minutes to get dressed," he said sternly. "And no, I'm not letting you go back to bed! And no sleeping in class today, got that?"  
  
"Jerk." Kuro sighed and reluctantly started changing into his uniform. He didn't know why, but he felt like Mahiru was seriously mad at him this time; no need to anger him even more. "Why're you so ticked about that little trick, anyway?"  
  
Mahiru sighed in irritation. "Don't just disappear on me like that, okay? I almost got seriously worried!"  
  
Kuro tilted his head to the side, a questioning look on his face. "Almost?"  
  
The corners of Mahiru's mouth twitched as the full absurdity of the situation finally kicked in. He snorted, cracking a smile that was something between an amused grin and a genuinely fond, affectionate smile. Not even bothering to hold back the laughter welling up from his chest, he stepped over to Kuro, flinging a half-hearted punch at his face that missed its target by miles. "Then I remembered that you'd never make the bed if it was an emergency."  
  
Kuro honestly didn't know what to think of that, but Mahiru's laughter made him glad. His friend wasn't mad at him anymore. He never had been that mad in the first place, just seriously annoyed that Kuro had pulled a trick on him like that, disappearing without warning and making him worry for nothing.  
  
He looked at his classmate, the way his eyes closed when he laughed, the way dimples formed at the corners of his mouth, the way his entire face was shaped by amusement and relief and simple happiness, and regretted his prank already. Not just because it had failed. Well, that too, a little. But mostly he felt ashamed for trying to trick this guy, who was so good-natured and kind and had so much to give - a simple, honest guy like him, who had done so much for Kuro, still continued to do so much for him. He felt like an ungrateful bastard.  
  
 _Sorry, Mahiru. That stunt wasn't fair._  
  
He finished getting dressed, flung his bag over his shoulder and followed Mahiru to class without complaining.  
  
\---  
  
"So," Mikuni summed up, still scrolling through the messages in Jeje's phone, "if I'm not missing anyone this new group consists of five members of your old gang, yourself included, some first-year I've never seen before, the school idol pianist from 2-A - probably, that is -, my darling baby brother, and the head of the disciplinary committee. Right?"  
  
Jeje didn't say anything, which Mikuni took as a yes.  
  
"A head of the disciplinary committee and class representative who teams up with a gang." Mikuni shoved the phone back into Jeje's hands and picked up a pen, spinning it idly between his fingers. "Not only that, but someone who apparently tries to actively bring a disbanded gang back together." He laughed. "There sure are some weird people around! Right, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje didn't answer.  
  
Mikuni continued musing, not caring about his bodyguard's uncommunicative mood. "Shirota Mahiru-kun, is it? We should probably have a word or two with him before the student council meeting today. Can't let student council beat us to it, can we? They'll end up putting weird ideas in his head."  
  
Jeje stared at him through the holes in his paper bag mask, his expression blank. "You're a member of student council yourself."  
  
"I know, I know." Mikuni smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Still, I don't trust these guys as far as I can throw them."  
  
\---  
  
"Yumi-chan, have you seen Kuni-chan anywhere?"  
  
Yumikage looked up from his notebook to meet Tsurugi's gaze with an irritated glare. "Dunno," he snapped. "He's probably skipping again or something. And now shut up for a sec, I'm trynna copy Jun's homework here."  
  
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Yumi-chan, you should really learn how to do your own homework." Tsurugi pulled his lips into a disapproving pout. "After all, you can't always have Jun-chan hold your hand for everything, can you?"  
  
"One more word and I'll make you cry."  
  
Tsurugi shrugged off the threat like it was nothing. "More importantly, where did Kuni-chan run off to again? Most of the time he at least drops by for a visit in class, so why has he been missing all day today?"  
  
"Probably 'cause he hates your guts and can't stand being in the same classroom as you," Yumikage shot back. "Why did you make that guy your vice-president anyway?"  
  
"Because," Tsurugi replied with a smirk, "he's capable and it was the best way to keep an eye on Kuni-chan."  
  
"...He bribed ya, didn't he?"  
  
"Guilty as charged."  
  
"Why am I not surprised? Hey, Jun!" Yumikage waved a hand in front of his friend's face, who had just been trying to read a text for the next class. "Our student council president's corrupt as hell, don't ya have to say something to that?"  
  
Jun gave them both a long look before glancing at the clock. "Yumi... weren't you planning to copy my homework? The break's almost over."  
  
"Wha- oh _damn!_ "  
  
Tsurugi smirked to himself as Yumikage hastily returned to his homework and got up from his chair. "I'll go look for Kuni-chan," he announced. Lowering his voice significantly, he added, "After all, we still need to talk about the student council meeting later. I have to find out how much he knows about this... _issue._ "  
  
He really owed whoever had leaked that bit of information. Today's meeting was about to get interesting.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro? Hey, Kuro, wake up, class is over!"  
  
The delinquent jerked awake, blinking drowsily at Mahiru, who had grabbed his shoulders to shake him. "Already?"  
  
"What do you mean, already? And don't always sleep with your head on the desk like that, it's bad for your back!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Chill, Mom." Kuro stood up with a groan, reaching for his bag under the desk and glancing at Mahiru. "Let's get outta here."  
  
Mahiru nodded, and they left the classroom, turning to walk down the hallway. Kuro noticed that they had been the last ones in the classroom; even those on cleaning duty had temporarily vanished, probably to get supplies. But Mahiru hadn't left; he had waited for him and woken him up when he realized he wasn't going to wake up on his own anytime soon.  
  
They really did everything together now. Kuro had no idea how that had even happened or when exactly this had become normal to him, but at this point they were virtually inseparable. Even if Mahiru hung out with his countless other friends he always let Kuro tag along, and Kuro did because he had no one else to go to. He'd heard people joke that they were joined at the hip.  
  
He was actually kind of glad they weren't. Being joined at the hip with a workaholic early bird sounded like a living nightmare.  
  
Still, he kind of got where people got that joke from.  
  
Kuro was just about to walk down the stairs to leave the building when Mahiru suddenly stopped. "You go on ahead," he said when Kuro gave him a questioning look. "I have a student council meeting today. Class rep duties and stuff, you know."  
  
Right. They did so much together that it was easy to forget that Mahiru had duties to attend to, committees and councils Kuro would never willingly set foot in because their meetings would probably bore him to death. But Mahiru was still a class representative and head of the disciplinary committee, and that job consisted of more things than reassembling the Servamps and hanging out with Kuro.  
  
Oh well, no big deal. He'd just go back to his room and relax with some games or cat videos on YouTube and enjoy his temporary freedom from Mahiru's nagging about homework and studying for once. Some well-earned time off was just what he needed right now.  
  
"'Kay," he said, yawning. "Have fun at your boring meeting."  
  
"It's not boring! Well, for you, probably. But still, it's important!" Mahiru made a dismissive gesture and sighed. "Whatever, I gotta go or I'll be late. See y-"  
  
He froze, his eyes locked on something far above his head, his mouth hanging wide open. Kuro followed his gaze to find a figure sitting on the railing at the very top of the stairs, legs dangling over many feet of nothing but thin air. It was that guy Jeje had started bodyguarding after the Servamps had disbanded... what was his name again?  
  
"Mikuni-san!" Mahiru finally yelled out, voice meandering somewhere between shock and annoyance. "What are you doing up there, that's dangerous!"  
  
Mikuni smiled and waved, unimpressed. "Hello down there! If this isn't Mahiru-kun. That's what I call good timing! We're lucky today, aren't we, Jeje?"  
  
His bodyguard stepped out of the shadows, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but in that very place.  
  
"Don't be such a killjoy!" Mikuni laughed, apparently responding to something Jeje had said. "Abel agrees with me too, see?" He produced a stuffed doll from who knows where, holding it in his bodyguard's face.  
  
Mahiru pulled a face at the three of them. "Mikuni-san, did you want to talk to me about anything or are you just gonna continue playing with your doll?"  
  
Mikuni yelped and nearly fell off the railing, clutching the doll to his chest like it was a priceless treasure. "Don't look at my Abel like that! You looked up her skirt, didn't you? You pervert!"  
  
"You haven't changed at all, huh..." Mahiru groaned and massaged his temples.  
  
"Pervert," Kuro repeated, a spark of amusement in his voice.  
  
"Shut up! Are you a grade schooler or what?" Mahiru jammed an elbow in his ribs. "By the way, Mikuni-san," he called up the stairs, "mind coming down here to talk? Shouting through the whole staircase is a bit..."  
  
"Normally I'd tell you to come up," Mikuni shouted back, "but this time I'm making an exception." He inched sideways and slid down the railing, landing lightly on his feet like he had practiced this many times before. From what Kuro had seen of this guy so far, that wasn't even all that unlikely. Jeje followed him down the stairs, a dark cloud looming over his head.  
  
"Shirota Mahiru-kun," Mikuni said, taking another step towards the class representative, "I'll get straight to the point. I heard that you're trying to reassemble the Servamps to fight Tsubaki from 3-A?"  
  
Mahiru's eyes widened. He stared at Mikuni in surprise, the obvious question written all over his face, before his gaze strayed over to Jeje and understanding dawned on him. "That's true," he said hesitantly. Perking up with hope, he added, "Why, do you want to join too, Mikuni-san?"  
  
Mikuni smirked. His expression had changed completely; there was nothing left of the silly, lighthearted boy from a moment ago. It was dark now, mischievous... scheming. The hidden face of the student council vice-president.  
  
"I have a proposition to make."  
  
Mahiru glanced at him with curiosity. "A... proposition?"  
  
"Precisely. Mahiru-kun, you want to stop Tsubaki, but do you have a plan? Do you know how to fight? You need to gather information on him, the size of his gang if he has one, each and every one of its members, their strengths, weaknesses, plans, everything. You won't need everything you discover, of course. But knowledge is power."  
  
Mahiru nodded slowly, signaling for him to go on. Kuro could tell that he was listening with interest, pondering over every word.  
  
"It's the best way to protect and defend yourself and others," Mikuni continued, "including, by the way, my dear little brother. Not the only way - you'll have to learn how to stand your ground in a physical fight, you can't keep relying on Sleepy Ash here forever." Kuro bristled at the mention of his alias but said nothing. "And I could provide you with both. Knowledge and training."  
  
Mahiru frowned, considering Mikuni's words. "If...?"  
  
"If you want me to." Mikuni smiled again, not quite as innocently as before, but at least he wasn't smirking anymore. "I've been trying to work against Tsubaki and his gang anyway, seeing as they're messing with my treasured bodyguard," he gestured towards Jeje, who rolled his eyes underneath his paper bag mask, "and my baby brother and his best friend." His expression darkened again, a deadly smirk crossing his face. "They're a threat that should be eliminated as soon as possible."  
  
Kuro could feel Mahiru tense up next to him, sucking in the air with a sharp sound. "Eliminated?"  
  
"Just kidding!" Mikuni returned back to his usual silly self in a split second. "Stopping them should be enough. So, how about it, Mahiru-kun? Is it a deal or not?"  
  
Mahiru considered his words for a second before he nodded. "Okay. I'll be counting on you, Mikuni-san!"  
  
"Excellent! I'll talk to you about training and everything." Mikuni smiled from ear to ear and turned to leave. "See you around!"  
  
"See you a...?!" Mahiru stared at him in confusion. "Mikuni-san, are you not going to the student council meeting?"  
  
Mikuni's eyes darkened again. "I'd rather not," he said coolly as his smile turned into a mask threatening to crack and break apart to reveal the hateful scowl underneath. "The less I see of these people, the better. Oh, and Mahiru-kun - before I forget about it." He turned back around to step close to Mahiru, bowing his head and whispering, "Do not trust a single thing these guys tell you. Especially not Tsurugi-san. Kamiya Tsurugi is an enemy who should be defeated."  
  
He stepped away and disappeared around the corner.  
  
"O...kay." Mahiru stared after him, a confused frown forming on his face. "What the hell was that about?"  
  
\---  
  
Being late for class sucked.  
  
Being late for a student council meeting, where everyone was serious and important and some of the biggest names in the entire school would see him and the first-years would get a godawful first impression of him, sucked a million times more.  
  
Mahiru felt his face heat up as a dozen faces simultaneously turned to stare at him, some just looking curious, some openly contemptuous, others completely devoid of emotion, silently judging him. "Sorry," he stammered before hurriedly taking his seat and making a point of trying to look as small as possible. "I was, uh... delayed."  
  
He could feel Tsurugi's gaze on him, neither judging nor threatening - it was just _there_ , resting on him with what looked like mild interest but could honestly be anything for all Mahiru knew of the student council president. At first he blamed it on his delayed appearance; his explanation had been rather vague after all, and it was only understandable that people would want to know why the ever-punctual Shirota Mahiru had suddenly showed up five minutes late. But as the minutes ticked by and they switched from subject to subject, he realized that couldn't quite be it. Nobody could be curious about such a little thing for this long when there were so many other matters to mind.  
  
Mikuni's words came back to his head. _Do not trust a single thing these guys tell you._  
  
 _Kamiya Tsurugi is an enemy who should be defeated._  
  
Should he listen to him? Maybe it was just a personal grudge speaking. The entire school knew that Mikuni and Tsurugi hated each other with a passion, so it was only understandable that Mikuni wouldn't want his friends to bond with the student council president. And they were so much alike that one calling the other untrustworthy or a bad person would be nothing if not hypocritical.  
  
...Right?  
  
Mahiru honestly didn't know who to believe anymore. He wished Kuro was there - so maybe the delinquent was naturally reserved and didn't like people too much, but he could probably have judged who to trust. Kuro would have known what to think, and he would have told him with his usual blunt honesty. But just when he needed him the most, the delinquent wasn't there, and Mahiru felt horribly unprotected.  
  
How had he ever gone by without Kuro? And when had he grown so used to his classmate's presence that being without him made him feel vulnerable?  
  
He pushed his thoughts back into the deepest corner of his mind. This really wasn't the time to ponder his emotions, not when he had Mikuni's words and Tsurugi's behavior to think about. Should he just approach the student council president after the meeting? Would that seem weird? Was he just imagining things, and Tsurugi wasn't staring at him at all?  
  
Well, there was only one way to find out right now.  
  
Mahiru raised his head and met Tsurugi's lazy golden gaze head-on, a silent challenge in his eyes. _I can see you staring. Stop right now or tell me what's up._  
  
Tsurugi returned the look, eyes narrowing as the corners of his mouth curled up into a feline smirk.  
  
Their staring contest only lasted for a moment before the student council president turned away, looking at the person next to Mahiru instead. The class representative of 2-A, Tsuyuki Shuuhei. Mahiru didn't know much about him; all he knew was that they had never been in once class, and that Shuuhei, like him, had already been elected class representative last year but, unlike him, seemed to hate the job. He wondered if there was any connection between him and Tsurugi or if the latter had simply picked him as his next staring victim now that Mahiru had noticed.  
  
Shuuhei didn't seem to react to Tsurugi's gaze at first, but then Mahiru noticed he was glaring at Tsurugi as if he was trying to telecommunicate some sort of message. Apparently the message reached the student council president, because he pulled a face.  
  
The meeting continued without anything unusual happening. To Mahiru, the whole scene felt almost surreal. What had all those looks been about? Was he just imagining things? What the hell was he missing?  
  
The minutes went by, and before Mahiru even knew what was happening he found Tsurugi dismissing the meeting with a lighthearted smile. They had spent the whole time talking about nothing but the most normal of subjects - discussing the results of the school festival and making the first plans for a sports tournament that was to be held in summer, along with a handful of boring organizational issues. So why had Tsurugi stared at him for so long? Had he just been bored? Did Mahiru have anything on his face?  
  
He was just getting up and ready to leave when Shuuhei walked over to Tsurugi with a stern look on his face. "You should talk to him now. You're the student council president."  
  
"Hmm..." Tsurugi pursed his lips in contemplation. "How much are you paying me for that?"  
  
"Nothing." Shuuhei adjusted his glasses. "It's a simple enough task."  
  
Tsurugi folded his arms. "If I don't get paid for it, I'm not doing it," he declared.  
  
"Aren't you, now." Shuuhei rummaged through his bag and produced a small notebook, opening it and looking through the pages. "Then how about you pay back all the money you borrowed from m-"  
  
"Okay! I'll do it! I'll do it! Not the money, Shuu-chan, you know I'm broke!"  
  
Mahiru found himself watching them with curiosity, shaking his head at the scene. As far as he could tell, there was nothing weird to their behavior - or rather, nothing that was weirder than usual in any way. It still didn't keep him from wondering how someone like Kamiya Tsurugi had been elected student council president.  
  
He didn't have much time to think about that, because the student council president in question was now approaching him. "Mahiru-kun... was it?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." Mahiru reminded himself not to get excited. Maybe he was about to find out what on earth all these looks had been about; he had a strong suspicion that it had something to do with the whole Tsubaki issue, but it might as well be something as banal as an ink stain on his face. "What is it?"  
  
Tsurugi blinked a few times, his expression mildly vacant. Then he turned his head, and over his shoulder he called, "Jun-chan, Yumi-chan! I don't know how to put this!"  
  
There was a sigh from the door, and a moment later two heads emerged from the doorframe, looking very tired and not at all surprised. Mahiru recognized Tsukimitsu Yumikage and Kurumamori Junichirou, Tsurugi's friends and classmates.  
  
"Shut up, jerkface!" Yumikage snapped. "You're just not motivated to do stuff for free, are ya? Don't make us do your job!"  
  
Tsurugi shot an accusing glance in Shuuhei's direction. "It's not my fault if Uncle Scrooge here refuses to pay me!"  
  
Shuuhei pretended to ignore him.  
  
Jun shook his head at all three of them. "Just let me do the talking," he sighed, stepping out of the door and walking towards Mahiru. "Mahiru, you can probably guess what this is about. I heard that you're putting the Servamps back together to go up against Tsubaki?"  
  
Mahiru nodded. "That's about right."  
  
He paused for a moment as the gears of his brain caught up with the situation, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. "Wait a minute!" he exclaimed, staring at the trio in front of him. "How did you...?!"  
  
Horror crept up on him, gripping his heart with icy cold fingers. If the third-years knew, then who else knew about his alliance with the Servamps? Did his classmates know? Did Ryuusei and Koyuki know? Did Sakuya know?  
  
Did the very people he had wanted to keep out of this the most know about his secret? And if they did, would they get involved?  
  
"How many..." Mahiru's throat felt dry, his voice coming out choked and hoarse. "Who else knows about this?"  
  
He had to know. Even if he dreaded the answer.  
  
"Relax," Jun said gently, smiling when Mahiru let out a breath he didn't even knew he'd been holding. "The only ones who know about this are the four of us, along with a select few others from student council. Your friends are safe."  
  
Mahiru allowed himself to relax a little. Not all was lost, yet. But that didn't explain everything. "Then how did _you_ find out?"  
  
Tsurugi smiled so innocently that Mahiru could practically see a halo over his head. "We have our sources," he chimed.  
  
"Who'd like to stay anonymous," Jun followed up hastily before anyone could drop a hint to the source's nature. "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, we've had Tsubaki on our radar for awhile - he's an infamous troublemaker after all, and rumor has it he's putting together a gang. You might have heard about it already."  
  
Mahiru simply looked at him, waiting for him to continue.  
  
Instead of Jun, it was Tsurugi who spoke up. "So we'd like to team up with you guys to catch him and his gang and stop them! ...Right?" He shot a nervous glance in Shuuhei's direction, who scowled but nodded in something akin to approval, before facing Mahiru again. "How does that sound?"  
  
Mahiru swallowed. On one hand, he needed every ally he could find. The three third-years in front of him all had a reputation of being exceptionally strong and clever, and Tsurugi was said to be unbeatable in a fight. And one way or another, it was always good to have the student council on his side when push came to shove.  
  
But he hadn't forgotten Mikuni's words. _Do not trust a single thing these guys tell you._  The student council vice-president knew them better than Mahiru did, and there was no way he could have released such a warning for nothing. And if _Mikuni_ found them suspicious, there really had to be something off with them... right?  
  
It wasn't like he could decide this by himself, anyway. He wasn't the leader of their group, nor did he have any responsibility that allowed him to make decisions like this over the others' heads. He needed to talk to them about this.  
  
"I... I can't say anything to that right now," he said, his voice unsteady but his resolve firm. This was right. He was doing the right thing. "I need to think about it first, and talk to the others, and then..."  
  
The sound of a key being turned interrupted him.  
  
Mahiru spun to find Shuuhei standing next to the door, key in hand, fixing him with cold, unfeeling eyes. "I apologize," he said coolly. "But I'm afraid you won't get the time to do that."  
  
\---  
  
"So what do you want from me?"  
  
Kuro glared at the first-year girl and the guy who was wearing way too many glasses for his own good. These two had somehow appeared in his room right when he'd curled up on his bed with his favorite snacks and a game, and now for some reason they were refusing to leave. Or let him leave, for that matter.  
  
"It's... not just about... you," Glasses explained, apparently completely unfazed by Kuro's less-than-happy expression. "We want you... to convince... Shirota Mahiru to... do something."  
  
Kuro felt a cold chill down his spine. Mahiru? They wanted something from Mahiru? Then why had they come to him? What could be so big or important that talking to Mahiru himself wasn't enough?  
  
"You've got it wrong," he said coolly, careful not to let the fear show in his voice. "Mahiru's the one who does the convincing. I'm the one getting convinced. Not the other way 'round."  
  
"We know that." Glasses adjusted the glasses on his head. "But... we... have orders. Don't let... you go until... you agree to work... with us."  
  
The cold hand of suspicion crept up Kuro's back and closed its icy fingers around his throat, cutting off the air. "Who's 'us?'" he demanded, his eyes turning to steel, cold and sharp and unforgiving. "Work with you on what? Who sent you guys?"  
  
"Student council," Freshman Girl explained. "But they won't tell us the details." She smiled sheepishly. "They say it's a big secret."  
  
 _Student council._ Kuro gritted his teeth, trying to block out the memories threatening to flood into his head. He knew these guys. He should've known that they were not to be trusted, should've warned Mahiru not to go to the meeting or gone with him. But he hadn't. He had thought that things would be fine, that it was Mahiru, that his friend had been a member of student council for the past year and that he'd just get by like he always had. And now these two were here, trying to convince him to convince Mahiru of something he knew nothing about himself. And he had no idea what had happened to Mahiru. Was he being kept somewhere, just like Kuro was? What in the world were these people trying to do?  
  
Leaping to his feet, he glowered down at his two guards, icy cold fury screaming murder in his eyes. "Where's Mahiru?"  
  
Freshman Girl shrugged with an apologetic smile. "I don't know," she admitted. "I'm pretty new to this place."  
  
"Shirota Mahiru is... still at the... meeting," Glasses explained, his voice calm as ever but his body tense, betraying the effect Kuro's deadly glare had on him. "He's... being asked the... same question... as you right... now."  
  
Kuro clenched his fists. It was too obvious what this was about. They wanted him as an ally to fight Tsubaki, him and Mahiru and the whole gang. They would do anything to get what they wanted, like they always did. Mahiru was being kept somewhere, all because of him. And he couldn't even go and help him.  
  
He lowered his head, feeling weak and helpless and incredibly lonely. _Please get out of there safely, Mahiru. I'll come looking for you as soon as I can._


	10. Option Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not working with you bastards. Now gimme my keys."

Mahiru stared at Shuuhei in horror. Then at the others, one by one.  
  
He'd been tricked.  
  
He'd been had, and now he was trapped.  
  
"What's the meaning of this?" he burst out, his voice trembling with shock and anger. "You can't just lock me in here! Open the door!"  
  
"I apologize." Shuuhei wore a mask of stone, cold and unapologetic. "But we won't let you leave until you have made your choice. Tell us now."  
  
Mahiru clenched his fists, feeling anger and disappointment and betrayal boiling under his skin, ready to explode at any moment. "What's the point?" he shouted, accused, trying to stare all of them down at once. "Are you trying to blackmail me or what? Guess what, that's the best way to make me say no! Like hell I'll work with guys who use dirty tricks like that!"  
  
He paused for a moment to catch his breath, reached for his bag and made his way towards the door. "Open up. I'm leaving."  
  
Shuuhei quickly stepped in front of him, barring the way. Jun and Yumikage each grabbed one of his arms, holding him back.  
  
Mahiru struggled, pushing, pulling, trying to break free. "What the hell?" he snapped. "What are you doing? I told you my answer already, so let me go!"  
  
"Not so fast." Tsurugi stepped around his two friends and reached out a hand, smiling. "The key please, Shuu-chan."  
  
Shuuhei placed the key in his hand.  
  
"We'll stay true to our word," Tsurugi declared, addressing Mahiru. "You gave us our answer, so you're allowed to leave. There's just a tiny little catch."  
  
He held out the key, dangling it in front of Mahiru's face, infuriatingly, painfully close. Mahiru struggled, trying to free his arms and grab it, but Yumikage and Jun's grips were made of iron, firm and unrelenting. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he watched Tsurugi pull the key back and slip it into his pocket.  
  
"You can have this," the student council president continued, perfectly unfazed by Mahiru's barely restrained fury. "As part of a trade. You get the key, and in return... we get to send a mail to everyone in this school. They need to be warned about the Tsubaki case, right?"  
  
Mahiru felt like he had been punched in the stomach. The air was sucked from his lungs. The ground below his feet shook and swayed as the edges of his vision went dark.  
  
"You can't," he gasped. "Don't... don't tell them about any of this!"  
  
"Oh right, your friends will find out! You don't want that, do you? I didn't think of that at all!" Tsurugi put on his most shocked face, but Mahiru wasn't fooled. He knew it was all an act. Tsurugi knew exactly what he was doing.  
  
"Please," Mahiru hissed through clenched teeth. "Tsurugi-san, please leave them out of this. Do whatever you want but... not this. They're not part of this! Why drag them into my problems?"  
  
Tsurugi smiled, golden eyes meeting Mahiru's brown ones. "If you don't want your friends to find out, you can always stay here."  
  
Mahiru struggled, trying to find something, anything that could get him the key, anything that could get Yumikage and Jun to let go of his arms, anything that could make Tsurugi change his mind. Nothing. It was hopeless. He was going to be stuck here forever until...  
  
A thought struck his mind, flooding him with hope. His face lit up with relief as he smiled up at Tsurugi, his voice filled with new confidence. "Fine," he declared. "I can stay here and wait. Sooner or later Kuro will notice that I'm missing, and he'll come looking for me. He knows where I am, you know? He'll get me out of here."  
  
"He won't come."  
  
Mahiru spun his head to glare at Shuuhei, who was still watching him with those infuriatingly cold, unsympathetic eyes. Anger and hurt exploded in his chest, anger that anyone could think such things of Kuro, that anyone could believe he was heartless enough to let his friend down when he needed him the most. "What are you talking about?" he burst out. "Of course he'll come! There's no way he'd just leave me in here! _I believe in him!_ "  
  
"Your faith in him is noble, but it won't help you." Shuuhei adjusted his glasses. "I'm not saying that he doesn't want to come, I'm saying that he cannot."  
  
Mahiru sucked the air in through his teeth. Kuro couldn't help him? What the hell was going on? What had happened?  
  
He clenched his fists, gritted his teeth, pushed and pulled and tried to shake off the iron grip on his arms, but it was in vain. "What does that mean?" he shouted. "What have you done to him?"  
  
"Don't worry, your friend is safe." Shuuhei leaned against the door behind him. "We only gave him some company, so don't expect him anytime soon. He's been told that you'll have to suffer if he moves."  
  
\---  
  
_Game over._  
  
Kuro sighed and tapped his phone's screen to restart the game. Again. For the third time today. He was trying his hardest, but there was no way he could concentrate with these two freaks invading his personal space and staring at him. He had tried to ignore them, to pretend they weren't there, hoping they'd get bored and leave, but they wouldn't move an inch. They simply kept staring at him.  
  
This strategy wasn't working. They wouldn't go. And he had to get rid of them somehow. He had to get out of here, had to go looking for Mahiru and see if he was alright, had to do _something!_  Anything. He couldn't just sit here not knowing what was happening to Mahiru.  
  
Of course, he could always grab the visitors, kick them to the curb and steal his room's keys back from them. He was strong enough to handle both of them, but there was no way he could do that. He had sworn never to hurt anyone again, unless the other had attacked him first. It was an oath he couldn't break no matter what.  
  
And he was pretty sure Mahiru wouldn't want him to hurt innocents either. Not even to help him. _Especially_ not to help him.  
  
And most of all, there was still their threat. If he made a sudden move, Mahiru would have to suffer for it. He didn't know what they'd do, he didn't even want to know, but no matter what he did, he couldn't allow Mahiru to suffer. If they did anything bad to him and it was Kuro's fault, he'd never forgive himself.  
  
What should he do?  
  
Should he give in and agree with student council's conditions? He didn't want to. The name alone was enough to bring back memories, guilt, a hatred that had festered in him for years. Never would he work together with them again, ever. They had caused too much destruction. They had fooled and used him and others too often. He'd never allow history to repeat itself.  
  
But Mahiru...  
  
A pang of guilt shot through him. Mahiru was still out there. He was being kept somewhere by the very same bastards who had tricked Kuro once. There was no knowing what they'd tell him, what they'd do to him to get him to agree with their conditions. Maybe they'd blackmail him. Maybe they'd keep him in that conference room until he agreed to work with them.  
  
Could Kuro really allow them to use their dirty tricks and have their way again?  
  
Could he allow all the things he had experienced to happen to Mahiru too?  
  
_Never._  
  
Swallowing down his hatred, he switched off his phone screen and sat up, facing his two unwanted visitors. "Hey," he said sharply. "You're gonna let me go if I say I'll work with you, right?"  
  
They looked at each other and nodded.  
  
Kuro sighed, discarding the last bits of hope and pride. "Whatever then," he mumbled. "Doesn't matter anyway. I'll work with you or whatever you want, so just... let me see Mahiru."  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stared out the window, his eyes fixed on the dorm building. He could see Kuro's window from here. He knew he could. If only he could tell which one it was. If only he could look inside and see what Kuro was doing, what this so-called company was doing to him. But he couldn't. It was too far away.  
  
Looked like he had to get out of this on his own. There was no relying on Kuro this time.  
  
But... what should he do?  
  
Should he let Tsurugi send the mail and exchange his freedom for his friends' safety? Maybe they'd stay out of this if he talked to them. Maybe they wouldn't be targeted at all if they didn't get personally involved.  
  
No, he couldn't do that. He couldn't take the risk. There was no way Ryuusei and Koyuki would allow him to protect them while they sat around and did nothing, and he didn't even want to think about what Sakuya would do. And it wasn't just his friends either. The whole school would get involved, and chaos would break out.  
  
There was no way he could allow that to happen. It was his responsibility not to let that happen.  
  
But what should he do then? Should he just wait until the others grew tired of guarding him and let him go? No, impossible. There was no knowing how long that would take, and even for that case they probably had a backup plan. He wasn't getting out of there just by waiting.  
  
Of course, he could always change his mind and agree to work with student council...  
  
He clenched his fists. _Never._ There was no way he'd work together with people who used unfair methods, and he especially wouldn't give in to blackmail.  
  
What should he do then? _What the hell should he do?_  
  
If only Misono was there. He was smart, Mahiru was sure his classmate could have come up with a plan, an opening, anything to get out of this. Or Mikuni. Maybe if Mikuni had been here, maybe none of this would have happened.  
  
But neither of them was around right now. Mahiru only had himself to rely on, and he didn't know what to do.  
  
He felt lost. Lost, angry and disappointed. Student council had betrayed him, and he had fallen for the trap hook, line and sinker. There was nothing he could do now. He was trapped, and one way or another he'd have to surrender. After all, it wasn't like he could just climb out the window and-  
  
_Wait a minute._  
  
Who said he couldn't?  
  
They were only on the second floor. It wasn't that high, and the window was unguarded.  
  
Yumikage and Jun had let go of his arms, too. They were standing in front of Tsurugi like a pair of bodyguards while the student council president leaned against the door next to Shuuhei. There was no way out here, but nobody was watching the other direction. Nobody would be able to catch Mahiru if he made for the windows.  
  
He swallowed, turned, and made a dash across the room.  
  
By the time the other four even realized what he was planning, Mahiru had already reached the window and was struggling to open it. _Please don't be locked. Please don't be locked._  
  
It wasn't locked, and it jumped open in no time.  
  
"Stop!" Jun exclaimed, hurrying after him. "Are you out of your mind? This is suicidal!"  
  
Yumikage turned and grabbed Tsurugi's collar. "Forehead, are you kidding me? Just give him the stupid key already before he breaks his neck!"  
  
Mahiru leaned out the window, glancing down at the twelve feet of thin air between the windowsill and the ground. It was still high, but he could make it. If he stepped on all the right ledges, he could definitely make it.  
  
Gathering his courage, he kneeled on the windowsill, setting one foot against the outer wall, then the other. Slowly, carefully, he let himself down, inch by inch, until he was only hanging from the window by the tips of his fingers.  
  
Jun stood at the open window and stared down at him in horror. "Stop this," he demanded. "Please, we only wanted your cooperation, we don't want anybody to get seriously hurt or killed! Come on. Tsurugi will give you the key back and not send the mail to everyone, and then you can walk out safely. Right, Tsurugi?" he called over his shoulder.  
  
Tsurugi didn't answer, and Mahiru couldn't see his expression.  
  
Jun sighed and reached out his hand. "Come on, I'll talk to him so come back up. Don't do anything stupid."  
  
Mahiru looked up at him and couldn't help smiling, couldn't help laughing at the fact that the very people who had tried to blackmail him a minute ago were now begging him not to do anything dangerous. "It's fine," he said. "I know how to climb, and I'm not sure Tsurugi-san would've agreed with your conditions anyway."  
  
With that he finally let go of the window and began his slow, careful descent down.  
  
\---  
  
The two student council kids blinked at Kuro, unable to process what he had just said.  
  
Freshman Girl turned to her upperclassman, her eyes wide as saucers. "Did you hear that too? Did he really just give in, without putting up a fight or anything?"  
  
Glasses nodded, too baffled to say anything clever for the moment.  
  
Kuro looked out the window and sighed. He hated doing this, he hated, hated, hated it. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him to take back his words, to not work with these underhanded, cheating bastards. This was wrong in so many ways.  
  
But Mahiru was over there somewhere. Kuro could see the school building from here, could see the part of the building where Mahiru's meeting had been. He had to be behind one of those windows now, unable to leave thanks to some nasty ruse student council had come up with to force him to cooperate. And Kuro had to get him out of there, even if it meant going beyond the impossible and teaming up with the very people he hated most in the world.  
  
On the second floor of the school building, a window was opened, and a figure began to climb outside.  
  
Kuro didn't even ask himself who this was, who it could be, why they should try to climb down the school wall when they could take the stairs. He just knew. Mahiru had gotten out of there. He hadn't let anyone talk him into something he didn't want to do.  
  
A wave of relief washed over Kuro. He didn't have to work with student council anymore. He didn't have to worry about Mahiru anymore. His friend was still in a dangerous situation, but now he could help him without making an impossible sacrifice.  
  
Standing up, he grabbed his visitors' collars and lifted them up in the air. "I've changed my mind."  
  
They stared at him in shock. "Eh?"  
  
"I'm not working with you bastards. Now gimme my keys."  
  
Before either of them could say anything, he pinned Glasses against the wall and wrestled his room's keys from his hand. The other boy was so overwhelmed that he couldn't quite process what was happening, let alone fight back, and the girl alone was no match for Kuro's strength. He unlocked his door, grabbed the two of them and roughly shoved them outside before leaving the room himself.  
  
"Nice try," he told them. "But you could only keep me that long 'cause I didn't wanna use violence. Remember that."  
  
With that he turned and made his way down the hallway. Now he just had to get to the school building before Mahiru fell down and broke any bones.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru hated to admit this, but in hindsight, climbing out the window might have been a mistake.  
  
Case in point, he was stuck eight feet above the ground, clinging to the school wall like a mutant spider, and had no idea how to go on from here. He couldn't see anything he could set his foot on, at least not without suddenly growing giant legs, flying or falling down and breaking something. But he couldn't climb back up either. He had no idea how he had even come down here in the first place, and even if he did somehow managed to make his way back up again, that wouldn't help him much because the window was closed.  
  
He groaned and tried his hardest not to look down. _Just great._  
  
Just because he had climbed the courtyard wall a few times with Kuro because they were late didn't mean he could climb anything, after all.  
  
What should he do?  
  
Should he call for help? No, that was pointless. There was nobody around who could possibly hear him, and even if someone did, they probably wouldn't be able to help. Should he just take the risk and jump the whole eight feet? If he landed properly maybe he could...  
  
No, no way. The ground below was uneven, there's no way even a trained pro could make a decent landing down there. All he'd do was break his neck.  
  
Then what the hell should he do?  
  
Mahiru's arms and legs started to feel numb. His fingers were cramping, begging to let go of the tiny crack in the wall that they were clinging to for dear life. If nothing happened then he'd fall down for sure.  
  
He closed his eyes, hoping, praying. It was all he could do right now. _Somebody... anybody..._  
  
"Even your way of hanging out is exhausting."  
  
Mahiru's eyes widened at the sound of the familiar voice below him. It couldn't be. Wasn't he supposed to be kept in his room by student council? How had he escaped?  
  
He looked down to meet a pair of red eyes returning his gaze. It was real. Kuro was really, truly here.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha, Kuro!" he snapped, annoyed at his friend's bad joke. "Shut up and help me get down from here!"  
  
Kuro sighed. "You're a real handful... how do you always end up in these messes as soon as I take my eyes off ya?"  
  
"It's a long story, okay! And are you really one to talk here? Now help me already, my arms are about to fall off!"  
  
"Chill, I see a way down." Kuro stepped closer, examining the wall. "Move your foot a little to the left... no, your other foot."  
  
Mahiru scrambled along the wall as Kuro told him the directions, inching closer and closer to the ground, slowly but steadily. He was glad Kuro was here, glad and grateful. His friend knew more about climbing walls than Mahiru ever would, and he could see cracks and ledges that Mahiru would never have spotted from his position. He would have been lost without him.  
  
Suddenly Kuro's directions came to a halt. Mahiru looked down to still find himself some six feet above the ground, and Kuro was looking up at him with a mildly puzzled look on his face.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to meet his classmate's eyes without twisting his head too far and losing his grip.  
  
"I dunno how to go from there."  
  
"You don't-" Mahiru stared at him, dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me? I'm only six freaking feet above the ground and _now_ you don't know the way down?"  
  
He gave an irritated sigh. "I guess I'll just jump then."  
  
"What a pain." Kuro sounded exasperated, tired and... slightly worried? No, that had to be Mahiru's imagination. "You really wanna break a leg that badly?"  
  
"Still better than hanging on this stupid wall for the rest of the week!" Mahiru shot back. "It's not that high, anyway. Now move back so I won't land on you!"  
  
Instead of obeying, Kuro stepped closer, holding out his arms as if he was trying to catch something big. "Drop down."  
  
Mahiru gaped at him. "What?"  
  
Irritation flickered in Kuro's voice as he replied, "Just do it."  
  
Mahiru hesitated for a moment, his fingers still gripping the cracks in the wall, then he let go.  
  
A pair of strong arms caught him, slowing his fall. Kuro stepped backwards to steady himself, tripped and stumbled backwards, nearly falling over but not once loosening his grip on Mahiru in his arms. He caught himself at last and just stood there for a moment, panting, as Mahiru tried to process what had just happened.  
  
Kuro had caught him in his arms. Kuro was carrying him, a steady grip that held him lightly even though he had to be heavy, especially after dropping down from a height above Kuro's head. Yet here they were, the delinquent holding him gently, as if he was some precious treasure he was afraid of breaking, without saying a word, without complaining.  
  
And Mahiru found himself realizing that it felt good.  
  
He could feel Kuro's heartbeat more than he heard it, racing at a mile a minute, still refusing to calm down after their dangerous stunt. The delinquent was holding him close, so close that Mahiru's right arm lay squeezed between his side and Kuro's chest, feeling the warmth and the pounding of his friend's heart. Kuro's hands felt soothingly cool against his skin, even through his clothes, gripping him like he was still afraid of letting go. Mahiru looked up at him and felt safe, protected. Nothing bad would happen to him as long as Kuro held him like this.  
  
Kuro's heart was still racing. It simply wouldn't calm down.  
  
"Hey," Mahiru said, nudging him a little. "Why's your heart still racing like that? This can't still be from the exercise... right? You okay?"  
  
Kuro didn't say anything, but Mahiru could have sworn that his cheeks tinged slightly pink.  
  
"Kuro?" he asked again, trying to meet his friend's gaze. "I... were you worried about me? You didn't have to catch me, you know."  
  
"Nah." Kuro turned his head to the side, staring intensely at the horizon. "I just caught ya 'cause it's still less of a pain than carrying you all the way to the infirmary. Now get down, you're heavy."  
  
"Well, thanks a lot!" Mahiru huffed. "Way to get my hopes up! And who are you calling heavy? It's not like I asked you to catch m-"  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that Kuro was holding him _bridal style._  
  
Blushing furiously, he leaped from Kuro's grip and stumbled to his feet, hurrying a few steps away. "What the-?!" he sputtered. "And why were you holding me like _that_ , anyway? What if somebody had seen that? People are already getting ideas as it is!"  
  
"It just happened." Kuro turned away, but Mahiru could still see how glowing red his face was. "Not my fault you're such a damsel in distress who lands like that."  
  
"Who are you calling a damsel in distress? I just un-damseled myself! I got out of there all on my own, and where were you?"  
  
Kuro dropped his gaze and said nothing. His expression darkened, guilt flickering in his eyes.  
  
"Kuro?" Mahiru repeated gently, taking a step towards him. "They threatened you, didn't they? They told you I'd be in trouble if you tried anything..."  
  
"They... they told you too?"  
  
"Yeah, they probably wanted to crush my spirits and get me to agree or something." Mahiru shrugged to shake off the lingering fear and anger. "They probably didn't expect me to pull off a stunt like this... okay, I didn't either." He laughed. "If it wasn't for your wall-climbing lessons whenever we were running late, I guess I would've been lost. Even more lost, I mean."  
  
Kuro's face remained gloomy. "What did they try to do?"  
  
"Send a mail to the entire school telling them about the whole Servamp thing if I didn't cooperate." Mahiru clenched his fists. "What were they even thinking, playing a trick like that? Do they think blackmailing people is the way to go?"  
  
"They've always been like this."  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise. "You... you know them?" he stammered, taken aback. "How?"  
  
Kuro turned away. "Long story."  
  
"You should've told me." Mahiru reached out and grabbed Kuro's shoulders, turning him towards himself again. "Is there anything else you haven't told me yet, Kuro? Anything I should know? Now would be the time."  
  
The delinquent dropped his head, staring at his feet, biting his lip. "There's a lot I haven't told you yet, Mahiru," he said softly, so softly that Mahiru almost didn't catch the words. "But... I won't tell you now, either. Some things are too big for you."  
  
Mahiru's grip on him tightened. The curiosity in him was protesting, rioting, shouting that he couldn't simply feed him that and nothing else, that he had to tell him everything no matter what, but he swallowed it down. Kuro didn't want to tell him because there was something he wanted to keep him out of, just like Mahiru didn't want his friends to know about Tsubaki and the Servamps, to keep him safe. If he was allowed to keep secrets from his friends to protect them, then so was Kuro.  
  
"Okay," he said gently. "I won't ask until you're ready to tell me about it. If this is something you wanna protect me from then I have no choice but to accept that."  
  
Kuro's cheeks dusted pink again. "That's not really it," he mumbled, covering half his face with his hand in a feeble attempt to hide his blush. "It's more like... every time you get involved in something it turns into a huge pain, so I don't wanna see you stick your nose in everything."  
  
Mahiru looked at him and understood. Kuro _was_ worried about him, despite his denial. His friend had worried about him when student council had caught him, and he had worried that he might fall off the wall and get hurt in his great escape, and even now that Mahiru was safe again Kuro was still worried, fearing that something might happen to him in the future, trying to protect him from some burden he wanted to carry alone.  
  
"Kuro..." He couldn't help it. He couldn't help but smile from the bottom of his heart, happy and grateful to have found a friend like that, thankful to have someone he could trust with his life. "Thanks."  
  
Kuro's eyes widened. He looked insecure, vulnerable as he swallowed and asked, "For what?"  
  
"Everything."  
  
Mahiru turned around, still smiling, and began to make his way across the school yard. "Come on, let's go back to the dorm. It's getting late."  
  
Kuro remained frozen in place. A thousand emotions whirled through him, a thousand feelings he didn't know the names for. Mahiru's gratitude felt wrong. His unconditional trust felt wrong. Kuro wasn't a person anyone could trust, not even Mahiru. If Mahiru found out about his past, what he had done, would he still trust him? Would he still like him? He couldn't imagine that. He couldn't imagine that even Shirota Mahiru, who was so kind and forgiving and honestly good-natured, would be able to forgive him for something like this.  
  
But at the same time, he was happy, happy and grateful and overwhelmed that he had met someone like Mahiru, someone who liked him despite all the scary rumors and his attitude and his laziness and his complete lack of social skills, someone who cared about him and trusted him like nobody ever had before. Someone who smiled at him like he was someone amazing, someone special, and not just some awkward loser trying to make his way through high school without any major damage.  
  
Kuro didn't know what to call the feeling stirring in his chest, but he did know that he was happy. Breathtakingly, indescribably, overwhelmingly happy. Shirota Mahiru was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he knew it.  
  
He didn't deserve a friend like that, but he could still take delight in having one.  
  
"Kuro? Hey! Kuro!"  
  
He snapped back to attention when Mahiru waved a hand in front of his face. "What are you waiting for? Let's go back."  
  
Still dazed, he nodded and followed his friend back to the dorm.  
  
\---  
  
Inside the student council room, there was a storm brewing.  
  
"So," Shuuhei addressed the others, his voice dangerously calm, "which one of you _blockheads_ forgot about the windows?"  
  
"Um, Shuu-chan," Tsurugi smiled a nervous smile, "I hate to break it to you, but you could've thought about that too..."  
  
Shuuhei shot a silencing glare at him.  
  
Yumikage rolled is eyes. "Hey, it's not like we thought he'd be crazy enough to jump out the window," he snapped. "We're normal people, not psychics!"  
  
"It doesn't matter now," Jun tried to dissolve the situation. "We failed, and we can learn from that failure and try again..." His voice faltered when he saw the others' expressions, and he fell silent.  
  
For an endlessly long minute, everyone in the room glared at each other without saying a word.  
  
The moment was cut short by a rush of steps from the hallway, followed by an impatient knock on the door. "Open up, it's an emergency!" they heard a familiar female voice shout. "The prisoner has escaped!"  
  
Shuuhei sighed the way only a long-suffering man under a giant burden could sigh, adjusted his glasses, and motioned for Tsurugi to unlock the door.  
  
Yosetsu stumbled in, breathless and disheveled, and immediately started talking. "Loki Loki Loki you'll never believe what happened! I swear we were watching him like you told us and he almost agreed with everything and then suddenly he changed his mind and just grabbed us both and stole the key and left and said that we only lasted that long because he didn't wanna use violence and then for some reason he kinda did and he was just too strong and scary and I..." She paused for a moment to breathe before opening her mouth to rattle on.  
  
Shuuhei held up a hand to silence her. "I don't understand half of what you are trying to say," he remarked, "but the hostage got away?"  
  
"Yeah I'm so sorry but it's not our fault I swear we were trying our best but he took us by surprise and then we didn't know what to do so we had to let him go _please don't be mad!_ " She bowed so low she nearly tripped and fell headfirst on the floor.  
  
Jun placed a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back upright. "Calm down, you're way too excited. You're talking at a mile a minute."  
  
"Sorry!" Yosetsu repeated before finally taking a look around the room, her eyes going wide with realization. "By the way, where's that boy you were keeping here?"  
  
They exchanged a glance, each trying to figure out who should tell her.  
  
"He got away," Yumikage spat at last.  
  
"Because we left the window unguarded," Shuuhei added in obvious irritation.  
  
Yosetsu blinked at them for a second as the message sunk in. "What?" she blurted out. "For realsies? He climbed out the window? From the second floor?"  
  
"Yes," Shuuhei said through gritted teeth, his voice shifting from irritation to annoyance. "Are you done stating the obvious? Then I suggest you add something of actual value to the conversation or leave again."  
  
"Shuu-chan! That's no way to treat a girl!"  
  
Yosetsu laughed. "It's fine, he's always been like that. Ever since middle school." She turned to Shuuhei, her smile turning back into an apologetic expression. "Just don't be mad, okay, Loki? We tried our best and we're both really sorry..."  
  
Shuuhei waved a dismissive hand at her. "Stop apologizing, it was a miscalculation anyway. Sleepy Ash and his new friend are both stronger than we anticipated."  
  
She beamed, thanked him and bounced off.  
  
"Alright," Shuuhei said, closing the door behind her and turning towards the other three. "Now let's all go separate ways before my headache gets any worse."  
  
As if on cue, the door opened again, slamming right into his back and knocking the glasses off his nose.  
  
"What is it?" Tsurugi addressed the opening door, trying not to laugh about Shuuhei muttering something about having been prepared and producing a cooling pad out of nowhere before crouching to retrieve his glasses. "Did you forget somethi-" His smile faded as soon as he saw the figure standing in the doorframe. " _Oh._ "  
  
"Oh," Mikuni said back, his grin looking like he had just bit into a lemon.  
  
The shock only lasted for a minute before a new grin spread across Tsurugi's face, wide with malice and oozing with poison. "My, my, if that isn't Kuni-chan! It's been _ages_ , I haven't seen you here all day! Did you miss me?"  
  
Mikuni returned the expression. "I counted every second I spent away from you, Tsurugi-san. I believe it's called 'counting your blessings.'"  
  
"But in the end you came back, eh?" Tsurugi took a step towards his vice-president. "Did you want to talk to me that badly? I take consultation fees you know!"  
  
"If I pay you enough, will you drop dead for me too?"  
  
"Well, aren't we talking quite big today, Kuni-chan! Can you even afford me? I'm not cheap!"  
  
"The result would be worth it."  
  
Tsurugi let out a mock gasp. "So mean! Kuni-chan, how can you treat me like that after everything we've been through? Have you already forgotten the beautiful days we spent together?"  
  
"The ones in your imagination? The only beautiful days in my memory are the ones I spent far, far away from you."  
  
Before Tsurugi could reply, Shuuhei spoke up, giving Mikuni a death glare over the rim of his glasses. "Why are you here, Mikuni-san?"  
  
"Ah," Mikuni said, as if only just remembering something. "Right. I actually came here to keep Mahiru-kun from doing anything stupid and teaming up with you lot..." He smirked triumphantly. "But looks like that wasn't necessary."  
  
He walked over to the window and opened it, looking down on the courtyard below. "Good thing to know that you're not invincible anymore now that I've left... can't have you all mixed up in this, you know?"  
  
"Mikuni-san..." Shuuhei glowered at him, his eyes dark with foreboding. "What are you plotting?"  
  
He turned around and smiled at all of them. "Nothing much."  
  
Tsurugi said nothing. He was watching Mikuni, observing each and every one of his movements, his gestures, his expressions, listening to his every word. His student council vice-president hadn't changed at all. He was still the same as always. The same as back then, when they hadn't been mortal enemies. When they had been friends, or whatever that... _something_ they'd had back in the day was called. That something that had never quite disappeared, not for Tsurugi. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, his feelings remained unchanged.  
  
So what had happened to Mikuni? Why had he suddenly changed his mind and cut everything off?  
  
He was still the same on the outside, so what had changed on the inside?  
  
Tsurugi had always thought that he understood Mikuni quite well. They had always been alike, two sides of one coin, reflections in the mirror, in perfect sync. In a way, they still were. But when it came to Mikuni's mind, the puzzling, incomprehensible depths of his thoughts and feelings, Tsurugi realized that he was at as much of a loss as everyone else.  
  
Did his former friend's sudden change of heart have a connection to the bodyguarding contract he made with that former Servamp, Jeje?  
  
Had Tsurugi been replaced?  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru shoved a stack of old tests away from himself like it was on fire. "These are a whole new level of horrible."  
  
The delinquent shrugged and carelessly pushed the stack of zeros back on his desk. "Studying's a pain y'know."  
  
"This is exactly why I told you not to sleep in class! And what's up with these joke answers? If you don't know the answer, at least own up and leave it blank!"  
  
Kuro shrugged again and yawned. "Big deal. You done rambling yet?"  
  
"For crying out loud, Kuro..." Mahiru placed his forehead in his palm, grimacing like he was fighting back a headache. "You do realize the exams are coming up?"


	11. Explanation Misinformation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought."

A knock on the door snapped Licht out of his thoughts. He tried to ignore it, but it knocked a second time. Then a third.  
  
"Angel-chan!" a familiar voice called in through the door. "Angel-chan, answer me! Did you fall asleep or something?"  
  
Cursing under his breath, Licht slammed his textbook and notes on his desk, stood up and stomped over to the door, throwing it open and glaring at Hyde. "Shut up, bastard! I'm studying."  
  
"Studying?" Hyde grinned playfully, either happily oblivious to Licht's barely-veiled anger or choosing to ignore it in a moment of exceptional stupidity. "Come on, Lichtan, studying's boring! Let's hang out and do something fun instead!"  
  
Without wasting another word, Licht slammed the door in his face and went back to his desk.  
  
Of course, the peace didn't last.  
  
"Lichtan!" Hyde called, banging at the door. "Don't just ditch me like that, you jerk! Open up already!"  
  
_Just ignore him. Keep studying and ignore him._  
  
"Come on, it's not like you've ever failed an exam anyway! Why do you keep trying so hard?"  
  
_Just keep studying and-_ oh screw it. Licht couldn't ignore him, not when he was spouting complete and utter nonsense like this. "It's because I study so hard that I keep passing, dumbass!" he yelled in the direction of the door. "It's all because of hard work! I deserve all my good grades, unlike you bastard!"  
  
"C'mon, what's with that goody-goody attitude?" Hyde shot back, sounding increasingly annoyed himself. "You think you're so great just because you work hard? What counts is the results! You're an idiot for wasting your energy when you could get it all the easy way!"  
  
"You're the one who's an idiot! A cheating, dishonest idiot!"  
  
"And you think you're the world's moral compass! You're a stuck-up prick, Angel-chan?"  
  
Licht stood up, rolling up his sleeves and striding to the door, flinging it back open. "I'll show you a stuck-up-"  
  
Someone cleared his throat.  
  
They both froze to find Crantz standing in the hallway, giving them both the death glare. "So," he asked in a deadly calm voice, "what's all this noise about?"  
  
\---  
  
"How did we end up like this?" Hyde flung his notes back on the desk and groaned. "This sucks!"  
  
"You started it!" Licht snapped at him. "Shut up, stupid rat, I'm trying to concentrate."  
  
"I don't wanna do this! It's so boring! I can practically feel my brain cells rotting away from the boredom!" Hyde leaned back in his seat and placed an open book on his face. "I don't wanna study with you, Angel-chan! Can we stop this already? I promise I won't cheat or start fights with Lichtan anymore! You know, aside from the bit that I never start any fights in the first place, he's just too sensitive-"  
  
" _Hey!_ "  
  
A pair of hands grabbed each one of them by a shoulder, straightening both their postures with an iron grip. "Shut up, both of you! If you have time to complain, revise your notes again! Or I'll make you do this every day until the exams!"  
  
They both yelped, grumbled an agreement and returned back to their studies, trying to sit as far away from each other as their shared desk permitted. Crantz sat in front of them, arms crossed, and looked incredibly pleased with himself and the world.  
  
\---  
  
Tetsu had been studying for the past half hour.  
  
Well, calling it "studying" was one way to put it. "Staring at the same notebook page for thirty minutes on end in the hopes that its content would eventually start making sense" was probably the more accurate description.  
  
So far, his strategy hadn't worked very well. The content of the notebook page was still as incomprehensible as ever, which was quite an achievement, really, seeing as Tetsu himself had been the one to write it down in the first place. He still had no idea what all of this was supposed to mean, let alone what it was for and how to remember it. Thinking wasn't exactly Tetsu's forte, but even he could clearly see that this strategy wouldn't get him anywhere.  
  
So he did what any good athlete would do in his situation: He changed his strategy.  
  
"Hugh?" he called, knocking on his friend's door. "You in there?"  
  
A shuffling of steps approached, and a moment later Hugh's head popped out of the door, looking up at Tetsu. "Welcome to my abode, old friend!" he greeted him. "What brings you here today?"  
  
Tetsu fumbled with his notebook. "I'm kinda stuck with studying, can you tutor me?"  
  
"I wish I could," Hugh replied sadly, "but alas, I am quite immersed in my own studies. You should find someone else to help you... I know! What do you think of that purple-haired young noble from 2-B? I hear his grades are the best in his year."  
  
"Misono-senpai, huh?" Tetsu's eyes went wide. "I see! Thanks Hugh, you always know what to do!"  
  
He turned around and went in search of Misono.  
  
His search didn't take him long. Tetsu found him sitting by himself in the chess club room, playing a game against himself. He was so immersed in the match that he didn't notice Tetsu coming in at all.  
  
Tetsu waited for a few moments before he spoke up. "Uh, senpai?"  
  
Misono jumped with surprise, knocking over his chessboard. "Wha-?!" he burst out. " _Sendagaya!_ Don't sneak up on me like that, you idiot!"  
  
"Sorry." Tetsu rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You were just so focused... Why're you here, anyway? I thought there were no club activities 'cause of the exams and stuff?"  
  
"Of course." Misono regained his composure, replacing his shocked and irritated frown with a proud grin. "But given my grades, I don't need to study anyway, so I might as well give my brain some real exercise." He threw a regretful look at the messed-up chessboard. "Or so I thought, until you came in."  
  
"Yeah, um... sorry 'bout that. Actually..." Tetsu held up his notebook. "Speaking of exams, I was kinda looking for you. Since you're so smart, would you mind tutoring me a little? I'm kinda failing this."  
  
Misono perked up at being called smart, but he wouldn't agree to anything yet. "Why should I do this?"  
  
"'Cause you're the smartest person I know and I don't really know who else to ask." Tetsu met his purple gaze with his own blue eyes. "Please, senpai?"  
  
Misono jumped to his feet in an instant. His cheeks tinted pink, and a proud smirk spread across his whole face as he took a step towards Tetsu, visibly flattered. "Well," he declared, "since you asked so nicely and I happen to be free anyway, I suppose it can't be helped. As your senpai, you can ask me anything you don't understand!"  
  
"Cool!" Tetsu walked over and sat down at Misono's desk while his upperclassman moved the chessboard and pawns back to the shelf where they belonged. "Thanks a lot."  
  
"Think nothing of it." Misono sat down next to him, taking a look at Tetsu's notes. "So what is it you don't understand?"  
  
"Uh, everything."  
  
Misono's enthusiasm dropped a little, but he kept calm. "We'll see about that. For now, let us take a look at your notes and tests."  
  
\---  
  
Kuro's phone buzzed for what felt like the millionth time that day, indicating yet another new message. All from the same person. Kuro could figure that out without even looking at his phone.  
  
He really, really felt like ignoring them all, but then again, they were getting more and more frequent and the constant buzzing was getting on his last nerve. Even if he didn't read the messages, to say nothing of replying, he at least had to mute his phone or he'd find himself forced to throw it out the window or into a tub full of water. And he still happened to need his phone, even if it was mostly for games.  
  
Groaning, he reached out his hand and turned on the screen. As soon as he saw the number of new messages it displayed, he almost turned it off again. Throwing his phone away was beginning to sound like a pretty good idea, after all.  
  
He didn't throw it away. Instead, he resigned himself to his fate and opened the message thread. They were all from Mahiru, just like he'd guessed, and they were hugely repetitive.  
  
_Are you studying for the exams, Kuro?_  
  
_Kuro, it's been an hour and a half. Are you planning to answer anytime soon or are you procrastinating again?_  
  
_Kuro, answer me! Are you studying or not? Need any help?_  
  
_So I get it you're NOT studying. Get up and do your damn work, lazybones!  
_  
_And don't tell me you can't do it or anything! You CAN do it if you want to, remember the bio assignment? The problem is that you DON'T WANT TO!  
  
...Hello?!_  
  
_DAMMIT KURO REPLY ALREADY IM GETTING MAD!_  
  
_PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE YOU JERK! NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!_  
  
The messages ended here, but it was only a matter of time until Mahiru texted him again. Or called him. Or, even worse, turned up at his door.  
  
As if on cue, there was an impatient knock from outside.  
  
Kuro sighed. _Speak of the devil._  
  
"Hey, Kuro, are you in there?" Mahiru called into the room. "Have you ever heard of texting back, huh? Check your phone, dammit! Even a one-word reply would've been okay!"  
  
Kuro didn't answer. He just curled up into a ball and pretended not to be home.  
  
Mahiru's voice was growing angrier by the second. "Hey!" he snapped. "I know you're in there, stop ignoring me already! Seriously, you could've just told me you weren't studying, I wouldn't even have been that mad! But don't just give me the silent treatment like that, it's just plain rude!"  
  
Kuro listened and felt a stab of guilt shoot through him. Mahiru wasn't actually mad because of the studying thing. Mahiru was mad because Kuro had been ignoring him just because he'd been too lazy to study.  
  
Hanging his head in shame, he stood up, stumbled over to the door and opened it. He didn't even have the courage to look up and face Mahiru's gaze, his eyes locking on the pattern of the floor below as he fidgeted, trying to find at least some words, something meaningful, anything that could possibly soothe Mahiru's anger or at least justify his behavior. Nothing came out. His mind was blank.  
  
"Sorry," he stammered at last, feeling like a complete idiot. Of course "sorry" wouldn't cut it. But it was all he could say.  
  
Mahiru didn't say anything, and Kuro was already prepared to hear his friend leave when he felt the weight of a warm hand on his shoulder. Startled, he looked up to meet Mahiru's velvety brown gaze, a warm, kindhearted smile resting on his face.  
  
"Apology accepted," Mahiru said simply. It was all he needed to say. The look in his eyes said everything else.  
  
"Actually," he went on, "I just texted you because I realized you probably don't have any notes to study with, seeing as you snooze through all the classes and stuff. And as the class rep, it's kind of my responsibility to make sure you don't fail so..." He held out a few notebooks. "Here."  
  
Kuro blinked at him for a moment as several thoughts crossed his mind at the same time.  
  
First of all, he realized that instead of ignoring Mahiru's calls, he simply could have told him he couldn't study because he didn't have any notes. Mahiru would have scolded him, sure, and he probably also would have come over to give him his notes, but at least it would have given him some more free time without making his friend mad. Why had he not thought of this beautifully convenient excuse?  
  
Second, he couldn't believe that even though he had ignored him and even though Mahiru had been mad, his classmate had still come over with the intention to help him out. He could say it was his responsibility all he wanted, but that was just too much. Shirota Mahiru was too nice for his own good and Kuro honestly didn't know how to handle that and he didn't know how to react, didn't know how to feel, except for the fluttery warm sensation in his stomach and heart that wouldn't quite fit around the word "happiness," although Kuro knew that was part of it. Sometimes he still couldn't believe what a friend he'd made.  
  
Third, he noticed that Mahiru was giving him his notes instead of studying with them himself.  
  
"Wait a sec," he said, gently pushing back Mahiru's extended hand with the notebooks. "Don't _you_ need any notes?"  
  
"It's fine!" Mahiru smiled. "I can borrow Misono's notes for today or something, and tomorrow I'll just make a copy at school. And I already started studying anyway, so see it as me taking a day off! You need those notes way more than I do."  
  
Kuro still hesitated. "How 'bout we wait till you've copied 'em then? It's not like I have to start studying today."  
  
"What are you talking about? You're not getting around studying today, lazybones! With your grades, every single day is important!" Mahiru shoved the notebooks in Kuro's hands. "Now sit down and start revising right away! And no tricks!"  
  
Kuro groaned, sighed in resignation and slowly made his way over to his desk, plopping down on the chair and staring at the notes with as little motivation as he could muster. Part of him wanted to at least try to take this seriously for Mahiru's sake, but the rest of him felt like doing anything but this, especially with Mahiru's watchful eye monitoring his every move.  
  
_What a pain._  
  
He opened the first notebook and started reading.  
  
\---  
  
"Sendagaya..." Misono massaged his temples and sighed. "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought."  
  
He forced himself not to look at the stack of Tetsu's tests lying in front of him, filled to the brim with horrible grades and even more horrible answers. "What is up with all these?" he shouted, pointing at them. "This is middle school level! Sendagaya, are you stupid?"  
  
"Sorry." Tetsu scratched his cheek and gave Misono a sheepish look. "Thinking's not really my thing... I guess."  
  
"I can see that," Misono remarked, his voice filled with resignation. "I suppose we'll have to start at the very beginning... instead of listing off everything you _don't_ understand, maybe it'd be easier for you to tell me what you _do_." He took another glance at Tetsu's record of poor academic performance. "I'm almost amazed you can do this badly, considering that your notes are excellent."  
  
"Well," Tetsu looked even more embarrassed, "y'know, I already don't get it when the teacher explains this stuff, so I just sorta copy the notes from a smart classmate... looks like that doesn't help much."  
  
Misono resisted the strong urge to bang his head against the desk. Or laugh. Or cry. Maybe a combination of all three.  
  
He didn't do anything like that. Instead, he took a deep breath, opened Tetsu's notebook again, and gave the freshman an exasperated look. "I'll start by explaining everything to you," he declared, "in the hopes that, unlike your teachers, I can get through that thick skull of yours. You better listen carefully because I won't explain this to you a second time."  
  
Tetsu nodded, his eyes resting on Misono, curious and focused, waiting for him to begin.  
  
So Misono started to explain it all, topic by topic, slowly but at a steady pace, and little by little it all started to make sense in Tetsu's head. Everything that had left him confused before was starting to fit together, and it was all just because Misono was explaining it to him, opening his eyes, one question after the other. He probably wouldn't be able to remember it all at once, but at least he understood now.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself staring at Misono in awe, listening to his clear voice calmly answering question after question, watching his small hands sketch diagrams on a spare sheet of paper, mapping out issues so simply and concisely that Tetsu couldn't help feeling amazed. Was this guy really just a year older than him, maybe even less? He seemed so mature already, like a full-grown adult, despite his childlike face and build. Tetsu felt like he was sitting next to a genius.  
  
His staring must have been a little too obvious, because Misono finally interrupted his lecture, glanced up and asked, "What's the matter?"  
  
Tetsu's mouth was faster than his brain. "You're good at teaching."  
  
"Of course I am," Misono replied, a proud little blush lighting up on his cheeks. "You'll have the best score in your grade once I'm done with you."  
  
"Really?" Tetsu's eyes went wide. "Just passing would already be enough though..."  
  
"You'll never get anywhere with that attitude, Sendagaya! This is exactly why your grades are so awful in the first place! Now would you please be quiet and listen to me while I explain the rest? If you have time to stare, stare at your notes."  
  
Tetsu blinked at him, feeling his face heat up in a way he couldn't really put his finger on. Was he embarrassed to have been caught staring? That was understandable, he'd probably looked kind of creepy... but that wasn't the only reason, was it? There was something else, something he couldn't name or explain.  
  
Maybe Misono could. But he'd probably get mad if he asked him about it now, so he just kept his mouth shut and continued to listen to his lecture.  
  
\---  
  
"Mahiru," Kuro said, pointing at the notes, "I don't get this."  
  
"You've been trying to study for thirty goddamn seconds!" Mahiru shot back. "No wonder you don't get it! Try using your head for a moment before you start asking me, it won't hurt you!"  
  
"Thirty seconds? Feels longer to me." Kuro stared at the page for half a moment before looking up again. "I still don't get it."  
  
Mahiru threw a pen at him. "You weren't even trying! Don't just stare at the page and pretend to be thinking!"  
  
"Ouch, so violent." Kuro rubbed the spot on his cheek where he'd been hit by the pen. "How can you throw stuff at your classmate like that... you're a bad role model, class rep."  
  
"Look who's talking! I'm not taking that from you, bad role model!"  
  
"Chill, you're such a drama queen. Look, even your handwriting's girly."  
  
Mahiru flushed with embarrassment. "Well, excuse me for making sure my handwriting's simple and easy to read! _Your_ handwriting's all over the place!"  
  
"It's called being unique and creative."  
  
"There's no point if you can't read it! Geez! And are you calling me uncreative?"  
  
"You want the honest answer or the nice one?"  
  
Mahiru flung another pen at him but missed. "Anyway, stop saying stupid stuff like that and go back to studying! You're wasting time!"  
  
Kuro looked at him like he was the world's biggest idiot. "Can't study if I don't get it..."  
  
Mahiru groaned in frustration. There was no way he was getting around this, was there?  
  
"Fine," he huffed. "Okay, fine, I'll tutor you, lazybones! You better listen carefully, got that? If you think you can snooze while I explain stuff to you you're _so_ wrong!"  
  
He grabbed a chair and sat down next to Kuro, reaching for the notebook. "Okay, listen up! _Hey, don't close your eyes!_ "  
  
Kuro's eyes blinked open. "I'm better at listening with my eyes closed."  
  
"Liar! You obviously just wanna sleep!"  
  
"What a pain..." Kuro leaned forward, almost lying down on the desk. "Whatever, explain away, I'm all ears. Can I at least eat something while you talk?"  
  
"Hell no, you'll get crumbs on my notes! Now stop being a baby and _just! Listen!_ "  
  
Strangely enough, Kuro did as he was told, although not without some grumbling and a very exasperated sigh. For Mahiru, it was enough; his friend was awake and seemed to be listening, and that was all that matters as he launched off on a lengthy explanation, occasionally asking Kuro if he'd understood everything.  
  
Kuro was bright, he realized. If he wasn't so mind-blowingly lazy, maybe he'd get exceptionally good grades, possibly even as good as Misono's. He understood everything quickly, occasionally finished Mahiru's sentences - and almost always correctly - and wasn't so bad at remembering things either. Most of the time he just honestly, genuinely couldn't be bothered with it.  
  
It was kind of a waste, really.  
  
Then again, Mahiru did feel happy to have discovered that hidden talent, to be the first one to have found out about it, to be the one who'd drawn it out, maybe. He couldn't help the odd feeling of pride that rushed through him every time Kuro answered something correctly, every time he finished an explanation for him, every time he understood something faster than Mahiru could explain. Something inside of him kept whispering that Kuro would never have shown this new side to anyone else.  
  
It wasn't until midway through his lecture that he realized Kuro was giving him a weird look. At first he pretended not to notice, but eventually it became too annoying to ignore. "Kuro," he said, interrupting his explanation, "what's with that face?"  
  
Kuro yawned. "Just wondering... Mahiru, if there's no 'd' in 'refrigerator,' why is there one in 'fridge?'"  
  
"Wha-?!" Mahiru gaped at him in shock. "Don't just get sidetracked, you jerk! And cover your mouth when you yawn! Seriously, how did you even come up with this in the first place?"  
  
"Dunno. Got bored?"  
  
"Bored? I'm trying to save your grade here, you ungrateful jerk! Pay attention!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah."  
  
Mahiru sighed and was just about to resume his lecture when Kuro gave him a sidelong glance. "By the way, are you gonna go through all our classes like this?"  
  
He gave him a puzzled look. "Of course," he said, "what are you-"  
  
"Even English?"  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth and closed it again. _Crap._  
  
He hadn't thought of that at all!  
  
\---  
  
"So, one question." Sakuya crossed his arms and glared at the rest of his crew. "Why do I have to be here?"  
  
This so-called study session had only just started, and Sakuya already wanted to leave. Well, truthfully, he hadn't wanted to attend it in the first place, but seeing as Tsubaki wouldn't take no for an answer and he couldn't leave Otogiri alone with all the idiots, in the end he had reluctantly let them drag him over to Tsubaki's room. Now almost everyone involved was busy doing anything but what they were supposed to do; Tsubaki and Berukia were scribbling stick figure cartoons and unfunny jokes on their notes and laughing about themselves, Shamrock was admiring Tsubaki's so-called drawing skills and sense of humor and trying to talk him into letting him get a drink or a snack, Lilac was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he didn't know what to study, and Otogiri sat on the side, calmly revising her notes and pretending none of the chaos around her was happening. And then there was Sakuya sitting in the middle of it all, seriously regretting his choice to tag along.  
  
"Sakuya, don't be stupid!" Tsubaki put his pencil aside to look straight into his eyes. "We're friends, we have to do this together!"  
  
Sakuya stared at him with the most deadpan expression he could muster.  
  
A few seconds passed before Tsubaki realized he wasn't getting any other response and blinked in surprise. "What?"  
  
"Nothing." Sakuya leaned back, propping himself against the wall. "Just waiting for you to start laughing."  
  
Tsubaki looked more puzzled than ever. "Why should I laugh? I was being serious."  
  
Now it was Sakuya's turn to blink in surprise. He wanted to say something, but his brain drew a blank. He hadn't been prepared for this sort of situation - Tsubaki being completely and utterly sincere for once. He'd been prepared for everything - bad jokes, comical overreactions, sudden mood swings or bouts of laughter - but sincerity? That only happened once in a blue moon.  
  
He swallowed, trying to regain his composure a little. He hated this part of Tsubaki - the one that caught him off guard and gave him that weird feeling he couldn't quite put into words, this quick fluttery sensation in his chest that stirred every time Tsubaki's eyes met his with that unexpected honesty, laying all his thoughts bare for just a moment. It moved him too, of course. But he couldn't help feeling that it wasn't supposed to move him like that, and he hated it.  
  
"But it's not like we can help each other or anything," he remarked, hoping that he didn't sound as stirred as he still felt. "I mean, you three–" he nodded at Tsubaki, Berukia and Shamrock– "are third-years, Otogiri and I are in second and Lilac here's only a freshman. We're studying totally different stuff... so basically the only thing we do together is sit and look at our notes. If you guys actually bothered to do that, anyway."  
  
Tsubaki looked offended. "We _are_ studying, right, Beru? We've been doing nothing but look at our notes!" He burst out laughing as he and Berukia exchanged high fives.  
  
Sakuya groaned and waited for the inevitable "Boring" to follow when Tsubaki interrupted his bout of laughter, a realization dawning on his face. "I know what we can do together! Sakuya, tutor me."  
  
Sakuya gaped at him, wondering if he had misheard it for a moment. "What?"  
  
"Tutor me," Tsubaki repeated like it was the most normal thing in the world, pointing at his math textbook. "I don't get this, tutor me. You're good at math, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, but..." Sakuya still didn't understand a thing. What was Tsubaki aiming at? "This is third-year math. In case you forgot, Tsubaki-san, I'm not in the same year as you."  
  
"It relies on the basics from second year!" Tsubaki wouldn't let go. "I've forgotten them all, can't you help me out a little?"  
  
Maybe Sakuya would actually have bought that if it wasn't for those weird puppy-dog eyes that accompanied the question. And had Tsubaki seriously just _winked_ at him?  
  
He rolled his eyes. "You're a straight-A student without even studying, do you really think I'd believe you forgot the basics?"  
  
Otogiri looked up from her notes to give him a small smile. "Why not, Sakuya, tutor him."  
  
"Wha- Have you seriously been listening? I thought you were studying!"  
  
Sakuya looked at everyone's expectant faces and sighed. He had absolutely no idea what the hell this was about, but fine. If he knew absolutely anything about these guys, it was that they wouldn't let go until he agreed to do this. Especially a certain someone who had come up with this in the first place.  
  
He so wished he'd gone with Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki instead.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he slumped in defeat. "Sure, whatever, let's just get this done. What do you need help with?"  
  
Tsubaki's eyes practically sparkled as he moved over to sit next to Sakuya. Right next to him. So close that Sakuya felt like he was suffocating.  
  
"Hey." He shoved his upperclassman an arm's length away. "Ever heard about personal space?"  
  
"I think he was giving you enough space," Otogiri remarked without looking up from her notes.  
  
Sakuya shot a betrayed glare at her.  
  
"See?" Tsubaki said, pouting and pointing at Otogiri. "She thinks so too! You just don't like sitting next to me, right, Sakuya?" Crocodile tears welled up in his eyes. "If you don't like me just say so, then I won't ask you to tutor me anymore..."  
  
Berukia gaped at his best friend in shock, then turned to glare at Sakuya. "Whoaaaaa, you've made Tsubakyun cryyyyy! Sakuya, apologiiiiize!"  
  
Shamrock hurried over to Tsubaki. "Young master, do you need anything? Should I punch this traitor for you?"  
  
"What the hell, why're you guys making me out to be the bad guy?" Sakuya's eyes strayed to Lilac for help, but the freshman was still too busy crying over his notes to be of any use. Turning back to Tsubaki, he groaned. "Look, all I said was that you should sit next to me like a normal person, not hog all my personal space. Okay? If you do that I'll tutor you all you want. Even if I still think you don't need it."  
  
Tsubaki beamed. "Really?" He flung himself at Sakuya, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "Thanks, Sakuya! I knew I could count on you!"  
  
"...Hey, what did I say about personal space?"  
  
"Eeek! Sorry! Don't glare at me like that! So scary..."  
  
Sakuya grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt like he was getting his first migraine, and considering what he had to put up with on a regular basis, it was kind of incredible that he'd lasted for seventeen years without one, honestly. Why did he even hang out with these losers, anyway?  
  
Oh right. Loyalty. And the gang. And the fact that he somehow did care for these losers, especially the loser that was currently busy hogging his personal space and pretending to be stupid just to get Sakuya to tutor him in math.  
  
Frankly, Sakuya didn't have the slightest clue why Tsubaki was doing this or what he hoped to get out of it, but the only thing he could do was play along for now. He didn't know why the hell Otogiri seemed to support Tsubaki either, but he'd figure that out. Right now wasn't the time to go asking himself questions like that; right now was the time to convince Tsubaki that he hadn't forgotten second-year math like he seemed to think he had. And the sooner he got that done, the better.  
  
Besides, it was a pretty good practice for him.  
  
"So," he said, looking at the math textbook, "which parts of this don't you get anymore?"


	12. Sharing is Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You've been through a lot."

Mahiru hated English vocabulary. A lot.  
  
That itself was bad enough. He always barely passed in spite of studying his head off, and studying was long and hard and he still couldn't bring himself to remember more than two words at a time and the most basic rules of grammar. It was embarrassing, really.  
  
This wasn't the problem right now, though. The problem was that Mahiru was supposed to teach this subject to Kuro when he was on the verge of failing it himself.  
  
Oh, great. This was about to get really embarrassing.  
  
He had considered asking Misono for help but quickly changed his mind upon hearing that his classmate was already tutoring Tetsu. If Tetsu's grades hadn't changed dramatically since middle school, that task alone was enough to keep Misono busy until the exams. Licht was pretty good at English too but too busy catching up to everything he'd missed when he was away for concerts and piano competitions, and Ryuusei, Koyuki and Sakuya were all about as lost on this as Mahiru was, if not more.  
  
So, thinking simply, he'd have to take matters in his own hands. Even if he sucked.  
  
Or that had been the plan, anyway.  
  
"Abysmal," he muttered, repeating the word for about the fifth time. "Why does this word have two opposite meanings? Like..." He pointed to the dictionary lying in front of him. "Here it says it means great or profound, but this–" he gestured towards his vocabulary list– "says it means low and wretched? Which is it?"  
  
"It's called an auto-antonym," Kuro remarked from the side. "Or contronym or whatever... it's a word with two opposite meanings."  
  
Mahiru looked up in awe. "How did you–" His eyes came to rest on the cell phone in his friend's hand. "Hey, don't just Google it!"  
  
"Wikipedia's a better teacher than you, Mahiru."  
  
"Do I look like a goddamn encyclopedia to you? I'm only human, geez!"  
  
"Your English really sucks though..."  
  
Mahiru groaned in frustration. "Tell me something new! How about you stop taking naps and start paying attention in class? Then I wouldn't have to tutor you now even though I need a tutor myself!"  
  
Kuro stretched across the desk and blinked up at Mahiru from below. "I _can_ speak English, y'know."  
  
"Seriously?" Mahiru furrowed his brow in suspicion. "Or just trying to escape another tutoring lesson?"  
  
"...You call this tutoring?"  
  
"Shut up! I'm doing my best, okay?"  
  
Kuro simply continued to watch him with that half bored, half amused expression he always wore when he was teasing him. Mahiru honestly didn't know if he should laugh or punch his friend in the face. Maybe both.  
  
"Fine," he said at last, resigned. "If you're that good at English, how about you prove it?"  
  
\---  
  
Today's study session wasn't going well at all.  
  
Misono didn't know what was different, but something seemed wrong with Sendagaya. Usually the freshman would calmly listen to him with wide eyes, taking in every bit of knowledge and trying to store it in his memory and marveling at Misono's explaining skills, but not today. Today he wasn't acting like himself at all.  
  
Today he was... off.  
  
If he had to put it into words, Misono would say that Sendagaya was seriously lacking in concentration today. He couldn't focus at all. He kept spacing out. He would forget things Misono had told him mere seconds ago and mix everything up in his head and spend at least two minutes looking for his pen every time he wanted to write something down, even though it was always in the same place. His eyes were all over the place, and more often than not they would rest on Misono as he spoke, as though he was trying to comprehend something that was written in Misono's face and would eventually begin to make sense if he just stared at it hard enough.  
  
To say that it was putting him off was an understatement. In all honesty though, Misono wasn't entirely sure what was more off-putting to him, Sendagaya's behavior itself or the fact that he didn't know what was wrong with his underclassman.  
  
He hated not knowing what to do. He hated not being able to do something. But there was no way in hell he would just ask the idiot what on earth was wrong with him. That would make it look like he was actually _worried_ about Sendagaya Tetsu! He couldn't even imagine the embarrassment.  
  
Still, something had to be done, and it had to be done fast before Misono lost his focus too and became just as ridiculously mixed up as his underclassman.  
  
Maybe if he phrased it the right way...  
  
"Sendagaya."  
  
The freshman blinked at him for a few seconds before realizing he was being addressed. "Uh, yeah?"  
  
"Is there anything on my face?"  
  
"...Huh?"  
  
There was a moment of awkward silence as both of them stared at each other, waiting for the other to say something.  
  
"Uh, no," Sendagaya finally said, still looking puzzled. "Can't see anything, why?"  
  
Part of Misono wanted to shake his head at him. Was he seriously so dense that he couldn't take a hint to stop staring? This guy really was a full-grown imbecile. "If that is the case," he said sharply, shooting a glare at Sendagaya, "then why do you continue to stare at it?"  
  
"You're pretty."  
  
Silence.  
  
Misono stared at Sendagaya. Sendagaya stared back at Misono. Both of them gaped at each other with their mouths open, trying to process what the freshman had just blurted out.  
  
"...What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Misono felt his cheeks heat up as the whole reality of that sentence hit him full force. "Wh- Wh- Wha-?!" he stammered, trying and failing to keep his composure. "What did you just call me?"  
  
"Sorry." Sendagaya's face was glowing red too, and he avoided Misono's eyes, scratching his neck sheepishly. "I mean you're pretty _cool_. And... smart and mature and stuff. But... yeah, you're pretty too."  
  
Misono could feel his face going redder and redder with every new compliment. His heartbeat was far too loud in his ears, pounding and racing and drowning out all other noise. There was so much blood rushing through his face that he felt it might explode. His stomach felt like a swarm of butterflies.  
  
This was bad.  
  
"Sendagaya, you bastard!" Misono burst out, finally regaining at least some common sense. "What do you think you're saying out of the blue? Flattering me will get you nowhere!"  
  
His underclassman looked at him in surprise. "I wasn't trying to flatter you... I'm being serious."  
  
There it was again, that rush of adrenaline, the feeling of sitting in a roller-coaster and racing downhill at full speed. Misono could feel himself blushing again, could feel a warm jittery feeling spreading through his body along with the urge to both punch Sendagaya in the face and smile like an idiot. What was wrong with him today? Was he really that unused to compliments? Didn't he hear this sort of thing all the time?  
  
He couldn't possibly _like_ Sendagaya Tetsu, could he?  
  
He shook that thought off before it could latch onto him. Nonsense. He was simply flattered to be called pretty, that was all. Sendagaya's disarming honesty had taken him off guard, and that was why he was currently behaving like a lovestruck– like a _normal_ idiot. Not lovestruck. Not even close to lovestruck. He couldn't possibly be that tasteless, could he?  
  
Misono breathed in and out, trying to regain his composure. "Well," he said off to the side, avoiding Sendagaya's eyes, "since you went through the trouble of complimenting me, I suppose etiquette dictates that thanks are in order." He reached out a hand for his underclassman to shake. "So, thank you... or something."  
  
"Huh? O-Okay." Sendagaya grabbed Misono's hand and shook it. "No prob."  
  
They went back to studying, but neither of them could concentrate for the rest of the lesson. Sendagaya was still constantly spacing out, and Misono's thoughts constantly kept circling around the warmth of his underclassman's large hand around his.  
  
\---  
  
"...You still don't get it?" Sakuya stared at his upperclassman with a mixture of annoyance and exasperation. "Are you for real?"  
  
Tsubaki smiled the most innocent smile he could muster. Sakuya could practically see his halo. "Would you mind explaining it to me one more time, Sakuya-sensei?"  
  
"Not sure that'll help," Sakuya deadpanned. "If you still don't get it, maybe I just suck at explaining."  
  
Tsubaki stared at him like he'd been personally offended. "Of course not!" he burst out. "Your explanations are great, I could listen to them all day!"  
  
"Could or need to? I'm not explaining this stuff over and over just 'cause you wanna listen to it again, go record it and put it on replay or something."  
  
Tsubaki blinked up at him with the saddest puppy-dog eyes he could muster before curling up into a ball and turning to Berukia. "Beru," he whined, "Sakuya won't take a compliment."  
  
"Eeeeeeh?! Sakuya, that's ruuuuuuuude! Apologize to Tsubakyun!"  
  
"Will you guys ever stop making me look like the bad guy? You're a real pain!"  
  
None of them answered. They just continued to bore holes into Sakuya with their eyes. Sakuya turned to Otogiri for help, but she just gave him a very unsympathetic look and mouthed "apologize."  
  
He was so not going to her for help again.  
  
Keep cool, he reminded himself. Tsubaki and the others were managing to get on his last nerve again, but he couldn't snap or this would end in an even bigger mess than whatever the hell it already was. "Hey," he said, trying to sound both calm and slightly threatening at the same time, "Tsubaki-san, I don't wanna keep explaining that one part to you all day, I still have my own studying to do you know. So how about you write down what I just told you for the third time? Maybe then you'll remember it better." _And shut up for a moment._  
  
 _I just sounded a lot like Mahiru,_ he realized. _So responsible. Scary._ His best friend was apparently wearing off on him every once in a while.  
  
Tsubaki jumped to his feet, hastily trying to scramble for his pen and notebook, and tripped over himself and fell. He got back up immediately, dashed over to the desk, darted back to his spot next to Sakuya and immediately started scribbling in his notebook, a mildly terrified look on his face. Apparently Sakuya had gone a little overboard with the threatening side of his voice.  
  
He finished in no time at all and held up the notebook, proudly presenting it to Sakuya. "Is this correct, sensei?"  
  
Sakuya skimmed over the notes, checking every detail, and sighed with relief. "Yeah."  
  
 _Wait a minute._  
  
He looked through the notes again. Another time. Something was off.  
  
"Tsubaki-san..." He pointed at a detail in his upperclassman's notebook. "How did you know this? I didn't tell you that part."  
  
Tsubaki smiled at him. "Well, when you told me all that I remembered everything again!" He burst out laughing.  
  
This was it. This was enough. Without saying another word, Sakuya got up, grabbed his notebooks and pencils and walked towards the door. He was so getting out of there. He'd had it with these idiots.  
  
Tsubaki looked up, stopped laughing and grabbed his sleeve. "Sakuya, wait!"  
  
Sakuya struggled and pulled, but he couldn't shake off Tsubaki's grip. Very unwillingly he turned around, glowering down at his friend. "What?"  
  
Without looking intimidated as usual, Tsubaki met his glare with a look of complete and utter sincerity. "You explained it all really well," he said, smiling. "Thanks, Sakuya!"  
  
That smile... Sakuya couldn't stand it. He didn't hate it, not at all. Actually, it was kind of the opposite. He just hated the things it did to him, the feelings it stirred within him that he shouldn't be having towards this eccentric, off-the-wall idiot. This smile reminded him of so many things... it reminded him that there was more to Tsubaki than his usual silliness, even more than his pranks and attacks and desire to take revenge on the Servamps. It reminded him that he had a heart, he was kind and honest and genuine. It reminded him that this was still the guy who had saved his life so many years ago.  
  
It was the exact same expression he'd shown back then.  
  
 _Damn it, this is why I can't leave you._ Sakuya could feel his expression softening even as he sighed in defeat and sat back down, right next to Tsubaki even though he didn't have to tutor him anymore.  
  
\---  
  
Hyde wasn't fond of studying or putting in too much effort, so he might be a little biased there, but he was sure he wasn't the only one who could see that Licht was totally overworking himself.  
  
The pianist had been busy all day. He had woken up at five in the morning to study and practice the piano, gone to class, diligently taking notes and doing every task he was assigned, gone to the now-empty music club room to practice the piano again, and finally gone back to his room to study some more. Now it was past nine in the evening and Licht hadn't even turned up to dinner. And, frankly, Hyde couldn't help feeling a little worried.  
  
It wasn't that he cared about Licht, not really. The self-proclaimed angel was nothing but a temporary distraction to him, like so many others before, like so many others he'd still meet. Once he got bored with him, Hyde would just dump like a used tissue and move on. As always.  
  
But right now he wasn't bored yet. Not by a long way. Honestly, it wasn't normal. He didn't even like Licht too much, but there was something about this arrogant, eccentric workaholic prick that kept him interested. Perhaps it was the fact that Licht, unlike all the other people he'd chosen to hang out with, openly hated his guts. Strange as it was, fighting with him was fun, and Hyde simply couldn't keep himself from pushing Licht's buttons again and again.  
  
Right now, however, he didn't feel like messing with his classmate. He felt like checking up on him.  
  
"Angel-chan?" he called softly through the closed door. "Lichtan, what are you doing in there?"  
  
No answer. Not even a groan or a huff or a sound of movement. The room was completely silent.  
  
"Lichtan!" Hyde called again, louder this time. "Can you hear me or are you sleeping?"  
  
Silence.  
  
This was seriously weird. Usually Licht would at least have made an annoyed sound by now, but there was nothing. It wasn't like him at all. Was he wearing earplugs? Had his composure suddenly improved drastically? Or... was something wrong with him?  
  
Fine, one more try. "Angel-chan!" he shouted through the door. "What are you working so hard for, that's a waste of time!"  
  
If Licht still didn't answer now Hyde would have to assume that something was seriously wrong. There was no way his classmate wouldn't respond to a taunt like that. He had to!  
  
Hyde listened intently, but there was still no answer.  
  
"Licht?" he called again, hoping that he didn't sound as worried as he was feeling all of a sudden. "Licht, I'm coming in!"  
  
He placed a hand on the door handle and carefully peeked inside.  
  
Licht's room was dark, except for the small circle of light around his desk, created by a single lamp. The desk itself was covered in paper; textbooks, notebooks, worksheets. Pens and pencils lay scattered among the mess, with the occasional eraser in between. A pencil or two had even fallen down on the floor and rolled towards the bed, something Licht would never allow to happen in a normal situation.  
  
Sitting in the middle of this mess, with his head resting on the desk, was Licht himself. His face lay in the crook of one arm while the other was dangling down at his side, long fingers still clutching a pencil, his shoulders rising and falling with every breath he took.  
  
Hyde almost felt like laughing. "Hey, Angel-chan," he said softly, approaching his sleeping classmate. "Did you seriously fall asleep like that?"  
  
Licht didn't answer. He just stirred slightly and mumbled something in his sleep.  
  
"Licht?" Hyde called again, trying to peek at the pianist's face. "Licht, can you hear me? Angel-chan, wake up!"  
  
No reaction.  
  
Hyde reached out, grabbed Licht's shoulder and shook him gently. Licht would be so mad at him for waking him up like that, he realized with an amused smirk. He'd probably kick him again, but his embarrassed face when he realized he'd been caught sleeping at his desk would probably be worth it.  
  
 _If_ Licht woke up, anyway.  
  
Hyde's shaking didn't help. The pianist only groaned but didn't even make an attempt to swat Hyde's hand off.  
  
Something was wrong.  
  
Hyde's throat felt tight. Every part of him was alert all of a sudden. There was something seriously wrong with Licht if he didn't even react to being shaken like this. Was he sick? Had he overworked himself? What was the matter?  
  
Grabbing Licht at both shoulders, he lifted his face off the desk and gently pushed him to lean back in the chair. It was just as he'd suspected. Licht's face was all red, there were dark shadows under his eyes, and when Hyde touched his forehead it was glowing with heat.  
  
He chuckled, but there was no mirth in that chuckle. "Lichtan," he said, "did you seriously get a fever? So even idiots can catch colds, huh!"  
  
A cold wave of panic rushed over him. What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to help someone with a fever again? He'd learned this, he knew he had, but his mind remained blank. Should he cool Licht's forehead? Keep him warm? Did he need anything to eat or drink? What foods were said to help against colds again? Should he call for help? _What was he supposed to do?_  
  
He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. _What the hell,_ he thought. _Freaking out like that over Licht of all people? Angel-chan might not be the only one who's getting sick today.  
_  
One way or another, rest was always good, and Licht couldn't stay in this chair forever. There was at least something he could do. Careful not to wake him up, he picked up the feverish pianist and carried him to the bed, placing him down and tucking him under the blanket. Licht moved his lips and seemed to whisper something unintelligible but didn't open his eyes.  
  
Alright, that was better. He'd rest up, and in the morning he'd be back to normal already. Hyde could leave now.  
  
His hand came to rest on the door handle, but he didn't walk out. _This isn't the kind of fever you can get rid of just by a good night's rest,_ a voice in his head whispered. _He'll have to call in sick tomorrow._  
  
 _So what,_ he told himself. A day without Licht sounded nice and peaceful, relaxing even. Finally doing what he wanted, whenever he wanted, without this goody-two-shoes picking a fight with him or kicking him across the room for the tiniest things...  
  
It sounded awfully boring.  
  
School without his temporary distraction sounded like a living nightmare. Dull, dreary... _lonely?_  
  
Shaking his head at himself, Licht, the upcoming exams and this whole messy situation, he took his phone out of his pocket and started searching for fever cures.  
  
Licht's embarrassment when he found out that he owed his recovery to _Hyde_ of all people would be worth it, after all.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru's eyes were wide as saucers, gazing at his friend in growing awe. "Your English is really good!"  
  
Kuro took the last potato chip from its bag and stuffed it into his mouth. "Told ya."  
  
Mahiru was so baffled that he didn't even realize that Kuro had just taken the last chip and talked with his mouth full. "No, but you're seriously amazing!" he insisted. "I feel like I finally understand all this stuff now, thanks so much!" He couldn't help smiling from ear to ear.  
  
"Can't deal..." Kuro turned away as if blinded by a dazzling light. "It's not that hard though. You just suck."  
  
"Well, sorry about sucking!" Mahiru snapped. "Where did you learn all that though? You can't tell me it's just natural talent, with the amount of studying you put in you should've been just as bad as me!"  
  
Kuro shifted, folding his arms on the desk and resting his head on top of them, gazing out the window into the distance. He looked small somehow, lost, as if this was too big for him and he was trying to escape it by hiding.  
  
"Ah, that..." he mumbled hesitantly. "I've kinda been abroad."  
  
Mahiru snapped to attention. "Abroad?"  
  
Kuro shifted again, visibly uncomfortable with the subject. Mahiru was just about to tell him to forget he'd asked when he sighed in resignation and did spoke up without raising his head from his arms.  
  
"What a pain... you'd have found out at some point anyway so whatever," he mumbled, averting his eyes. "Yeah, I spent a year abroad back in like... fifth or sixth grade or something."  
  
Mahiru furrowed his brow. "Fifth or sixth grade?" he asked. "Isn't that kind of young to do an exchange?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer at first. He just buried his face in his arms until only his eyes peered over his sleeves and sighed again. "It wasn't an exchange."  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise. "Eh?"  
  
"I was just sent to live with some people there," Kuro muttered under his breath, so quietly that it took all of Mahiru's attention to catch the words. "Friends of some distant relatives of my distant relatives or something, dunno what they were. But they live in Australia and they took me in so... yeah."  
  
"Took you in?" Mahiru repeated softly, already sensing what Kuro was about to tell him next. "What... what do you mean?"  
  
"...I'm an orphan."  
  
Mahiru felt his eyes widen. An orphan... so Kuro didn't have any parents? He'd grown up by himself, raised by other relatives... _Just like me._  
  
A wave of sympathy washed over him. Following a sudden urge, he reached out a hand, letting it rest on Kuro's back, sending his friend a silent encouragement as he continued.  
  
"Or pretty much an orphan." Kuro spoke faster than usual, as if he was trying to get this over with quickly. "My parents didn't want kids, so they gave me up for adoption after my birth. Dunno who they are or where they live. I've only ever grown up with host families." He paused. "Lots of them, none of them ever kept me 'round too long. Moving all the time was a pain."  
  
Mahiru looked at him and could feel everything Kuro had left unsaid. That the host families hadn't wanted him, hadn't liked him, had tried to get rid of him as fast as possible. The feeling of being a stranger in a new neighborhood, of not knowing anyone, of not being welcome... of not being loved.  
  
For over sixteen years.  
  
His throat felt tight, as though there was a giant lump in it that he just couldn't swallow. His fingers clenched into the fabric of Kuro's shirt. His eyes were stinging, and his vision was starting to get blurry with tears.  
  
Wait... why was he about to cry? Why was he getting so upset about this? Kuro didn't seem to mind as much as he did, so why...?  
  
Was it because he was an orphan himself? Because he could relate to the feeling of growing up without parents, the feeling of being left all alone in this world? Was it because he, too, had experienced the feeling of not being wanted? It had only been once, and it hadn't lasted, but it had been enough. How had Kuro managed, living his entire life with that feeling on his shoulders?  
  
"Mahiru... what're you doing with my shirt?"  
  
Kuro's voice snapped Mahiru out of his thoughts. His eyes strayed down to the hand that was still gripping Kuro's shirt, clenched so tightly that the knuckles were white. "Oh," he mumbled, letting go of the fabric. "Sorry..."  
  
Something must have sounded off with his voice, because Kuro lifted his head to look at his face.  
  
A shadow of concern crossed his eyes, and he furrowed his brows into the tiniest frown. "Mahiru?"  
  
Embarrassed to be caught on the verge of tears, Mahiru hurriedly wiped his eyes and put on a smile that was only slightly forced. "I'm fine," he said. "It's just..." His voice started trembling again, crumbling, threatening to crack. "You've been through a lot."  
  
Kuro averted his gaze. "Just a lot of families. No big deal... what a pain, you're so melodramatic."  
  
"I'm not melodramatic!" Mahiru tried to snap, blinking back the new tears threatening to gather in his eyes. "It's empathy, you know? You should be happy I'm feeling for you!"  
  
He tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeve again, but Kuro reached for a tissue and held it out towards him, staring intently at the desk. "Here. Now stop crying, it's lame."  
  
Mahiru took the tissue from Kuro's hand and couldn't help smiling, despite his friend's rude words. "Thanks," he said, wiping off his tears. "I think I'm okay now. Thanks, Kuro!"  
  
"Can't deal..."  
  
There was a moment's silence between them. Each looked off into a different direction, feeling their heartbeat more than really hearing it, sensing the other's presence next to them but avoiding eye contact. Perhaps a pause like this should be an awkward silence, but it didn't feel that way. If anything, it felt more... companionable. Warm. Still pulsating and flickering with tension, but comfortable at the same time.  
  
Kuro welcomed the silence gladly, thankful that he didn't have to speak, didn't have to reply to anything Mahiru had to say. If he spoke right now, there was no knowing what would happen. He wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his composure or even just hide the fact that now that Mahiru had calmed down again, he was the one who felt like crying.  
  
For sixteen years he'd lived in this condition, the child who wasn't at home anywhere, who was always just another mouth to feed, who was unwanted, unneeded, a nuisance. For over a decade he'd made peace with that situation. Well, not peace, but at least some sort of truce. He hadn't accepted it, but he'd stopped getting upset about it. It was the only thing he could do to deal with something he couldn't change anyway. Just stop thinking about it. He'd gone numb, he'd hidden his loneliness behind a layer of sarcasm and dry gallows humor and an uncaring attitude. That was how it had always been. It hadn't been good, but it had been okay. Okay enough, anyway.  
  
Ever since he had developed that attitude, Kuro had stopped expecting people to care. They had never cared to begin with, not the handful he had told about this back when he was still young and stupid, and not the teachers and classmates who'd heard about his condition from his host families. He hadn't expected that anyone could possibly be even slightly affected by his fate. The notion had even seemed ridiculous to him - after all, if he himself didn't care anymore, why should anyone else?  
  
But Mahiru hadn't known that. Mahiru had heard his story and understood how hard it was, how hard it had been on him as a kid, and had been moved by Kuro's fate. Mahiru had shed tears of sympathy for him. Mahiru had stirred up the dust of acceptance that Kuro had allowed to settle on the situation, reminding him that it wasn't normal, it wasn't okay, and that he'd been right to have been hurt by it as a child. Mahiru's reaction, overly sentimental as it was, had reminded him of what the entire world had tried to make him forget. He'd reminded him that he had a right to be upset about it.  
  
And now he wasn't sure if it was this feeling that had him on the verge of tears or just the sight of Mahiru tearing up.  
  
Kuro couldn't explain why, but when he had seen tears gather in Mahiru's eyes, it had hurt him. It had hurt him in places that he hadn't even thought could hurt, tugging and pulling and tearing at his heart and making a lump grow in his throat. Seeing Mahiru so sad and upset was painful, and he didn't know why. All he did know was that he never wanted to see that expression on his friend's face again. Especially not because of him.  
  
"Mahiru, I..." The words were out before he could think, before he could stop them. "I'm sorry."  
  
He could feel Mahiru's brown gaze more than he saw it, resting on him with curiosity. "Sorry for what?"  
  
Great.  
  
Kuro really had acted without thinking. What was he supposed to say now? The truth? He probably owed that to Mahiru, but... there was no way he could possibly say that.  
  
 _I'm sorry for making you so upset. I'm sorry for making you cry._ That sounded lame and sappy. Not that Mahiru's tears earlier hadn't been lame and sappy too, but that was different. Mahiru was an emotional guy to begin with, honest and open about his feelings. Kuro wasn't. He didn't like opening up to anyone like that, not even to Mahiru. It made him too vulnerable.  
  
Those velvety brown eyes were still resting on him, calmly awaiting an answer. Kuro still avoided his friend's gaze. _He knows what you're trying to say,_ his intuition whispered. _He understands._  
  
So... might as well finish what he started and tell him.  
  
Kuro could feel his heart pounding through his ribcage. His face heated up with embarrassment and that odd feeling he still didn't know the name of. Staring intently at the tips of his fingers, gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and mumbled, almost whispered, in the most quiet voice imaginable, "Sorry... for making you cry."  
  
His face was glowing. Damn it, communicating his feelings was hard. Showing his weaknesses was hard. And even now that he'd said it out loud, he didn't know if Mahiru had even caught the words. Part of him hoped he hadn't.  
  
A warm hand gently came to rest on his head, lightly ruffling his hair. "No problem," Mahiru said, and Kuro didn't have to see his face to know he was smiling. "I just got too emotional, you know. It's just... I'm an orphan too, so maybe that's why you moved me so much."  
  
Kuro raised his head, blinking at him incredulously. "You... too?"  
  
"Yeah." Mahiru gave him a lopsided smile. "My mother died in a car accident when I was in first grade."  
  
Kuro stared at him and couldn't believe it. This guy, who was so happy and hardworking and energetic and had so much to give, had lost his mother when he was still a kid? That must have been horrible. It must have been even worse than not knowing your parents at all, having a loving parent and then losing them at a tender age, without any warning.  
  
How could Mahiru still be so nice and outgoing and optimistic after a fate like that?  
  
He didn't say any of that out loud, of course. The only thing he did say was, "And your dad?"  
  
"Don't know him." Mahiru shrugged. "Maybe he died. Maybe he's still out there somewhere and doesn't even know I exist. Mom rarely ever talked about him." He smiled lightly as a memory seemed to cross his mind. "I mostly grew up with my uncle."  
  
Kuro gave a slight nod. So that was why Mahiru was still like that despite being an orphan. He'd still had a relative who had taken him in and kept him around and raised him. He'd still been loved. He'd still lived a normal life. For some reason Kuro couldn't help feeling a little jealous.  
  
"I didn't really expect him to take me in," Mahiru continued, his eyes darkening at another memory filling his head. "When Mom died, I didn't really have anywhere to go. All her friends and relatives kept making excuses why they couldn't take me in... they were all hoping someone else would do it." He closed his eyes, frowning, trying to shake off the painful memory.  
  
Kuro knew exactly what he was feeling right now. The fear, the abandonment, the feeling of being unwanted - he knew all that too well. And Mahiru had gone through it too, once. Not dozens of times like Kuro had, but once had been enough. He wouldn't even wish that one time on him.  
  
Finally Mahiru's face relaxed, lighting up again ever so slightly. "And then that someone appeared. They all kept saying my uncle couldn't do it because he was always so busy with work, but we somehow got it all figured out anyway. Even though he had the most reasons to make an excuse... he didn't. Because someone had to help me out, and nobody else wanted to." He smiled. "He's been my role model ever since. I also... wanna become that someone that keeps showing up when nobody else wants to do something. The someone that keeps stuff going, you know?"  
  
He looked so happy, so serious, so incredibly genuine that Kuro almost couldn't resist the urge to ruffle his hair. "So that's why you're such a workaholic."  
  
"Shut up! I just wanna help, okay?"  
  
Kuro sighed, but there was no annoyance or exhaustion in it. So he and Mahiru actually had a little in common. And Mahiru's attitude suddenly made a lot of sense. He'd been met with kindness and selflessness, and now he was trying to give kindness and selflessness back to the entire world. It was still stupid - after all, there were so many people out there who didn't deserve it - but it was somehow understandable.  
  
Maybe... just maybe, if Kuro had been brought up like this, would he have ended up becoming like Mahiru too?  
  
Oh well, it was just a thought. Probably not. That would've been way too troublesome.  
  
\---  
  
It was late in the evening when Mahiru left Kuro's room. Their study session had continued for a long while, and time had passed faster than he could express his surprise at it. It was high time to go to sleep, or else he'd be tired tomorrow.  
  
So, naturally, he didn't expect to run into anyone in the hallway at this hour.  
  
Literally.  
  
He staggered back, putting out his arms to steady himself, and looked right into Hyde's equally puzzled face. The other had just emerged from Licht's room and run smack into him, obviously in a hurry.  
  
"Sorry," he said breathlessly, without the usual energetic tone. "Is the nurse's office still open?"


	13. Sick Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Die, apparition!"

Mahiru still gaped at Hyde, trying to make sense of the whole situation. "The nurse's...?" he stammered. "Are you okay?" His eyes strayed to the door Hyde had just come darting from. "...Is Licht okay?"  
  
Hyde blinked in surprise. For a second he looked like a child caught in the middle of sneaking cookies, then he caught his composure again and grinned. "Yeah, Angel-chan overworked himself and now he has a cold! So now I, the super-cute nurse, have to help him so he'll be back to his cool angelic self again soon!"  
  
Mahiru was still frowning. "Hyde, are you worried about Licht?"  
  
Hyde gulped.  
  
This time it took him a little longer to regain his composure, but it was still only two seconds until he was back to his usual self. "Not really!" he said, laughing. "But if I nurse him back to health now, he'll owe me something! I wonder if I can get Angel-chan to be nice and not kick me for a day!"  
  
Mahiru didn't believe him for a second. The look on his face before he had switched back to his usual cheerful attitude had said more than a thousand words, and the rush he'd been in when he had run into Mahiru spoke volumes. Hyde was clearly worried, but of course he wouldn't admit it that easily. Maybe not even to himself.  
  
All the more reason to help. "Should I make a dash for the nurse's office?" he offered. "That way you can stay by Licht's side and make sure his cold doesn't get any worse... Or do you want me to watch him while you run to get some medicine?"  
  
Hyde looked both taken aback and slightly grateful, but once again he brushed it off. "Ah, don't bother," he said with a grin. "I don't think Lichtan's condition is that ba– huh?"  
  
Before he could finish his sentence, Mahiru had grabbed his sleeve and started dragging him towards Licht's room. "If he has a fever, somebody needs to watch him!" he declared, ignoring Hyde's protests. "And thinking simply, that somebody has to be one of us!"  
  
"Hey!" Hyde struggled and tried to free his arm, but it was in vain. "Owowowowow you're hurting my arm let me go...! Geez, you're almost as bad as Angel-chan!"  
  
"Make sure that he has something to cool his forehead if he has a fever," Mahiru simply told him, opening the door to Licht's room and dragging him inside. "But keep him warm otherwise. I'll see if I can get him some tea and food too, I know what kind of tea helps against colds. You stay here and watch him, alright? If anything's wrong just call me or Kuro. Be right back." And off he was.  
  
Hyde suddenly found himself all alone in a quiet, dark room. All alone with Licht, who was still asleep and tossing and turning and mumbling in his dreams. Alone with the duty to somehow nurse this guy back to health.  
  
What was he doing here? This wasn't right. He hadn't planned to take care of this guy when he'd approached him. That was something lovers did, close friends, but not frenemies. Not people who only spent time with others to relieve their boredom.  
  
And yet... and yet he somehow _wanted_ to do something. He _wanted_ to help. Was it because he'd grown accustomed to Licht's grumpy presence, because he'd be bored without it, because he'd feel like he was missing something? Or had he started to care?  
  
He shook his head. Care about this idiot? No, thank you. He didn't care about anyone anymore, let alone this guy. He had decided not to care about a single person in this world anymore, not after losing _her_. After all, what good had caring done him? He'd just end up losing everyone anyway, some sooner, some later. All people were to him was entertainment, a distraction, something to make time go by a little faster.  
  
He had attached himself to so many people. He had gone out with so many people, girls and boys alike, ditching them all after a few weeks when they got boring, tossing them aside like used tissues. Maybe it was to keep himself from getting lonely. Maybe it was to prove to himself that he was still lovable. Maybe it was to fill the giant hole left behind by the one person he could never have.  
  
Licht had never been supposed to be any different.  
  
He had been different, of course. They had never gone out. Licht had hated him at first sight, and Hyde had realized that latching onto someone to annoy them was much more entertaining than going out with the newest unassuming victim. But Licht had never been supposed to matter any more than those meaningless flings had.  
  
Licht stirred again, grumbling something about a stupid rat and telling him to do something anatomically impossible. Hyde grinned, snapping out of his mind-boggling thoughts. "Just you wait, Angel-chan," he said to himself. "The stupid rat's gonna nurse you back to health, how's that? I bet you'll look like a real idiot when you find out!"  
  
He probably should have asked Mahiru to bring a cooling pad too. Oh well, for the time being, a cold wet towel would have to do. It would cool him off at least a little, and by the time it started warming up Mahiru would probably be back with something better.  
  
And besides, Licht wasn't very cool-headed even when he was healthy.  
  
\---  
  
 _Cold... so cold..._  
  
Everything felt cold. The air. Licht's clothes. Even his own skin and hair, soaked and drenched with sweat, felt cold. The blanket clung to him like a wet towel, soft and sticky and cold like everything else. His head was pounding. His throat was dry. His skin was glowing, radiating heat, and yet he was shivering with the cold. Why was everything so cold?  
  
He could hear steps from a distance, slowly moving closer. A voice spoke some words he didn't understand. Was it speaking to him? It sounded familiar. Whose voice was it?  
  
The voice spoke again, louder this time, but Licht still couldn't catch the words. They were distorted and jumbled as if they were coming to him through a bad phone connection, flickering on and off again like strobe lights, a mess of sounds and syllables that didn't make sense. What was the voice trying to say? Why couldn't Licht catch the words?  
  
Something grabbed his arm, shaking him gently. Licht tried to turn around, tried to see who it was that had grabbed him, who was talking to him, but he couldn't move. He was frozen in place, surrounded by absolute darkness, shaken by an invisible hand and listening to a disembodied voice saying fragments of words to him.  
  
No... this wasn't right. He wanted to move. He had to move, had to see who was talking to him. He knew that voice was familiar. Who was it? What were they saying?  
  
No good. He still couldn't move. Even with all his willpower he still couldn't move.  
  
His head was pounding. His throat was dry. And he was shaking. Not just with the cold, but with the creeping fear that had wrapped its icy fingers around his heart.  
  
Why couldn't he move? He had to move. Why couldn't he?  
  
He was so alone here, alone with the invisible stranger... why was he alone? Why wasn't there anyone else? Why wouldn't anyone help him?  
  
 _Cold... so cold..._  
  
The hand let go of his arm. The voice flickered on and off and on and off until Licht couldn't tell if it was still speaking or if this was just an echo.  
  
It was still dark. He still couldn't move.  
  
Why was he so alone here? Where had the voice gone to?  
  
Someone... anyone...  
  
 _So cold..._  
  
The hand reappeared, gently brushing his hair aside and wiping the sweat off his forehead. It came to rest on it for a few seconds before vanishing again, and then something soft and wet and soothingly cool wrapped itself over Licht's heated face.  
  
The voice spoke again, and this time the words were clear, without flickering or distorting. "Better now, Angel-chan?"  
  
The curse was finally broken. Licht could move again.  
  
He shifted, opened his eyes and looked into a familiar face.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru was in such a hurry that he didn't even hear the rushed steps coming from his side. A figure emerged from the shadows of the dark courtyard, crashing right into his side, sending them both tumbling to the ground.  
  
The figure in front of him groaned. "Ow..." he mumbled to himself. "Man, that hurt."  
  
"Hey," Mahiru snapped, rubbing the elbow he'd caught himself on. Great, that would definitely form a bruise. "Can't you watch where you're going? I was trying to get somewhere fast! What are you even doing here at this time of the night, anyway?"  
  
"... _Mahiru?_ "  
  
"Sakuya!" Mahiru blurted out, finally recognizing his best friend as his brain caught up with the situation. "Sorry, I didn't realize it was you... you okay?"  
  
Sakuya grimaced. "You know," he hissed, wincing in pain, "actually, I think I broke an arm."  
  
"Wha– Don't move! Don't move, I'll check it in a sec, I'm so sorry–"  
  
"How much of that was a lie?"  
  
Sakuya grinned and dodged the punch Mahiru threw at him. His best friend gave him a glare that was both angry and relieved at the same time, flinging another punch at his face and hitting it this time. "Don't joke about that, dammit!" he yelled. "Scare me like that again and I'll break your arm for real! I wasn't trying to go to the nurse's office because of you, you know?"  
  
"The nurse's office?" Sakuya stopped laughing, snapping back to attention in a split second. His expression shifted from mirth to worry. "Mahiru, are you okay?"  
  
"Me?" Mahiru blinked at him, puzzled. "I'm fine... it's just that Licht has caught a cold and I'm trying to get some medicine to make his fever go down and stuff, you know."  
  
"Licht? You mean the pianist dude from class A?"  
  
Mahiru nodded.  
  
"So that's why you were running, huh..." Sakuya was about to brush it off when a flicker of realization crossed his face, making him frown. "Wait a sec, isn't his room on the other side of the building? Did you just happen to hang around the place, or does everyone in our grade always call Mahiru-sama when there's an emergency?"  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?" Mahiru tried to sound strict but failed when his expression slipped, cracking a grin. "Nah, I was just tutoring Kuro in his room and when I walked out I ran into Hyde." He rubbed his forehead, feeling the bruise that was forming where he had crashed into the former Servamp. "Literally. You're already the second person I ran into in the space of five minutes."  
  
Sakuya laughed again. "That's the power of Mahiru-sama for you! Everyone you come close to has to run and crash into you. It's like a magnet!"  
  
"I'll show you the power of Mahiru-sama!" Mahiru shot him a playful glare–  
  
–and paused.  
  
 _Wait a second..._   
  
There was something he had forgotten about, something Sakuya's words had just brought back to his mind.  
  
"Everyone I come close to..." he repeated. "Why were you even around here, anyway?"  
  
Just for a split second Sakuya looked taken aback. Or was it just Mahiru's imagination? Maybe he was just seeing things, but he could have sworn that for a tiny moment his best friend looked like a deer in the headlights.  
  
Sakuya grinned, and the illusion disappeared as quickly as it had come. His face became distorted to one of those creepy masks it would always turn into when he was telling a horror story, grin too wide for his face and eyes glowing like flashlights in the dark. "I had some business with the third-years."  
  
" _Sakuya!_ "  
  
"Just kidding, just kidding." Sakuya dodged another one of Mahiru's punches. "Just went to hang out with some third-year girls and lost track of time."  
  
Mahiru huffed. "You better be in your room by curfew next time, got that? That was half an hour ago!"  
  
"Says the class rep who's running through the courtyard after curfew?"  
  
"Shut up! It's an emergency!"  
  
"Okay, okay." Sakuya laughed again and turned to leave. "Well, I'm gonna call it a night now. If you need any help, just knock."  
  
He stuck his hands in his pockets and headed towards his room. His grin faded as soon as he was certain Mahiru couldn't see his face.  
  
Lately his best friend had definitely been acting suspicious. What was with all that time he was spending with that Kuro guy? Alright, he knew Mahiru had taken the delinquent under his wing to get him to go to class and get decent grades and all that, but that was still no reason to spend that much time with him, tutoring him until past curfew. What had they been doing?  
  
And now Hyde. Mahiru said he had crashed into Hyde, who had probably told him about Licht falling ill, but there was still something fishy about the whole story. First Kuro and now Hyde? Was it just him, or had Mahiru been getting close to a whole lot of former Servamps lately?  
  
He shook his head. It didn't have to mean anything. Maybe Mahiru didn't even know that he was hanging out with a bunch of former gang members. He had been blissfully unaware of the rumors surrounding Kuro, after all, and as far as he could remember nobody had told him the names of all the Servamps. In that case, maybe Sakuya should warn him. Knowing Mahiru, he probably wouldn't listen and just say that it was all in the past or something, but knowing about the dangers of his new friends was still leagues better than walking blindly into the lion's den.  
  
But what if Mahiru did know? What if he was up to something?  
  
He _had_ been acting pretty suspicious lately. And Tsubaki had said something about the Servamps possibly teaming up again to stop him and the gang and everyone, even though they had all so firmly gone separate ways back then. Had somebody tried to put the gang back together? Somebody from the inside? Or... maybe an outsider? What if Mahiru had tried to reassemble the Servamps?  
  
 _Stop thinking that, moron,_ he reprimanded himself. Mahiru wouldn't do that. He was a class representative and member of the disciplinary committee, he would never work together with a gang!  
  
 _...Not even to defeat a worse gang?_  
  
He shut that train of thought down before it even left the station. Mahiru wouldn't do that, he was sure. It was just a coincidence and he was seeing things. Being part of Melancholy was starting to make him pretty paranoid.  
  
Besides, Mahiru had just given him a useful bit of information. If Licht was sick and Hyde was apparently taking care of him, or at least worried about him... then maybe this could be a good chance to take revenge on at least one of the Servamps. He'd found a precious weakness right there.  
  
He took out his phone, opened the Melancholy group chat and started typing a message. _just found out smth useful._  
  
\---  
  
Just for a moment time seemed to stand still.  
  
Licht stared up at Hyde. Hyde stared down at Licht. Blue eyes met red ones in a stunned stare, unblinking. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them breathed. Hyde's hand was frozen in place on Licht's forehead, still holding the wet towel.  
  
This was awkward.  
  
This silence was really, _really_ awkward. Hyde had absolutely no idea why, but even he could see that something had to be done. He had to break the silence somehow, no matter how. _Just say whatever and get the world to start moving again._  
  
He opened his mouth, but just as he was about to say something, Licht finally spoke.  
  
"Am I... dreaming?"  
  
Hyde gaped at him for a second. "...What?"  
  
"I don't remember getting here." Licht spoke quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself, his eyes staring right through Hyde's confused face. "How did I get here? Is this a dream?"  
  
"Huh? Wait, it's not a dream!" Hyde finally regained his composure a little. "You caught a cold and fell asleep at your desk, so as your super-cute sidekick, I put you in the bed and started nursing you! Am I not nice, Angel-chan?"  
  
Licht squinted at him, staring like he wanted to bore holes in Hyde's face with his eyes. Finally a flicker of realization crossed his face, and his expression relaxed. "My fever must be bad, I'm having hallucinations." He scowled in disgust. "Really ugly hallucinations."  
  
"Lichtan, I'm not a hallucination!" Hyde protested, frantically waving his arms around and grabbing Licht by his shoulders and shaking him. "Look! Look! Look here, does this feel like a hallucination to you? I'm one hundred percent real, geez!"  
  
Licht wound himself from his grip. "I didn't know you could feel hallucinations too," he remarked, irritation slowly but surely growing in his voice.  
  
"Angel-chan, who do you think brought you here? Who do you think you got that wet towel from? I'm here and real, you prick!"  
  
"Shut up, you illusion!" Licht snapped at him. "The real shit rat would never nurse me when I'm sick!"  
  
"What? Lichtan, that's rude! And I even went out of my way to ask Mahiru to get you medicine, is that the thanks I get?"  
  
Without bothering to reply, Licht sat up and grabbed his pillow. "With my angel powers... I'm going to exorcise you, hallucination."  
  
Hyde would have started laughing if the whole situation wasn't so... surreal. "Wait," he protested, "wait! Angel-chan, listen to me! Don't sit up, you need to rest–"  
  
He didn't come any further because a pillow was flung in his face, hitting him right in the mouth.  
  
"Die, apparition!"  
  
Hyde spluttered and coughed, spitting out a few stray feathers that had flown out of the pillow at the impact. "Hey!" he yelled, reaching for the pillow at his feet. "Just you wait, you jerk! Take _that!_ "  
  
He lifted the pillow and threw it straight at Licht, missing his face only by a narrow margin, and rushed to retrieve it before Licht could get a hold on it again. Licht reached out himself, and the two of them both ended up on opposite sides of the bed, pulling at two corners of the pillow.  
  
"Let go of my pillow, you demon!" Licht growled, tugging harder at his end. "I'll purify you! I'll kill you until you are dead!"  
  
Hyde tightened his grip on his side of the pillow. "You let go, stupid stubborn Angel-chan! You need to rest anyway so there!" He stuck out his tongue.  
  
"An angel like me doesn't need rest! Now... let... go... before I kill you!"  
  
There was a sound of fabric tearing apart, and a moment later both of them tumbled back in opposite directions, each of them holding half of what had been a pillow, a flurry of feathers snowing down on them. They had fallen off the bed, lying with their backs on the floor and their feet still on the mattress, and had absolutely no idea what had happened.  
  
Of course it was at this very moment that the door opened.  
  
"I've got the medicine!" Mahiru announced, rushing in. "Licht, Hyde, are you oka–"  
  
He caught sight of the chaos around him and froze.  
  
"What. The hell."  
  
Hyde was the first to realize what was happening. He scrambled to his feet as fast as he could, hurriedly trying to explain everything as Mahiru's expression shifted from shock to barely-veiled fury. "Waitwaitwait it's not what it looks like, I can explain!" He pointed an accusing finger at Licht, who was still busy sitting up and wondering what was going on. "He started–"  
  
Licht pointed at Hyde. "He started it."  
  
"What?" Hyde did a double take. "That's not true! All I did was try to help you, you ungrateful prick!"  
  
"You acted weird, moron!"  
  
"Stupid ungrateful Angel-chan! I'm not helping you anymore!"  
  
"Will you two just _shut up for a minute?!_ "  
  
They both jumped at Mahiru's tone. The class representative was seriously angry, glaring at them with his hands on his hips, his eyes and voice no-nonsense. Hyde resisted the urge to duck behind the bed, and even Licht shrank back as Mahiru's form seemed to get bigger, filling the room with his presence.  
  
"Licht!" he ordered, drowning out all protests before either of them could even open his mouth. "You better get back into your bed or else! Hyde, give Licht your pillow! And if you two even think of fighting again, I'm calling a teacher! Got that?"  
  
They gulped and nodded.  
  
Licht scrambled back into bed, grumbling about how it was all the stupid rat's fault, and lay down only to realize that lying on a mattress without a pillow was awfully uncomfortable and sat back up, sulking. Hyde trotted off to his room, not-so-quietly mumbling about a certain ungrateful angel and how he was never helping him out again.  
  
Mahiru sighed with relief. At least they were quiet.  
  
"By the way, Licht," he ventured, smiling at the pianist who was still glaring holes into the wall and pouting, "I brought you some medicine from the nurse's office. It should help with your fever and–"  
  
"Don't need it."  
  
Mahiru should have seen this coming. "Come on, don't be like that," he tried again, "you need to recover quickly, there's the exams and stuff coming up! You don't wanna miss any more classes, do you? If you take that medicine, you'll be back to normal in no time at all."  
  
Licht turned away. "Don't need it."  
  
"Come on!" Mahiru groaned, slowly losing his patience. "Would you rather spend the next couple days in bed when you could be studying and practicing the piano?"  
  
"I'll be fine by myself," Licht insisted. "Why? Because I'm..." He turned around and tried to strike a flashy pose. "...an angel!"  
  
His pose was shaken by a coughing fit, and he curled up on himself again, groaning quietly.  
  
"Liar!" Mahiru scolded him. "You obviously won't be fine! Now take the medicine already and be done with it! What are you, a kid?"  
  
"...Don't wanna."  
  
Mahiru was just about to ask him why when the door flew open behind him and Hyde poked his head inside. "Does Angel-chan still need a pillow? Here it is! All soft and fluffy and almost as cuddly as my adorable self–"  
  
"Shut up!" Mahiru and Licht interrupted him in unison. Licht started coughing again.  
  
Hyde's eyes widened as he saw Licht struggle with the coughing fit, almost but not quite to the point of looking a little worried. "Whoa there, Lichtan, are you okay? Have you taken your medicine already?"  
  
Mahiru groaned in frustration. "He hasn't!" he said, making an exasperated gesture. "He flat-out refuses to and I have no idea why!"  
  
Licht grumbled something unintelligible.  
  
Mahiru and Hyde perked up. "What?"  
  
"...it's bitter."  
  
There was a moment's silence.  
  
Mahiru's face turned white and then red in a matter of seconds. "Are you kidding me?" he snapped, marching up to the sick pianist. "You're refusing to drink medicine just because it's _bitter?_ "  
  
Licht pouted at him. "Problem?"  
  
Mahiru took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He was dealing with an idiot and a man-child here, getting mad wouldn't help him. "Look," he said, desperately holding on to his composure, "Licht. It's only for a moment, and it's gonna be worth it, and if you drink it we'll get you something sweet afterwards. Deal?"  
  
Licht stared hard at him in consideration. At long last he nodded and added, "But I want melon."  
  
Hyde and Mahiru gaped at him. "Melon?!"  
  
"...Fine," Mahiru sighed. "You'll get all the melon you want tomorrow, so take the medicine, okay?"  
  
"I want it now."  
  
Honestly, at this point Mahiru didn't know what else he had been expecting. Probably nothing.  
  
Without missing a beat, he turned around to address Licht's classmate. "Hyde, get him some melon."  
  
"Eh– _eh?!_ " Hyde stared at him in shock. "Are you both kidding me? Where am I supposed to get melon at this time of the day? We're not even allowed to go outside anymore! Don't be such a spoiled brat, Lichtan!" He turned to Mahiru. "And why are you not saying anything?"  
  
Mahiru massaged his temples. "I'm trying to get this whole mess over with. It'll probably be faster to get him melon than to try and negotiate with him." He made a gesture towards Licht, who was still sitting on the bed, with the blanket pulled over his legs, and looked awfully pleased with himself. "Just hurry up already! I'm gonna keep an eye on him."  
  
Hyde grumbled something about a stupid spoiled angel and stomped off. Where the hell was he supposed to get any decent melon at this time of the night?  
  
Oh wait.  
  
On second thought, he knew someone who might help.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro wasn't one to go to sleep early. Usually he didn't care about it either way, but today he was honestly glad to be a night owl. After all, if he'd actually wanted to sleep right now, all this noise in the neighboring room and hallway would've been a royal pain in the neck.  
  
He had heard raised voices, hurried steps and a few thumps and crashes and other sounds that he couldn't quite identify, but he was pretty sure there had been fighting involved. And Mahiru. He had heard Mahiru's voice loud and clear, probably trying to keep the chaos next door in check.  
  
What a pain... why did Mahiru have to get involved in literally everything?  
  
Oh well, it was quiet again now so he supposed things had been solved. There was no need for him to get up and look what had been going on, he probably wouldn't see anything anyway. His curiosity could always be restrained until he saw Mahiru again tomorrow morning.  
  
But if that was the case, then what was this uneasy feeling in his gut?  
  
Something wasn't right. He didn't know what. He didn't know why. All he knew was that he needed to check up on Mahiru and the others.  
  
Sighing at his own weird sense of duty, he paused his game, put down his phone and scrambled to his feet. Seriously, what a pain. All he wanted was to sleep and eat and play games and get through the next two years of school without any major drama, and here he was, getting involved in things that were none of his business and helping out just for the sake of helping. And it was all Mahiru's fault for being so damn diligent and nosy and getting caught up in everything that smelled even remotely like trouble.  
  
And the worst part was that Kuro didn't even know if he was just worried about his idiot classmate or if Mahiru was starting to have an annoyingly good influence on him.  
  
Stopping in front of the door to Licht's room, Kuro paused. He was here, but what now? What if Mahiru wasn't even in the room anymore and he'd make a giant idiot of himself by asking for him? He didn't think he could deal with an annoyed, tired angel pianist at this time of the day.  
  
...But what if Mahiru was there?  
  
He had heard Hyde leave some time ago, but Mahiru's voice had still come from this room at the time and he hadn't heard anyone else walk out of the room since then. So, thinking simply, as Mahiru would put it, his friend still had to be in there.  
  
Whatever. Checking wouldn't hurt. Not much, anyway.  
  
He gave a soft knock, waiting for an answer, but the room remained silent. Careful not to be too loud and wake anyone up, Kuro knocked again, softly calling, "Mahiru? You in there?"  
  
There was still no answer. Kuro gritted his teeth, swallowing that nervous feeling that tried to convince him not to do this, that it would all just end up awkward as all hell, and opened the door and poked his head inside.  
  
He was met with perfect quiet. Licht's room was dark, only dimly lit by the small lamp on his nightstand that was barely enough to illuminate the pianist's bed. The boy himself lay tucked under the covers, arms wrapped around a stuffed animal, a towel lying on his forehead, fast asleep and snoring quietly. Kuro let out a breath, relaxing. At least he wasn't disturbing anyone.  
  
But where was Mahiru?  
  
He stepped further into the room, his eyes searching as they adjusted to the darkness enclosing the room until they finally came to rest on a familiar figure.  
  
Mahiru sat in the chair at Licht's desk, facing the pianist even as he had fallen asleep, slumped to one side, his chin resting on his chest. He looked tired and uncomfortable, frowning in his sleep, struggling with some bad dream that had befallen him to rob him of his well-earned rest. His teeth were gritted, his breathing heavy, as if he was fighting a heavy battle with his nightmare. He looked... afraid, somehow.  
  
Kuro shook his head. "You're the worst."  
  
Careful not to wake anyone, he snuck over to his friend, taking a closer look at his face. His whole expression was tense, beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. He was still mumbling something to himself, and this time Kuro caught the words.  
  
"No... Don't go, Mom... don't leave me here alone..."  
  
A pang of worry shot through Kuro's chest. Mahiru was dreaming about his mother. His mother, who he had lost when he was still little.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, he reached out to stroke Mahiru's hair, running his fingers through those unexpectedly soft dark strands. Y _ou're not alone, Mahiru. Even if your mom has left you, you're still not alone._  
  
...Was it just him, or was Mahiru's forehead unnaturally warm?  
  
What a pain. First it had been Licht who had apparently gotten sick, and now Mahiru was on the verge of catching a cold too. He couldn't stay here. He had to rest up, or he would get sick for real.  
  
Sighing in exasperation, he lifted Mahiru up in his arms, holding him close as he walked back towards the door.  
  
Mahiru took a shaky breath, shifting uncomfortably. Kuro couldn't see his face, but he felt the boy's shoulders trembling.  
  
Was he... crying?  
  
"Hey." Kuro steadied his grip on his friend and shook him gently. "Mahiru, you okay?"  
  
Mahiru didn't answer, but the trembling intensified. A muffled sob escaped his lips as his hand gripped the fabric of Kuro's shirt, holding onto it like it was the only lifeline in his nightmare. "Mom..." he whispered, his voice cracking and crumbling with despair. "Mom, I'm so sorry... don't leave me alone... stay with me... I don't..." A fit of sobs shook him. "I don't have anyone else..."  
  
Kuro listened to him and felt a lump rising in his throat. "What a pain," he mumbled to himself, trying to ignore how his own voice was on the verge of cracking, how close he was to crying himself. Again.  
  
Without thinking about what he was doing, he brought up a hand and wiped the tears off Mahiru's cheeks. "Hey," he whispered, tracing the wet streaks along his friend's cheekbones and the corners of his mouth, holding him closer, wrapping his arms around him, hoping that he could feel it through his dream. "Hey, calm down. You're not alone, dummy. I'm here, see?"  
  
Mahiru didn't seem to react, but Kuro could feel him melting into the touch, could feel his body relaxing little by little, could feel his breath leveling out until his shoulders weren't trembling anymore. With a peaceful, content sigh, he buried his nose in Kuro's chest and chuckled to himself. "Smells nice..."  
  
A wave of relief rushed over Kuro, but at the same time he felt his own face heating up. Suddenly he was hyperaware of how close they were, hyperaware of the sleeping boy in his arms who was so happily snuggling up to him. He had to get him into his own room, and he had to do it quickly before he overheated.  
  
...He hadn't caught Licht and Mahiru's cold by any chance, had he? Oh well, no big deal if he had. Then he'd just get to skip school for a couple days.  
  
Slipping out the door, he hurried to Mahiru's room and placed his friend on the bed, neatly tucking him under the covers. He was just about to sneak back out again when he heard a voice behind him.  
  
"Ku...ro...?"  
  
Oh great.  
  
"Kuro?" Mahiru asked again, less drowsily this time. "What am I doing here... what happened?"  
  
Kuro could feel his face glowing again. Seriously, he needed to do something about this cold. "You dozed off in Angel-chan's room is all. What a pain, can't you take it down a bit? You're gonna get sick too if you keep going like that." He gave Mahiru a look that was supposed to be exasperated but probably only came across as worried. "You already have a bit of a fever, y'know. I thought idiots couldn't catch colds."  
  
To his surprise, Mahiru didn't get annoyed at his remark. He just continued to look at him with those wide eyes. "Kuro..."  
  
Kuro met his gaze for a moment and averted his eyes. For some reason that look was doing weird things to him. It was like Mahiru had gazed straight into his heart, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not.  
  
"I'm gonna call it a night," he announced before Mahiru could say anything else, turning and hurrying towards the door. "Don't overwork yourself, workaholic."  
  
He had already opened the door when Mahiru's voice called after him. "Kuro, wait!"  
  
He turned around to be met with a smile that was all warmth and happiness and gratitude, a ray of sunshine in the middle of the night. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?" Kuro was honestly glad for this darkness. He couldn't help feeling that his face was all red again.  
  
"For worrying about me and bringing me here," Mahiru said like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Good night!"  
  
Kuro fled the room and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Can't deal."  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru opened the door and nearly crashed into Licht on his own doorstep.  
  
The pianist looked like a disaster. He was pale, his hair was a tangled mess, there were dark shadows under his eyes, his nose was red like a tomato, and to top it off he was sniffling. Honestly, it was a miracle that he could even stand up in this state, let alone walk to Mahiru's room.  
  
"Licht!" Mahiru said, gaping at him in surprise. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Licht scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably, like he really, really didn't want to be caught saying what he was about to say.  
  
"Uh... Have you seen the shit rat?"


	14. Hyde and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde wasn't in his classroom, and he wasn't in the drama club room either.

"...What?"  
  
Mahiru was sure he was looking completely stupid, but this situation was just a little too weird to be real. Why on earth was a sick Licht standing on his doorstep at half past seven in the morning and asking if he'd seen _Hyde_ of all people? There was so much wrong with that, he didn't even know where to begin.  
  
Judging by the look Licht was giving him, he really must have looked completely stupid.  
  
"The shit rat," the pianist repeated rather impatiently. "Have you seen him or not?"  
  
"Uh... no," Mahiru admitted, still puzzled about the whole scene. "Why're you even looking for him in the first place? Did he not come back last night?"  
  
Licht shook his head and pouted. "He still owes me melon."  
  
That made sense. And Mahiru had almost thought that Licht actually cared about Hyde or something. Why had he thought that again?  
  
He frowned, thinking of all the possible locations where Hyde could have disappeared to. "So he didn't return to your room last night?" he asked. "Well, then... have you checked his room? Maybe he just didn't wanna wake you and–"  
  
"I checked. He wasn't there."  
  
Mahiru's frown deepened. If Hyde hadn't returned to Licht's room last night and he wasn't in his own room either, then where was he? Could it be that he hadn't returned to the dorm at all last night?  
  
What if something had happened to him?  
  
He brushed off that thought. "Well," he mused aloud, "if he didn't come to your room, and he wasn't in his room when you checked, then maybe he already went to school? I dunno, an early drama club rehearsal or something."  
  
Mahiru was pretty sure there was no such thing, at least not today. But thinking simply, where else could Hyde possibly be?  
  
Licht shrugged at the suggestion. "Maybe."  
  
"I mean, maybe he got up really early and all that? Or..." A sudden thought flashed through Mahiru's head. "Licht, if you checked his room, can you tell me if it looked like he slept in it last night?"  
  
"Didn't look like it." Licht's pout intensified. "There was no melon anywhere."  
  
Mahiru resisted the urge to groan. "Maybe he took it to school with him?"  
  
A thought crossed Licht's face, and his pout turned into a scowl, his eyes glowing with rage. "Maybe he ate it, that bastard." He clenched his fist. "Just you wait till I get you, I'm gonna kill you dead! Stupid demon."  
  
Mahiru sighed. It didn't look like Licht was going to be of much help, especially not in this state. "Relax, I'm sure he didn't eat your melon," he groaned. "Now hurry up and go back to bed and rest up! I promise that I'll look for Hyde and get you your melon. Okay? Off you go!"  
  
As he gazed after Licht's slowly retreating back, Mahiru tried to fight off the uneasy feeling creeping over him and settling in his gut. Hyde would definitely be at school. It wasn't like anything had happened to him...  
  
...right?  
  
\---  
  
Hyde wasn't in his classroom, and he wasn't in the drama club room either.  
  
Mahiru wanted to search for him in some more places, but the bell that reminded him to go to class cut him short. He'd have to continue looking for him during lunch break and hope that he'd have appeared by then. He definitely would, he tried to convince himself. Hyde was probably just off doing something weird and was now heading to his classroom, just like Mahiru was.  
  
Still, for some reason, he could sense the quiet feeling of dread slowly intensifying.  
  
 _Don't worry too much,_ he told himself. _Hyde is a former Servamp, he's probably about as strong as Kuro. If anything happens, he can take care of himself._  
  
Kuro blinked drowsily when Mahiru sat down next to him, just in time, and started unpacking his books and notebooks. "You're weird today," he remarked, mild curiosity in his eyes. "Why'd you drop me off here and run away again, forgot something?"  
  
Mahiru groaned quietly and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't find Hyde anywhere."  
  
"Hyde?" Kuro repeated, mildly surprised and just a little irritated, or so it seemed to Mahiru. "Why, did ya lose him?"  
  
"No... Licht came to me this morning and asked me if I'd seen him." Mahiru sighed. "We sent him out to get melon last night because Licht didn't wanna take his medicine unless he got melon first and it looks like he didn't come back." He frowned. "I hope nothing happened to him."  
  
Kuro yawned. "Don't worry, he'll turn up."  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru's eyes went wide with surprise and just a little amazement, moved at the delinquent's unexpectedly soothing words. "Are you trying to calm me down?"  
  
"Nah, I bet Hyde's just _hiding._ " Kuro pointed a half-hearted finger gun at Mahiru. "Ba-dum-tss."  
  
"...Shut up."  
  
"You're smiling though."  
  
"Shut _up!_ "  
  
Mahiru rolled his eyes, but Kuro was right. He was smiling again, and it was just thanks to his friend's terrible pun. And all of a sudden he didn't feel so nervous and worried anymore, like the joke had chased off the lingering dread like light chased off the dark.  
  
Had Kuro done that on purpose?  
  
He glanced over to the boy next to him, but the delinquent had already fallen asleep, his face resting on the desk and hidden behind his arms.  
  
Mahiru would have liked to follow that train of thought, but at this moment the teacher walked in, apologized for the delay and started her class.  
  
\---  
  
The hours went ticking by. Very, very slowly.  
  
Licht was bored out of his mind. After his morning visit to Mahiru's room, the class representative of 2-B had sent him back to his room and later dropped by to tuck him into bed with an order not to get up and some food and drinks and medicine on the nightstand, and ever since he'd been all alone, staring out the window.  
  
He had tried studying for his exams, but just looking at his notes had given him a headache so he had quickly given up on that. He had tried revising his newest piano pieces, much to the same effect. He had even tried watching cute animal videos on YouTube, but the wi-fi connection was so bad that they wouldn't play without lagging and loading for ages.  
  
And now he didn't know what to do.  
  
He still couldn't believe it had been barely two hours since Mahiru had left, and he'd still have to wait for many, many more hours until lunch, when he'd hopefully be able to get up and grab some food from the dorm mother. He'd already eaten everything Mahiru had left him, he was hungry!  
  
Speaking of which, where was his melon, anyway?  
  
Hyde still hadn't turned up. He hadn't even hinted where the hell he was or what he was doing - after all, not even a dumbass like him could take a whole night and a morning to simply find some melon, right? Where had this guy disappeared to?  
  
Not that Licht was lonely or worried or anything. That guy was getting on his last nerve in so many ways that simply counting them all was already irritating enough. No, Licht was simply tired and hungry and very, very bored, and at the very least that bastard would keep him a little distracted until lunchtime. Anything was better than doing nothing, even fighting with that loud clingy moron.  
  
Besides, he still wanted melon.  
  
Well, fine. If the idiot had disappeared on him without bringing him his favorite food like he'd promised, then he'd have to find him, plain and simple. His hand reached for his phone, unlocking it and selecting a certain _Stupid Rat_ among his contacts.  
  
He still couldn't believe he was actually trying to call Hyde. Normally Hyde was always the one to call him. And text him... and e-mail him... and spam him with every other type of message humankind had ever invented. But had Licht ever tried to contact him?  
  
Well, why should he have? The less he saw and heard of that moron, the better for him. Right now was an exception and an emergency. No wonder it felt weird.  
  
He pressed the Call button, held the phone to his ear and waited.  
  
One ring. Two rings. Three. Four. Five.  
  
Nobody picked up.  
  
Six. Seven.  
  
"The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. If–"  
  
Licht ended the call with an annoyed huff. Why was Hyde not answering his phone? Hyde always answered his phone, unless he was performing on stage. Had the battery died? Had someone forced him to turn it off? Had it been confiscated? Had he lost it?  
  
One way or another, this wasn't normal. And Licht didn't like it one bit.  
  
He swallowed his remaining bit of pride and called again.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro, wake up! It's lunchtime."  
  
The delinquent groaned and shifted to look at Mahiru standing in front of him, blinking drowsily. "Already?" he mumbled. "Five more minutes..."  
  
"You wanna miss lunch that badly? You need to eat, geez! Aren't you hungry at all?"  
  
Kuro only groaned and sat up, reaching for his bag. "'Kay Mom, knock it off. I'm going already."  
  
Mahiru rolled his eyes but refrained from commenting, turning to the front of the classroom instead. "Just a sec, I need to tell the other guys something–" He interrupted himself mid-sentence when he saw that Sakuya, Ryuusei and Koyuki were already gone.  
  
"Great, when did they leave?" He planted his hands on his hips, shaking his head. "I only looked away for a minute... oh well." He brushed it off. "Kuro, can you do me a favor?"  
  
Kuro didn't look too enthusiastic at that request, but at least he didn't say anything against it.  
  
Mahiru continued, ignoring the exasperated look on Kuro's face. "Can you go on ahead and tell Ryuusei, Koyuki and Sakuya that I'm gonna be late for lunch? I have some important stuff to take care of."  
  
"Gonna go looking for Hyde?"  
  
Mahiru nodded. "At least I need to find out if he showed up in his class or if anyone knows anything." He smiled. "Just gonna ask in 2-A and then I'll show up, okay? I just need someone to tell the others so they won't get worried."  
  
"What a pain..." Kuro groaned, standing up and yawning. "Can't you just text them or something?"  
  
"I could, but you need to talk to other people more. Maybe you'll get talking when you deliver the message! You can't just spend our entire second and third year with me alone, you know!" Before Kuro knew it, he found himself pushed out the classroom door by a smiling Mahiru, who nodded an encouragement and gave him a thumbs up. "C'mon, you can do it."  
  
Kuro gave an unwilling groan and trudged off to the cafeteria.  
  
Mahiru glanced after him, smiling to himself. Maybe today would be the day Kuro would finally become friends with his friends. Maybe today Kuro would finally find some more people to go to and talk to, some more people who appreciated him and didn't fear him because of silly stories and prejudice alone. Maybe then Mahiru would finally be able to hang out with his four best friends without awkwardness and distrustful glares thrown at each other.  
  
But first of all, he needed to take care of business.  
  
As if on cue, the nagging feeling of dread stirred again in his chest, gripping him with long cold spidery fingers, tensing him up and making it hard to breathe. What if Hyde still hadn't turned up? What if nobody knew where he was or what had happened to him? What would he do then?  
  
 _Shut up,_ he told himself, annoyed at his own nervousness. He wasn't usually the type to freak himself out like that, so what the hell was wrong with him today? Hyde was probably fine. He had turned up in his class again or was skipping to pester Licht in his room, but he definitely hadn't disappeared and Mahiru was being anxious for nothing.  
  
Walking through the hallway, he turned and approached the door that had _2-A_ written next to it, taking a peek inside.  
  
At first glance, the classroom looked deserted. All the students had disappeared to the cafeteria, leaving only a scattered mess of bags, notebooks, pencils and crumpled sheets of paper behind. If Hyde had been here, he definitely wasn't now.  
  
Mahiru was just about to leave again when he heard something shuffling behind the teacher's desk, and a second later Crantz emerged, holding a stack of papers in his arms.  
  
His eyes met with Mahiru's, widening in surprise. Smiling, he set down the stack of papers and made his way over to greet Mahiru, nearly tripping over a stray chair. Was it just a feeling, or did he look tired somehow?  
  
"Mahiru-kun!" he said, sounding perfectly normal and not tired at all. "I didn't expect you to show up here... Do you need anything?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Mahiru braced himself and got straight to the point. "I's just... did Hyde show up to class today?"  
  
Crantz frowned, sighed, and shook his head.  
  
Mahiru felt himself tense up. So Hyde hadn't been at school either? That meant he really hadn't come back last night... but then where was he? What in the world had happened to him?  
  
"So he wasn't here either, huh." He tried to stay calm. "Mr. Crantz, you don't happen to know where he went, do you?"  
  
Crantz gave him a worried look. "No... I haven't heard of him since last night."  
  
Mahiru snapped to attention. "Last night?"  
  
"Yes." Crantz looked up, blue eyes flickering with amusement as he replayed a memory in his head. "He suddenly called me yesterday evening and asked if I had any melon and that he really needed it at once, it was an emergency. I agreed to meet up with him and give him his melon, but..." A cloud of worry crossed his eyes. "He never showed up at our meeting point."  
  
Mahiru swallowed hard. So his suspicions had been right. Something had happened to Hyde last night, and he had disappeared.  
  
Had he been caught up in an accident? No, in that case they'd already know what had happened. But what was it then? Had he been attacked? Was he lying somewhere, possibly unconscious?  
  
"Mr. Crantz," he said, urging himself not to let his growing panic surface. "Do you think he's still somewhere between here and the point you wanted to meet him at? If we go looking for him then maybe–"  
  
"Unlikely." The teacher's frown deepened, a shadow of exhaustion crossing his face. "I spent the entire night looking for him between that place and the school, but I didn't see him."  
  
So Hyde really was gone.  
  
That left two possibilities. Had he just got lost somewhere and his phone's battery had died so he couldn't call?  
  
Or... had he been kidnapped?  
  
\---  
  
Now that he'd eaten lunch, Licht was already feeling a lot stronger. His fever had gone down, he wasn't shivering with the cold anymore, and even his nose had stopped running for the time being, although his throat still felt terribly sore and he was probably going to have one hell of a cough tomorrow. Still, it was an improvement. He was getting by just fine without that stupid bitter medicine the others had tried to force down his throat.  
  
Although the melon they would've given him as a reward did sound pretty nice. Damn it, he still wanted his melon.  
  
Where was it, and where was that dumbass Hyde?  
  
Licht had tried calling him at least a dozen times, but to no avail. His phone didn't even seem to be on. There was definitely something fishy about it, and although Licht couldn't exactly say why, he definitely didn't like it one bit.  
  
He still wasn't worried about Hyde. Not at all. That stupid rat could go die for all he cared.  
  
But... he did owe him a little. After all, it had been Hyde who had found him when he'd fallen asleep at his desk with a fever, Hyde who had tucked him into bed, Hyde who had tried to lower his fever with a wet towel, Hyde who had called Mahiru for help and given him his pillow after they had torn Licht's apart. Hyde who had been unexpectedly nice to him, caring, almost... tender?  
  
 _No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No._ He could feel his face flushing at that thought, glowing with shame and embarrassment and radiating the heat of a thousand suns. _No._ Hyde's gestures were not tender, not caring, not even nice. They definitely hadn't felt good or anything. He had to be really sick if he had actually considered that possibility.  
  
No, Licht wasn't grateful or anything. And he wasn't worried or nervous either. He was just... curious, and indebted to Hyde. He owed him for helping him out last night, at least a little, and owing a guy like Hyde wasn't a state Licht wanted to stay in if he could help it. Whether he liked it or not, he needed to repay the idiot somehow and get even, and he couldn't do that if that moron went and disappeared into thin air.  
  
If it wasn't for that, he probably wouldn't care less about where he went. It wasn't like he was lonely or missed his stupid tagalong.  
  
...right?  
  
Licht shook off the thought. Fine, so maybe it _was_ unusually quiet without Hyde's big mouth around, but that didn't mean it was a bad thing. He just wasn't used to the quiet anymore because Mr. Does-Not-Know-How-To-Shut-Up kept following him everywhere.  
  
But still... it was too quiet and too boring and he wanted to know where on earth Hyde had disappeared to, at least.  
  
One more call wouldn't hurt.  
  
He reached for his phone and called his classmate again. Nothing. Hyde's phone was still turned off and went to voicemail after the first few rings.  
  
Licht huffed in annoyance. This was pointless. He'd never find Hyde that way.  
  
But he couldn't just lie around and not to anything either. He wanted to know. Even if that meant looking for him himself. Maybe he'd actually find him somewhere? Maybe Hyde had gotten into trouble, and then he'd be able to see him in his misery and gloat a little... He found a smug smirk crossing his face at the thought. Who'd have guessed that such a simple idea could lift his mood so much?  
  
Without even thinking about the order to stay in bed, he stood up, slipped on his shoes and a jacket and snuck out of the room.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro really, really wasn't made for joining conversations uninvited. Especially if they were with people other than Mahiru.  
  
He had been standing in the cafeteria for what felt like forever. Sitting at a table nearby were Mahiru's friends, happily talking about some random subject Kuro could only guess because he couldn't catch the words. And he was still here, waiting for the opportune moment to butt in and deliver his message. If there even was such a thing as an opportune moment for something like this.  
  
Kuro hated interrupting conversations. Not just because it was rude - he could have lived with that alone. What he couldn't deal with were the stares everyone would direct at him when he spoke up. All that attention... all those people judging him for joining into a private conversation nobody had even thought of inviting him into.  
  
 _Mahiru, hurry up and come here already._ Then he wouldn't have to deliver that message. Then he wouldn't have to interrupt anything and get weird stares, and then he wouldn't feel so alone and out of place.  
  
Being at school without Mahiru around felt so weird at this point. Like suddenly missing a body part, or his voice, or one of his senses. He'd grown so used to Mahiru's presence that being surrounded by people but not having him nearby felt wrong, unnatural. For some reason he couldn't help feeling incomplete.  
  
He knew that he was supposed to walk up to Mahiru's friends and talk to them. He knew that Mahiru wanted him to become more outgoing and befriend other people, but why did he have to? He already had Mahiru. He wasn't alone anymore, and that was already way more than he could say about the majority of his life up to this point. Why should he care about what anyone else thought of him?  
  
 _Because Mahiru cares,_ a small voice whispered in his head. _Mahiru sent you here because he wants his friends to like you, because he thinks you deserve to be liked somehow. Mahiru believes you can do this, so just walk up and tell them._  
  
Why Mahiru thought that was a mystery. It wasn't like Kuro had ever shown much confidence in a situation like this, on the contrary. He still kept getting flashbacks of the nightmare that had been the school festival café. But... back then he'd somehow managed in the end. And he sure as hell didn't want to disappoint Mahiru when his friend still believed in him after all the times he'd screwed up and proven that he was a complete zero with people.  
  
Maybe he couldn't befriend these guys, but at the very least he could tell them where Mahiru was.  
  
He took a deep breath and was just about to speak up when his eyes met Koyuki's, and the boy interrupted what he had just been saying to look at him with a mixture of fear and curiosity. "Um..."  
  
 _And here come the stares._  
  
Kuro swallowed and forced himself not to bolt as Mahiru's friends directed their gaze at him, giving him questioning stares. Nobody said anything.  
  
Talk about awkward.  
  
It was Koyuki who finally spoke up, his voice slightly shaking with fear and intimidation, his eyes resting on Kuro without meeting his gaze. "Um, uh..." he stammered. "Do you need anything? Mahiru's still not here though, so..."  
  
"Have you seen Mahiru?" Ryuusei interrupted, sounding only a little bolder than his friend.  
  
Kuro relaxed a little. Now this was something he could deal with. "Mahiru's gonna be late," he explained, "he still has some, uh... some stuff to take care of. He'll be here soon."  
  
Their stares intensified, and Kuro tensed up again. Crap. He had screwed this up, hadn't he? This sounded suspicious as hell, he was so in trouble now, he was screwed...  
  
"Class rep stuff," he tried to clarify. Did he sound less suspicious now? It wasn't really a lie. And the truth really wasn't an option here, they'd just get worried.  
  
They still looked at him like he had kidnapped Mahiru. Kuro wanted to hide. He so wanted to hide.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, guys!"  
  
Kuro spun around to look right at the one face he'd wanted to see the most. Mahiru was there, finally, looking confused and tired and worried as hell, but at least he was there and Kuro didn't have to feel alone and defenseless anymore. He was safe again. For the time being, that was all that mattered.  
  
Mahiru sat down next to his friends and immediately started talking. "So sorry, I was really planning to come earlier but something important came up and I had to take care of that first..."  
  
"Class rep stuff, we know." Ryuusei grinned. "Kuro just told us."  
  
Mahiru nodded and glanced at Kuro, giving him a grateful smile. He looked so proud, so relieved... Kuro just wanted to run. He hadn't done anything to deserve that look. He didn't deserve the warm fuzzy feeling it stirred in his chest. He didn't deserve to feel so unfairly happy right now.  
  
His friend didn't know any of that, of course. All he knew was that Kuro was still awkwardly standing around at a safe distance from the table, looking uncomfortable and rather lost, and decided to change that. Still smiling, he motioned for Kuro to sit down next to him and turned to his friends, taking a proper look at them for the first time.  
  
He blinked.  
  
"Where's Sakuya?"  
  
\---  
  
"Tsubakyun, Tsubakyun, help meeee! I wanna turn on this phone but I don't know the coooooode!"  
  
Berukia came storming into the room, holding a cell phone in his hand that most definitely wasn't his; it was neither new enough nor even remotely flashy enough, only a simple, unremarkable cell phone with a small strap attached to it. Walking up to Tsubaki, he shoved the screen in his best friend's face, interrupting his meal.  
  
Tsubaki laughed, reached for the phone and stared at it intently, as if fixing his gaze on it long enough would somehow magically reveal the code. "What do you even want with that phone, Beru?"  
  
"I wanna hack into aaaaaaaall his accounts and make embarrassing posts!"  
  
Tsubaki burst out laughing and laughed and laughed until he choked and started coughing. "Ah... boring." He smirked. "Well, I know someone who could help us with the code... Sakuya!" he called. "Sakuya, can you help us?"  
  
"Nope," came a voice from the next room.  
  
Tsubaki pouted. "Why not? It's an emergency, Sakuya!"  
  
There was a sigh from next door. "An emergency by your definition or by my definition?"  
  
Tsubaki laughed again, stopped as abruptly as he always did, and caught his breath. "Boring." Pulling up his feet onto his chair and curling into a troubled ball, he sulked again. "But Sakuya doesn't want to help us even though it's an emergency... clearly Sakuya doesn't like us at all! Right, everyone?"  
  
Shamrock jumped to his feet, a troubled expression on his face. "Don't pay attention to that bastard, young master! I can still help with the code! Please let my humble self assist you with this code, I swear I'll do it better than Watanuki Sakuya ever could!"  
  
Berukia ignored him, turning towards the door instead. "Heeeeeey, Sakuya!" he yelled. "You've made Tsubakyun upset! Apologize to Tsubakyun!"  
  
Otogiri continued with her meal like nothing happened.  
  
The voice next door sighed again, louder this time. "If I apologize, is Tsubaki-san gonna apologize too?"  
  
"Apologize?" Tsubaki perked up, blinking at the door in confusion. "What do you want me to apologize for?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe for being a man-child who keeps making unreasonable requests. Or for not letting me see the work contract when you hired me as your errand girl. Pick one."  
  
Tsubaki looked offended. "When have I ever made an unreasonable request, Sakuya?"  
  
"I'm keeping a list." Sakuya poked his head through the door, glaring at his upperclassman. "It's filled twelve notebooks already. I'm close to finishing volume thirteen."  
  
Tsubaki looked torn between laughing and sulking.  
  
It wasn't Berukia who piped in before he could make up his mind. It wasn't Shamrock either. It was Otogiri, calmly putting down her chopsticks, swallowing a bite and turning around to face Sakuya. "We need help unlocking a cell phone," she explained, her voice showing no emotion whatsoever. "You're good at guessing people's codes, so can you please help us?"  
  
Sakuya rolled his eyes, shrugged, and made his way over to the table, reaching out for the phone. "Fine. Gimme."  
  
Tsubaki finally made up his mind and sulked. "So cruel, Sakuya," he whined, "why are you listening to Otogiri but not me? Are you mad at me? Do you not like me anymore? Nobody likes me..."  
  
"It's because she told me what she wanted from me and asked nicely," Sakuya deadpanned, staring at the phone's screen. "If you tried that, maybe I'd actually start listening to your requests for a change."  
  
Tsubaki perked up. "So you'll do more for me if I say please?"  
  
Sakuya couldn't help wondering if this was a trick question of some sort, but then he remembered that Tsubaki was Tsubaki and this was definitely a trick question. "Maybe," he said, eyeing his upperclassman suspiciously. "Depends on the stuff you ask of me."  
  
This answer seemed to be good enough for Tsubaki, who cheered up again and was back to his usual smiling self. Sakuya gave a relieved sigh. Honestly, he was lucky that his friend was so predictable in his moods, or he'd probably have gone nuts by now. Well, more nuts than he already was, anyway. Nobody could spend a prolonged amount of time around these losers and expect to stay sane.  
  
At least he was sane enough to focus back on the subject at hand, thoroughly examining the cell phone in his hand. "That the uh..." He searched for the right word. "The prisoner's phone?"  
  
The others nodded.  
  
That was all Sakuya needed to know. The guy they were holding captive was definitely the type to use the birthday of someone close and important to him as his code, so he just had to figure out whose. Not that there were many people to choose from in the first place... he'd just have to try the most likely ones.  
  
Well, now that he thought about it... there was just one person it could be.  
  
When was the guy's birthday again? He _knew_ he knew it, they'd been in the same class before. Some holiday... oh right, he remembered now. Smirking to himself, he typed _1224_ into the phone.  
  
 _Incorrect code. Please try again._  
  
Sakuya cursed under his breath. If the code wasn't that weirdo's birthday, then what was it? Had he assumed wrong, and the prisoner's code was just some random number? Was there something he was overlooking?  
  
Idly twirling the phone in his hands, he looked up at his companions. "You guys know anyone else Greed is close to, aside from that pianist guy? Or was close to? As in, really close, not his one-week flings."  
  
The others exchanged a puzzled glance and shook their heads.  
  
Sakuya was all but ready to sigh in resignation and give up on the stupid phone when a flash of realization crossed Tsubaki's face. "Now that you mention it, there was someone..." He smirked at the memory. "A girl."  
  
\---  
  
 _Where... am I?_  
  
The question pounded through Hyde's head with the same rhythm as the dull beats of pain hammering in his skull. Every single bone in him hurt. The smallest attempt to move sent sharp shots of pain through his entire body, tying him to the ground he lay on.  
  
Was he actually tied up? He thought he could feel something against his wrists, but he couldn't be too sure. Maybe they were just injured that badly. He couldn't tell. Every part of him hurt so much that he couldn't even say which position he lay in or if he still had all his limbs.  
  
He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids were glued together, refusing to part and at least let him see where he was, what had happened to him. Were they just that heavy? Was there something sticking them together? He couldn't say for sure. He would have tried opening them with his hands, but his arms wouldn't move.  
  
He had no idea what had happened to him. He had no idea where he was, or what the time was, or how long he had been here. All he knew was that he shouldn't be here, and he had to get away.  
  
There was no use. He couldn't move. He couldn't even open his eyes. All he could do was lie on the ground and wonder how things had ended up this way.  
  
 _Pathetic._  
  
How had he even ended up here? He knew he had to remember something, but his mind felt blank. There was something important he was forgetting. It was _right there_ , so close yet out of his reach. If only he could focus a little harder... if only he could concentrate, fix all his energy on this one memory... then maybe he could...  
  
It was no good. Dozens and dozens of memories flickered through his head, but none of them were the one he wanted. These memories weren't something he'd ever willingly bring back to his mind. He wanted to lock them away, forever and ever.  
  
Yet... at the same time he wanted to treasure them, treasure every single one, run them through his mind as often as possible. Everything else would be a betrayal of _her_. The only human being he had ever truly loved with all his heart.  
  
But... they hurt. He didn't want them to hurt. He didn't want to see them or hear them. He just wanted to be rid of all those unnecessary feelings, yet at the same time he wanted to keep them. It all didn't make sense. Nothing made sense.  
  
 _He_ wasn't making sense, Hyde realized. Were those the injuries speaking? Had he been hit over the head? Going by the dull pain in his skull, probably. Maybe he had also lost a lot of blood. He couldn't tell, but it felt like it. Maybe that was the reason why his thoughts kept spinning round and round and round in his head like a Ferris wheel or a dog chasing its own tail. He wasn't getting anywhere.  
  
His thoughts strayed back to school, to the people surrounding him. He wondered if any of them would miss him, if they'd go looking for him. For a split second he imagined Licht walking through town searching for him and let out a snort he immediately regretted when a stab of pain shot through his ribcage. There was no way Lichtan would move so much as a finger to find him. Besides, he was probably still stuck in bed anyway.  
  
Crantz would probably look for him though. And Guil. Maybe even Mahiru, that guy seemed like the type to get involved in everything if there was even the moderate chance that his help could be needed. Hyde wondered if he'd drag Kuro along. Big brother would never go looking for Hyde on his own, but if his new friend asked him to, there was no knowing what he could do.  
  
He wondered how long he'd been stuck in this place. Had the others noticed that he'd gone missing already? Had they even started looking for him, or were they still at the confused stage of wondering if anyone had seen him and trying to call him on his phone? How much longer would it take them to get here, if they were already on their way? Would they find him at all?  
  
Where in the world was he?  
  
Was the night already over? Was it morning yet? Noon, afternoon? He wondered what the others were doing right now. Were they still asleep? Were they getting ready for class, or sitting in class and trying not to doze off? Were they at lunch, or had club activities already started? For a short moment he found himself wondering how Licht was doing. Was he on the road to recovery? Had he taken his medicine? Maybe he was still waiting for his melon–  
  
 _Melon_.  
  
Little by little, everything came back to him. Licht refusing to take his medicine. Mahiru's deal with him. He'd been sent out to get melon and called Crantz, agreeing to meet up with him to get Licht his favorite food and leaving the dorm, and then...  
  
...and then he'd been ambushed.  
  
The memory was clear before his eyes, so clear that he had to remind himself he wasn't reliving it all again. Four figures stepped out from the shadows, surrounding him, closing in on him. The silhouettes looked familiar, but he couldn't see their faces. All he could see was their stances shifting, slowly, subtly getting ready for an attack.  
  
Then they pounced. All at once.  
  
Hyde tried to fight back. He punched and kicked and clawed, but it was useless. He dodged one attack only to be hit by another. Stabs of pain shot through his body from every direction. Cuts. Bruises. Broken bones. One of them had hurt his forehead, and the blood trickled into his eye, gluing it shut, dripping on his shirt, falling on the ground.  
  
Hyde could feel his strength slowly fading from his body. No good. He couldn't do this... he was outnumbered. He had to get away.  
  
Swinging at one of the figures with the last strength he could muster, he ducked and tried to run. The punch connected. There was a yelp, and the figure staggered back, creating an opening.  
  
Now or never.  
  
Hyde darted forward, not caring where he was going. All he cared about was getting away. Away from these shadows. Away from these freaks.  
  
Every part of him hurt. Blood trickled from his fresh wounds. His head was light. No matter how fast he ran, he didn't seem to be moving forward at all.  
  
 _Faster. I need to go faster!_  
  
His legs threatened to give way. Gritting his teeth, he staggered forward, trying to increase his speed, to run faster than he had ever run before. He couldn't stop here. He had to get away!  
  
A shadow appeared next to him. Hyde tried to dodge it, but his foot caught on something and he fell, crashing onto the ground, his entire body screaming in pain.  
  
The shadow leaned over him, and when it spoke, the voice sounded eerily familiar.  
  
"You shouldn't go out alone so late at night, big brother."  
  
Then something struck the back of his head, and there was nothing.  
  
Hyde shuddered, shaking off the memory. Replaying it in his head wouldn't help him. Tsubaki had caught him, for a reason he couldn't understand, and he was here now, trapped. He hadn't been careful and this was the price he had to pay. Well, not that it mattered.  
  
There was another question that mattered much more. How in the world had Tsubaki and the others known that he was going out in the first place?  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya typed in the code, waited and gave the others a triumphant look. "Unlocked it!"  
  
"That's Sakuya for you!" Tsubaki patted him on the back in an almost affectionate gesture. "Who else would have thought he could be using that girl's birthdate as his code?" He laughed. "You're becoming predictable, big brother!"  
  
Shamrock looked less than happy. "Young master, if you had trusted me with this honorable task, I swear that I could have done it in the exact same amount of time, or, if I may be so bold–"  
  
"Gimme the phone!" Berukia interrupted him, snatching the device out of Sakuya's hands and staring at the screen with a curious sparkle in his eyes. "I wanna seeeeeeee!"  
  
He gazed at it for awhile as his eyes widened with surprise. Then, without warning, he shoved the phone in Tsubaki's face. "Tsubakyun, look, look! Sooooo many missed caaaaalls, and aaaall from the same person!"  
  
Tsubaki took the phone in his hands and looked at it, smirking to himself. It displayed eighteen missed calls from a certain _Angel-chan_ , as well as two unread messages.  
  
 _ANSWER YOUR PHONE SHIT RAT. where are you?! I WANT MY MELON_  
  
 _i'm gonna find u._  
  
Tsubaki's smirk widened as he placed the phone down on the table, looking into his companions' eyes with a dark glee. "Looks like we'll have one more person to take care of."


	15. Find Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Pianist, would you mind accompanying this old man for some time?"

Sakuya didn't return until lunch break was over. He evaded all his friends' questions, only giving vague answers about where he'd been, who he had been with or what he had been doing. When the others gave him disbelieving looks, he laughed it all off and was done with it.  
  
Mahiru, however, wasn't done with it yet. Despite his best friend's behavior, he could see that something wasn't right. Sakuya looked more serious than usual, more... gloomy, somehow. Had something happened? Was he hiding anything?  
  
Maybe he was just imagining things. Maybe Sakuya was fine, just a little tired, and it was his own nervousness and worry over Hyde that made him read too much into everything. Yes, Sakuya was definitely okay, and nothing weird had happened or anything. He'd just been talking with the same third-years he had studied with yesterday. Mahiru should definitely stop overthinking.  
  
But then why was he getting the feeling that something _was_ wrong? Truly, seriously wrong?  
  
He shook it off. Now's not the time to think about that, he reminded himself. He needed to think about how they were going to find Hyde again. He'd have to contact the others later and ask for their help; he had the feeling that he'd need everyone, Kuro, Misono and Lily, Tetsu and Hugh, Mikuni and Jeje too if he could reach them. A member of their team was in danger. Was Tsubaki behind this? He could only guess, but his gut feeling told him that he was.  
  
Double checking to make sure the teacher wasn't looking at him, Shirota Mahiru, class representative of 2-A and member of the disciplinary committee, broke a major school rule. He slipped his cell phone out of his bag and wrote a message to everyone.  
  
 _Emergency! Hyde has gone missing. Meet me in the staircase after classes._  
  
Now all he could hope was that they'd respond to his call.  
  
\---  
  
The afternoon classes ticked by at a snail's pace. Mahiru couldn't focus on anything. Every few seconds his eyes strayed to the clock, cursing the slow passage of time, his legs shaking impatiently. This was an emergency; he shouldn't be sitting here studying when one of his allies was in danger! Maybe Hyde wasn't exactly a friend, but that didn't mean Mahiru didn't still care about him, worry about him now that he had disappeared without a trace.  
  
What would they do if it was Tsubaki who had caused his disappearance?  
  
They'd probably have to fight. Not just him either, but probably an entire gang he had assembled while no one was watching. Maybe they'd have to negotiate to get Hyde back safe and sound. What would they have to negotiate with? Was there anything Tsubaki would want in return?  
  
What did Tsubaki want from the Servamps in the first place?  
  
He had mentioned something about revenge. Revenge for what, exactly? All Mahiru had were clues and hints. Had he captured Hyde as part of his revenge, whatever it was for? If it really had been him, that is. Mahiru couldn't think of anyone else who could have done it. Student council, perhaps... but then he'd already know. Right?  
  
Great, his thoughts were going in circles. His mind was too nervous and restless to really do anything, running round and round and round in loops as it spun around the subject, trying to come up with a plan, some sort of solution, and failing over and over again. This wouldn't do. He needed someone who was better at making plans, someone who could keep a cool head in this sort of crisis. Misono, perhaps. Or Mikuni. He so hoped that at least one of them would show up.  
  
His eyes strayed to the clock again. Five more minutes, and class would be over. Five more eternities.  
  
Four more eternities.  
  
Three... two... one...  
  
The bell rang, and Mahiru jumped to his feet faster than the teacher could finish his lesson. He stumbled, tripped, knocked all his books and pencils off his desk, hurriedly picked them all up, dropped half of them again, picked them up a second time, stuffed everything into his bag and rushed towards the classroom door. From the corner of his eye he could see Kuro staring after him with a puzzled expression and getting ready to follow him. He knew that he should probably wait for his friend, but right now he didn't care. Right now he had to meet up with everyone as fast as possible and explain the situation to them. It was urgent; he couldn't afford to waste a single moment.  
  
Darting out into the hallway, he almost crashed face-first into Crantz.  
  
"Whoa!" the teacher exclaimed, stumbling back at the same time as Mahiru did. "Mahiru-kun? Steady there, why are you in such a hurry?"  
  
Mahiru regained his balance, bit back the urge to rush past him and glanced up at Crantz' face. Going by his expression, the teacher of 2-A still hadn't heard anything from Hyde, but it probably wouldn't hurt to ask, just in case. "I'm going to ask some friends for help in finding Hyde... Mr. Crantz, you don't happen to have heard anything from him, do you?"  
  
Crantz shook his head and sighed. "Nothing," he replied. "Actually, Mahiru-kun... speaking of disappearances, can I ask you for a quick favor?"  
  
Every part of Mahiru wanted to say no, but his manners prevailed. "Sure?"  
  
"Excellent." Crantz gave him a smile, but it shook and slipped, turning into a nervous lopsided something. " _Merci beaucoup._ "  
  
That caught Mahiru's attention. Crantz never randomly lapsed into French, not unless he was angry or overjoyed or on the verge of panicking. Something was wrong, and Mahiru suspected that it wasn't just Hyde's disappearance.  
  
"The thing is," Crantz continued, "would you mind checking on Licht for me? Normally he contacts me when he's sick and asks for the day's worksheets and homework, but I haven't heard anything from him all day." He frowned. "I hope he's not seriously ill."  
  
 _Or worse._  
  
Mahiru could feel his entire body tense up. If Hyde had gone missing... was it possible that they had taken Licht too? What if he had also been kidnapped? What would they do if Hyde and Licht had both gone missing?  
  
He forced himself to keep his breath steady. There was no need to panic, not yet. Maybe Licht was okay. Maybe he had simply fallen asleep and slept through the whole day, or maybe he had started playing that one cat game on his phone and lost track of time. After all, it was one thing to kidnap a guy in an empty street at night, but it couldn't be that easy to sneak into a school dorm and back out without being noticed, right?  
  
"Okay," he said breathlessly. "Right. I'll do that."  
  
Crantz nodded, smiled gratefully and hurried down the hallway.  
  
Mahiru just stood there, starstruck. His head was spinning. Another person who might be missing, in less than a day. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. He'd just have to go to Licht's room and check and he'd know it wasn't true. He knew he should run, should hurry and take care of everything, but his legs wouldn't listen. His knees felt like melting butter. If he moved now they might give way and send him tumbling to the ground.  
  
"Earth to Mahiru, on what planet are you?"  
  
A hand waved in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance. Kuro was standing next to him, observing him with a mixture of confusion and worry, and he instantly felt safer. He wasn't in this alone. Kuro was with him. And so were the others, hopefully.  
  
"What? I, ah, it's just..." His voice was a shaky mess. He was still reeling, resisting the urge to grab onto Kuro's shoulders and cling to them for safety and comfort, borrowing his friend's calm strength for a moment. "Mr. Crantz just asked me to check up on Licht... he hasn't heard a thing from him all day and it's weird." Suddenly the words came out like a waterfall, hurrying out one after another as if something had broken a dam. "Maybe he's just asleep or busy but what if he's really sick or what if he went missing just like Hyde? What if he's been kidnapped too, what are we gonna do? What if something's happened to him and I couldn't do anything to stop him even though I wanted to protect everyone and, and–"  
  
Kuro poked a finger at his forehead. "Stop."  
  
Mahiru blinked up at him, completely thrown completely off his track. "What?"  
  
"Stop thinking so much, I can feel your brain overheating." Kuro tapped his finger against Mahiru's head. "You're such a pain when you overthink stuff... just stick to what you're good at."  
  
Mahiru's eyes widened. "Kuro..." he said, moved. "Are you trying to calm me down?"  
  
Then a thought crossed his head before Kuro could answer, and his amazement turned to annoyance. "Wait! Did you just say I'm not good at thinking?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "That's what you said."  
  
"Geez, can't you just be nice without insulting me for a change?" Mahiru huffed, throwing a playful punch at his friend before pausing. It had worked, he realized. Kuro had effectively calmed him down just by acting normal and teasing him and being Kuro.  
  
He'd be so lost without him right now.  
  
Kuro must have noticed the change in his emotions, because he turned his head away, avoiding his gaze. ""You go look for Angel-chan," he mumbled off to the side. "I'm gonna tell the others what's up. It's a pain, but it's less troublesome than you freaking yourself out."  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru smiled, wrapping his fingers around his friend's hand and squeezing it with honest gratitude. "Thank you!"  
  
The delinquent turned away and started walking towards the staircase. "Can't deal."  
  
His cheeks were all red... Mahiru couldn't help but smile even more as he threw a fond glance after his friend. Kuro still wasn't used to people being nice to him and thanking him, was he? But he did look happy, happy and flustered, even if he didn't smile. He never did, Mahiru realized; in all the weeks they had spent together he hadn't seen Kuro smile even once.  
  
He wondered what his smile looked like.  
  
Maybe he'd find out eventually. Now wasn't the time for that. He had to check up on Licht and make sure he was okay.  
  
He was still nervous. He was still worried as all hell. But at least he wasn't panicking anymore.  
  
\---  
  
The distance from the classroom to the dorm had never felt so long.  
  
Mahiru ran faster than he had ever run before, but he wasn't moving forward at all. The entrance of the dorm seemed frozen in place, always at the same distance no matter how hard he ran, as if he was chasing after a mirage in the desert. His legs were getting heavy, but he kept running. His breath was getting short, but he kept running. He tripped and nearly fell and twisted his ankle, but he kept running.  
  
 _Please let Licht be in his room. Please let Licht be in his room. Please let Licht be in his room._  
  
Of course he would, Mahiru tried to reassure himself. There was nowhere else he could possibly be, not with his cold and fever and everything.  
  
So why wouldn't that nervous little voice in his mind shut up?  
  
He gritted his teeth, trying to run even faster, trying to go beyond his limits, racing along the path towards the dorm. Every part of his legs was screaming, protesting, but he kept going. His lungs were gasping, desperately begging for air, but he didn't care. All he cared about was getting there faster. And faster. And even faster.  
  
He darted in through the entrance, stumbled up the stairs and raced over to the door of Licht's room, coming to a skidding halt and resting his hands on his knees, gasping and panting as his lungs sucked in the much-needed oxygen and his heart pounded against his ribcage with exhaustion and fear. Just for a short moment he allowed himself to rest, then he got back up and knocked on the door.  
  
"Licht?" he asked, still slightly breathless. "Licht, you in there? Are you okay?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Licht, this is Mahiru!" he tried again, a little louder and just a little more desperate. "I'm just checking to make sure you're all right, so say something, okay? Mr. Crantz is worried because he hasn't heard from you all day... Licht, answer me!"  
  
Silence.  
  
Mahiru swallowed the lump of worry caught in his throat and knocked again. "Licht, I'm coming in!"  
  
 _The moment of truth._  
  
He braced himself for anything he might see, swallowed again and opened the door.  
  
The first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty.  
  
Even though Licht had been sleeping in it earlier it was carefully made, the blanket neatly spread over the mattress, the pillow shaken up and the stuffed animal sleeping soundly on top of it. Wherever Licht had gone, he had apparently taken the time to get rid of any messes in his room before.  
  
The second thing he noticed was that Licht's jacket, shoes and phone had all gone missing.  
  
Mahiru's mind was blank. The only thing he felt was the cold, creeping fear that snaked its way around his throat and cut off the air.  
  
"Licht!" he screamed, knowing it was futile yet hoping against hope. "Licht!"  
  
He listened, but there was no answer, only the echo of his own desperate voice.  
  
He had come too late. Licht was gone.  
  
His legs finally gave way, and he slumped to the ground, staring blankly at the floor. What now? He should probably get back up, he should hurry back to school and tell Crantz and the others that they were missing another student. He should probably organize a search party and look for Licht and Hyde. He should do something quickly, this was no time to sit around and mope.  
  
He knew all that. But his legs refused to listen. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get up. A thought was weighing him down, a thought that had finally caught up with him after he'd been trying to avoid it for so long.  
  
Was all of this his fault?  
  
Hyde had been abducted when he had sent him to get melon for Licht. Would he still be here if he hadn't gone out so late last night, all alone? Would Licht still be here? If his instinct was right and Licht's disappearance was connected to Hyde's, had he brought both of them into trouble? If they were injured somewhere, was it his thoughtlessness that had got them hurt? Had he put the lives of two students on the line just by being careless?  
  
Hot tears welled up in his eyes, burning with panic and despair and regret. He blinked them back, but more came, gathering in his lashes and blurring the pattern of the ground below.  
  
 _I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so, so sorry._  
  
He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, trying to regain his strength and get up and forcing back the tears. Maybe just a minute, maybe ten. To him it felt like an eternity.  
  
An eternity that was suddenly interrupted by his phone buzzing.  
  
Snapping out of his daze, he reached into his pocket and turned on the screen to be greeted by a new message from Kuro.  
  
 _where r u_  
  
He was just about to wonder if he should reply when his phone buzzed a second time, revealing a second message that was slightly longer.  
  
 _done explaining wyd so long_  
  
That was right. He could always blame himself later. He'd kept the others waiting long enough. Right now he had to tell them what was going on and come up with a plan to rescue Licht and Hyde.  
  
The weight on his shoulders dissolved, and he scrambled to his feet, hurriedly typing a reply into his phone as he started running back towards the school.  
  
 _Be right back._  
  
\---  
  
The world looked and felt surreal. Licht knew he was walking down this road, but it seemed distant, like an illusion, like a feverish dream flickering on and off in his consciousness.  
  
Was this the cold speaking? He felt tired. Exhausted. His head was pounding with pain. His throat felt parched. He felt hot and cold all at once. Each step drained every ounce of his strength, yet at the same time he felt like he was walking on air. The sunlight was too bright. The birds were too loud. All he wanted was to sit down and close his eyes and tune out the world until he was rested.  
  
Maybe he should have taken his medicine after all. Then he wouldn't be in this sorry state right now, his fever wouldn't have gone up again and he'd be able to walk without almost passing out after every step. He had overestimated his strength, and going outside was just making it worse.  
  
And maybe Hyde wouldn't have disappeared if he'd just taken his medicine instead of demanding melon and sending him out late in the evening. Maybe if he had taken his medicine, the two of them would be in his room right now, exchanging petty insults and starting a pillow fight and just being themselves until Mahiru or the dorm mother came in and yelled at them for being too loud.  
  
The longer he pondered it, the nicer it sounded...  
  
He groaned. _My fever must be really bad._ Had he seriously just thought spending time with _Hyde_ of all people would be nice? No. Hell no. He banished that thought far, far away, into the furthest, darkest corner of his brain, and locked it up so it would stay there.  
  
He was tired, so tired. His knees felt like jelly, soft and shaky and ready to give way at any given moment. Gritting his teeth, he steadied himself, holding onto a garden fence as he slowly moved forward. His hands trembled. Where was he? There was no way he could find Hyde in his current state. He could barely tell what his own hands were doing.  
  
His free hand slid into his pocket, closing around the cell phone inside. It would take him a few seconds to take it out, one minute to call Crantz to pick him up and take him back to the dorm. With every passing heartbeat the idea sounded more and more tempting...  
  
No, he wouldn't give in. He wasn't that weak. He was Licht Jekylland Todoroki. He had put it into his head to find Hyde, and find Hyde he would, at whatever cost. There was no way he was giving up now.  
  
Slowly, step by step, he staggered on. He had no idea where he was going, and he didn't need one. All that led him around was his instinct. That had always been enough to find Hyde, for better or for worse, and it would be enough now too. If he just followed his instinct for long enough, he'd stumble upon Hyde again for sure.  
  
 _If he didn't get hurt or kidnapped, anyway._  
  
He shut down that train of thought before it could leave the station. Hyde was fine. What the hell was he worrying for?  
  
Wait... he was _worried?_ About Hyde? No, no, no, no, no. That was wrong on so many levels. He just didn't like not knowing where he had disappeared to. That was all, honestly.  
  
A small part of his brain still didn't seem convinced, but he could bother with that later. Right now wasn't the time to question his feelings towards Hyde, whatever they were. Right now he had to keep his eyes and ears open and–  
  
He stumbled into something and staggered back.  
  
Blinking up at whatever he had just walked into, he found himself glancing at a familiar face. A pair of red eyes met his own blue ones. A low red ponytail fell down to the ground. An elderly stubble-bearded face looked at him with curiosity, lips blowing out a cloud of smoke that quickly dissolved in the air.  
  
Higan. The eccentric chain-smoking art teacher... what was he doing here?  
  
Had they already noticed his disappearance and started searching for him in town? But he hadn't been out for that long, had he? And if anyone were to look for him, it would probably be Crantz or the guys from the music club or his classmates.  
  
So what was Higan doing here?  
  
He narrowed his eyes, giving the teacher an icy glare even as he held onto a lamppost to stay on his feet. "What do you want from me?"  
  
"You're the pianist from 2-A, aren't you? Licht Whatshisname?" Higan smiled almost innocently, took another breath from his cigarette and blew the smoke in Licht's face. "Pianist, would you mind accompanying this old man for some time?"  
  
Licht coughed, trying to get the smoke back out of his body, and gave the teacher a defiant scowl. "I don't go anywhere with creeps."  
  
Higan looked slightly offended for a second but quickly recovered. "That's too bad," he said, "but you have no choice. Tsubaki can't have you walking around the town any longer."  
  
Licht snapped upright. "Tsubaki?" he repeated, all five senses roaring to life at the name. "What does he have to do with this? What did you do to the shit rat?"  
  
Higan blinked, genuinely puzzled. "Who?"  
  
"Hyde!" Licht burst out, anger boiling in his blood, giving him a strength he'd never had before. "Where's Hyde, what have you bastards done to him?"  
  
"Oh!" Higan's eyes widened with understanding, and he smirked. "You'll find him soon enough, but we can't let you know the way to his location." He stepped closer, lighting another cigarette. "This old man will have to carry you."  
  
Licht swallowed as the whole situation clicked together before his eyes. Tsubaki and the gang had kidnapped Hyde. He was being held captive somewhere, and now they were trying to capture him too.  
  
He clenched his teeth, stepping up to Higan, accepting his challenge. "This old man's gonna get his ass kicked," he snapped, shooting an icy glare at the teacher. "Like hell I'm gonna let you freaks kidnap me!"  
  
Before he could even get into a fighting stance, something darted forward, ripping through his shirt and jacket and leaving a burning gash on his arm.  
  
He flinched, trying to understand what had happened, when Higan attacked again.  
  
Licht stumbled back. His foot caught on the pavement, losing its grip, and he tripped, crashing onto the ground. There was another gash on his skin, burning on his chest like a thin line of fire.  
  
Anger shot through him at the same time as the pain did. He scrambled back to his feet, eyes fixed on Higan, watching his every move. Nobody treated him like this and got away with it. Not as long as he was still alive and kicking.  
  
This time he wouldn't wait for another attack. This time it was his turn to attack.  
  
He dashed forward, swinging his leg up in a roundhouse kick, the kind that would knock even Hyde out. _Not taking any chances._  
  
Taking a step back, he looked to see the damage he had done.  
  
There was none. Higan was still on his feet, unhurt, smiling down on him.  
  
Licht darted forward and kicked again. Higan dodged.  
  
Another kick. Higan dodged.  
  
Licht hissed in frustration. It was futile. His attacks were lost on Higan. Just how fast was this guy?  
  
The fiery rage faded in his chest. Licht could feel his strength fading with every breath. His legs felt shaky. The ground was swaying beneath him like a ship in a storm. The edge of his vision started to darken.  
  
No. _No!_ He couldn't pass out here! He couldn't let his weakness get the better of him. If he did... Higan would capture him for sure.  
  
Gritting his teeth, he mustered every last bit of strength he had. One more attack. This time he'd make it. He had to.  
  
He could see himself beating Higan, and beat Higan he would.  
  
He took a few steps back, ran towards the teacher, swung his leg, leaped into the air and kicked with the other.  
  
This time it connected.  
  
To a hand stopping his attack.  
  
Higan smiled again as Licht struggled against his grip, struggled to break free while struggling to keep a grip on his consciousness. He was losing both battles. His strength was drained.  
  
It was over.  
  
The last thing he sensed was a pair of arms lifting him up, and then the world faded to black.  
  
\---  
  
The sound of a door opening snapped Hyde out of his half-sleeping daze. A bright light fell onto his closed eyelids, followed by a shadow and quiet footsteps. There was a thud of something heavy hitting the ground, then the footsteps moved away, and for a moment the light hit Hyde's eyes again before the door slammed shut and all was dark and quiet once more.  
  
Hyde tried to drift off again, but something was keeping him awake. Something in this room had changed. For some reason it didn't seem as quiet anymore. Just what in the world had that person dropped off just now?  
  
Focusing on the sound of silence, he held his breath. And then it hit him.  
  
There was someone breathing nearby. His kidnapper had brought another person into the room.  
  
Was it another one of the Servamps? A classmate? A stranger? Or could it be...  
  
No way. It couldn't possibly be him. He was at the dorm right now, probably sleeping to cure his cold. Why should he be here?  
  
Hyde struggled, but he still couldn't open his eyes. Something made his lashes stick together as if they were superglued. Blood, probably. And he couldn't even move his arms to try and get rid of it.  
  
What a pathetic situation. Here he was, locked up somewhere, beaten up so badly that he couldn't move, stuck in a room with another person he couldn't even see, all just because he'd gone out to get melon last night.  
  
It was so pathetic he couldn't help laughing. "All this just for melon!" he burst out, shouting to himself, not caring who could hear him. "All this just because Angel-chan had to be a spoiled brat! How's that sound, Lichtan? This is how the world works! You can get hurt and beaten up and killed over the tiniest little things! It's all meaningless, a stupid little joke–"  
  
"Shut. Up."  
  
Hyde fell silent, the words catching in his throat. This voice... Impossible. He couldn't be here. Was he hearing voices already? Was he hallucinating because of the blood loss? Had he been hit over the head too hard? Was he starting to lose his mind?  
  
"You actually shut up," the voice continued. "That's a first."  
  
Maybe Hyde was finally going crazy, but this voice sounded just a little too real to be a hallucination.  
  
"Licht?" he asked, hopeful and terrified at the same time. "Lichtan, are you here?"  
  
"Where do you think I am, shit rat?" the voice snapped, and this time it was real beyond doubt. "I'm right behind you! Look over your shoulder, moron."  
  
He was real.  
  
Hyde understood that much, but he didn't understand anything else.  
  
"How... why...?" There were so many questions in his mind, buzzing like a panicked swarm of bees, all trying to get out at the same time and blocking each other's path. "What are you doing here? They didn't kidnap you from your room, did they?"  
  
"I was looking for you."  
  
Hyde opened his mouth and closed it again. Any words he had were stuck in his throat. Licht had been looking for him? _Him?_ Even though he was sick and supposed to stay in bed?  
  
"Why?" he finally burst out. "Why were you...?! You're supposed to be resting, Angel-chan! So why..."  
  
"Melon."  
  
If Hyde's eyes hadn't been glued closed, they would have widened to the size of dinner plates now. "What?"  
  
"I wanted my melon!" Licht snapped, his tone annoyed and... a little embarrassed? "You promised me melon, so where is it, shit rat? Next time I'm getting it myself!"  
  
Hyde lay silent for about a second, then he burst out laughing.  
  
"Melon!" he exclaimed, howling with laughter. "Lichtan, are you for real? You went out to look for me just because you wanted your favorite food? I'm not even sure if I should be happy or sad, Angel-chan!"  
  
"Don't let it get to your head, dumbass! I just went to look for you 'cause I was bored!"  
  
Hyde's laughter dissolved into giggles and finally stopped. His eyes, finally washed clean of the blood thanks to his tears of laughter, fluttered and slowly opened to take in a dark room. A storage room, by the looks of it, filled with junk that was only half-visible in the sparse light seeping through from underneath the door and decorated with cobwebs. Licht was nowhere to be seen; he was somewhere behind his head. Hyde tried to turn around and flinched. Everything still hurt, and laughing had just reopened all his wounds and made them hurt even more.  
  
He cursed his luck and tried again. For some reason he really wanted to see Licht's face, look into his eyes. The eyes of the guy who had just admitted that he'd been bored without him, the guy who had started looking for him even though he was barely strong enough to stand. What expression did those eyes have right now? Was he embarrassed to have admitted that he cared, at least a little? Was he not bothered by that fact? Had he even realized what he had just said?  
  
Was he realizing how comforting his presence was to Hyde?  
  
He knew he should be even more worried now that his classmate had also been captured and locked in here with him, but for some reason he felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't alone anymore. Maybe he was just grateful to be able to speak to someone again, to kill time until they found a way out or figured out what their kidnappers wanted from them. Maybe he somehow felt like it would be easier to get out of here now that he wasn't alone, even though Licht was weakened and feverish and he was so injured he could barely move. Maybe it was a combination of all these.  
  
Or maybe it was something else he didn't quite understand. Yet, anyway.  
  
Licht seemed to be feeling the same, or maybe he just wasn't discouraged, ever. Either way he shifted and struggled, probably trying to get up or at least move into Hyde's field of vision. "Let's get out of here."  
  
Hyde snorted. "Let's get out of here?" he repeated incredulously. "Angel-chan, do you even realize what a mess we're in? It's not like we can just open the door and walk out, you know–"  
  
A foot nudged his shoulder none too gently, there was a sound of cords tearing, and a moment later Licht's face was hovering above him as the pianist gave him an unsympathetic glare. "Get up."  
  
The pain in his ribcage was the only thing that stopped Hyde from laughing again.  
  
"What do you mean, get up?" he snapped at the boy above him. "I can't get up, Lichtan! Everything hurts, I bet all my bones are broken!"  
  
"Quit complaining and get up! I'm not gonna haul you out of here!"  
  
"I can't move!" Hyde yelled and hissed as another stab of pain shot through his side. "I couldn't even turn around earlier! Not everyone is a magical super-powered angel who runs on determination alone, you know? Some of us are human!"  
  
"You're not even trying!"  
  
" _What's the point?_ "  
  
Licht took a step back, startled by Hyde's sudden outburst. Hyde didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. His entire body was hurting, and he was sick and tired of being told about willpower and determination and all that other stupid idealistic garbage.  
  
"What's the point if I know I can't do it anyway?" he spat at Licht. "Do you think anyone can do anything just by wanting it and working hard? Then why do some people make it and many others don't? Were they not trying hard enough? No! They just didn't have the luck! Fortune! Coincidence! In the end, it's all about coincidence! The world does whatever it wants, and we're nothing but puppets in its hands! Why do you still think the power of trying hard can change anything?"  
  
Licht looked at him in silence for a long moment, fists clenched, blue eyes alight with a cold fire. "Bullshit," he finally said. "What the hell are you talking about? Luck? Coincidence? We're not puppets!"  
  
He stepped around Hyde and knelt down next to him, grabbed his collar and yanked him upright. "Listen! We have our own free will! We can choose who we are and what we do! We're not puppets of fate unless we decide to be!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" Hyde shot back. "Then prove it! Show me one person who made it big without help from luck!"  
  
"Why don't you prove your point first, shit rat? Show me one person who tried their best and didn't make it!"  
  
An image flashed through Hyde's mind, a familiar face, painfully familiar even after so many lonely months. A story he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried.  
  
"Nothing easier than that," he said bitterly, his voice crumbling down to barely more than a whisper. "Once upon a time..."


	16. Truth Be Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm Ophelia!"

The others looked up when Mahiru darted down the hallway and stumbled into the staircase, gasping for breath. "Shirota!" Misono greeted him, impatient and a little worried. "What took you so long, you bas–"  
  
"Licht is gone!"  
  
There was a moment's silence. Five pairs of eyes widened, staring at Mahiru, then at each other, wondering if the others had heard what they had heard.  
  
Misono was the first to regain his composure. "What did you say?"  
  
Mahiru took a deep breath and leaned against a railing, trying to calm his body down. "Licht's not in his room anymore," he said, trying to keep a cool head, to make sense. "Mr. Crantz hasn't heard from him all day either. That makes one more missing student... what are we gonna do?"  
  
"Not so fast." Misono stepped forward, arms crossed, purple eyes radiating the cool-headed composure of a leader. "Shirota, we know that Hyde probably got kidnapped, but do we know anything about Todoroki's disappearance? Maybe he went out himself."  
  
"That'd be bad enough," Mahiru replied, frowning. "His fever's still pretty bad... he's not supposed to go out in that state!"  
  
Lily nodded sympathetically. "I agree, that would be bad. But Misono is right, Mahiru-kun... were there any hints that showed if he went out or was kidnapped? Traces of a fight, maybe?"  
  
Mahiru closed his eyes, focusing to make the image of Licht's empty room appear in his mind. "I haven't seen any," he said slowly. "He even made the bed... and I think his jacket and shoes were missing. And his phone."  
  
Misono nodded. "Then he went out."  
  
Mahiru let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Misono was right. Licht may have done something stupid, but he wasn't in imminent danger.  
  
Kuro didn't look entirely convinced yet. "What if the kidnappers just cleaned up the room after taking him? Like, to make us think he's fine, or something."  
  
"Unlikely." Misono's gaze didn't waver at all. "First of all, if someone actually came into the dorm to kidnap him, they would have to get out again quickly before the dorm mother or any students discovered them. I highly doubt they'd take the time to clean up the room. Especially considering this is Todoroki we're talking about, we all know how much destruction he is capable of, there is no way they could have cleaned up all that without professional help and a lot of time on their hands. Even if they tried to take him in his sleep I doubt he would've let them without putting up a fight. Second of all, there would be no point in trying to make us think it was not a kidnapping because this is inevitably what will come to our minds after Hyde vanished. Besides," he let his eyes wander over everyone assembled in the staircase, "what would be the point in kidnapping him from his room? There is none I can think of, it'd be way easier to kidnap him in an empty street. No, he went out."  
  
Tetsu stared at him with wide eyes. "That was amazing."  
  
Misono gave him a sidelong glance but couldn't hide the slight blush adorning his cheeks. "That was simple logic, Sendagaya."  
  
"Logic or no," Mahiru piped in, "how's that gonna help us find Licht and Hyde? We still don't know where they are, do we?"  
  
Kuro yawned and slumped against the wall. "Has anybody tried calling Angel-chan?"  
  
Awkward silence.  
  
Mahiru groaned and smacked his palm against his forehead. "Dammit, why didn't I think of that?" he burst out. "Of course, if Licht's not kidnapped and he has his phone with him then we should be able to reach him! Right?"  
  
The others nodded, expressions ranging from slightly confused to moderately exasperated.  
  
Mahiru rummaged through his bag and took out his phone, hurriedly searching for Licht's name in his contacts and dialing the number. _Please pick up,_ he begged silently as he waited for the line to connect. _Please pick up and tell us where you are. That'll give us one less person to worry about._  
  
There was a beep, and the phone went straight to voicemail.  
  
Mahiru hung up and sighed. "Can't reach him," he said gloomily. "His phone's turned off. Either he turned it off himself or his battery died."  
  
"That makes it much harder to find him." Misono frowned. "We don't know how long Todoroki has been missing or what direction he went in, so we can't even say where to look for him. We'll have to focus on Hyde right now and hope that we'll find both of them if we find one."  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise. "You think Licht went after Hyde? I thought they didn't like each other!"  
  
"And still they're always together." Misono took out a pen and spun it idly in his fingers. "They sit next to each other in class. They eat lunch together. They study together. From what your friend told you, Hyde even took care of Todoroki when he got sick yesterday. That sounds an awful lot like friendship to me, even if they don't want to admit it. I know it's Hyde always seeking Todoroki out, but there's a good chance that now that he disappeared, Todoroki got either lonely or worried enough to start looking for him."  
  
Mahiru nodded. "That makes sense... he did come to me early this morning and asked if I'd seen Hyde."  
  
"Exactly. Todoroki might have had an idea where to look for Hyde and found him, or he might have been picked up by Hyde's kidnappers somewhere, in which case they're also together now, that's all speculation. One way or another, we might have a hint on where Hyde disappeared." Misono took a step towards Mahiru. "Shirota, did Mr. Crantz tell you when and where he was supposed to meet him last night?"  
  
Mahiru shook his head.  
  
"Find that out, and also ask him when exactly Hyde called him and when he arrived at the meeting point. We need to narrow down the timeframe and area where Hyde disappeared, then we can look for witnesses and search the town for witnesses and possible hideouts." Misono frowned, moving thoughts and ideas around his mind like puzzle pieces, arranging and rearranging them at lightning speed. "We might need a larger search party. Does anyone of you know any trustworthy people who can help?"  
  
Hugh stood up. "You may leave that task to me, gentlemen," he declared, proudly raising his head. "I have scores of trusty servants at my beck and call. Fear not, for you have me!"  
  
Everyone stared at him in awe. Hugh seemed to have grown taller, looking almost dignified, standing in the middle of the group with his hands on his hips and a self-confident smile on his face.  
  
"Amazing," Tetsu blurted out. "Hugh, you always know what to do!" He stared at his friend for a moment before asking, "Uh... how much's a score though?"  
  
"Twenty," Misono replied without looking at him. Addressing Hugh, he added, "Alright then, we'll leave that part of the task to you. Don't disappoint us."  
  
Hugh grew even taller. "Certainly not!"  
  
"Scores of servants," Mahiru remarked, more to himself than to Kuro. "What is he, a yakuza or something?"  
  
"Or something," Hugh answered. "Go, freshman! You have been sent on an important quest, do not think of returning without information!"  
  
Mahiru wanted to say something, but he just nodded and kept his mouth shut. Hugh was right. He had an important job to do, and they had no time left to lose. Who knew what was at stake.  
  
\---  
  
"Once upon a time..."  
  
The memories came back before Hyde could ask them to, rushing over him like a tidal wave, flooding his mind with voices and images, everything he had banned to the darkest, loneliest corners of his mind and locked up for so long. It was all still so real, so close, so vivid, like he was still there and living through everything again as he spoke, without being able to stop the unrelenting flow of time.  
  
Her face was still ingrained within his memory in every detail like a living, breathing, moving photograph, charming and dazzling, unreal yet more real than life itself. He remembered her sparkling green eyes peeking at him through long dark lashes, he remembered that long, flowing bright hair cascading down her shoulders like a waterfall, he remembered those lips that would so often curl up into a playful smile, he remembered that beauty mark beneath her eye and her slender, graceful figure and the way she moved and spoke and laughed. He remembered her voice, sweet and charming yet cruel, never letting him hear the words he had always wanted to hear the most.  
  
He remembered moving into a new neighborhood as a child, a wide-eyed nine-year-old, nervous and shy but eager to make friends. After unpacking he walked over to the window and looked outside for the first time, and that was when he saw her– a pretty girl, about his age, sitting in the open window of the house across the street and looking right back at him. He tried to smile. She smiled back and waved, then she jumped away from the window into her room and soon returned holding up a sheet of paper, on which she had written a single word in giant letters: _HI!_  
  
Hyde grinned, darted to his own desk and hurriedly scribbled his reply on the largest piece of paper he could find, holding it up against the window. _HI!!_  
  
She beamed, ran off to get more paper and taped three sheets against the window next to her, each of them holding a word: _OPEN YOUR WINDOW!_  
  
Hyde had never opened a window so quickly in his life.  
  
The girl smiled at him, waved again and shouted something Hyde didn't understand. "What?" he shouted back at the top of his lungs. "I can't hear you!"  
  
She looked dejected for a moment, then a flash of inspiration crossed her face and she took one of her message papers, rolling it up and holding it in front of her mouth like a megaphone. "Can you hear me now?"  
  
Hyde nodded.  
  
"Cool!" she shouted through the makeshift megaphone. "Are you new here? What's your name?"  
  
"Hyde! What's yours?"  
  
"I'm Ophelia!"  
  
Ophelia. Hyde didn't know why, but for some reason that word bore the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard. "That's a pretty name!" he blurted out before he knew what he was saying.  
  
"Thanks!" Ophelia shouted back, laughing. Hyde blushed. Her laugh was really pretty... as was her smile... and her voice.  
  
There was a moment's silence.  
  
Finally Ophelia held up her paper megaphone once again. "Wanna meet up? Let's talk at my garden gate! See you 'round!"  
  
Hyde nodded, leaped away from the window, nearly tripped over his feet, and raced downstairs to meet her across the street.  
  
They played together all day. Ophelia showed Hyde around the town, telling him stories and showing him hidden spots and teaching him how to climb a tree and constantly talking about whatever came to her mind, bright and playful yet stubborn, and when they parted, they promised to meet again the next day. A day turned into a week, a week turned into a month. They did everything together, they were in the same school and in the same class, and not a day passed without one of them crossing the street to see the other, to play or talk or go somewhere together. Ophelia was Hyde's best friend, and Hyde was Ophelia's. They were inseparable.  
  
The years went by. Elementary school ended and middle school began, and still they were as close as ever. But something had changed. Hyde wasn't sure when exactly, let alone how or why, but his feelings for his best friend were different now. He no longer saw her as just a friend. He loved her, loved the way she moved, the way she smiled at him, the way she laughed and spoke and helped everyone who needed her help, the way she could win people's hearts without trying at all. Ophelia was wonderful in every single way, and Hyde had fallen for her, hard.  
  
Not that he'd ever tell her. Ophelia was way out of his league. He was lucky enough to be friends with her, there was no way he'd go and ruin their friendship by confessing his true feelings. Simply being by her side was fine.  
  
He thought those days would last forever. Just the two of them, enjoying every day as it came, laughing and crying together. He thought watching out for Ophelia whenever she got into trouble trying to help someone or make them happy would always be his biggest worry.  
  
He was wrong.  
  
Hyde still remembered the day the quiet boy from their class asked to talk to Ophelia alone after school, and she went with him. When she came back she was strangely quiet, as if lost in thought, barely replying to everything Hyde said.  
  
Finally Hyde lost his patience. "You're not yourself today!" he burst out. "What's wrong, is it something he told you? What did he say, geez?"  
  
Ophelia sighed. "...He asked me out."  
  
Hyde gaped at her as the message sank in.  
  
Four words. Four simple words. That was all it took to send all his hopes and dreams, all his fondest wishes crumbling to the ground.  
  
"What did you..." Hyde's voice came out in a rasp. "What did you say?"  
  
"I told him I'm not sure." Ophelia sighed. "I said I still need time to think, I'll tell him my answer tomorrow." She let her eyes wander over the street before finally letting them rest on Hyde. "I mean, he's a very nice guy, in spite of everything people say about him. I know they say he used to be violent and involved with some dangerous troublemakers, but that's all in the past, and now he's just lonely... I'd feel pretty bad if I rejected him." The corners of her mouth curved up ever so slightly. "But I'm not sure if he really loves me. Should I date a guy who might not love me?"  
  
"Reject him!"  
  
Ophelia's eyes widened as she looked at him in surprise. Hyde swallowed. His outburst had been a little too loud, a little too panicked, a little too revealing of his true feelings.  
  
But he didn't care. "Reject him, Ophelia," he pleaded again. "Don't go out with someone you have no feelings for out of pity! He can find some other girl who likes him! And... what if he's still dangerous? You'd get into trouble too!"  
  
"Don't worry." Ophelia laughed. "He's not a bad guy, I promise you. He's just lonely now."  
  
"But... but..." Hyde could feel his courage dwindling by the second. "Don't just think of other people! Think of yourself too, geez! Do you love him? You shouldn't date him if you don't–"  
  
She only smiled, and Hyde knew his words hadn't reached her. "Hyde, I love _people._ I love happiness. I love making people happy. So in a way, I guess you could say that I do love him. And I could fall in love with him if we dated, right?"  
  
 _No. No. Please don't._ Every part of Hyde wanted to cover his ears and scream, wanted to run away from these words that stabbed through his heart with an icy blade and left it on the ground to bleed. But he couldn't. He had to stay here and listen to Ophelia and be a good friend. He had to pretend her words didn't affect him.  
  
He may be an actor, but this role was too big for him.  
  
One more try. One more desperate try, and if she still didn't listen, he would give up.  
  
"Ophelia," he said, clenching his fists, desperately trying to keep his voice from trembling. "Don't... don't _you_ have anyone you like?"  
  
She smiled at him, green eyes gazing right into the depths of his soul, thoughtful and amused and somehow sad. "I do."  
  
Hyde didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think or feel. So Ophelia liked someone... then it was hopeless. No matter if she accepted their classmate's confession or not, she was lost. Her heart wasn't his. He could stop deluding himself.  
  
Ophelia stepped closer to him and looked at him from below, an almost playful smile on her face. "There is someone I like," she explained. "Who knows... maybe if he asked me out I'd reject today's confession. I mean, it's only a dream but..."  
  
Hyde nodded silently, feeling completely hollow. This was it. Ophelia was in love with someone he couldn't hold a candle to, and tomorrow she would start dating a former troublemaker out of pity. And all Hyde could do was stay by her side as her best friend, happy yet lonely, the eternal number two to the girl who would always be the number one in his life.  
  
When they said goodbye, he went straight to his room, locked himself inside and cried.  
  
Of course the guy Ophelia liked didn't confess to her in time. Of course she accepted their classmate's confession. And it hurt, seeing her holding someone else's hand. It hurt to see her in someone else's arms, going on dates with someone else, smiling and laughing with someone else, kissing someone else, being happy with someone else. Every time he saw them together he felt like he was losing her all over again, and every time she mentioned her boyfriend's name he could feel his heart breaking a little more.  
  
But it was okay, somehow. Ophelia was happy. She had started going out with someone out of pity and the desire to make people stop fearing him, and she and all their classmates genuinely liked him now. She had accepted him to make him happy, and by doing that she had become happy herself. And even if she had a boyfriend now, she still wasn't neglecting Hyde in any way. They still hung out together and walked to and from school together and ate lunch together and laughed together and ran across the street to visit each other all the time. It was almost like nothing had changed, and it was almost fine. Almost.  
  
Until the peace started to crumble.  
  
At first there were only rumors. Whispered fragments of stories that made little sense, half-truths exchanged behind hiding hands. People would say that Ophelia's boyfriend wasn't quite as harmless as he seemed, that he was still involved with gangs and violent criminals. They would suspect him and shun him, him and Ophelia both. She didn't care. She remained loyal to him, brushing all the rumors aside, and it only fueled people's suspicions all the more.  
  
Hyde heard the stories everywhere. They would say she was involved, that she was also a criminal, that she was the one who had dragged him back into that shady business. He heard them and couldn't do anything. Nobody believed him when he tried to tell them she was innocent. Her loyalty was too suspicious in their eyes.  
  
Then, one by one, strange things started happening. Strange people appearing at the school gates and waiting for someone who didn't come, notes pasted on lockers only to be torn off the second they were discovered, things that were suddenly broken or demolished or missing from one day to the next. And as much as he tried to hide it, they all gathered around Ophelia's boyfriend.  
  
It was clear that he was involved in something. And it was clear that he was on the verge of pulling Ophelia into it.  
  
Hyde couldn't bear to watch this. He couldn't bear to do nothing and watch the girl he loved risk getting hurt.  
  
"Leave him," he demanded, desperately reaching for Ophelia's hand as they were walking home. "You're about to get into big trouble, you need to leave your boyfriend now! Please, Ophelia... it might be the only chance."  
  
She stopped in her tracks, green eyes widening in surprise. "What are you...?"  
  
"Leave him before he drags you into something you can't get out of!" Hyde burst out, clutching onto her slender hand as if it was a lifeline. "Or at least stay out of his business! You could get seriously hurt, don't you understand that at all?"  
  
"Don't worry." Ophelia smiled and raised her free hand to stroke Hyde's, gentle yet unwavering and sending warm chills down his spine. "I know what I'm getting into. Now that he's all alone, he needs me more than ever. You understand that, don't you?"  
  
Hyde bit his lip, unsure of what to say or think. "But..."  
  
"My goal is happiness, Hyde. I want to make people happy, that's what makes me happy. It makes my boyfriend happy that I'm still by his side even though he's in trouble, and I think it'll make him even happier if I help him solve the mess he's gotten into. Talk to people for him, maybe. Clear up the misunderstandings. Make peace between everyone, make sure everyone's happy. That's my goal."  
  
"And it makes your best friend unhappy to see you get into trouble like that!"  
  
Just for a split second a shadow crossed Ophelia's face. Her smile wavered, the light in her eyes flickered off for a moment, her fingers trembled ever so slightly as they continued stroking Hyde's hand.  
  
The illusion only lasted for a moment, and a heartbeat later she looked as if nothing had happened. "I'm sorry, Hyde," she said gently. "I know I'm acting selfish here, but please... bear with me? I promise I'll be careful. And if everything goes really wrong, you can always save me, right?" She smirked up at him. "You're not a legendary gang member for nothing."  
  
Hyde gritted his teeth, not feeling convinced at all. He knew Ophelia too well. She was always too careless, constantly pulling risky stunts, often putting her life on the line just to help people or do things for them, just to make them happy. If Hyde hadn't been by her side for all these years and watched over her she might not be alive anymore.  
  
"That's right," he said grimly. "I'm a legendary gang member. I could just beat up your boyfriend and all the other scary guys. I could just kill them all, you know? I've done stuff like that before."  
  
"But you wouldn't," Ophelia said softly. "Because you know it'd break my heart."  
  
Hyde wanted to say something, wanted to protest, but he couldn't. Everything he wanted to say in return caught in his throat like a lump. Lowering his gaze in defeat, he swallowed his tears and nodded.  
  
"You're right," he mumbled towards the ground. "I wouldn't."  
  
This was fine, he told himself. Ophelia would only try to talk to some people and in that charming way of hers, win them all over and restore the peace. It wasn't like she was going to fight or anything. It wasn't like she was going to get hurt or killed.  
  
So what was that uneasy feeling?  
  
Whatever it was, it had been right.  
  
Only a few days had passed since their conversation. Nothing had really happened, except that things had become awkward between them, somehow. There was so much hanging between them, unspoken, waiting to be said yet dreading to be brought up. They spoke less and avoided each other's eyes, both hoping the other would speak up, neither making the first move.  
  
Until the day that Ophelia's boyfriend was called out after school.  
  
Ophelia went with him. Hyde went with Ophelia. He had a bad feeling about this. The letter her boyfriend had received this time wasn't a simple invitation; it was an open threat. Hyde knew one when he saw one, and he understood why his classmate armed himself before heading to the meeting point.  
  
He knew how things worked in the underworld of the city. But Ophelia didn't. She was unarmed, unprotected, still hoping that she could solve this entire situation with words and a smile.  
  
When they arrived at the meeting point they weren't alone. Even though this place was supposed to be an abandoned warehouse it was crowded with people. About half a dozen teens and young adults, armed with bats and knives and wearing gang signs, were already waiting for them, even the youngest at least two years older than the three of them.  
  
They weren't the only ones though. Standing on the sidelines was a crowd of people, curious fools who had heard of the threat and made their way to the location in hopes of seeing something interesting. Hyde gave them all a glare. _Get out of here,_ he tried to tell them with his eyes. _This is none of your business, and it's dangerous. Just leave and don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong._  
  
Of course they couldn't hear him, and they didn't care about his gaze. They just kept standing there like a bunch of sheep, whispering to each other and pointing to Ophelia and her boyfriend.  
  
They suspected her more than ever now, he realized. The simple fact that she was here was proof enough for all their rumors and theories.  
  
Hyde gritted his teeth. They had no right to talk about her like that. They had no right to even think such thoughts. These people had no idea what Ophelia wanted, how much she had to endure for her loyalty, how much she was willing to sacrifice for peace and the greater good. They knew nothing. _Nothing!_  
  
He wanted to yell at them, but he knew no one would believe him. He wanted to beat them all up, but he knew it would hurt Ophelia the most. All he could do was stand by her side and glare at them.  
  
Ophelia's boyfriend and the older boys exchanged hostile glances, both sides daring the other to make the first move, say the first word, throw the first punch. Then finally one of them spoke up.  
  
Hyde didn't remember what exactly they had said. He didn't even remember what it was they spoke about. All he remembered was that in spite of Ophelia's efforts the argument escalated, a punch flew, and all too quickly a fight broke out.  
  
Weapons were drawn. Metal screeched against metal. The first drops of blood dripped on the ground.  
  
Ophelia stood on the sidelines, pale but determined, clenching her fists so hard the knuckles were white. She was one step away from jumping into the fight to break them all apart.  
  
Hyde reached for her wrist. "Hey," he pleaded once more, "don't do anything stupid, okay?"  
  
"Don't worry." She turned around and gave him a shaky smile, but the determination in her eyes didn't waver. "I'm not part of this fight... they wouldn't hurt me."  
  
"Do you think they care about this? Look at them!"  
  
"Please, Hyde!"  
  
The look in her eyes turned wild, desperate, an expression Hyde had never seen before. Staggering back, he let go of her hand and swallowed.  
  
"Let me do this," she added, her expression softening. "I promise I'll be fine. But I have to end this fight before someone gets seriously hurt, okay? I... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself otherwise."  
  
"Ophelia..."  
  
"Please..." She leaned closer, resting her forehead against Hyde's, green eyes meeting his red ones, glimmering with emotion. "Let me be myself."  
  
Hyde swallowed hard, closed his eyes and let go of her hand.  
  
She gave him a smile, soft and warm and full of gratitude, then she turned around and jumped into the fight. "Stop it! Cut it out, stop this!"  
  
They didn't listen. Another punch flew and hit her.  
  
Ophelia gasped and stumbled to the side, pressing a hand to her ribcage where the punch had hit her. Hyde held his breath, ready to jump in and save her. She saw the look on his face and smiled, motioning for him to stay back, standing up straight, trying to show her side didn't hurt anymore. Hyde knew it was an act. She wasn't fine, but there was nothing he could do.  
  
Her boyfriend clenched his fists, eyes glowing with rage. "You," he hissed, marching up to Ophelia's attacker, gripping his knife. "Leave my girlfriend out of this. She has nothing to do with it!"  
  
The thug only smirked, reached for his baseball bat lying on the floor and swung. He missed. Ophelia's boyfriend dodged the attack, knocked the bat out of his enemy's hands, and raised his knife for the final blow.  
  
Just as he stabbed forward, a small figure jumped in between them.  
  
Time came to a halt. The world stopped turning. The scene played in front of Hyde's eyes in slow motion.  
  
Ophelia staggered back, clenching her teeth in pain as the knife stabbed through her chest and a small pool of blood started trickling from the wound, growing larger and larger and soaking her dress. Her boyfriend stared at her in horror, stared at his hand, unable to comprehend what he had done, what _she_ had done. Her attacker and his companions stopped fighting, shock and fear written all over their faces.  
  
Hyde darted forward and caught her in his arms. "Ophelia!"  
  
She didn't look at him. Her eyes were fixed on some point in the distance, tears of pain gathering in her lashes, but she was smiling. Actually, genuinely smiling.  
  
"Ophelia, look at me," Hyde shouted, grabbing her shoulders. "Look at me! You'll be fine, right? It's not that bad, we'll just call an ambulance and–"  
  
She lifted a hand and placed it against his lips, silencing him.  
  
Her eyes strayed over to the gang standing around her. "Listen," she said, struggling to speak clearly, panting for breath as she spoke. "I... can't be saved anymore, but... you can all... still do something for me. Will you... promise me not to fight anymore?" She coughed violently, a few drops of blood falling from her mouth. "Will... you end this war? Will you promise me... I'll be the last person to die in your fights?"  
  
"Don't say that!" Hyde burst out, tears shooting up in his eyes. "You're not gonna die here! Somebody call an ambulance! Somebody... please!"  
  
None of the onlookers made an attempt to do anything.  
  
"Somebody!" he screamed again, panicked and desperate. "Anybody! Help her, please!"  
  
"It's okay, Hyde."  
  
Hyde looked down to find Ophelia smiling up at him, tears blurring his vision. "I... have no regrets. I did what I had to do... I saved someone's life. I'm sorry it had to end that way, but... it's for the greater good." She turned to face her boyfriend and the gang leader. "So... will you promise me not to fight? Will you... make peace?"  
  
They looked at her, then at each other, grief and horror and regret so clear in their faces, and nodded. Blinking back tears, they reached out and shook hands.  
  
Ophelia smiled. "Thank you."  
  
 _No._  
  
"Ophelia, no!" Hyde begged her again, desperately holding onto her as if she was the only thing to keep him from drowning. "Please... don't give up just yet! Don't..." The tears in his eyes started to fall, streaming down his face and falling on her blood-stained dress. "Don't leave me here alone!"  
  
Her expression wavered. "I'm sorry. I... don't want to leave you either... but I know when it's over." She smiled, wiping the tears from his face. "Hey... don't cry, okay? You're a gang member... gang members don't cry."  
  
Hyde just sniffled and leaned into her touch for what might be the last time.  
  
"Don't be... too sad." She coughed up blood again. "I'll be watching over you. Be happy... okay, Hyde? Be happy... for both of us."  
  
"No..."  
  
One last smile before her eyes closed. "See you."  
  
" _No!_ "  
  
Hyde grabbed her shoulders and shook her, calling her name over and over again, but to no avail. She wouldn't answer. She didn't even stir.  
  
Ophelia was gone.  
  
Letting out a desperate sob, he pulled her up in his arms, clutching her, holding her, letting the tears stream down his face until there were none left in his eyes and Ophelia's body was cold in his hands. People left one by one. He didn't care. He didn't even notice. All he saw was the girl in his arms, the girl he had loved with all his heart, more than anything, more than life itself. The girl he had lost twice.  
  
Hyde didn't know how long he spent sitting there, but it had to be hours. The sun was beginning to set, and dusk was beginning to creep into the building, throwing its long shadows on the scene of the crime as if it was trying to hide what had happened.  
  
When he finally raised his head, he found that he was alone, alone except for Ophelia's boyfriend who was looking at him with a tear-stained face.  
  
"This is my fault... I'm so sorry." He buried his face in his hands. "This is all my fault."  
  
In spite of everything that had happened, Hyde couldn't help feeling a little bad for him. He hadn't wanted to get Ophelia killed. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. He had loved her too, and now she had died at his hands, even though he had tried to protect her.  
  
"It was her decision," he said numbly, repeating what Ophelia had told him so many times. "She wanted to save that life."  
  
"She didn't save anyone."  
  
Hyde's head jerked up. "What...?"  
  
"I didn't have the heart to tell her, but..." Ophelia's boyfriend swallowed, a pained look on his face. "That stab wouldn't have been lethal to the guy who hit her. It would've deflected on his ribs... but she jumped in and she was shorter and so..." A tear fell from his eye, rolling down his cheek. "Nobody would've died if she hadn't jumped in. She sacrificed her life for nothing."  
  
Hyde stared right through him, unable to comprehend his words, refusing to acknowledge them. Every part of him wanted to scream that this wasn't true, that Ophelia had still done something, but no words would come out. What he had just heard rang too true.  
  
In the end, it hadn't been a heroic deed. It had all been bad luck.  
  
Ophelia had jumped in to save a guy because she didn't know he wouldn't have needed saving. She had died because she had been the wrong height and her boyfriend had hit a lethal spot instead of the non-lethal one he had aimed for on his opponent. In the end, she had only died because she hadn't known better, because she'd been naïve and inexperienced. She had gone out with a former gang member believing he was out of trouble, she had stuck to him when it became clear that he wasn't, and that was how she'd been caught up in this.  
  
If the guy in question hadn't been the first person to ask her out, if someone else had been faster, she might still be alive.  
  
If her boyfriend hadn't happened to get caught up with his old gang again while they were dating, she might still be alive.  
  
If she had been taller or her boyfriend's opponent had been shorter, she might still be alive.  
  
In the end, it had been a series of coincidences that killed her.  
  
And she had died for nothing. She hadn't saved a life, and even if she had ended the conflict between her boyfriend and the gang, the peace didn't last long. Soon after her death they were all overrun by a larger, stronger group and hospitalized or killed.  
  
It had all been so pointless. Ophelia had given her life away for nothing. The world had played with its game using her and everyone around her as its toys, and it was still doing the same thing, no matter how much humans struggled or spouted big words about shaping their own destiny. In the end it was all up to luck. The decision of one person could take a life or save it. He'd seen it happen, he'd seen his big brother do it. One single person, one single thoughtless choice. And no one could bring that life back afterwards. It was gone, lost forever, just because one person had taken the wrong path. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time could be all it took.  
  
It shouldn't be like this. But it was like this, and Hyde had to acknowledge it, even if he hated it. Nobody mattered in this world. Nothing mattered. That was a lesson he had learned the hard way.  
  
\---  
  
Licht listened to the story in silence, blue eyes betraying no emotion as they rested on Hyde, watching and waiting until he was done with the story.  
  
Then his classmate finally fell silent, and Licht opened his mouth to utter four simple words that cut through him with cold, deadly precision.  
  
"Your own damn fault."


	17. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why, Lichtan, are you worried about me?"

"Shirota! Did you get the location of the meeting?"  
  
Mahiru nodded, leaning against the doorframe in exhaustion. "I got it," he panted. "It's not far, we can walk there and look for clues and stuff... did Hugh find anything out?"  
  
"Indeed!" came a voice from a laptop, moments before Hugh's head popped up behind it in what he probably believed to be a dramatic move. "Behold my vast network of underlings–"  
  
"We only have hints," Misono interrupted him, ignoring the protests that immediately followed. "But if we have the way Hyde took– or was supposed to take– yesterday and the hints from Hugh's underlings, we can already paint a sufficiently clear picture of where he might be." He gestured to a map spread out in front of him, points marked down all over it in different colors. "These are all the spots where suspicious activity was reported," he explained as Mahiru walked closer. "If we know the area where Hyde was when he was kidnapped, we can rule out some of them and investigate the rest. If there are traces along the road too, that's all the better."  
  
"Then we should go there and–"  
  
"No need." Misono smirked. "I'm sending out a few trusted people to investigate the road. Look for traces, search for possible hiding spots a kidnapper could have used. They'll report everything to me when they're done. It's faster."  
  
"...Okay," Mahiru replied. It was all he could think of; while he hated the idea of having others do the work and not being able to do anything but wait for the news to come in, Misono had provided for everything so thoroughly that he was left with no choice.  
  
Tetsu stared at the map in awe, then at Misono. "This is like a detective story."  
  
"Are you not taking this seriously, Sendaga–"  
  
"No... I mean you're like a pro. A pro detective."  
  
"Don't be stupid! Anyone could do this." Misono cleared his throat, avoiding Tetsu's eyes and blushing ever so slightly. "There's just one thing I'd really like to know," he said, more to himself than to anyone in the room. "I feel like this is an important puzzle piece that we're missing... Who knew that Hyde was still out this late?"  
  
"Just–" _Just Licht, Crantz and me,_ Mahiru tried to say when he stopped in his tracks. Wait a second... there was one more person who had known that Licht was sick.  
  
No... that person had nothing to do with it. Even if he'd known Licht was sick, there was no way he could have found out Hyde was going out and where he was going based on that alone... right?  
  
"Just?" Misono asked, his stare intensifying. "Who knew, Shirota?"  
  
"Just... just Licht, Crantz and me. As far as I know, anyway."  
  
Misono stepped closer, purple eyes staring right through Mahiru. "Who are you trying to protect?"  
  
"Wha–?!"  
  
"What are you not telling us, Shirota? Don't think I won't notice that you're hiding something, bastard! You've always been a bad liar."  
  
There was a giggle from Lily's side of the room. "Is that the pot calling the kettle black?"  
  
"Shut up, Lily!"  
  
Mahiru sighed. "Just the three of us knew he went out," he explained, "but I also told Sakuya that Licht was sick. He didn't know the rest though, I'm sure he has nothing to do with it."  
  
Misono didn't look convinced. "You told Watanuki about Todoroki catching a cold?"  
  
"What? He's my best friend and I bumped into him on my way to the nurse's office! What else should I have said when he asked why the hell I was out this late?"  
  
"More importantly, why was _he_ out this late?"  
  
"He told me he'd been studying with some upperclassmen and was walking back, okay?" Mahiru snapped, feeling his irritation grow with every heartbeat. "He lost track of time, that's the kind of guy he is! Misono, I know you don't like him but stop suspecting him, okay? I just told him Licht was sick, he had no idea Hyde went out or where he went." He stared straight into Misono's eyes. "Misono, he's my friend and I trust him with my life. I swear he has nothing to do with this."  
  
Misono hesitated for a moment, then nodded and sighed. "If you say so, Shirota."  
  
He still didn't look convinced.  
  
Mahiru wasn't too happy about the look on his face, but before he could say anything else Hugh spoke up. "May I call for your attention, gentlemen! My underlings have gathered enough hints to–"  
  
Before he could finish, Misono hurried over to his side, peeking over his shoulder to look at the laptop in front of him. "Show me."  
  
\---  
  
"My... fault...?"  
  
Hyde stared at Licht in horror, stared at the blank, unfeeling expression on his face, the unsympathetic cold in his icy blue eyes. _His_ fault? How could he say that after everything he'd told him? It had to be a joke, there could be no other explanation. He couldn't be serious... could he?  
  
"Lichtan, are you messing with me?" He tried to laugh, but his smile was only a joyless grimace. "You're joking, right? After everything I just told you..."  
  
"That's exactly why!" Licht snapped, eyes lighting up in cold fury. "You brought all of this on yourself, just quit your whining and face it!"  
  
That wasn't true. It wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault.  
  
"I..." The words got stuck in his throat. _I couldn't do anything,_ was what he wanted to say. _I was powerless._ That was what he'd always thought, how he still felt. But...  
  
But what if Licht was right?  
  
What if there _was_ something he could have done? What if there had been a way to save Ophelia, and he just couldn't see it?  
  
Impossible. He had tried everything. Nothing had worked. It hadn't been his fault.  
  
Licht was wrong.  
  
"What could I have done?" he burst out, anger welling up within him. What was Licht thinking, telling him off like that? Did he think he knew everything better? "If you're so smart why don't you tell me, Angel-chan!"  
  
That was all the encouragement Licht needed. His eyes flashed, his hands grabbed Hyde's collar, and he pulled him upright as he burst out, "You should've just confessed to her!"  
  
"Guess what? I couldn't!" Hyde shot back, gripping Licht's collar in return, struggling to break free from his hands. "She was way out of my league!"  
  
"That's up to her to decide, moron! How could you know she thought the same if you never grew a pair and _asked?_ "  
  
"It's obvious you've never been in love, Angel-chan," Hyde said bitterly. "I didn't want to lose her! I didn't want to ruin our friendship and make things awkward between us! She didn't like me back–"  
  
"Are you blind or what? _She did!_ "  
  
Hyde's eyes widened. His hands loosened his grip on Licht's collar, falling limply to the side. Licht's words echoed in his mind, over and over again.  
  
Ophelia... might have liked him?  
  
That couldn't be. That was impossible, Licht had to be mistaken. He had misunderstood everything. _You're wrong,_ he tried to say, but no sound came out. All he could do was silently shake his head.  
  
Licht stared at him in exasperation. "Just how dense are you?" he snapped. "She even gave you a hint! Why do you think she didn't tell you who she liked? Why do you think she dropped that hint of not going out with the other dude if her crush confessed to her? She was asking _you_ to ask her out!"  
  
 _No._  
  
"You could've saved her if you hadn't been such a dense moron!"  
  
 _Shut up._  
  
"She'd still be alive and happy if you hadn't _chickened out like a little bitch!_ "  
  
 _You're wrong!_  
  
But deep down, Hyde knew he wasn't.  
  
Maybe he wished Licht was right. Maybe he wished that he really could have done something, that Ophelia had loved him too and would have gone out with him if he'd asked and might still be alive and happy by his side. Maybe part of him had always secretly hoped for it.  
  
But... that hope scared him. Because it was too late, it was useless, all it would bring him now was regret. He had already missed his chance, and he was only finding out now.  
  
It wasn't fair! Why hadn't he had Licht around to tell him back then? Why only find out now? What was the point of finding out now? He didn't want to know that he could still have saved the girl he loved. He'd rather keep on thinking it hadn't been his fault. He'd rather keep on thinking it had been fate, or misfortune, or however one wanted to call the inexplicable ways of the world.  
  
He... didn't want to feel this. Remorse. Regret. Frustration.  
  
 _I don't want this. Take it away!_  
  
Licht's eyes still rested on him, their expression softening ever so slightly. "So you get it now," he said calmly. "It wasn't bad luck or the ways of the world. It was all just because your willpower was weak."  
  
Sitting down in front of Hyde, he looked straight into his eyes, gazing into his soul as he continued. "You could've wished back then. If you'd wished for it, you could've done it. You can do anything if you can imagine it... if you want it."  
  
He stood up, pulling Hyde upright with him, holding him up by the collar. "You are a little boy. You are an old lady. You are a hedgehog. You are a dragon. You are a bonfire. You are the stars. You are the knight in shining armor who rescues the girl he loves. You are an action hero who escapes from this jail. You are whatever you want to be. Whatever you picture. Picture it, and it can be reality. So..." He yanked him closer, hitting their foreheads together. "Wish, Hyde! What do you wanna do? Who do you wanna be? Picture it and wish!"  
  
 _What do I want to do?_  
  
He wanted to have no more regrets. He wanted to stop running away from himself. He wanted to protect the people he cared about, the people who were important to him. He wanted to understand Kuro's decision, why he had done the things he'd done. He wanted to know if he regretted it.  
  
And he wanted to get this crazy, reckless, completely ridiculous, incredible human being out of here safely.  
  
A smirk crossed his face, a genuine, excited, determined grin, not the smiling mask of confidence he'd put on so many times. His eyes flashed and lit up with a glowing red fire. "Let's go, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht grinned back at him. "You don't have to tell me, Hyde!"  
  
He took a few steps back, darted forward and kicked the door.  
  
\---  
  
"Tsubakyun, this is baaaaad!"  
  
Tsubaki looked up from his food to find Berukia standing at the window, worriedly pointing at something that was going on down in the street. "What's wrong, Beru?"  
  
"There's looooots of weird people outsiiiide!" Berukia turned around, frantically waving his hands in the air in a series of grand gestures. "If they come here, we're gonna be found ouuuuuut!"  
  
"People?" Tsubaki put down his chopsticks and got up to stand next to his best friend, glancing down into the street and trying to see past Berukia's wildly gesturing hands. Berukia was right; the street really was filled with people, people walking around and searching every spot, people sitting in cars and talking on their cell phones, people half-hidden behind trees. None of them made any attempt to avoid looking suspicious. These folks wanted to be noticed. They meant business... or trouble.  
  
Most likely trouble.  
  
Tsubaki let out a short laugh. "What's with all those identical black suits, are they yakuza? Ahh... boring."  
  
"Tsubakyun, what do you think they're doing heeeeere?"  
  
"What?" Tsubaki stared at his friend in surprise. "They're here to take the prisoners back, of course."  
  
"Eh... _eeeeeeeeeeeh?_  That's baaaaaad! That's really bad! What do we do, Tsubakyun?"  
  
"Yeah, you better have a plan," Sakuya remarked from the back of the room. "I don't really feel like getting arrested for kidnapping, Tsubaki-san."  
  
"Uh..." Tsubaki wasn't sure if he should laugh at this or not.  
  
"Of course he's got a plan," Otogiri said, not even looking up from her book as she spoke. "Right, Tsubaki-san?"  
  
...Was she doing this on purpose?  
  
"Tsubakyun! What's the plan?"  
  
"Tell us the plan, young master! What shall we do now?"  
  
Tsubaki was starting to break in a cold sweat. "Well, um... uh... you see..."  
  
Sakuya gave him a look that encompassed the exasperation of many, many years, along with disbelief, annoyance and tired acceptance. "You don't have a plan?"  
  
"Of course I do!" Tsubaki faked a laugh. "I just momentarily forgot it! I do have a plan. We all... get out of here. With the prisoners. I know a secret escape, that's why I chose this building..."  
  
"So you don't have a plan," Sakuya interrupted him.  
  
"Sakuya, were you even listening?" Tsubaki pouted at his friend. "I can show you the secret way out! I just wasn't expecting them to get here this fast... Higan-sensei, can you take care of the prisoners on your own?"  
  
Higan nodded and smirked. "Leave it to this old man. You youngsters go ahead, the three of us will follow."  
  
"See?" Tsubaki said, throwing a pointed look at Sakuya, who rolled his eyes in response. "I'll lead the rest of us outside. It's only a matter of time until these people get in, and we can't have them seeing any of our faces." His eyes darkened. "I wouldn't mind getting arrested, but only when I'm done with Sensei's mission."  
  
There was a loud boom against the prisoners' door.  
  
Higan rolled up his sleeves and lit a cigarette. "Looks like someone woke up and wants to get out... This old man had better check if the kids are alright."  
  
\---  
  
Licht sat down on the ground, muttering a curse and rubbing his ankle.  
  
"Stupid door," he grumbled, glaring up at it in increasing annoyance. "Why won't it open? It seems to think it's tougher than you, shit rat!"  
  
Hyde gave him a confused look. "Uh... Lichtan, was that an insult or a compliment?"  
  
"Doesn't matter!" Licht jumped to his feet, ready for another attempt. "What matters is that we get this arrogant prick of a door down!"  
  
"Angel-chan, wait."  
  
Licht blinked in surprise as Hyde yanked him back by the hood of his sweater. "This is the seventh time and the door hasn't even budged, to you really think you can open it like this?" Licht opened his mouth to protest, but Hyde silenced him with a look. "What I mean is, we should try to kick it open together! With a coordinated attack... or something."  
  
Licht stared at him intensely, pondering the thought for a long, long moment. "Not a bad idea," he finally said. "Coming from you, shit rat."  
  
"Geez! That addition was unnecessary!"  
  
Licht ignored him. "On three," he said instead, getting in position. "One, two–"  
  
"Wait! I'm not ready yet–"  
  
"Three! Let's go, Hyde!"  
  
"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! I told you, Angel-chan, I–" Hyde never got any further in his protests, because the very next moment he found himself grabbed and flung against the door, crashing into it at full speed and sinking down to the ground.  
  
"Hmm." Licht gazed at him with a thoughtful expression. "It's not working."  
  
"Of course it's not!" Hyde yelled, gesturing angrily. "That's not what I meant by a coordinated attack! Angel-chan, are you messing with me? Geez, it's almost like you want me to break even more bones!"  
  
Licht's expression hardened, but he flinched, a hint of guilt crossing his face. Grumbling something about old habits, he stomped over to Hyde, holding a hand out to him. "Get up."  
  
Knowing this was the closest thing to an apology he would ever get from Licht, Hyde grinned, took Licht's hand and scrambled back to his feet. They remained hand in hand for a moment, Licht tightening his grip ever so slightly before finally letting go, leaving the impression of his surprisingly warm hand behind.  
  
"Okay," Hyde said emphatically, shaking off the strangely warm feeling in his stomach. "Coordinated attack, take two! Ready, Angel-chan?"  
  
Licht gave him an odd look, frowning as he let his gaze roam all over him, resting on his injuries.  
  
"...Angel-chan?"  
  
"Did you..." Licht averted his eyes and shook his head. "Never mind."  
  
"Did I what, Angel-chan?"  
  
"Did you... break a lot of bones?"  
  
Hyde gaped at him. Had Licht really just asked him about his injuries? Licht wasn't worried about him, was he? But to think that he was expressing it so openly... no, it had to be something else. Knowing Licht, he was probably about to follow it up with something along the lines of, "Be ready to break even more!"  
  
Still blinking at Licht in confusion, Hyde opted for the truth. "I think I broke a lot," he admitted. "It kind of hurts... but it's fine, I've had worse! Former gang member, remember?" He grinned. "Why, Lichtan, are you worried about me?"  
  
Licht stayed silent, his expression unreadable.  
  
So he really was worried. And probably still a bit guilty about shoving Hyde into the door. For some reason that felt better than it should. Hyde wasn't sure why, but the fact that Licht showed genuine concern about his well-being made him feel all warm inside.  
  
He didn't know why, but that feeling seemed remotely familiar. He couldn't remember ever feeling it before, but it wasn't strange to him at all. Had he ever felt something like this before?  
  
It must have been back when...  
  
He shut that train of thought out before it ever left the station. There was no point in making comparisons. Back then was back then, and now was now. There were more urgent matters to think about.  
  
Licht coughed quietly, and a pang of worry shot through Hyde's chest. That was right, he wasn't the only one who was weakened. Licht wasn't doing so well either. Should he really be putting this much strain on his body?  
  
"Licht," he asked quietly, "how's your cold?"  
  
"I'm fine." Licht gave him a pointed look. "Why? Because I'm an angel."  
  
As if on cue, he was shaken by a violent coughing fit.  
  
"You're totally fine," Hyde remarked with a lopsided grin that lay somewhere between amusement and worry. "I can see that, Angel-chan."  
  
This was bad.  
  
Licht had probably already put too much of a burden on his weakened body. And Hyde could barely stand; every broken bone still hurt like crazy, even if he was already feeling better, even if he could move now thanks to the strength Licht had given him. Were they really strong enough to break down this door, even together? What if they couldn't? Nobody would ever find them here. They didn't even have a way to contact anyone and tell them their location, not that they knew where they were in the first place. Their only hope could be to overpower the person who'd eventually get in here to bring them food... wait, they would be given food, right? What if they had just been left in here to starve?  
  
"Hey, shit rat, are you listening?"  
  
Hyde snapped out of his sinister thoughts to find Licht glaring at him in annoyance. "Huh?"  
  
"I said, let's both try to knock that door down on three. Ready, Hyde?"  
  
He looked into Licht's eyes and found none of his fear, none of his doubts. The only thing he found was iron determination.  
  
"Okay!" he said, trying to absorb as much of that confidence and hope and determination as possible. He was with Licht. Licht, who had talked him out of his cynicism and bitterness and self-pity that he'd harbored for years. Licht, who had taught him to take matters into his own hands. Licht, who had given him hope long after he had abandoned it for good. He'd be fine. They would both be fine.  
  
"Lead the way, Angel-chan!"  
  
They both put some distance between themselves and the door, shifting into an attacking stance. Licht took a look at Hyde, as if to check if he really was ready, before starting to count. "One... two..."  
  
Hyde didn't even need to hear Licht finish. He just knew when to start. His body moved on instinct, reacting to the tiniest cue from Licht as they both crashed against the door in perfect sync.  
  
And Hyde didn't even have to wait for the feeling of the metal giving way beneath his arms and legs, didn't even have to listen for the crash or look for the door slamming to the ground to know they had made it.  
  
They had escaped. They were free at last.  
  
A huge grin spread itself all across his face. "We did it," he cheered. "We did it, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht turned to him with a smug, confident smirk. "See?"  
  
"Congratulations, youngsters."  
  
They both spun around to find Higan standing on the other side of the room, slowly applauding as he started walking towards them. "This old man is amazed at your stunt, but this is where your journey ends."  
  
Hyde stared at him with incomprehension. Higan? What was their art teacher doing here? What was he talking about? "This is where your journey ends"... he didn't think they had run away to skip school, didn't he?  
  
He turned towards Licht, looking for some sort of explanation, and froze.  
  
Licht's posture and demeanor had changed completely. His entire body was tense, like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey, ready to react to any sudden movement from Higan's side. His eyes had frozen over, glowing with a cold hatred as he glared at the art teacher, silently watching his every move. His fists were clenched so tightly his knuckles were white, his teeth gritted into a grimace of silent rage.  
  
Hyde didn't know why, but Licht was _furious_.  
  
"L-Lichtan?" he ventured quietly, but his classmate didn't react. "Angel-chan, what's going on?"  
  
Higan stopped walking for a moment, letting his gaze inspect both of them. "You can still kick down doors in this state?" he asked, the look on his face innocence itself, but Hyde wasn't fooled. "Kids these days really are something else. This old man already thought you were done for when you came here."  
  
The look on Licht's face changed from rage to fury. "You thought wrong," he growled, his hands and shoulders trembling with anger. "No mere human could ever beat an angel like me."  
  
 _Beat?_ Hyde frowned. What was he talking about? He couldn't possibly mean that–  
  
"Hyde."  
  
He spun to find Licht stepping closer to him, his eyes never leaving Higan, who had lit a cigarette and made no attempts to do anything suspicious. "Stay out of this guy's way. He's bad news."  
  
"Bad news?" The bad feeling in Hyde's gut slowly crept into every part of his body, sending a chill down his spine. "What do you–"  
  
"He caught me and brought me here. Watch out, that guy's fast." Licht thought for a moment, then he stepped in front of Hyde, as if to shield him from any attacks that might come his way. "Stay out of this, shit rat. I'll do the fighting, you can barely stand."  
  
Hyde's eyes widened. Was Licht offering to protect him? The same boy who had always kicked him around the school was worried about him now, worried enough to defend him from someone he had suffered a loss to earlier, someone he couldn't possibly beat alone in his state. Not even Licht was that strong.  
  
"Angel-chan, I..."  
  
"I said I'll do the fighting. Shut up!"  
  
Licht was trying his best to look as strong as possible, but Hyde wasn't fooled. He could see how pale he was, whiter than a sheet, drops of sweat gathered on his forehead from the exercise. He could see how hard he was still breathing after kicking down the door. He could see the tremor in his hands and knees, the way Licht had widened his stance to steady himself.  
  
There was no way he would last.  
  
But before Hyde got the chance to say anything, Higan put his cigarette aside and pounced.  
  
Hyde's body moved on its own. Just as Higan was about to strike, he leaped forward, throwing himself at the art teacher, trying to knock him over. Higan gasped, caught off guard for the blink of an eye, and Hyde used that split second to land a punch in his face.  
  
Higan crashed to the ground, landing a few feet away from them. Hyde stood above him, still panting as the realization of what he had just done started kicking in, along with the pain in his arms and legs and every fractured and broken bone in his body. But he'd done it. He had managed to protect Licht, at least for the time being.  
  
He turned around to find Licht staring at him in surprise and amazement. "What just..." he said quietly, confusion evident in his voice. "Hyde...?"  
  
Higan scrambled to his feet, rubbing the black eye Hyde had given him. "Not a bad strategy," he remarked, smirking. "This old man is very impressed. But now let's go for round two."  
  
Hyde returned his smirk. "Good luck! Lichtan's enemy is my enemy too, you know?"  
  
There was a snort from Licht's direction. "Hey, don't get cocky."  
  
"Geez, I just saved you! At least thank me properly, will you?"  
  
"I'm not gonna thank you for acting stupid and trying to fight when you're hurt! I said let me handle it, I'll be fine–"  
  
"You couldn't even break down the door by yourself! This guy's defeated you before, right? And now you're even more weakened, you can't do this on your own!"  
  
"Don't underestimate an angel, shit rat! You're just a human, you have your limits!"  
  
"So do you! But we can be strong enough if we team up!"  
  
Licht opened his mouth, ready to reply something, when he saw the look in Hyde's eyes. Swallowing his comeback, he closed his mouth again, giving his classmate a doubtful look. "Team up, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, like just now! We knocked down the door together, we'll defeat this guy together. You don't have to do everything on your own, you know?"  
  
Licht paused for a moment, contemplating his words, letting his gaze stray over Hyde's injuries as if trying to determine if he was really strong enough to fight. Then a smirk crossed his face, and his eyes lit up with an icy blue fire. "Let's go then, Hyde! Let's give this old scumbag the asskicking he deserves."  
  
"Let's see if you can get past this old man."  
  
No sooner had Higan spoken his words than he made a dash forward, swinging at Licht. Hyde exchanged a glance with the pianist. The second before Higan was about to hit his target, Licht jumped aside and Hyde took his place, blocking the attack while Licht threw a kick at the teacher, sending him sprawling to the ground.  
  
Higan gasped and hissed in pain, gazing up at the two boys with amazement in his eyes. Licht and Hyde stared at each other, still trying to process what had happened, when Higan got up and attacked again.  
  
He was faster this time, moving like a lightning bolt, quicker than the eye could follow. Hyde swallowed the fear that crept up in his chest. _We've made him mad,_ he realized. _Now he's serious._  
  
He closed his eyes, channeling all his fighting instincts from days gone by. This guy wasn't the toughest opponent he'd ever faced. If he focused, he could beat him.  
  
 _Picture it, and it can be reality. Picture it and wish!_  
  
He wasn't sure if Licht was actually speaking to him or if he could just hear his voice in his head, but it was loud and clear, more vivid than anything else in this room, this house, this whole city. The message echoed through his head. And he listened to it. He pictured himself and Licht beating Higan. They could do it. They would make this picture a reality.  
  
Hyde opened his eyes again, and suddenly everything was in slow motion. He could see every detail, every tiny movement, feel every slight change in Higan's battle aura. He could read the teacher's moves like an open book. His body reacted without thinking, automatically blocking every attack, shielding Licht while his partner dealt out blows.  
  
Higan might not know it himself yet, but he was getting weaker. Licht's constant kicks were taking their toll on him, and his failed attacks were starting to wear him out, physically and mentally. His movements were getting careless, the holes in his defense larger. He couldn't dodge and block as quickly as before. Higan might not know it, but Hyde could sense it. This one wouldn't last much longer.  
  
 _Let's just hope he's the only one here._  
  
"Really an excellent strategy." Higan coughed, spitting out drops of blood that trickled into his mouth from his bruised upper lip. "But unfortunately, this is where things end for you. Melancholy can't let you two leave yet."  
  
Before they knew what was going on, he leaped and launched himself at Hyde.  
  
Hyde tried to block, but a shadow flashed into his vision, a lean frame leaping in front of him, shielding him from the attack. He could only watch as it took the hit with full force, hissing out in pain and staggering back to be caught in Hyde's arms.  
  
Higan didn't even give him a chance to help the boy in his arms. He just attacked again, avoiding Hyde's awkward one-handed block to land a blow to his face, sending them both stumbling back and crashing to the ground.  
  
Licht scrambled away from Hyde, glowering up at Higan, trembling with rage. "Son of a bitch," he growled, tensing up to attack, ignoring the blood dripping from a fresh injury on his forehead. "You're not fighting fair!"  
  
"Not fair?" Higan chuckled. "Life ain't fair, son. If our leader needs you captured again, this old man has no choice but to play dirty."  
  
Licht wiped a trail of blood from his face, his glare intensifying. "Who's your leader?"  
  
"That's classified information." Higan shrugged, his voice and posture deceptively calm. "But he's powerful, and he needs you two. So this old man keeps on doing the dirty work for him... fighting people, beating youngsters up, capturing them, whatever he asks. It's tiring sometimes... often. It makes you wish you could just stop, drop everything and live a peaceful life. But this old man's wishes don't count." He gave a sad sigh. "What counts is our leader's wishes... the needs of Melancholy."  
  
Without uttering a warning, he lunged at Hyde again, faster than Licht could protect him.  
  
Hyde gasped as an elbow was jammed into his ribs, a hand closed around his neck and lifted him up, a pair of hands expertly incapacitating him, leaving him struggling in vain. He was dangling in the air, helpless, defenseless, unable to breathe, knowing Higan would knock him out in a minute and do the same thing to Licht.  
  
No. He didn't want this. He wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let this creep of a teacher have Licht... or himself. Not after they had just broken down the door together. Not after they'd been seconds away from making an escape.  
  
"Hyde!" Licht called out. Eyes flashing with rage, he darted across the room, leaping through the air, ready to kick Higan into a wall.  
  
Higan smiled, dodged the kick and lashed out one hand to throw a well-aimed punch, sending Licht crashing to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. Still smiling from ear to ear, he placed a foot on the boy's back, pinning him down on the ground.  
  
"That's the way," he said. "Accept that you've been captured. If you're nice and stop struggling, this old man won't hurt you anymore."  
  
Licht gritted his teeth, his face distorted with fury as he shifted, struggled, trying and failing to break free, gasping for breath when Higan pressed him against the ground, his foot weighing down on his chest.  
  
Hyde watched as Licht's resistance grew weaker, his gasps for breath more desperate, watched as his moves grew heavy with exhaustion and his hands started shaking, the strain finally taking its toll on his already weakened body. It was no good, he couldn't break free like that. Hyde had to do something. He had to save him... somehow...  
  
 _Remember. What did you use to do back in your gang days? What did the others use to do?_  
  
An image of Kuro flashed in front of his eyes, held up by the neck just like he was right now, struggling in his opponent's grip, his feet dangling in the air. He could see him move against the grip, lifting an arm and...  
  
 _Oh._  
  
Without a second thought, Hyde freed a hand from Higan's incapacitating grip and pulled at his hair as hard and fast as he could. The teacher staggered back, his grip loosening for less than a split second. That split second was enough. Hyde dropped to the ground and flung himself at him, trying to shove him off Licht's back. Higan caught his attack and blocked it, and for a moment they were locked in a wrestling duel, a match of strength against strength, neither of them giving way.  
  
Then Higan's stance shifted by mere inches, and the second his foot changed position on Licht's back, a hand closed around his ankle, pulling it sideways.  
  
Higan lost his balance and stumbled, freeing Licht from under his foot. The pianist rolled to the side, coughing and wheezing and trying to take in all the air in the room at once, and immediately scrambled to his feet, moving out of Higan's reach. "Don't gimme that selfless bullshit," he hissed, readying himself for the final attack. "Your wishes don't count? You're just doing this for Melancholy? _Lies!_ " He stepped closer to Higan, looming over the teacher, who was trying and failing to get on his feet, with Hyde's grip keeping him on the ground. "You're enjoying this, you bastard! You like beating people up and making them suffer! And you call yourself a teacher." He scoffed. "Disgusting."  
  
Before Higan could reply, Licht charged forward and threw three kicks at him in rapid succession, in his face, his ribcage, his stomach. Higan grimaced in pain and lay down on the ground, bleeding from his nose and mouth, clutching his ribcage where Licht had broken his bones, his eyes closing as he faded into unconsciousness.  
  
It was over.  
  
Hyde and Licht looked at each other, still panting, exhausted but relieved and incredulous. They had done it. They had defeated Higan. And they would probably get in trouble for it later, but just for the moment, they were free. They could finally get out of here.  
  
Licht staggered, struggling to stay on his feet, steadying himself by leaning one arm against the wall, the other wiping sweat and blood from his face. He looked pale, Hyde realized, paler than ever, white as a ghost and fragile as a porcelain doll. Hyde tried to get up, but all his injuries hit him like a punch in the gut, and he slumped back to the ground, wincing in pain.  
  
They were both completely spent. They had defeated Higan, sure, but getting out of here was going to be an even greater obstacle.  
  
A hand reached into Hyde's vision, offering itself to Hyde as Licht stood in front of him, leaning down to his eye level. "Let's go."  
  
Hyde took his hand and tried to stand up a second time, only to fall back to the ground, all his injuries hurting more than ever. "Angel-chan..." he whimpered through clenched teeth, trying so hard to endure the pain, failing so miserably. "I can't move... everything hurts..."  
  
Licht looked at him for a moment, then he knelt down next to him, pulling Hyde's arm over his shoulders. "Hold on, shit rat. I'll carry you."  
  
"Lichtan..." Hyde felt moved, but he couldn't allow him to do this, not when he could barely walk himself. "You shouldn't! Aren't you worn out too?"  
  
"I'm not that weak! I'm an angel!" Licht tightened his grip on Hyde's side and pulled him on his back, slowly lifting them both up to his feet. "Quit your whining and thank me like a normal person."  
  
He walked a few steps, then he stumbled, catching himself in the nick of time, leaning against the wall and panting. After a few moments he resumed walking, only to stagger and fall to the ground, shaking, gasping and coughing.  
  
Hyde hurried to scramble off his back and sit next to him. "I told you it's too much! Listen to me when I worry about you, geez!"  
  
"It's... not too much." Licht coughed again and sat up, leaning against Hyde's shoulder. "Just... need a short break. Then... for sure..."  
  
His eyes closed, and he slumped forward, nearly falling to the ground but caught in Hyde's arms at the last second. "Just a sec," he mumbled drowsily. "I'm an angel. Angels aren't that weak."  
  
Hyde smiled, half fondly, half sadly, and pulled him over to have his head resting in his lap, running his fingers through his dampened, messy hair, stroking his bangs away from his forehead. "You're not weak, Lichtan," he said to the sleeping boy below. "You just saved me... twice. Even though you're sick and your fever's back." His smile widened. "If you ask me, that's a pretty awesome thing to do, Angel-chan."  
  
He just hoped that someone was out there looking for them, that someone would find them. Because they sure as hell wouldn't be able to get anywhere by themselves.


	18. After the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lichtan, look, they found us!"

"This place is so empty." The sound of a clear voice reached Hyde's ears from a distance, far-off and removed, yet a welcoming voice, a familiar voice. "Misono, are you sure we've got the right place?"  
  
"Positive," another voice answered. "All the hints point to this building. The kidnappers were here, and unless they somehow found a way to slip under our radar and escape, they still are in here somewhere. So tone down your voice, or you'll betray or location, bastard!"  
  
"You're kinda loud yourself, senpai..."  
  
"Shut up, Sendagaya!" The voices were slowly coming closer, and Hyde could hear steps, the steps of many feet drawing nearer and nearer. Then they suddenly stopped, and there was a moment's silence before a fourth voice spoke up.  
  
"We can't all go up these stairs side by side... may I ask who's going ahead? Have you planned that too, Misono?"  
  
The first voice replied without hesitation. "Thinking simply, it's gotta be Kuro and me! Right, Kuro?"  
  
"Don't lump me into this... what a pain."  
  
Hyde opened his eyes. How long had they been here? He had no idea. It could have been a few minutes for all he knew, or a few hours, or maybe even days. He must have dozed off, or maybe he had fallen asleep, he wasn't sure. Nothing that had happened since he left the dorm that night seemed real. It all felt like a bizarre dream, a twisted nightmare in his overactive imagination.  
  
Yet here he was, injured, scarred and bruised all over, with a broken arm and a broken leg and several broken ribs and probably a dozen other nasties he couldn't name, with a sleeping Licht still resting in his lap, drops of cold sweat gathering on his forehead. They had found themselves in a corridor that turned around a corner and disappeared some way ahead, probably leading up to a staircase or something. There was no sign of anyone, except for the voices downstairs.  
  
"Lily, stay down here," one of the voices said. "We need someone to watch out and warn us if anyone tries anything from below."  
  
There was a low chuckle. "You can count on me, Misono."  
  
"Alright then. Hugh, Sendagaya, let's go!"  
  
"Come on, Kuro, don't lag behind! We're supposed to go ahead!"  
  
"Walking upstairs is a pain... isn't there an elevator?"  
  
"No! Get moving, lazybones!"  
  
"But gravity's so strong today."  
  
"Like hell it is! Now go ahead, who's gonna protect me if we get attacked from above?"  
  
There was a sigh, and a moment later two pairs of feet started walking up the stairs, drawing closer and stopping when they reached the second floor. For a moment everything was quiet, then the voices spoke up again.  
  
"It's so quiet in here... do you think there's anyone here at all?"  
  
"Dunno. Maybe we should go back... I kinda don't like this."  
  
 _No! Don't go._ The thought shot through Hyde's head before he could help it. He didn't want big brother and Mahiru to leave. He wanted to be found. Licht needed help, and so did he. _Don't leave us._  
  
He took a deep breath, trying to shout, but his broken ribs protested, and he wound up clutching his sides, wincing and hissing in pain. Dammit, he couldn't make himself heard. If they left again... what would he do? What would Licht do? He didn't even have his phone...  
  
"Go back?" Mahiru repeated, half annoyed, half incredulous. "Like hell we are! I'm not leaving till we've checked all the rooms, they might be in here somewhere! Let's go!"  
  
"What a pain... If we get caught in a sneak attack I'm blaming you."  
  
There was a sigh, and then shuffling footsteps approached, moving towards the corner of the corridor. A moment later they stopped, and Hyde looked up to find Kuro standing there, looking down at the two of them, his expression unreadable.  
  
"Mahiru," he called, "I've found them."  
  
"You did?" Mahiru nearly stumbled and darted in their direction at lightning speed, coming to stand next to Kuro. "You're right, there they are! Hyde, Licht, are you okay? Guys, we've found them!"  
  
There was a hurry of footsteps and a clamor of voices, but Hyde didn't listen. All he cared about was that they'd finally been found. They were safe now. Everything would be all right.  
  
"Angel-chan," he said, nudging Licht gently, trying to wake him up. "Lichtan, look, they found us!"  
  
Mahiru was already next to them, carefully lifting Licht out of Hyde's lap and trying to help them both up at the same time. "You look really beat up," he said, frowning with worry. "What happened to you guys?"  
  
Hyde wasn't entirely sure where to begin. So much had happened since last night that it felt like months had passed when it had only been less than twenty-four hours. Less than twenty-four hours that had turned his whole life upside down. He had been kidnapped, beaten up and captured. He had woken up in an empty room with his eyes glued closed, he had found Licht thrown down next to him, he had discovered that Licht did care about him, somehow. He had remembered his lost love and gotten over her. His entire philosophy had been turned upside down. He had found new hope in the nutcase that was Licht Jekylland Todoroki, the boy he had escaped with, the boy he had fought side by side with, the boy who had tried to protect him when he could barely protect himself.  
  
The incredible, amazing, awe-inspiring human being that was Licht Jekylland Todoroki.  
  
His friend.  
  
"A... lot of things," he said, suddenly feeling incredibly tired, so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open. "I'll tell you the whole thing later..."  
  
"Hyde? Hyde! Are you okay?" Mahiru grabbed and shook him, and Hyde winced at the pain in his broken bones. "Oh snap, you're hurt! And Licht too! And his fever's gone way up again... Somebody call an ambulance!"  
  
Lily immediately reached for his phone and started dialing. Mahiru gestured for Kuro to help him place Licht and Hyde back down in a comfortable position, and a moment later Hyde found himself leaning against the boy who had once been his fellow gang member, his brother in arms, then a traitor. And he didn't mind. He didn't hate Kuro anymore, he realized. He still hated what he'd done, but... Hyde had been wrong about so many things. He wouldn't be surprised if he'd been wrong about Kuro and his decision too.  
  
"Big brother?" he asked quietly just as Kuro gently placed him down and was about to step away.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"About... what happened." He saw Kuro tense up, his eyes darkening as his whole stance shifted into defensive mode, but he kept talking. They couldn't sort this out just yet, but maybe they could still get along for the time being, somehow. "I won't forgive you, okay? Maybe someday... maybe not. But..." He averted his eyes and reached up a hand, feeling the embarrassment creep up his neck. "Let's call it a truce for now. We're fighting for the same side, so it'd be bad if we didn't get along."  
  
Kuro hesitated for a long moment. Then he slowly reached down, awkwardly closing his fingers around Hyde's hand, squeezing it lightly. "...Okay."  
  
Mahiru watched them from the side, a big smile on his face.  
  
Misono was the only one who was still frowning. He was pacing up and down, inspecting every nook and cranny, opening door after door, his brows furrowed in growing confusion. "There's something strange here."  
  
"Strange?" Tetsu said from the side, nearly making Misono jump to the ceiling.  
  
"Sendagaya!" he burst out, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Don't sneak up on me like that while I'm thinking!"  
  
Tetsu scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry. What were you thinking about though?"  
  
"The kidnappers."  
  
The entire room fell silent. All eyes were on Misono, some surprised, some startled, some wide with realization.  
  
"Since Hyde and Todoroki were brought here by someone," he continued, unfazed by the attention, "it's rather strange that said someone isn't around, isn't it? The kidnappers should still be here somewhere, guarding their victims, but there's no trace of them. Did they leave after realizing their location's been found out? Did they decide to leave the prisoners behind, or did these two simply escape before they could be taken away too? And how did the kidnappers disappear without anyone outside noticing? It's suspicious."  
  
Mahiru frowned in thought. "Maybe they had a secret way out?"  
  
"None of the doors seem to lead to ways outside," Misono remarked, "although I haven't checked all of them yet. There must be a secret door hidden in here somewhere."  
  
Kuro gave him an exhausted look. "That could be anywhere. Can't deal."  
  
"We can take care of that later," Mahiru declared before Misono had the chance to reply anything. "For now we need to make sure Licht and Hyde are okay and wait for the ambulance. Oh, and someone needs to call Mr. Crantz and tell him we found them!"  
  
"Not to interrupt you in your youthful energy," a voice piped in from behind, "but would one of you kids be so kind as to help this old man up?"  
  
Mahiru jumped. Kuro inadvertently grabbed hold of Mahiru's sleeve. Misono stepped behind Lily. Hugh flashed a knife from his pocket. Even Tetsu looked startled.  
  
Hyde narrowed his eyes, glaring into the direction of the voice as he reached for Licht's hand, gripping it tightly. Of course it came from the room they had just fled. The one room Misono hadn't checked yet because the two of them were in the way.  
  
Mahiru swallowed, pushed up his sleeves and took a step forward, cautiously peeking around the corner. "I'm gonna check who's the–"  
  
He was interrupted by Kuro yanking him back by the fabric of his sweater.  
  
"Ow!" he burst out, gasping and coughing. "What the hell, Kuro?"  
  
"Don't go. It could be dangerous."  
  
"But someone has to–"  
  
"I'm going."  
  
Mahiru's head shot up. Eyes widening, he gaped up at Kuro, wondering if he had heard him right. "Kuro..."  
  
The delinquent glanced down at him with his usual exhausted look, but his eyes were dark with determination. "I'm going," he said again, more quietly this time. "Maybe that guy's dangerous."  
  
Mahiru stared at him as the words sank in. Then a moved smile spread across his face, and in spite of the situation, he couldn't help laughing. "Are you worried about me, Kuro? I'll be fine!"  
  
"...What a pain." Kuro turned away, his bangs obscuring his face, but Mahiru could have sworn he was blushing a little. "You're a pro at getting in trouble. If I have to go in and save you anyway, might as well go look myself."  
  
He turned and walked into the room, taking a look around. A moment later his voice appeared from somewhere behind the door, calm as ever, if somewhat confused. "It's all cool," he remarked. "Nothing dangerous. Just this one grandpa."  
  
"Grandpa?" Mahiru repeated incredulously. Opening the door, he peered into the room, following his friend inside to see what he'd been looking at. " _Higan-sensei?!_ "  
  
The art teacher groaned and gave him a lopsided smile. He was a complete mess; his entire body was covered in scars and bruises, one of his eyes was black, trails of drying blood were running from his mouth and nose, and one of his legs lay at a strange, unnatural angle, as if it was broken. He looked like he had fought and been beaten up completely, then left behind by his attackers without a care.  
  
"Good afternoon," he greeted them, shifting in a feeble attempt to get up by himself and slumping back to the ground, groaning. "Or should I say good evening? Do you have the time?"  
  
Mahiru hurried to his side, struggling to pull him up to his feet. "Higan-sensei, what happened to you?"  
  
"Me?" He laughed. "Came to let out our two missing students, but when this old man opened the door they must have thought I was one of their captors and beat me up like this." He lifted one arm in a dismissive gesture. "Well, not that I mind. By the way, does one of you happen to have a light?"  
  
"Sensei! Don't encourage minors to smoke!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry."  
  
"And besides, how can you act calm like that, anyway? We need to get you to the hospital! You're badly injured!" Mahiru dragged Higan through the door, followed by Kuro. "By the way, guys, what's the ambulance doing?"  
  
As if on cue, there was a siren howling from below.  
  
Misono frowned at the injured trio with a sigh. "Perfect timing."  
  
\---  
  
Hyde woke up in a hospital bed, with little recollection of how he'd found himself here in the first place. All he remembered was the ambulance arriving and some people carrying him around, and then he must have passed out, or fallen asleep, however one wanted to put it. He wondered how long he'd been sleeping. Was it the next day already? Was it still evening?  
  
And, most importantly, how was Licht doing?  
  
The thought had barely crossed his mind when there was a rustle of blankets off to one side, and a moment later a familiar voice spoke up, a little drowsy but otherwise steady and calm. "Awake at last, shit rat?"  
  
Hyde tried to roll over and found that he couldn't. His broken leg had been put in a cast and placed above the bed to rest, and he couldn't remove it from its hanging position no matter how hard he tried. Groaning, he propped himself up, turning his head in the direction of the voice.  
  
Licht lay curled up in the bed across the room, head propped up on a stack of pillows and a half-eaten plate of melon on the nightstand next to him, blue eyes watching Hyde with a look that was almost akin to relief. Hyde couldn't help cracking a smile. "Good morning, Angel-chan."  
  
"It's noon," Licht replied, shoving another slice of melon into his mouth. "Look at the clock, dumbass."  
  
Hyde pouted at the insult, but otherwise chose to ignore it for once. "Noon?" he asked instead. "How long did I sleep?"  
  
"Dunno. I just woke up an hour ago."  
  
Hyde leaned forward, taking a closer look at Licht. He looked a lot better already. The color had returned to his face, his injuries had been treated, and his fever seemed to have gone down too, judging by the lack of sweat on his forehead and the way he had freed his upper body from the blanket instead of curling up in it. He looked relaxed, almost happy, his eyes sparkling with delight as he munched on his beloved, well-deserved melon.  
  
A wave of relief washed over Hyde. Licht was fine. They were both fine, somehow. They had made it, they had managed, and now they were both safe. He didn't need to worry anymore.  
  
"I'm glad you're okay, Angel-chan."  
  
Licht didn't reply. He just scrambled out of his blanket, picked up the plate with one last slice of melon on it, and walked over to Hyde's bed, extending the plate towards him. "Here."  
  
"...Huh?"  
  
Hyde blinked up at him, wondering if he was seeing this right, if Licht had really just offered him the last slice of his beloved melon. "...Angel-chan?"  
  
"Just take it," Licht snapped, avoiding his eyes and shoving the plate under his nose. "You're hungry, right?"  
  
Hyde's stomach growled in response, and he realized that he hadn't eaten anything all day yesterday. Reaching out, he took the slice of melon off its plate and shoved it into his mouth. It was sweet, too sweet for his taste, but right now it was the best thing he had eaten in his life, the best thing he could have asked for if he'd been offered everything a dozen three-star chefs had to offer.  
  
A big, happy smile spread across his face without a second thought. "This is delicious!" he said, beaming up at Licht. "Thanks, Lichtan!"  
  
Licht glared at his feet. "You're lucky you woke up when you did, shit rat. I was this close to eating the last one too."  
  
"So you saved it up for me? Angel-chan, you're so nice!"  
  
Licht didn't say anything. He just dropped down on the ground next to Hyde's bed, resting his head on the mattress, his finger idly drawing circles on the now-empty plate. "You better get well soon, shit rat," he mumbled, without anger or annoyance for once. "If you don't, I'll kill you till you're dead."  
  
Hyde leaned back into the pillows, watching his classmate with an affectionate smile. The word _friend_ popped into his head, unbidden, uninvited, gently wrapping itself around Licht like it had always belonged there. Licht was his friend now. Not a temporary distraction, not a replacement goldfish for Ophelia, but someone who actually mattered to him as an individual, as a person. His friend.  
  
Cracking a small grin, he snatched the empty plate from Licht's hands, balancing it on his finger. "The same goes for you, Angel-chan."  
  
"Licht! _Mais qu'est-ce que tu fais?_ "  
  
They both jumped. Without either of them noticing, the door had opened, and in walked Crantz, a very worried and exasperated look on his face. "What did I tell you about staying in bed until you've recovered?" he shouted, grabbing his student by the shirt and yanking him back into his bed. "And here I find you sitting on the cold floor! Do you want to catch pneumonia? Back into bed you go, _monsieur_ , and this time you're staying in bed or I'm putting up surveillance cameras! _Compris?_ "  
  
"Whatever," Licht grumbled, pulling the blanket up to his nose.  
  
"And no more melon! If I catch you on the floor one more time, you'll have to live off hospital food! Is that clear?"  
  
Licht peered over the edge of the blanket, glaring daggers at his teacher. "Not the melon."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then behave yourselves!" Crantz sighed, walked over to Hyde's bed, and picked up the empty plate. "Well, the good news is that at least you won't start any fights in this state."  
  
Hyde pursed his lips in thought. "We could start pillow fights, though..."  
  
"Absolutely not!"  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru leaped to his feet as soon as Crantz exited the hospital room. "How are they?"  
  
"They're awake." The teacher smiled. "They're both awake and as lively as ever. Licht even got out of bed without permission. I think they'll be fine."  
  
Mahiru sighed and slumped in relief. "Thank goodness! Can I see them sometime?"  
  
Crantz checked his watch, pondering the question. "Today's visiting hours are pretty much over, but I don't think there's anything keeping you from dropping by tomorrow." His smile widened. "You've been a great help in saving them, after all."  
  
Mahiru's smile faltered. He tensed up, forcing his face into a happy expression while his eyes darkened, glancing at the floor. "Ah, um... It was nothing."  
  
"No need to be so modest! We all owe you, you know. I'm sure Licht and Hyde would also like to thank you themselves," Crantz said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You can bring your friends too if you want. It was all of you who rescued them after all."  
  
"Okay... thank you."  
  
Crantz went his way, and Mahiru was about to do the same when Kuro's quiet voice stopped him. "Mahiru."  
  
He turned around, meeting his friend's eyes. Kuro looked serious, serious and worried and just a little confused. "What's wrong?"  
  
Mahiru jolted. Was it really that obvious? He'd been trying not to show that he felt down, but of course Kuro wouldn't fall for that. Kuro knew him too well. He'd been stupid to think he could hide anything from his companion in the first place.  
  
Swallowing thickly, he took a deep breath, staring at his shoes. "You know, it's just... I feel like this whole mess is my fault."  
  
Kuro didn't say anything. He just continued to look at him, as if encouraging him to go on.  
  
"Well, y'know..." Mahiru sat back down on his chair, pulling up his knees and resting his head against them. "I'm the one who sent Hyde out to get Licht melon in the middle of the night. When he didn't come back, I thought everything was fine and waited for half a day before alerting everyone, and that's why Licht got tired of waiting and went out and got injured too... and even Higan-sensei. If I'd just gone out to get the melon myself then maybe... maybe everyone would still be okay, you know?"  
  
Kuro sat down next to him, his expression soft, sympathetic. "You helped find them too though."  
  
" _I didn't do anything!_ "  
  
Kuro blinked, startled by his sudden outburst. A wave of self-consciousness crept over Mahiru. Mumbling an apology, he covered his mouth, blushing with shame. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, but I just... I really feel like I didn't do a thing. You're the one who told the others what was up. Misono and Hugh gathered all the info and found out where Licht and Hyde were. You found them in that house. I didn't even call the ambulance! If Mr. Crantz hadn't talked to me, I wouldn't even have figured out Hyde got kidnapped and Licht ran away. I couldn't protect anyone... I couldn't do anything."  
  
Oh great, his voice was cracking. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he blinked them back. He wouldn't cry now. He wouldn't...  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
Mahiru glanced up in surprise. "...Huh?"  
  
"I said you're wrong," Kuro said quietly, without facing Mahiru, lowering his head, obscuring his expression with long strands of hair. "You did a bunch. Like... you spent the whole day looking for Hyde. You alerted Bastard-chan and the others... you checked up on Angel-chan when you heard something was wrong... and you found out where Hyde was supposed to meet that teacher." He turned to look at Mahiru. "Right?"  
  
Mahiru shifted in his chair. "Well..." A small smile crossed his face. "You're probably right, but..."  
  
"The others wouldn't have found Hyde and Angel-chan without you." Kuro's voice was calm, matter-of-fact, but it was radiating warmth, a warmth that made something inside Mahiru's heart soften and melt away. "'Course you did something."  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru whispered, giving his friend a look of pure gratitude. His voice broke again, tears welled up in his eyes, but this time he didn't mind. "Kuro..." he whispered again, unable to say anything else. "Thank you."  
  
The delinquent turned his head away, hiding his face. "What a pain... I'm just telling the truth. You're exhausting when you're down."  
  
Mahiru smiled. "Thanks," he said again, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, basking in the warmth under his palm. "But you know, Kuro..."  
  
"...Yeah?"  
  
"I... I've been thinking." His hand gripped Kuro's shoulder, fingers clenching into the fabric of his shirt. "I still feel like I didn't do as much as I could have... or should have. I mean, this time Licht and Hyde freed themselves, but what if they hadn't?" He paused. "What if we'd had to fight the kidnappers?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Didn't happen though."  
  
"I know." Mahiru gave him another quick smile. "But maybe this wasn't the last time stuff like this happened. What if we have to fight the kidnappers next time?"  
  
Kuro looked up, meeting Mahiru's eyes in surprise. "You think there's gonna be a next time?"  
  
"I think Tsubaki's behind this."  
  
Kuro tensed up. Mahiru let go of his shoulder, pulling his hand back to fidget awkwardly. "What?" he asked, throwing a sharp glance at the surprised look Kuro was sending him. "I can't be the only one who thinks this, right? Thinking simply, Tsubaki's declared war on you and your gang, so it would make sense for him to kidnap one of you guys when he has the chance... and if that's right then he could do it again, know what I mean?"  
  
Kuro nodded quietly, his hands clutching his knees. His eyes were dark, glowing from the inside like red-hot lava, fear and anger whirling together into grim, smoldering fury.  
  
Shuddering, Mahiru shifted away from him, trying to avert his eyes and failing. His gaze was locked on Kuro's eyes, locked at the tranquil rage roaring inside them. "...Kuro?"  
  
The delinquent blinked, and the illusion disappeared. Kuro was back to the usual tired-looking high school boy Mahiru knew him as, almost as if the past few seconds had never happened. "Nothing."  
  
"You also think Tsubaki's behind this, right?"  
  
"Kinda, I guess." Kuro shrugged. "I was just trying to ignore it 'cause dealing with Tsubaki's already exhausting enough."  
  
"Geez, drop that attitude already!" Mahiru tried to sound angry and failed, winding up laughing with relief instead, relief that this grim, scary side of Kuro had only been a temporary illusion. "Sooner or later you'll have to deal with him, you know?"  
  
Kuro sighed. "Trying to ignore that too."  
  
"You shouldn't run from your responsibilities! Sheesh," Mahiru sighed, giving Kuro a stern look before smiling again. "Don't worry, you won't have to deal with him alone. You'll have the others too, you know? And me."  
  
"You?" Kuro's eyes widened for a moment, glinting with something akin to surprise before dulling into an exasperated expression. "So I'm gonna have to babysit you again... what a pain."  
  
"Who's babysitting who here?!"  
  
"Well... you just keep getting in trouble and dragging me into it... am I gonna have to save you again?"  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth, ready to retort when he changed his mind. Kuro was right. As he was, he wouldn't be of much help in a fight. He'd get in the way and slow everyone down, and then Kuro would have to save him again, just like he had back then. But... but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to help, somehow. There was no way he'd just stand by and watch while doing nothing.  
  
Resolve hardening within him, he clenched his fists, meeting Kuro's eyes with firm determination. "No," he said quietly, sincerely, every inch of his will standing behind his voice. "Not this time. This time I'll fight beside you, Kuro. This time I'll be strong enough to help you."  
  
"Uh..." Kuro returned his gaze with soft confusion, shifting awkwardly in his chair. "Ma...hiru...?"  
  
The words were out before he could stop them. Without paying a thought to his movements, Mahiru reached out to take Kuro's hands in his own, gripping them tightly. "I wanna get stronger with you, Kuro. Strong enough to protect people... strong enough to fight beside you. As partners."  
  
Kuro's eyes widened, and just for a second a million emotions reflected within them, surprise, embarrassment, joy, gratitude. His face turned pink as he dropped his gaze, turning his head to the side as he mumbled, "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru smiled. Kuro might not agree to his resolve with words, but the way he tightened his grip on Mahiru's hands spoke more than anything words could say.  
  
"So we have a deal," he said softly, smiling even wider. "Let me become a partner you can rely on. Let's grow into a team that protects people, okay?"  
  
"You and your samaritan complex." Kuro sighed, still not letting go of Mahiru's hands. "What a pain..."  
  
Mahiru knew him well enough to know that was a yes.  
  
Laughing, he got up, hands still clasping Kuro's, pulling his friend up to his feet next to him. "Come on, let's go back! The others must be waiting."  
  
Kuro followed reluctantly, even as Mahiru let go of one hand, pulling him along with the other, lacing their fingers together. His head and heart were spinning. He was glad to see Mahiru happy again, relieved to have given that smile back to his kind face where it belonged, to have dried his tears and calmed his worries and guilt. And he was happy, so undeservedly happy. Mahiru's words made him happy. His friend wanted to fight side by side with him, as a team, as partners. He wanted to help Kuro, to support him and earn his trust and be a reliable partner. No one had ever said anything like that to him. He had fought side by side with many people, but none of them had ever fought by his side out of loyalty for him, out of the simple, honest desire to not let him struggle alone, out of friendship. And here Mahiru was, doing just that with a nod and a smile.  
  
And it made him happy, so happy that he couldn't help the stab of guilt shooting through his heart, the fear lurking over his head, ready to seize him with cold hands. Mahiru was saying and doing all that because he didn't know him. His friend only thought of him as the lazy, awkward high school student who was unjustly accused of being a dangerous delinquent, but that was only part of the truth. He didn't know what he'd done, what he was responsible for. The monster he'd become.  
  
If Mahiru knew... would he still want to fight by his side? Would he still want to spend time with him and smile at him and hold his hand?  
  
Of course not. No one ever would. Shirota Mahiru was the warmest, kindest, most forgiving human being Kuro had ever met, but even he had to have his limits. If he found out, he'd turn his back and leave. Just like everyone else.  
  
And it would only be fair. It would be well-deserved. Someone like Kuro didn't deserve all the happiness he had now. He didn't deserve the trust and friendship of someone like Mahiru.  
  
But even if he knew all that... he didn't want to lose this. It was probably selfish and stupid and undeserved and wrong on so many levels, but he wanted to hold onto this happiness while it lasted. Savor every second he had with Mahiru, pretending to be Kuro the lazy second-year, not Sleepy Ash, the Silent Demise.  
  
He hadn't told Mahiru, but he felt bad about the kidnapping too. He hadn't done anything, really hadn't done anything, not like Mahiru who'd just felt like he hadn't done enough. If things had become serious, he wasn't sure if he could have done anything to help. Because despite everything, he wanted to do something. Hyde's disappearance had made him realize it, that he didn't want to see anyone else dear to him hurt or beaten up. He wanted to protect people. All the people he cared about, even if they didn't return that feeling.  
  
 _And especially you._  
  
His eyes rested on the boy running ahead of him, still holding his hand, turning over his shoulder to smile at him. The smile that made the sun rise on the darkest, rainiest days, the smile that warmed Kuro from the inside and dazzled him and blinded him with its brightness, the boy who smiled that smile at him of all people, genuinely believing he was worthy of the sight. Kuro wanted to protect all of that. He wanted to see Mahiru safe and happy, no matter what he had to do for that goal, no matter what he had to sacrifice. The thought of seeing him hurt wasn't something he could bear. When he thought that instead of Licht or Hyde, it could have been him Tsubaki had kidnapped, his chest froze with fear, his head felt numb, cold fury freezing in his veins.  
  
 _Don't worry, Mahiru. I don't care what happens to me... but I'll keep you safe at all costs.  
_  
Mahiru didn't have to know that, of course. On the contrary, he didn't want him to know. It was embarrassing how attached he was to this guy, his first ever friend, no, his best and only friend. To Mahiru, he was only one out of many friends. And that was fine. Mostly.  
  
After all, someone like him couldn't hope to have Mahiru to himself even if he wanted to.  
  
\---  
  
Misono had been staring off into the air since yesterday, and honestly at this point Lily was getting seriously worried.  
  
He had often seen his childhood friend, or younger brother as he jokingly liked to refer to him, lost in thought, spinning and tossing and turning a case around in his mind even as he appeared to be zoning out and doing nothing. Strange as it looked, Lily knew Misono well enough to know that it was one of his favorite pastimes and not question it, but this was going out of hand. Usually he would have figured out the case or moved on to something more interesting after a few hours at most; staring at nothing for a whole day wasn't something he had ever seen before.  
  
"Misono?" he called softly, careful not to startle him. "Misono, is anything bothering you?"  
  
Misono didn't reply. He continued to stare holes into the air, frowning as the gears of his brain turned at lightning speed.  
  
"Misono!" Lily called again. "Can you hear me?"  
  
No reaction. Lily sighed, voiced a quiet apology, and stepped in front of his friend, waving a hand through his field of vision. "Misono, what's the matter?"  
  
Misono leaped out of his chair, screaming like a little girl. "Lily!" he burst out. "How long have you been here? I told you to knock, bastard!"  
  
"My apologies." Lily chuckled, bowing slightly. "Although, in my defense, you didn't even hear me calling out to you. Is anything wrong?"  
  
"That's what I wonder," Misono answered with a frown. "Lily... I think I overlooked something earlier, and now it's been haunting me all day. There may have been a clue here... a clue about the kidnapping."  
  
Lily's eyes widened in surprise. A clue about the kidnapping? He wasn't sure if that was good news to him or not. After Licht and Hyde had gone off to the hospital yesterday the police had arrived to investigate the case, and with that Misono had appeared to close it off for the time being, although Lily knew he could never truly let go of a mystery unless he solved it himself. If he was so invested in it a mere day after passing it on to the authorities, he might be close to bringing himself in danger by investigating on his own.  
  
A grave expression crossing his face, he sat down next to his friend, offering him a smile that wasn't entirely genuine. "Tell me."  
  
"Very well," Misono said, more to himself than to Lily, his eyes still fixed on something only he could see. "Maybe you can make some sense of this. It's about Higan-sensei."  
  
Lily blinked down at him, wondering if he had heard him right. "Higan-sensei?"  
  
"Yes." Misono's frown deepened. "When we found Todoroki and Hyde yesterday, he was already there, beaten up, and when we asked he told us that he tried to release them and they blindly attacked him. I think... I think we shouldn't have believed him like we did."  
  
He paused, trying to gather his thoughts before he went on, "Higan-sensei's explanation leaves too many questions unanswered. First of all, how did he know about Hyde and Todoroki's disappearance at all?"  
  
Lily lowered his eyebrows in thought. Misono's question was valid; while it must have become known quickly that Hyde had gone missing, Licht's disappearance had only been known to a handful of people before he was found, and none of them, to his knowledge, included Higan-sensei. Still, there could be another explanation for that. "Maybe Mr. Crantz told him... or he only tried to release Hyde and didn't know that Licht-kun was there too."  
  
"I considered that," Misono replied, still not looking at him. "But even if he did know about it, how did he find them so quickly? We set all the gears in motion to find them as soon as possible and yet he arrived there before us. How did he know where to look? It's strange."  
  
"Well..." Lily smiled nervously. "Maybe he found out Hyde was missing and instantly took the same steps as you did after school. It's possible, isn't it?"  
  
Misono shook his head. "I doubt that," he admitted. "We were many people, and we would never have found the hideout that quickly if it wasn't for Hugh's underlings. There's no way Higan-sensei could have found the place that quickly... unless he knew from a different source."  
  
Lily stopped even trying to smile. "You mean..."  
  
"I mean that there's something strange about it. The things he knew despite having no way of knowing them, the fact that he found Hyde and Todoroki before we did... and then there's the way he was all beaten up." Misono paused in thought. "I know he claimed that they mindlessly attacked him when he opened the door, but then they should have realized their error soon enough and stopped fighting him. Higan-sensei's injuries speak of more than a quick surprise attack. There was a fight here."  
  
Lily frowned, worried eyes resting on his friend, who was still lost in thought. "Misono...?"  
  
Snapping back into reality, Misono blinked, shaking his head and making a dismissive gesture. "This is only a suspicion," he declared. "Maybe you're right and there's a logical explanation to all of this. We don't have any proof that Higan-sensei is working with the kidnappers or even supporting them. I just think he's suspicious."  
  
He stood up, purple eyes piercing into Lily's gaze. "One way or another, we should keep a watchful eye on him. He might provide us with precious clues."  
  
\---  
  
"Sorry to keep you guys waiting!"  
  
Mahiru came to a halt in front of his friends, still smiling. Tetsu and Hugh were sitting on a bench at the hospital entrance, right where Mahiru and Kuro had left them earlier, and Misono and Lily had arrived too, Misono squeezing himself on the bench next to Tetsu and Hugh and Lily standing beside him, waving at them.  
  
Everyone looked ready to greet Mahiru and Kuro when suddenly all eyes landed on a certain spot between them, and four mouths closed themselves at the same time. Misono blushed profusely, hiding his face behind his hand; Lily and Hugh exchanged meaningful looks, and Tetsu just looked puzzled. There was an awkward silence.  
  
"Um...?" Mahiru finally ventured, looking from one to the other in growing confusion. "Guys, what's...?"  
  
"Shirota!" Misono snapped at him. "What do you bastards think you're doing? Have some shame, you're in public!"  
  
"Uh... what?"  
  
Lily chuckled, Hugh quickly joining in. "I had no idea you took your relationship to that stage, Mahiru-kun."  
  
"What the...?!"  
  
Tetsu was the only one who had mercy on them. "You're holding hands."  
  
Mahiru and Kuro both froze at the same time. Turned. Looked down at their joined hands and their laced fingers.  
  
Then they leaped apart, letting go of each other's hands like they were on fire. A furious blush exploding on their faces, they turned away from each other, mumbling and stuttering apologies.  
  
"I-I-It's not like that!" Mahiru stammered, gesturing frantically. "It's not what it looks like! I can explain!"  
  
"Yeah, nothing like that. We just had a moment."  
  
"Kuro! You're not helping!"


	19. Fire Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this sports festival certainly wouldn't be boring.

Spring was over, taking the midterm exams with it, proud to see everyone pass. Summer was knocking at the door, smiling with the promise of sunshine and hot days and warm, starry nights, carrying the scent of ice cream and watermelon and the food stalls of summer festivals. No one liked sitting at school anymore. Everybody wanted to go outside and enjoy the sun while it was out, not sit here in this stuffy building and think about topics it was too warm to think about.  
  
Mahiru had been standing at the board for a solid five minutes, waiting for the class to calm down. They had homeroom now, the day had been long enough, nobody could concentrate and everybody just wanted to get out of here, but Mahiru couldn't let them go yet. He had an announcement to make, and when they finally bothered to shut up they'd probably like what he had to say.  
  
And still they wouldn't stop talking.  
  
Face twitching with irritation, Mahiru took a step forward, breathed in and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Everybody, _shut up!_ "  
  
Everybody fell silent, a few classmates jumping with surprise, more than a few recoiling with intimidation at the look on Mahiru's face. The class representative sighed and relaxed. Finally.  
  
"Alright," he said, "now that you're finally listening, I can _finally_ announce an event that's coming up soon." He smiled. "It's a sports festival."  
  
There was a moment's silence. Two dozen pairs of eyes widened in surprise, excited looks spread all over the class, and the next second the entirety of 2-B started talking at once.  
  
Mahiru sighed, but he gave them a moment to talk. Everyone was tired after all, and it was good to see everyone so enthusiastic about this (well, everyone barring Kuro, who was asleep again and never got excited about anything anyway). Listening to snippets of conversation, he caught the words _awesome_ , _cool_ , _no classes_ , and over and over the question, "What sports are in?"  
  
"Let me just explain," he said, raising his voice when the class refused to shut up for the second time today, silencing his classmates again. "We've been planning this for awhile now, but as of today things are official. The festival's in three weeks, and the classes are gonna be competing in different tournaments..." He glanced down on his notes. "Soccer, basketball, volleyball, track... usual rules, nobody from the corresponding clubs and stuff... and there's gonna be a cheer squad too."  
  
Ryuusei groaned. "This sucks! Why can't I ever play soccer for the festival?"  
  
"Because it'd be unfair for the other classes, Ryuu-chan," Koyuki replied before Mahiru could say the same thing. "We've talked about this before, right?"  
  
Ryuusei frowned at him. "Still!"  
  
"You can still sign up for anything else though," Mahiru said half impatiently. "Actually, I was just gonna get to that. We need at least five people each for soccer and basketball, six for volleyball, four for track, and on the cheer squad we need people organizing stuff and making banners." He turned to the board, writing down all the items on his list. "Now, who's signing up for–"  
  
There was a clamor of voices as everybody announced their desired position at once.  
  
"Shut up!" Mahiru yelled at the class. "I can't hear you if everyone's talking at once! Okay, I'm just gonna name every job one by one and if you wanna do it, raise your hand. And no fighting, got that?" The class nodded. "First things first, soccer team. Five people, who's in? No, Ryuusei, not you!"  
  
Thirty long minutes and many, many arguments, discussions and a minor existential crisis later, almost everyone had finally been assigned a position they were at least more or less happy with. Almost everyone being the entire class except for Mahiru himself, who was willing to go anywhere he was needed, and Kuro, who was still sound asleep.  
  
Mahiru looked at the board, pondering where to place his sleeping classmate. He could take the easy way out and assign him some creative position for the cheer squad like he'd probably want to, but they already had enough people there. The one group that desperately did need at least two more people was the volleyball team... should they both go there? He had no idea if Kuro was any good at volleyball. But it was a team sport that heavily relied on communication and collaboration, and Kuro could definitely use an exercise in both of those.  
  
Nodding to himself, he wrote down both their names on the volleyball team. They had Ryuusei and Koyuki there too, maybe this was a good chance for his friends to actually start getting along.  
  
"Alright, that concludes it for today," he said, turning back to the class. "Has everybody remembered their positions? Everybody happy? Good. Anybody wanna wake Kuro up and tell him what he's doing?"  
  
As suspected, there were no volunteers.  
  
Shaking his head at his classmates, Mahiru walked back to his seat as everyone else got up and started leaving the classroom, lifted up his notebook, and hit it on Kuro's head. "Wake up, sleepyhead! Class is over."  
  
Kuro groaned sleepily, rubbing the spot where Mahiru had hit him. "Ow... already? I was just having such a nice dream..."  
  
"You totally slept through homeroom, lazybones! You didn't even tell me what you wanna be doing for the sports festival!"  
  
"Sports festival?" The level of enthusiasm on Kuro's face dropped below zero. "No thanks, I'll pass."  
  
"I thought you'd say that... but you gotta do something!"  
  
Kuro struck a half-hearted pose. "Then I'll be decoration."  
  
"That's not an option! Geez!"  
  
"It should be," Kuro mumbled, sinking back on the desk. "So what are the options? I'll pick the one where I gotta move the least."  
  
"You're too late for options! If you want options, don't snooze through class!" Mahiru punched him in the shoulder. "We're both on the volleyball team."  
  
Kuro groaned. "Ow..."  
  
"What's wrong?" Mahiru's anger was gone in an instant, a look of worry crossing his face. "Did I hit you too hard? Sorry, I didn't mean to–"  
  
"Nah..." Kuro clutched and rubbed the spot where Mahiru had punched him, his face lying flat on the desk. "The thought of playing a team sport gives me physical pain."  
  
"Don't gimme that!" Mahiru burst out. "You lazy little...! I got worried, you know?"  
  
"I'm allergic to team sports. I can't play," Kuro insisted. "Ow, ow, ow."  
  
"Get over it!"  
  
"No... it hurts, it hurts... the only cure to my pain is to curl up under a blanket and eat ramen and drink soda and sleep for a week." Kuro slumped even lower, looking ready to slide off the desk and land on the ground at any given minute. "You gotta find a replacement. Exercise makes my allergies worse... if I try moving it's gonna hurt even more."  
  
"Yeah, right!" Mahiru grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him upright, earning a startled yelp from his friend. "Come on, it won't be that bad. You're good at sports, right?" He smiled. "Let's do our best together!"  
  
\---  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
Shuuhei adjusted his glasses, giving the boy in front of him a pointed look. "Licht Jekylland Todoroki, I will not assign you for any of the sports teams. You have only just recovered from your injuries."  
  
Licht's pout intensified. Scowling at the class representative, he leaped up from his chair, slamming one foot down on his desk. "I'm fine," he said, anger swinging in his voice. "Why? Because I'm an angel!"  
  
"That's right, that's right!" Hyde piped in from the side. "Our cool little Angel-chan has super recovery skills! He's good as new– _ouch!_ What the hell was that for, Lichtan?"  
  
Licht turned, looking at the fresh boot print on Hyde's face with satisfaction. "You were too loud. Shut up, shit rat."  
  
"Hey, I was standing up for you, you know?" Hyde rubbed his face, pouting. "At least thank me!"  
  
"I never asked for your help, moron!"  
  
Shuuhei's glare intensified. "If you two would please shut your mouths or take this somewhere else, I'd be much obliged. I can find you a room if you want to."  
  
The class snickered. Hyde blushed profusely. Licht glanced at everyone, then at him, a confused look on his face. "Why are they laughing?"  
  
Hyde gaped at him in disbelief. "Lichtan, are you serious?" he burst out. "He just told us to get a room! Don't tell me you don't know what that means?"  
  
Licht only tilted his head to the side in confusion. Hyde groaned. Under normal circumstances he would have laughed, but this was oddly embarrassing. How was he supposed to explain this to someone as hopelessly clueless and innocent as Licht Jekylland Todoroki?  
  
"Weeell," he began, fumbling awkwardly. "You see, the implication is that–"  
  
"Everyone, be quiet," Shuuhei interrupted him, earning himself a relieved sigh from Hyde. "Todoroki, you're not joining the volleyball team, end of the discussion. Find something else to join."  
  
Licht sat down, pouting like a child that had been denied his candy. "I wanna play volleyball."  
  
"Please let him play, class rep!" Hyde insisted. "C'mon, the doctor said he's all fine! And let me join the team too!"  
  
"Like hell you're joining the same team as me!"  
  
"Don't be a jerk, Lichtan! I wanna play together with you! Geez!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Shuuhei slammed a hand down on each of their desks, glowering at them over the rim of his glasses, fury raging behind his calm exterior and voice. "Shut. Up."  
  
To his surprise, they actually fell silent, albeit reluctantly. Hyde puffed his cheeks and pouted like a child, and Licht turned into the opposite direction, frowning and sulking.  
  
Shuuhei gave a very long-suffering sigh, turning back to the board and scribbling down Licht and Hyde's names in the volleyball section. "Fine. I'm letting you join the volleyball team for now, but it's at your own risk. If you overdo it or injure yourselves, I'll make sure you get switched out immediately."  
  
Hyde beamed. Smiling from ear to ear, he leaned over, tackling Licht from the side and throwing an arm around his shoulder, nearly knocking him out of his chair. "Did you hear that, Lichtan? We're teammates now! I'm teammates with the super-cool Angel-chan!"  
  
"What the–?!" Licht struggled and pushed, trying and failing to shove his classmate away. "Let go, shit rat! Who said you demon could touch me?"  
  
"Well," Hyde grinned, "I thought I'd get purified by touching you, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht didn't answer. He only jabbed an elbow in Hyde's ribs, making the boy clinging to him jump and yelp, only tightening his grip on his shoulders. The frown on his face had deepened, but Hyde wasn't fooled. Licht's face might speak of anger, but his eyes told a different story, looking not at all hostile but soft and a little happy, if very much embarrassed. They were friends now. They were still squabbling and bickering, and Licht would still try and shove Hyde away at every opportunity, but he could tell. Despite his hostile demeanor, Licht still cared about him, had cared about him since the kidnapping, and ever since that day he had done more than enough to prove it, awkwardly, grumpily, clumsily sometimes, but genuinely and honestly.  
  
Hyde laughed and ruffled Licht's hair, giving it a playful tug that Licht returned tenfold. He wasn't ready to give up their petty squabbling yet, not when it was so much fun to mess with his newfound friend and wait for his payback. It was too much of an old habit for them to quit now. The meaning was gone, yes, but that didn't mean they couldn't still get on each other's nerves for fun.  
  
He wasn't sure he wanted to get on Licht's nerves at the sports festival though. That wasn't really what he had joined the team for. No, something deep inside him missed their teamwork, the way they had collaborated on instinct when they fought Higan, the way they had been completely in sync in that time of need. Some part of him wanted to feel that again, wanted to be in tune with Licht again, even if it was just for the duration of a single volleyball match.  
  
It wasn't like he knew anything about volleyball, though. But that didn't matter. Licht was on the team, and Hyde had always been good at sports. How hard could it possibly be?  
  
\---  
  
Lunch break made a merry gathering. At first Mahiru had only invited Kuro to hang out with him, Sakuya, Ryuusei and Koyuki; then he had spotted Misono looking for a seat and motioned for him to join them; Misono had been followed by Lily, Lily had been followed by Hugh and Tetsu, and soon afterwards Hyde had spotted Kuro across the cafeteria and dragged Licht to their table too. Now here they were, crowded together, trying to eat lunch and talk at the same time.  
  
Of course there was only one thing on their minds. Ever since yesterday the sports festival was the only topic people were talking about, and this gathering was no exception; everyone wanted to know what everyone was signed up for, share their thoughts, and pump each other up.  
  
"...and everyone wanted Tetsu on their team," Hugh rambled on. He had been bragging about his friend for quite some time, and he didn't look likely to stop anytime soon. "They all knew he'd make a terrific addition indeed! He is tall, he has the ability–"  
  
"So what team did you end up joining?" Mahiru asked over Hugh, who looked none too happy at being interrupted.  
  
Tetsu slurped milk through a straw. "Basketball. What about you guys?"  
  
"Volleyball," Mahiru said with a smile. "With Koyuki, Ryuusei and Kuro."  
  
Hyde's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Big brother, you're in volleyball? Me too! I can't wait to beat you with Angel-chan!"  
  
"Shit rat! Don't pull me into this!"  
  
"What, you don't wanna win? I thought you'd be more ambitious!"  
  
"I don't wanna win. We're _gonna_ win!" Licht raised his head, glancing down at him with pride. "Because we have an angel on the team."  
  
Hyde burst out laughing, only to be kicked halfway across the cafeteria.  
  
"This is quite the coincidence," Hugh remarked, ignoring the pair of second-years fighting in the background. "I happen to be on the volleyball team too!"  
  
Misono almost choked on his tea. "You?" he spluttered, coughing. "Don't joke around, you bastard! You're tiny! I thought you had to be tall to play volleyball!"  
  
"I refuse to let a midget like you call me tiny!" Hugh shot back, leaping up to stand on his chair. "I agree that I may not be the tallest... however, I can jump!"  
  
The others smiled and nodded in much the same way people smile and nod when listening to a child talk about their imaginary friend.  
  
"It's true though," Tetsu remarked. "Hugh can jump super high."  
  
The others gaped at him in disbelief.  
  
Misono cleared his throat, embarrassed to be proven wrong. "By the way," he remarked in a voice that was oozing annoyance, "Watanuki. Why do _we_ have to work together?"  
  
"What's that?" Sakuya shot back. "I think I heard a voice from somewhere down there... Did you hear anything, Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru groaned and sighed. "Sakuya, Misono, cut it out already!"  
  
The two expertly ignored him. Misono glared up at Sakuya with the heated fury of a thousand suns. Sakuya returned the glare with a mocking look, sticking out his tongue and giving him the stink eye. "What?"  
  
Misono's glare intensified. "Why didn't you go and join the volleyball team with your darling best friends? The cheer squad does not need you. You'd be better off receiving a volleyball to the face."  
  
"Oh wow, look who's talking." Sakuya stood up, looming over Misono with an expression that was half mocking, half menacing and full of annoyance. "What are you doing, managing the cheer squad of all things? Do you even know what cheer is or did your books never tell you that?"  
  
Misono jumped to his feet, ready to retort something when Mahiru stepped in between them, keeping both of them at arm's length. "Guys, cut it out," he said sternly, giving both of them a look that allowed no opposition. "Cut it out. Stop! What are you guys, kindergarteners?" He sighed. "You'll just have to work together for this one festival. You can manage that much without fighting, right?"  
  
They both continued to glower at each other for a short moment before turning their heads away, shame flushing their faces bright red. Misono grumbled something about Watanuki dragging everyone down to his own childish level, and Sakuya just grimaced, rolling his eyes and sitting down.  
  
Mahiru shook his head at them. This definitely wasn't the last time he'd catch them picking a fight. As if he wouldn't already be busy enough trying to get Kuro to integrate into the team.  
  
Well, this sports festival certainly wouldn't be boring.  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya honestly had no idea why Tsubaki kept insisting on these weekly meetings. It wasn't like they didn't see each other at school every day anyway, and then there was also the group chat, although that one mostly consisted of Tsubaki and Berukia's terrible jokes that they thought they had to share with the world. There was no logical reason for all of them to keep meeting up, especially now that some of them were already on people's radar as troublemakers and rumor had it that Tsubaki had to do with Licht and Hyde's disappearance. If someone found out that Sakuya was hanging out with them... if _Mahiru_ found out...  
  
He stopped that train of thought before it left the station. _Don't consider it._ Mahiru trusted him. Even if his best friend did find out about him hanging out with these guys, he was sure he'd readily believe whatever excuse he told him. He could say something about being forced to meet with them, about being dragged here against his will, and Mahiru would believe it. Simply because he didn't think Sakuya was capable of of voluntarily hanging out with gang members, with troublemakers... with criminals.  
  
So here he was, sitting on the floor of Tsubaki's room with the others, trying not to worry about being caught while wishing to be anywhere but here, with this bunch of losers that were _his_ losers, sure, but an annoying bunch of losers.  
  
Especially a certain loser who threw a tantrum every time he even considered not coming here.  
  
Tsubaki was the only one sitting on the bed, legs dangling over the edge, smiling from ear to ear and in a visibly good mood. "It's so nice to see you all here again," he chimed. "It's been so long!"  
  
"A week, Tsubaki-san," Otogiri remarked, not looking up from her novel. "As always."  
  
"Too long!" Tsubaki insisted, jumping to his feet. "This should be celebrated... now where do I have the cookies? I swear I still had some..."  
  
He walked over to his desk, rummaging through the drawers, only to emerge with a somewhat puzzled look on his face. "Huh? Where are they? I must've eaten them all already! Ah ha ha ha!" He burst into a fit of laughter, laughing so hard he clutched his sides, then suddenly stopped as abruptly as he had started. "Boring. We need some more cookies! Sakuya...?"  
  
Sakuya sighed. _I saw this coming._ "No," he deadpanned, trying to ignore Tsubaki's pout.  
  
"Come on, Sakuya!" Tsubaki sat down in front of him, uncomfortably close, blinking up at him with puppy-dog eyes. "Pretty pleeeease?"  
  
Sakuya leaned backwards, trying to get some personal space back as a blush spread across his face. "Nope."  
  
"With sugar on top?"  
  
Sakuya averted his gaze, trying to ignore Tsubaki's pleading red eyes before they got to him and he caved like he always did. "Still no."  
  
He was half expecting Tsubaki to go into sulking mode again, but thankfully Otogiri got ahead of him, glancing up from her book. "I thought you wanted to see all of us, Tsubaki-san," she remarked, the hint of a smile crossing her face. "There's no point in sending Sakuya away again, especially since he's the one of us you see the least."  
  
Sakuya gave her a look that was part grateful, part confused. He still had no idea what exactly she was up to or why she'd helped him, to say nothing of her apparent investment in his relationship with Tsubaki, but the most important part was that she had saved him from another unnecessary errand, at least for the time being. He could always think about reasons later.  
  
And whatever her reasons were, it worked. Tsubaki's eyes widened as the realization crossed his face, and he nodded with understanding before shifting to sit next to Sakuya, squeezing into the narrow space between him and Lilac. "Otogiri, you're right!" he said in amazement. "Now that we're all here together, I shouldn't send everyone away! Right, Sakuya?" He gave his underclassman a smile. "We should exchange news instead! What are you all doing for the sports festival?"  
  
"Basketball!" Berukia exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Just like we agreeeeed! Right, Tsubakyun?"  
  
Tsubaki got up and gave his best friend a high five. "Right! We'll be fated rivals, won't we, Beru?"  
  
"Yes! We'll go aaaaaall out!"  
  
Sakuya spaced out as he watched Tsubaki and Berukia do a highly complicated not-so-secret handshake that nobody bothered to memorize except for the two of them. Tsubaki had tried to talk everyone into learning it once; Sakuya and Otogiri had flat-out refused, Lilac had given up after being shown it in all its glory once, and Shamrock had tried to memorize it over and over in an attempt to impress Tsubaki and failed miserably. It was how things were between them. Out of the whole group, Tsubaki was the only one who treasured and valued being with everyone, who insisted on seeing them all no matter how unwilling they were, who kept calling them his friends and his gang no matter how little they did for him, how little time they spent with him.  
  
That was probably the reason why he kept coming back, really. Tsubaki could never abandon anyone. Once he latched onto somebody, he never let them go, never forgot about them or abandoned them but treasured them as his precious friend, caring about them and wanting to spend time with them. Tsubaki might be fickle and overdramatic and a complete doofus at times, but he was also firmly, unwaveringly loyal. So loyal that one couldn't help but feel loyal towards him in return, so loyal that even Sakuya kept coming back, no matter how annoyed he got with Tsubaki's antics.  
  
"Sakuya? Sa-ku-ya!"  
  
Sakuya jumped as a hand waved in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie. Tsubaki had sat down next to him again, looking at him in confusion. "What about you?"  
  
"Me? Ah, uh..." It took Sakuya a moment to refocus and remember what Tsubaki was talking about. "Oh, yeah. I'm on the cheer squad."  
  
He half expected Tsubaki to look disappointed, but the third-year defied him. Instead, he looked excited, smiling from ear to ear. "Great! Make sure to cheer for us... right, Sakuya?"  
  
Sakuya rolled his eyes. "I can't cheer for you, you're not in my class."  
  
Tsubaki pouted. "Not even a little bit?"  
  
"No! I can't have people know I'm connected to you. We talked about this."  
  
Tsubaki looked disappointed, but for once he didn't sulk or complain. Sakuya felt a slight stab of guilt. For some reason seeing Tsubaki casually accept his words hurt more than seeing his dramatic overreactions. Sakuya knew he wasn't happy with these conditions; he knew how much he hated hiding any of his friendships or relationships with people, how much pride he took in every single companion and how he wanted to spend every free second with them. He knew rejecting Tsubaki like this was cruel to him. It must hurt, knowing one's own friend was too embarrassed of their friendship to admit they had anything to do with each other.  
  
Averting his eyes, he placed his hand next to Tsubaki's, their fingers touching. _I'm sorry, Tsubaki-san. It's not like I like hiding our friendship, but you have to understand. I have other people I love, people I can't afford to lose... people who'd definitely leave me if they found out I'm connected to you._  
  
He couldn't really say that, but he knew he didn't have to. Tsubaki knew. He knew, and that was why he'd agreed to their arrangement, no matter how unfair it was for him, the boy who had saved Sakuya's life.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he shifted, fully placing his hand on Tsubaki's, still avoiding eye contact. "Tsubaki-san?"  
  
Tsubaki looked up at him, a curious look on his face. "Yes?"  
  
He swallowed dryly, trying to ignore the heat creeping over his face. What he was about to say was embarrassing, so, so embarrassing... but he had to say it. He owed Tsubaki that much.  
  
"Next year..." He swallowed again. "After you graduate... come visit the sports festival next year. I'll be one of the players... and when I spot you in the crowd, I'll wave at you from the field." He dropped his gaze. "Deal?"  
  
Sakuya didn't have to look up to know everyone's eyes were on him. He could feel it, Berukia's wide-eyed surprise, Shamrock's icy glare, Lilac's shocked gape, Otogiri's half-amused, half-excited look as she watched the scene unfold, savoring every second. And then there was Tsubaki. Tsubaki, whose eyes he could feel resting on him the most. Tsubaki, whose eyes he didn't dare to meet.  
  
"Sakuya...!" Tsubaki managed to say, his voice full of wonder and surprise and... happiness? Was he happy?  
  
Peeking through his hair, he ventured a glance at the boy next to him, feeling his face heat up even more. Tsubaki's eyes were big and round with amazement, sparkling with joy, his face red enough to rival Sakuya's own. "Sakuya... are you serious?"  
  
Sakuya felt tempted to go back on his words. He could claim it had been a joke. He could say what he always said– "How much of that was a lie?"– and brush it off, laughing at the others for believing it. It would be cruel, yes, and it would probably break Tsubaki's heart, but it looked like the best possible option. Anything would be better than being caught saying these sappy words, unironically, and embarrassing himself and blushing like a complete idiot.  
  
He could go back. But he didn't. Lowering his head, hoping against hope that his bangs would obscure his face, that the others wouldn't be able to see his blush or expression anymore, that this awkward situation would become at least a little more bearable, he squeezed Tsubaki's hand, nodding. "Yes... I'm serious."  
  
Tsubaki didn't react for a long moment. Then he took Sakuya's hand in his own, small hands clutching it tightly, blushing and smiling more than ever, his eyes shining suspiciously. "Sakuya! I didn't think you cared so much!"  
  
"It's no big deal." Sakuya rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed at his friend's overreaction. "No need to get so dramatic."  
  
Tsubaki shook his head. "It is a big deal to me!" he insisted, letting go of Sakuya's hand to reach out towards him, extending his pinky finger. "Is it a promise, Sakuya? Do you promise?"  
  
Sakuya looked down at the extended hand. Memories crossed his mind, memories of the same hand, the same pinky finger reaching out to him, waiting for him to respond.  
  
Hooking his own pinky against Tsubaki's, he smiled. "Yeah. Promise."  
  
But that was for next year. For now, he'd have to make his way through this year's sports festival and the cheer squad.  
  
Why had he signed up for that one again?  
  
\---  
  
"Stop laughing already."  
  
Mikuni dodged the chopsticks flying towards his face, laughing even harder. He had been laughing all morning, ever since he had come back from skipping class for two days and discovered what he and his bodyguard had been signed up for. Now it was noon, and Jeje's patience was starting to wear very thin.  
  
"It's not funny," he growled, scrambling to pick up his chopsticks from the ground and wipe them with a tissue. "Stop laughing."  
  
"Oh Jeje!" Mikuni wiped a few tears of laughter from his eyes. "How can you say that! This is hilarious! This is the funniest thing I've heard all month!"  
  
Suppressing a giggle, he gave his bodyguard a hearty pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Jeje. You'll make a fantastic goalkeeper, I'm su–" He snorted again, and the next moment he was back on his desk, laughing.  
  
Jeje gave up. Rolling his eyes underneath his paper bags, he stood up, taking his half-finished lunch with him, and walked towards the classroom door. There was no way he could stay here any longer without trying to murder Mikuni for real.  
  
He'd make a terrible goalkeeper. No matter what Mikuni said, seriously or not, Jeje knew that for a fact. He wasn't cut out for ball sports, and he definitely wasn't cut out for playing with a team, interacting with people, fitting into a group, the whole ordeal. Human interaction stressed him out like nothing else. The mere thought of an entire team of his classmates trying to talk to him, the rest of the class cheering from the stands, the whole school watching felt like a nightmare. Mikuni's neverending laughter was only adding insult to injury. Especially since Mikuni got lucky and had been signed up for an easy, comfortable job organizing the whole ordeal.  
  
Why him, anyway? Jeje wasn't a team player. He hated speaking to anyone except Mikuni and maybe some of the former Servamps, and if he was honest with himself he hated talking to Mikuni too, just a little less than talking to the rest of the world. Had they just signed him up because he was tall and good at sports? Had they not found anyone else? His classmates were idiots.  
  
Well, now the damage was done. It couldn't be helped. Hate it as he may, he'd do his best for the festival. His teammates were relying on him after all, and it wasn't their fault he hated being with people.  
  
Mikuni, though... Mikuni should really stop laughing. It wasn't funny. It had never been funny to begin with, and if he wasn't his classmate and bodyguard, Jeje would have dumped him and left long ago.  
  
The sound of hurried footsteps snapped him out of his thoughts. He glanced up, only to nearly bump into Tsurugi running down the hallway, clutching a juice box in his hands like a trophy.  
  
For a moment the student council president looked disoriented, then his face lit up. "Jeje!" he whispered, smiling a feline-looking smile. "Quick, let me go through! You haven't seen me, okay?"  
  
Jeje gave him a confused look, suspicion dark in his eyes, although Tsurugi probably couldn't see it under the paper bags. "Why...?"  
  
Tsurugi opened his mouth to reply when an all-too-familiar voice boomed down the hallway. " _Tsurugi!_ "  
  
He yelped and laughed, hurrying past Jeje and darting into the nearest classroom. The same one Jeje had just left... the one Mikuni was still in.  
  
Jeje forced off the feeling of annoyance and dread creeping up on him. Mikuni and Tsurugi in the same room? That was just asking for trouble. Someone would have to watch them and make sure nobody got murdered. And right now there was only one person around who could possibly do the job.  
  
Himself.  
  
Shaking his head, Jeje started running and followed Tsurugi into the classroom. _Bodyguard... don't make me laugh. I'm more of a babysitter._  
  
He rushed through the door a split second after the student council president, shutting the door behind them as Tsurugi dove to hide behind the teacher's desk, putting a finger to his lips and laughing quietly.  
  
Mikuni looked from Jeje to the desk and back to Jeje, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Tsurugi giggled behind the desk, motioning for Jeje to keep quiet. Jeje closed his eyes and just wanted to go home. Neither of these idiots was aware of the other's presence, and he really didn't want to be around when they noticed what was going on.  
  
"Leave," he said quietly, taking a menacing step towards the desk. "Get out. Now."  
  
Tsurugi shook his head. Mikuni frowned in confusion. "Uh, Jeje...?" he asked, his tone worried. "Who are you talking to? That's just a desk, you know... it's not alive!"  
  
"Says the guy who treats his doll like a human," Jeje mumbled under his breath.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Mikuni gave a half-knowing grin and stood up, taking a step towards the desk in his turn. "Who's there?"  
  
"No one," Tsurugi replied, smirking. "Nobody here but us notebooks! You wouldn't touch the teacher's notebooks, would you, Kuni-chan?"  
  
" _Tsurugi-san?_ "  
  
"Aw, busted." Tsurugi scrambled up, poking his head over the edge of the desk. "Shh! I don't have time for your childishness right now, I'm hiding from Yumi-chan!"  
  
Mikuni's smirk turned to an angry grimace that was only a grin in name. "And you come to hide in _my_ classroom of all places?"  
  
Tsurugi sighed. "I should have known it was yours. I thought I smelled something funny."  
  
"And I think I smell you getting kicked out."  
  
"Kuni-chan, so cruel!" Tsurugi gave a mocking gasp. "You'll throw me to the wrath of Yumi-chan?"  
  
"I never said I'd kick you out the door."  
  
"Nice as always, are we?" Tsurugi sighed like an adult tired of watching a child. "I can't believe you're my vice-president. We never agree on anything... don't you think we should call it a truce every once in a while?"  
  
Mikuni blinked, taken aback, and even Jeje felt stunned. Tsurugi had actually sounded serious for once. "A truce?"  
  
"Yes! How about since we have to manage this silly sports festival together, we stop fighting and work together? Just until the festival. We can go back to trying to kill each other later."  
  
Mikuni frowned, brow furrowed in consideration. Tsurugi still looked genuine enough, and his offer, unexpected as it was, made sense. From a purely rational point of view, it was definitely the best choice for them to work together instead of trying to annoy and sabotage each other, and the two of them were selfish enough to actually pull it off. Hopefully. Maybe. To be honest Jeje doubted they'd manage to go through the next weeks without passive-aggressively trying to ruin each other's lives, but just for the sake of his own peace he was hoping for the best.  
  
"Al...right," Mikuni said slowly, warily. "It's a temporary ceasefire, Tsurugi-san. Until the festival."  
  
"Yay!" Tsurugi beamed. "Now I can make you do all the work and boss you around all I want, right, Kuni-chan?"  
  
" _Rot in hell._ "  
  
Tsurugi was about to retort something when there was a loud boom against the door. "Tsurugi, you bastard!" Yumikage yelled from outside. "Where the fuck are you? Give me my juice back, asshole!"  
  
For half a second Mikuni looked tempted to give Tsurugi away. Then he grimaced, motioned for him to hide under the desk, and opened the door, smiling. "Yumikage, leave the door whole. Do you really think he'd hide with me of all people?"


	20. Fears and Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But he couldn't stay like that, panicking by himself.

Kuro couldn't sleep.  
  
It was weird, considering he could sleep pretty much anywhere, anytime. He'd never really had trouble sleeping; his main problem had always been getting up. But not tonight. Tonight he lay awake, hoping for his nerves to calm down, wishing his heart would stop pounding at a mile a minute and his hands would stop shaking.  
  
Tomorrow they'd start practicing for the sports festival. Tomorrow he'd have to get together with the team for the first time, get along with them, play with them. Try not to fail or humiliate himself or disappoint anyone. And he was nervous. So, so nervous.  
  
 _Calm down,_ he tried to tell himself. _At least Mahiru's with you._ But this time it didn't help. It only made him feel worse. He knew Mahiru wanted him to take this chance and start getting along with the others; he knew how many hopes Mahiru was putting in him, hopes he was destined to disappoint. There was no way he could suddenly start being friendly with people who didn't even welcome him in the first place. And why should they? He was quiet. He was awkward. He had a scary reputation, and not for no reason. If he was in their place, he wouldn't welcome himself either.  
  
What would they do if he tried to talk to them? Would they at least try to be nice? Maybe Mahiru was right and they might all end up getting along, even if it was just to please him?  
  
He shook his head. It wouldn't come that far. There was no way Kuro could start a conversation with them. The mere thought already made his chest tighten, all thoughts of possible conversation starters blanking out in his head. At this point he wasn't even sure if he could reply to them if they asked him something.  
  
Kuro rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. Why had Mahiru signed him up for this? Shouldn't he know that there was no way Kuro might ever get along with people who weren't him? The school festival had nearly ended in disaster. It would have turned into a full-on catastrophe if Mahiru hadn't intervened.  
  
He should tell him. He should tell Mahiru he couldn't do this. He should tell him he was afraid, dreading this like he dreaded nothing else, that every part of him was screaming to run and hide before anyone could drag him to practice tomorrow.  
  
No... he couldn't do that, could he? No matter what he did, he could never bring himself to disappoint Mahiru. Mahiru, who believed in him despite everything... who somehow had faith in him when nobody else had... he couldn't bear the thought of losing that single bit of trust, the most he'd ever received from anyone.  
  
 _Mahiru wouldn't want you to do anything that makes you feel bad,_ he interrupted himself. _You won't lose his trust if you tell him how you feel. Mahiru's nice. He'll understand._  
  
But still...  
  
Rolling over, he reached for his phone lying on the nightstand. Maybe if he texted Mahiru about it, that would be enough to make him feel better. If Mahiru was awake, maybe he'd have some advice to offer. And if he wasn't... well, Kuro could worry about what to tell him tomorrow. But he couldn't stay like that, panicking by himself.  
  
His finger hovered over the keyboard, wondering what to say. Should he just get to the point? No, he should probably check if Mahiru was awake first. Just to be sure. Not because he was afraid of telling him what was up... okay, who was he kidding, he was afraid. Afraid and ashamed. But less afraid than the thought of playing on a team made him.  
  
 _u up_  
  
Kuro wondered if he should have added a question mark to his text before sending when the reply appeared on his screen. _Yeah, I'm awake,_ Mahiru had written. _What's wrong? You never text me first._  
  
Kuro hesitated. As usual, Mahiru had seen right through him. He'd created a perfect opening for him to say what he wanted to say. But... but why was it still so hard? Why couldn't he put it into words?  
  
 _y u even up @ this time u should b sleepin_  
  
Kuro cringed at himself. Here he was again, beating around the bush, avoiding the topic instead of addressing what was wrong, making himself even more anxious again. He should get it over with already... but he couldn't do it. Not when Mahiru was so kind to him, so trusting. If he lost that...  
  
The reply took a little longer, but eventually Mahiru's text appeared on the screen, bright and glowing, as if his personality itself was being transported through the phone. _I just got kinda busy with homework and paperwork and lost track of time..._  
  
A series of new texts flashed up on his screen, one after the other. _What about you? Why are you still up?_  
  
 _Can't sleep?_  
  
 _Do you wanna talk?_  
  
Kuro hesitated again. What should he say? Mahiru was offering to talk... he didn't have to do that! Kuro wasn't even sure he could face him right now. But at the same time, he wanted to see him. Hear his voice. He didn't want to be alone right now.  
  
Unsure of what to reply, he hovered his finger over the keyboard. Should he say yes? Should he say no? Should he just explain what was bothering him without replying to Mahiru's question at all?  
  
Before he could make up his mind, another text flashed up on the screen. _I'm coming over._  
  
Kuro nearly dropped his phone. No! He didn't want Mahiru doing that... getting up again in the middle of the night, just to talk to him when he should be resting. He didn't want him to do all that just because Kuro couldn't keep calm about having to play on a team, because he was a chicken with no social skills who couldn't even tell his best and only friend what was up when the latter asked. No, he couldn't face him right now. He was too guilty, too ashamed to look into those eyes that put so much hope in him, afraid of the way they'd look like when he told Mahiru what was bothering him.  
  
But... having Mahiru around... hearing his voice...  
  
No. No! He couldn't give in. Hurrying, he frantically typed in another message, hoping and praying it would still send in time. _no u dont gotta. stay in ur room_  
  
Mahiru's reply was immediate. _Too late! I'm almost there._  
  
Great, great, great, just great. What had he done?  
  
After what felt like a mere heartbeat, there was a soft knock on the door, and Mahiru's muffled voice reached him through his worry and panic. "Kuro, it's me! Are you okay? Can I come in?"  
  
Kuro curled up into a ball and said nothing. Hearing Mahiru's voice felt so good... but at the same time he felt guilty. Guilty for cutting into Mahiru's well-deserved rest, guilty for making him worry enough to come over here in the middle of the night.  
  
The door opened, soft footsteps approached the bed, and a moment later Mahiru sat down next to Kuro, placing a warm hand on his back. "Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?"  
  
Kuro recoiled, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away from the touch, the quiet, gentle reassurance that Mahiru was there, right next to him, by his side. "Mahiru... I'm sorry."  
  
"Sorry?" Mahiru sounded confused, but his voice was still warm, compassionate. "What for?"  
  
Kuro swallowed. Now or never. He had to tell Mahiru now, no matter what happened. He couldn't just keep hiding the reason for his fear and worry after making his friend come over in the dead of night.  
  
"I... don't think I can play with the others tomorrow," he confessed, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I'm not good with people. I'm not gonna fit in or get them to like me. Being on a team with people who already hate me..." He paused, taking a deep breath. "It's scary. It's too big for me. I can't do this."  
  
Mahiru paused for a moment, then he gave a quiet sigh. "Is that what's been keeping you up?"  
  
Kuro nodded.  
  
 _There, now I've done it._ Mahiru had to be disappointed in him now. Truthfully he was disappointed in himself too, disappointed for being such an awkward, antisocial coward who couldn't even live up to his only friend's expectations. He couldn't possibly face Mahiru now. He dreaded seeing his expression. Was he upset? Was he mad? Was he just giving him that look of exhaustion and a little sadness he always made when someone was totally hopeless?  
  
The hand on Kuro's back disappeared. Then an arm wrapped itself around Kuro's shoulders, pulling him closer to Mahiru's side, holding him tightly.  
  
Kuro let out a soft gasp. What was happening? Wasn't Mahiru supposed to be mad or upset now? What was he doing? Was Mahiru... hugging him?  
  
Slowly, hesitantly, he raised his head and risked a glance at his friend's face. "Ma...hiru...?"  
  
Mahiru didn't look annoyed or upset or disappointed at all. He just looked sad somehow, moved... compassionate. He looked unhappy, but the only thing clouding his face was worry, and his eyes were warm and full of kindness and affection. "Kuro..." he said softly, squeezing his friend's shoulder. "Thanks for telling me. If you'd kept yourself up all night worrying about this..." He cracked a slight smile. "I would've been pretty mad at you, you know."  
  
Kuro gazed at him, incredulous. Not only was Mahiru not mad for him texting him over such an insignificant problem at this hour, he was _glad_. Happy. Mahiru was glad Kuro had told him instead of suffering by himself... he was glad to share Kuro's pain.  
  
Something shot through Kuro's chest, knocking the air out of him, making him unable to breathe. It was an emotion, a warm, shaky feeling of joy and gratitude and excitement, a tug at his heartstrings that nearly sent tears to his eyes, a wave of happiness and adoration and a thousand things he couldn't name washing over him, flooding him, nearly making him drown. He was so glad to have found Mahiru. He was so glad to be with him, to be with this warm, kind, incredible human being who was so much more than he deserved and thought nothing of it. So, so glad.  
  
Flushing, he buried his face in his knees again, basking in his friend's warmth for a little longer. Mahiru's arm around his shoulders felt so good, so comforting in the cold, dark emptiness of the room. If he could have his will, he'd never want that arm to let go of him again.  
  
Mahiru stroked his thumb over Kuro's shoulder, rubbing small comforting circles as he spoke up again. "But you know, Kuro," he whispered, "you don't have to worry that much. I know you have no confidence and a bad reputation, but you should really believe in yourself more. You have a lot of qualities that can make people like you if you just show them more."  
  
Kuro lowered his head, further burying it in his knees, unable to believe a single one of Mahiru's words. "Like what?"  
  
"You're kind." Mahiru's answer was so quick, so confident, so matter-of-fact that Kuro couldn't help blinking in surprise. "You say you're too lazy to do stuff and don't care, but in the end you always help everyone who needs it. You're selfless... and caring. You're always trying to make people think you're not, but I know. I know you hate fighting or hurting people. I know you wanna protect the ones you care about. You're great with kids, you got a sense of humor. You're lazy, but when it matters you always try your best. Remember the school festival?" He ruffled Kuro's hair. "You're a good person, Kuro. It's about time for you to accept that too."  
  
Kuro closed his eyes, his chest tight with emotion. He couldn't speak. Mahiru's words were too much for him to handle, too much warmth and kindness and undeserved honesty. He couldn't believe Mahiru thought that highly of him, _the_ Shirota Mahiru, the nicest, most hardworking boy he'd ever met. How could someone like him think of Kuro as a good person? It didn't seem right. And yet... and yet, Mahiru's words had been so straightforward, so very honest that Kuro couldn't bring himself to doubt the sincerity in them.  
  
"Mahiru..." he whispered, his voice almost cracking. "Really?"  
  
"Really." Mahiru laughed. "You think I'd have stuck around if I didn't mean every word of what I just said?"  
  
Kuro wanted to say something, but no words came out. A lump caught in his throat, threatening to choke him as tears stung the corners of his eyes. _A good person._ In all his life, as far as he could remember, no one had ever called him that. And here Mahiru was, casually telling him the words he hadn't known he'd always hoped to hear.  
  
Mahiru's warm hand returned to Kuro's shoulder, tugging him closer once more. "Don't worry so much," he said gently. "Wait till tomorrow, and if you still think you can't play on the team at all, we'll find a new player and get you some other job to do. But at least try if you can, okay? I promise they won't hate you once they get to know you, just try acting the way you act around me. And I'm here too." He paused. "This is probably a bit selfish, but... at least try it for me, okay? Because I really wanna play together with you."  
  
He was right.  
  
Kuro couldn't explain how or why, but Mahiru was right. He'd be there too. If Kuro stayed on the team, they'd be playing together. This wasn't like the school festival; if anything went wrong, Mahiru would be right there to help him out. If the others hated him, at least Mahiru would be there, and he wouldn't be alone. If he signed up for some other group now, he'd be all by himself, and there was no telling if he'd be any more welcome there.  
  
He was still worried. He was still afraid of tomorrow. But it wasn't that bad anymore. He knew he wasn't alone. No matter what happened, no matter how much went wrong, Mahiru would be by his side. And that really made it all a million times less scary.  
  
"Okay," he mumbled, so quietly that he wasn't sure if Mahiru could hear him. "I'll try."  
  
He didn't have to look up to know Mahiru's face lit up with a warm, dazzling, relieved smile.  
  
"That's great," he said, turning to try and look at Kuro's face, even though it was still hidden behind his knees. "Feel better now? Wanna sleep?"  
  
Kuro nodded hesitantly, although he didn't like the thought of Mahiru leaving him alone. He wanted his friend to stay here, by his side... just a little longer.  
  
"Okay." Letting go of Kuro's shoulders, Mahiru got up and yawned. "I'm gonna call it a night too, but if you need anything..."  
  
 _No. Don't leave._  
  
Without thinking or looking up, Kuro reached out, catching Mahiru's wrist. His face heated up, embarrassed and flustered by his own boldness, but he didn't let go. He should say something, he knew he should, but no words came out. He just held onto Mahiru's wrist like a lifeline, desperate, unable to let go, unable to explain himself but hoping his friend would understand.  
  
Mahiru stopped moving, then he shifted back towards Kuro, surprise trembling in his quiet voice. "Kuro...?"  
  
Kuro clutched his wrist tighter, his face burning. "Mahiru..." he whispered. "A little longer. Please."  
  
Mahiru paused, stunned. Then he gave a quiet laugh, took a step forward and placed his free hand on Kuro's head. "What are you, a kid?" he asked, but there was no bite to his words, not even annoyance. "Well, it's okay. I'm still staying. You go to sleep, I'll be right here."  
  
Kuro raised his head, meeting Mahiru's brown eyes, and choked on his own breath. Mahiru looked so tired, but he wasn't even protesting. He was going along with Kuro's whim and staying by his side, just because he'd asked him to. Part of him felt guilty about robbing his best friend of his well-earned sleep, but the other part was too grateful to care. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with Mahiru, and Mahiru was kind and selfless enough to understand and stay by his side.  
  
The tiniest hint of a smile crossed his face, just for the tiny fragment of a second. Loosening his grip on Mahiru's wrist, he let his hand slide down, clutching his friend's hand and giving it a grateful squeeze before he curled up on the bed, pulling the blanket up to his nose, still holding Mahiru's hand. Mahiru looked down at him and smiled.  
  
"Good night, Kuro."  
  
"Night, Mahiru."  
  
Feeling safe and protected and perfectly at ease, Kuro closed his eyes and drifted off into a pleasant dream.  
  
\---  
  
It was early in the morning, but Misono was already up, making his way down the school yard. He had always been an early bird after all, and he actually rather liked these early mornings, where no one but him was awake and he had the whole world to himself, only sharing it with the birds and the crickets and the early rays of the morning sun. Nobody there to bother him, nobody there to disturb him in his precious minutes of peace before the noisy rest of the world woke up.  
  
Of course, even he wasn't always at school at this hour; but today was an exception. Today he had some organizational committee work to do for the festival, work that he would have done yesterday evening if he hadn't been distracted and delayed and fallen asleep at ten in the evening, sharp, as usual. His house wasn't exactly the ideal place if he wanted to work in peace, anyway, and so he'd decided to arrive at school early and get it done there.  
  
Well, that had been that. Now he was done, and he still had half an eternity before classes started.  
  
Misono kept walking, with no idea where his feet were carrying him. He didn't really care where he was going, simply taking delight in the fresh morning breeze as he went, quietly humming a tune that had randomly come into his head. Adding a slight skip to his step, he turned around a corner–  
  
–and walked face-first into something big.  
  
"Oh, senpai?"  
  
Misono jumped five feet back, stuttering and blushing. Standing in front of him was Sendagaya Tetsu, of all people, a basketball in his hands and a surprised look on his face. "Wha-?!" he burst out, pointing an accusing finger at his underclassman. "S-Sendagaya! Don't startle me like that, you bastard! How long have you been here?"  
  
"Uh, just arrived." Sendagaya fumbled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry I startled you."  
  
Misono huffed. "You better be!" _And you'd better not have seen me humming and skipping,_ he added in his head. If he had, Misono was pretty sure he'd die of mortification on the spot.  
  
"So," he asked, trying to sound cool and mature while casually changing the topic, "what are you doing here so early in the morning?"  
  
Sendagaya shrugged, idly spinning the basketball on the tip of his finger while Misono tried to follow the motion with his eyes and quickly gave up. "Woke up kinda wanting to practice basketball," he said, gazing at the ball. "Today's the team's first practice and I haven't really played in a while, so... yeah. What about you?"  
  
"I came here to finish organizing some things for the festival." Misono gestured to his bag. "My house isn't really the ideal place if you want to focus on something."  
  
Sendagaya blinked, surprised. "Your house? You don't live at the dorm?"  
  
"No. We live nearby... Lily and I."  
  
"Mm."  
  
There was a long silence. Sendagaya kept spinning the ball. Misono fidgeted awkwardly. What was he supposed to do now? He'd never been good at starting conversations or keeping them up. He never really spoke to people unless he wanted something from them. What did he want from Sendagaya? He couldn't think of anything. His common sense was telling him he should probably go before things got too awkward... but he didn't want to. For some reason he wanted to stay, keep talking to his underclassman, about no matter what. Something... anything.  
  
 _Say something, idiot!_  
  
He took a deep breath, and then he and Sendagaya spoke up at the same time.  
  
"I should probably–"  
  
"Well, I'm gonna–"  
  
They both interrupted themselves, looking at each other, then looking away, fumbling.  
  
"You go first."  
  
"No, you go first."  
  
"But you–"  
  
"Sendagaya, you go first. I insist."  
  
"O-Okay." Sendagaya stopped spinning the ball, catching it in both hands. "I was just gonna say I'm heading to the basketball court behind the gym to get some playing done... If you're not busy, wanna play with me?"  
  
Misono shuddered, past humiliations in gym class crossing his mind like war flashbacks. "I'd rather not."  
  
"O...kay." For a split second Sendagaya almost looked disappointed, but he quickly perked up again. "Wanna come with me though? Watch me... or something?"  
  
Was Sendagaya seriously inviting him along?  
  
Misono blushed, confused. Why on earth was he inviting him along? Misono would only be standing around. He didn't know the first thing about basketball; he wouldn't be able to give him any feedback or make any comments at all. He'd just stand by and watch in silence... so why? What was the point? Did Sendagaya just want someone to keep him company?  
  
Did Sendagaya want _him_ to keep him company?  
  
He shut that train of thought down, his face heating up. No, no, no, no, no. Sendagaya wasn't asking this just because it was him. He would have asked anyone else the same if they'd been here instead of him. There was no need to get all happy about it– wait, why was he even happy? Sendagaya was just inviting him to tag along, it didn't mean anything! Friends did that all the time... right?  
  
"F...fine," he mumbled in the general direction of the tree behind Sendagaya. "Since I'm not busy for the time being, might as well go along. But I'll have you know I'm not an expert on basketball."  
  
"That's fine." Sendagaya wasn't looking at him either. "I wasn't really looking for feedback or anything, just..."  
  
"...Alright then."  
  
Fidgeting, they started walking towards the basketball court, their cheeks tinted pink, their eyes nervously avoiding each other, only to try and sneak glances when the other wasn't looking. Not watching where they were going, they walked a little too close together, and before they knew what they were doing their fingers brushed. Startled, they leaped apart, pulling away their hands like they'd been burned, faces glowing red as they stammered apologies. Neither of them spoke much, each too occupied with his own thoughts, wondering why his heart was beating so fast, why his stomach was stirring with butterflies and a fuzzy warm feeling.  
  
This was strange. This was awkward. But... not necessarily in a bad way.  
  
The way to the basketball court had never felt this long, but as soon as they arrived it seemed too short somehow, like they'd come here at lightning speed. Neither of them could remember much of the way. They just stood there, in the middle of the court, confused as to how they'd found themselves here in the first place.  
  
"Well," Misono finally said, trying to break the silence between them, "we're here, so go ahead and play. You didn't bring me here to stand around."  
  
Sendagaya blinked and nodded, as if snapping out of a trance. Spinning the ball on his finger again, he tossed it up in the air, caught it and started playing, practicing drives and shots and dunks and dozens of other moves Misono didn't know the name of.  
  
He was good, he realized. Sendagaya was amazingly good. Even he could see that, and he didn't know the first thing about basketball, or sports in general. If he was this good after not playing in a while... once he got back into it he'd become invincible.  
  
He truly was incredible.  
  
Misono watched his movements in a daze, barely breathing, forcing himself not to blink, trying to miss as little of his underclassman's performance as possible. Sendagaya looked so different from his usual self. This was nothing like the quiet, calm boy he'd come to know. This was someone else, a lightning bolt, a hurricane, an unexplainable force of nature. Each and every one of his moves was radiating raw, untamed energy, like a wild beast moving entirely on instinct.  
  
 _Dangerous._ The word entered Misono's mind before he could stop it, and he shuddered. This Sendagaya was dangerous, a force to be reckoned with. And he couldn't look away.  
  
"...Senpai?"  
  
Misono jolted, snapping out of his trance. Sendagaya was standing next to him, breathing hard, the basketball rolling across the court. Had he said something? What was going on?  
  
"W-What..." Oh damn, he'd been caught staring, hadn't he? Misono blushed furiously, his heart skipping a beat. _Calm down,_ he told himself, in vain. _Act calm. Act normal._ "Did you say anything, bastard?"  
  
"Oh, just..." Sendagaya was blushing too... or were his cheeks just reddened from the exercise and heat? "What do you think?"  
  
"I told you I'm no expert at basketball." Misono paused, hesitating. Part of him wanted to back out now, leave it at this statement and not say anything else, but... for some reason he didn't want that. This time he wanted to be honest. Not fully honest, of course, but Sendagaya deserved some praise. Not telling him how good he was would be unfair.  
  
"I'm no expert," he said again, feeling his face heat up, his gaze hurrying away from Sendagaya's blue eyes, "but... from what I have seen, you're... very good."  
  
"...Really?"  
  
Misono blushed harder. Wait, what had he just said? He'd meant to say Sendagaya wasn't half bad! Why on earth had he called him good? Very good, even? Openly? To his face? What on earth was wrong with him?  
  
"I meant," he stammered, gesturing wildly and blushing, "I meant..."  
  
"Thanks, senpai."  
  
Misono looked up, meeting Sendagaya's gaze. His underclassman was blushing too, the tiniest of smiles gracing his features as his eyes lit up with surprise and joy. He looked younger now, not like the adult people would always mistake him for, but like the sixteen-year-old boy he actually was, little more than a child, naïve and vulnerable. It took all Misono had not to smile back. This side of Sendagaya was... It was...  
  
 _...cute?_  
  
No, no, no. That wasn't right. Sendagaya looked like a college student and was a giant as tall as Lily. He wasn't cute. Little children were cute, or small fluffy animals, but Sendagaya Tetsu? Never!  
  
"You're welcome," Misono declared with a confidence he didn't feel. "You should be glad I'm in a generous mood today. If you want to defeat the team from my class, you'll need to practice harder!"  
  
"Sure, thanks." Sendagaya paused for a moment, as if debating something with himself, then he spoke up again. "Senpai?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Do you, um... Will you watch me play?"  
  
Misono froze, his heart skipping a beat. "Wha–?!"  
  
"I mean, you don't gotta, but..." Tetsu rubbed the back of his neck. "It'd be kinda cool... seeing you in the crowd, y'know?"  
  
What was this feeling?  
  
Why was Misono's heartbeat thumping in his chest? Why was his head spinning? Why was a swarm of butterflies doing somersaults in his stomach? And why was he so confusingly, inexplicably happy?  
  
"Very well," he said, hoping to sound calm and reasonable and not like the giddy mess he felt like, but knowing he was failing. "When I have time, I guess it won't hurt to watch you play."  
  
\---  
  
Had volleyball always been this hard?  
  
Practice had only gone on for half an hour, and Hyde was already at his limit. He was failing miserably. He couldn't serve over the net, he couldn't hit the ball when he tried to spike, to say nothing of receiving. On the few occasions when he did hit the ball on accident, it went out, straight into the net, or wound up hitting one of his teammates in the face. Well, at least Licht's nose had stopped bleeding again by now.  
  
What was he doing wrong? It wasn't like he was weak or clumsy or bad at sports or had poor reflexes! Was it just because he hadn't played this game in ages? Was it because he lacked practice? But then what were the others doing right that he wasn't?  
  
"Hey, shit rat! Slacking off already?"  
  
Hyde dodged the volleyball flying towards his face, turning to pout at Licht instead. "Geez, Lichtan!" he burst out. "Don't throw the ball at your teammates, that's dangerous! What if you'd knocked me out?"  
  
" _You_ almost knocked _me_ out, moron! This is divine retribution!"  
  
"If you're such a divine Angel-chan, why don't you try telling me what I'm doing wrong!"  
  
"You just suck, shit rat!"  
  
"I know, geez! And we're all gonna lose in the first round unless you teach me how to _not_ suck!"  
  
Licht stared at him in consideration, pondering his words. Then he walked across the court to retrieve the ball, tossing it up in the air, catching it again, and throwing it at Hyde, who caught it immediately.  
  
"Try to serve," he said.  
  
Hyde threw the ball above his head, jumped and hit it– only to slam it right into the net. Turning to Licht, he made a frustrated gesture. "See? That's exactly what I mean!"  
  
Licht continued to stare at him, head tilted to the side, a thoughtful frown on his face. "You're not hitting it up," he said, imitating the move with his hands. "You're slamming it down. Like a spike."  
  
"Hit it up, huh." Hyde tossed the ball up, jumped and hit it again. It flew smack into the net.  
  
...Again.  
  
He tried again and again. To no avail.  
  
Hyde groaned in frustration, storming off to retrieve the ball while his teammates snickered. Just great. He had no clue what he was doing wrong, Licht's explanations were no help whatsoever, and now the others were laughing at him too. What was the problem? Why couldn't he just find the magic trick everybody else seemed to know?  
  
"You guys keep on playing," he said with a pout, stomping off the court as he threw the ball over his shoulder. "Maybe if I watch you for a while, I'll find out what I'm doing wrong."  
  
They nodded. Well, almost everyone nodded... except for Licht.  
  
"Giving up already, shit rat?" Grabbing hold of the ball, he stomped after Hyde, catching hold of his shoulder and stopping him in his tracks, planting his feet right in front of him. "Like hell I'm gonna let you slack off!"  
  
"I'm not slacking off!" Hyde shot back, really not feeling in the mood to argue with Licht right now. "Just let me watch and I'll find out what the problem is! Please, Lichtan!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Wha–"  
  
Licht lifted up the ball and tapped it against Hyde's forehead, hard. "If you don't know how to do it, I'll teach you." He scowled. "I am an angel. I'll turn you into an angelic volleyball player too! Let's win the tournament!"  
  
Hyde couldn't help catching his breath. He didn't know what he was thinking, he didn't know what was wrong with him, but... somehow Licht looked and sounded really cool. Even if Hyde was still annoyed with him. Even if he was still tired and frustrated with himself and everything and ready to give up. Somehow, in a weird, unexplainable way, Licht had given him a little hope.  
  
 _Just like back then, huh._  
  
The memory of their imprisonment, their grand escape flickered through his mind. Back then things had looked even more hopeless, not just for him but for both of them. And yet Licht had managed to motivate him, give him courage and strength and the determination to keep fighting and win. Back then he'd been bitter, deeply cynical, blaming Ophelia's death on the world rather than accepting that he was to blame. And yet Licht had snapped him out of it, giving him new hope, rekindling his willpower for the first time in years.  
  
Why was Licht always the one to motivate him? Why was he so good at this?  
  
Hyde didn't know, and honestly he didn't care. He could think about that later. Right now he just wanted to get up and try again, do his best for himself and Licht and the team. He wanted to win. He wanted to take the title with these guys.  
  
Grinning, he took the volleyball from Licht's hands, tossing it up in the air and catching it again. "Bring it on, Lichtan!"  
  
Licht smirked back. Hyde could feel an army of butterflies stirring in his stomach. Damn, that smirk got him every time.  
  
 _So cool!_  
  
A guy just waiting to be trusted. Fierce, single-minded, stupid, reliable. That was the kind of person Licht Jekylland Todoroki was. And Hyde was ready to put all his trust in him. He was sure he could make it.  
  
So he tried. He tried over and over and over again, following Licht's instructions, listening to his explanations, doing as he was told, getting back up when he failed, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth and trying again. He tried everything, from serves to spikes and tosses and receives, trying to imitate Licht's easy motions, smacking the ball wherever, jumping into the net, collapsing on the ground, panting in exhaustion.  
  
It was so hard. It was exhausting. It was frustrating. But Hyde wasn't willing to give up, not yet. He could still try once more, even if his legs were shaking and his arms felt like lead. He... could...  
  
Damn it.  
  
Twenty minutes passed, half an hour, then an hour. But he wasn't showing any progress. He wasn't getting better. He was already doing everything humanly possible, listening to Licht's every word, working till he couldn't stand anymore... but...  
  
Nothing came of it. He wasn't improving at all.  
  
Was he really that hopeless? Would he be stuck failing like this at the tournament too? Wasn't there still a chance for him to make it after all? What else could he do?  
  
Groaning in frustration, he collapsed on the bench, closing his eyes for a moment. He was tired, so, so tired. And exhausted. And spent. He felt like he'd been going through hell since the beginning of practice, and it didn't look like that was going to change anytime soon. Were the others doing better? Were they struggling as much as he was? Were they fitting in with their teams?  
  
 _Fitting in, huh._ He opened his eyes again, letting his gaze stray over the court. _I wonder how big brother is doing._


	21. Preparing the Unprepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If they all just managed to keep going like this until the tournament was over, he'd be grateful forever.

_I'm not scared. They're just my classmates. Mahiru's here too. I'm not alone. I'm not scared._  
  
Maybe if Kuro told himself that often enough, he'd eventually wind up believing it too.  
  
Practice was about to start, and Kuro was a nervous wreck. He had no idea what had possessed him last night that had made him come here despite all his fears, but right now he was cursing himself for it, regretting every second that had led up to this very point. He wanted to leave. He wanted to turn a one-eighty and run out of here and hide in a place where he could never be found, covering his eyes and ears from everything until the sports festival was over.  
  
But he couldn't do that now. It was too late; he was here, lined up with all the others, and there was no going back. The only good part was that Mahiru was next to him, smiling his most encouraging smile, but even that faded in the face of all the hostile eyes on him, glaring at his back when they thought he didn't notice. And he wanted to leave.  
  
Mahiru, however, didn't seem to notice. Grinning at everyone, he turned to face them, planting his hands on his hips. "Alright, let's warm up!"  
  
 _And then there's that too._ Kuro had been so invested in the acceptance aspect of this tournament that he had completely forgotten about the sports part.  
  
This was about to quickly turn into his worst nightmare.  
  
Sighing, he joined his teammates as they started running laps around the court, falling into stride next to Mahiru and watching Ryuusei, Koyuki, and those girls whose name he could never remember run alongside them, some darting ahead, others already out of breath after half a lap. The two girls were talking as they ran, completely ignoring that they barely had enough breath for running alone; Ryuusei was sprinting like he wanted an entry in the Guinness Book of Records while Koyuki, gasping and panting, tried to keep up with him. Kuro allowed himself to relax a little. At least they were all too busy with themselves and each other to take notice of him for the moment.  
  
"Kuro?"  
  
Kuro blinked, turning to look at Mahiru, who was quickening his pace as he spoke. "Remember what I told you? Try to get along with the team. You can't just stay with me the whole time, you know?"  
  
Stumbling, Kuro nearly tripped over his feet, catching himself at the last minute and hurrying forward to catch up with Mahiru again. "Not my fault if they don't wanna get along with me."  
  
"They will." Mahiru smiled. "Trust me. You won't even have to approach them on your own, I'm gonna do that for you, okay? So don't worry, try to be nice and do your best!"  
  
With that he sped up again, darting after Ryuusei, overtaking Koyuki in a heartbeat. "Ryuusei, slow down already! This is volleyball practice, not the Olympics! You'll run out of steam!"  
  
Kuro sighed, watching Mahiru lapse into full-on scolding mom mode as he chased after Ryuusei, who laughed and picked up his speed. "What a pain..."  
  
There was a startled yelp at his side. Turning, Kuro found Koyuki jumping three feet away from him, eyes wide with shock, his face turning pale as soon as he was met with Kuro's gaze. "S-So sorry!" he stammered, backing away till he hit the wall. "I-I-I didn't see you at all and got startled when you suddenly spoke up... I'm sorry!"  
  
Kuro closed his eyes, turning his head away. _See this, Mahiru? This is what they think of me. They think I'm gonna kill somebody over something like this. There's no way I can get along with them._  
  
 _Well, you could at least try._  
  
Kuro wasn't sure if the voice in his head was Mahiru's, his own, or someone else's entirely, but he knew it was right. He couldn't complain about these guys fearing him if he never tried to change their minds. Maybe Mahiru would stop trying to make him socialize when he saw that things really didn't work, even with him trying.  
  
And besides, how much worse than this could it possibly get?  
  
"What a pain," he said, trying to sound as calm as usual, concealing the fact that he was getting an adrenaline rush just from talking to Mahiru's friend. "I'm just a friendly neighborhood shut-in. I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me."  
  
That one had worked on Mahiru. But what if it didn't work on other people? Should he have said something different? What if he sounded weird, what if he'd just made it worse, what if–  
  
He opened his eyes again, carefully letting his gaze stray back to Koyuki. His classmate was still standing with his back to the wall, looking nervous and terrified... and confused. Mostly he looked confused, surprised to hear the dreaded delinquent utter such things, things that didn't fit his troublemaker image at all. Kuro just gave him a half-tired, half-apologetic look. _What? This is me. Sorry if you thought otherwise._  
  
Koyuki let out the breath he'd been holding, stepping away from the wall. There was still fear in his face, mistrust, but most of all there was confusion and... just a tiny bit of curiosity.  
  
Kuro was just about to say something when Mahiru called out to them from the other side of the gym. "Kuro, Koyuki, what are you guys doing? Everyone else is done!"  
  
"Coming," Koyuki called back as Kuro sighed. No matter how he put it, running was still a major pain.  
  
Mahiru nodded and planted his hands on his hips. "And no cutting corners, you two!"  
  
"But Mahiru!"  
  
"What a pain..."  
  
Kuro and Koyuki blinked, surprised. They had both spoken at the exact same time, both of them thinking the exact same thing.  
  
"What?" Kuro asked, almost defensively, squirming under Koyuki's puzzled stare. "Running's a pain."  
  
Koyuki fidgeted a bit, then he ventured a half-smile that turned into a nervous laugh. "I know, right?"  
  
Kuro blinked in surprise, the slightest hint of hope and joy fluttering in his chest. Had this guy seriously just smiled at him? And agreed with him? Screw that, had he seriously managed to start some sort of _conversation_ with him? They hadn't talked much... and Koyuki still seemed afraid of him... but still.  
  
Maybe this guy wasn't so bad. No... maybe joining this team wasn't so bad.  
  
Heaving a sigh that didn't sound half as exasperated and tired as he meant it to sound, he turned, falling into a severely unmotivated jog. Koyuki followed suit, running beside him, although he still kept as much distance as he possibly could. They finished their last lap in silence, but the silence wasn't nearly as awkward or uncomfortable as Kuro had feared it would be.  
  
\---  
  
"Dude!" Still out of breath, Ryuusei fell down on the bench, leaning back to rest his head against the wall. "Nobody told me volleyball was this hard!"  
  
Koyuki sat down next to him with a laugh. "You think so? I think it's not half as hard as running all those warm-up laps."  
  
"That's because you're tall, man! Do you have any clue how high I have to jump to get those goddamn spikes over the net?"  
  
"But you can jump amazingly high, Ryuu-chan!"  
  
Taking a giant gulp out of his bottle and splashing a handful of water over his face, Mahiru joined his friends, giving them both high fives. "Good job, guys. You're doing great!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a quick glance, then they leaned forward, tackling their friend and knocking him to the ground. "Mahiru!" they whined, holding him down even as he protested. "Help us, we're so tired!"  
  
"Guys, stop it! I can't breathe!"  
  
"Look at this freak!" Ryuusei shouted out, continuing to wrestle him down. "How can he still stand after all this? Tell us your secret, man!"  
  
Koyuki nodded and laughed. "Our ever-reliable Mahiru-sama! Captain Mahiru-sama!"  
  
"Hey, don't just make me captain!" Mahiru protested, trying and failing to shove his two friends off while suppressing a laugh. "Kuro!" he called out to the delinquent, who had flopped down on the ground a few steps away. "Don't just sit around like that, help me!"  
  
Kuro looked up, unsure what to do. He could easily help Mahiru, of course... but should he? His two friends were still terrified of him. If he tried anything now... wouldn't that just terrify them all the more? What should he do?  
  
"Dammit, Kuro!" Mahiru shouted again, craning his neck to give him a playful glare. "What are you doing, help me already!"  
  
"What a pain." Standing up as slowly as he could, Kuro made his way over to the squabbling and laughing trio, coming to stand next to them. Mahiru was giving him a look that was half pleading, half impatient, but the amusement in his eyes was too bright to overlook. And suddenly Kuro knew exactly what to do. It might scare Mahiru's friends a little... but not nearly as much as forcibly dragging them off their friend.  
  
Kuro swallowed, forcing down the nervousness stirring in his chest. Was he really about to do this, join Mahiru and his friends in their playful banter like that? Wasn't that like an intrusion? _Calm down,_ he tried to tell himself. _Mahiru just invited you in. You're not intruding if you're invited. What could possibly go wrong?_  
  
Bracing himself, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and flopped down on top of Mahiru, joining Ryuusei and Koyuki.  
  
Mahiru struggled underneath him. " _Kuro!_ What are you doing?"  
  
"Helping," Kuro replied, trying to sound as casual as possible while Mahiru tried to shove him off. "Like you said."  
  
"Like hell you are! You're _not_ helping!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a puzzled glance, shrinking back ever so slightly, but amusement over the absurdity of the situation won in the end, and they started grinning. "Looks like you lost that one, Mahiru-sama!"  
  
"And you guys call yourselves my friends! Geez!" Mahiru gave all of them playful smacks over the head, then his expression slipped, a wide grin crossing his face. Laughing, he tried to shove his three friends off, to no avail until he gave a mischievous grin and tickled Koyuki's side.  
  
Koyuki yelped and jumped three feet in the air, only to leap back and retaliate. Ryuusei joined in, and a moment later they were all caught up in a three-way tickle fight. Kuro hurriedly scrambled out of Mahiru's reach before his friend thought of tickling him too. He was ticklish as all hell, and he wasn't sure he'd be comfortable laughing around these guys who were still at least a little afraid of him, a feeling that was entirely mutual.  
  
Watching the scene from the sidelines, he couldn't help but marvel at everything that had just happened. Had he really just joined forces with Mahiru's childhood friends to mess with their mutual friend? And had they really laughed at it instead of shrinking away in terror? It had only been for a moment... but just now, they hadn't seemed as afraid of him anymore. Maybe it was just the relaxed atmosphere. Maybe it was that they felt safer when Mahiru was with them. Yeah, that was probably it. There was no way they hadn't been scared just because Kuro had allowed himself to act a little silly.  
  
But still... it was going so much better than expected.  
  
Looking back on today, Kuro couldn't help but feel amazed. Not only had he somehow managed to play with these guys, he had enjoyed it a little. Setting the ball for them to spike was getting easier and easier, and sometimes he couldn't help feeling like they were having fun too. At least they weren't afraid of him hitting the ball in their faces anymore.  
  
Well, that was probably a little too optimistic. They must still be a little scared. It wasn't like they'd suddenly grown to like him or anything; they probably never would. At the moment they were just trying their best to work together with him, for the team's sake or to please Mahiru, or maybe both. There was no way they'd willingly interact with him outside of this.  
  
But it was okay. It was better than Kuro had thought or dared to hope. It was fine, somehow. Fun, even. If they all just managed to keep going like this until the tournament was over, he'd be grateful forever.  
  
Mahiru managed to free himself from his friends' grip, jumping to his feet and running off to hide behind Kuro before they could catch him. "Alright," he announced, "break's over! Let's get back to practice, everyone!"  
  
There was a groan from Koyuki, Ryuusei and the girls, and Kuro sighed. "Already? What a pain..."  
  
"Of course! Are you planning to win this or not?" Walking past Kuro, Mahiru placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, giving him a smile. "You're doing great, Kuro. Good job!"  
  
Kuro turned away, hoping Mahiru wouldn't see the slight blush crossing his cheeks. "Are you trying to bribe me into working harder?"  
  
"Wha–?! _No!_ That was a genuine compliment, you egg!"  
  
" _Ow_... Don't hit your innocent teammates... what a pain."  
  
Sighing, Kuro stretched and followed Mahiru back on the court. This was all still a little too good to be true. Why were things going so stupidly well? It was so much easier than he'd thought... so much more fun.  
  
It wasn't like he wanted to spend more time with these guys. But just playing with them... he didn't mind that half as much as he'd thought he would.  
  
\---  
  
"...Munchkin? Heyooo, Munchkin!"  
  
Misono jumped, harshly snapping out of his reverie and back into reality. What was he doing again? Oh right, he was supposed to get this bunch of idiots organized and make them study a proper cheering routine. Not that he knew the first thing about cheering, but the choreography wasn't his job anyway. His job was to help deal out tasks and sort these loudmouths into groups that didn't range from two to eight in size. And when he was done with this, he'd have to find some referees... and then...  
  
Great, the festival was still weeks from now and his to-do list was already growing over his head.  
  
"Hey, Purple! Eggplant? Jelly bean!"  
  
Huffing with annoyance, Misono finally turned around to glare at Watanuki, who was giving him his stupidest, most shameless grin. "Watanuki Sakuya," he said with overemphasized patience. "Don't you have a patient bone in your body? I was thinking, you bastard! And in your place I'd be very careful with comparing other people to vegetables if I looked like a lettuce myself."  
  
There were laughs and hoots from their classmates. Watanuki looked annoyed, then he grinned, more fiercely this time, red eyes gleaming with something suspiciously akin to murderous intent. "Huh, looks like you're so far down you can't see my head from down there," he sneered, stepping forward to loom over Misono as if he was trying to intimidate him. "Should I lend you a telescope?"  
  
"No, but I'd appreciate a microscope so I can finally see your intelligence." Misono didn't back down, meeting Watanuki's gaze with a cold glare. "What did you want from me, bastard? I assume you had some sort of reason for talking to me."  
  
"Duh." Watanuki still looked like he had more arguing in him, but thankfully he let the matter slide for now. "I was saying we're planning to make signs and posters so we need some paper and pens from the art classroom, which you'd know if you hadn't been daydreaming but whatever."  
  
Misono jolted, feeling caught. "I-I wasn't daydreaming, you bastard!" he sputtered, blushing. Like hell he was telling this idiot and half the class that he'd been distracted because of Sendagaya! It wasn't his fault he couldn't get that impossible first-year off his mind. Who wouldn't be stuck thinking of someone after being asked to watch them play at the festival this very morning?  
  
"Sure you weren't," Watanuki replied with a smirk. "Spacing out, then?"  
  
"I was _thinking!_ Which _you_ would know if you didn't have the attention span of a plastic houseplant."  
  
"Wow, rude. So are you gonna get all that stuff or not?"  
  
Misono rolled his eyes, brushing past his classmate. "Alright then, since you won't be quiet about it." At least that would give him a few more minutes to be alone with his thoughts, without a certain lettuce-head getting on his last nerve. He was already regretting this whole committee thing, honestly.  
  
"Why don't you go with him, Sakuya?"  
  
...Or so he thought.  
  
"Wha–?!" Thankfully Watanuki didn't seem much happier about the suggestion than he was. "Hey!"  
  
"Yeah, that's a good idea! Go with him, Sakuya, he can't carry all those posters and stuff by himself!"  
  
"Wait! If you think he needs help why don't you guys go–"  
  
"C'mon, Sakuya! Be a nice guy and help him, okay?"  
  
Watanuki gave his smugly grinning classmates a long-suffering look. "You guys are enjoying this, aren't you?"  
  
The smiles he received in return were more than enough of an answer.  
  
"Okaaaay," he drawled out, sticking his hands in his pockets and starting to walk in the direction of the art classroom. "But if Hair Antenna's short legs can't keep up with me, I'm not waiting for him."  
  
Misono glared at him, then at their smug classmates, then back at him, hurrying to follow his sworn frenemy before he actually got left behind for real. "I'll have you know that I'm perfectly capable of–"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."  
  
They walked side by side, as far apart as the hallway would permit, pretending not to know each other, neither of them saying a word. Misono had been fully expecting to have to hurry to keep up with Watanuki's long legs, but to his surprise he could easily keep pace with him. Had his speed improved, or was Watanuki walking a little slowly on purpose?  
  
He brushed off the thought. Watanuki was the last person who'd do something nice for him; if he was walking slowly it was just because he was a slow walker in general, or because he was tired or lazy or looking for something on the way or some other perfectly logical explanation Misono couldn't think of at the moment, but would definitely be able to understand. There was no way he was doing this for him of all people.  
  
Letting his gaze roam, Misono let his eyes rest on his classmate for a few steps. Watanuki Sakuya. Tall, popular, outgoing, athletic, fun to be around– he had always been everything Misono was not, and that, along with his incredibly annoying tendency to make fun of certain people's height and hair, had always rubbed him the wrong way. They were like cat and dog; there was no way they could possibly get along. And even if they could, Misono wasn't sure he'd want to. Embarrassing as it was, he actually found himself enjoying their little squabbles, their neverending exchanges of creative insults, sarcasm, and nicknames. Even if Watanuki was terribly annoying, at least he made Misono's life a little less boring.  
  
"By the way, Shrimp?"  
  
Speak of the devil. Misono forced himself not to groan, mentally preparing for whatever ridiculousness Watanuki was going to spout out next. Was he planning to resume their fight from earlier? In that case, Misono was prepared. He, too, still had a number of comebacks in store that he couldn't wait to use at the next opportunity.  
  
"How'd you become friends with Mahiru?"  
  
Misono stopped short. Spinning around, he gaped at Watanuki, completely taken aback by his question. "Why are you asking?" he replied warily, frowning. Watanuki wasn't suspecting anything, was he? Why was he bringing up Shirota all of a sudden?  
  
"No... No reason." Tucking his hands in his pockets, Watanuki leaned against the railing of the stairs, his eyes not meeting Misono's. "Just... I'm curious. Mahiru's my friend, so I wanna know about his other friends." He grinned. "Even if they're pint-sized little pricks like you."  
  
"Who are you calling a pint-sized prick, you bastard!" Huffing in annoyance, Misono pointed an accusing finger at him, glaring. "Well," he added in a calmer tone, clearing his throat, "I just think you might as well ask Shirota himself, then. I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you the whole story."  
  
 _Unless... you can't do that for some reason._ Misono frowned at the thought. Watanuki suddenly speaking to him in a normal manner was strange– suspicious, even. Him bringing up Shirota all of a sudden was suspicious. The simple fact that he'd decided to ask Misono, his arch-rival, about their friendship instead of going to his best friend was suspicious. Misono knew how religiously Shirota was keeping the Servamp business a secret from his old friends... it couldn't be that Watanuki was suspecting something, could it? Had he found something out? Did he _know...?_  
  
But how? Shirota certainly hadn't told him, and Misono couldn't think of anyone else who might, unless Watanuki had heard some strange rumors and got worried again, like all of Shirota's friends had back when the class representative befriended Kuro. But in that case, who could have started the rumors? Had they been too careless? Had someone found out? Or...  
  
Did Watanuki have some... _other_ means of information?  
  
Misono's mind flashed back to the kidnapping, fragments of dialogue replaying in his head. Shirota had admitted that he had told Watanuki about Todoroki falling sick and Hyde taking care of him, and a short while after Hyde had disappeared. Coincidence? Misono knew that Shirota trusted his friend completely, that he had sworn he had nothing to do with the boys' disappearances, but Shirota was idealistic and naïve. Easy to deceive for people who weren't nearly as well-intentioned as they seemed to him.  
  
Was Watanuki suspicious because he was in league with the kidnappers? Or was Misono's suspiciousness and dislike of his classmate just playing a trick on him?  
  
One way or another, he shouldn't sell Shirota out. If Watanuki had nothing to do with the business Shirota would never forgive him for pulling his friend into a fight that wasn't his, and if he was in league with their enemies there was no point in revealing their alliance with the Servamps to him.  
  
"You know how Shirota is," he said carefully as he resumed walking, Watanuki following suit. "He'll befriend anyone and everyone, whether they like it or not. He'd be friends with the entire world by now if he could have his way."  
  
The hint of an affectionate smile crossed Watanuki's face for a split seconds. "Yeah, that's Mahiru for ya." The expression faded, and he frowned again, looking mildly disgusted. "But seriously, what does he see in a purple shrimp with a king-sized ego?"  
  
"Who are you calling a purple shrimp with a king-sized ego, you overgrown houseplant? I seriously wonder what Shirota sees in _you!_ " Misono huffed, feeling annoyed at the insult but relieved that Watanuki had returned to more familiar waters. "Why do you worry about Shirota's taste in choosing his friends in the first place? Are you jealous, bastard?"  
  
Watanuki jolted and blushed. "He's my best friend, okay? And he thinks the best about everyone and their mothers so of course I'm worried! What if someone's gonna take advantage of him?"  
  
Misono turned his head, glaring daggers at his classmate. "Are you saying you suspect me of taking advantage of him?"  
  
Watanuki grinned. "That's what you said. Can't really say it's wrong, though."  
  
"You...!!" Misono clenched his fists and picked up his pace, storming ahead. "Just so you know," he declared over his shoulder, "Shirota Mahiru was my first friend. I'd never betray him!"  
  
"Your first friend? What about that third-year pretty boy?"  
  
"Lily's family."  
  
"Huh," Watanuki said slowly, easily catching up to Misono's pace again. "Huh," he said again, more quietly this time. "Your first friend, huh."  
  
Misono avoided his gaze. Declaring it like this was still embarrassing, especially to Watanuki Sakuya of all people. But he felt like he still had to do it. The thought of being suspected of using Shirota was insulting, infuriating, unbearable. This, at least, was something he seemed to have in common with Watanuki. They both cared about Shirota Mahiru and wanted him to be all right.  
  
Well, almost everyone did. That didn't mean much. It certainly wasn't anything Misono would be willing to bond with him over; Watanuki was still insufferable.  
  
And if his gut feeling was right and Watanuki really was up to no good...  
  
Misono stopped walking and turned around, planting his hands on his hips. "If anything, I'll protect him. As a friend, I'll protect Shirota Mahiru from anyone who could hurt him!"  
  
Watanuki gaped at him for a second, eyes widening. For a moment he looked surprised, moved... a little grateful?... but then he regained his composure, giving Misono a mocking smirk. "Wow," he jeered. "That's gotta be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."  
  
"Shut your mouth!" Misono blushed bright red. "I was only speaking the truth, you bastard!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Watanuki caught up to him, grinning. "If it wasn't you, I'd actually say you sounded kind of cool for a sec."  
  
"Is that supposed to be a compliment, you bastard? I can go well without that!"  
  
"You're so scary when you're mad. Not."  
  
Squabbling back and forth, they closed the rest of the distance to the art classroom and returned with enough equipment for the entire cheer squad. Watanuki carried the posters; he said Misono couldn't carry them because they were bigger than he was and would get dirty, but to Misono it seemed like an almost friendly gesture. Almost. Not that he cared; Watanuki Sakuya was still as annoying as ever, and they had absolutely nothing in common. Misono wasn't planning on changing that one anytime soon.  
  
But for some strange, incomprehensible reason, he couldn't help feeling like Watanuki respected him a little more now. Just a tiny bit.  
  
\---  
  
"It's not working! Geez!"  
  
Huffing in frustration, Hyde slammed the ball against the ground, watching as it bounced over the gym floor and rolled off the court. Why in the world was volleyball so hard? Everyone else was managing just fine! What was it that he alone was doing wrong, and why wouldn't everyone else's tips just work for him, for crying out loud?  
  
"Quit trying to toss," Licht remarked from the side, picking up Hyde's ball and spinning it in his hands. "I'm the only setter this team needs. Why? Because I'm an angel!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Hyde mumbled with a pout, not really feeling like making fun of his classmate or picking a fight at the moment. Because unfortunately, Licht was right. He was a great player and a great setter, and Hyde would probably already have bragged about him being invincible if he hadn't been doing so miserably himself. "You do your thing, Angel-chan."  
  
"...Hyde."  
  
Something about Licht's tone made Hyde look up, meeting those piercing blue eyes to blink in surprise. The pianist looked worried somehow, no anger or disdain in his eyes, only confusion and the slightest hint of compassion. Even he must have noticed how much it was getting him down– no, wrong. Licht was always the first one to notice. Aloof and short-tempered as he was, he understood Hyde's feelings even when Hyde himself didn't.  
  
Still spinning the ball in his hands, Licht stepped closer, eyes still interlocking with Hyde's. "I wanna try something, shit rat. Spike a toss for me."  
  
Hyde gaped at him like he had just spoken in an alien language. "...What?"  
  
Spike a toss? Him? But he couldn't even get everything else right, so why was Licht giving him a task like that? He couldn't possibly be expecting _him_ to succeed at the hardest part of this game when he was already messing up all the easier ones?  
  
"Just do it!" Licht insisted, impatiently tossing the ball up and down in his hands. "Run, jump and hit! Even you can do that."  
  
Hyde was seriously beginning to doubt that bit, but he nodded. After all, what could go wrong now that he'd already failed at everything? He couldn't possibly make things any worse than they already were.  
  
"Fine," he said, marching to the back of the court, ready to start a sprint. "Send me a toss, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht flung the ball at their teammates. From the corner of his eye, Hyde could see one of them catching it and throwing it back at him just as Licht jumped, ready to send it flying.  
  
 _Now._  
  
Hyde darted forward. Four more steps– three– two– one. The perfect distance from the net. He'd have to jump now. Now!  
  
His foot hit the ground, launching him up in the air. _Jumped too late,_ he realized, cursing himself. No, he didn't have time to think about that now, he had to focus on the ball! As long as he hit the ball it was fine. There it was... calm down, focus. Swing now and–  
  
The ball whooshed past, only inches away from his hand.  
  
"Dammit!"  
  
Hyde landed on the ground, pulling at his hair in frustration. "It's not working, dammit! So what was your genius plan, Angel-chan? Everything's still the same as always! Stupid useless Angel-chan!"  
  
"Look who's talking! Can you really call anyone else useless right now, shit rat?" Licht scowled, stomping over to him, right into his personal space, planting himself inches away from Hyde. "Be grateful I'm trying to help!" He paused. "Not that I'm doing this out of kindness. I just don't want the team to lose because you suck."  
  
"Whoa, we actually agree on something!" Hyde said almost bitterly, not budging even though all his instincts were telling him to step back and bring some much-needed distance between himself and Licht, who was still looking dangerously annoyed. "But do you have a plan? Since practicing more obviously doesn't cut it, you know!"  
  
"...Spike another toss."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Spike another toss." Licht's eyes were glowing with intensity, two orbs of blue fire locking down on Hyde, holding him captive. "With your eyes closed."  
  
"Yeah, like that'll work! I already spiked enough tos–" Hyde stopped in his tracks, sputtering as his brain caught up to the second sentence. "Eh? You want me to do _what?_ "  
  
"Just do it!"  
  
Hyde stared at him in confusion, trying to make out the thoughts hidden behind those incomprehensible blue eyes. What on earth was Licht up to? He obviously had a plan. He knew something that Hyde didn't, something he had noticed in his last attempt to spike. But what? And how could doing it with his eyes closed help matters? He couldn't even do it when he _could_ see the ball, so how...  
  
"Uh, Lichtan?" he ventured, scratching the back of his head in an embarrassed gesture. "If I can't see anything then how exactly am I supposed to hit the ba–"  
  
"Forget about the ball."  
  
Hyde blinked at him, dumbfounded. What was Licht talking about? "Forget...?"  
  
Licht marched back to his position and turned, upright and proud, a pillar of strength and confidence. His eyes were flashing with determination, glowing as he met Hyde's gaze, standing tall like a hero from long-forgotten legends. "I'll get the ball to you!" he declared, his clear voice reverberating in Hyde's ears, echoing through the gym as the world seemed to fall silent. "So just trust me and jump!"  
  
A chill crept over Hyde's skin. His heart beat faster, pounding with excitement. Adrenaline spread through his veins. His eyes lit up, an enthusiastic grin spreading over his face as his whole body filled up with bubbling, explosive determination. Something about Licht had eliminated all his worries, all his doubts. He wanted to do this. He wanted to trust Licht. Something about his teammate was telling him he could do this. He knew he could win.  
  
He was on fire.  
  
"Alright!" he burst out, sprinting to the back of the court. "Bring it on, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht smirked back, his eyes glowing with the same excited fire Hyde could feel in his body. "That's the spirit, Hyde!"  
  
Their teammates passed Licht the ball. Hyde started running.  
  
 _Don't think about the ball. Leave it all to Angel-chan.  
  
Just close your eyes and jump._  
  
Hyde launched into the air, closing his eyes, spreading his wings. He felt like a bird taking flight, floating higher and higher, the ground beneath him disappearing. Even with his eyes closed he could tell he'd never jumped as high before. He felt powerful, invincible. Right now, he was no longer the former gang member who was struggling with the basics of volleyball. He was flying. He could do anything.  
  
His grin widening, he extended his arm and swung.  
  
Something hit his palm, something light and hard and smooth. He slammed it down, slammed it to the ground with all his power. There was the sound of a ball hitting the ground. Somewhere far below, a few voices cheered.  
  
Hyde opened his eyes.  
  
He was up in the air, looking over the net on the other side of the court. The ball was bouncing over the ground, jumping from the impact. His teammates were on the sidelines with looks of amazement on their faces.  
  
 _I did it._  
  
Hyde looked to the side. He looked right at Licht, beaming with pride, his eyes shining with gratitude. And Licht was smiling back at him, not smirking but smiling from ear to ear, all pride and joy and shaky childlike excitement, his whole face glowing, a sparkle in his eyes. "I did it!" Hyde cheered, pumping his fists in the air as he landed for a short moment, jumping back up and bouncing like a happy child on Christmas Eve. " _We_ did it! We did it, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht smirked with satisfaction. "Told you so."  
  
Calming down a little, Hyde landed on the ground, giving him a questioning look. "How'd you know this would work?"  
  
"You're too stiff," Licht replied like it was the most simple thing in the world. "How many times did I tell you to imagine what you wanna do, shit rat? You just kept seeing your failures over and over!" Hyde jolted and stuttered, and Licht nodded as if he had just proven a point. "So of course it helped when you couldn't see anything at all."  
  
"I could still imagine, though..."  
  
"I took the pressure off your shoulders." Licht turned away, slipping under the net to retrieve the ball. "Just reminded you that there's more than one guy on the court. That's all."  
  
Hyde gazed after him in awe. Licht was amazing. It was something he was reminded of every day, but Licht Jekylland Todoroki was without doubt the most incredible, fantastic human being Hyde had ever met, or would ever meet, even if he lived for a thousand years. How did Licht always know exactly what to do to pull him out of a slump? How did he always know what to say? He seemed so brash, so rude, so aloof. He lived with his head in the clouds. And yet...  
  
And yet he was so perceptive, so kind. No matter what he said, he always helped Hyde, supported him, gave him hope. Hidden beneath that harsh exterior was a big heart full of warmth, and Hyde couldn't believe he seemed to have taken his own little place in it.  
  
He wanted to give back to this guy. He wanted to deserve more of that kindness. He wanted to help Licht when he needed it, to support and protect him and pull him out of any slump he couldn't get out of himself. He wanted to see more of that proud, happy, sparkly-eyed smile, the smile that had ingrained itself in his heart, giving him a fluttery feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain. He wanted Licht to be proud of him, to rely on him and trust him more, just to repay him for everything he owed to this ridiculous, violent archangel.  
  
He wanted to stay with him. He wanted to stand by Licht's side, not just for the tournament or until they ended up in different classes or high school graduation. He never wanted to let go of this boy again, ever.  
  
This feeling... it was familiar. Where had he felt this before?  
  
The image of Ophelia flashed through his mind. Ophelia, sitting in her window, holding up signs and waving and smiling from ear to ear, making his chest flutter and butterflies take flight in his stomach. Ophelia, smiling and climbing trees and dragging him around the town, holding his hand like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
This feeling...  
  
Did he _like_ Angel-chan?  
  
No, no, no, no, no. He didn't like him, not like that! Well, he cared about him a lot, and he admired and respected him and wanted to be with him and wanted to see his adorable smile again. One could say that he had a lot of feelings for him, platonically. But he wasn't in love with Licht or anything. What he felt was _platonic_ love, strong friendship, nothing more. He'd just gone without close friends for so long that he'd momentarily confused the two emotions.  
  
Probably.  
  
Following Licht with his gaze, part of Hyde wasn't so sure. Was it normal for your heart to pound like this when you watched your friend? Was it normal to start feeling all jittery like a million butterflies? Was it normal to think your friend was the most beautiful human being to ever grace the earth?  
  
Well, Licht _was_ beautiful, even when he scowled and yelled insults. That wasn't Hyde's opinion, that was a proven fact. And those jitters were probably just remaining excitement from his successful spike.  
  
"Hey, hey, Angel-chan!" he shouted, running after Licht. "Send me another toss!"  
  
Licht looked at him with a blank, icy stare. "Nope."  
  
"Why not?" Hyde pouted at him. "Stingy!"  
  
"Shut up!" Scowling, Licht swung a kick at him and missed by inches. "If you want another toss then learn how to serve and receive first, you useless shit rat!"  
  
"But then I'll never get to spike again! Pleeeease, Lichtan!"  
  
"Not my problem! Just don't be stiff and practice the rest!"  
  
"Toss! Toss! Toss!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Come on! Just one more and then I'll shut up." Hyde blinked at him with the roundest, shiniest puppy-dog eyes he could muster. "Pretty please?"  
  
Licht blushed, his expression torn between embarrassment and irritation as he turned away, scowling at the net. "...Fine."  
  
"Yay! Thanks, Angel-chan!"  
  
"But just one!"


	22. Old Friends and New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're already treating him like a friend, huh?"

"Jun-chan, Yumi-chan..."  
  
Yumikage and Jun glanced up to find Tsurugi slumped over his desk, a plethora of pens and papers scattered beneath and around him, on the desk, on the floor, even on his head. "Why am I doing this?"  
  
"Because you're the student council president, Tsurugi." Jun sighed, looking down at his own share of paperwork, neatly arranged in stacks labeled 'done' and 'to do.' "We talked about this."  
  
"Yumi-chan..."  
  
"Don't even think I'm gonna do your part!" Yumi snapped, furiously scribbling away. "Do it yourself, lazy-ass Forehead!"  
  
"Well, asking didn't hurt." Tsurugi sat up and leaned back in his chair, placing his feet on the desk, not even caring that he got the papers dirty, despite his friends' protest. "Speaking of which, has anybody seen Kuni-chan? He's supposed to be doing this too!"  
  
"Dunno. You probably scared him away with your creepiness." Yumikage stared at the form in front of him, realized that he'd filled it out all wrong, and started scribbling everything out again, muttering a curse. " _Son of a...!_ "  
  
"Language, Yumi-chan, language!"  
  
"You wanna die?"  
  
Jun sighed again, giving his two friends a long look. "Take it somewhere else, guys! Some people in here are trying to get work done." He threw a glance at Mikuni's empty desk. "Are you really surprised Mikuni's not here? You should have expected him to be skipping. He always skips this stuff, Tsurugi."  
  
Tsurugi followed Jun's gaze, staring at the empty desk in mock disappointment. "Tsk, tsk, as expected of Kuni-chan. No manners whatsoever. It's heartbreaking." He faked a sniffle. "And here I thought I could motivate him to help more with our temporary truce..."  
  
Yumikage and Jun exchanged a look. Tsurugi might be making fun of Mikuni, but they knew him too well to be fooled by the act. They could tell his disappointment wasn't entirely fake. Their friend still missed his sworn enemy, and even though he'd tried his hardest, there was no hiding the fact that he'd been looking forward to this temporary ceasefire, to spending some time with Mikuni without getting at each other's throats for once. Typical Tsurugi. Only he would think of faking disappointment to hide that he really was disappointed.  
  
Jun stopped writing to tap his pen against the desk. "Have you tried calling him?"  
  
"Jun-chan, did you hurt your head?" Tsurugi stared at him, appalled. "I can't possibly _call_ him!"  
  
Just as Jun opened his mouth to reply, Yumikage jumped to his feet, stomped over to Tsurugi's desk, reached into his bag and snatched his phone out of it, scrolling through the contacts. "If you don't call him I'm gonna!"  
  
"Yumi-chan, wai–"  
  
" _Mikuni!_ Where the fuck are you?" Yumikage yelled into the phone, scowling at the answer he got. "I don't care what you're doing! You think we're gonna do your job for you, huh? I'm giving you five minutes to get your ass over here, then I'll come and find you!" He listened again. "Okay. Later. Bye."  
  
Looking pleased with himself, he tossed the phone back into the hands of a very baffled-looking Tsurugi. "Problem solved."  
  
"Uh, Yumi-chan, it wasn't really a problem to begin with..."  
  
"Not a problem, huh?" Yumikage went back to scribbling out forms. "Yeah, totally not a problem if you're sitting there looking like you just got dumped! I call bullshit!"  
  
Tsurugi laughed, a laugh that was obviously fake. "Looking like I just got dumped?" he exclaimed like that was the most ridiculous thing he had heard in weeks. "Yumi-chan, I told you a million times not to watch so many cheesy soap operas! I know you can't sleep without them but..."  
  
"Why did I even bother helping you? I'll kick your ass, you lying bastard!"  
  
"Guys, cut it out." Jun shook his head, turning around in his chair to look at Tsurugi. "But you have to admit Yumi has a point, Tsurugi. You really do look a lot happier already."  
  
Tsurugi jolted and blushed. His mouth stood open for a few seconds, speechless; his hands flew all over the desk, desperately looking for something to do. Then he regained his countenance, smiling like a Cheshire cat as he gave an overly cheerful laugh. "Of course I'm happier!" he said lightheartedly. "Do you think I was looking forward to doing Kuni-chan's part of the paperwork?"  
  
Jun and Yumikage exchanged a knowing look, rolling their eyes. "One way or another," Jun said patiently, "you should thank Yumi. He just did you a huge favor, didn't he?"  
  
"Of course!" Tsurugi beamed, genuinely this time. "Thanks, Yumi-chan!"  
  
"Don't thank me, moron! That's what friends are for," Yumikage grumbled, lowering his head over his paperwork. "But I'm not stopping you guys if you try to kill each other again!"  
  
"Nobody's expecting you to! That's Jun-chan's job."  
  
"Hey, now..."  
  
At this very moment the door flew open, and Mikuni came waltzing in like he owned the place, an exasperated-looking Jeje in tow. "Sorry for the delay, everyone! Did you miss me?"  
  
\---  
  
He had survived practice.  
  
Kuro still couldn't believe his own luck. He had somehow made it through practicing with the team for the first time, without messing up, disappointing Mahiru, or scaring the living daylights out of his teammates. What was more, it had been kind of fun. Volleyball itself wasn't that hard, actually; his battle-honed cat-like reflexes quickly adjusted to the rules of the game, and the technique itself was simple enough. He remembered finding it easy to learn when he'd first played the game in gym class back in middle school, and his body still remembered the movements.  
  
Now he was spent. But not really in a bad way.  
  
Mahiru beamed at him, his whole face glowing with pride, making Kuro's chest flutter and his heard skip a beat. He had made Mahiru proud. Mahiru was happy with how he'd done. Mahiru was smiling the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, and it just became a thousand times more stunning with the knowledge that it was meant for him alone.  
  
Giving a content sigh, he plopped down on the locker room bench, not quite ready to start getting changed yet. His limbs felt heavy, his head light. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep for an hour, or two hours, or however many hours he could get before Mahiru woke him up.  
  
"Man, am I tired!"  
  
Ryuusei groaned, leaning his head against the wall behind. "Can't get up anymore. Koyuki, carry me."  
  
Koyuki slumped down on the floor, exhaustedly reaching for the water bottle. "I'm tired too, Ryuu-chan," he said, heaving a sigh. "Carry yourself, and I'll carry myself, okay?"  
  
"Geez, what's with you guys? You really need to work on your stamina!" Mahiru shook his head at his friends, splashing them with water. "The actual tournament will be even harder!"  
  
There was a collective groan from Ryuusei, Koyuki and Kuro.  
  
"You too, Kuro?" Mahiru turned to give him a stern look. "For crying out loud, I thought at least you'd be less of a wimp than these two over here! C'mon, get up!"  
  
Kuro tried to stir and immediately regretted the decision. "Nope. I'm not moving."  
  
"Geez, don't be like that! Come on, you gotta get changed quick, we still have class after this!"  
  
Another collective groan.  
  
"Petition for skipping the next class," Kuro said, raising a tired hand. "Who's in?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki raised their hands. Mahiru looked from one to the other, torn between confusion, irritation and quiet acceptance. "Hey now..."  
  
"Why not? C'mon, Mahiru, it's just history anyway," Ryuusei insisted, his voice half a sleepy mumble as he lay down on the bench, closing his eyes. "You pushed us way too hard, I can't move!"  
  
"Wai– We can't just–"  
  
"Why not? If we go now we'll just fall asleep in class." Koyuki laughed at the thought. "Might as well stay here... You're free to go if you like, but we're staying, Mahiru."  
  
Kuro gave his friend a triumphant look. "You're outnumbered three to one. Might as well give up, Mahiru-sama."  
  
"Oh, for the love of...! Fine! You win!" Mahiru huffed, sitting down on the ground. "What's with you guys and teaming up against me, anyway? You're all a bunch of traitors!"  
  
_Teaming up?_ Ryuusei and Koyuki looked at each other, then at Kuro. Kuro looked from one to the other. Then it dawned on him. He had just acted casual with Mahiru's two friends. He had teamed up with them to convince Mahiru. He had made a suggestion and they had agreed with him, just like that. Like he wasn't the dreaded delinquent they were both afraid of. Like they were on the same level... getting along.  
  
His heart skipped a beat. He had managed to interact with Mahiru's friends normally. It might have been the exhaustion speaking in the three of them, slowing down their thoughts and making them forget their differences to momentarily fight for the same cause, but they had interacted. Without fear. Just Kuro casually making a suggestion, taken at ease by Mahiru's presence, and the two of them following suit like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
Could he do that? Talk to people casually, without internally panicking at every word or accidentally scaring them off? Could he even become friends with Ryuusei and Koyuki? They seemed like nice guys. Maybe they could talk sometimes, or team up to mess with Mahiru together, or maybe even hang out, all four of them.  
  
Like they were doing right now.  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged another glance, then they glanced back at Kuro, nervous and frightened and just a little curious. Kuro looked away, squirming uncomfortably and shifting to sit down on the floor behind Mahiru, hiding as well as he could. No matter how nice they seemed, he still couldn't handle both their gazes at the same time. "...Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru peeked at him over his shoulder and sighed, half a smile crossing his face. "Alright," he said, grinning to relieve the awkward tension in the room, "what do we do now?"  
  
They all looked at each other. None of them really knew what to do besides sitting here and resting. No one even had an idea of what to talk about. Kuro hid behind Mahiru. He felt like someone was expecting him to say something, and he didn't want to. He didn't want to be the center of attention. He didn't want the others noticing him at all. They had nothing to expect from him anyway. His mind was blank.  
  
For a moment they all sat in perfect silence, staring at the floor, or their own feet, or the small windows through which the summer sun was glimpsing inside. Then Kuro's stomach growled. Loudly.  
  
Kuro didn't have to look up to know everyone was staring at him. Blushing, he pulled up his knees, ducking his head, desperately wishing he'd brought his hoodie to hide his face in. Oh, this was awkward. This was so awkward. Where was a hole in the ground when he needed one? If it was around, he'd crawl into it without a second thought and never come out.  
  
Then Mahiru started laughing.  
  
"Oh, Kuro," he said, leaning back and ruffling his hair. "Got hungry, did you? Well, I could use a snack too. Practice does make you kinda hungry..." He got up, searching through his bag. "Food... food..."  
  
"I have food!" Koyuki piped in, reaching into his bag to produce a family pack of chocolate chip cookies. "Would anybody like some cookies?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Ryuusei slid off the bench and made a dive for the cookies. "Koyuki, you're a godsend!"  
  
"No! Stop! Stop it, Ryuu-chan, you're not getting any till the others have had some!" Koyuki exclaimed, holding the cookies out of his friend's reach, who struggled and lunged but couldn't touch them. "You'll just end up eating them all again!"  
  
"Hey, name one time I ate all the food and left none for you guys!"  
  
"All the time! You're banned from getting food till we've all had some, Ryuu-chan!" Laughing, Koyuki tossed the box of cookies away from himself with one hand while warding off Ryuusei with the other. "Quick, somebody rescue the cookies!"  
  
Following his instinct, Kuro dove forward, retrieving the box before it could hit the ground. The others stopped talking, all eyes turning to rest on him in a mixture of surprise and awe.  
  
Kuro shifted, uncomfortable under the attention. Holding the box closer like it was a treasure chest, he gave his teammates a defensive look, peeking under his bangs. ""...What?"  
  
"N-Nothing," Koyuki stammered, flailing his hands around as he backed away, hitting the wall. "I-I just didn't think anybody would catch it in time... I swear that's all! Please feel free to take as many cookies as you want, they're a-all yours!"  
  
Great, now he'd scared them again. Dropping his gaze, Kuro sighed in frustration. One step forward, two steps back... What had he done? He should've known that glaring at them from below would make him look like a delinquent!  
  
Searching for help, he let his gaze roam over to Mahiru, resting on his face. His friend didn't look like he was going to be very helpful. He just laughed, took the box of cookies from Kuro's hand and lightly tossed it up and down. "Nice receive, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro gaped at him. "What?"  
  
"What do you mean, what? You just dove in to save that box like a pro! If you can do stuff like this in the matches, I'm sure we have a good chance to win!" Still laughing, Mahiru opened the box and held it out to its rightful owner. "Here you go, Koyuki. I think they're not broken, Kuro saved them."  
  
Koyuki reached out a nervous hand, hesitantly taking the cookies and immediately holding them out towards Kuro. "U-Um..." His hand was shaking a little, but he still tried to smile. "Thanks... for saving my cookies. H-Here, have some!"  
  
Mumbling a thanks, Kuro took a cookie from the box and started munching, his gaze fixed on the floor. He could hear the others passing around the cookie box, Koyuki offering some to Mahiru, Ryuusei trying to sneak cookies and getting fought off by the others. They were all getting along so well. He wondered what he was doing, trying to fit into such a close group, even temporarily; it seemed ridiculous, impossible. But they were still trying to get along with him, somehow. They had lost their fear of him for a short moment, even if he'd quickly managed to scare them away once more. But in the end Koyuki had still thanked him and offered him cookies. He didn't quite feel welcome here, but he was still feeling a lot more welcome than he'd thought he would. And he wanted to give back, even a little.  
  
Speaking of which...  
  
Kuro got up, making his way to his bag and rummaging through it. Shouldn't there still be... oh, there it was. His hand closed around the familiar bag of chips he'd stuffed into his bag a few days ago and completely forgotten about. If they were all sharing snacks, maybe he could share some of his too.  
  
He turned around, only to find everyone looking at him again. Following a sudden impulse he hid the bag of chips behind his back, wishing he was invisible. What were they staring at him for? He should be happy he had their attention, that he didn't have to try and speak up... but he wasn't. It was making him uncomfortable. He felt like he was being judged, and it was making him uncomfortable.  
  
Should he not offer them anything after all? Was he getting ahead of himself? But only taking other people's food and not giving them anything when he had plenty to share felt wrong. What should he do?  
  
"...Kuro?"  
  
As usual, it was Mahiru who broke the silence. Mahiru who brought him back to reality, snapping him out of the thoughts that kept spinning round and round in circles in his head. He just needed to offer everyone these chips. Say something, perhaps. The others had just done the same, no big deal.  
  
No big deal.  
  
Still feeling caught off guard, he produced the bag of chips from behind his back, holding it out towards the others. _Say something,_ a voice whispered in his mind. But he couldn't really think of anything to say. His mind was completely blank again.  
  
A hand reached out, hesitantly taking hold of the chips. Kuro followed it with his gaze– only to find out that it didn't belong to Mahiru but to Ryuusei, who was staring at the bag with wide, hungry eyes.  
  
"Hey, are those the bouillon flavored ones?" he finally asked, venturing a grin. "Those are my favorites!"  
  
_Mine too,_ Kuro thought, but he still hadn't found his voice. Sitting down, he let his eyes roam around, searching for a spot to look at, until at last his gaze rested on Mahiru. His friend was always a safe haven when he didn't know what to do.  
  
Mahiru seemed to understand his situation, because he smiled, taking the chips from Ryuusei's hand. "Hey, don't eat all of them, Ryuusei! I'm sure Kuro meant these for all of us. Right, Kuro?"  
  
Kuro relaxed a little. Talking to Mahiru was easy, simple, not at all like talking to his friends or all the other people who were afraid of him. "What a pain," he said with a sigh, retrieving the chips from Mahiru and tearing the bag open. "Leave some for me too... but just some." He put down the open bag of chips in the middle, easy to reach for all of them. "Here."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a nervous glance. Ryuusei hesitated for a moment, then his appetite won over his fear, and he reached into the bag, treating himself to a generous handful of chips that he stuffed into his mouth all at once. "Yum!" he said around a giant mouthful, smiling with crumbs on his cheeks. "Thanksh for the food!"  
  
Kuro watched him, a strange happy feeling in his chest. He was managing again. He'd frightened Mahiru's friends temporarily, but now one of them was eating his chips and thanking him for the food and smiling, and the other didn't look nearly as terrified of him anymore either. They might slowly be warming up to him, he realized. And vice versa. When they weren't scared of him they really were nice guys, friendly and fun to be around. He could see why Mahiru was friends with them.  
  
He still felt a little out of place, of course. These three had known each other all their lives. He could never keep up with that if he tried; there was no way he could possibly make up for over a decade of knowing each other, a decade of shared experiences, of going through the good, the bad, and the ugly together. He was only a guest here. The only one in this group he was really close to was Mahiru.  
  
So why did he feel like he wanted to be part of this group? He wanted to be friends with these guys. They were nice. They were welcoming him despite their initial fears, despite the fact that they were still a little afraid of him. They were giving him a chance. Granted, they were only doing it for Mahiru's sake, but most people he knew wouldn't even do that. And these guys were the same people who had believed and spread rumors about him once, the same people Kuro himself had once frightened on purpose.  
  
There was a tug at his heartstrings, as if someone was trying to pull at his very soul, making him want to smile and cry at the same time. They were so kind. He didn't deserve this. He had done nothing to deserve this.  
  
Mahiru snatched the chips from Ryuusei just as the latter was about to take his third handful, offering the bag to Koyuki and then to Kuro. Kuro absentmindedly reached into the bag. _Hanging out with friends._ Was this what it was like? He hadn't really known it before. He'd never really had any friends before meeting Mahiru.  
  
He just hoped he wouldn't screw this up.  
  
\---  
  
"Say, Ryuu-chan?"  
  
Ryuusei looked up. Koyuki was fixing him with his eyes, brown gaze looking nervous and a little worried, but Ryuusei knew him well enough not to think much of that. "Nervous and a little worried" was basically Koyuki's default expression.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, wiping the last chip crumbs off his face as he walked alongside his friend, heading back to class and hoping not to get into too much trouble for skipping. "What's wrong?"  
  
Koyuki's expression darkened ever so slightly, taking on a thoughtful, serious note Ryuusei only remembered seeing a handful of times. "What do you think of him?"  
  
"Him?" Ryuusei paused for a moment, confused, before finally understanding who his friend was talking about. "Oh, you mean Kuro? Well..." He let the past two hours replay in his mind. "I dunno yet, but... he seems like a decent guy to me? Not _that_ scary. Not like the rumors, you know?"  
  
Koyuki nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah, he's not really scary," he agreed with the slightest relieved sigh. "If anything he seemed more... awkward to me, you know what I mean? Like he's not used to being around people... But I thought that was just me."  
  
"Yep!" Ryuusei grinned up at his friend. "And he's got great taste in food."  
  
Koyuki scrunched up his face in disgust. "What do you both see in pineapple pizza? Mahiru's right, simple is best!"  
  
"You just have no taste, man!"  
  
"Geez, look who's talking!"  
  
"Hey, Kuro would agree with me if he was here."  
  
Koyuki stopped, giving his friend a long look, deep in thought. Then he sighed and smiled. "You're already treating him like a friend, huh?"  
  
Ryuusei froze. "Wha–?!" he spluttered, taken aback. Like a friend? Well, it was true that Kuro seemed like a decent guy to him. Awkward and a little intimidating, sure, but not dangerous or violent at all. But he was still the famed delinquent, wasn't he? Shouldn't he be a little more careful about letting his guard down around someone like that?  
  
"Well," he said at last. "As long as he's not threatening me, I guess there's no point in not being nice to him, y'know?"  
  
"That's not what I mean." Koyuki gave a soft laugh. "I think I know what you're feeling. Kuro's a bit weird, but..." He paused, searching for the right words. "Ryuu-chan... I think I might grow to like him. I want to give him a chance, you know... try to get along with him more, get to know him. It's the same for you, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah." Ryuusei nodded, gazing into the distance. "It's just the same."  
  
\---  
  
It had been one day, and Shuuhei was already spent. Being a class representative was a handful to begin with, but being a class representative during a major school event was nothing short of a hellhole. He'd lost count of how many stupid questions he'd answered, how many plans he'd rearranged at the last minute, and how many classmates he'd had to force to do their job because they didn't want to do it for some illogical reason. To say nothing of all the mishaps that had struck him all day – nothing he hadn't been prepared for, but still a pain in the neck to deal with.  
  
But now everything had been dealt with. Everyone finally, _finally_ knew what they were doing, and Shuuhei could finally relax a little, hoping that no one would bother him again in awhile.  
  
"Tsuyuki-senpai?"  
  
So much for peace.  
  
Sighing, Shuuhei adjusted his glasses, straightening in his seat as his eyes followed the voice to its origin. Standing in the doorframe was that first-year girl from student council, Yosetsu or whatever her name was, Shuuhei didn't care. He wanted to be left alone, that was all he cared about.  
  
She didn't seem to get the message written all over his glare, because she smiled and waved when their gazes met, walking in through the door and making a beeline for him in the classroom. "Tsuyuki-senpai, I'm here to get you! Student council needs your help."  
  
_Not again._ Grimacing, Shuuhei took off his glasses to send her an even deadlier glare, hoping and praying that this time the message would finally get across – in vain. This godforsaken brat just quickened her pace, sitting down on his desk with an even wider smile, blue eyes sparkling. "It's so rare for us to do stuff for student council together!" she gushed, completely ignoring the murderous intent Shuuhei was sending her way. "I barely know more than your name. Do you even know mine? What's my name, Tsuyuki-senpai?"  
  
"I could not care less, because I'm not going." Shuuhei forced himself to stay patient, speaking as slowly as he could, over-enunciating each word to finally make this girl understand his message. "Tell student council they can shove their paperwork down their own throat. I'm staying here."  
  
She puffed her cheeks, pouting, and for a happy, blissful second Shuuhei actually dared to hope that she was about to back off. Then she planted her hands on her hips, and he knew he was doomed. "They told me you'd say that!" she said in a voice that allowed no protest. "And they said they needed your help no matter what, so please come with me before I have to drag you all the way to the student council office! Because I _can!_ "  
  
Shuuhei suppressed the urge to groan. So annoying. Had he also been this annoying as a first-year?  
  
"Yosetsu," he said sharply, and she perked up at the mention of her name. "I'd rather jump from this window than go to the student council office. Tell them to find someone else to torment, but not me!"  
  
She just looked at him with large sparkling eyes.  
  
Shuuhei groaned, not even caring about manners anymore. "What is it?"  
  
"You remember my name!" she cheered, and Shuuhei would have slammed his face against the desk if she hadn't been sitting on it. "But nobody actually calls me Yosetsu, you know? Everyone calls me Tinker. Or Tink, or Tinkerbell, or..."  
  
"Tinker, then," Shuuhei interrupted her, his last bit of patience evaporating. "Leave me alone."  
  
She just jumped off the desk, grabbed his wrist and started dragging him through the classroom, heading for the door.  
  
Shuuhei struggled and yanked, but he couldn't break free. Tinker's grip was iron, and she kept pulling him with the unstoppable energy of a steamroller, even as she bounced in her step and hummed an annoyingly cheerful melody. She was being so lighthearted, so headache-inducingly happy-go-lucky that it took all of Shuuhei's willpower not to punch her in the face even as he watched her with something akin to awe. There weren't many people who were so completely and utterly unfazed by his unwillingness to socialize.  
  
Still, to be dragged by the wrist like that... It almost looked like they were holding hands.  
  
"Let go," he said sharply, stopping in his tracks and yanking his hand back, trying to free it for the millionth time. "I'll follow you wherever you want, but let go of my ha–"  
  
Tinker refused to let go. She stumbled back, knocking against him. Shuuhei tried to steady himself, losing his balance and tripping over himself, quickly extending his free hand to catch their fall. His glasses were knocked off, falling to the ground next to them.  
  
For a second they just sat on the ground, stunned, staring at each other. Tinker's hand was still curled around Shuuhei's wrist, her weight heavy on one of his legs, her face mere inches from his own. Shuuhei blinked. From this distance he could see every minute detail of her features, even without his glasses. He could see the bright sprinkles of silver in her dark blue eyes like stars in a night sky, her long eyelashes that went from dark to palest blonde at the tips, the hint of freckles on her cheekbones, every line of her peach-pink lips that formed a surprised O. She wasn't bad-looking, he realized. There was beauty in her soft features, in all those tiny details he'd never noticed before.  
  
He hadn't been prepared for this.  
  
Turning away, Shuuhei extended his hand, reaching for his glasses. Tinker snapped out of her trance, hurriedly scrambling off his lap. "S-Sorry!" she blurted out, blushing and flailing her hands around in the air. "I'm so sorry, I lost my balance and then I fell and you caught me and I didn't know what was happening and–"  
  
Shuuhei put his glasses back on, still avoiding her gaze as he felt his own face heat up. "It's alright."  
  
"Huh?" She stopped in her tracks. "But–"  
  
" _I said it's fine._ "  
  
There was an awkward silence. Shuuhei gazed down at his shoes, studying the pattern of the leather as if he'd never seen it before. Tinker did the same, fidgeting nervously until she finally spoke up.  
  
"But you know, Tsuyuki-senpai?" she said at last, a soft cheerfulness ringing in her voice. "I'm almost glad we fell like this! Otherwise I'd never have seen your pretty eyes."  
  
Shuuhei looked up. Incredulous, he stared at the girl in front of him, trying to determine if she was serious or not. "Pretty... eyes...?"  
  
"Yeah!" She beamed. "Your eyes are su-per beautiful, it's a shame you hide them behind those glasses! I mean, if you have to wear glasses you could wear a pair that shows them off more... But then again," she grinned from ear to ear, "if you did that, I wouldn't feel so special! I've just seen something of Tsuyuki-senpai no one else in this school has!"  
  
Shuuhei didn't need a mirror to know he was blushing. What Tinker was saying about him so easily, so cheerfully... He wasn't used to this. He wasn't used to being complimented like this, and he didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he didn't dislike it.  
  
It was... cute, actually.  
  
_Tinker_ was cute.  
  
Wait, what was he thinking? He hadn't joined the student council to fall for some girl, no matter how silly and friendly and charming she might be. Yes, Tinker was not unlikable, as a person. Yes, she was considerably attractive, appearance-wise, and she had a wonderfully dazzling smile, but that didn't mean he was going to develop any feelings for her. He wasn't even planning to become friends with her. Charming and pretty or not, she was still in the student council, and nobody in the student council was his friend, let alone anything more.  
  
Why was he even thinking about all this? All his mind had done was call her cute. Just because someone was cute didn't mean he necessarily had to fall for that person... or did he?  
  
"My..." His voice came out a little raspy, and he cleared his throat, only to find it still unsteady. "My eyes aren't that pretty. You are mistaken." _You're the one with pretty eyes,_ he added in his head, only to mentally scold himself for having thoughts like that.  
  
"They _are_ pretty, no need to be shy!" Laughing, Tinker hurried ahead, turning back on her heel to smile and wave at him. "Come on, Tsuyuki-senpai, the others are waiting for us already!"  
  
Shaking his head, Shuuhei followed her, catching up to her in an instant. She smiled, falling into stride next to him and humming a cheerful melody until she finally stopped in her tracks, spinning around and stepping close to Shuuhei, staring up at him with wide eyes.  
  
"What..." Great, there was that rasp in his voice again. What was wrong with him today? "What's the matter?"  
  
"Tsuyuki-senpai," she said to herself, letting the word roll over her tongue like she was testing the taste. "You need a nickname... but I can't think of one! Hmm..." She puffed her cheeks, looking like a blowfish trying to focus. "I've got it!" she burst out at last, beaming from ear to ear. "Your codename's Loki, right? I'm calling you Loki-senpai!"  
  
Shuuhei stared at her, not comprehending a thing. "What are you...?"  
  
"What? I like it!" Smiling, Tinker started walking ahead again, bouncing in her steps until she noticed Shuuhei not following and stopped, still grinning. "What's wrong? Come on, they're gonna send out a search party for us if we don't show up soon! Let's go, Loki-senpai!"  
  
_Loki-senpai, huh._  
  
Even as he shook his head, Shuuhei couldn't help smiling. She really was a strange girl... but perhaps spending time with her wasn't half bad.  
  
\---  
  
"Jun? Hey, Jun!"  
  
Jun looked up from his paperwork to face Yumikage, who was nudging his side and whispering to him across the desk, an urgent frown on his face. "What's the matter, Yumi?"  
  
"Tsurugi." Yumikage pointed to the student council president, who was still immersed in a half-playful, half-serious battle of creative insults with Mikuni, with Jeje looming between them like a grade school teacher trying to keep the problem children from starting a fight. "Don't you think he's acting weird?"  
  
Jun followed his Yumikage's gaze, observing Tsurugi closely. At first glance their friend seemed to be acting the same as usual; he was still lighthearted and cheerful while oozing poison from his every pore, throwing insult after insult at his sworn nemesis with a smile that would make every Cheshire cat proud. There was nothing strange about him, and Jun was a second away from turning away and telling Yumikage he was imagining things when he saw it too.  
  
Tsurugi's eyes were constantly on Mikuni. Not just casually resting on him and observing his reactions to each new insult, but positively inhaling his every move, taking in the tiniest details as if the answers to all the questions of the universe lay hidden behind the features of Mikuni's face. And Tsurugi's eyes... There was something off about them. It might just be Jun's imagination, but to him they looked... sad, somehow. His mouth might be smiling, but there was no joy in his eyes, only loneliness and nostalgia and something akin to regret.  
  
Turning back towards Yumikage, he frowned. "He's..."  
  
"Yeah." Leaning closer to Jun, Yumikage lowered his voice to a hoarse whisper, his eyes darkening. "Jun," he hissed, "what do you think happened between Tsurugi and Mikuni? You know why they got..." He gestured to the bickering pair. "...all fucked up, like this? They used to be best buds!"  
  
Jun sighed, turning back to Tsurugi and Mikuni. Yumikage was right, something strange must have happened between them. Up until a year ago, these two had been inseparable; they had been perfectly in sync, doing everything together, fighting together, playing pranks together, ruining people's lives together. They had shared everything, time, rooms, inside jokes, secrets. And then...  
  
And then something had happened. Jun didn't know what; all he knew was that from one day to the next, Mikuni had left. Just turned on his heel and left, taking Jeje with him, leaving Tsurugi feeling betrayed and devastated in ways neither Yumikage nor Jun could fully comprehend. He had never told them what happened, never told them if they'd had a fight or what had led to Mikuni's sudden change of heart.  
  
What was it that had happened between them? Whatever it was, Tsurugi clearly hadn't wanted it. Was it a one-sided thing? A misunderstanding?  
  
Had Mikuni even cared about Tsurugi to begin with?  
  
Jun let all their interactions flash through his head, searching for a hint, a sign that their friendship had been mutual, that Mikuni had cared and not just taken advantage of Tsurugi's attachment to him. _Of course he cared,_ part of his mind insisted. _They were inseparable. They did everything together. Mikuni wouldn't have done that if he didn't care.  
_  
And yet... why couldn't he think of a single sign that Tsurugi hadn't been the only one who got attached?  
  
He looked back at Yumikage, who met his gaze with a grim frown. "I don't know," he admitted. "Tsurugi never told us... or anyone, I think. Actually..." Leaning closer, he lowered his voice until it was barely a whisper. "Actually, I'm not even sure Mikuni ever cared about Tsurugi at all."  
  
"Huh? What's that mean?" Yumikage looked both confused and irritated. "They were always together, right? The freak combo that did everything in sync! There's no way they didn't care about each other, that's bull–"  
  
"I thought so too," Jun whispered, shushing him. "But do we have any proof that Mikuni cared?"  
  
"He's got a poker face–"  
  
"As does Tsurugi. And he's got his feelings written all over his face, just look at him."  
  
"We know him better–"  
  
"I'm starting to think we might not know him at all." Jun sighed, throwing another glance at their friend to find him still gazing at Mikuni with that strange, almost wistful look. Was this the look someone gave their former best friend after falling out? Just going by his gut feeling, Jun would almost have guessed that this was the way someone would look at–  
  
No. Impossible.  
  
Or was it?  
  
Just going by his gut feeling, Jun would have guessed that this was the way someone would look at a lost lover.  
  
Was this why Tsurugi had never told them what happened? Was this why he still wasn't over their falling out? It was only a guess, but in a very strange way it seemed to make sense. He could be misunderstanding it all. But it was a founded suspicion, a suspicion that needed looking into. If this might be the reason, then he had to know. They had to know, he and Yumi both. They needed to know, or they couldn't help their best friend.  
  
"Jun-chan, Yumi-chan!" Tsurugi called over from his desk, cheerfully as ever. "What are you whispering about? Let us in on the secret!"  
  
Jun looked at him and frowned. Turning back to his paperwork, he took one of the pages and scribbled down a note, pushing it over for Yumikage to read.  
  
_Let's talk to Mikuni after this. Maybe he'll tell us something._


	23. Dream a Little Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small, nagging voice whispered in his mind, sneaking around him, always just out of reach.

Kuro was just about to curl up on his bed with some snacks and the newest game on his phone, giving himself some well-earned rest, when there was a knock on his door.  
  
He was just about to ignore it and hope that whoever had the audacity to knock now of all times would give up and leave when a familiar voice caught his attention. "Hey, Kuro, can I come in?"  
  
Sitting upright, Kuro put down the phone, jumping off the bed and walking across the room to open the door. Mahiru was standing on the other side of it, brown eyes widened slightly with surprise, a small smile on his face. "You opened the door? That's rare," he said with a laugh. "I thought today you'd wanna stay on the bed and not move for a week, after all that exercise."  
  
"Well..." Blushing a little, Kuro averted his gaze, staring his socks. For some weird reason he didn't feel like moving to open the door was a chore today. Maybe it was that he'd already moved around so much that one more time simply didn't make a difference... or maybe it was just because of Mahiru. Maybe he wouldn't have bothered to get up if it had been someone else knocking. But there was no way he could tell him that! It was so embarrassing he could barely bear to think it.  
  
"What a pain," he said instead, yawning and stretching. "You got me so used to moving around that I did it again. Gotta go back to energy-saving mode before it turns into a habit."  
  
"Hey, _I_ wouldn't mind if it became a habit!" Giving him a playful nudge to the ribs, Mahiru walked in, closing the door and taking a look around, his eyes resting on the phone and snacks lying on the bed. "Oh, were you getting ready to relax?"  
  
"I always relax unless you drag me around to do exhausting stuff," Kuro replied, sitting back down on the bed, reaching for a bag of chips. _Which I don't mind half as much as I probably should,_ he added in his mind. Another embarrassing thought. Had the exercise muddled his brain to make him think all these embarrassing thoughts?  
  
"Exhausting? _Life_ 's exhausting to you! You can't just spend the next couple decades of your life hiding in your room, playing video games and avoiding your adult responsibilities!" Planting his hands on his hips, Mahiru gave him the look of a scolding mother before his expression softened and he sat down next to Kuro. "But that's not why I'm here right now." He took off the backpack still slung over his shoulder, unzipping one of the pockets to pull out something he held out towards Kuro. "Here."  
  
Kuro took the item in his hands, his eyes widening with surprise. It was a cup of his favorite brand of ramen, the rich, delicious kind that Mahiru always called too expensive, refusing to buy it for him whenever they went to the nearby store. "That's..."  
  
Mahiru gave him a lopsided grin. "Did I get the brand right? I wanted to get you your favorites."  
  
"Well... I mean..." Blushing hard, Kuro lowered his head until his bangs fell into his face, obscuring his eyes. His voice lowered down to a mumble as he replied, "Yeah... but... Why?"  
  
"Isn't that obvious?" Mahiru answered, laughing. "It's a reward. You did great today."  
  
 _You're wrong,_ Kuro thought, almost blurting it out loud. He hadn't done anything special, and he certainly hadn't done well. He'd been awkward and clumsy and messed up over and over again and probably creeped Mahiru's friends out completely. He had acted like a complete weirdo, a walking disaster. He hadn't even played that well or anything. He had done nothing to deserve a reward.  
  
He didn't say that. He just turned the ramen cup in his hands, still avoiding Mahiru's gaze. "What did I do?"  
  
"You tried really hard," Mahiru said matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Before Kuro could open his mouth to protest, he placed a hand on his shoulder, a smile in his warm voice as he added, "I could tell you were trying your hardest to get along with Ryuusei and Koyuki today. I'm sure they got it too."  
  
"What a pain... you're overestimating me again." Putting the ramen cup back in Mahiru's hands, Kuro flopped down on the mattress, hiding his face in the pillow. "I didn't do a thing."  
  
"You're wrong!"  
  
Kuro raised his head, startled by the abrupt change in Mahiru's voice. His friend sounded angry all of a sudden, upset, almost a little sad. Why was he so upset? Had Kuro said something wrong?  
  
Should he not have voiced his self-doubt? It had to get on everyone's nerves. Mahiru might have the patience of a saint, but even he had to get tired of it eventually. And after he'd gone out of his way to get him a reward too... It had to sound so ungrateful to him. Like a rejection of his kindness.  
  
"Sorry," Kuro mumbled against the pillow, just loudly enough for Mahiru to hear. "I didn't–"  
  
"Kuro, you idiot!" Mahiru burst out, punching his shoulder. "I'm overestimating you? You're wrong! You're so wrong! You're underestimating yourself!"  
  
Kuro caught his breath. What was Mahiru talking about? He sounded like he meant everything he said... but that couldn't be right. It couldn't be true. Kuro knew exactly what he could do and what he couldn't. It was Mahiru who kept believing he could do anything no matter how many times he was proven wrong, Mahiru who somehow still thought well of him when no one else did. Wasn't the majority vote cluing him in at all?  
  
"I'm not underestimating myself... what a pain." Kuro reached his arms under the pillow, pulling it closer to his face. "I've just been around myself for so long that I know my strengths and weaknesses." _Now please shut up about it. Shut up before I start believing you and get happy._  
  
"Idiot," Mahiru said again, giving his shoulder another nudge, softer this time. "Some things can't be seen from your own perspective. Okay, you were a bit awkward today but you tried so hard. You teamed up with Ryuusei and Koyuki when they knocked me over in the break. You got them to talk me into skipping a class. You saved Koyuki's cookies. You offered us your chips. You bonded over pineapple pizza with Ryuusei. I could basically watch them lose their fear of you! Are you telling me that's not worth being proud of?"  
  
Kuro closed his eyes, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Why? Why did Mahiru's words make him so unreasonably happy? Why did they sound so right, so true? Mahiru always knew how to make him feel better about himself. He just had to tell him about his good points, his achievements, and Kuro believed it, believed his every word no matter what his own self-esteem said. Was it because Mahiru had a way with words, because he just knew how to make people feel better and encourage them? Or was it just because it was Mahiru saying all these things?  
  
He didn't deserve him. But he was so, so glad to have him in his life.  
  
"Thanks," he mumbled quietly, still not raising his head. His voice was shaky, half a whisper, almost swallowed by the pillow, but Mahiru seemed to hear him anyway. A warm hand rested on his back, patting it gently, and Kuro couldn't help but wish time would stop and they'd stay like this forever.  
  
"It's fine," Mahiru said softly, a smile in his voice. "I know a self-esteem's kind of a tricky thing. Not always easy to rebuild if it's been shattered. But..." Grabbing Kuro's shirt, he yanked him upright, turning him around to meet his eyes as he continued. "But I'll keep saying this stuff till you start believing in yourself again, okay? I don't care how many times I have to tell you you're better than you think you are. Don't even think I'll stop!"  
  
Kuro looked at him, saw the determination glowing warm in his brown eyes. Mahiru meant it. He meant every word. He really was planning to give Kuro pep talk after pep talk after pep talk, encouraging him every time he lost his courage. Mahiru really was planning to do it as often as he needed to.  
  
It didn't make sense. Every reasonable human being should be fed up with Kuro's low self-esteem by now. Every reasonable human being should have grown annoyed and told him off or just ditched him.  
  
Well, Mahiru wasn't exactly reasonable to begin with.  
  
But maybe an unreasonable idiot like him was exactly what Kuro needed right now.  
  
Sighing, Kuro dropped his gaze, unable to stop the blush creeping on his face as he took the ramen cup out of Mahiru's hands. For the fragment of a split second his lips curled up into the tiniest hint of a smile.  
  
"You really are a pain." Kuro reached for Mahiru's hand, took it and squeezed it. "Don't change."  
  
\---  
  
"Mikuni, just a moment."  
  
The student council vice-president looked up, brown eyes widening slightly as they came to rest on Jun standing in the doorframe, with Yumikage close behind. Tsurugi had disappeared on an errand his friends had sent them on, with the promise to buy him snacks as payment; Shuuhei and Tinker had already returned to their classrooms, unless they were still taking their time to flirt along the way.  
  
"Oh, if this isn't Jun-san and Yumi-san," he remarked, his expression unreadable as ever. "Am I being summoned by the student council, like in an anime? Are you trying to threaten me?"  
  
Yumikage's face distorted into an angry grimace, but Jun spoke up before he could. "We're just trying to talk to you, Mikuni. There's something we need to know."  
  
"Something I know and you don't?" Mikuni laughed, waving it off. "I'm sure there's nothing like that. What could a simple man like me possibly know that you haven't heard yet?"  
  
Jun continued to look at him, his expression grave, a frown darkening his features. "What happened between you and Tsurugi?"  
  
Mikuni froze. For a split second his smiling mask slid off, revealing the fear in his eyes, flickering like the survival instincts of a cornered beast. Then he smiled again, less innocently this time. Stepping closer, he lowered his voice and whispered, "So this is why you sent Tsurugi-san on that pointless errand, is it? I'm surprised I didn't notice earlier."  
  
"You avoiding our questions, you little punk?" Marching past Jun, Yumikage stormed up to Mikuni, grabbing his collar and shaking him. "Tell us what you did to Tsurugi, bastard! You wanna die?"  
  
Jun stepped between them before Mikuni could answer. "Yumi, calm down! Have some patience." Yumikage hesitated, then he let go with a click of his tongue and an unintelligible grumble. Sighing, Jun turned back to Mikuni as he added, "We've noticed that Tsurugi still cares about you a lot even now that you're enemies. It makes us wonder what happened between you two, you know? You used to be inseparable, so why'd you fall out all of a sudden?"  
  
It might have been his imagination, but for the tiniest fragment of a second Jun thought he could see a glint of emotion in Mikuni's eyes. Something akin to surprise, then sadness... regret? Was he imagining things? Was Mikuni even capable of emotions like that?  
  
"Well," Mikuni said with a mock sigh, returning back to normal in a heartbeat, "friendships don't always last forever. It's as tragic as it is true."  
  
There was nothing to get out of him this way, was there? Mikuni would just continue spouting phrases like that until they gave up and left. Jun had seen it happen before, back when everyone still used to get along.  
  
That didn't mean he wouldn't ask at least one more question, though. One that even Yumi didn't know about.  
  
"I'm just getting the impression that you and Tsurugi used to be more than friends, Mikuni."  
  
The room fell so silent one could have heard a pin drop.  
  
Yumikage inhaled with a sharp hiss. Turning around, he stepped up to Jun, grabbing his shoulders, his eyes wide with shock. "Jun, what the fuck?" he whispered, his fingers digging into Jun's shoulders. "Are you serious? You're not just saying this to mess with him, right?"  
  
"Yumi, calm down." Jun placed a hand on one of his friend's arms, trying to sound as stoic as he wasn't feeling at the moment. "I'll explain everything later. But yeah, I'm dead serious."  
  
The hands on his shoulders tightened their grip, their knuckles turning white. Yumikage didn't say anything. He just lowered his head, gritting his teeth. Jun could sense the rage building up inside him like red-hot lava, threatening to erupt at any second like a volcano. _Please stay calm,_ he silently begged him. _We'll never get anything out of Mikuni if you get mad.  
_  
Jun glanced over to Mikuni, hoping to see something, anything to prove him wrong, to show him that his fears weren't justified. Something to prove that the situation between them wasn't even more complicated than it already looked. There was nothing. Mikuni's expression had already recovered, if it had ever slipped in the first place, the ever-unreadable smile masking all feelings underneath; but his eyes betrayed him, flickering and glimmering with emotion, shock, fear, sadness, pain. They reflected all the same feelings that had shown in Tsurugi's eyes, even as he smiled from ear to ear.  
  
 _You can't be serious._  
  
Hoping that it was just his imagination, Jun turned to Yumikage, searching for a disproval of his own fears. Surely Yumi hadn't seen what he saw. Surely his words hadn't hit the bullseye, exposing a secret Mikuni and Tsurugi had been trying to hide from them for years.  
  
Yumikage looked back at him, and Jun knew instantly. It hadn't just been his imagination. He was right.  
  
"What are you talking about, Jun-san?" Mikuni laughed as if the idea was the most ridiculous notion in the world, and for once in his life Jun wished with all his heart that he didn't know it was fake. "I have never cared for Tsurugi-san. Whatever happened between us was all on his side. I ended it before he could get too carried away is all."  
  
 _Liar,_ Jun wanted to shout, but he didn't need to. Yumikage let go of his shoulders, clenching his fists. His back trembled with fury.  
  
" _You...!_ " he burst out. "What did you do to Tsurugi, you monster!"  
  
Without waiting for Mikuni's reply, he launched himself at him. Mikuni leaped aside. Yumikage swung his fists. Mikuni dodged the punch. Another one. And another one. Yumikage chased after him. "Come over here, you bastard!" he roared, his eyes glowing with blind rage, his face a contorted mask of fury. "I'll make you pay for breaking Tsurugi's heart! I'll kill you!"  
  
Jun snapped out of his daze. He had to step in, or someone would get hurt. Hurrying after his friend, he caught hold of Yumikage's arms, yanking and dragging him back. "Yumi, cut it out! Violence isn't the answer!"  
  
"Let go, Jun!" Yumikage struggled against his grip. "He used Tsurugi all along! Let me go! I have to end his life!"  
  
Mikuni laughed, dancing back and forth, in and out of the reach of Yumikage's furious kicks. "Manners, Yumi-san, manners! If you continue acting like a wild beast, I won't be surprised if you get suspended." Smiling, he turned around, waved, and disappeared down the hallway. "It was nice talking to you! Goodbye!"  
  
"You dirty son of a bitch!" Yumikage called after him, his voice doubling over and getting hoarse from shouting. "Just you wait till I catch you! Touch Tsurugi again and I'll rip out your heart and eat it alive, motherfucker!"  
  
Mikuni didn't slow down until Yumikage's furious yells faded behind him, and he only came to a halt when he finally saw Jeje, sitting and waiting for him in the staircase. It might have been his imagination, rendered overactive by his still shaken mind, but for some reason he felt those red eyes judging him from behind those paper bags, as if his bodyguard knew exactly what was going on.  
  
"My, where was my bodyguard when I needed him?" he said with a cheerfulness that was entirely fake, a desperate attempt to act like everything was normal. "I got attacked, you know?"  
  
Jeje didn't move from his spot on the railing. "You survived."  
  
"But what if I hadn't?" Mikuni glared at him in mock terror. "It would've been your fault if I got killed? Hmm, since you're so unreliable, I wonder if I should cut your salary?"  
  
Jeje still didn't seem too impressed. "You never pay me anyway," he said in mild annoyance.  
  
"I pay you in kindness! Doesn't that count?"  
  
Jeje didn't answer. Mikuni's fake smile faded. There was no need to pretend. His bodyguard knew something was wrong, and he was silently urging him to bring it up and tell him what had happened.  
  
Maybe he should. Jeje already knew large parts of the story; he'd been there when it had all begun, when Tsurugi had first picked him up after he'd left home and run away with his bodyguard, looking for a place to stay. He had watched them go from strangers to companions and friends, and eventually to something more that neither of them knew how to call; he had been their secret keeper, the one who was in on things even Yumikage and Jun had no idea about, and he had witnessed their falling out, their breakup, whatever one wanted to call it. The only thing Jeje didn't know about was the encounter just now... and Mikuni's feelings.  
  
Well, who was he kidding. There was no need to tell him about either; Jeje had probably guessed everything.  
  
His bodyguard still continued to give him that look. Mikuni tried to smile again, but the mask faded as soon as he put it on. There was no getting around telling Jeje at least part of the truth.  
  
"You know, it's a shame you had to go on ahead earlier," he said, trying to sound cheerful despite the jumbled mess of uninvited emotions in his chest. "You missed Jun-san and Yumi-san stopping me to talk about Tsurugi-san."  
  
Jeje's eyes were unreadable, resting on him with calm curiosity, observing him from behind the paper bags. Mikuni swallowed. Once again he wished he could just yank those bags off his face and look at him directly, just so he could see his expression and know what he was thinking. "They asked me why I left him back then." Mikuni faked a laugh. "Strange thing to think of now, isn't it?"  
  
Jeje still continued to look at him with that unreadable expression. "What did you say?"  
  
"Well..." Mikuni laughed again, sounding almost desperate. "I may or may not have said that I never liked Tsurugi-san in the first place and only used him because he was so attached to me."  
  
Jeje gave him a long look before he sighed quietly, jumping off the railing. "How did you get out alive?"  
  
"Well, definitely not thanks to my trusty bodyguard!" Mikuni replied, still faking a laugh and dodging the attack Jeje threw at him. "I ran, of course! But you're lucky you didn't lose your job!"  
  
"You're evading the topic."  
  
Mikuni stopped in his tracks. There was something in Jeje's voice that made him pause, something that tolerated no excuses and no protest. Jeje knew the truth.  
  
 _Damn it._  
  
"You're calling me a liar, aren't you?" Mikuni's smile disappeared for good. He frowned, an almost sad expression crossing his face as he pushed his hat over his eyes. "Is that what you're trying to say, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje didn't answer. Mikuni sighed quietly. Of course it was a yes. Of course Jeje was calling him out on his lies, those cheap lies that had worked on everyone else, words destined to hurt others yet hurting himself as he said them. He did care about Tsurugi. He always had. Back when Tsurugi had picked him up, he hadn't known where to go. He had given up all hope that anyone but Jeje would ever understand him, accept him for who he was, without any repercussions. Then Tsurugi had appeared and given him a home, a place to belong. He had given him the feeling of being understood and welcome, that he wasn't the only one in the world who was like this. The two of them had been alike, two reflections in the mirror, long-lost blood brothers.  
  
Being with Tsurugi had been fun. They had shared everything, done everything together. They had been in sync like one single heartbeat, one mind and soul separated into two bodies. It was an unstoppable combination, feared by enemies and friends alike – for their deadly proficiency in battle on one side, for their neverending pranks and telepathic communication on the other. It had only been a matter of time until they grew closer... and closer. Friendship had turned to more, a secret _something_ neither of them could put into words. "Relationship" wouldn't quite cut it. They had never been that serious about it. It had always seemed like an afterthought of their friendship, the natural conclusion of their infinite closeness.  
  
Then things had changed. Mikuni had found out about the student council's true goals, and he hadn't agreed with them. He hadn't agreed with the things Tsurugi fought for, the things everyone fought for, including himself. For the first time in his life he had disagreed with Tsurugi over something – Tsurugi, who had always seemed like his other half, his soulmate.  
  
It had been the beginning of a downward slope. Tsurugi began to grow stranger and stranger to him. The more his partner fought for the student council's cause, the more he forced Mikuni to fight by his side, the less Mikuni understood him, understood what was going on in his head and heart. He just knew he hated this. He hated falling out of sync with him. He hated the way they wouldn't speak in sync anymore, the way their teamwork disintegrated when they fought side by side. And still they had been close off the battlefield, sharing secret moments where no one would look for them, living and breathing and feeling in sync again just for a few hours. Just enough hours to make Mikuni doubt his convictions, doubt that someone like Kamiya Tsurugi would fight for the wrong thing.  
  
It couldn't go on like this.  
  
No matter what he was feeling, Mikuni couldn't just abandon his own ideals and plans like that. He was in the right. He couldn't let anyone pull him over to the wrong side, not even the boy who seemed to be his soulmate.  
  
He had to cut ties and go his own way. He didn't want to hurt Tsurugi or break his heart, and he didn't want to leave, but there was no other option. So Mikuni had done it. Lied about not caring for Tsurugi. Ditched him, packed his things and left with Jeje, deleting Tsurugi's number and locking all happy memories away in his chest, throwing away the key. A school was big. It was easy enough to avoid one person if one really wanted to and didn't have the misfortune of being their classmate. For some time it had worked well enough.  
  
Then Tsurugi – that treacherous, sneaky bastard Tsurugi – had dragged him back into student council and made him the vice-president.  
  
And Mikuni had been an idiot. He had been stupid, he had been blind, and he had believed that he'd brought enough distance between them, that he only hated Tsurugi now. He had accepted the job, just to keep an eye on him.  
  
It had been a mistake.  
  
And more mistakes had followed. He should never have let Tsurugi talk him into working together for the sports festival. He should never have turned up today. He should never have kept to their temporary ceasefire. Why hadn't he just turned his back on him again? Just ditched him and walked off? He had done it before. Why couldn't he do it again? What was keeping him? Honor? He had thrown that out the window a long time ago.  
  
Well, who was he kidding. He knew exactly what was keeping him. And he hated it with every fiber of his being.  
  
Jeje was still looking at him with those eyes, and Mikuni wondered if he expected an answer. Did he expect Mikuni to tell him about everything? There was no point. Jeje had guessed it all a long time ago, anyway.  
  
"Why are you still looking at me like that?" he asked, trying to smile as innocently as possible and probably failing. "Is there anything on my face, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje shook his head and took a step towards him. His voice was blunt as he spoke again, straight to the point. "Why did you leave him back then?"  
  
Mikuni stared at him. It wasn't like Jeje to ask him that so directly. Why now of all times? Why ask him a question he already knew the answer to?  
  
"Easy," he said, still putting on his unreadable happy mask. "If I have to choose between Tsurugi-san and my standards, I won't think twice about which one I'll pick. Right, Abel?"  
  
The doll stared back at him with blank button eyes. Mikuni felt a chill. Even her cute face seemed to be calling him a liar.  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya didn't have to look at his phone to know who had texted him. He simply knew as soon as it buzzed in his pocket.  
  
Looking around to make sure no one was watching him, he took it out, one glance at the screen telling him he'd been right. The text was from Tsubaki, of course; nobody else would bother to text him in class, even if it was just homeroom and they were using the hour to practice their cheering routine, technically; in reality, it mostly consisted of long breaks while someone rearranged the formation or started discussions about different moves. Like they were doing right now.  
  
Sakuya smirked. For once in his life, Tsubaki had actually managed to hit a perfect timing with his texts.  
  
He opened the message, preparing for whatever nonsense Tsubaki had thought of this time. It was a picture; namely, a selfie of Tsubaki and Berukia, wearing their gym jerseys and striking goofy poses at the camera. Tsubaki had managed to find a silly-looking headband somewhere, showing it off with pride, and Berukia had "borrowed" a pair of badminton bats to hold them to his head like a pair of alien antennas or something. They looked every bit as stupid as ever.  
  
Sakuya was torn between laughing and second-hand embarrassment as he typed a reply. _whats with the pic Tsubaki-san? Doesnt that belong in the grp chat or smth  
_  
Tsubaki's reply was almost immediate, as usual. _I wanted to send this to you!_ he wrote. _Having fun with Beru at practice! Are you jealous? :D_  
  
 _nah im good._ Sakuya rolled his eyes as he typed. _not so bored that id wanna change it for "practice" w/ u two_  
  
This time Tsubaki took longer to reply, and Sakuya's eyes roamed back over their messages, coming to rest on Tsubaki's last text. Wait a minute...  
  
 _Are you jealous?_  
  
Jealous of what, exactly? Jealous of them having fun while he was stuck in the classroom with a group that was arguing and discussing more than actually being productive? Or... jealous that Berukia was with Tsubaki and he wasn't?  
  
His face heated up. No, no, no. Tsubaki couldn't possibly mean that second option. Why should he? He and Berukia were almost always together, anyway! They were best friends and in the same year and had been classmates for the longest time. Everyone was used to them being inseparable. Why should he...  
  
A small, nagging voice whispered in his mind, sneaking around him, always just out of reach. _Why do you think he texted that to you instead of the group like he usually does?_ It chuckled. _He's trying to make you jealous. What other explanation is there?_  
  
He shook it off. No need to read too much into it. Tsubaki was just an attention-seeker by nature, and Sakuya's attention was rare and hard to come by, what with them keeping their friendship a secret from people. He probably knew that Sakuya would have ignored the picture if he'd sent it to the group chat, that was all.  
  
Sakuya's phone buzzed again as Tsubaki's reply popped up on the screen. _You're always so harsh OTL But it's okay, I like you anyway!_  
  
 _Like..._ Sakuya could feel his face heating up again, an awkward fluttery feeling stirring in his chest. What was wrong with him? Tsubaki just meant it in a friendly way, the way he said it to everyone in the gang. This was the guy who platonically told his best friend he loved him, on a regular basis, for crying out loud! So why was he so embarrassed?  
  
Still, he had to reply something. And embarrassing as it was, he couldn't bring himself to answer with anything but the truth. He simply didn't have the heart.  
  
 _i like u too Tsubaki-san... ur kind of annoying sometimes bt i like u anyway_  
  
Sakuya turned off the screen and tucked the phone in his pockets, hiding his face in his hands as he blushed, his own heartbeat pounding in his ears like the bass of his favorite song. _Please don't reply to this. Please don't reply to this. Please don't reply to this._  
  
Who was he kidding. Of course Tsubaki would text him back after a message like this. And his message would probably make him die from embarrassment.  
  
"You okay over there, Sakuya?"  
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin. Taking his hands off his face, he saw that half the class was watching him with interest, some looking curious, some genuinely puzzled, most of them smirking with mischief and amusement. "Who are you texting?"  
  
"I..." Sakuya fidgeted, hurriedly trying to think of a plausible excuse that wouldn't just resort in more uncomfortable questions. "Uh, well..." He faked a laugh. Dammit, why couldn't he think of anything?  
  
Their grins got wider, and Sakuya knew he was screwed. "Are you texting your girlfriend, Sakuya?"  
  
Sakuya blushed even brighter than he had before. "What? N-No!"  
  
"Aw look, he's blushing!"  
  
"Who is it? C'mon, Sakuya, tell us!"  
  
Sakuya gritted his teeth, trying to hide his blush behind his hands, and opened his mouth to object when an idea popped into his head. "Okay, fine, I admit it," he said with a long-practiced mischievous grin, leaning forward and lowering his voice as if he was telling them something man wasn't meant to know. "You found out about my super-secret girlfriend! But you can't tell anyone I told you about her, or else you'll be in big trouble!" He made a scary face for dramatic effect.  
  
The others stared at him, their expressions ranging from awe and amusement to surprise and mild fear. Sakuya cheered inwardly. Success! They'd bought the story, more or less. Them thinking he had a secret girlfriend was infinitely better than any of them knowing he was texting Tsubaki. The implication that Tsubaki had made him react the way a girlfriend would wasn't anything he would think about for the moment, and neither was the fact that he'd essentially just called Tsubaki his girlfriend.  
  
One by one, his classmates crowded around him with an onslaught of questions, wanting to see his phone, asking for pictures of the mystery girlfriend. Sakuya climbed a nearby desk to try and keep them at bay. "H-Hey, guys!" he exclaimed, hoping and praying that they wouldn't notice the panic in his voice. "I can't show you anything! She's really tight about privacy, okay? I shouldn't even have told you guys!"  
  
His phone buzzed in his pocket again. Sakuya groaned inwardly. Perfect timing.  
  
He tried to ignore it, in vain. The others kept staring at him expectantly, with the most blatantly, embarrassingly curious smiles on their faces. "Aren't you going to read it?"  
  
Sakuya fidgeted nervously. "Later."  
  
"Aw, but what if she gets upset because you're not replying? Sakuya's gonna make a girl cry!"  
  
"No way, Sakuya! I didn't know you were such a lousy boyfriend!"  
  
"Read it! Read it! Read it! Read it!"  
  
"Shut up," Sakuya mumbled, turning away as he took his phone out of his pocket, careful to shield the screen from everyone's curious looks. Tsubaki's message was every bit as embarrassing and emotional as he'd feared it would. _SAKUYA...! That was unexpected... you're so nice TT_TT I took a screencap of that message so I can look at it forever!_  
  
Sakuya cringed inwardly, trying to force down the blush as he replied, _are u gonna blackmail me w/ this Tsubaki-san?_  
  
Tsubaki's reply only took a few seconds. _OF COURSE NOT! o_O_  
  
The typing sign instantly popped up again, and a minute later another message from Tsubaki lit up on the screen. _By the way, Sakuyaaa? Since I sent you a picture of me, why don't you take a picture of yourself too? :3_  
  
Sakuya stared blankly at the expectant-looking smiley face. For some reason he could see Tsubaki's puppy-dog eyes through the black dots that thing had for eyes, and to say that it was creeping him out was putting it mildly. But more importantly, how was he supposed to react? The others would definitely ask if he took a picture right in front of everyone. But just telling Tsubaki no wasn't an option either. He'd start sulking and make Sakuya bribe him with food or an embarrassing friendly gesture to cheer up again, as always.  
  
"Hey, Sakuya! What did she say?"  
  
An idea popped into his head. "She wants to see a pic of the cheer squad!" he said, turning around and striking a pose even as he opened the camera on his phone. "Everybody say cheese!"  
  
A moment later Sakuya hit the Send button on an outstandingly silly picture of himself and the entire cheer squad of the class posing behind him. _here goes_  
  
Tsubaki texted back in a second. _This is PERFECT! Hold on, Sakuya, I'm making it my lockscreen! ^u^_  
  
 _please dont. its embarrassing and ppl will see_  
  
 _No fair QAQ It's such a good picture, it's too good to just stay on my phone like this!_  
  
 _sorry_  
  
Sakuya hesitated for a bit, then he typed in the next message. Oh, he was going to regret this, wasn't he? But for some stupid reason he wanted to do it anyway. Maybe he was finally catching Tsubaki's stupidity.  
  
 _in return uh... wanna take a pic together later?  
  
like u cant use it as a lockscreen either but  
  
just to make up for making u hide the other one too yknow_  
  
He didn't wait for the reply. When his phone buzzed in his pocket he didn't have to look at the screen to know exactly what Tsubaki's response was.  
  
\---  
  
 _Where... am I?_  
  
Hyde looked around, taking in a sight that was painfully familiar to him. He was standing in the middle of a small but cozy room, with a bed with an oversized blanket and a collection of a dozen pillows and an old desk under the window, the rays of the sun smiling inside and falling on the countless books in the shelf and the theater posters on the wall. Hyde could still name every single one of them without looking. Even the collection of notebooks on the desk was the same, the inkstand and quill that he'd always used to write because it was so old-fashioned and fascinating.  
  
His childhood room. The place he'd lived in before going to high school... his old home. The place where he'd first seen _her_.  
  
Following a sudden impulse, Hyde stumbled across the room, climbed on the desk and opened the window, a motion that had never stopped being familiar, even after years. He knew she shouldn't be there, she couldn't be. And yet he couldn't help hoping.  
  
The window across the street opened, and Hyde held his breath. _Ophelia._ She was there, right across the street, sitting in the window and smiling just like old times, just like the first time they'd met, all those years ago. She was taller than back then, her hair longer, but her legs were dangling in the air like they always had, and her eyes were as green as always, her bright smile, the beauty mark under her eye just the same. It was her. It really was.  
  
How could this be? Was this a dream?  
  
"Ophelia!" Hyde called across the street, and she smiled. Sliding back into her room, she disappeared quickly and reemerged with a sign in her hands, holding it up for him to read. _MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS!_  
  
Hyde didn't hesitate. Spinning around, he leaped off the desk without bothering to close the window and started running, tripping over himself, almost falling down the stairs but catching himself and running, running. He didn't care what this was. Ophelia was here. Ophelia wanted to talk to him. He had to get to her, as quickly as possible.  
  
The way downstairs had never been so long. Hyde was breathless when he rushed through the door, not even caring to put on shoes, stumbling across the street to meet Ophelia at her garden fence, panting. She laughed and climbed across the fence to join him, and suddenly there was nothing to separate them anymore. It was just the two of them, face to face, like they had always been.  
  
"Hyde," she said quietly, and Hyde felt his heart skip a beat even as her voice twisted a knife in his heart. This wasn't real... but it sounded, it felt so real. But it couldn't be real. He had seen her die in his own arms... and yet here she was, alive and smiling as if nothing had happened, as if everything up till now had been nothing but a bad dream.  
  
"Ophelia," he whispered, his voice hoarse and crumbling. He wanted to say more, but the words caught in his throat, a giant lump he couldn't swallow.  
  
Her smile turned almost sad, as if she knew what had happened and what was going on in his heart. "It's been awhile."  
  
"Uh... Yeah."  
  
Hyde looked at his shoes, not knowing what else to say. For a moment the world fell silent. The only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat, pounding like a thousand drums.  
  
Then a warm hand closed around his wrist, and he looked up. Ophelia's soft, slender fingers were curled around his palm, and she smiled, starting to walk and pulling him along. "Come on, don't hang your head like that! I have someone to show you."  
  
Hyde followed her in a daze. She led him down the street, then around a corner and down another. They left the neighborhood, following unfamiliar roads that looked vaguely like places Hyde had seen in a movie once, but he couldn't remember the title or when he'd seen it and where. The houses passed, making way to a sunlit forest, and still Ophelia continued walking, never turning, never stopping. Hyde could only follow her and wonder where they were going.  
  
The forest closed in around them, growing darker and darker. The wind carried a melody to them, quiet and distant at first, barely discernible between the rustling of the leaves and their footsteps. Then it grew closer and closer, louder, a rich, powerful piece of music, passionate yet loving and warm at the same time. Hyde closed his eyes and let the music flow through him, each note pulling at his heartstrings and filling his chest with indescribable emotion. He'd heard this music before. He didn't know where, he didn't know how. All he knew was that each and every note was making his heart twist with painful familiarity.  
  
Ophelia came to a halt. Hyde stopped next to her and opened his eyes. Where were they? What did she want to show him here, in the middle of nowhere?  
  
They were standing at the edge of a glade, deep in the heart of the forest. The ground beneath their feet was covered in soft grass, dancing quietly in the light of the sun, golden-green under the summer leaves. Standing in the middle of the glade was a grand piano, ringing with every new note played on it.  
  
A piano? Here?  
  
Ophelia stepped closer, still holding his hand. Hyde followed her. She gestured to the figure sitting behind the piano, long hands flying over the keys as if they had a life of their own. It was a boy their age, slim and dark-haired and elegant, even if he was only wearing a plain black hoodie. Hyde didn't have to look at his face to recognize him on sight.  
  
"Angel-chan?"  
  
The figure stopped playing and turned around to face him. Hyde held his breath. It really was Licht... and Licht was smiling. Smiling the way he had smiled when Hyde had hit his spike, genuinely, proudly... warmly.  
  
"Ophelia?" Hyde spun around to face his childhood friend, demanding an explanation. "What... Why?"  
  
She just smiled from ear to ear, her fingers sliding off Hyde's palm, leaving a warm feeling where they had closed around his hand. "Be happy, you two!"  
  
"Wha–?! Ophelia, wait!" Hyde looked around, spun right and left, but she was gone. "Ophelia? What do you mean? Ophelia!"  
  
A hand came to rest on his shoulder. Hyde glanced up to find himself face to face with Licht, still smiling uncharacteristically bright. And for a split second he thought he saw Ophelia in that smile.  
  
Hyde woke up.  
  
What a strange dream.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro? Wake up! Kuro!"  
  
Kuro blinked and opened his eyes, not at all happy to be woken up in the middle of the school day. "Mmm... what?"  
  
"Don't 'what' me, geez! The teacher wants you to get copies from the teachers' lounge!" Mahiru planted himself in front of him, hands on his hips, his trademark scolding mom expression on his face. "Come on, up you get and go!"  
  
Kuro groaned. "Do I gotta? Just ask someone else... what a pain."  
  
"Well, um, actually..."  
  
Kuro looked up. Standing to his right was Koyuki, looking nervous and fidgety and mildly frightened.  
  
"Actually, we've both been signed up."


	24. The Art of Getting Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But for an illusion it didn't feel half bad.

Kuro sat upright. All traces of sleepiness disappeared in a heartbeat.  
  
He was supposed to get copies from the teachers' lounge? With Koyuki? Alone?  
  
No way, no way, no way. There was no way he could do that. He couldn't do it. Not alone.  
  
"Mahiru..." he whispered pleadingly, hoping and praying that his friend would take the hint and take up the job for him, or at least join them, anything. Even if he just walked with them for part of the way, Kuro would already feel so much better about this. _Just please don't make me do this alone._  
  
Mahiru must have understood the look on his face, because he sighed and shook his head, smiling apologetically. "I'd walk with you guys for a bit," he said, "but I have an emergency meeting to organize some sports festival stuff so... not this time, sorry. But I'm sure you'll manage on your own, right?"  
  
Koyuki hesitated for a second, then he nodded nervously. Kuro wanted to curl in on himself and crawl into a hole and disappear. Of course he wouldn't manage. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't start a conversation, he couldn't talk to people. He'd probably just screw up and end up scaring Koyuki even more.  
  
 _I can't do this._  
  
Mahiru gave him an encouraging smile, but this time it didn't help him at all. He said something, but the words didn't reach him, fading into white noise against the pounding of his heartbeat, the blood rushing in his ears. Kuro watched his friend turn around and leave, turning back at the classroom door to give him a grin and a thumbs-up. Then he was gone, and Kuro was left alone with Koyuki.  
  
There was a long awkward silence. Neither of them looked the other in the eyes. Their classmates were busy with themselves, either too occupied to notice or too scared of Kuro to show they did. It was only the two of them, fidgeting and panicking and lost for words.  
  
"So, um," Koyuki's voice finally broke the silence, shaky and insecure, way too insecure. "Shall we... Shall we go?"  
  
Kuro nodded and got up, unable to utter a word. His knees felt weak, shaking like jelly under his weight, threatening to give way at any second. His hands felt cold and clammy with sweat. His head was spinning, his heartbeat racing. Walking to the teachers' lounge... alone with Koyuki. Forced to strike up a conversation, carry it, get along with him. Try not to mess up and scar him for life.  
  
 _I can't do this._  
  
Still trembling, Kuro followed Koyuki out of the classroom, coming to a halt in the middle of the hallway. Where was he supposed to go now? Right? Left? His mind was blank... he couldn't remember anything.  
  
Which way was it?  
  
Had he even been to the teachers' lounge at all? Where was it? How did it look like? There were no memories, nothing.  
  
"Um..."  
  
Kuro turned mechanically. Koyuki had come to a stop next to him, fidgeting nervously. "Uh, wh-what's the matter? I-Is anything wrong?"  
  
 _Oh great, he's even more weirded out now._ Kuro mentally slapped himself. What was he doing? He was just supposed to walk to the teachers' lounge and carry some copies back to the classroom. Why couldn't he even do that without messing up and creeping out his best friend's friend?  
  
 _Act calm,_ he reminded himself. _Act normal. Try not to look too nervous._  
  
"Which way is it?" he mumbled, looking as far away from Koyuki as he could. "The teachers' lounge."  
  
Koyuki was quiet for a second, as if hesitating. "You don't know?"  
  
Why had he even asked? He had to look like an idiot. What kind of moron wouldn't even know the way to the teachers' lounge at his own school? Only a delinquent who never went to school, of course. Someone the teachers were so scared of that they never signed him up for such simple duties.  
  
"It's this way."  
  
Kuro looked up. Koyuki pointed to the right, giving him a shaky smile. "S-Sorry," he said, bowing his head. "For some reason I thought you knew the way, but you did miss a lot of classes last year... I should've known!"  
  
Well, at least he was smiling. Kuro had no idea why, but Koyuki was smiling at him, and that was a good sign... right?  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro sighed, starting to walk in the direction Koyuki had pointed at. "What a pain, let's just get this over with."  
  
For some reason he was feeling a tiny bit more relaxed. Not enough to feel calm, not by a long way, but at least his mind had started working again, his heartbeat had slowed down just a tiny bit, and his legs didn't feel like putty anymore. It was only a quick task, he reminded himself. A handful of minutes, then they'd be back in the classroom. Safe.  
  
They walked side by side, if one could even say so. They were walking on opposite sides of the hallway, as far away from each other as they could, as if they were both afraid the other might turn on them and pounce like a predator at any second. Kuro's gaze dropped to the floor. He should probably start a conversation, he realized. Mahiru would start a conversation... about something, anything. What would Mahiru say? How did Mahiru always manage to come up with something to say like it was the easiest thing in the world? Kuro couldn't think of anything. Words stopped making sense in his head, spinning and circling into a jumbled incoherent mess.  
  
 _Say something. Anything._ How hard could it be? Just say one word, one sentence, and the rest would work somehow. One word.  
  
The silence grew stifling. The sounds of their footsteps were too loud against the quiet tension between them, the silence that drowned out all words, strangling his voice in his throat before he could get a sound out. With each passing second it grew more unbearable. With each passing second it became harder and harder to break.  
  
 _Just say something._  
  
"Uh..."  
  
Kuro stopped in his tracks. A few feet away Koyuki did the same. They stared at each other, mouths gaping open in stunned surprise.  
  
Had they just both spoken up at the same time?  
  
Kuro fidgeted, looking away. Koyuki's open stare was a little too much for him to handle. What was he supposed to do now? Should he follow up with something? But what? He had only spoken up to break the silence... he still didn't know what to say!  
  
"Y-You go first," Koyuki finally said, still sounding awfully nervous but a thousand times less terrified than before. Kuro took a deep breath. It was okay. It was working out. He still didn't know how, but the tension between them had relaxed, and for the first time since they had left the classroom he felt like he could finally breathe again.  
  
"No, it's fine," he replied quietly, still staring at the ground. "You go first."  
  
Koyuki hesitated for a second. "A-Are you sure? I mean, uh, can I?"  
  
Kuro shrugged and nodded.  
  
"O-Okay then." Koyuki gave a relieved sigh, an awkward smile crossing his face. "Well, I was just wondering... You've never actually run any errands for a teacher before, have you? Not in high school, anyway... right?"  
  
"Mm." Kuro nodded, sticking his hands into his pockets as he continued to look at the floor in front of his feet. "Dunno why they thought now was a good time to start. Could've done without that experience."  
  
Koyuki giggled nervously. "Well, we all have to go through it so..."  
  
"Teachers should just do that stuff themselves." Kuro turned and resumed walking. "They get paid for it."  
  
An unfamiliar sound behind him made him stop in his tracks. Koyuki's voice, chuckling, giggling, _laughing_.  
  
Laughing? Why was he laughing?  
  
Kuro turned around and couldn't believe his own eyes. Koyuki was still standing in the same spot as a moment ago, halfheartedly covering his mouth to hide his smile, but Kuro could see it anyway, wide and happy and free from all fear. He was genuinely laughing at something Kuro had said, not nervously, not maliciously, but honestly.  
  
Shifting his weight uncomfortably, Kuro rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding Koyuki's gaze. "What a pain... Was that funny?"  
  
"D-Did you not mean to be funny?" Koyuki took a breath to calm himself down, but laughter was still ringing bright in his voice, ready to bubble up again at any second. "Sorry... I thought it was really funny. It's so... true, you know?"  
  
Kuro stared at the ground, feeling his face heat up. This was too good to be real. He was alone with one of Mahiru's friends – Mahiru's friends who thought he was a delinquent, who had always been afraid of him – and it was working. He was somehow managing to keep a conversation. He had made Koyuki laugh. Was this what it was like? Talking to friends, cracking them up with your silly jokes? It was new... it was nice.  
  
He didn't deserve this.  
  
"Can't deal... Why'd you laugh?" he mumbled, still not daring to face in Koyuki's direction. "Mahiru would've hit me."  
  
"And yelled at you," Koyuki added, laughing again.  
  
"And called me lazy and said some stuff about how helping out is important, or something."  
  
Koyuki laughed even louder. "That's Mahiru for you! Always the responsible class rep, isn't he?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "He's a scolding mom."  
  
"He is! He really is! Oh boy, don't tell him I said that..."  
  
Kuro resumed walking alongside Koyuki in a daze, his movements unconscious, mechanical. This wasn't real. He wasn't really walking beside Mahiru's friend, casually keeping a conversation and making him laugh. There was no way he could ever pull something like this off, not even in his dreams. This had to be some kind of illusion.  
  
But for an illusion it didn't feel half bad.  
  
"I'm not telling Mahiru," he said, listening in awe as his own voice started to sound more steady, more calm and assured. "Too much trouble. Don't think he'd mind though... he's too nice for his own good."  
  
Koyuki stopped.  
  
Kuro continued walking a few more steps, then he turned, facing Koyuki with a surprised look on his face. Koyuki returned his gaze with an almost thoughtful expression, thoughtful but friendly, warm even. "You really like him, don't you?"  
  
Kuro's heart skipped a beat. An army of butterflies stirred in his stomach before he could stop them. His face heated up as he gaped at Koyuki, taken aback and confused. "...Huh?"  
  
Why was he even reacting like that? Of course he liked Mahiru... a lot. Mahiru was his best friend, his first friend, the one human being in the world that he trusted unconditionally. He liked him more than he'd ever liked anyone else before, and sometimes he felt like the word _like_  was too weak for his feelings, too small for the overwhelming affection Mahiru stirred in his chest. Platonic love, perhaps, if there was such a thing. Was it possible to love a friend without being _in_ love with them? If it was, then those were his feelings.  
  
He knew all that already. So why was he so flustered to be called out on it?  
  
"I, uh..." Kuro dropped his gaze, pulling his collar up to his cheekbones to hide the furious blush glowing on his face. "Can't deal... well, Mahiru's my friend."  
  
Saying that out loud to someone else felt weirdly embarrassing.  
  
"I understand," Koyuki said gently, and Kuro relaxed just the tiniest bit. "Mahiru's that kind of guy. I don't think there's a person in this world he couldn't win over." He smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way about him too."  
  
Kuro said nothing. He wasn't sure if he was happy or flustered, if he wanted to smile back at Koyuki or if he wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him for a year or a century. Koyuki's words resonated with him in a way he didn't understand, as if there was some deeper meaning to them that he had yet to realize himself. The way he said it made it sound as if there was more to his feelings than he wanted to admit, and his heart and mind were puzzled, unsure what to think of it and how to respond. The thought of having feelings for Mahiru felt strange but not unfamiliar, almost as if he'd considered it before, himself, subconsciously.  
  
What was he thinking? His feelings weren't like that. He loved Mahiru as a friend, and he'd follow him to the ends of the earth if he had to, but he wasn't in love with him. He was getting flustered exactly because he wasn't, because Koyuki's weirdly romantic choice of words made it sound like he was even though that couldn't be. If he really was in love with Mahiru, shouldn't he be the first one to understand?  
  
Why was he so sensitive to Koyuki's words, anyway? All Mahiru's friend had said was that he must like him a lot and that they both felt the same way about him. Nothing romantic about it.  
  
Kuro closed his eyes. No point to this. His thoughts were running in circles, and his mind and heart were contradicting themselves and each other until he didn't know what to think or how to feel. He was emotionally unstable right now anyway... no, he was a nervous wreck. Of course he'd be oversensitive to anything and everything.  
  
The bell rang, snapping him out of his thoughts. Across from him Koyuki gave a startled yelp. "Crap!" he burst out. "The break's almost over! Quick, let's hurry or we're gonna be late!"  
  
They rushed down the hallway, up the stairs and to the teachers' lounge, out of breath when they knocked on the door, asking for the copies. Koyuki was handed the entire stack and stumbled under the sudden weight, and Kuro reached out, taking a little more than half the load without saying a word.  
  
Koyuki gave him a look of surprise and a little gratitude. "Th-That wasn't necessary," he stammered before a warm smile crossed his face. "But, um... thank you!"  
  
Kuro dropped his gaze, something warm stirring in his chest, fluttering shyly. Happiness. Koyuki was starting to open up to him, fearing him less and less, thanking him for his help, and it felt nice. It was nice to be thanked. It was nice to be welcome. This feeling was the only reason why Kuro had kept doing nice things, even when they were a pain, even when he hadn't even been motivated to do things for himself. If he had the courage he'd go up to everyone and help them. Maybe he should. Just to the people who seemed nice.  
  
"Can't deal," he mumbled, starting to walk back in the direction of the classroom. "Let's go back before the teach yells at us for being late. That's too much energy for me."  
  
They made it back to the classroom just in time, and Kuro stumbled back to his desk and collapsed in his seat, exhaustion knocking him out as the weight of tension was lifted off his shoulders. He had almost forgotten how exhausting social interaction was. He was spent, and aside from Mahiru he didn't want to see or hear anyone for a week. Maybe two.  
  
Well, that didn't mean he wasn't happy. If anything, he was happier than he'd been in a long time. Koyuki seemed to like him. And he'd somehow managed to interact with him normally– as normally as he could, anyway. He still must have appeared slightly awkward and emotionally stunted, but at least he hadn't come across as a complete freak. That was something.  
  
Maybe they'd continue to get along. Maybe he'd start getting along with Ryuusei too, and then they could all become a group of friends, he, Ryuusei, Koyuki, and Mahiru.  
  
As if. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Today had worked out just fine, but he was still an awkward introvert with a terrible reputation and the social skills of an empty ramen cup. It would take him awhile to really become friends with them, but at least it didn't seem as impossible anymore. The tiniest spark of hope was glimmering in his heart, almost invisible but still infinitely brighter than nothing.  
  
Mahiru must have seen the look on his face, because he leaned over, brown eyes wide with curiosity. "How'd it go?"  
  
Following a sudden impulse, Kuro raised his hands and gave him the panda pose.  
  
Mahiru blinked with surprise, then a smile spread across his face, wide and proud and knowing. "I told you so."  
  
\---  
  
Hugh would probably say it was bad luck. His classmates had called it an accident, and Tetsu himself thought it was no big deal. Of course twisting his ankle wasn't the greatest thing that could have happened during practice, but it wasn't the end of the world, and knowing himself, he'd be fine again by tomorrow at most. He didn't get why the others insisted on him having the nurse look at it, but since they were so worried, might as well go here to calm them down. She'd just tell him what he'd told his teammates already, but it made sense that they believed her more.  
  
The nurse's office was quiet when he opened the door, carefully peeking inside. At first glance the room seemed empty, not a single soul sitting or lying anywhere, all the beds free except for the last one in the row, hidden behind drawn curtains. Tetsu looked around. If the nurse was in here she had to be pretty good at making herself invisible. Maybe she was out for a few minutes, but there was no doubt in his mind that she'd be back again soon.  
  
He stepped inside, closing the door behind him with a click. A little too loud, perhaps.  
  
There was a sleepy groan from the back of the room, mumbling something about noise. Tetsu blinked, startled, before his eyes came to rest on the last bed in the row, hidden behind curtains. Someone must be sleeping in there, and he'd just woken them up.  
  
Was it just him, or did the voice sound kind of familiar?  
  
"Hey, did I wake you?" he asked quietly, moving closer to the bed. "Sorry... I didn't know someone was sleeping in there."  
  
The voice didn't answer. There was just a rustle of blankets and a heavy sigh, as if the person in the bed had rolled over and fallen back asleep. Tetsu paused, wondering if he should check up on them or leave them alone. If they really were sleeping it would be pretty rude to wake them up again, but if they were still awake it might be better to peek in and apologize properly. Careful not to make too much noise, he inched closer, sneaking across the room to peek through the curtains.  
  
At first there didn't seem to be anyone in the bed at all. The only thing Tetsu saw was a crumpled-up blanket and a pillow, folded up in a way that could never hide a normal-sized person from head to toe. Then he looked closer, and he realized the blanket was moving up and down at the slow rhythm of someone breathing, and a single strand of purple hair was poking out from underneath it, resting half-hidden among the folds of the pillow.  
  
Wait a second. Purple...?  
  
"Senpai?" he burst out before he could stop himself. The blanket jolted in surprise, hurriedly shifting and rustling as it started to move and finally falling off the bed to reveal a very startled Misono.  
  
"S-S-Sendagaya!" he shrieked, jumping to sit upright on the mattress and pointing an accusing finger at Tetsu. "Wha– How long have you been here? Don't startle me like that, you imbecile!"  
  
Tetsu rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little bad to disturb Misono like that. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I think I woke you up with the door and wanted to see if you've gone back to sleep... and then I was kinda surprised to see you here. My bad."  
  
Misono was bright red, but he sighed, making a dismissive gesture. "Never mind. You startling me is quickly becoming a habit, anyway."  
  
"...Sorry."  
  
For a moment neither of them said a word. Tetsu let his eyes rest on Misono. The second-year looked less neat and accurate than usual; he had taken off his blazer, tie and shoes, and his shirt and pants were crumpled, looking even bigger on him than usual. The folds of the bed sheet had left marks on his cheek, and his hair was fluffy and messy, random strands sticking out in every direction. His pretty face looked downright cute with that drowsy expression, as if he wasn't quite awake yet, ready to doze off again as he sat like a tired child.  
  
Misono... cute?  
  
Hugh would probably say that teenage boys shouldn't be called cute, especially not by other teenage boys younger than them, but it was the truth. Misono looked adorable. It made Tetsu want to ruffle his messed-up hair or lift him up in his arms like he was Simba in The Lion King, and he wasn't sure what to make of it, except that it was probably a very bad idea and Misono would yell at him and get angry and blush bright red and look even cuter.  
  
How could someone so cool and smart and mature look so cute? Tetsu didn't get it at all. And yet here Misono was, cool and intelligent and adult-like and pretty as a fairy prince and cute as a button, neither side detracting from the other, a walking paradox. It was weirdly enchanting, and whenever he was around Tetsu couldn't help but look at him, couldn't take his eyes off him, a warm affectionate feeling spreading in his gut when they spoke, the urge to be close to him, to reach out and touch him almost too strong to resist.  
  
He should probably say something. Talk to Misono before he became fully immersed in this beautiful human being in front of him, lost in a thoughtful pair of purple eyes.  
  
"What were you doing here?" he asked, his voice sounding a little less steady than usual, clumsy somehow. "Like... why were you sleeping here in the middle of the day?"  
  
"Oh, _that_." Misono waved it off with his hand. "I must have worked too hard preparing the festival and exhausted myself, so I was sent here to rest is all. Nothing worth mentioning."  
  
Tetsu's eyes widened with worry. "Exhausted yourself? Are you okay?"  
  
Misono blinked up at him, catching the concern in his tone and his eyes. For a split second he looked surprised, his cheeks blushing light pink, then he turned away with a frown, glaring at the pillow. "I'm fine," he said dismissively. "A little sleep was all I needed to recover. More importantly," he glanced up at Tetsu with a curious eye, "why are _you_ here?"  
  
"Nothing big." Tetsu threw a self-conscious glance down to his foot. "Hurt my ankle during basketball practice, nothing bad but the others said I should get it looked at. It should be okay in a couple days."  
  
"Hurt your ankle?" Misono jumped to his feet, worry written all over his features. "Sendagaya, you idiot! Play more carefully, what are you planning to do if you injure yourself and can't play in the tournament?"  
  
Tetsu fumbled awkwardly, not sure what to make of this angered, concerned Misono or the fluttery feeling he stirred in his chest. "O-Okay," he stammered, not knowing what else to say. "I'm gonna try."  
  
Misono let out a little huff, crossing his arms. "You better."  
  
"Y-Yeah." Tetsu smiled slightly. "But senpai... Shouldn't you support the team from your own class and not me? We're gonna be your rivals, you know."  
  
"Wha–" Misono spluttered and blushed, visibly caught off guard. "W-Well," he declared, "I-I'm only ensuring a fair competition here. Besides..." He hung his head, his voice dropping to a mumble. "It's normal to show some concern for your f– y-your– your fr–" Getting angry, he threw a punch at Tetsu's shoulder, furiously staring away. "Your friends, idiot!"  
  
Tetsu's eyes widened. "F-Friends?"  
  
"Shut up, Sendagaya!" Misono snapped, turning up the collar of his shirt to hide his blush. "You're making it sound strange!"  
  
"I mean, it's true though. I was just... surprised you said it."  
  
"Shut up. Of course you're my f-friend, stupid." Misono was still blushing, desperately looking away, but his voice was firm as he continued, "Why is it surprising if I say things as they are?"  
  
Friends. Misono had admitted they were friends.  
  
Tetsu could feel his heart pounding in his chest, vibrating through his subconscious like the bass line of his favorite song, a warm fuzzy feeling spreading throughout his chest, soft and happy and full of affection and gratitude to have met this amazing little guy. His friend. His friend who was struggling to call them friends because he wasn't used to the word, because for some reason people hadn't realized what a great person he was. Tetsu didn't understand why. Someone as cool and smart and adorable as Misono should have a ton of friends. So maybe he was awkward sometimes, clumsy or cranky or sharp-tongued, but that didn't make him any less likable. If anything it made Tetsu like him more.  
  
"So we're officially friends now?" he asked softly, almost incredulously. "Can I keep calling you my friend, senpai?"  
  
"Did I stutter?"  
  
"Well, yeah. What does that have to do wi–"  
  
"That's an idiom, stupid!"  
  
"So that's a yes?"  
  
"...yes."  
  
"O-Okay." Tetsu ran a hand through his hair, his face glowing. Misono was blushing redder than ever. Both of them looked at the ground, smiling shakily, their hands fiddling as if they were too happy to sit still but didn't know what to do. Neither of them spoke a word, but it wasn't awkward. Well, maybe it was. A happy kind of awkward, if there was such a thing in the world.  
  
 _Friend._ Tetsu couldn't believe Misono had called him that. They'd been friends for ages, of course. But being called that, especially by someone who was as proud and socially awkward as Misono... that was something else entirely. And to think that he'd struggled to get it out but tried to say it anyway... that thought alone made his heart feel warm.  
  
He didn't know how long they stood there, staring at the ground and blushing and smiling at their own feet. To him it felt like an eternity, but it probably couldn't have been much more than a few minutes. Then a noise broke the silence; the sound of a door opening, footsteps walking towards them. Tetsu looked up and turned around to find the nurse standing a few feet away, looking at them with curiosity.  
  
"Um..." she said slowly. "A-Am I interrupting anything?"  
  
The string of noises Misono spluttered in response couldn't be described with words.  
  
\---  
  
"Tsubakyun, Tsubakyun, Tsubakyun! Did you heeeear?"  
  
Tsubaki turned around just in time to find Berukia storming towards him with an expression that was equal parts shock and excitement. He didn't think too much of it. That was basically Beru's expression whenever he found out about something remotely interesting, and he did have a tendency to exaggerate.  
  
"I don't know, Beru," he said, dribbling the ball with one hand as their teammates gave them an exasperated look. Technically, he and Berukia were on different teams, but their classes happened to have gym class at the same time, and of course they had talked– well, forced the others to let their teams practice together. "What is it?"  
  
Berukia crossed the last few feet between them, forgoing their usual secret handshake to grab Tsubaki's shoulders and shake him. "Tsubakyun, you'll never beliiiiieve this!"  
  
Now that was a bit strange. Normally Beru would always do their secret handshake, no matter how important he thought his news were. Today, however, he looked even more excited than usual... and did he also look a little pale?  
  
"Beru, stop shaking me, I'm getting dizzy," he complained, and his best friend instantly let go with an exaggerated apology. "What happened?" He smirked. "You know I'm always here for gossip."  
  
"Apparently, Sakuya has a secret girlfrieeeend!"  
  
If Tsubaki had been drinking something, this would have been the moment to spit out his drink.  
  
He didn't. He just stared at Berukia for a very long moment, too flabbergasted for words. Sakuya? A secret girlfriend?  
  
He blinked. Shook his head. Blinked again. Then he burst out laughing.  
  
Obviously this was a joke, right? This couldn't be true. If Sakuya really was dating someone he'd have told them already, wouldn't he? They were his friends– no, his family. He might snark at them and roll his eyes, but they were still his family and he still cared about them. There was nothing they didn't know about each other. If Sakuya really had a girlfriend...  
  
But what if he hadn't told them? What if he'd kept her a secret from them all? What if he didn't trust them enough to tell them about the person he was dating... the person he loved?  
  
The person he loved...  
  
Tsubaki kept laughing. He laughed and laughed, even if he didn't feel like laughing on the inside, even if something in his chest wanted to cry at the thought. Sakuya might have someone he loved and was happy with, and he hadn't told them. For some reason the thought hurt him more than it should. Tsubaki trusted all his friends unconditionally... so why didn't Sakuya do the same? Was he embarrassed? Did he just fear their jokes and teasing when they found out? Was he afraid they might hurt her or pull her into something dangerous?  
  
But Sakuya wasn't that kind of guy. He was only pretending not to be friends with Tsubaki and the gang to stay out of trouble and keep his childhood friends safe. He didn't keep any big secrets from the gang. At least he'd never had.  
  
But then why...?  
  
"Tsubakyun! Tsubakyun, are you okay? You won't stop laughiiiiing!"  
  
Berukia's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Remembering where he was and what was going on, Tsubaki stopped laughing, something that had never been this easy. There was no urge to keep laughing when he took a deep breath and sighed, following up his fit of laughter with the same word as always. "Boring."  
  
Berukia kept watching him, half curious, half concerned. Tsubaki smirked, trying not to show how much this rumor affected him without even knowing why, pretending to just be interested and very amused. "What a strange story," he said, and Berukia nodded excitedly. "Where did you hear that, Beru?"  
  
"Someone in my class was talking about iiiit!" Berukia answered readily, oblivious to the way Tsubaki hung onto his every word. "He heard it from someone from Sakuya's class. The whooooole school is talking about it!"  
  
Sakuya's class?  
  
Why would Sakuya tell his class if he wouldn't even tell Tsubaki and the gang?  
  
Why did he call her his secret girlfriend if his entire class knew about it? Secret from who? Him? The squad? Why was he hiding her from them and nobody else? Did he not trust them enough to tell them about her? Or had he told the gang too, just not him and Beru? Did Otogiri know? Lilac? Shamrock? Higan-sensei?  
  
His mind was spinning in circles. What was going on? Had Sakuya gone out of his way to hide his girlfriend from _him_ , specifically? But why should he? Tsubaki couldn't even think of a motive, and yet he felt betrayed. Why did he feel so betrayed? Was it because Sakuya hadn't told him even though he told his friends everything? Sakuya wasn't as open as he was, of course he wouldn't talk about some things. He'd tried hiding things before, out of embarrassment or for fear of getting in trouble, even if it was just for a short while before someone found out or he decided it was better to tell them anyway. It was nothing new for him to keep a secret. And Tsubaki had never felt so betrayed at finding out he'd been hiding something before. So why...?  
  
Was it because he hadn't admitted it himself this time? Was it because this was a bigger secret than the other little things he hadn't mentioned to them? Was it because his entire class knew about it but Tsubaki didn't?  
  
His thoughts strayed back to the mystery girlfriend. He wondered what kind of person she was. Was she pretty? Was she smart? Kind? Did she go to this school, or did she attend some other school nearby? How had they met? How did Sakuya act around her? Did they text each other? Talk on the phone? Go on dates? Had they kissed already?  
  
Tsubaki tried to imagine Sakuya with some girl, happy and smiling the way he did when he was with his childhood friends, holding her hand and kissing her and taking her to the arcade and the movies. Happy, affectionate, in love. With someone he didn't even know.  
  
What was this strange feeling in his chest?  
  
Why did he feel like he'd just lost him?  
  
He shouldn't feel like this. Sakuya was still his friend, part of the gang. He wouldn't stop hanging out with them just because he had a girlfriend. He might be a little more busy, sure, and there would be days when his seat would be empty because he was out on a date. But that wouldn't happen all the time. They would still be able to meet up after classes, the whole gang, just like it had always been. He wouldn't lose Sakuya over this.  
  
But still...  
  
He shook his head, trying to brush off the thoughts. What was he thinking? This shouldn't surprise him. They were teenage boys. Of course some of them would start dating people eventually. He should even be surprised it hadn't happened earlier.  
  
But why Sakuya? Why not Shamrock or Otogiri or Lilac?  
  
 _Tsubaki, calm down._ Why was he so upset over this? It wasn't like he'd been in love with Sakuya or any–  
  
Had he?  
  
The thought lingered in his head for a little too long, a buzzing opportunity floating in his mind like a hummingbird before speeding off, leaving only a gust of wind and a shadow behind. Maybe he had. Maybe he hadn't. Mulling over that was boring. He'd find out eventually.  
  
For now he should concentrate on practice, or Beru would get worried and send him to the nurse or try to hit him with a basketball, depending on his mood. He could always think about the Sakuya issue later. Maybe the rumor wasn't even true, and he was just wasting his time and nerves here. In any case he'd nag and plead Sakuya into telling him the whole truth later, and maybe this time his sulking wouldn't be entirely as exaggerated as usual.  
  
\---  
  
Tinker hadn't been very productive in class today.  
  
That wasn't to say she hadn't done a lot. In fact, she had done a lot more than usual; the problem was just that it was nothing productive, unless she was planning to get into art school later, which she wasn't. Nothing and nobody could keep her from going into engineering after graduation.  
  
But instead of doing something for her future and paying attention in class, Tinker had spent the day distracted, and she may or may not have doodled little hearts all over her notes.  
  
It wasn't really her fault, to be honest. She just couldn't help it. Every time she tried to pay attention in class, her mind started wandering, always straying back to a certain asocial upperclassman with terrible luck and the most beautiful brown eyes.  
  
No matter what she did, she couldn't stop thinking about Tsuyuki Shuuhei. Scenes of their encounter replayed in her mind; holding his hand as she pulled him along, tripping and falling, his wonderful eyes that were so rich and brown and thoughtful, the blush that crossed his face when she ended up in his lap, his expression when she first called him Loki-senpai, surprised and the slightest bit happy. He seemed sour, yes, unwilling to see or hear anything about student council and always stressed and annoyed, but he couldn't be a bad person. She could feel it. Nobody with such beautiful eyes could ever be a bad person at heart.  
  
She wondered if he ever looked happy. She wondered how his smile looked like, how his laugh sounded; she wondered what could make him smile or laugh, if she would ever get to see him like that, relaxed and happy instead of stiff, serious and frowning. She wanted to see him happy, smiling for once. What had happened to him to always make him look so glum? Was it the constant mishaps that he attracted like the light attracted moths? Was there something else? Tinker didn't know. She'd had her eyes on him ever since the first day of school, watching him from a distance, but she didn't know.  
  
She wondered if he remembered their first meeting. Tinker remembered it clearly, vividly, like a video recorded in her head; but she was sure Shuuhei didn't recall. It had been the first day of school; she'd overslept and been lost and terribly late, panicking as she sprinted all around the school with her bag slung over her shoulder, a cup of hot chocolate in one hand, a sandwich in the other, frantically searching for the opening ceremony. She was just about to give up hope when she heard footsteps around the corner, and before she could process what was happening she crashed headfirst into another student.  
  
Her sandwich flew through the air. Her cup slid from her grasp, hot chocolate spilling all over the boy's shirt, tie and blazer, leaving a hot, sticky brown stain. He stumbled back, more startled than angry, but in no way surprised.  
  
Tinker paled, arms flailing around in the air. "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I swear that wasn't on purpose! Just give me a second and I'll run to the bathroom and get you some wet towels and help you clean out that stain and I'll wash everything for you and dry-clean it and if it still doesn't go out I'll replace it and–"  
  
"It's alright."  
  
She blinked up at the boy, stunned. "Huh?"  
  
"I said it's alright," the stranger said, sounding a little annoyed this time. "Thankfully..." He put down his bag and went through it to produce a brand-new, sparkling clean shirt, tie and blazer. "I was prepared for this kind of situation."  
  
Tinker gaped at him, mouth dangling open. "Wow!" she exclaimed, eyes wider than saucers. "Do you have ESP or something?"  
  
He took off his glasses to wipe off a few stray drops of hot chocolate. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Are you a psychic? Can you see the future?"  
  
"No." He put his glasses back on, adjusting them on the bridge of his nose, sounding confused and mildly irritated. "I simply anticipate every situation. Nothing is scary if you're prepared for it."  
  
Tinker stared at him in awe, then a smile spread across her face, and before she could stop herself she burst out laughing. "You're pretty funny, you know that?"  
  
"Funny?" He adjusted his glasses, looking puzzled and a little caught off guard. "Me?"  
  
She grinned. "Of course!"  
  
They had parted ways after that, but Tinker had still been in hearing range when she heard him mutter, "I wasn't prepared for that."  
  
\---  
  
Class was over at last. No student council meeting, no appointments or plans, almost no homework; lying ahead of Shuuhei was a rare free afternoon, and he was about to make the best of the day. No nagging. No duties.  
  
Heaven.  
  
He packed up his things and slipped on his backpack, feeling almost cheerful. It had been ages since his last day off, and he couldn't wait for today. Leave the school, go back to his room and spend the afternoon with some of his favorite books... he'd needed that for way too long now.  
  
He didn't get any further than the classroom door when someone tapped on his shoulder.  
  
Shuuhei stopped walking, giving a silent groan. Who on earth had the nerve to bother him now?  
  
Spinning around, he got ready to glare at whoever had come up to him with this godawful timing. "What do you–"  
  
He stopped in his tracks when he saw Tinker standing in front of him, smiling brightly, blue eyes sparkling with happiness, as if her entire bubbly, bright personality had manifested in these eyes to shine with the light of a thousand stars. "Found you, Loki-senpai!"  
  
Shuuhei adjusted his glasses, not sure what to think. On one hand he was happy to see Tinker, happier than he probably should be and much, much happier than seeing most of humanity could make him. On the other hand he was suspicious; if she was here for him, it could always mean a message from student council, a task the bastard upperclassmen had decided to burden him with on the spot. "What's the matter?"  
  
She jumped a little, looking awkward. "W-Well," she said, rubbing her neck and smiling, "this probably sounds a little weird but I just wanted to say hi! I... well... you know..."  
  
"I see," Shuuhei replied, even though he didn't really understand. She had come here just to say hi? Had she really just wanted to see him?  
  
"W-Well, if nothing's the matter," he adjusted his glasses, "I'll be going now. Today is my rare afternoon off, and I'd rather make use of that as much as I can."  
  
Her eyes went wide. "You're free right now? Cool! Me too!" She paused, becoming aware of her words as a crimson blush spread over her face. "N-No, wait, I didn't mean it like that! I didn't mean to make it sound like I wanted to spend your free afternoon is you I mean you probably want to relax and I'd just disturb you so please don't be bothered or–"  
  
"It's alright."  
  
She blinked, confused. Shuuhei blinked back. What had he just said? He'd been looking forward to this free afternoon, this chance to have half a day by himself for ages. And yet... as he heard himself speaking, he didn't feel like he was lying or trying to be polite. He felt like he was speaking a truth he didn't want to acknowledge.  
  
"If you want to... I wouldn't mind spending some time together."


	25. Before the Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And no matter what results came of it, Mahiru knew that they were already winners.

The week ended, the next week began, and with it began the long-awaited tournament.  
  
Mahiru wasn't worried about how well his team would fare. They had improved well over the past days, training as hard as they could, and they had become a force to be reckoned with. Kuro and Koyuki were tall, the girls fast and skilled, and he and Ryuusei had the reflexes and technique. Koyuki had become amazing at blocking spikes, even if he'd started out hesitant and afraid to accidentally jump into the net. Ryuusei had grown used to handling the ball with his hands and arms instead of his feet like he always did at club practice, jumping to hit spikes over the net and darting all across the court to keep the ball in the air. Suzuhara and her friend, Kayano, had started out shying away from the ball but worked hard to give the team a solid foundation.  
  
And then there was Kuro. Kuro had changed the most. He still wasn't comfortable with the team, but he had started opening up to Ryuusei and Koyuki a little, occasionally talking to them for no reason except that he wanted to, even if their conversation never lasted long before they trailed off into awkward silence and Mahiru had to dive in and save them. And Kuro had worked hard for the team. Out of everyone he was the one with the most natural athletic ability, and he had put his all into using it as well as he could. He had turned out to be a gifted setter; he somehow managed to keep an eye on all players at once, reading their moves and never missing even the tiniest openings, and he had learned to match his tosses to his teammates, even going up to them himself to ask if he was doing okay.  
  
Mahiru was proud of him.  
  
With him on the team, he wasn't worried about how they would fare. They were strong. Maybe they wouldn't win; maybe they wouldn't even make it to the finals, but he didn't care. Even if they lost in the first round, he knew they wouldn't go down without a fight. And no matter what results came of it, Mahiru knew that they were already winners. Nobody could take their personal growth from them now, and that was a bigger trophy than any medal.  
  
He looked at his friends, gym bags in their hands or slung over their shoulders, ready to get changed and start the match, and smiled. Whatever the result, they would enjoy themselves. That was all that mattered.  
  
\---  
  
 _Breathe in, breathe out._  
  
Kuro wasn't nervous. He wasn't nervous. He wasn't...  
  
What a pain. This wasn't working at all.  
  
He was a bundle of raw nerves, and he didn't even know why. This was only a school tournament, a festival for fun. All he'd have to do was play volleyball, just like he had during practice. He was a good player, and he was starting to get along with his team too. So what did he have to fear? There should be nothing to worry about.  
  
And yet he was standing here, in front of the locker room door, waiting to be let in, and panicked. His gaze flicked from one teammate to the other, turning more and more hectic. These people... He had earned their trust. They were relying on him. He couldn't disappoint them.  
  
What if he did?  
  
What if he couldn't live up to this new, fragile trust these guys were putting in him? What if they relied on him and he failed them? What if they ended up being disappointed _because of him?_  
  
He shouldn't think that. He was good at volleyball. They'd practiced so much over the past days, and he'd improved so much. It was getting easier and easier, his body growing accustomed to the motions more and more, starting to act on instinct, without thinking. There was nothing to worry about. It was only a small tournament anyway.  
  
But what if...?  
  
 _Stop it,_ he told himself. _Don't think about it. You'll be fine. And even if you fail, they won't be mad at you. They're all nice people._  
  
But how patient were they? If he made a big mistake, would they still not mind? If they ended up losing a game because of him, would they still forgive him?  
  
He knew he shouldn't be thinking about that. He knew it was exaggerated; they were only a thrown-together team of classmates who'd practiced together for a week, not the members of a sports club trying to make it to nationals. They were all just here for fun; winning was a bonus, not a goal. But they'd worked so hard. They had put so much time into it, even if it had just been for a handful of days, maybe a week or a little more. They had grown together. He couldn't let all that work go to waste.  
  
Kuro looked back at his teammates, then at the floor. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to play and shoulder the responsibility.  
  
What a pain.  
  
This was why he didn't like being a team player.  
  
\---  
  
Licht wasn't, by nature, an impatient person. He was an angel, he had no flaws and no weaknesses. But he really hated waiting.  
  
He'd been standing in front of the stupid gym for the age-long eternity of... five minutes? No way, that couldn't be right. His watch must be broken. There was no way he'd only been here for five minutes; it had to be at least an hour. His angelic sense of time couldn't be that wrong, it definitely had to be the watch. He'd have to get it fixed again on his next day off, or get Hyde or Crantz to have it fixed for him. Probably the latter.  
  
Dammit, why wasn't the first match starting yet? Crantz had said something about the basketball tournament still not being finished, but what was taking them so long? They should just hurry up and get done! He was itching to play. Volleyball was fun, and volleyball with Hyde was even more fun, even though he hated to admit it. His weird, loud, annoying partner and friend was getting better by the minute, constantly improving and pulling off new stunts, most of them silly but some of them amazing. Hyde had become a good player and a great teammate. He couldn't wait to play together with him and show off both their skills, show how powerful and in sync they were. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that they'd win. It couldn't be any other way.  
  
He looked around. Where was that idiot Hyde, anyway? He was going to be late! Even later than the rest of his teammates, that is. He'd been waiting way too long already; no matter what his watch said, it had to be way past the set time to start.  
  
He wasn't impatient or anything. He just really, really wanted to play.  
  
Where the hell was everyone? Not even the rival teams were on time! What had happened to work ethic and punctuality?  
  
What the hell was that basketball match doing? Had they gone into overtime or something? He'd been standing here for what felt like a–  
  
His vision turned dark. Something came to rest over his eyes, warm and annoying and not at all unfamiliar. An energetic voice he knew like the back of his hand greeted him from behind. "Angel-chan! Guess who!"  
  
"The guy who's about to get kicked into yesterday," Licht shot back without missing a beat. He jabbed an elbow backwards, stepping out as Hyde let go of him with a yelp and spun around, ready to deliver a well-aimed kick. But Hyde jumped out of his reach, and Licht let him be. He didn't really feel like kicking him halfway through the universe as much anymore. For some reason the idiot had become less annoying; maybe he'd grown accustomed to his idiocy, or maybe Hyde had become more bearable lately, or both. Maybe the kidnapping experience had brought them both closer together.  
  
Them? Together? He couldn't believe he had just used these words in the same sentence. Gross.  
  
"Where have you been, shit rat?" he asked, ignoring the weird workings of his own brain. "I've been waiting out here for an hour! And where are the others?"  
  
"An hour?" Hyde blinked at him in confusion, then he burst out laughing. "Lichtan, what the hell! I only saw you head down here ten minutes ago!"  
  
Licht gave him a glare, but for some reason he didn't really have it in him to make it look as cold as before, and he didn't feel like hitting or kicking him either. It was strange. Ever since the kidnapping he really had started to tolerate him more; he didn't really mind keeping his clingy self around, and his loud voice and annoying laughter didn't get on his nerves anymore; in fact, they were almost...  
  
Wait. No. Stop. Had he really just been on the verge of calling Hyde cute in his head?  
  
Well, he _could_ be cute. Sometimes, once in a blue moon when the planets aligned and he kept his big mouth shut. His smile, the actual honest one and not the stage smile, wasn't bad either – pretty likable actually, charming even. And Licht had to admit he'd grown on him lately, as a partner, a classmate and a friend. They worked well together, and Hyde finally didn't look like he was acting all the time.  
  
Maybe he didn't mind this kind of Hyde. Maybe the annoying demonic part of him had been exorcised back when he'd confronted his past back in that dark room, injured and bleeding, and found new resolve. Maybe even Hyde could become something akin to an angel if he tried.  
  
Which didn't keep him from being dead wrong right now.  
  
"Ten minutes?" he asked, getting annoyed. "Something must be wrong with your watch, shit rat! I know I've been here for an hour!"  
  
Hyde gave him a grin that was half amused, half pitying. "I'm pretty sure even your own watch knows it's been ten minutes, Lichtan..."  
  
"The watches are wrong! It's been an hour!" That was a fact, and he wouldn't let any clock in the world tell him otherwise. "I'm an angel. I know better than human clocks."  
  
"Oh right... I almost forgot that, Angel-chan."  
  
Licht couldn't help feeling that he was still being made fun of, but since he was feeling so generous today he let the matter slide. Instead he looked around, searching for other teammates or rival players and still finding none. "Why are all the others late?"  
  
"That's what I've been trying to get into your stubborn angelic head, Lichtan. They're not late." He pushed up his sleeve to reveal his watch, shoving it under Licht's face. "We're early, see?"  
  
Licht looked at Hyde's watch, then at his watch and back at Hyde's watch and concluded that both watches were wrong.  
  
"Your watch isn't working either," he said with complete sincerity. "You should give it to Crantz too, he knows a place where you can get it fixed."  
  
"I'm telling you, Angel-chan, _that's not it...!!_ "  
  
\---  
  
Tetsu shifted his weight, slowly putting it all on his injured foot. It didn't hurt one bit. He walked a few steps, then quickened his pace into a jog, started to run and finally jumped and landed safely. Nothing hurt. His ankle was all fine again, and just in time too.  
  
Recovery had taken longer than expected. He must have twisted his ankle pretty badly, because walking and running had been pretty painful for a few days, and he'd had to pause basketball practice until he was back to normal. His classmates had freaked out, already searching for a substitute player in case Tetsu didn't make it in time, but Tetsu hadn't been worried for a second. He'd always been one to recover quickly after all, and recovered he had, just in time too. Must be luck.  
  
"There you are, Tetsu." A familiar voice greeted him as he turned around to find Hugh walking towards him, already wearing his gym clothes even though the volleyball matches wouldn't start until later, jacket draped over his shoulders like a miniature cape. "How is your injury doing, O unfortunate friend? Has your recovery been speedy enough to allow you to play?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Tetsu turned and twisted his foot to demonstrate it, still not feeling an ounce of pain. Yeah, he was definitely okay again. "The nurse said I can play if it doesn't hurt anymore so it's okay."  
  
Hugh nodded energetically. "Excellent! I knew you had it in you, my friend!"  
  
Tetsu looked down at his foot, smiling slightly. The more he thought about it, the happier he was that his foot was okay again in time, that he could play the matches just like he'd promised. For his teammates alone it was a huge relief; they were counting on his height and skills, and Tetsu was more than happy to have their backs. He'd been looking forward to playing together; practice had been fun, and they were all such great teammates. He'd even found a handful of new friends on this team, and he couldn't wait to head into the tournament together.  
  
And speaking of friends...  
  
Misono's face appeared in his mind, blushing and stuttering as he struggled to get the word out. _Friends._  Misono had admitted they were friends. He was now officially Tetsu's friend too, and he'd be watching from the crowd. Watching him, cheering him on perhaps, even though Tetsu couldn't imagine Misono shouting chants or holding up signs without being forced to. He'd probably watch from the sidelines, trying not to stand out, but that was fine. Just knowing he was there was enough for Tetsu.  
  
"Tetsu? Tetsu, where is your mind wandering?"  
  
Hugh's voice brought him back to reality. He blinked, looking back at his old friend. An idea crossed his head; a thought, weird enough but maybe a good one, he couldn't tell. But Hugh was smart; if he told him how he felt about Misono maybe he could explain that warm fuzzy feeling, the desire to spend more time with him. Hugh always knew what to say and what to do.  
  
"Hugh," he began, "I've been thinki–"  
  
He was interrupted by a door opening, a familiar figure walking into the gym, looking around and smiling. "What a lovely day for a tournament!" Lily chimed, beaming from ear to ear. "Big brother, Tetsu-kun, don't you agree it's beautiful today?"  
  
Hugh greeted his old friend with a smile and a slight bow while Tetsu gave the upperclassman an acknowledging nod. "Yeah, it's nice outside," he replied. "We're playing inside though, senpai."  
  
"Oh, but some of the other tournaments are outside! One way or another it's the thought that counts, isn't it?" Lily laughed, then a memory crossed his face and he stopped abruptly, red eyes locking down on Tetsu with slight worry. "By the way, Tetsu-kun, how is your injury doing? Will you be able to play?"  
  
Tetsu nodded, doing a few light jumps to demonstrate his recovery. "Good as new."  
  
"What a relief! It would have been such a shame if you hadn't recovered in time. Misono has been looking forward to watching you play so much." Lily chuckled. "He's been asking about your ankle every day."  
  
Tetsu smiled a little. He couldn't help feeling all soft and warm and fuzzy at Lily's words, imagining a disgruntled Misono asking Lily about his state while trying to hide his concern and getting all excited over the thought of cheering his friend on. He'd come to know him so well the pictures were all vivid in his head, almost as alive as if he could actually see him.  
  
"Tell him I can play," he said, facing Lily. "I'll be looking for him in the crowd."  
  
Lily chuckled under his breath. "Ah," he said so quietly Tetsu almost didn't catch the words, "young love..."  
  
Tetsu blinked at him, unsure if he'd heard him right. "Huh?"  
  
"My apologies, Tetsu-kun. It was nothing important." Lily chuckled again, looking almost suspiciously innocent until his face softened into a warm, genuine smile. "I'm only grateful. Misono always used to be alone so much, but lately he's been spending so much time with his friends... I have never seen him so happy or energetic before. You all have a wonderful effect on him."  
  
"That's because he's a great guy," Tetsu added without missing a beat. "He has a good effect on us too."  
  
Lily and Hugh exchanged a glance, smiling knowingly. Tetsu looked back and forth between them in confusion. Was he missing something? He had no idea what these two were thinking or why they were looking at each other like that. He'd only said what was on his mind, that was all.  
  
Well, these two were adults after all. No need to understand everything they did; they were much smarter than Tetsu anyway. All he cared about was the upcoming tournament.  
  
Now more than ever, he couldn't wait to play. And he couldn't wait to spot a certain face in the crowd.  
  
\---  
  
Saying that Tsubaki's mood had been bad lately would be a major understatement.  
  
Ever since hearing the rumor about Sakuya's girlfriend his mood had been terrible, no more and no less and with an almost shocking consistency. Normally bad moods didn't last long with him; he was distracted from them easily enough, and if something cheered him up or made him laugh all negativity was forgotten in a heartbeat.  
  
But this time was different. This time he had been in an awful mood for days on end, only briefly distracted by his friends' antics before he fell back into a gloomy hole again. His friends hadn't even had much time to cheer him up; everyone was busy preparing for the sports festival, practicing with their own classmates, and nobody had enough time to spend with him. Even Beru hadn't had enough time for him lately... but the worst one was Sakuya.  
  
Sakuya had been incredibly busy lately. Every single day he'd been busy rehearsing the cheering routine with his classmates, or so he said. Either he was in class, or he was busy with homework or sleeping, and every hour he didn't spend studying, eating or sleeping he seemed to spend with his class. Practicing, he said. Because they couldn't get the routine right and they needed to be done in time, he said. Tsubaki had tried calling him, but he never picked up his phone. He had tried texting him, but he didn't respond, and the messenger apps never displayed him as online.  
  
Tsubaki knew he shouldn't, but he was getting worried. Was Sakuya really that busy, or did he just not have time for _him?_  Did he just want to be left alone? He hadn't been lying about being so busy with the routine, had he?  
  
Of course not. Tsubaki trusted Sakuya the same way he trusted all his friends... and yet he couldn't help getting worried. Sakuya had never completely cut him off before. It simply wasn't normal.  
  
Was this because of the rumor? Was it his girlfriend's influence? Was he meeting with her instead of making time for him and the gang?  
  
But Sakuya wasn't a liar. Sakuya hated lies. Sakuya would never lie to him about a matter like this.  
  
Why was he getting so worried? No matter how many times he'd pretended to worry about Sakuya not liking him anymore, he never really had. They had all been jokes, cheap tricks to play the pity card and get Sakuya to do what he wanted or just mess with him a litte, but this was different. This whole situation was different, and he had no idea what to do with it.  
  
Maybe he just missed him.  
  
Yes, that was it. He missed Sakuya. Tsubaki wasn't someone who was good with being alone. Loneliness meant doing nothing. Doing nothing meant boredom. Boredom meant letting his thoughts roam, stray into a territory they should never come close to again. Loneliness brought fears with it, sadness and bad memories that he couldn't keep out no matter how much he tried. He needed his friends like he needed air to breathe, and he loved every single one of them for being by his side. If he didn't see one for too long he'd start missing them, even though all his other friends were still around, just like he was missing Sakuya now because he had barely heard from him in days.  
  
Sighing, he slid his phone out of his pocket, checking it just in case. Of course there was nothing. Sakuya hadn't messaged him at all, and he still wasn't online. There was just a new message from Beru, who had sent him a link to a video. He'd watch that one later when he was in public. Knowing Beru, it was probably a jumpscare or a screamer and he wanted to startle a few more people with it.  
  
Speaking of people, he should probably be getting ready. His first match would start soon.  
  
\---  
  
Jeje wasn't the outdoorsy type. Never had been.  
  
He was even less of a team player.  
  
So why in the world was he here?  
  
The last few days had been a disaster. Whoever had nominated him to be the goalkeeper must have been very blind or very stupid or both, because while he was tall and had good reflexes, he also had to communicate. Communicate with players who were often a long way off. Which meant talking. Loudly. And Jeje hated talking.  
  
Ever since he was little, Jeje had never liked being around people. He could never keep eye contact with anyone for more than half a second, talking cost him an incredible effort, and from his earliest childhood he had always been self-conscious about his face, to the point where he wanted to hide in his room and never have to look at anyone ever again. Up until the age of nine he hadn't been able to speak at all, except to a select few people he trusted. Selective mutism, Lily had called it once. He'd said it was no problem, that many children suffered from it but grew out of it and became able to talk normally later. Jeje hadn't. He was approaching eighteen now, and he still hid his face and hated talking.  
  
At least the team had let him keep one of his paper bag masks on. Otherwise he didn't know how he'd have survived practice, let alone the tournament, with dozens and hundreds of people all able to see his face. But talking had been a problem. He could speak a few words if he forced himself, but shouting was still impossible. Impossible but necessary. He'd tried using sign language and gestures before, but it hadn't helped at all. His teammates needed to see him to understand the gestures, and without shouting it was impossible to get them to turn his way at all.  
  
He was just glad Mikuni wasn't here. He had already told him not to watch his match, and since that would just make Mikuni pop up even more, he had added the threat that he'd end his bodyguarding contract otherwise. Hopefully that would work. And if it didn't, he might just have to kill his employer if he so much as breathed a word.  
  
Maybe he should send Tsurugi out to distract him. Yes, that might work. The fact that this would also keep the three horsemen of the Apocalypse away from his match was just an added bonus.  
  
He was just about to reach into his bag and take out his phone when he was interrupted by a hesitant voice.  
  
"Um, Jeje? The match's about to start... We really need you on the pitch right now!"  
  
Well, damn.  
  
Tossing the phone back into his bag, Jeje turned and walked out of the locker room. Every part of him didn't want to be here. But it couldn't be helped.  
  
\---  
  
Koyuki took a deep breath, letting his gaze roam over the court.  
  
Next to him, Ryuusei was stepping from side to side, itching to play. Mahiru was spinning the ball in his hands, already getting ready for the first serve of the match; the two girls were standing close together, whispering nervously. Everyone was buzzing with excitement, ready for the first match of the tournament.  
  
And then there was Kuro.  
  
Kuro didn't look happy. Kuro's face was white as a sheet, drained from all blood, and the bags under his eyes looked even darker than usual. His eyes were staring nowhere, his fingers trembling like dry leaves in the wind, shaking so slightly it was almost unnoticeable. He looked like a ghost... or a vampire. And even though Koyuki had almost lost all fear of him, right now he looked terrifying.  
  
No... not terrifying. At second glance, he looked more _terrified_.  
  
"U-Um," he ventured, stepping up to him, "is everything... Are you okay?"  
  
Kuro didn't respond. It was as if he hadn't even heard Koyuki's voice.  
  
"K-Kuro?" he asked again, slightly louder. "Is everything all right? Are you not feeling well? If you're not then you should go visit the nurse's office, we can–"  
  
"No," Kuro cut him off, uncharacteristically frantic. "Nah," he said again, sounding more like his usual self. "I'm fine. Just can't deal with team sports."  
  
He was nervous.  
  
Was that it? Was he nervous because of the match, because he had to play on a team? He did seem like he wasn't used to people. Why hadn't Koyuki realized it earlier? He should really have known.  
  
"Well, it's no big deal," he said with the best encouraging smile he could muster. "It's only a school tournament after all! We're all only here to have fun." He turned to Ryuusei. "Right, Ryuu-chan?"  
  
Ryuusei stopped his endless side-steps and looked up. "Whatcha talking 'bout?"  
  
"Pay attention, geez!" Koyuki pouted at him. "I was talking about the match. It's only for fun, right? We're not here to win at all costs!"  
  
Ryuusei grinned. "Well, duh. It's not like we're the volleyball club!"  
  
Kuro looked from one to the other, then at his feet, fidgeting. His voice was quiet as he spoke, so soft and hesitant that Koyuki regretted ever thinking of him as a delinquent, violent and intimidating. "Fun... huh?"  
  
"Of course!" Ryuusei's grin widened. "If we win it's cool, but if we lose we can leave earlier so that's awesome too! And we got no classes today, that's what matters the most! Right?"  
  
"What a pain," Kuro mumbled, but he already sounded more relaxed, almost a little happy. "At least I can sleep in class."  
  
Koyuki shook his head, giving him a mock sigh. "You shouldn't sleep in class! Think of your grades, will you?"  
  
"Sleep in class?" Ryuusei said at almost the same time. "Oh yeah, you always do that! Dude, tell me your secret. I wanna sleep through math class too!"  
  
"Ryuu-chan! Whose side are you on?"  
  
"This has nothing to do with sides, man! Sleeping's way better than learning boring formulas!"  
  
"That attitude's the reason for your bad grades! You should study, Ryuu-chan!"  
  
"Nah, no need," Kuro piped in. "If your grades are bad Mahiru-sama's gonna come to your rescue and tutor you. Foolproof plan. Right, Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru threw a volleyball at his head, missing him only by inches. "Hey, don't promote laziness! Do I look like everyone's personal tutor? Don't listen to him, Ryuusei, he's a bad role model!"  
  
Ryuusei just laughed. Koyuki joined in, quickly followed by Mahiru. Kuro looked from one to the other, a trace of happiness and incredulity in his eyes, as well as pure warm gratitude. He almost looked as if he wanted to laugh too and was just too shy, as if he was trying his hardest not to smile and all the joy that wanted to spread over his face gathered in his eyes, shining with a soft red light. Koyuki's smile grew even wider, as if the smile in Kuro's eyes was contagious, beaming at him with relief. _I'm glad we could cheer you up._  
  
His gaze strayed over to Mahiru. Mahiru had stopped laughing, gazing at Kuro in wonder. His entire face was alight with wonder, happiness shining warm in his eyes, reflecting in his smile. He could see it too. He understood the emotion in those red eyes better than anyone else, better than Koyuki or Ryuusei could ever hope to, and he looked so, so happy. Koyuki didn't know if he had ever seen him this happy, this delighted, like a child on Christmas Day marveling at the lights and presents.  
  
Turning around to Ryuusei, Koyuki smiled. Ryuusei smirked back. Giving each other a knowing nudge, they stepped away, giving their two friends their privacy.  
  
\---  
  
"Lo-ki-sen-paiiiiii!"  
  
Shuuhei might be prepared for any mishap that befell him, but as he turned around he almost jumped out of his skin. Facing him, flailing its arms around, stumbling from side to side and shouting was a ghost. A ghost wrapped in what looked a suspicious lot like... a banner?  
  
And caught up and tangled inside that banner was...  
  
"Tinker," he remarked, regaining his cool. "What happened?"  
  
The girl, who had blindly stumbled in the direction she'd suspected him in (which just so happened to be the opposite direction of where he actually was), turned to face his way while pulling and kicking at the banner. "Loki-senpai, help! They asked me to put this up but I can't see!"  
  
Shuuhei gave her a long look and sighed. The banner she had mysteriously become tangled up in was probably the banner for the volleyball tournament, to be put up on the railing at the top of the gym. How she'd managed to get it wrapped around her body and ended up at the door of the boys' locker room was a mystery for itself. Apparently it was a magic trick only Tinker was capable of.  
  
 _Well, and me._ Shuuhei frowned, remembering his bad luck. Knowing how prone he was to accidents he would probably have tangled himself in that thing, stumbled into the wrong direction, tripped down the stairs, and fallen into the school pond, only to have prepared a spare set of clothes and a second banner because he had anticipated all of that.  
  
What a stupid task to give one person, anyway. This thing was much too big for one alone; they should have sent a pair at least, if not three people. Shuuhei couldn't help feeling a little angry at whoever had sent Tinker here alone. Probably Tsurugi or Mikuni.  
  
But part of him was also relieved. For some incomprehensible reason he didn't exactly like the thought of Tinker working together with someone else, happily chattering away and smiling and laughing at someone who wasn't him. For some reason he was glad she'd ended up here, trapped in the fabric of the banner, stumbling around and unable to see.  
  
He should probably help her, since she'd found her way over to him already.  
  
Sighing, he adjusted his glasses, stepping up to the girl who was still spinning around in circles. "Hold still," he said quietly, placing a hand on what he believed to be her shoulder. "I'll help you out."  
  
"Okay," she chimed, stopping in her tracks and standing perfectly still. "Unwrap me, Loki-senpai! But careful, I'm ticklish, okay?"  
  
Shuuhei blushed a little at her words but kept his mouth shut, quickly deciding not to tell her that the words "unwrap me" might sound a little weird if taken out of context.  
  
Adjusting his glasses, he leaned down, carefully searching for the end of the banner, tugging it out where it had become stuck on itself and slowly starting to unwrap his underclassman, little by little. Tinker did her best to stand still, but every time Shuuhei's hands brushed her she started twitching and giggling, struggling not to laugh. Shuuhei felt his face flush hotter at every touch. He tried his hardest not to think about where he was touching her, the fact that she was still a girl and he was touching her legs, her sides, her chest, even if he couldn't help it... and he tried not to think about the fact that she didn't mind at all.  
  
Somewhere along the way he lost focus. The banner somehow tied itself around his arm, and when he tried to get it off it somehow managed to get stuck around his other arm, and then his torso; and before he knew it he had wrapped himself up in it, tying himself to Tinker as if they were wearing a get-along shirt.  
  
He should have anticipated this, really.  
  
What was it with Tinker that kept making him lower his guard, forget to watch out for all the mishaps waiting for him around every corner? He really should have been prepared for something like this happening. This wasn't even the worst-case scenario.  
  
And what was it with the way their bodies were pressed up against each other that made his whole body feel warm?  
  
Tinker looked up at him, her cheeks looking almost as pink as his felt. "Um, Loki-senpai..." she ventured, "I'm pretty sure that's not how you unwrap someone caught in a banner..."  
  
Shuuhei sighed and wished his arms weren't trapped so he could adjust his glasses. "I know."  
  
"So?" she asked, getting up on her tip-toes, her face getting dangerously close to his. "What do we do now?"  
  
"...let me think."  
  
 _And let go of me, please. I can't think with you pressed up against me like this... but unfortunately, you can't get out of my personal space until we've managed to get out of here._  
  
Just his luck.  
  
"Wait a second," he said, closing his eyes as he cursed himself. This idea was madness. It was never going to work... but it was still their best shot. "Do you know how to waltz?"  
  
\---  
  
"Found you!"  
  
Mikuni didn't look up. He'd know this voice from a million others, and he really didn't feel like facing its owner at the moment... or today... or at all.  
  
"Tsurugi-san," he said, his voice coolly distant but crackling with obvious irritation, "now that you found me, would you mind losing me again? For the rest of your life, if possible."  
  
"So cold, Kuni-chan," Tsurugi replied with a pout in his voice. Mikuni felt a slight stab; yes, he really was. "And here I was just trying to find you because you're skipping on your work."  
  
"I'd do my work if it didn't involve you."  
  
"Am I really such a distraction that you can't focus with me around? I'm flattered, Kuni-chan. Maybe I should cover up?"  
  
"Cover yourself with dirt while you're at it. After you've descended down into a grave."  
  
"Oh, trust me, Kuni-chan. I'm not going down without dragging you down with me."  
  
"I'd like to see you try."  
  
There was a moment's silence. Mikuni stubbornly stared ahead, refusing to look at Tsurugi. Tsurugi made no sound. It didn't look like he was planning to walk up to him and stand in front of his face like he sometimes did when Mikuni wasn't looking at him... like he sometimes had after a fight back when they were still friends, before everything had gone to chaos.  
  
Was he respecting Mikuni's personal space? Why was he still standing there behind his back, unmoving, without making a noise? Was he trying to creep him into turning around? Was he up to something?  
  
Oh, alright. Fine.  
  
Sighing, he turned around. Tsurugi was standing a few feet away from him, unmoving, hands behind his back like a schoolboy, smiling like a Cheshire cat. There was no sign of anything he could have been plotting. Mikuni already regretted turning. It had been just what he wanted.  
  
"So, Tsurugi-san," he said, smiling dangerously, "what job do you want me to do?"  
  
Tsurugi smiled like someone who knew he had won. Mikuni felt his insides recoil with annoyance and disgust, even as his chest constricted with nostalgia, all the memories called back by this smile. "We need an announcer to open the tournament."  
  
Mikuni blinked back at him, refusing to admit defeat just yet. "So?"  
  
Tsurugi gave him the puppy-dog eyes, those disgusting ones he always used when he tried to make someone pay for his meal. "So won't you do that for me, Kuni-chan?"  
  
"Why should I? As the student council president, that's your job, Tsurugi-san."  
  
"Yes, it's mine to redirect and I'm redirecting it to you." Tsurugi's smile widened. "And in case you're thinking of a veto, I'll have you know the entire student council supports my decision."  
  
He was probably lying. Mikuni knew that; for some unknown reason Tsurugi was trying to nag and troll him into doing this job for him, and every part of his mind and body protested against that. He was so not doing anything for that guy again, ever.  
  
But then again, it was just a little job. And he did rather like talking to crowds and being the center of attention. It didn't involve working with Tsurugi either. So what was the harm in accepting this task?  
  
\---  
  
"And with that," Mikuni declared into the microphone, looking down at the crowd of students gathered in front of him, "I officially declare the sports festival opened! Enjoy yourselves, and may the best players win!"


	26. Game On!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air smelled of excitement and fun.

Tinker looked up at Shuuhei, wide-eyed and very puzzled. "W-Waltz?"  
  
"Y...yes." Shuuhei was blushing redder with every second. Damn it, what had he been thinking? This plan was ridiculous and never going to work, and on top of it all it was very, very, _very_ embarrassing. "Do you?"  
  
"Weeeeell..." Tinker pursed her lips, pondering the question. "I do think I can dance, but I'm not sure how well... Why? Do you want to dance with me, Loki-senpai?"  
  
_Oh, where is that hole in the ground when I need it the most._ Shuuhei blushed furiously, turning away and trying to ignore the curious blue eyes fixed on him as best as he could. "Not quite," he said stiffly, hoping and praying that Tinker wouldn't hear the frantic pounding of his heart. "Let me explain. In waltz, one of the partners takes a step forward when the other takes a step back. Are you following me?"  
  
Tinker nodded. "And?"  
  
"And," Shuuhei continued, "we can use that same technique to try and walk."  
  
"Walk where?"  
  
"Someplace where people will help us get untangled."  
  
"Sounds like a plan!" Tinker gave a tingling laugh, pressing up even closer against Shuuhei and wrapping an arm around his back as well as their current situation allowed. "Let's waltz out of here! One, two, three–"  
  
Shuuhei blushed and stiffened. He was hyperaware of the body pressed against his own, the arm snaked around his back. Was Tinker doing this on purpose? Did she even realize what in the world she was doing to him?  
  
Swallowing, he stepped forward... only to land right on Tinker's foot.  
  
"Ow! Loki-senpai!" she said with a giggle, retracting her foot just as Shuuhei did the same, blushing with embarrassment on top of the flustered blush. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Ahead," he said, nodding into the direction in question. "Where were _you_ planning to go?"  
  
Tinker stared at him like he had just asked the stupidest question in the world. " _I_ was planning to go ahead!" she said, her eyes even rounder than usual. "You should go backwards! Most people who can help us are that way!"  
  
Shuuhei didn't have much to reply to that, at least nothing that would convince her to let him lead the way and not go in the direction where more people were likely to see them and laugh at them. He was already used to embarrassing himself in front of people; what was one more time? And besides, he really needed to get out of this thing soon. With every passing second he became more and more aware of Tinker's body against his, and the sensation was doing things to his body and mind that he'd rather lock out and never think of again. He needed to get away from her, or else his mind would stop functioning.  
  
"Alright," he said, trying to lean back to get some distance between their bodies and failing when he was met with the resistance of the banner and Tinker's arm still wrapping around his back. "Lead the way, then."  
  
Tinker beamed and pressed closer to him, making Shuuhei feel like his entire body was blushing. Smiling cheerfully, she started humming a melody– a waltz, as he quickly recognized. "Let's go again!" she chimed, laughing. "One, two, three!"  
  
Shuuhei took a step backwards as Tinker stepped forward. Tinker moved to set her other foot, and Shuuhei mirrored her movement, carefully stepping back. Tinker continued counting the rhythm, and little by little they moved forward, slowly but steadily.  
  
"This is fun!" Tinker exclaimed, laughing in Shuuhei's face. "Do you think we can go any faster? That'd be even more fun!"  
  
Shuuhei frowned, trying to forget about her smiling face inches from his and use the part of his brain that was still able to think rationally. "We probably shouldn't," he remarked, painfully remembering his terrible luck. "It's probably dangerous, and I'd rather n– _whoa!_ "  
  
That was as far as he got before Tinker swept him around and started spinning them both down the hallway.  
  
Shuuhei gave an audible sigh. What was with this girl? And what was with him? He should really have been prepared for all of this. Was it this girl that kept him so distracted? If she was, then he should stay away from her. Her effects on him were dangerous... no, knowing his luck they were probably life-threatening.  
  
And yet he couldn't really bring himself to be angry at her. He couldn't bring himself to be mad at this girl beaming up at him, all laughter and optimism and ever-cheery sunshine, holding onto him and spinning them both around in an improvised dance over the courtyard. He could see people staring, and he could see them frowning or laughing, but all of them paled against her, humming a song and moving her feet to the rhythm, happily pulling him along.  
  
_You really are impossible. And I'm impossible too, letting you do all of this._  
  
His glasses were starting to slip off his nose. He was confused and a little embarrassed and dizzy and too hot, and maybe that was the reason why he did what he did next. Smiling the tiniest smile, he reached down as well as he could, wrapping a banner-tied arm around Tinker and joining her in the dance, gently setting the pace and slowing them both down as they continued to spin and stumble and waltz along.  
  
Tinker's eyes went wide. She looked at Shuuhei in awe, a blush crossing her cheeks, and then her face lit up, beaming and shining brighter than the summer sun. "Loki-senpai!" she exclaimed, laughing. "I never thought you could dance?"  
  
"I can't," Shuuhei replied without missing a beat. "I'm improvising."  
  
"That's rare. You weren't prepared?"  
  
_Of course not,_ Shuuhei thought, something stirring inside him. _All my life I've been prepared for everything, no matter how unlikely. But I was never prepared for you coming into my life and turning everything upside down._  
  
He didn't say that. Maybe he wasn't ready to say it out loud yet. Maybe he was afraid, afraid that saying it out loud would set his legendary bad luck back into motion, that if he said it out loud there'd be no way back, no way to deny that he was in the fast lane to losing his heart. He didn't want to fall in love. He was busy enough with other things, more than enough troubles to deal with without the additional responsibility of a relationship. And yet Tinker made it all seem so simple, so easy. Maybe he could give her a chance, maybe...  
  
A very familiar laugh snapped him out of his thoughts. "Shuu-chan, what in the world happened to you?"  
  
Shuuhei brought them both to a skidding halt, almost stumbling over Tinker's feet. His good mood popped and vanished like a soap bubble. Out of all the people who could possibly have found them... why did it just have to be Tsurugi?  
  
Oh, right. Bad luck. Of course.  
  
Tinker, on the other hand, looked perfectly unfazed. "Oh, Kamiya-senpai, good timing! I got tangled up in this banner and then Loki-senpai tried to help me and got tangled too so if you could maybe help us that'd be..."  
  
"Hmm." Tsurugi gave them his unreadable feline smile. "So that's the story, huh? And here I thought you two were just dancing over the school grounds for fun."  
  
"We weren't," Shuuhei said coldly, glaring at Tsurugi over the rim of his glasses. "Now would you _kindly_ untie us both, Student Council President?"  
  
Tsurugi pursed his lips, fake-pondering the question. "Well," he mused, "I might if you give me five thou–"  
  
Shuuhei cut him off. "Not in a lifetime."  
  
"So cold, Shuu-chan." Tsurugi pouted. "Am I not supposed to be your upperclassman? Children these days have no respect." He sighed, then his face lit up with a new idea, and Shuuhei instantly knew he was doomed. "Oh, I know! How about in return I can take a pic–"  
  
"No," said Shuuhei and another voice in unison.  
  
Shuuhei looked up. Jun had appeared from one of the doors, just in time. Shuuhei had never thought he could actually be grateful to see a member of the doomsday trio, but here he was, relieved; out of all three walking catastrophes Jun was the most bearable and reasonable one, and right now his timing couldn't have been better. Shaking his head, the third-year stepped up to his childhood friend and gave him a light smack over the head, sighing. "Tsurugi," he said, half amused, half exasperated, "we talked about this, didn't we?"  
  
Tsurugi laughed sheepishly. "But Jun-chan, look at them! I couldn't help messing with them a little!"  
  
"There's a right time for everything. Come on, Tsurugi, we need this banner before the tournament starts, so help me untie them, okay? I'll treat you to something later." He turned to Shuuhei and Tinker. "Sorry about him. You'll be free in a minute."  
  
For once nothing else went wrong, and a moment later Shuuhei did find himself free, the banner neatly folded in his hands. Tinker was finally standing at a safe distance from him and he could finally, finally, _finally_ think clearly again.  
  
Still, he wasn't only relieved. He was still embarrassed, embarrassed to have been caught in this mess, embarrassed to have ended up in such a situation in the first place, to have become tangled up in this stupid banner and to have proposed the waltzing tactic and let Tinker pull him into what was almost a real waltz. And part of him missed her already. He missed the feeling of her arm around his back, her body against his, warm and somehow comfortable. Part of him wanted to pull her closer again, just to feel her like that once more.  
  
_Stop it. This is embarrassing and not like yourself at all._  
  
"We'll be taking care of this banner now," Jun said, taking the fabric from Shuuhei's hands. "Before anything else goes wrong with it. Sorry to bother you two with this."  
  
And with that he and Tsurugi were gone, and Shuuhei was left alone with Tinker.  
  
"Uh," he said awkwardly, finally adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "About this..."  
  
"This was fun!" Tinker interrupted him, smiling. "Let's do something again sometime! Or wait, I've got a better idea." She grinned. "Next time let's dance for real! Without a banner."  
  
Shuuhei blushed redder than a tomato. Still, he couldn't help returning her smile, just a little bit.  
  
"Why not," he said, looking away. "It doesn't sound all bad."  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya sprinted through the hallways, darting down stairs, skidding around corners, tripping over his feet, catching himself just in time and still running. Dammit, he was late, he was late as hell! Why in the world hadn't his alarm rung?  
  
Okay, so maybe it was his fault. Maybe the alarm had rung, and he'd slept through it like a log, only to wake up an hour later and realize he had horribly, terribly overslept. In hindsight that was probably it. In hindsight he didn't care. The whole morning had passed in a rushed blur of panic and adrenaline, a hectic stumbling and dashing about and trying to get ready when the whole universe seemed hell-bent on slowing him down as much as possible. First he had dropped his toothbrush, then he hadn't found part of his cheer squad outfit, then he'd struggled tying one of his shoes and almost tripped. Somehow he had managed to only leave his room ten minutes late, probably forgetting half his things in the process, but he didn't care. All he cared was that he still made it in time.  
  
He wished he hadn't been so tired yesterday. The past few days had been nothing but pure stress; classes had been followed by practice, practice by homework, and in between he'd still had to study and help people out and take care of soon-to-be-due projects, to say nothing of eating and sleeping. He'd barely even had time to check his messages. Yesterday had been a particularly grueling practice session; they had rehearsed their cheering routine over and over and over because it wouldn't work out, and by the time Sakuya came back to his room it had been late in the evening and he had been so spent he collapsed on his bed without even bothering to take off his clothes.  
  
It wasn't that he disliked these busy days. On the contrary; he liked having a lot to do and feeling needed, and he liked spending fun time with fun people. Being on the cheer squad had been fun, a ton of fun once he got used to Misono's presence, and sometimes even fun because Misono was around. He liked the atmosphere, and he liked the way everyone was fired up, and he liked the silly shirts they all wore to cheer their classmates on.  
  
But right now he really, really needed a break.  
  
He felt like he hadn't had a free minute in five days or more. Every waking second had been spent being busy, and he'd barely had time for himself anymore; he'd barely had time to read or watch a series or play video games, and he'd barely had time to hang out with his friends. It had been okay with Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki; those three were his classmates after all, and they saw each other during classes. But he hadn't seen or heard anything from Tsubaki and the gang in forever, and it was starting to feel a bit lonely.  
  
Sakuya couldn't believe he was admitting this to himself, but without these freaks he really was lonely. Ever since Tsubaki had spirited him away from home and invited him to live together with everyone they had all become a big silly family; a very annoying big silly family, sometimes, but a family nonetheless. The first one he'd ever had... no, the only one. Mahiru and Ryuusei and Koyuki were his friends, but they could never give him what these guys could give him. They didn't share what he shared with the gang – a story, a fate, all their secrets.  
  
As soon as this tournament was over, he was messaging all of them. He would meet up with them as soon as he could, hang out with them again and refill his battery, going back to the people where he could be completely and truly himself, without any lies or masquerades. The people he didn't have to impress. The people he didn't have to convince he was happy when he wasn't feeling happy at all.  
  
Yes, he definitely would. The first thing he'd do when he had time for himself was open the group chat and catch up on the ten thousand messages and twenty-nine new inside jokes he had missed. Then he'd message them all, explain everything, and ask to hang out. It would be awkward and embarrassing and the others would probably tease him and Otogiri would sit back and be no help whatsoever, but he had to do it. He wasn't entirely human without these guys.  
  
He thought of Tsubaki, remembered the way he sulked every time their group wasn't complete, and felt a stab of guilt. Was Tsubaki all depressed again because he hadn't been around? He should probably call him later. Or even watch his match and cheer him on if he could.  
  
Wait, what was he thinking? He was on the cheer squad. He was supposed to cheer for his own class! And yet...  
  
Shaking his head at himself, he picked up his pace, sprinting the last few steps to catch up with his classmates ready to walk into the gym, and tackled two of them from behind. "Sorry I'm late, guys!"  
  
\---  
  
Kuro closed his eyes.  
  
The sounds of the gym surrounded him from all sides like an ocean of noise. Footsteps, the cheers from the crowd, volleyballs bouncing and shoes squeaking over the gym floor, the excited voices of his teammates and opponents, everything flooded together into a single wave of sound, rising and falling like the water at the shore of the ocean. The air smelled of excitement and fun.  
  
He took a deep breath, then another one. This was kind of relaxing, these voices, this atmosphere, this noise that reminded him of the sea that he hadn't seen since he'd been sent to live abroad.  
  
He couldn't believe he was admitting this, but he was almost looking forward to this tournament. No... he _was_ looking forward, no _almost_ needed. Just a few minutes ago he had been a bundle of raw nerves, but now the panic had cooled down to turn into something that closely resembled excitement, the same excitement that was buzzing all through the air, spirited and contagious.  
  
He was here. Mahiru was here. His friends were here. And they were here to play, to have fun, to win.  
  
Kuro opened his eyes. The net stretched out in front of him, close enough to touch if he extended his hand. His gaze roamed over their opponents, all six of them, standing in their positions, ready to start the match. There was no one he knew. He took in every single face, every single form in minute detail, his eyes sharpened by years of combat experience. His body was on alert, tense, but without the lingering unwillingness that came with a fight, the guilt over hurting people. This feeling was lighter somehow, more playful. If he had to choose, he'd compare it to a cat sneaking up on its favorite toy.  
  
He turned around, looking at his own teammates. Ryuusei and Koyuki smiled at him when their gazes met, and Kuro responded with a friendly look, even if he couldn't quite bring up the courage to smile at them yet. The girls glanced down when he looked at them, but as soon as he turned away he could feel their eyes on him again, curious but not hostile. Mahiru didn't notice him at first; he was looking at the ball in his hands, gently spinning it around, focusing. Kuro's eyes rested on him. There was something about the way his friend stood there that captivated him, smiling slightly, brown eyes fixed on the ball, warm with determination. He was beautiful, Kuro realized, and some part of him wasn't surprised at all. This wasn't news to him. He might not have noticed it before, but Mahiru had always been beautiful.  
  
As if he had noticed Kuro's thoughts, Mahiru looked up and smiled, lighting up with a gentle warmth that lit up the whole world. Kuro felt his cheeks reddening, but for some reason he didn't feel embarrassed to be caught staring. The feeling stirring in him was different, and he wasn't sure there was a word to describe it.  
  
Kuro wasn't sure, but he felt like just for the fragment of a split second, he had smiled back.  
  
The referee blew the whistle, and his thoughts faded into the background. Mahiru tossed the ball up, stepping back to jump and hit it in midair, slamming it cleanly over the net. Kuro followed its course with his eyes, quiet and tense, watched as it crossed the net, flew down, as one of their opponents hit it back up. He watched it fly to the boy standing at the net, and he watched him toss it up to one of his teammates, who hit it back over their net.  
  
_Right._ He didn't know how he knew it would go that way, but he did. Kuro darted forward, close to the net, hitting the ball back to Mahiru, who darted forward to toss it to Koyuki. Koyuki leaped up, slamming the ball down on the side of their opponents.  
  
Their first point.  
  
Mahiru and Koyuki beamed and exchanged high fives. Ryuusei gave him a wide grin. "Dude, what the hell was that receive? That was even more epic than when you saved the cookies!"  
  
"Ah, uh..." Kuro ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "That was nothing. Can't deal."  
  
"No, that was great!" Koyuki piped in from the other side, smiling openly. "I could never have predicted that!"  
  
"You're the one who scored though," Kuro replied, giving him a half-hearted thumbs-up. "Nice."  
  
Koyuki's smile widened as he thanked him, giving him a high five. Kuro looked down at his hands. They were tingling a little where Koyuki had hit them, but it didn't feel half bad.  
  
So this was what it felt like... getting a high five from a friend.  
  
Kuro's hands shook a little. His face reddened with excitement, his eyes glowing and sparkling and shining as he looked up again, meeting Mahiru's gaze across the court. Mahiru beamed at him, his eyes radiating the same excitement Kuro felt, joy and so much pride.  
  
This was fun. This match was fun. Playing with friends was fun.  
  
He had never expected to say this about a team sport, but he was enjoying himself. He was enjoying this match. He wanted to play more, put his all into it and win, just so they could go to the next round, just so he could keep playing with these guys longer. He didn't just want to get this over with. He didn't just want to play for fun. He wanted to win and keep winning, win every match until they could carry the first prize home.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, he turned back to face the net, his gaze scanning over each and every one of his opponents. They looked determined, but so did his teammates. His team would win. He'd take care of that.  
  
_Bring it on._  
  
\---  
  
Tetsu caught his breath, slowing his steps for a moment.  
  
They were playing the third match in a row. It was the semifinals, and his team had won both matches by a wide margin. They'd barely caught a break all morning, and they were starting to get tired, but it had been fine, it hadn't been hard to keep going so far, to keep winning.  
  
Now, however...  
  
Now he wasn't so sure if they could really win this match. They were up against the third-years of all people, and one of their players was not only almost as tall as Tetsu, but faster and more unpredictable to boot. Whenever Tetsu went up against him he'd dodge, or spin and dart off the other way, or pull out some trick that almost looked like magic. Tetsu was spent just from trying to keep up, and the match had barely lasted five minutes.  
  
Twenty minutes. This match only lasted twenty minutes. Fifteen more to go.  
  
He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up.  
  
The third-year dribbled up to the net, ready to shoot. Tetsu ran over to block the shot, ignoring the heavy feeling in his legs. The third-year grimaced, his face distorting into a mask of furious annoyance, and passed to a teammate who slammed the ball into the net.  
  
Their opponents cheered and exchanged high fives, their classmates in the crowd shouting encouragements. Tetsu breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling like an earthquake, struggling to get enough air into his lungs. All the running and sprinting and jumping was starting to take its toll on him. To make matters worse his mind was exhausted too, spent from the struggle of trying to keep up with this ridiculous tall pink-haired upperclassman who always had a new trick up his sleeve. He wasn't made for this much thinking. Someone else should do the thinking, and he'd take care of the rest.  
  
He looked around. His teammates looked just as exhausted as he was, if not more. They looked tired and discouraged, and Tetsu didn't have to talk to them to know they were on the verge of giving up, of playing half-heartedly and not trying anymore and simply being glad to have made it to the semifinals. None of them had a strategy to stop the third-years. None of them knew what to do.  
  
_If only Hugh was here,_ Tetsu thought, wiping beads of sweat from his forehead. _Or Misono-senpai. I bet they'd have a plan._  
  
But they weren't here. Hugh was in the crowd or getting ready to play volleyball, and where Misono was he didn't know. They couldn't help him now. He had to handle this on his own.  
  
What should he do? How could he hope to stop someone who was obviously leagues smarter than him?  
  
Crap, he wasn't good at strategies. His head hurt from thinking, and now he was feeling even more tired than before. What should he do? He didn't want to give this match up yet. His teammates were still relying on him, and he wanted to play with them more. He wanted to win with these guys and go to the finals, just because playing together had been so much fun. And they were believing in him. If anyone could stop this third-year, it had to be him.  
  
But how?  
  
His teammates threw the ball in and passed back and forth between each other, launching a half-hearted attack. One of the third-years intercepted, passing to his teammate, who jumped to shoot. Tetsu ran up to him, leaped and hit the ball out of the air, slamming it down on the ground.  
  
The pink-haired third-year made an angered grimace, stomping up to the boy who'd passed. "Mocchiiiiiiiii!" he screeched, grabbing the poor guy and shaking him viciously. "Why'd you pass to that guy? You should pass to me instead! I was totally freeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
The shaken third-year – Mocchi? – gave him a diplomatic smile. "Sorry, Berukia," he said with an apologetic look. "I just wanted to give the other guys a chance too... there's five people on the team, you know?"  
  
"But I'm the beeeest!" Berukia replied, shaking him some more. "Pass to me! I want to wiiiiiiiin!"  
  
Tetsu's teammates ran up to him, giving him smiles and high fives and congratulating him on his block. Tetsu felt his courage coming back a little, seeing them all cheer up like this. The rest of the third-years he could handle, apparently. The only problem was that Berukia.  
  
What should he do about him? Thinking had never been his strong suit... why did he have to think?  
  
Some kind of plan...  
  
The third-years picked up the ball and played it back and forth again, always a split second faster than Tetsu's classmates marking them. Then the ball ended up in Berukia's hands, and he started dribbling towards the net.  
  
_Do something. Now._  
  
Tetsu hurried up to him, his head reeling. Where would Berukia go? What would he do next? Would he dodge to the side? Bounce the ball through Tetsu's legs? Play it back and forth between his feet to put him off guard and confuse him? Would he try to shoot from here? Where should he go? Should he jump? What was Berukia planning to do, what should he–  
  
Berukia dribbled past him, effortlessly dunking the ball into the net.  
  
Tetsu stood on the spot, dazed, unmoving. What had just happened? When had he... how...  
  
It hadn't worked. Berukia had gone past him even easier than before. Why hadn't he moved? He should have done something, and instead he had just stood there like a pillar of stone, watching it all happen.  
  
His legs felt heavy, as if they were made of lead. He was breathing hard even though he hadn't moved at all, exhaustion weighing down on his shoulders. His teammates' eyes rested on him. He could feel their disappointment, even if he didn't look at a single one of them.  
  
He was tired. Tired from running, tired from thinking too hard, tired from playing so many matches in a row and tired from going up against someone he couldn't seem to beat. And he still had over ten more minutes to play, ten more minutes before he could finally sit down and rest again.  
  
"Sendagaya!"  
  
Tetsu looked up. His eyes went wide, searching through the crowd. Had he just imagined it? He knew this voice. Misono... was that Misono calling his name?  
  
"Don't you dare give up now!" Misono called again, and this time Tetsu spotted him, pushing through the crowd to get to the front. "You can still do it! I believe in you!"  
  
Misono pushed the last few people aside, coming to stand at the edge of the court, a little disheveled and out of breath, as if he wasn't used to shoving his way through crowds. Tetsu's feet moved on his own. Turning, he ran over to him, his eyes still wide with amazement and gratitude. "Senpai..."  
  
"I told you I'd watch your match, idiot." Misono scoffed at him, blushing. "And I didn't come here to watch you lose, do you understand? What was that right now? Were you overthinking or what?"  
  
Tetsu ran a hand through his hair, feeling a little caught. "Uh, probably."  
  
"Idiot!" Misono planted his hands on his hips. "Thinking doesn't suit you. Rely on your intuition like you always do, you simple-minded imbecile!"  
  
"In...tuition...?"  
  
_Of course,_ part of Tetsu whispered. Misono was right. He wasn't the type to think or make plans; that was other people's job. He was someone who relied on other people's plans to make them work... and if there were no plans, he always relied on his gut feeling.  
  
Maybe they still had a chance to win like this.  
  
He smiled, his newfound courage spreading across his face and shining in his eyes. "Thanks, Misono!"  
  
He didn't realize he forgot the honorific. He didn't notice the way Misono started blushing and stuttering as he returned to the team either.  
  
This match still wasn't over. And for the rest of it he'd only rely on his gut instinct and have fun.  
  
The match resumed. Tetsu's team had the ball again, and they dribbled and passed it back and forth, trying to evade the third-years trying to get in their way. Tetsu kept his eyes locked on the ball, watching its course. Any second now he'd get it, and then...  
  
_Now._  
  
The ball landed in his hands. Tetsu sped forward, dribbling it in one hand, then in the other. A third-year tried to jump in his way, but he dodged him. From the corner of his eye he saw Mocchi approaching and dashed away to the side, never losing sight of the net.  
  
Then Berukia appeared. He appeared before Tetsu saw him coming, and in the blink of an eye he was _there_ , filling out his vision, ready to hit the ball out of his hands. Ready to pull another magic trick and confuse them all to score more points.  
  
Misono's voice echoed in Tetsu's mind. _Rely on your intuition._  
  
And his intuition was telling him... to go _that_ way.  
  
Tetsu spun to the side. Berukia reached out his arm to stop him, spreading out to the side as much as he could. The ball bounced through the gap between his legs before he could realize what was going on.  
  
Tetsu dashed around him. Berukia followed, realizing what was happening. He reached out his arm to grab hold of the ball...  
  
...but Tetsu was faster. A split second before Berukia's fingers could touch the ball, he snatched it, dribbling the remaining few feet to the basket, jumping and dunking it through the hoop.  
  
The ball fell down on the ground, bouncing and rolling away. Tetsu landed and turned. All eyes were resting on him, wide and round with wonder.  
  
He'd done it. He had gone up against Berukia and come out on top.  
  
Looked like they could still turn this match around, after all.  
  
\---  
  
Hyde gave a frustrated scream, tearing at his hair.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaargh! Dammit!" he yelled, gesticulating furiously and looking very much ready to start jumping up and down on the spot. "It's not working anymore! Why isn't it working?"  
  
A volleyball launched through the air, hitting him square in the face. "Shut up, shit rat!" Licht shouted from the other side of the court. "You're disrupting everyone's concentration! Stop distracting everyone just because you failed a few times!"  
  
"Yes, I failed!" Hyde shot back, pouting. "And not just a few times! I've failed at everything so far, Lichtan! Everything!"  
  
He gave a loud sigh. To people who hadn't watched him play so far it might seem like a comical exaggeration, but it was true. Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong so far, and it had gone wrong in the most stupid and humiliating way possible. Thanks to him his team was losing, and his classmates were probably all mad at him, and the worst thing was that he didn't even know what in the world was going on.  
  
What was wrong with him today? He'd been improving so much! Ever since he had hit that blind spike his performance had changed for the better, his plays becoming more steady and secure with every passing minute, the misses growing few and far between. He'd thought he had finally mastered volleyball. He had been so pumped for today, for facing off against the other teams and showing the whole school how well he and Licht worked together.  
  
But today he was back to square one.  
  
"Lichtan!" He picked up the ball that had hit his face, ready to fling it back at his friend. "How can you say I failed just a few times? I keep on messing up! Aren't you mad at me at all? I bet you are mad, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht scowled at him. "Shut up and play, shit rat!"  
  
"I'm trying! But it's not working and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong!"  
  
Licht closed his eyes and sighed. Then he gave Hyde a very long look and marched straight up to him, coming to a stop mere inches away. He took the ball from Hyde's hands, blue eyes never leaving his own red ones. His face didn't reveal what he was thinking.  
  
"I am mad at you," he declared, and Hyde was on the verge of making a triumphant remark when Licht continued. "For yelling and whining so much, shit rat! Everybody makes mistakes!" His gaze deepened, his eyes coming to shine with that profound look he always got before saying something ridiculous. "Don't give up. Practice makes perfect."  
  
Hyde wasn't even surprised, just mildly exasperated. "Lichtan," he said with a sigh, "I hate to break it to you, but we're not at practice right now! We're in the middle of a match, I don't have time to practice and get perfect!"  
  
Licht still looked frighteningly serious. "You always have time to practice."  
  
"Yeah, till we lose! And then I can't even use my new skills!"  
  
"Excuse me," said a voice from the other side of the net, "ref! Isn't it time to shut them up? Some of us still wanna finish a match!"  
  
Otogiri, who had been following the conversation with growing interest and a suspicious blush on her cheeks, jolted out of her thoughts. "O-Of course," she said quietly, blowing her whistle with visible regret. "2-A, please stop talking and continue playing. This delay is a problem."  
  
Hyde huffed in frustration, snatching the ball back from Licht's hands as his partner returned to his position. It was his turn to serve, and of course he'd serve into the net and fail again. Why should things suddenly start going well again now? At this point nobody would even notice if he served it into the net on purpose!  
  
"Stupid ball!" he burst out, slamming his palm against the volleyball in midair. "Stupid game!"  
  
The ball swooshed straight over the net, shooting across the court in a straight line and slamming against the wall on the opposite side of the gym.  
  
There was silence. Then the deafening tweet of a whistle. Otogiri signaled another point for the opposing team.  
  
Hyde looked at the score. The others were ten points ahead, only two points away from winning. He was only two failures away from making them all lose in the first round.  
  
What was wrong with him? He had been looking forward to today! He had wanted to go to the finals and win the title! He had thought it was possible! He had been so excited to play, and now all he felt was frustration. And he wasn't just ruining it for himself, he was ruining it for his teammates too. They were all good players. They didn't deserve to have all the fun ruined by the mess he kept making.  
  
Maybe if he pretended to be injured and subbed out...  
  
Maybe then the others could turn it around and–  
  
A roundhouse kick hit his back, sending him stumbling across the court. Rubbing his back and sulking, he turned around, ready to complain– and froze.  
  
Licht's expression, his whole aura had changed. The air around him had fallen down to subzero temperatures. His eyes were shooting daggers of ice. There was nothing about him now that wasn't dead serious, radiating calm, freezing fury.  
  
Hyde shrank back. "Lichtan," he began, "I'm sor–"  
  
Licht took a menacing step closer, both hands shooting out to grab his shirt and yank him upright. "Don't you even dare, shit rat!"


	27. Written for the Winners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We need you playing like this for at least one more match!"

Hyde paused, wide-eyed. His reflection looked tiny and pale in Licht's smoldering blue eyes, two ice crystals radiating cold that crept over his skin, chilling his bones. "Lich...tan...?"  
  
"You think you wanna sub out, right?" Licht's hands gripped into Hyde's shirt, digging into the fabric. "Forget it, shit rat! Don't even think about ditching us now!"  
  
Hyde looked at him, looked at these furious, determined eyes and felt only exasperation, exasperation and annoyance and heavy, tired exhaustion. "Ditching you?" he repeated, incredulous. "Angel-chan, please! It's a sacrifice! I'm sacrificing myself so you guys can still win!"  
  
"Cut the drama! You're not in a theater, shit rat!" Licht yelled at him, lifting him up. "You think we can't win with you on the team? That's why we can't! You have to picture yourself winning, stupid Hyde!"  
  
Hyde blinked, taken aback at the use of his real name. Licht was right, he realized. He had long given up on succeeding.  
  
Was that the reason why...?  
  
Maybe. But what could he do about it?  
  
"You're funny, Lichtan!" he said, giving a laugh that sounded a little too fake, even in his own ears. "You do know I'm trying, right? But newsflash, I can't! I can't see it, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht yanked him closer, his eyes lighting up with a blue fire, glowing with determination. "Then picture it!" he exclaimed. "Close your eyes and picture it, Hyde!"  
  
Hyde closed his eyes, but there was nothing. He couldn't see them winning with him on the team. He could only see more failures, more mistakes and disappointed faces.  
  
"Imagine." Licht's voice reached him through the darkness, clear and vibrant. "The court under your shoes. The shouts of the crowd. The lights in the ceiling. The net stretching out in front of you. Our team lined up right and left. The ball flies over the net. Someone hits it up next to you, and it flies to me. You start running, close your eyes and jump."  
  
Hyde shuddered. He could see it. He could see every detail, coming alive through Licht's words, his powerful voice, a series of bright, radiant images that felt so real that he almost thought he could touch them.  
  
"Your feet can't touch the ground," Licht continued. "You're flying. You feel like you'll never have to land again. You feel like you can do anything. Your arm shoots through the air. Your palm collides with the ball and smashes it down. You can hear it hitting the ground, way below your feet. You open your eyes... and it's on their side. You scored a point. The match isn't over. We can still win because of you."  
  
He could see it. He could see everything.  
  
Licht paused, and the silence echoed through Hyde's mind, reverberating in his body. His words were still alive in him, flowing through his veins, drumming in his head, washing over his heart like a crashing wave, playing in his ears like a symphony. He could see them all, feel them with all five senses, breathe them and taste them and sense them down to the tips of his fingers. Something awoke inside him, courage, determination. He could picture it now. He could picture himself succeeding.  
  
He could still do it.  
  
Hyde opened his eyes, meeting Licht's bright blue gaze, locking eyes with him and sinking into that intense violet shade, filled to the brim with emotion. Licht's expression softened, the fire in his eyes settling down to an understanding glow. "Did you see it?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Licht smiled, and Hyde felt a legion of butterflies taking flight in his stomach, fluttering in his chest, light and giddy. There it was again, that smile he had wanted to see again, the one that was all pride and happiness and everything that sent his head spinning. The genuine smile Licht meant only for him... it was back, and it was right in front of him, inches away from his face. He could see the shine in Licht's eyes and the slight hint of pink on his cheeks, his entire face glowing and sparkling proudly. It was breathtaking. And it was beautiful.  
  
"Told you so," Licht said quietly, letting go of Hyde's shirt to place his hands on his shoulders, still glowing with pride. "Don't even think about giving up again! You got an angel with you! As long as I'm here, you're invincible!"  
  
Hyde's heart skipped a beat. A wide grin spread over his face, determined and grateful and so unbearably happy he could cry. Nodding, he stepped away, going back to his position to watch for the incoming ball. He had to keep his eyes on it, and then everything would turn out as Licht had said. After all, Licht was right. As long as he was here, Hyde was always invincible. It had always been that way. Nothing could defeat them if they were together.  
  
This feeling...  
  
He didn't know what it was, but he couldn't get enough of this feeling. He couldn't get enough of the way he felt when they were together like this, as a team, the way he felt when Licht told him they were a team and smiled at him and supported him when he wouldn't even support himself. The warmth, the butterflies, the strange, tingling joy... he couldn't get enough of this happiness, this strange sensation that swept him away every time Licht gave him a smile and showed him he cared.  
  
He couldn't get enough... of Licht.  
  
The realization hit him in the face, fast and hard. He blinked. Blinked again. Stared at Licht, then down at his hands, as if he still couldn't believe it himself. He had feelings for Licht... no, he was in love with him. In love with Licht Jekylland Todoroki.  
  
Why hadn't he noticed earlier? It had been so obvious. He had been in love with Licht for weeks and he hadn't noticed at all, had ignored all the signs and pretended he hadn't lost his heart already, when all along it had been staring him in the face. He loved Licht Jekylland Todoroki, there was no more denying it now.  
  
For a brief moment he panicked. What should he do now? Now that he had finally realized how he felt about this awesome, ridiculous, beautiful human being, what was he supposed to do?  
  
The ball flew over the net, and he dropped the thought. He could still think about that later. Right now he had a match to turn around and a promise to keep.  
  
\---  
  
"Guys! We did it!"  
  
Kuro turned around. The referee's whistle was still ringing in his ears as he looked at the score board, incredulous. His team had won. By a wide margin.  
  
They were advancing to the next round.  
  
"We..." Kuro looked down at his hands, then at his teammates, his eyes wide with wonder. "We... won?"  
  
They had won. They were going to the next round. They could still play more. Together.  
  
They had won... together. He and his friends.  
  
"We did it!" Mahiru shouted again, running up to him to grab his shoulders, smiling proudly. "We did it, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro looked into his eyes, still unable to believe all of this was really happening. "Y-Yeah," he mumbled, stunned. "We... won."  
  
"'Course we did!" Ryuusei piped in, throwing an arm around Mahiru and grinning. "What did you think? We're an awesome team after all!"  
  
Of course they were. Kuro knew that. He just couldn't believe he was part of this team, actually managing to work together with people he had been afraid of mere days ago, people who had been afraid of him mere days ago. He couldn't believe he had gone a whole match without failing, without making a stupid mistake and disappointing everyone.  
  
It had gone by so fast. Once the match had started it had all fallen into place; everything had fit together like puzzle pieces, and within seconds they had all lapsed into a flow as if they were all parts of the same body, connected by the same mind. The rival team hadn't stood a chance. The match had passed in a rush of flowing movements, a motion blur Kuro couldn't remember in detail.  
  
All he remembered was the feeling. It had been fun, playing together, even more than at practice. He'd had to move around and communicate with people and do everything he hated, and he had enjoyed it. He wanted to do it more.  
  
And when he looked into Mahiru's shining eyes, when he saw Ryuusei's grin and Koyuki's surprised, happy smile, he knew exactly why.  
  
Mahiru smiled, facing the whole team. "Good game, everyone!" he said. "Here's to the next round! Right, guys?"  
  
The others nodded, shouting words of agreement as they exchanged high fives. Kuro stayed quiet. He wasn't the type to wear his joy on his face or show it loudly like the others. He couldn't even smile. He just looked at all of them with shining eyes and hoped they could see the happiness sparkling in them, reflecting the excitement and warm gratitude tingling and fluttering in his chest.  
  
One after another they walked off the court to make room for the next match, and Kuro almost regretted leaving. Almost.  
  
A water bottle was pushed into his hands, and Kuro snapped out of his thoughts to find Mahiru walking by his side, smiling up at him. "You should drink something, Kuro," he said. "We need you playing like this for at least one more match!"  
  
Kuro nodded, his hands closing around the water bottle, relishing in the cool feeling against his palms. "Thanks."  
  
Mahiru's smile widened. "You did great!" he said, patting him on the back. "See? I told you this whole thing wouldn't be that bad!"  
  
Kuro nodded again. Yes, Mahiru had been right, as usual. He shouldn't have worried so much. He was glad Mahiru had talked him into joining this team with these people. If he hadn't tried it he would never have seen and heard and felt so many things; he would never have known what a high five from a friend felt like, he would never have experienced the joy of winning together, and he would never have befriended Mahiru's friends. He would still be afraid of them, and they'd be scared of him. They would never have talked to him like that, smiled at him, included him in their group as if he had always belonged there.  
  
"It wasn't as much of a pain as I thought, I guess," he admitted, taking a gulp from his water bottle. "Still exhausting though."  
  
Mahiru pouted at him, but the twinkle in his eyes was enough to tell Kuro he didn't mean it. "Geez, Kuro! And here I thought you were having fun!"  
  
Kuro yawned, playing along with the joke. "Volleyball's more fun as a video game."  
  
"As if! Nothing beats the real thing!" Mahiru hit him over the head with his water bottle. "You just need to get out more, you lazy shut-in!"  
  
"Too much trouble."  
  
"Geez!"  
  
"What? You can't play real life on easy mode. I want a walkthrough." Kuro screwed the cap of the bottle back on. "Or a cheat code."  
  
Mahiru poured a handful of water onto his palm and splashed it in Kuro's face. "You've been playing way too many video games! Real life is bigger than a game! And more fun because it's so unpredictable, right?"  
  
"It's a pain 'cause it's unpredictable."  
  
"That answer was totally predictable!"  
  
"Your reply was predictable. You're so unoriginal, Mahiru."  
  
"Who are you calling unoriginal? I'm simple! Simple is best!"  
  
Kuro yawned. "More like simple-minded."  
  
" _Excuse you!_ "  
  
"Ow... Don't throw your bottle at your cute teammate... what a pain..."  
  
"Hey!" Ryuusei called from above, leaning over the railing to look down at them. "You two gonna follow sometime soon or should we get you a room instead?"  
  
They both blushed and hurried to follow their friends, silently agreeing to splash Ryuusei with water as soon as they met him.  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya knew he should follow the others. His classmates had already gone ahead to cheer on the volleyball team, and he should cheer with them. Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki were all on that team, and he'd promised to cheer them on as loudly as possible. He shouldn't be standing around here, watching the finals of the basketball tournament even though his class wasn't even playing anymore.  
  
But even though his classmates weren't playing, that didn't mean he didn't know anyone on the court at all. He did. And that was why he couldn't leave.  
  
His eyes rested on Tsubaki, running across the court and trying to take possession of the ball, passing, dribbling, shooting. To everyone else he looked normal; a quick, talented player who kept outsmarting his taller opponents and making up for his disadvantage in height with speed, tricks and technique, his favorite strategy in any kind of physical face-off. But Sakuya knew better. Tsubaki looked troubled, and Sakuya could see it.  
  
Why was he so troubled, he wondered? He didn't just look a little sad or out of it, he looked downright depressed. This wasn't one of his moods, this was something bigger weighing down on him, and Sakuya couldn't help the stab of guilt shooting through his chest. Something had happened to Tsubaki, and he didn't know what it was. He hadn't been there to support him when he had probably needed every single one of them to cheer him up and listen to whatever was bothering him. If he hadn't been so busy, if he had made time for him... would Tsubaki look a little less down now?  
  
He should leave. He should really leave. The volleyball match was about to start. The others were probably already wondering where he was. He could always talk to Tsubaki later or text him and ask if he was okay.  
  
He knew all that... and still he didn't move an inch.  
  
The way Tsubaki looked wasn't normal. He wasn't supposed to look this down. What was wrong with him? What had happened while Sakuya hadn't been around?  
  
How was he supposed to leave when Tsubaki was like this? How was he supposed to leave when he couldn't help worrying?  
  
He stood on his tip-toes, eyes fixed on Tsubaki's back. _Look this way,_ he thought. He didn't want Tsubaki to see him. He just wanted to see the look on his face, see if his expression betrayed anything about his feelings, about what might have happened. Would he be okay? Sakuya would have to leave him at any minute now... would he really be okay?  
  
But Tsubaki didn't look his way. He only looked at the ball, struggling harder and harder to defend it from the first-years. They were strong this year. Especially that one tall blond one, Mahiru's friend from middle school. Tetsu or something.  
  
He should really leave.  
  
Sakuya clenched his fists. The others hadn't noticed it yet, but Tsubaki was having trouble. He wouldn't be able to keep up against the first-years much longer. He was exhausted, and the bad mood was only weighing down on him more, slowing him down like a weight tied to his legs. Sakuya could see it from the way his breathing grew heavier, the way his movements got slower, clumsier. He wouldn't last much longer, and the match was still going on.  
  
Worry tensed in Sakuya's chest. _It's only a dumb tournament,_ he tried to remind himself. _Who cares if he loses? He's just tired, it's not like he's going to collapse with exhaustion or anything._  
  
But still... but still...!  
  
Tsubaki lost the ball to the first-years again. His classmate chased after them. He stayed behind with his hands on his knees, leaning forward, breathing hard.  
  
Then he straightened, looked up... and turned around.  
  
For a split second Sakuya could see the look on his face. He saw exhaustion, worry, insecurity, loneliness. And suddenly he couldn't stop himself.  
  
"Don't give up yet, Tsubaki-san! You can do it!"  
  
The voices around him fell silent. The whole gym went quiet, holding its breath in surprise.  
  
Sakuya swallowed, shrinking back to hide in the sea of faces, pretending he had nothing to do with the shout of encouragement that had suddenly erupted from the middle of the crowd. Around him people were looking back and forth, searching for the owner of the lone voice. Thankfully none of them knew him. They'd never suspect it was him.  
  
They didn't. Tsubaki did.  
  
Tsubaki had recognized his voice, of course. He was looking up in awe, wide-eyed, searching for Sakuya's face in the crowd, the surprise on his face mingling with happiness. Then a wide smile spread across his face; the sadness that had seemed to weigh him down disappeared, and he beamed, waving in Sakuya's direction before turning around with new vigor. He looked refreshed now, energized; the way he darted across the court made him look like he'd only just been subbed in, without a hint of exhaustion.  
  
Sakuya smiled to himself. Whatever it was that had been weighing down on Tsubaki's mind, his encouragement had chased it off. Tsubaki would be fine. Even if he didn't win the match, he wouldn't look as depressed anymore.  
  
Sticking his hands in his pockets, Sakuya turned and pushed his way out of the crowd, walking away. His classmates were probably already waiting for him.  
  
\---  
  
Tsubaki sat down on the bench, stretching and smiling. His class had lost in the end, but he didn't mind. He was still in a good mood, and something as simple and mundane as the result of a match couldn't bring him down.  
  
Sakuya had watched him play. Sakuya had cheered him on.  
  
The smile on his face widened until he was glad it was stopped by his ears, because otherwise he was sure it would just have gone around his whole head in a circle. Sakuya had cheered him on! Hadn't he said he wouldn't watch his match? Hadn't he been afraid of people finding out about their connection if he did?  
  
And yet he'd been here. He had watched him play, and he had cheered him on, and he hadn't cared about people seeing him or hearing him. Even if he had still hidden in the crowd in the end. He had been here, and he had encouraged Tsubaki, in front of half the school, at the top of his lungs.  
  
There was still hope, then. Sakuya wouldn't just abandon him and the others just because he had a girlfriend. If he even had a girlfriend in the first place... it was just a rumor, after all. He made a mental note to ask Sakuya about it later. Or maybe he should just try to text him now?  
  
"Tsu! Ba! Kyuuuuun!"  
  
Tsubaki barely managed to turn around before Berukia knocked into him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him back and forth. "What the hell, Tsubakyun! You promised you'd beat that tall brat for me! You broke your promiiiiiiise!" He paused, took one look at Tsubaki's face, and shook him again. "Heeeeeey, stop smiliiiiing! This isn't funny, Tsubakyun! You wanted to avenge meeeeeee!"  
  
Tsubaki just laughed at him, breaking free from Beru's iron grip. "I'm sorry, Beru," he said, looking at his best friend with amusement. "In my defense, I tried my best, but that boy was too good." He pouted. "And two heads taller than me, too."  
  
Beru jumped, noticing the sensitive subject that was Tsubaki's height. "D-Don't think about it, Tsubakyun!" he said hastily. "That brat may be taller, but true greatness can't be measured in height! Riiiiight, Tsubakyun?"  
  
Tsubaki laughed again. "We understand each other, Beru."  
  
"Of cooooooourse we do! You're my beeeeeest friend, bro!"  
  
"Forever and ever, bro."  
  
They exchanged their not-so-secret handshake, grinning. Beru sat next to Tsubaki on the bench, leaning down to look at him from below, then from above, then from all sides. His expression grew increasingly puzzled. "Tsubakyun?"  
  
Tsubaki looked at him, still smiling. "Yes?"  
  
"Why are you so happy? Shouldn't you be angry that you looooooost?"  
  
Tsubaki looked at him. Blinked. Then he burst out laughing.  
  
"Me? Angry?" he burst out as if that was the most absurd thought in the world. "Angry that I–" He laughed so hysterically that he had to stop talking, tears welling up in his eyes. "Angry that I lost?" He almost fell off the bench. "Oh, Beru!"  
  
At long last he calmed down, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Ahh... boring."  
  
"Tsubakyun, what's so funnyyyyyyy?" Beru looked like he wanted to grab him and shake him again. "You're in such a good moooood! Why are you so happy? Tell me, tell meeee!"  
  
Tsubaki smiled from ear to ear, and he wasn't even sure why he was still so happy about it. "Sakuya cheered me on!"  
  
"Eh? Did he send you a teeeeext?"  
  
"No." Tsubaki grinned up at him. "He cheered me on from the stands."  
  
For a long, delicious moment, Berukia was speechless.  
  
"Eh?" he burst out. " _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehh?!_ Sakuya did? Are you sure, Tsubakyun? But I thought he didn't want toooooooooo!"  
  
"But he did anyway," Tsubaki chimed, happier than ever. "I knew he cared after all! No matter what he says, Sakuya is still a nice guy, isn't he? Even if he'd probably kill me if he knew I said that..."  
  
 _Or he'd get embarrassed again,_ Tsubaki thought. Sakuya got embarrassed so easily; he would blush and make sarcastic remarks at the simplest things Tsubaki did, and almost anything he said to him. Really, he was so sensitive.  
  
He wondered what his face had looked like when he shouted that cheer. Had he looked determined? Excited? Worried, perhaps? Had he been wearing that cute blush he always sported when he did something he found embarrassing? Oh, he wished he could have seen him. Tsubaki loved seeing Sakuya's face. It was so easy to read what he was thinking, and his thoughts never failed to entertain him.  
  
Still smiling, Tsubaki reached into his bag to take out his phone. It was about high time to try talking to Sakuya again and bring clarity into everything that had been worrying him up till now.  
  
\---  
  
The finals.  
  
If anyone had told Kuro yesterday that they'd make it this far, he would have played it off as a bad joke. Even today morning he would never have believed it, and now he was here. In the finals of the tournament.  
  
And up against them were some people he'd rather not face.  
  
"Big brother!" Hyde called from the other side of the net, way too loud and grinning his stupidest grin. "Surprise! I bet you never thought you'd meet me here! But fortune, fortune, all men call thee–"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "I'm actually not that surprised. You did say we'd face off."  
  
Hyde blinked at him, put off for a second, then he huffed in annoyance. "Big brother, don't ruin the mood! I was trying to be dramatic here!"  
  
A foot flew through the air, hitting his back, and Hyde was launched into the net before he could say anything else. "Shut up, shit rat!" Licht shouted at him from behind. "You didn't even use the quote right! It's out of context–"  
  
" _That's_ what you're mad about?" Hyde laughed even as he scrambled to his feet. "Ow, ow, that totally wasn't worth kicking me for, you violent Angel-chan! It's called artistic liberty!"  
  
"It's called being stupid!"  
  
"It's called being creative, stupid Lichtan! Shakespeare would've been proud!"  
  
"Who are you calling stupid, shit rat! You're stupid!"  
  
"You're more stupid! Stupid, stupid Angel-chan!"  
  
"Out of everyone here, you're the stupidest!"  
  
Kuro sighed, watching the duo squabble over petty reason after petty reason as he stood next to Mahiru. "Ah, they're at it again. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru looked at Kuro, then at the two idiots, then back at Kuro, his expression more confused than ever. "Now they're sticking out their tongues at each other... what are they, five?" He shook his head. "How'd these guys even get so far in the first place?"  
  
Kuro frowned. Mahiru was right to wonder about that, and right now he couldn't help but do the same. Still he knew better than to underestimate them. When he got serious Hyde was a force to be reckoned with, and the same thing counted for Licht. He had no doubts that these two could easily set aside their differences and turn into a terrifying team for the sake of winning.  
  
Well, Kuro had a partner too. No, not one. Right now, he had five of them.  
  
Mahiru smiled at him as if he could read his thoughts. Kuro had to resist the urge to smile back again. This guy really was a pain. He'd end up turning Kuro into a happy-go-lucky ball of sunshine if he wasn't careful.  
  
On the other side of the net Licht and Hyde were pushed apart by their teammates just as they had started throwing the ball at each other. Blue eyes met red, and something in their expression changed. The playfulness that had still been around a moment ago was gone. Instead their gazes were gleaming with fighting spirit, determination to take the other team down together, no matter how long it took.  
  
Kuro's eyes narrowed in response. Something stirred in him. Competitiveness... fighting spirit. He wouldn't let them win that easily.  
  
What was this? Why did he care? He didn't care about competitions or winning. All he'd ever cared about was a peaceful life. And yet here he was, fired up, playing to win.  
  
Was it because he had teammates now? Was their excitement contagious?  
  
He wanted to play.  
  
He wanted to win.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, he got into his position, turning around to face his teammates with fiery determination. And realized his mistake.  
  
The girls paled, backing away. Koyuki shrank back. Ryuusei stood to hide behind Mahiru. All eyes were wide, intimidated. And Kuro remembered.  
  
He looked like a delinquent again now. This was the way he had looked to them before they had come to know him, fierce and violent, the former gang member who had been titled the Silent Demise. The way he looked right now was too reminiscent of the Kuro people knew, the Kuro from rumors and urban legends and whispered half-truths spoken behind his back.  
  
He should have known. He should have expected them to be scared. So why was he so disappointed?  
  
Why did he feel like he'd just been betrayed?  
  
"Kuro? Kuro!"  
  
Kuro blinked, slowly turning around to face Mahiru. His determination had evaporated. His body felt heavy. He didn't want to play anymore. Why did he bother? He'd only tried so hard to make his friends happy, to have fun together with them. Now that they were looking at him like a monster again, why should he try at all?  
  
Mahiru looked at him with worry in his brown eyes, and Kuro felt guilty. Mahiru had done so much for him. He had tried so hard to help him befriend the others, and Kuro had ruined it all with a simple look. Something in him insisted that he should keep trying, just for Mahiru's sake. But he didn't have the energy. His body felt too heavy to move. He was tired... so tired.  
  
Mahiru's frown deepened as if he knew what he was thinking. "Kuro...? Hey, Kuro, are you okay?"  
  
Before Kuro could figure out what to say, the referee whistled and the match began.  
  
One of their rival players, a scrawny kid Kuro had never seen before, took aim and hit the ball over the net. It flew over to Suzuhara, who hit it back up, sending it flying in Kuro's direction.  
  
Kuro didn't move.  
  
The ball rushed towards the net, dangerously close to Kuro's face. Kuro didn't move. Every part of him felt too heavy to move, like someone had replaced his limbs with cast-iron prosthetics.  
  
 _It's not like it matters anyway._  
  
Mahiru dove forward, hitting the ball up a split second before it could touch the net. Koyuki sprinted to hit it over to the other side. Hyde's teammate received the ball with grace, and suddenly the entire rival team started moving.  
  
Licht jumped up into the air, his eyes never leaving the ball. Everyone else sprinted forward in perfect sync, leaping and taking flight, ready to hit. Hyde closed his eyes as his feet left the ground. Licht threw a split-second glance at him–  
  
–and suddenly the ball hit the ground, right between Kuro and Suzuhara.  
  
The whole team blinked. Mahiru gaped at the ball in shock. Ryuusei and Koyuki threw a confused glance at each other. The girls exchanged a worried look and started apologizing.  
  
Kuro still stared at the ball in a daze, watching as it rolled towards his feet, hitting his shoe. It had been so fast, but maybe he could still have caught it. No, not maybe. He would definitely have saved that ball if he hadn't been so zoned out. If he had paid attention...  
  
Then what? The ball would still be in play? The other side wouldn't have a point? They'd be one point closer to winning?  
  
"They" who? His teammates were terrified of him again. One wrong glance, and he had ruined it all. He didn't want to play with them anymore. He wanted to get away from them, get away from these people who had just reminded him that he was still a monster, that nobody except the fearless Mahiru could possibly like him and not be afraid of him.  
  
He didn't want to play. He wanted to leave and hide in his room and never look at any of them again.  
  
A hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he almost jumped. "You okay, Kuro?" Mahiru asked urgently, stepping up to look straight into his eyes. "You seem kinda out of it... If you're not doing well then you should–"  
  
"'m fine," Kuro mumbled in the direction of the ground. "Just tired. Sorry."  
  
"Tired?" Mahiru's expression grew more and more worried. "Will you be all right?"  
  
"...can't deal."  
  
"Kuro?"  
  
"'m fine." He should really try harder. If Mahiru noticed he wasn't so fine after all, things would get really troublesome. He didn't want anyone freaking out over him, much less Mahiru.  
  
But he was so tired...  
  
 _Don't give in,_ he told himself. _At least pretend everything's normal. For Mahiru._  
  
Heaving a sigh, he picked up the ball, sending it rolling under the net, into the hands of the kid whose turn it was to serve. Hyde grinned at him, triumphant and almost smug. "Big brother, did you see that?" he cheered. "Angel-chan and I make an awesome team, don't we?"  
  
Before Kuro could be bothered to reply, Licht kicked Hyde in the back, snapping at him to pay attention because the match was still going on. A few moments later the ball was launched back into the air, flying back towards Kuro's team. Kuro kept his eyes fixed on it. _For Mahiru,_ he told himself. For Mahiru he'd try and help his teammates win.  
  
The ball rushed past him. Mahiru hit it, sending it back in Kuro's direction. Kuro got into position. The ball... why was everything so fast? His body was slow... so slow...  
  
The last thing he saw was a ball growing bigger and bigger. Then something hit his face.  
  
Kuro stumbled back, tripping into the net. His vision tilted backwards. For a second he could see the bright ceiling lights shining right above his head.  
  
Then he caught himself, hands clutching the net behind him as he regained his balance, staggering back forward. His forehead hurt where the ball had hit him, but it was nothing too bad. He'd been hit with worse, literally.  
  
Kuro looked around. He had no idea where the ball had gone. The referee's whistle told him it must have hit the ground or gone out, but he couldn't see it at all. The only thing he could see was the worried faces of his teammates. All five of them.  
  
Mahiru was the first to run to his side, grabbing his shoulder to spin him around. "Kuro, are you okay? That looked like it really hurt!"  
  
Kuro looked at him, puzzled. His forehead still hurt a little, but it was fine. It probably wouldn't even form a bruise later.  
  
"I'm all right," he answered, looking right into Mahiru's over-protectively worried brown eyes, feeling a glint of amusement spark among all the exhaustion. "You're such a worrywart, Mahiru."  
  
"Who are you calling a worrywart! You just got hit in the face with a volleyball! Of course I'm worried!"  
  
"Yeah... that did look painful."  
  
Kuro glanced up. The remark hadn't come from Mahiru. It was Koyuki who had said it, coming to stand beside him, frowning with worry. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"Uh..." Kuro blinked at him, dumbfounded. Why was Koyuki talking to him? Why was he expressing worry? Hadn't Kuro just scared everyone off with his look of determination? "I'm... fine..."  
  
"You better be, 'cause we don't want you passing out on us, dude!" Ryuusei stepped up to join them. "What happened? You suddenly got all out of it when the match started!"  
  
Ryuusei too? But... why...?  
  
"Y-Yes, um..." Suzuhara fumbled as she spoke, evading Kuro's eyes as if she was still nervous to talk to him. "If... If you're not doing well you should tell us! We don't want you to force yourself, you know?"  
  
Her friend nodded energetically. "Exactly!"  
  
Kuro stared from one to the other without understanding what was going on. What was happening? Shouldn't they be scared? Why were they worried about him? Why were they even _talking_ to him? What was with everyone?  
  
Why did his heart suddenly feel so light?  
  
They were still talking to him. They weren't scared of him. He had looked like his delinquent self, the very same person they had been afraid of for years, and they were still talking to him and worrying about his well-being. He hadn't lost them. They were still his friends.  
  
He was still playing... with his friends.  
  
The heaviness in his body disappeared. The exhaustion faded. Little by little his motivation came back. Motivation to keep playing with these incredible people. Motivation to win. With them. For them.  
  
"Everyone, uh..." This was so strange. He wasn't used to addressing groups of people. And he especially wasn't used to saying what he was about to say next. "I'm fine. But..."  
  
His face flushed. His voice dropped down to a mumble, quiet and soft and barely intelligible. "...thanks."  
  
For a long awkward moment all eyes rested on him. Kuro pulled up his shoulders and hung his head, wishing he could hide in his hoodie. Then a hand ruffled through his hair, and he looked up to see Mahiru grinning at him, wide and bright and relieved. "So you're feeling better now, right? Then let's go! We still have a match to win!"  
  
And the game continued. They all returned to their positions with a new vigor. Kuro felt revived. Mahiru was right, this match still wasn't over. And neither was his friendship with the others.  
  
The next ball was sent over the net, and this time Kuro was prepared. Suzuhara hit it up at the perfect angle. He jumped to meet it, taking aim and tossing it up in the air. It flew up, spinning, and Koyuki sent it over the net with a slam.  
  
Just one point behind now. This match was only getting started.  
  
The match went on at high speed. Just when Kuro's team caught up, Hyde's team scored again. They were neck and neck. Hyde and Licht were good, incredibly good. Kuro probably couldn't do what they did. Nobody could stop their freak attacks when they worked together. They were too fast, too unpredictable. Unstoppable. But that didn't mean Kuro couldn't find other ways to keep up with them.  
  
He was completely immersed in the match. His whole mind and being focused on the ball, on the match, acting completely on reflex and instinct, saving impossible balls, reading through the smallest openings. He didn't think at all. It just happened.  
  
And he wasn't tired at all.  
  
The match went on. For some reason it was moving both in slow motion and time lapse, incredibly fast yet in minute detail. They were neck and neck. Neither team could break away. And then, finally, they were tied. One point away from winning.  
  
One point away from the end of the match... one point away from being champions of the tournament.  
  
And it was their team's turn to serve.  
  
Kuro took one look into Hyde's eyes and knew he was the one who'd spike the ball. And he knew they had no chance to stop that one.  
  
Were they about to lose?  
  
Behind him he could hear his teammates whispering and knew they were thinking the same. They couldn't possibly hope to stop Licht and Hyde's freak attack if they'd never managed to do it before. They might as well accept being in second place. It was good enough, and they'd had fun.  
  
But he didn't want to accept it!  
  
From the corner of his eye he could see the ball darting over the net, flying over to the other side in a perfect curve. Kuro fixed his eyes on it. The whole court was moving in slow motion, in perfect sync like perfectly coordinated parts of a body.  
  
The ball was hit back, flying towards Licht. Kuro locked his eyes on Hyde. Where would he hit it? Right? Left?  
  
Licht tossed the ball. It touched Hyde's hand. And suddenly Kuro knew where it would go.  
  
He leaped into the air, reached up his arms and slammed the ball down.  
  
Silence.  
  
The ball bounced and rolled over the ground. Kuro met Hyde's gaze in midair, saw the surprise and shock and something else, something he hadn't expected to see. Was it... acknowledgement?  
  
They landed back on the floor with a thud. The referee whistled. Kuro turned around.  
  
And suddenly the whole team, all five of them, stormed up to him and tackled him with a hug.  
  
They had won. They had really won.  
  
Together.


	28. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a promise, right?"

They had won.  
  
Kuro stumbled back, knocked off balance by his teammates, falling to the ground with them all landing on top of him. He couldn't breathe. Their weight was pressing the air out of his lungs. But most of all he was stunned breathless. Was this really happening? Was an entire group of people really... _hugging_ him?  
  
His friends... piled up on top of him... hugging him...  
  
He must be dreaming. This couldn't be real. People couldn't possibly like him that much. He didn't deserve it... all that trust, all that joy, all that love thrown at him.  
  
He looked at them. He looked at Ryuusei and Koyuki, who were grinning and laughing him right in the face, their heads resting right on top of his chest. He looked at the girls, wrapping their arms around everyone as well as they could, returning his surprised gaze with bright smiles, happy and friendly and not afraid at all.  
  
And he looked at Mahiru. Mahiru, who was beaming at him with pride. Mahiru, who had wrapped both his arms around him, pulling him closer even as they all lay in a tangled pile, laughing and smiling and hugging each other. Mahiru, who was looking at him with tears of joy in his eyes. Kuro didn't need to hear his voice to understand the message written all over his face. _I'm so proud of you, Kuro._  
  
Truthfully, Kuro wanted to cry himself. He was so happy. What had he done to deserve being so happy? What had he done to deserve feeling so ridiculously, overwhelmingly loved?  
  
Closing his eyes, he brought up his arms, trying to wrap them around all five of his teammates, pulling them in. He had never expected to like being touched by so many people. He had never known how good receiving affection could feel. And he had never expected to ever give affection back.  
  
The others were heavy. He still couldn't breathe. Falling down on his back had been painful. But it felt so good.  
  
Kuro looked at his friends. He looked at all of them, resting on top of him, smiling with sparkling victory cheer. And just for a split second something crossed his face. Something he had never wanted anyone to see, something he had always been too self-conscious to show people. Something that he couldn't stop as he lay there, overwhelmed by his friends and his own happiness.  
  
It was only for a short moment, and it was so small it was barely noticeable. But just for the tiniest fragment of a second, Kuro smiled back.  
  
\---  
  
Licht hadn't stopped looking sulky ever since the end of the tournament. He had very grumpily congratulated the winners, and he hadn't spoken a word since, changing out of his gym clothes and back into his school uniform in perfect silence. None of their teammates had said anything to him. They all knew how angry he could get when he lost, and none of them wanted to stir the pot of annoyance and accidentally make it boil over.  
  
Hyde had avoided his eyes. He couldn't help feeling a little guilty over Licht's anger; it was him who had failed to get the last point after all. Licht had tossed to him expecting him to hammer it home, and Hyde had been stopped. Sure, it wasn't entirely his fault. Nobody could have expected Kuro to suddenly develop an ability to block his spites, especially not at the last minute. But still... if he had done it differently, could they have won?  
  
If he had done it differently, would Licht be smiling now? Would he wear that proud and happy expression that made Hyde's stomach flutter and his heart skip a beat?  
  
Hyde's eyes rested on Licht's pout, and despite his disappointment and slight guilt he couldn't help cracking a grin. Licht's pouty expression was cute, actually. Even if it made him want to tease him.  
  
He struck Licht's signature angel pose, imitating his voice. "As long as I'm here, you're invincible!" He grinned. "Was it, Angel-chan?"  
  
Licht sent a kick flying towards him and missed his target by a hair's breadth. "Shut up, shit rat! Even angels need to let others win sometimes! It just shows my angelic kindness!"  
  
"Your what now?" Hyde burst out laughing. "You're sulking, Angel-chan! You're totally a sore loser!"  
  
"I'm not sulking! I'm just tired," Licht snapped and went back to sulking.  
  
Hyde laughed at him again. This guy was such a kid. He had world views like an adult, and he could make incredible motivational speeches on the fly, but deep down he was still a child who couldn't sleep without his stuffed animals and sulked over losing a match. Perhaps Hyde should get him some melon somewhere. Or find the nearest neighborhood cat to cheer him up.  
  
"Lichtan!"  
  
Licht didn't answer. He was still pouting to himself, arms crossed, staring out through the window and watching a cloud that vaguely resembled a rabbit.  
  
"Lich-taaaan!"  
  
Licht glared at the hand Hyde was waving in front of his face, then at Hyde himself. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry I got blocked."  
  
Licht stared at Hyde. Hyde stared back at Licht. Had he really just said that? He had meant to say something else... but it had slipped out anyway. He hadn't meant to apologize or bring up the subject at all. What was the matter?  
  
Licht continued staring at him. Hyde fidgeted under his gaze, uncomfortable and strangely exposed. "Ah, uh..." he stammered, grinning awkwardly, "that was..."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Hyde blinked, taken aback. "...huh?"  
  
"I said shut up!" Licht threw a punch at his face but missed, and Hyde could feel something strange in his chest. Licht wasn't kicking him like he usually did. He wasn't even seriously trying to punch him. His eyes strayed away from Hyde's gaze, and his hand hung in the air between them like a string of unsaid words. "Don't regret it, shit rat! Do you think I'm blaming you or something?"  
  
Hyde looked at him, then he glanced down, confused. Was that it? Did he think Licht was blaming him? Was that why he had apologized? Or was he simply blaming himself?  
  
"I..." His voice trailed off. "Angel-chan, I think... I don't know!" He gave a frustrated sigh. When he spoke again his voice was soft and hesitant, almost as if he was dreading the answer. "Are you?"  
  
"No." Licht's reply came back at him like a gunshot, quick and without hesitation. "Why should I?"  
  
"Because we lost!" Hyde shot back, the frustration finally bursting out of him. "We lost because of me! And you hate losing, don't you, Angel-chan? So why aren't you mad at me?"  
  
Licht was silent for a moment. He looked down at the ground, his hair falling into his face and hiding his eyes. Hyde swallowed. _Now he really is mad at you,_ he thought with a shudder. _Dummy, what did you do?_  
  
"Hyde."  
  
He jolted, straightening as he braced himself. "Yes?"  
  
"Don't be stupid!" Licht grabbed his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes. "You're already stupid enough, don't be stupider than usual! Of course I hate losing, but it was only one match! And you know what you did wrong! So you'll do it better next time, right?"  
  
Hyde blinked, taken aback. "I..."  
  
"We still have next year! That's when we'll win for sure!" Licht's grip on Hyde's shoulders tightened. "Next year, let's work even harder and win the tournament together!"  
  
There was a moment's silence.  
  
"Uh, Lichtan..." Hyde grinned awkwardly. "You do know there's no guarantee that we'll be in the same class again next year, right?"  
  
Licht blinked in a way that made it all too obvious he hadn't thought of that.  
  
"...shut up."  
  
Hyde cracked up laughing, the last bits of worry and gloominess and guilt falling from his soul and disappearing into oblivion. Licht wasn't mad at him. And he had essentially just promised to team up with him again next year, even after violently protesting against it just a few weeks ago. They really were a team now.  
  
 _And you cheered me up again, didn't you, Angel-chan?_ Hyde gave Licht a crooked smile. _You always do. Back when we were captured, on the first day of practice, today... what's it with you always knowing exactly what to say?_  
  
And he had never cheered Licht up. He had never repaid his friend for all he did for him, the courage he had given him, the confidence. He wanted to. He wanted to help Licht and support him and encourage him and protect him from all his heart. But how could he do all that for someone who didn't need protecting? Would he always be stuck being able to do nothing for him?  
  
Maybe it was enough if he just stayed by his side for now. Maybe then the opportunity would open itself to do something for him eventually if he waited and kept his eyes open. Even Licht couldn't always be strong and independent. He had to have some weaknesses too, some moments when he needed protecting.  
  
He smiled. _I'll be staying with you then, Lichtan,_ he thought. _I hope you don't mind._  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya threw a glance at his phone and grimaced. During the time he'd been busy cheering on the volleyball team and celebrating their victory, his phone had blown up with a zillion texts, and Sakuya didn't have to look at his notifications to know they were all from the same annoying person.  
  
Oh well, he wasn't surprised. After cheering Tsubaki on like that, he would have been seriously amazed not to get anything; one could say he'd had it coming. And besides, it wasn't like he was all that unhappy to hear from Tsubaki again. It was a breath of fresh air, a touch of familiarity. He'd missed this. He'd missed Tsubaki blowing up his phone and nagging him at the weirdest of times.  
  
Smiling to himself, he walked away from the others, careful to shield the screen from any prying eyes. When he was far enough away he unlocked his phone and tapped the first message, watching as a whole thread opened itself in front of him.  
  
 _Hey, Sakuya~  
  
Was that really you cheering me on from the stands? :D  
  
It was you, right? I know your voice when I hear it ;)  
  
Sakuya, thank you so much! We lost but I'm still really happy! (≡^∇^≡)  
  
By the way, Sakuya? Can I talk to you about something?  
  
Sa~ku~yaaaaaaaa~  
  
I'd like to ask you something..._  
  
Sakuya looked at the screen and saw that Tsubaki was typing again. Quickly, before his friend could complete his next message, he typed in a reply and hit Send as fast as he could. _im free rn. lets talk abt it in person Tsubaki-san_  
  
Tsubaki stopped typing for a second. Then he started again, and a moment later another message popped up on Sakuya's screen, bright and chipper. _Really? That's good! Where should we meet, hmm..._  
  
 _Where are you, Sakuya? ｡◕‿◕｡_  
  
Sakuya held his phone away from his face, shuddering at the dead-eyed emoji. _please dont use that face again Tsubaki-san its giving me nightmares. im behind the gym btw_  
  
Tsubaki's reply was immediate. _Be right there!_  
  
Sakuya wanted to reply and tell him that this was a very bad idea and he should stay the hell away, but just as he started to type there was a familiar voice calling his name from the bushes. "Sakuya! Psst, Sakuya!"  
  
He looked right and left, trying to determine where the voice had come from. All he could see were perfectly ordinary plants, none of them looking like they had an idiot high school student hidden behind them. "Tsu...baki...san...?"  
  
One of the plants moved suspiciously, and a second later a head of black hair emerged from it, twigs and leaves stuck into it in a bizarre attempt at camouflage. "Over here, Sakuya!"  
  
Sakuya turned on his heel and started walking away.  
  
His phone lit up with a message in a second. _SAKUYAAAA! Don't just walk away! After I went through all that trouble of disguising myself so your friends wouldn't spot you talking to me QAQ_  
  
Sakuya grimaced, turning around to look back at Tsubaki, who was still sitting behind the bush giving him the puppy-dog eyes, stupid twigs still all over his hair. _they cant see me talking to a bush either,_ he texted back. _theyre gonna think im crazy._  
  
Tsubaki texted him back a mere few seconds later. _Then join me!_ he wrote. _With your hair you don't even need to disguise yourself, you'll blend right in ;)_  
  
Sakuya twirled a curl of his hair around his finger. He was seriously evoking going back just to strangle him.  
  
Turning around again, he took a few steps towards the conspicuous bush, putting on his most murderous glare. "Tsu-ba-ki-saaaan..."  
  
Tsubaki disappeared behind the plant in a heartbeat. "I'm so sorry!" the bush said. "It was only a joke! Sakuya, you're scary..."  
  
There was another rustle, and then Tsubaki fully emerged from the bush, plucking leaves out of his hair and clothes, looking right and left as he stepped out into the open. Sakuya backed away and turned, pretending they had nothing to do with each other. His eyes scanned the surroundings. There were few people nearby, and none of them looked too familiar, but he couldn't be too careful. His classmates could go looking for him and show up around the corner anytime.  
  
"Let's talk somewhere else," he said quietly, not looking at Tsubaki. "Somewhere people won't find me right away."  
  
Tsubaki nodded and motioned in the direction of the school roof. They both started walking towards it, taking different paths and not looking at each other, pretending they were only going into the same direction by pure coincidence. It was just routine to them by now; they had done this a thousand times over, and they both knew the strategy well enough to not have to discuss it again.  
  
Still, as Sakuya hurried up the stairs towards the forbidden roof he couldn't help feeling a little strange. Tsubaki was his friend. He owed him his life. Sure, he was also embarrassing and an infamous troublemaker, and revealing that he was friends with him might get him in trouble too. But did he really have to act like this was all such a big secret? Even if he admitted they were friends, it wasn't like that meant he was part of the gang. Mahiru kept hanging around that former Servamp and nobody suspected him of being a gang member. Maybe if he told the others he and Tsubaki were just friends...  
  
But he was afraid. What if they didn't believe him when he told them he was just Tsubaki's friend? What if they figured out that he was part of the gang, one of the troublemakers plotting revenge? Tsubaki's reputation was even worse than Kuro's. He only wasn't an outcast because he'd already had friends by the time he came here.  
  
What would his classmates say? What would Ryuusei and Koyuki say? What would Mahiru say?  
  
But this masquerade...  
  
What should he do?  
  
Sighing, he opened the door to the roof and stepped outside. It was empty except for Tsubaki, who was leaning on the railing across from him, stepping up to meet him halfway. "Can we speak now, Sakuya?"  
  
"Yeah." Sakuya let his gaze roam over the school grounds. "What is it you wanted to ask me about, Tsubaki-san?"  
  
"Is it true that you have a girlfriend?"  
  
Sakuya choked on nothing.  
  
"W-What the–?!" he spluttered, paling and blushing in rapid succession. "Wha– Who told you that?"  
  
Tsubaki gave a quick laugh. "There is a rumor going around the school that you have one. Is it true, Sakuya? Why didn't you tell us?" He gave him the puppy-dog eyes. "I thought you were telling us everything..."  
  
"A rumor?" Sakuya stared at him in complete incomprehension. What rumor? Who had started that? How had they even come up with the– _oh._  
  
A memory came back to him, a tiny little thing he had half forgotten about. Oh right, the texting during cheer squad practice, the prying questions, the white lie he had told them to cover up. So his classmates hadn't kept quiet about it. Of course they hadn't. He was glad he hadn't decided to tell them the truth, now more than ever.  
  
"I don't have a girlfriend, Tsubaki-san," he said calmly, ignoring the annoyance at his gossipy classmates for now. "One time you were texting me while I was rehearsing with the cheer squad, and they started asking me who I was texting so I told them I had a secret girlfriend. That's all."  
  
Tsubaki looked up at him with wide shiny eyes, even as Sakuya himself realized his mistake. But it was too late.  
  
"So," Tsubaki said, blushing and beaming from ear to ear, "you practically told them that I was your secret girlfriend?"  
  
Sakuya's face exploded with heat. "N-No!" he stuttered, blushing redder than a cherry. "That's not it! Why are you so happy about this, anyway?"  
  
Now it was Tsubaki's turn to blush bright red. He fumbled and stuttered, then he burst out laughing, laughing much harder than he usually did, louder and much more hysterically than he should. He laughed and laughed until he was out of breath and there were tears in his eyes, laughed until he couldn't stand anymore and sat down on the ground. Then, at last, he calmed down, taking a deep breath and sighing. "Ah... boring."  
  
Sakuya stared at him. He still wasn't sure what to think of this reaction. Had his words really been that funny? But this wasn't normal laughter anymore, even by Tsubaki's standards. This was off-putting. And he knew Tsubaki well enough to know it was probably fake.  
  
Was he trying to cover up some other emotion? That wasn't like Tsubaki at all!  
  
Was he perhaps as flustered as Sakuya was? But why should he be? He hadn't said anything all that embarrassing, had he?  
  
"Tsubaki...san?" He frowned. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing!" There it was again, that chipper, overly happy smile. "I'm glad, Sakuya! If you had been keeping secrets from us, that would have been rather sad, would it?"  
  
Sakuya shrugged. He looked at that bright, beaming smile, feeling a stab of guilt shoot through him. Tsubaki really did trust him unconditionally. He believed in all his friends completely, loved them with his heart and soul, and Sakuya was still keeping him at bay and hiding their friendship. Tsubaki didn't deserve it. He really didn't deserve it.  
  
"I... I'd never keep secrets from you, Tsubaki-san." His face heated up again. "If I had a girlfriend... I would already have told you."  
  
Tsubaki smiled at him, and Sakuya made a mental vow to never, ever betray his trust and friendship.  
  
\---  
  
Shuuhei leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and sighed. The concrete wall was soothingly cool against his skin, relaxing after a long and stressful day of playing referee for three different matches and arguing with a team that hadn't acknowledged the foul he had given. Well, at least their goalkeeper had been nice and polite. Arguing with third-years really was something else.  
  
Now he really didn't want to see or hear anyone anymore though. He wanted his peace, and then he wanted to forget about all this madness and go back to his calm, peaceful everyday life without any sports festival nonsense. Everyday life was stressful enough.  
  
"Found you!"  
  
Shuuhei opened an eye. He didn't want to talk to anyone, but he recognized the voice. And he knew exactly that the owner of the voice would never leave him alone if he just ignored her. Not that he really wanted to, anyway.  
  
"Tinker," he said with a small sigh, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was looking for you, Loki-senpai! What are you doing out here? Everyone else is having fun!" She pouted at him, walking over to lean against the wall next to him. "And you're here all alone... Aren't you lonely?"  
  
Shuuhei shrugged, ignoring how close she was standing, ignoring the heat radiating from her body made his heart skip beats and his skin prickle. "Not really. I don't mind being by myself."  
  
"But I'm lonely," she replied, looking up at him with wide blue eyes. "Everyone is having fun, but it's not fun without you, Loki-senpai!"  
  
Shuuhei adjusted his glasses even though they weren't slipping off his nose at all. His face heated up. Damn it, she was so _cute_. He shouldn't think that way; he hated it when people got clingy, or when they told him such things and went to seek him out, but for some reason he didn't mind Tinker getting a little clingy. In fact, he was happy to see her. Happy that she had found him, happy to have her standing next to him, so close that he only needed to shift slightly to touch her.  
  
What was this feeling? Was there a name for it? How did he feel towards this cheerful, strange, adorable girl?  
  
"You're exaggerating," he said quietly, avoiding her eyes. "I'm not a fun person."  
  
"That's not true!" she burst out. "I always have a lot of fun when I'm spending time with you! And I want to spend a lot more fun times with you, Loki-senpai! You're nice and you're smart and you act cool but you're actually really cute and I think you're super fun! So stop deprecating yourself!"  
  
Shuuhei looked at her, wide-eyed. "Me... cute?"  
  
Tinker blinked, then she blushed furiously, flailing her hands around in the air. "I-I-I mean," she stuttered, "the cool kind of cute! Not the weird kind! It's just, you're always prepared for everything no matter how weird it is and you act cold but you're actually a really nice person and you're kind of awkward and always adjust your glasses when you get flustered and you have such pretty eyes and that's all really cute to me! You should smile sometime, then you'd be even cuter, I mean, not that you need to, but I want to see your smile! Ah," she covered her mouth with her hands, "what am I saying? I'm sorry!"  
  
Shuuhei fiddled with his glasses, blushing as brightly as she did. So this was how Tinker felt about him? It felt so strange. Strange, but not bad. He wasn't used to it... but he wouldn't mind being, sometime.  
  
"I... don't mind," he said quietly, not looking at her. "You saying all these things, that is."  
  
"You... you don't?" A warm hand reached for Shuuhei's own, small and gentle and unbearably soft. "Then... Loki-senpai, I have something to say to you." She took a deep breath. "I... Do you... Ah, this is hard!" She puffed her cheeks and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "I think I like you, Loki-senpai! As in, a lot! So..." Her voice went quiet, hesitant. "Do you... do you mind if I fall in love with you? If I did... would I stand a chance?"  
  
Shuuhei's heart stumbled and skipped a beat.  
  
He breathed in and out, but there was no air to fill his lungs. His head was spinning. He didn't know what to think, or how to feel.  
  
 _Love._  
  
Tinker was telling him she might fall in love with him. _Him._ That was ridiculous. She was too good for him. She was leagues too good for him, and he was afraid. Of what, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was panicking, shaking, freaking out.  
  
"I..."  
  
What should he do?  
  
"Tinker..."  
  
 _What should he do?_  
  
"I... Are..." He adjusted his glasses. His hands were trembling. "Are you sure?"  
  
Tinker looked down at her feet, fiddling with the hem of her skirt and nodded. "I am."  
  
"But I... Then... I..." He swallowed hard. What was he trying to say? How did he feel? What did he want? He didn't understand one single thing. "I... don't think you stand no chance," he said stiffly, avoiding her gaze like that was even necessary, with her still looking down at the ground and blushing. "I just... need time. I'm not prepared for all this. So..."  
  
"I'll wait for you!"  
  
He turned. Tinker was looking at him, wide-eyed and blushing, her face alight with hope and determination. "I'll wait until you're ready, Loki-senpai! I'll wait forever and ever! So whenever you think you're ready to fall in love, I'll be here."  
  
She was too good for him. Far too good.  
  
"A-All right," he stuttered, confused and happy and relieved and so, so grateful that it was her, that he was losing his heart to her and no one else. "Thank you, Tinker."  
  
She smiled. "You're welcome! Here." She extended her little finger towards him. "It's a promise, right?"  
  
Shuuhei hooked his little finger with hers, fighting with the desire to take her whole hand and lace their fingers together and pull her in, ready or not. "Of course."  
  
Tinker beamed. Letting go of his pinky, she stepped close, ruffling a hand through his hair and getting up on her tip-toes to bump their foreheads together. For a long moment they both looked into each other's eyes, Tinker still smiling from ear to ear, Shuuhei slowly mustering a nervous smile too. Still feeling shaky, he brought up his hands and rested them on her sides, carefully, as if she was something very fragile that he was afraid of breaking. Her smile widened, and his heart skipped a beat. This girl... He wanted to kiss her. He wasn't ready for it yet, wasn't ready for romance or a relationship, but he wanted to kiss her. Right here and now.  
  
He jolted back. What was going on in his mind? He couldn't just kiss her! No matter if he wanted to... no matter if _she_ wanted to. They weren't a couple, and they were still out in the open. Anyone could walk by and see them at any moment.  
  
 _Soon,_ he told himself as he reluctantly let go, and he knew she thought the same. They still had all the time in the world. They had promised, after all.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro, I'm so proud of you!"  
  
Kuro looked down at Mahiru's big, happy beaming smile, a second before he found his hands grabbed and squeezed with affection. His friend had been smiling all day since the final match, and now that smile had grown even brighter, shining and sparkling and spilling over and making even the setting sun look dim. Kuro blushed a little. He didn't really understand why Mahiru made such a big deal out of this; he hadn't really done that much.  
  
"What a pain," he mumbled, averting his eyes. "Don't blow this out of proportion. I just did what I had to."  
  
"Don't be stupid!" Mahiru punched him in the ribs, his proud beam turning into an expression of rightful anger. "You were incredible! Remember when you were so afraid of playing with the others that you couldn't sleep? And you tried anyway! You were so awkward at first but you really worked hard and showed them your nice side and got them to trust you! Even though you were so scared of facing them! You tried so hard, Kuro, you can't even begin to tell me that's not amazing!"  
  
Kuro looked down. He still didn't understand. He really hadn't done much except being his socially awkward self and trying to play together with his teammates somehow without screwing up or scaring them off. What was so amazing about that?  
  
"I... wasn't amazing," he said slowly. "You were. If you hadn't talked me into trying this, I wouldn't have done a thing. If you hadn't encouraged and supported me... I would've quit. I didn't do anything. It was all you, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru was quiet for a long moment.  
  
"That," he said at last, "is the biggest garbage I've ever heard you say."  
  
Kuro blinked, a second before Mahiru grabbed him and knocked their foreheads together.  
  
"Ow," he whined, rubbing his forehead and giving Mahiru a pained look. "Don't hit your poor friend without warning, what a pain... what was that for?"  
  
"Don't be an idiot!" Mahiru burst out. "Quit stripping yourself from all the glory! _You_ did it! Not me! You're the one who worked up the courage to talk to Ryuusei and Koyuki! You're the one who tried to act nice! You're the one who offered us your potato chips and teamed up with the guys to get me to skip class and saved Koyuki's cookies and bonded over pineapple pizza with Ryuusei and helped Koyuki get the prints and... you're the one who showed everyone what a great guy you are! So be proud, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro blushed and fumbled. "I..."  
  
"It was you, trust me." Mahiru smiled warmly. "They never believed me you were a good guy until they got to know you. It was you. All I did was give you a little push when you needed it."  
  
 _You're wrong,_ Kuro thought. _I only did it all for you. Because you kept pushing me and supporting me... because you believed in me, Mahiru. I would never have come this far if you hadn't been around._  
  
"Mahiru... thank you."  
  
Mahiru grinned. "Anytime, Kuro."  
  
Kuro looked down at his feet, almost smiling. He still couldn't believe he had come so far, that he had actually managed to get people to like him, people who had always been afraid of him to boot. His teammates... had talked to him normally. They had hugged him. Just out of victory joy, sure, but they had hugged him. Like one would hug a friend. Maybe it was a one-time thing, and maybe they wouldn't talk much now that the tournament was over, but at least they weren't scared of him anymore. He wasn't unwelcome. He... felt safe around them. For the first time since forever, they had made him feel like being part of a group, a group where he belonged.  
  
And it was all because he had met Mahiru. Mahiru, who had refused to believe the rumors and be afraid of him. Mahiru, who had seen something in him that he hadn't, refusing to stop believing in it no matter what. Mahiru, who had never given up hope that others might like him too, who had defended him and tried to integrate him in groups and pushed him to socialize. Mahiru, who had tried so hard and finally succeeded. Fearless, stubborn, kind-hearted Mahiru.  
  
He would have been so lost without him.  
  
Kuro didn't know why, but he wanted to hug him. Do the same thing the team had done to him and tackle his friend and knock him over, or just pull him into his arms and lift him up and hold him close, he didn't know. Physical affection wasn't even really his thing. But he was starved for it, so starved, and he was still so grateful and stunned and overwhelmingly happy that he almost couldn't help himself.  
  
"So that's where you guys are!"  
  
They turned around to find Ryuusei running up to them, Koyuki in tow, coming to stand right next to them and catching his breath. "Dude, I've been running over the whole campus!" he burst out. "Where have you been? C'mon, it's almost time for the awards ceremony!"  
  
"What, it's that late already?" Mahiru glanced at his watch and jumped. "Ah, shoot, it really is! Let's hurry up, guys, we're gonna be late!"  
  
They sprinted over the school grounds, hurrying to the gym. Kuro, Mahiru and Ryuusei sped along like flashes. Koyuki struggled to keep up with them, stumbling behind them out of breath, the distance behind them growing. Kuro glanced over his shoulder with compassion. He, Ryuusei and Mahiru had always been athletic, but Koyuki was only average. There was no way he could keep up much longer.  
  
Sighing, Kuro slowed down, running back to Koyuki, taking his arm and pulling him along. "What a pain," he mumbled. "Get us earlier so we don't have to run."  
  
"Sorry!" Koyuki stammered behind him, picking up his pace as they both ran after Mahiru and Ryuusei. "But... thank you!"  
  
Kuro just sighed again and chased after the other two. They got into the gym just in time, the lights going out at the very moment they slipped in through the door. It had been changed up since the matches earlier; now it was full of chairs, and the stage had been opened up on one side, spotlights pointing at the figure facing the audience, holding a microphone in his hand.  
  
"If we may start now," Mikuni declared, wearing his best stage smile. "Let's begin with the sports festival awards ceremony!"  
  
The obligatory applause filled the hall. Kuro swallowed. _So many people,_ he realized. He just hoped he wouldn't have to go up on that stage in front of them all. He didn't want all those eyes resting on him, afraid and hostile, glaring holes into him while he could do nothing but wait to get back down. Ever since the Servamps had split he had avoided attention, avoided crowds and large groups of people, tried to hide from people's fearful, judging gazes as much as he could. Less troublesome that way. But he couldn't do it now. If the teams were supposed to go on stage...  
  
 _Calm down,_ he thought. He didn't even know if the teams had to go up there at all.  
  
On the stage Mikuni went on with his speech. Kuro didn't listen. He stayed close to Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki, trying to make himself as small as possible. Thank goodness it was dark, at least. Nobody was paying any attention to them at all.  
  
Mikuni rambled on. Then suddenly there was applause, and a team of five people came up on the stage. Kuro recognized Tetsu sticking out of the group and swallowed. So their team would have to go up there too. In front of everyone.  
  
He wanted to go home. He so wanted to go home.  
  
Kuro watched numbly as the first-years received their medals and coupons and walked off the stage to be greeted enthusiastically by their classmates. Mikuni went on. Kuro didn't listen. He didn't want to hear what he had to say. He didn't want to think about going up there, having people's fearful eyes on him. Even if Mahiru was with him. Even if all his friends were with him, he didn't want to face it.  
  
"Kuro? Kuro!"  
  
Kuro blinked, snapping back to attention. "Yeah?"  
  
Mahiru yanked on his sleeve. "Come on, we're being called up! We have to go on stage and get our prizes and medals!"  
  
No. No, no, no.  
  
"You guys go," Kuro said as casually as possible. "I'm staying down here and cheering you on from below."  
  
"Don't gimme that!" Mahiru threw a punch at his ribs, pulling at his sleeve again. "You're part of the team too! You're going up there with us!"  
  
"No... what a pain..."  
  
Ryuusei stopped walking, turning back from where he was a few steps ahead. "Guys, what's wrong?"  
  
Kuro looked down, embarrassed to be gathering so much attention. "Go without me," he said quietly. "I can't deal with that many eyes on me."  
  
Koyuki frowned compassionately. "Stage fright?"  
  
"No..." Kuro fidgeted, unsure what to say. He felt tempted to tell them the real reason. He really did. It was better than lying to them or giving in and going on stage with them. "I... It's just... the whole school's still scared of me and going up there and feeling all their glares is such a pain."  
  
Their expressions shifted to understanding, then to gentle compassion. Kuro turned away. He already regretted telling them, but now it was too late.  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru said quietly. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"  
  
Kuro didn't look at him. "...can't deal."  
  
"Yes, you should have said something!" Koyuki's hand came to rest on his shoulder, warm and reassuring. "We would have encouraged you, you know?"  
  
Kuro wanted to hide. He wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground and never get out until the others had all graduated. Why had he told them about his fears? He should have just swallowed them and gone up on the stage with the others. It would have been less awkward than... this.  
  
"Class 2-B," Mikuni called from the stage. "Class 2-B, where are you?"  
  
"C'mon, we're getting called!" Ryuusei grabbed Kuro's arm, pulling him along. "Don't worry, man," he said with a grin. "You're not going up there alone! Right, guys?"  
  
Koyuki nodded enthusiastically. "Right! We're with you!"  
  
"And if anybody looks at you weird I'm kicking them out." Ryuusei planted his free hand on his hip. "Literally!"  
  
Kuro almost laughed. His chest felt a little lighter already, almost as if the others' words were helping him carry the weight he had tried to drag by himself. Ryuusei pulled him ahead by the arm. Mahiru and Koyuki pushed him from behind, their hands resting on his back in a gesture of gentle reassurance. Kuro straightened and picked up his pace. He could... do this. He could face the stares. At least for a little. And if he couldn't, he could always hide behind his friends.  
  
They lined up on the stage, side by side. Kuro stood between Ryuusei and Mahiru, keeping his eyes down. He could feel the stares on him. He didn't have to look into the crowd to know they were staring. But Ryuusei was still holding his forearm, and Mahiru had wrapped his arm around his shoulders, both of them meeting the stares with a challenging look, daring anybody to say anything.  
  
It was okay. Just for a little while, the stares didn't hurt him.  
  
"Excellent," Mikuni declared into the microphone, giving them all a pointed glance. "Now that we have the whole team assembled, it's time to give you your medals!" He turned to the crowd. "I think this calls for a round of applause!"  
  
Jun walked along the row of them, hanging a medal around each one of their necks and handing them their prizes. The medals were just made of paper and some gold paint, but to Kuro they looked and felt very much real. He didn't feel like he had only won a high school tournament for fun. He felt like he had won the Olympics, going over his limits over and over to finally stand here, together with everyone. The real battle hadn't been the matches, he realized. The real battle had been with himself, his eternal fear of people and social interaction. And he had fought it... and he had won.  
  
They looked at each other with shining eyes. None of them heard the claps and cheers of their classmates in the crowd, and none of them even noticed the shouts of "Next time I'll win, big brother!" from Hyde. Kuro completely forgot about the crowd. Those people didn't matter. His friends were up here.  
  
"And now," Mikuni said, motioning to Tinker half disappearing behind a camera, "a picture of this winning team, too! Everyone smile, please!"  
  
They crowded together. Mahiru leaned on Kuro's shoulder. Ryuusei held bunny ears over his head. Everyone around him posed and smiled, and Kuro didn't know what to do. He just looked at his friends and then at the camera, amazement and pure happiness shining brightly in his eyes.  
  
The camera flashed. And Kuro instantly knew that he would treasure this picture forever.  
  
\---  
  
"Geez! I can't believe you won, big brother!"  
  
Kuro turned around to find Hyde standing a few feet away, pouting in the way only he could pout. "It's not fair! But next year Lichtan and I will definitely take first place, got that?"  
  
Kuro sighed, tucking his hands into his pockets. Next year... He didn't even want to think that far right now. "Can't deal."  
  
"And here I was so sure Angel-chan and I made the perfect team!" Hyde went on, still pouting. "But big brother had to come in and beat us at the last second!"  
  
Kuro gave him an amused look. "Not my fault if you start getting predictable."  
  
"Rude!"  
  
"My, my, you two get along so wonderfully!" Lily chuckled, stepping between them with a chipper smile. "Congratulations on your win, big brother!" he said, turning to Kuro. "I didn't expect you to be such an amazing player. Your team must be proud!"  
  
Kuro lowered his gaze, blushing. Yes, his team was proud. Especially Mahiru. Even though he should be the one being proud of _him_.  
  
"Can't deal," he muttered quietly. "I didn't do that much. It's all thanks to Mahiru, anyway."  
  
Lily and Hyde looked at him, then they exchanged a glance. Lily chuckled. "You really like Mahiru-kun, don't you, big brother?"  
  
Kuro's face turned even redder. "Who wouldn't?"  
  
Hyde stepped closer to him, eyeing him from every angle with a knowing smirk. "Why so bashful, big brother?" he asked. "Could it be that you're in love?"  
  
"Wha–?!"  
  
Kuro gaped at him, speechless. Him? In love? With Mahiru?  
  
"...not really," he mumbled, only half sure of it himself. "I just think he's... kind of nice."  
  
Hyde and Lily exchanged a look, looking perfectly unconvinced. Then Hyde spoke up, his expression still irritatingly knowing. "Big brother, do you want to repay him for being nice then?"  
  
Kuro blinked in surprise. "Huh?"  
  
"Oh," Lily nodded in understanding, "now that you mention it, his birthday is coming up."


	29. La Dolce Vita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuro wasn't entirely sure they really needed that many people to bake a cake.

Kuro's eyes went wide. "Mahiru's birthday...?"  
  
He had never thought about that, he realized. He and Mahiru had been friends for months, and not once had he thought about when his friend's birthday might be, that it might be soon. The topic had simply never come up... Had Mahiru forgotten to bring it up? Or had he just not thought about it because he already knew Kuro's birthday thanks to his title of class rep, and everyone else knew his?  
  
"Yes!" Hyde grinned mischievously, stepping closer and leaning against the wall next to Kuro, all up in his personal space. "Wouldn't that be the perfect opportunity to repay Mahiru-kun if you think you owe him so much?"  
  
Kuro nodded thoughtfully. Yes... yes, he had a point. Kuro had always wanted to thank Mahiru properly, do something for him and show his gratitude for everything he had done for him, over and over again. If there was an opportunity to surprise him and make him happy, and with such a convenient excuse too...  
  
He frowned. "But... what should I do for him?"  
  
"It's his birthday, big brother." Lily smiled, shifting closer to them and lowering his voice. "Logically, the easiest option would be baking a cake, wouldn't it?"  
  
Kuro sweated nervously. He didn't have the slightest idea how to cook, let alone bake. He wasn't entirely sure he could even manage to make something without blowing the school up, let alone produce something remotely edible. "What a pain," he muttered, slightly disappointed. "I can't bake."  
  
"Bake what?"  
  
Lily jumped, spinning around and breathing a sigh of relief. "Misono!" he exclaimed, a startled hand on his chest. "Why, you scared me! How long have you been here?"  
  
Misono stepped into the group, looking from one to the other. "About since Kuro said something about baking." He frowned curiously. "What are you three up to?"  
  
Lily's smile widened. "Oh, we were just talking about big brother baking a birthday cake for Mahiru-kun! It would make a nice thank-you gift, don't you think?"  
  
"Did somebody say cake?"  
  
Hyde spun around, looking startled but not surprised. "Lichtan!" he burst out, just as the boy in question peeked into the circle. "Sheesh, don't startle me like that! You want me to die of a heart attack?"  
  
Licht scowled at him. "Good riddance."  
  
"Excuse you!"  
  
"Hey," Kuro interrupted them just as Licht was opening his mouth to spit a comeback, "you're getting off topic. Shut up or go get a room... what a pain."  
  
They looked at each other, then at him, then back at each other. "We don't need a room!" they yelled in unison. Pausing, they turned around and gave each other a glare. "Don't imitate me!"  
  
"A-Anyway," Lily smiled awkwardly, "good timing, Licht-kun. We were right in the middle of planning a birthday surprise for Mahiru-kun, since he's turning seventeen soon... Do you know how to bake a cake?"  
  
Licht struck a sparkly pose. "I'm an angel."  
  
"Yeah," Hyde helpfully offered, "we usually believe that means yes."  
  
\---  
  
Kuro looked right and left, peering out into the corridor. All clear. Careful not to make too much noise, he slipped out of his room, locked the door and snuck into the staircase, always on the alert for any unexpected noises.  
  
It wasn't that he was doing anything forbidden. He was only slipping out to go to the grocery store and buy the cake ingredients the others had listed off for him yesterday. His only worry was that Mahiru might spot him going out and ask where he was going or, even worse, offer to go with him. Because he really, really wasn't sure what to tell him in that case.  
  
But the dorm was empty, and Mahiru was nowhere to be seen. Kuro relaxed a little. Looked like it was all clear, after all.  
  
"Big brother!"  
  
He jumped, only to breathe a sigh of relief a moment after. Lining up next to him were Lily and Hyde, giving him knowing smiles as they caught up to him from behind. "We decided to go with you," Lily said quietly. "Do you mind?"  
  
Kuro looked from one to the other. Three Servamps going somewhere together... that was a strange thought. How long had it been since they had last done that? Had they done that at all since the gang had split up?  
  
But that had been different. Back then they had spent time together because they were a group, brought together by _him_. Now they had all gone their own separate ways. And yet here they were, setting out to do a perfectly harmless activity together, just to surprise a mutual friend. Funny how the world worked sometimes.  
  
"What a pain," he said, sighing and digging his hands into his pockets, looking down to hide the tiny spark of happiness in his eyes. "Just do what you want or something. It's a free country."  
  
Lily smiled, and Hyde grinned. Side by side they walked down the street, turning a corner and continuing towards the local grocery store. Kuro gazed straight ahead. For some reason he felt strangely comfortable with these two around, a little more secure in his trip to the store and his hunt for ingredients. Three pairs of eyes saw more than one, and if they came across Mahiru one of them would warn them for sure. And Lily knew how to bake too; he'd help him pick out the right things to use. He just hoped none of them would start talking on the way.  
  
"So," Hyde said with a knowing grin, looping an arm around his shoulder and leaning in way too close, "how are you planning to decorate the cake?"  
  
Kuro groaned inwardly. This was exactly what he had feared. Why did Hyde just have to get all up in his personal space and tease him like that? This was why he had planned to go alone.  
  
"Beats me," he muttered, still gazing ahead. "Do I have to decorate it in the first place? That sounds like a huge pain."  
  
"But big brother!" Lily and Hyde burst out in unison, staring at him with shocked eyes. "Don't you want to thank him as best as you can?" Lily continued. "You should definitely put in the effort to make Mahiru-kun happy!"  
  
"Exactly!" Hyde added. "You should totally go the extra mile, after all you're trying to impress your cru– _oww!_ "  
  
Kuro nudged him in the ribs, shutting him up. "He's not my crush," he said flatly. "Mahiru's not the kinda guy to care that much about decorations anyway. What a pain."  
  
But even as he said that, he couldn't hide the fact that he was blushing. Furiously.  
  
What was it with Hyde and the idea that he could be in love with Mahiru? Yes, he liked him. A lot. He liked him more than he had ever liked anyone before, but it wasn't like that was hard to accomplish. For the largest part of his life Kuro had been alone, isolated and shunned and never truly caring about anyone, including himself. He had felt loyalty before, towards the Servamps and their founder and possibly another person or two he couldn't remember. Responsibility. Maybe gratitude too, or a sense of companionship, he didn't know. But Mahiru had been the first person he truly _liked_ from the bottom of his heart, the first person he had ever called his friend. Was it that surprising for him to get a little attached? Was it really that strange for him to want to protect the boy who had reached out to him and brought him out of his shell with his life?  
  
No, that couldn't be it. Hyde was exaggerating. Yes, that had to be it. He loved Mahiru as a friend, loved him more than life itself, but he definitely wasn't _in_ love with him. He didn't have a crush on him. He'd never had a crush on anyone, but if he did get one, shouldn't he be the first to know? Hyde and Lily couldn't tell strong friendship from romantic feelings, that was all. And he was only blushing because it was embarrassing.  
  
Well, if he _had_ to fall for someone, he figured it would be Mahiru. But that was hypothetical. He wouldn't fall in love with his best friend; that was way too troublesome. He'd just end up breaking his own heart anyway. No use trying.  
  
Wait, why did that thought hurt so much?  
  
Kuro shook it off. No use thinking about it. Where had this thought even come from? Hyde's teasing and Lily's knowing looks had to be playing tricks on his mind. What a pain... he was so not telling them about all these confusing feelings. No need to provide them with more teasing material.  
  
"Big brother? Big brother, are you listening?"  
  
Kuro blinked to find Lily waving a worried hand in front of his face. "We're at the grocery store," he remarked, gesturing to the entrance. "You were zoning out, is anything the matter? Is there something troubling you?"  
  
Nope, definitely not telling. "Nah," Kuro said quietly, hoping and praying that his blush was gone. "Just kinda wanna take a nap."  
  
"Your face is red too, you're not falling ill are you?" Lily put a hand to Kuro's forehead, breathing a sigh of relief. "No, you seem to be doing well... If there is anything you want to talk about please tell us, big brother!"  
  
Hyde nodded and winked. "Were you thinking about Mahiru-kun? I can give you some romantic advice anytime!"  
  
"Don't need any." Kuro blushed again, feeling caught. "What a pain."  
  
Before either of them could say anything else and make him question his feelings even more, Kuro walked into the store, looking from side to side and trying to figure out in which direction to go. Crap, he didn't know this store at all. Where were all the baking ingredients at? He only knew the location of the cup ramen and potato chips.  
  
"Big brother!" Lily called over, motioning him to an aisle nearby. "Over here!"  
  
Kuro followed him and found himself in front of a shelf full of eggs in all shapes and sizes. Well, not really. Obviously they were all egg-shaped, and they were all roughly the size of an egg too; the only thing they seemed to differ in was the price and the design of the packaging. Sighing, Kuro reached down to grab a box of ten from the lowest shelf where the eggs were cheapest. What else was he supposed to look at?  
  
"Hold on, please." Lily took the carton from his hands, gently placing it back on the shelf. "Unless something goes terribly wrong, we won't need that many eggs to bake a single birthday cake. And where should we keep the leftover eggs? Here." He reached for a smaller carton with six eggs. "This much should suffice."  
  
Kuro took a look at the price tag and cringed inwardly. "Expensive... Can't deal."  
  
"Yes, you could say they're eggspensive," Hyde piped in from the side, grinning at his own terrible pun. "But don't worry, big brother! We don't have group funds for nothing!"  
  
Kuro sighed and put the eggs in the shopping basket. Hyde did have a point. Since Kuro was pretty much perpetually broke, the whole team had put money together to buy the necessary ingredients, more or less happy to participate. It was a relief, having everyone's support like this; if he had been by himself, Kuro wouldn't even have been able to afford the eggs till next month. _Probably shouldn't have spent everything on a month's worth of junk food. Oh well, it's not like I knew back then._  
  
Kuro pulled the crumpled shopping list out of his pocket, glancing around and comparing the listed ingredients with the shelves nearby. "Where's the other baking stuff?"  
  
Hyde let out a not-so-graceful snort. "Big brother," he said, stifling a laugh, "did you really think they'd all be together in the same aisle?"  
  
Kuro didn't see what was so funny about that, but even Lily chuckled. "There is no such thing as a cake ingredients aisle," he explained, leading the way along a row of shelves. "The flour and sugar are in another aisle, the chocolate in yet another, and we still need cream from the dairy section too. Don't worry, I'll lead the way."  
  
He turned around a corner, took a step forward– and bounced back as if he had walked into a glass door.  
  
Kuro walked smack against him, pulling a face. "Hey," he complained, "don't just stop like that, what a pain."  
  
Lily turned around and put a frantic finger to his lips. "Shhhh!"  
  
Kuro blinked up at him, confusion growing. "Hey, what's wro–"  
  
Hyde peeked past them both, jolted back and covered Kuro's mouth before he could finish his sentence. "Shh!" he whispered. "Let's wait here, big brother! Don't move! Act normal! Don't say anything!"  
  
Kuro looked from one to the other, back and forth between them, not understanding a thing. "Hey," he said again, quieter this time. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
Pushing aside his companions, he turned around the corner– only to zip back into the aisle faster than lightning.  
  
Standing in the next aisle, comparing price tags and happily oblivious, was none other than Mahiru, shopping basket in hand, trying to decide which brand of cookies he should buy. What the hell was he doing here? Why now? And why here? Why in the cookie aisle of all places? Mahiru never bought cookies. Why had he decided to get some today of all times?  
  
"Bad timing," Kuro whispered to Lily and Hyde, who nodded solemnly. "Can't deal."  
  
"What do we do now?" Hyde glanced right and left, as if searching for possible hiding spots. "Wait till he's gone?"  
  
"But what if he comes this way?" Lily whispered back.  
  
Kuro sighed. "We should probably leave and come back later."  
  
"But the eggs!" Hyde protested.  
  
"And Mahiru-kun's bound to go outside again sometime," Lily added. "Where do we hide then?"  
  
"Dunno." Kuro eyed the exit. "We should pay for the eggs and sneak out and then–"  
  
"Oh, hey, Kuro? What are you doing here?"  
  
All three of them simultaneously jumped three feet into the air.  
  
"M-Mahiru," Kuro said, shoving the basket in Lily's hands as he turned around, hoping and praying that Mahiru wouldn't get suspicious of the look of absolute terror on his face. "If you're here, you should say something... what a pain."  
  
Mahiru laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't think you wanted to come here too. Since you always like to stay indoors if you can, you know?" He eyed Kuro, then Lily and Hyde who were standing behind him. "What are you guys doing here?"  
  
The three of them looked at each other and swallowed. What should they say?  
  
Kuro's eyes rested on Lily, who fervently shook his head. True, Lily wasn't a very good liar if he didn't know what to say. They both turned to Hyde instead, who glanced back and forth between them with a look of growing confusion. "What?" he whispered.  
  
"You're the actor here," Kuro whispered back, nudging him. "You explain it."  
  
Mahiru was still watching them in puzzlement.  
  
"Hey, hey," Hyde lowered his voice even more, "the last time I ad-libbed was..."  
  
"Just do it."  
  
Hyde pulled a face and stepped forward, putting on his most casual expression as soon as he faced Mahiru. "You here too? Fancy to meet you here, Mahiru-kun!" He smiled brightly. "You know, Lily just wanted to bake a cake for the children at the orphanage so big brother and I kindly decided to help him with the shopping." He turned around to wink at Kuro. "Right, big brother?"  
  
Kuro wasn't too happy that Hyde had mentioned cake, but there was no helping it. "Yeah, something like that."  
  
"That sounds awesome, Lily!" Mahiru smiled brightly. "I'm sure the kids will love it! And Kuro, I can't believe you're helping, that's great! You should go with Lily to give them the cake, I bet they still remember Mr. Panda." He, Lily and Hyde laughed as Kuro blushed. "You guys should've told me! Need any help with the cake? I like baking so–"  
  
"No!" they burst out in unison.  
  
Mahiru blinked, taken aback. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I wouldn't really mind, you know..."  
  
Kuro, Lily and Hyde swallowed, looking at each other as panic rose inside them. How should they explain their outburst? And most importantly, how could they get Mahiru to not help them bake his own birthday cake?  
  
Lily and Kuro looked at Hyde. Hyde shook his head. "No way," he whispered. "I just saved us already! This time it's you guys' turn!"  
  
Lily just fervently shook his head. Kuro closed his eyes. _Focus,_ he told himself. Taking a deep breath, he racked his brains for an excuse, something, anything. Something that would convince Mahiru... something that would explain their freakout, anything...  
  
An idea struck him. _This might work._  
  
"Sorry, Mahiru," he said, hoping he looked and sounded about as casual as he didn't feel. "But Lily promised the kids to bake it himself. Wouldn't want him to break his promise, would ya? We're just helping him shop."  
  
Mahiru gave him a long look, processing the answer. Kuro swallowed. Had it worked? Had he bought it?  
  
Then Mahiru smiled, and all three of them relaxed. "I see!" he said happily. "Lily, why didn't you just say so? Then I'm not gonna get in the way! Just tell me if you need any help or something, okay?"  
  
They unanimously breathed a sigh of relief. Hyde gave Kuro a nudge to the ribs, grinning. "Nice one, big brother!"  
  
Kuro ran a hand through his hair. "Good thing he's so gullible."  
  
"Ah!" Mahiru's face lit up with an idea as he hurried towards them. "But I can help you guys with the shopping, right?"  
  
They all tensed up again.  
  
"A-Ah, certainly," Lily stammered before anyone else could say something. "There is nothing wrong with him helping us buy the ingredients," he whispered to the other two's questioning looks, "is there?"  
  
"Just the irony," Kuro whispered back. "Good news is we don't gotta worry about accidentally buying stuff he doesn't like."  
  
\---  
  
They finished the shopping faster than planned. Mahiru bustled through the aisles and shelves with the busy routine of a housewife with no time to spare, picking out the best ingredients with an experienced eye. Before Kuro knew what was happening they were all outside again, and Mahiru fell into stride next to him with a warm smile, glimmering and sparkling with a hint of pride.  
  
Kuro blinked at him, confused but not unhappy. He didn't understand what he had done to make Mahiru smile like that, this warm smile that was too radiant and blinding and beautiful for this world, the one that made his heart flutter and armies of butterflies take flight in his stomach. The smile that always made him grateful to know it was directed at him, him and nobody else.  
  
A blush crossed his face. "Bright..."  
  
Mahiru blinked. "What?"  
  
"That smile... it's blinding my eyes." Kuro shielded his face with his hand. "It's too bright."  
  
"Geez, Kuro! Is that an insult or a compliment?" Mahiru frowned at him, but his expression slipped and his smile broke through again. "I'm just proud of you, you know? You never even used to go to class and now you willingly go outside in your free time and help people shop for a cake you're not even gonna eat..." He beamed. "You really have changed, have you?"  
  
"You did."  
  
"...Huh?"  
  
Kuro swallowed. His feet tripped over something that wasn't there. His face flushed. Crap. Crap, what had he just said? It had slipped out... He hadn't meant to tell Mahiru! What now? Evade the topic? Cover up with a joking remark?  
  
Mahiru's eyes rested on him, too warm and too brown and too curious. "What was that just now, Kuro?"  
  
Kuro hung his head. "...nothing."  
  
"Okay." Mahiru's expression softened to understanding. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm not gonna insist or anything, you know?"  
  
Kuro nodded. Of course he wouldn't. That was the way Mahiru was; he never put anyone under pressure, not when it came to these close personal matters, and especially not Kuro. He wasn't surprised to get this kind of reply. And yet...  
  
And yet, why did he feel so guilty this time?  
  
It made no sense. He was hiding much bigger secrets from Mahiru, secrets he was never planning on telling him, ever. Secrets that could make even the kindest, most accepting human being in the world hate him. Secrets that could get Mahiru killed. So why did he feel so strange about not telling him this one embarrassing thought?  
  
 _You changed me, Mahiru._ That was all he had almost said. Why was that so embarrassing in the first place? Hadn't he said much more embarrassing things to him before? This should be no big deal... Were Hyde's words getting to him? Was he afraid of showing too much affection for fear that Mahiru might also think he was in love with him? He definitely didn't want Mahiru to think that. No matter what happened, he didn't want to make this friendship awkward. It was the first true one he'd ever had, the most important one in his life, and he was not going to ruin it with any actual or perceived feelings.  
  
Wait, _actual?_ There were no actual feelings here. Just friendship. Very strong friendship. Love, fine, but not romantic love. That wouldn't happen. He wouldn't allow it to happen. Not now, not ever.  
  
Kuro closed his eyes. His head was spinning. Great, now he had gone and made himself all confused to the point where he didn't know what to think or feel anymore. He wanted to tell Mahiru. Mahiru deserved to know. But if he really looked that much like he was in love, should he really show his feelings? Wouldn't that just create a huge misunderstanding?  
  
Kuro took a deep breath, determined to say something. "Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru looked up with an encouraging smile. "Yeah?"  
  
"You..." Kuro's voice trailed off. His courage faded. _It's okay,_ he tried to tell himself. _You already told Mahiru a ton of embarrassing stuff and he never batted an eye. Hyde's probably just teasing you. And even if he's serious, Mahiru is dense. Just tell him._  
  
Mahiru's eyes still rested on him, wide and curious. Kuro swallowed. _Just say it,_ he thought. _Just tell him that you're not the one who changed, it's him that changed you. It's the truth... what a pain._  
  
He took another deep breath and exhaled weakly. He couldn't do it. "...Never mind."  
  
Mahiru nodded in acceptance, but Kuro didn't miss the slight shadow of disappointment that crossed his face, sending a stab of guilt through his chest. _Sorry, Mahiru,_ he thought, dropping his gaze. _I don't know what's wrong with me either. I'll tell you sometime._  
  
Avoiding Mahiru's eyes, he picked up his pace and caught up to Lily and Hyde walking a few steps ahead, falling into stride beside them. Even now he could feel Mahiru's gaze on him, but he forced himself not to look. _Just ignore him. Everything else is too troublesome._  
  
Hyde turned to grin at him, and Kuro swallowed. _Oh great, here comes more teasing._ What was it this time? It wasn't like he had said anything strange to Mahiru... had he?  
  
Oh wait. Wait.  
  
It wasn't until Hyde opened his mouth that Kuro realized his mistake.  
  
"Why did you catch up to me, big brother?" he asked with a wink. "You and Mahiru-kun were looking so cute together! And weren't you just about to tell him something very important?"  
  
Kuro swallowed. Not good. Not good at all. He hadn't said anything potentially romantic to Mahiru... but at the same time he had completely overlooked how his behavior must have looked to people. To anyone who didn't know what he'd been thinking... it had to look like a failed love confession.  
  
Had Mahiru thought so too? Was that why he had looked so disappointed just now? Did he... _want_ Kuro to confess?  
  
No. No way. What was he thinking? Mahiru couldn't possibly have thought that. He wouldn't fall in love with Kuro in a million years. And that was why Kuro wouldn't bother falling for him either. There was no point in falling in love if it was one-sided anyway... and besides, Mahiru wasn't even his type. He didn't know what his type was, but he liked Mahiru as a friend. Not romantically. Whether or not it would be one-sided was all hypothetical.  
  
But then why had the thought of Mahiru wanting him to confess made his heart skip a beat?  
  
Kuro sighed and hung his head. His thoughts and feelings were spinning in circles. He was going nowhere, and he wasn't sure what to do. Should he ignore it all? Or should he try to figure out the source of these feelings? No... that would be too troublesome. He wasn't good with these things, and he definitely didn't want to find out what he might possibly uncover.  
  
Just focus on the birthday cake for now. That should really be enough to keep him occupied.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stepped up to the window and stretched, gazing at the setting sun in the distance. Another busy day done, and today sure had been productive. He'd been pretty busy with the sports festival until lately, and other work had piled up; but now everything was done and finished, and he could finally relax again.  
  
He closed his eyes, feeling the rays of the sun against his lids. Everyone had seemed productive today. Even Kuro had left the quiet safety of his room and ventured out to the grocery store with Lily and Hyde, _willingly,_ to help them shop for cake ingredients. A smile crossed his face. Kuro sure had changed, hadn't he? To leave the room of his own free will and without being dragged by the collar, and not even to go somewhere with Mahiru... He was growing more independent. More confident, perhaps. More... sociable?  
  
But at the same time he had acted strange today. Mahiru frowned, remembering how startled Kuro had looked when he had stumbled across him and the other two former Servamps at the grocery store. What had he been so startled about? And why had the three of them whispered frantically among themselves before answering Mahiru's questions? Something seemed strange. Had Kuro just been embarrassed to be caught helping people when he usually made such a big point of complaining every time he had to do something for someone? Or was it... something else?  
  
And that hadn't even been it. All the way until the cash desk Kuro and the other two had seemed strangely jumpy, as if they were hiding something. What were those three up to? Was it really just the cake Lily had promised the kids?  
  
He sighed. No use thinking about it. What was way more worrying was the way Kuro had acted on the way back. Was it just Mahiru's imagination, or had he acted even more awkward than usual? He had blushed a lot more than usual, and the way he had kept avoiding eye contact definitely hadn't seemed normal. The way he had caught up to walk beside Lily and Hyde instead of walking with him as usual wasn't normal. And what had he been trying but unable to say? Kuro had grown so honest with Mahiru lately, and now this. Had something happened? Had he done something wrong? Had Mahiru accidentally damaged the bond of trust they had managed to build up?  
  
No, that couldn't be it. He didn't know what he could possibly have done. Kuro should still trust him. He hadn't seemed like he suddenly distrusted him, more like he was having trouble expressing himself. Like he was having trouble putting his feelings into words.  
  
Mahiru sighed and frowned. Whatever it was, he just hoped it wasn't anything serious or permanent. This awkward, nervous Kuro was making him worry. No matter how he turned it in his head, something seemed wrong, and he just couldn't put his finger on it.  
  
Maybe he should talk to Kuro about it. When something seemed to be bothering a friend, thinking simply, he should probably ask about it. Especially if the friend in question was as important to him as Kuro was.  
  
 _Please be okay, Kuro. Whatever is making you act like this, I hope we can get it figured out._  
  
\---  
  
Kuro wasn't entirely sure they really needed that many people to bake a cake. That aside, they did make a merry gathering.  
  
Lined up in the home economics classroom, side by side, were Lily, Misono, Hyde, Licht, and Kuro himself; on the counter in front of them lay the pile of ingredients, obviously way too big to make one small cake. Mahiru had insisted to buy that much so all the kids at the orphanage would get a slice, and now none of them had any idea what to do with all the leftovers, except maybe use them as backup in case something went spectacularly wrong.  
  
And standing in the door, blinking at them as they stupidly blinked back, were two more people.  
  
"S-S-Sendagaya!" Misono blurted out, blushing and pointing an accusing finger at a slightly puzzled-looking Tetsu. "What are you doing here? How did you find us?"  
  
Tetsu tilted his head to the side in confusion. "You're the one who told me, senpai," he said bluntly. "Remember?"  
  
Everyone in the room simultaneously turned and stared at Misono.  
  
Misono blushed even redder, looking back and forth between Tetsu and the group, panicking. "H-He's wrong!" he stuttered frantically. "I never said any such thing! I would remember if I did! In fact, I made a point of not telling anyone at all!"  
  
"That's true," Tetsu mused. "'No, I am not free today! My friends and I are gathering to bake a birthday cake for Shirota, but I won't tell you what we're doing!' is what you said."  
  
Misono sputtered a series of incoherent noises. The others looked at each other and then back at him and collectively sighed.  
  
Kuro placed a grandfatherly hand on Misono's shoulder. "You're banned from talking to Mahiru till his birthday, Bastard-chan."  
  
"Wha–?!" Misono jumped back, freeing himself from Kuro's hand. "This is a mistake! You are mistaken, stupid! I never said any of that! Sendagaya, you imbecile!"  
  
Tetsu exchanged a disappointed look with Hugh standing next to him. "Should we leave again?"  
  
Misono opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything Lily cut him off. "By all means, do join us!" he said with a big smile. "The more the merrier!"  
  
"O-Okay!" Tetsu's eyes lit up with a spark of excitement. "If you guys don't mind, sure."  
  
Misono blushed and grumbled, but he didn't protest. Kuro just shrugged and nodded; Hyde and Licht didn't seem to care either way. Hugh looked every bit as enthusiastic about joining the group as Tetsu did; he practically bounced across the room, examining every single one of the ingredients.  
  
"What a fascinating display," he mused, standing on his tip-toes to peek over the edge of the counter. "You have picked excellent ingredients, O my dear brothers. With these I will gladly be able to help you bake a cake to leave everyone standing in awe!"  
  
"Do not let him," Lily whispered to Kuro as Tetsu excitedly agreed with his friend. "I made one attempt to bake with big brother and he ended up eating all the dough and giving himself a stomachache." He chuckled. "Well, not that Misono is much better in that aspect."  
  
Misono glared at him. "I heard that, Lily!"  
  
"Hey, let's get to work already." Kuro raised his voice just enough for everyone to fall silent. "If we stay here too long we're gonna be caught and that'll be too troublesome. Can't risk Mahiru finding us." He sighed, turning to Lily. "Tell us what to do. You're the pro here."  
  
Hugh shouted something about him being a professional too, but Kuro ignored him. He just wanted to get this done, as well and as quickly as possible, and then find a place to hide the cake until they gave it to Mahiru tomorrow.  
  
"Right," Lily said, pulling a neatly folded sheet of paper out of his pocket and unfolding it. "Very well. First of all, we need to prepare the dough. Who would like to volunteer?"  
  
They all looked at each other. Then Kuro stepped forward, picking up a bowl and spoon from the counter. "It's just mixing stuff, right?"  
  
"More or less," Lily replied, although he didn't seem too happy with that remark. "Hold on, you won't need that spoon and bowl yet, big brother. First of all you have to measure the ingredients, you know?"  
  
Kuro frowned at him in confusion. "So you don't just put in a pack of everything? What a pain."  
  
Misono spluttered and nearly tripped over his feet. "You don't?"  
  
Lily gave them all a slightly helpless look before smiling again. "You do not," he reaffirmed, watching as Kuro groaned unwillingly and Misono's jaw dropped to the floor. "You have to mix them in the right proportions."  
  
Kuro sighed and reached for the flour and the kitchen scales. "How many packs do I need?"  
  
"...Hold on–" Lily smiled uncomfortably– "I'll do it myself. Big brother, may I...?"  
  
"Sure," Kuro mumbled and stepped aside as Lily started measuring flour, eggs and sugar in very exact amounts. He didn't really get what could be so hard about finding the right amount of some ingredient, but whatever, he wouldn't mind. As long as he got to help with something else later.  
  
Hugh snatched the recipe off the counter, taking a peek at it. "Interesting," he remarked with the aura of a seasoned gourmet. "However, I'd rather make some adjustments to this marvelous creation. For one, we need more sugar." Scrambling and stretching, he reached for the pack of sugar, shoving it towards the mixing bowl Lily was pouring everything into. "Put in more sugar, Lily!"  
  
Lily jumped, startled. "B-Big brother!" he burst out. "I'm very sorry, but we can't put in any more sugar! You have to mind the chocolate we'll include later..."  
  
Hugh pointed a finger at him. "Include more sugar! That is an order!"  
  
"B-Brother..." Lily raised his hands in defense. "But the recipe..."  
  
"Put in more sugar, Lily," Misono ordered from behind. "A cake has to be sweet!"  
  
"Not you too, Misono..."  
  
"If Hugh says it needs more sugar then it needs more sugar, Lily-senpai."  
  
"Tetsu-kun too...?"  
  
Licht struck a dramatic pose. "Sweeter is better."  
  
Sweating bullets, Lily turned to Kuro and Hyde, his eyes pleading for help. "Big brothers...!"  
  
Hyde pursed his lips. "It's not like I have to eat it anyway."  
  
Lily's eyes turned to Kuro, begging for some support. Kuro shrugged. "Dunno. Don't care how much you put in as long as it tastes okay."  
  
With a sigh of utter resignation Lily turned back, reaching for the sugar. "I suppose a little more won't hurt," he said awkwardly. "If it becomes too sweet we can always cut back on the chocolate later..." Pouring everything into the bowl, he turned around. "Who does the mixing?"  
  
"I do!" Misono said before the others got the chance. Sticking out his chest with pride, he stepped forward, confidently taking the spoon in his hands. "I always mix the dough at home. This is easy!"  
  
"Um, Misono, you have only ever mixed crêpe dough so far..."  
  
"Who cares! How much harder can this be?"  
  
Kuro sighed to himself. "Famous last words."  
  
Misono grabbed the bowl and started stirring. Quickly at first, then slower and slower and slower. His arm started trembling. His face started sweating. His expression grew more and more intense.  
  
"Damn it, it's rock-hard!" he said through gritted teeth, desperately yanking at the spoon. "My spoon is stuck! Is this concrete...?"  
  
"Here, let me."  
  
Misono turned around to find Tetsu standing awfully close to him, fingers curling around Misono's hand still holding the spoon. "S-S-S-Sendagaya!" he yelped, jumping and nearly head-butting Tetsu in the chin. "Don't sneak up on me like that, you bastard!"  
  
"Sorry." Tetsu ran a hand through his hair, looking only mildly apologetic and not at all ashamed. "Can I keep stirring it? I'm not really good with all the other stuff, anyway."  
  
"A-Alright," Misono grumbled, hurrying to get away from him as quickly as possible. "Go ahead, Sendagaya. And next time just ask before you sneak up on me, do you understand?"  
  
Tetsu nodded and started stirring. Well, _he_ might call it stirring. To Kuro it looked more like vigorously spinning the spoon around at maximum speed, whipping it around faster than the eye could follow. Dough was splashing everywhere, splattering in Tetsu's face, on everyone's clothes, the counter, the floor. The only place where the amount of dough was continuously shrinking was the bowl itself.  
  
"Okay," Kuro said, wiping a splotch of dough off his face and licking his finger, "why do I kinda feel like that's not how it works?"  
  
Lily rushed forward and grabbed Tetsu's arm. "Tetsu-kun, stop, stop! The dough is getting everywhere! Please don't waste the ingredients!"  
  
Tetsu stopped stirring, turning around to blink at the mess, then gazing down his own dough-splattered shirt. "Ah," he said awkwardly, "sorry. I thought it was harder so I kinda went all out."  
  
Sighing, Kuro walked up to him to peer at the sad rest remaining in the bowl. "You sure wasted a lot, Onsen Dude." He measured it with his gaze. "Guess we could still make a cupcake."  
  
Truth be told, he was starting to get a little frustrated. They did say that too many cooks spoiled the soup, or in this case the cake, and he was starting to feel it. They had been here for what felt like ages and made no progress at all, instead wasting their time goofing off and arguing over the amount of sugar and throwing the dough all over the place. At this rate he would never get an acceptable birthday cake for Mahiru. And what should he do then?  
  
He eyed the pile of ingredients on the table. Good thing Mahiru had convinced them to get so much. Otherwise one of them would have had to run to the grocery store now, or they really would have needed to make a cupcake.  
  
"Hey, everyone." Licht licked a stray splotch of dough off his wrist, but his face was serious. "Let's do this right this time. Something as divine as a cake isn't something to waste."  
  
Hyde pulled a face. "You say as you're snacking, Lichtan..."  
  
" _Everybody, shut up._ "  
  
Everyone jolted up. Kuro's eyes had gone dark, glowing with a fierce intensity that brought back shadows of the past, shadows of a boy standing in the middle of a battlefield, ready to fight. He wasn't just frustrated or mildly annoyed anymore. He was angry. Seriously angry.  
  
"Take this seriously," he growled, glaring at everyone in the room. "You want Mahiru to get his surprise tomorrow or not?"  
  
They all looked at him, then at each other. Lily smiled gratefully, giving a sigh of relief. Hyde grinned awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. Misono swallowed and hid behind the counter, looking downright terrified. Tetsu and Hugh exchanged a confused and slightly guilty glance. Licht looked unapologetic, but he seemed to agree.  
  
"All right," Lily said with a smile, breaking the tension. "Then let's add more ingredients until we have enough dough for a cake again, shall we?"  
  
"I'll measure the flour," Kuro said quickly.  
  
Licht stepped forward. "I'll take care of the sugar."  
  
"And I," Misono declared, "shall crack the eggs. Read the recipe, Lily."  
  
Lily smiled and picked up the recipe sheet, wiping off bits of dough and flour. "Alright then, is everyone ready?"  
  
Kuro measured and weighed the flour on the kitchen scales, making sure to get the amount as precisely as he could. It was a bit of a hassle, but for once he wouldn't make do with a result that was just more or less okay. This was for Mahiru's birthday. Mahiru deserved nothing but the best.  
  
A few steps away Licht looked tempted to snack on the sugar, but Hyde kept a close eye on him. Kuro noticed that he had poured in a little more sugar than was in the recipe, but he didn't mind. They had discussed this only a few minutes ago, and the wasted dough hadn't tasted that bad with the extra sugar.  
  
There was a loud crack, quickly followed by a startled yelp and a curse, and Kuro spun around.  
  
Misono was holding an egg in his hands– or rather, he was holding the tragic remains of an egg. To be precise, the only thing he was holding was a cracked shell; everything else had spilled on the floor, complete with the entire carton that had somehow crashed to the ground, pooling on the floor in a wobbly mess of raw eggs.  
  
Everyone stared at Misono. Misono stared back, blushing. "I..."  
  
Kuro let out a sigh from the very depths of his soul. "Ah, what a pain."  
  
"I-It wasn't me! The stupid carton was on the edge! What bastard put it there? Of course it would..." Misono's voice trailed off, his face turning redder and redder under everyone's stares. "I... I'll clean it up... Do we still have enough eggs?"  
  
Kuro narrowed his eyes. "You're not touching those, Bastard-chan."  
  
"I'll clean it up! What do I need? I– _whoa!_ " Misono stepped right into the smashed eggs. His foot slid out. Shrieking like a little girl, he tumbled backwards, falling down on the floor, right into the eggs.  
  
"Misono, careful!" Lily called out, dropping everything to hurry and help him up before he could fall again and do any more damage. He didn't even notice that he had knocked the bag of flour over, its contents spilling freely over the counter and down on the floor. Kuro leaped forward, trying to gather the flour back as well as he could, only to knock his elbow into Licht, who blurted a curse as the kitchen scales tumbled over, sugar spilling everywhere.  
  
"You monster!" Licht burst out, jumping to pick up the kitchen scales and start gathering the sugar back into them, careful not to leave out a single crumb. "Not the sugar, you demon!"  
  
Hyde jumped in, trying to yank the scales from Licht's hands. "Lichtan, no! You can't eat the sugar once it was on the floor!"  
  
"Let go, shit rat! It's a sin to waste sugar!"  
  
"It's a sin to feed that sugar to Mahiru-kun! What if he gets sick, geez?"  
  
Licht snatched the scales away from Hyde with a yank. Sugar spilled all over him. Misono was still frantically trying to get rid of the raw egg on his clothes. Lily was searching for something to clean the floor with. Tetsu and Hugh were hurrying around the room searching for a broom or a mop, knocking things over in the process. Kuro tried to gather the flour, but it kept falling through his fingers.  
  
That was when the door opened.  
  
Everyone froze.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?"


	30. Pre-Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All he knew for sure was that he had to do something.

The entire room fell silent. Everyone stopped moving.  
  
Nobody said a word. Nobody breathed. It was so quiet one could have heard a pin drop. Everyone unanimously turned around, staring at the figure standing in the doorframe.  
  
And everyone just had one single thought. This couldn't be. This wasn't happening. No way, no way, no way.  
  
 _Mahiru._  
  
The class representative blinked at them, eyes taking in the entire room, the mess, the panicked faces. His expression shifted to something between shock and laughter. And anger. Kuro swallowed. He was mad at them, of course he was. They had used this room without permission and they had created a huge mess and wasted all the ingredients he had helped them buy and they were so, so doomed.  
  
What should he do? What should _they_ do?  
  
"Okay." Mahiru stepped back, planting his hands on his hips, looking like an angry mother about to give her children the talking of a lifetime. "First of all, what the hell is this and who the hell did this?"  
  
Everyone looked at each other, panicking. What should they say? Should they make up an excuse? Should they lie? Should they say nothing? No matter what they did, Mahiru would be furious at them. What should they do? How should they reply?  
  
Kuro clenched his fists. He had no choice. The surprise would be spoiled, and Mahiru might still be mad at them. But this was the best option. This was the easiest way to save them all from any future disasters.  
  
"Mahiru," he said quickly, before someone else could speak up, "we were trying to bake you a birthday cake to surprise you tomorrow. Looks like we all suck at baking. We... failed it." He dropped his gaze, all the frustration, all the disappointment welling up on him and swallowing him whole. Damn it. Why had it all gone like this? Why had they failed so miserably? All he had wanted was to make Mahiru happy and now... they were giving them trouble. They had disappointed him. Why hadn't he done better? Why had he been such a failure?  
  
"...I'm sorry, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru gaped at him, wide-eyed. Then he looked at the others, as if he couldn't quite believe what he had heard. "Guys... are you for real?"  
  
They all exchanged a glance. All eyes came to rest on Kuro, surprised, disappointed and a little accusing.  
  
Hyde spoke up first. "Big brother!" he complained. "Why did you tell him that? You spoiled the surprise!"  
  
"Precisely!" Misono pointed an accusing finger at him. "We didn't go through all this trouble for you to tell him now, bastard!"  
  
The others looked like they wanted to say something too, but Mahiru raised a hand. His expression was neither angry nor accusing, not even disappointed. He just looked surprised, surprised and very baffled. "Wait," he said. "Guys, wait."  
  
Everyone paused.  
  
"Did I get this right?" he asked, his cheeks the slightest shade of pink. "You guys... were trying to bake a cake for my birthday? To surprise me? All together? And then it went out of hand?"  
  
They hung their heads and nodded.  
  
For a second the room was silent. Then there was a noise that made them all glance up, a soft, warm, gentle sound that none of them had expected to hear. It was laughter. Simple, honest, happy laughter.  
  
Kuro couldn't believe his eyes. Mahiru was _laughing_. He was laughing from the bottom of his heart, his face aglow with joy and gratitude, his smile shining like a sky full of stars. He wasn't mad or disappointed. He was happy. And he was laughing, and Kuro didn't understand why.  
  
Why? Why was he happy? They had spoiled the surprise, made a huge mess of the classroom and wasted a ton of ingredients. Why was he laughing? What on earth did he find so funny? What had they ever done to deserve this look on his face?  
  
"Mahiru..." he said quietly, unsure what to think or say. "What's so funny?"  
  
Mahiru took a breath to calm down, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "You guys sure are amazing," he said. "You all tried to work together just to bake me a birthday cake? I'm surprised you even remembered!"  
  
Kuro looked at the others. None of them seemed too comfortable. They all seemed to feel like the praise was exaggerated, like Mahiru had no right to call them such nice things after the utter chaos they had created when they shouldn't even have been allowed to use the classroom at all. They weren't amazing. They had only tried to make a friend happy and failed.  
  
Mahiru's expression turned serious. "Hey, what's with those looks? I mean it!" He planted his hands on his hips in a mother-like pose. "You must've been trying hard, right? I'm just happy you all even wanted to surprise me for my birthday in the first place. So..." He smiled at them, radiating warmth and happiness like an afternoon sun once more. "Thanks a lot, guys!"  
  
Kuro's heart skipped a beat. He still didn't get why Mahiru wasn't angry at them, but it didn't matter. They had made Mahiru happy. Somehow, in some strange, incomprehensible way, they had made him happy. That was all that mattered.  
  
"And now," Mahiru declared with his hands on his hips, smile turning into a strict frown, "go get some stuff to clean up this mess with! Just because you wanted to surprise me doesn't mean you can use this classroom without permission! You better hide all traces of you ever being here, all right?"  
  
They all blinked at him, stumped by his sudden change in attitude. "Huh?"  
  
"Did I stutter? Look at this place, it's like something exploded in here! You can't leave it like this!" Huffing in annoyance, Mahiru hurried over to the closet, threw it open and started handing out brooms, mops, sponges, and cleaning rags at lightning speed. "Go clean up this mess before it starts drying, geez! And then we'll bake a new cake!"  
  
Kuro paused in confusion, broom in hand. "Uh... 'we?'"  
  
"Yes, _we_. I'm so not letting you guys handling another cake by yourselves! You already wasted enough ingredients as is!" Mahiru gestured to the counter. "You need someone who actually knows how to bake helping you out and making sure you don't screw up again. Thinking simply, that's me!" He pointed to himself for emphasis. "I'm going to help you!"  
  
Lily raised a hesitant hand, smiling nervously. "I appreciate your offer," he began, "but Mahiru-kun, I can bake too, you truly don't have to–"  
  
"No buts! It's not an offer. Either I'm helping or no cake!" Mahiru huffed impatiently. "Now get to work already! You should already be glad I'm not getting you in trouble for using this place!"  
  
They all jumped, nodded and hurriedly got to work. Kuro focused on sweeping together the sugar and flour, trying not to look at Mahiru or anyone else in the room. He felt awful. All they had tried was to make a birthday surprise for their friend, and now it was the very friend in question who was saving them from messing it up completely and helping them get it done. Could they have failed any worse? Could this whole mission have gone any more wrong?  
  
At least the cake would turn out perfect now, Kuro had no doubts. But that wasn't the point. They hadn't wanted Mahiru to do this for them. They had wanted to make something for _him_ , as a return for everything he had done for them all and everyone. Now they could still eat the cake together tomorrow and celebrate. But that wasn't what they all had wanted. It wasn't what _he_ had wanted.  
  
Was there nothing? Nothing he could do for him? Nothing he could surprise him with?  
  
"Kuro? Kuro!"  
  
He jolted and looked up, startled.  
  
Mahiru returned his gaze with a worried expression, brown eyes dark with concern. "Kuro, what's wrong?" he asked softly. "You've been sweeping the same spot over and over again, you okay?"  
  
Kuro looked down at the floor. Mahiru was right. He had swept one part of the floor spotless, so lost in thought that he hadn't even realized what he was doing. "I, uh..." He inched away from Mahiru, away from the worried brown eyes peering over his shoulder. "It's nothing. I'm fine."  
  
He didn't have to see Mahiru's face to know that he wasn't convinced, but at least his friend didn't say anything. Sighing, Kuro continued sweeping the floor and placed the broom back into the closet.  
  
Everyone else seemed done with their jobs too, and soon after they were all gathered around the counter again, waiting for Mahiru's instructions. Mahiru rolled up his sleeves, turning away from the prepared ingredients and back to the others and gave them a wide, motivated smile. "Okay!" he declared emphatically. "Everyone, let's do this!"  
  
\---  
  
The cake came out perfect. Of course it did.  
  
Mahiru's instructions and explanations were as simple and easy to follow as the rest of him. He explained all that needed explaining, helped where the others needed helping, and soon enough the cake was done and finished, the home economics classroom filled with a sweet, chocolaty scent. Hyde had to hold Licht back from trying a piece right then and there, and Misono couldn't keep his stomach from growling. Mahiru even managed to make something out of the small amount of dough Tetsu had left when stirring and splashing all over the place. Everything had turned out better than expected.  
  
But Kuro didn't feel that way. This was still wrong. Mahiru had essentially made his own birthday present himself. And Kuro had nothing left to give him, nothing to surprise him with. Nothing to do for him.  
  
This wasn't how it was supposed to be!  
  
This was so wrong. This was so frustrating. He didn't get how all the others could smile like this, like everything was perfectly fine. He didn't understand how Mahiru could look so happy. Their smiles hurt him.  
  
He wished he could come up with something, but there was nothing. He didn't have any money left to buy a gift. He wasn't good at making things with his hands either. He'd had one chance to do something for Mahiru, and in the end Mahiru had needed to help him out. As always.  
  
This smile was underserved. It hurt. It hurt him!  
  
He couldn't stay here any longer. He couldn't look at all their happy faces. It was too wrong, too frustrating.  
  
Mumbling something about going to bed, Kuro slipped out and made his way back to his room.  
  
\---  
  
He didn't even want to get up the next morning.  
  
It was a beautiful day. The sun shone in through the window, the sky was blue and bright, without a single cloud. The birds were singing already. It smelled like summer and adventure, and Kuro couldn't help groaning and pulling the blanket over his head.  
  
He hated mornings like this. He hated the sun, it was way too bright; he hated summer, it was too hot; he hated the birds, they were much too loud when he still wanted to sleep. In winter nobody bothered him if he curled up in his room under a pile of blankets and played video games all day, but in summer everyone felt the need to pressure him to go outside. But today that wasn't the reason why he really, really didn't want to get up and face the world.  
  
Today was Mahiru's birthday. And he couldn't face him like this. He felt like a failure.  
  
He should get up, he knew that. If he stayed in bed and skipped class today, he'd be even more of a disappointment. Mahiru had tried so hard to drag him to class, even against his will. If he hid away now, on his birthday of all days...  
  
But he didn't want to meet Mahiru. He didn't want to face him. He didn't want to wish him a happy birthday, empty-handed and helpless, a failure of a friend who couldn't even bake his best friend a cake. Maybe it was no big deal to others. Maybe it really was no big deal, objectively. But to him it was. He couldn't face him. Not like this.  
  
Maybe he should just text him and wish him a happy birthday that way. Make up some story about how he was sick and taking today off.  
  
Would Mahiru be disappointed? Would Mahiru want to see him in person? If it was Kuro, he wasn't sure. Nobody had ever really wished him a happy birthday to begin with. If Mahiru just bothered to send him a quick text message, he'd already be happy... or would he?  
  
No... he'd want to see him. Selfish as it was.  
  
Maybe Mahiru felt the same? They were close friends, after all. But Mahiru had a lot of other friends; what did one less matter? But then again he seemed to treasure them all individually... but, but...  
  
This was confusing. What a pain.  
  
A knock on the door shook him out of his thoughts. Kuro froze, careful not to make a noise. Who could that be? Mahiru didn't often come here this early and wake him anymore; he only dropped by to pick him up, and they walked to class together. It was still way too early for that. So who...?  
  
"Kuro? Kuro, are you awake?"  
  
There was no doubt... it was Mahiru's voice.  
  
Mahiru? Why was he here?  
  
What should Kuro do? Should he respond? Should he pretend to be asleep? It wouldn't seem too strange if he did. It was still early in the morning. If he stayed silent and ignored Mahiru until he left again... it would be so easy.  
  
But it didn't seem right. That would be like turning the cold shoulder on him. Mahiru was probably here for a reason... Kuro didn't have the heart to pretend he couldn't hear his voice.  
  
Softly, very hesitantly, he shifted under the blanket and turned towards the door. "Ma...hiru...?"  
  
"Oh, you're awake? Did I wake you?" Mahiru sounded nervous and relieved at the same time. "Hey, Kuro... Can I come in?"  
  
Kuro pulled the blanket over his nose again, trying to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat, for what reason he didn't know. "Door's unlocked."  
  
Mahiru hesitated for a second, then the door creaked open, and he carefully slipped inside, making sure not to make too much noise and wake anyone in the neighboring rooms. Brown eyes rested on Kuro's figure tensed up under the blanket, soft and dark with concern. "Kuro..."  
  
"So early. What a pain." Kuro faked a yawn, pretending to look as sleepy as Mahiru would expect from him at this hour, as sleepy as he felt awake. "You sure are an early bird, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru tried to frown, but his expression betrayed him, turning into the slightest of relieved smiles instead. "Couldn't sleep," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "It's just... Say, Kuro, are you okay? You were looking really down when you left yesterday, did something happen?"  
  
 _A lot of things. But nothing I can tell you about._  
  
Hiding his face in the pillow, Kuro groaned, trying not to think about Mahiru's eyes on him, the concerned brown gaze that had now probably turned into open worry. "It's nothing."  
  
"Really?" Mahiru's hand rested on his back, and Kuro wanted to recoil and disappear. "I mean, you don't have to tell me but... if something's bothering you sometimes it feels better to talk to someone about it, you know?"  
  
 _I know. Please. Stop making this worse and let me pity myself in peace._  
  
" _It's nothing,_ " Kuro snapped, moving away from Mahiru's hand. He couldn't bother Mahiru with this. He had already bothered him with his insecurities so many times. He had bothered him with the cake yesterday. He couldn't always burden him with all his failures and weaknesses and mistakes without ever giving anything in return. The very thing he had tried and failed yesterday.  
  
Mahiru stayed silent for a long moment. He didn't try to touch Kuro again.  
  
"Okay," he said at last. "I won't bother you. I'll come pick you up for class later, all right?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer. He stayed curled up under the blanket, listening as Mahiru slowly turned away and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, his footsteps disappearing down the hallway.  
  
Mahiru had sounded disappointed, he realized. Kuro had disappointed him. On his birthday. The very day he had wanted to make him happy, the day he had wanted to see him happy the most. And now he wasn't happy, and it was all his fault.  
  
Why was he so bad at this? Why couldn't he just be a good friend when it mattered?  
  
He should apologize. He should get up and chase after Mahiru and apologize. But then he'd just burden him with his insecurities again. It was no use. No matter what he did, it would all be for himself, not for Mahiru.  
  
What should he do?  
  
He wanted Mahiru to be happy! He wanted to make Mahiru happy! How hard could it be? Why couldn't he do it? How did everyone else always just know what to do in such a situation?  
  
 _What should he do?_  
  
He didn't know. He couldn't tell. All he knew for sure was that he had to do something.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro didn't know how long he'd been lying there when his phone started ringing.  
  
He groaned, burying his head under the pillow and trying to drown out the noise. Why hadn't he remembered to turn his phone on silent yesterday? And who could want something from him at this ungodly hour in the morning? Couldn't they all just shut up and leave him alone?  
  
The phone wouldn't stop ringing. Kuro tried to stuff the pillow into his ears. Whoever was trying to outlast his usual tactic of ignoring calls until the caller hung up sure had some guts, he had to leave them that. What in the world could even be that important? Who–  
  
A sudden thought shot through him. What if it was Mahiru?  
  
No, no. Mahiru would just knock on his door again if he needed anything. It had to be someone else, and nobody else could possibly be important enough to answer a call at seven-thirty in the morning when all he wanted was to hide and hope for the day to be over as soon as possible.  
  
...But what if it _was_ Mahiru, after all?  
  
What a pain. He couldn't stay calm with that nagging thought on the edge of his mind, no matter what he did. He had to at least check the caller ID. And possibly turn off his phone if it wasn't Mahiru.  
  
Groaning unwillingly, he peeled himself out from under the pillow and blanket and reached for the phone, peeking at the caller ID. It wasn't Mahiru; it was Lily.  
  
Lily? Since when was Lily rude enough to call him at this time of the morning? He of all people usually respected his resting hours. Which were roughly twenty-two hours a day if left to his own devices, but that was a different story.  
  
But if Lily called him at this hour, it had to be important. Maybe better to pick up and ask what was the matter.  
  
Pressing the Call button, he held the phone to his ear, propping himself up with his other hand. "Hello?"  
  
"Oh, big brother, you're awake? Good morning!" Lily chimed, too happy and cheerful for the hour and Kuro's mood. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"  
  
"Nah." Kuro yawned. "Mahiru already did me the favor."  
  
"Mahiru-kun did?" Lily sounded concerned but not at all surprised. "Well, I thought he might. He seemed rather worried when you left yesterday, but he thought it might be better to let you rest for the evening. No wonder he woke up so early."  
  
Kuro closed his eyes. A pang of guilt pulled at him, piling on top of the guilt already resting heavy on his shoulders, crushing the air from his lungs. Mahiru had woken up too early because of him. He had made him worry and robbed him of his well-deserved sleep, on his birthday to boot. It was only getting worse.  
  
"That guy's a worrywart," he mumbled, hoping he didn't sound too dejected. "He needs to stop freaking out over everyone. It's not healthy."  
  
Lily chuckled. "Well, if he didn't worry so much it wouldn't be Mahiru-kun, would it? It wouldn't be the friend we all know and love."  
  
 _Love..._ Kuro swallowed. And shook his head. Not that kind of love. Lily might like to tease him, but this time he was just using an old, time-tested idiom. No need to read too much into it. He was overreacting.  
  
"Why'd you call me?" he asked instead, as nonchalantly as possible, eager to drop the topic. "This better be important," he added with a huge yawn. "It's early."  
  
"Right... I remember you aren't exactly a morning person, big brother. Apologies." Lily chuckled again, sounding more amused than genuinely sorry. "I'm calling you to suggest something to celebrate Mahiru-kun's birthday. I thought of a way we could still surprise him, you know?"  
  
Kuro sat up in his bed. The last bits of drowsiness and unwillingness evaporated. "A way to surprise Mahiru?" he repeated incredulously. "How?"  
  
"Did you know there's a festival in town tonight?"  
  
Kuro shook his head before remembering that Lily couldn't see it through the phone. "No," he admitted. A festival? That was the first he heard of it. Not that he cared much about what was going on in town; he never went there of his own volition, after all. But now that he thought about it, it wasn't surprising. Today was July 7.  
  
 _Tanabata, huh._  
  
A holiday Kuro had never thought much of. He'd never gone to any festivals. He'd never written any wishes to hang on bamboo. What should he celebrate? What should he wish for? No matter what his wishes were, he'd never thought they might come true, whatever he did.  
  
But today was a little different. Today July 7 wasn't just another annoying holiday that was nothing but a reminder of how lonely Kuro was. Today it was an opportunity... the possibility to still offer Mahiru something, even after the cake plan had so thoroughly failed. It was an opportunity to surprise Mahiru, to make him happy. Not as good as self-made cake, but infinitely better than nothing.  
  
"You're saying..." His voice came out nervous, excited and much too hopeful. "We should take Mahiru to the festival... as a birthday surprise?"  
  
The smile was evident in Lily's voice. "Precisely. What do you think?"  
  
"I'm in."  
  
Lily was quiet for a second, and Kuro blinked, realizing how unusual his response was. He had always been one to avoid large crowds. He disliked holidays and hated festivals, hated them for all the happy people having fun together while he was left alone, for the bright lights and voices and laughter he could never be a part of. He had never even been one to go outside of his own volition. And here he was, eagerly agreeing to go to a festival, just to surprise Mahiru and make him happy.  
  
 _I really have changed,_ he realized. _He changed me._ His life had done a complete one-eighty since Shirota Mahiru had walked into his life, stubborn and idealistic and completely fearless. He wasn't alone anymore. He had made his first friend, and he had made other friends, and even if he was still awkward he could feel himself becoming more outgoing... belonging more. And ever since he had stopped being alone he had suddenly become willing to do so many things, things he would have considered troublesome a few months ago, things he wouldn't have dreamed of doing. Right now there wasn't much he wouldn't do for Mahiru's sake. In fact, he couldn't think of anything.  
  
Was that love? This gratitude, this dedication, this feeling of loyalty... did that mean he was in love with Mahiru?  
  
 _Stop. Not this again. I'm not in love._  
  
Lily gave a bright laugh, and Kuro knew he was going to be teased before the third-year opened his mouth. "My, aren't we excited to go," he chimed. "Ah, young love..."  
  
"It's not love," Kuro said a little more sharply than he wanted.  
  
"My apologies. I'm simply happy for you, big brother." Lily's voice turned serious, losing its playful edge. "I didn't think I would ever see you passionate about anything other than fighting and destruction."  
  
Kuro swallowed and frowned. His voice went cold. Memories flickered on the edge of his mind, memories of a self he'd rather forget. "That's in the past."  
  
"Hopefully." Lily's voice sounded grave, as if he, too, was thinking of the old times. "Well," he said then, cheering back up, "for now, how about we agree on a meeting spot and a plan to take Mahiru-kun by surprise?"  
  
\---  
  
In retrospect, Kuro didn't know why, but he had somehow managed to get through the school day without raising suspicion. Which didn't mean today hadn't been hell.  
  
All throughout the day people had been congratulating Mahiru, giving him presents and good wishes and snacks and heaps of attention, and Mahiru had looked so happy at everything, every smile and tiny gesture. But in between the grateful smiles Kuro had caught his friend's eyes on him, expectant at first, then confused and finally almost a little disappointed. Kuro tried to ignore the looks, but he couldn't. Each one of them was a stab of guilt right into his chest, another rock piled onto the mountain weighing down on his conscience.  
  
 _Sorry, Mahiru,_ he thought, avoiding his friend's gaze. _I can't wish you a happy birthday yet. Not with empty hands. Just wait till this evening, please... I haven't forgotten, I promise._  
  
How he had managed to keep Mahiru free had been another story. Ryuusei and Koyuki had almost invited him to the festival in Kuro's stead, but Kuro had quickly distracted Mahiru while pulling them over to let them in on the plan. They had assisted him after that, quickly inviting everyone else who tried to ask Mahiru to go with them, and if he made it through this day Kuro would definitely repay them big time. Once again he was honestly grateful they had become friends.  
  
Now they were heading back to the dorm, and Kuro could still feel Mahiru's gaze on him, confused and disappointed and almost hurt. He clenched his teeth. That look was a blade through his heart, and he had to stop himself from turning around and confessing the whole plan to Mahiru on the spot, complete with a heartfelt apology and all the good birthday wishes he could muster. But he stayed silent. The others were relying on him to make this plan work. And he was relying on himself too. If he spoiled the surprise a second time he'd regret it forever.  
  
 _Please, Mahiru. Don't look at me like that. I'll tell you when the time is right._  
  
They parted ways at Mahiru's door, and Kuro went on to his own room, his heart heavy in his chest even as nervousness fluttered. Would this work out? Would this surprise finally go as planned?  
  
He glanced at the clock. Still a lot of time left. Way too much time, actually. What should he do with all that time? He knew the festival wasn't starting before sunset, but what was he supposed to do until then?  
  
Well, first of all he could get changed. If he was slow enough he might kill twenty minutes.  
  
Kuro untied his tie and rolled it up as neatly as possible, trying to follow the motions Mahiru had shown him a million times instead of just stuffing it into a drawer and trying to make it fit somehow. He slid off his cardigan and hung it on a hanger in the closet instead of tossing it over his chair like he usually did. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and folded it up, putting it in a box to take down into the laundry room later. He slipped out of his pants and placed them onto a shelf in the closet, also folded up as neatly as he could. Then he slipped into his favorite clothes and looked at the clock.  
  
He still had forever.  
  
Sighing, Kuro sat down on the bed and stared at his feet. What should he do with all that time? He couldn't focus on anything!  
  
 _You could do your homework for once,_ Mahiru's voice sounded in his head. _If you've got free time might as well do something productive, lazybones!_  
  
Kuro groaned and flopped back on the mattress, mumbling at the imaginary Mahiru to shut up. As if he could focus on homework now. He'd never be able to do anything productive when he was this nervous.  
  
Sitting back up, he reached for his phone. He could at least text the others and ask them how the plan was proceeding. That wouldn't help him go through those hours either, but a few minutes of keeping himself occupied were still better than nothing.  
  
 _Just took Mahiru to his room,_ he wrote. _How far are you all?_  
  
He couldn't believe he had seriously used proper spelling and capitalization instead of text language just to kill a minute more.  
  
The message sent, and the screen indicated that Hyde was typing a reply already. A message popped up on the screen a second later. _Who are you and what have you done to big brother? o_O_  
  
Kuro gave a groan. Of course they'd tease him. That message _was_ pretty out of character, he had to admit that.  
  
 _its still me tho,_ he texted back in his usual manner. _jst not usin text lingo bc bored._  
  
Lily was the next one to reply. _Are you nervous, big brother? ^_^_  
  
Of course he was. But Kuro wouldn't tell them that. They already had enough reasons to tease him as things were.  
  
 _whos watchin mahis room?_ he texted instead.  
  
And instantly regretted it.  
  
 _"Mahi"..._  
  
 _BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Big brother, you call him "MAHI" now? You two must be close~ <3_  
   
Kuro groaned and blushed. Fantastic, could he never do anything that wouldn't lead to more teasing from these two? They really were a lost cause. And it was starting to get seriously embarrassing. _shut up,_ he messaged back. _jst txt lang duh._  
  
 _Apologies._ Kuro could almost see Lily smiling through the next message. _Of course we have people watching the room. Don't we, Misono?_  
  
Misono sent a message of confirmation. Kuro relaxed the tiniest bit. Misono had rooms near Mahiru's, so he had volunteered to keep an eye on his room and make sure nobody would come drag him away before Kuro could. The others were preparing Mahiru's surprise party at their destined meeting spot near the festival. Kuro wondered if they had got him any presents, aside from the cake.  
  
Should he also...?  
  
But he was broke. And he had no time. There was nothing he could do.  
  
There was nothing at all, nothing except for sitting around and waiting and hoping it would get dark soon and everything would go as planned and Mahiru would be in his room and the cake wouldn't be ruined again and Mahiru would like the surprise and so many other things Kuro couldn't control. All he could do was wait now. A short while back he would have enjoyed this kind of situation... but not now. Right now he wished there was more he could do. Right now he hated how much was outside of his power, how much he had to depend on fate.  
  
He looked at the clock. Still several hours.  
  
Heaving a sigh, he grabbed his laptop, opened a video game and prepared himself for a long, anxious afternoon.  
  
\---  
  
As expected, the day wouldn't end at all.  
  
Kuro looked at the clock every five seconds. He couldn't focus on his game. Every few moments his thoughts would stray back to Mahiru, to the surprise party, to his disappointed face earlier. Just a little longer. Just a little more and he'd be able to leave and grab Mahiru and take him to the festival, and then he'd wish him a happy birthday with everything he deserved to hear. Just a little longer. But that "just a little" simply wouldn't pass.  
  
The screen turned dark as the words _GAME OVER_  flashed up on it, accompanied by a sad little tune. Again. Kuro simply couldn't stay focused, and this had to be the fifteenth time he had failed this easy level. His thoughts were still spinning around Mahiru, going round and round in circles in his head.  
  
Would this be enough? Would this surprise party suffice to make Mahiru happy, or would he need to do more after keeping his best friend confused and disappointed all day? What if it wasn't enough? What if Mahiru would be upset that he hadn't said anything just for this little celebration, what if–  
  
No. No, Mahiru wasn't like that. He had looked happy enough about the cake. He'd be happy about this too, Kuro was sure of it.  
  
Almost.  
  
Sighing, he shut his laptop and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if it was getting darker already or if he was just imagining things. No, he was definitely imagining things. The sun had just barely started setting.  
  
Time wouldn't move at all.  
  
Kuro closed his eyes and tried to think of nothing. He tried not to think about all the ways this could possibly go wrong, all the ways this might end in a giant disappointment. He tried not to think about Lily and Hyde's teasing or the confusion it caused about his own feelings for Mahiru. He tried not to think about the possibility of Mahiru coming to the same conclusions as those two.  
  
 _I'm in my happy place. It'll be fine. I'm in my happy place._  
  
Kuro didn't know how long he spent lying like that, trying to shut out the world and his own feelings, but when he finally opened his eyes it was already getting dark.  
  
He jumped to his feet, stumbling to the door and slipping on his shoes. It was time. He had to get Mahiru now. Now he'd get to see his reaction, see if their plan would work out in the end.  
  
His heart pounded as he walked out into the hallway, butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. _Please go over well,_ he thought. _Please work out. Please work out. Please work out._  
  
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Kuro half considered ignoring it. He had to get to Mahiru's room right now, he didn't have the time to–  
  
Wait. What if it was an emergency from one of the others? What if something hadn't gone as planned? What if it was Mahiru himself?  
  
Stopping in his tracks, Kuro pulled out his phone, unlocking the screen with shaky fingers. What he found was a message from Misono, very short, very cryptic and obviously typed in a hurry.  
  
 _WATHC OUT!!_  
  
Kuro frowned. What did that mean? Watch out for what? Misono was watching Mahiru's room... did that mean...  
  
He picked up his pace. Hurrying towards Mahiru's room, he turned a corner–  
  
–and heard the voices even before the faces came in sight. Two voices. Both awfully familiar.  
  
"Are you sure?" That was Mahiru's voice, clear and a little surprised. "You know, we could always ask the others and–"  
  
"Nah, why wait for them? I bet they're all there anyway! You don't wanna be left behind, do you?" The other voice laughed, and Kuro tensed up. He knew that voice.  
  
Sakuya.  
  
Sakuya? With Mahiru? Here? Now? Why... why?  
  
Was Kuro too late?  
  
"Of course not," Mahiru replied, oblivious to Kuro's presence as he inched closer, careful not to be spotted. "But, I mean... asking them first won't hurt, right? And thinking simply, it's more fun if everyone's going!"  
  
"Thinking simply, we haven't done anything together in ages!" Sakuya looped an arm around Mahiru's shoulder, trying to pull him out of his room. "I'm still your best friend, right? Best friends gotta hang out together on their birthdays!"  
  
Mahiru still didn't look fully convinced, but he didn't pull away from Sakuya's hug either. "Well... I mean, you have a point but..."  
  
Kuro went rigid. He was too late. Mahiru was about to leave with Sakuya, and all their plans would go down the gutter. He wouldn't be able to wish him a happy birthday. He wouldn't be able to apologize or give him his cake. He had missed his chance. It was too late.  
  
He should turn around. Turn around and leave and pretend none of this had happened. Text Mahiru an apology, perhaps. Then hole himself up in his room and not come out for a week. He still had the chance. Mahiru hadn't seen him yet.  
  
"If I have a point then don't be like that!" Sakuya pulled Mahiru closer, and part of Kuro's insides recoiled with disappointment and shame and some other emotion he didn't understand. "Come on, we can just go and text Ryuusei and Koyuki and your other friends later. But first let's hang out together again, okay?"  
  
No. No!  
  
Kuro couldn't give up yet. He had people counting on him. And he didn't want to give up either. He wanted to see this through and surprise Mahiru properly, this time for real. No running away. No excuses.  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth and closed it. Then he smiled. "Okay, if you–"  
  
That was as far as he got. Kuro rushed forward, grabbed Mahiru's wrist and pulled him away from Sakuya's side.  
  
"Sorry," he said, "but Mahiru's mine."  
  
Mahiru blinked, staring up at him with wide eyes, startled. "Kuro...?"  
  
Kuro didn't look at him. He didn't look at Sakuya either. He only turned around and started towards the staircase, pulling Mahiru along. "I'm gonna borrow this guy for a little."


	31. Street Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole world was crackling and buzzing with life, with excitement and energy and the simple joy of living that was fluttering all over the atmosphere.

Kuro hurried out into the street and down the road, trying not to think about what he had just said.  
  
 _Mahiru's mine..._ What had he been thinking? He hadn't meant to sound this possessive! All he had wanted was to tell Sakuya to back off because he already had plans for Mahiru today... How had he come out sounding like a jealous boyfriend?  
  
Mahiru's gaze was still boring into the back of his head, and Kuro tried to ignore him. He tried not to think about the look his friend was probably giving him. He must have sounded like a complete weirdo and creep, he already knew that. No need to look at Mahiru's face and reaffirm it.  
  
"Kuro?" Mahiru asked quietly, and Kuro almost tripped over nothing and fell over his own feet. "Where are you taking me?"  
  
Kuro tightened his grip on Mahiru's wrist, picking up his pace and ignoring the way his face started glowing, the way even the tips of his ears had to be bright red. "It's a surprise."  
  
"A surprise?" Mahiru went even faster, trying to catch up to Kuro and walk by his side, and Kuro started running ahead. "What do you mean... Kuro, what are you doing?"  
  
Kuro squeezed his wrist harder and stubbornly gazed ahead, blushing hard, his heart pounding in his chest with nervousness and embarrassment and a hundred other confusing things. "You'll see," he mumbled. "We're almost there."  
  
"Okay... _ow ow ow!_ " Mahiru tried to yank his arm free from Kuro's hand. "Don't crush my wrist like that, it hurts! I'll still follow you if you let go, so relax a little, all right?"  
  
"Sorry." Kuro let go of Mahiru's wrist as if it was on fire. "Didn't wanna hurt ya."  
  
Mahiru laughed as he fell into stride next to him, making Kuro turn away his head to hide the blush on his face. "I know, Kuro."  
  
They hurried through the streets, the sky above them getting ever darker as the first stars began to twinkle among shades of blue. Kuro's heartbeat thumped in stride with their footsteps. They were almost there. The moment of truth. In just a few minutes he'd see if this was enough of a birthday surprise.  
  
Side by side, they stepped into a small woody strip that separated their part of the town from the festival, the bright lights of illuminated stalls twinkling welcomingly at the end of the street. Kuro came to a halt. Where were the others? They should be here somewhere–  
  
"Surprise!"  
  
Kuro and Mahiru jumped and instinctively latched onto each other as crackers popped out from behind the trees all around them, quickly followed by Lily, Licht and Hyde, Tetsu and Hugh, Ryuusei and Koyuki and even Misono who had somehow made his way here faster than they had. Lily was holding a plate with the birthday cake in his hands, seventeen candles alight on top of it, illuminating the darkening forest. Tetsu and Hugh spread out a picnic blanket under a nearby tree.  
  
Mahiru looked left and right, his eyes growing ever wider. "What is this?" he asked. "Kuro? Everyone?"  
  
Kuro made a casual gesture to the people around them, trying to look as coolly nonchalant as he could with excitement still jittering and pounding and stuttering in his chest. "Surprise party," he said.  
  
"Surprise party?" Mahiru repeated incredulously. "For me?"  
  
"Exactly!" Lily smiled, motioning for Mahiru to sit down on the picnic blanket while he himself set down the plate with the cake in front of him. "Since the cake surprise was so unfortunately spoiled, we thought we had to at least surprise you with something else, you know?"  
  
"Guys..." Mahiru's gaze went soft, the shine of the candles reflecting in his brown eyes. "You shouldn't have... I mean, thanks so much! Just the cake would've been more than enough, really..."  
  
Kuro sat down next to him. "Not for us."  
  
"Kuro..."  
  
"Alright! Everyone sit down!" Hyde hopped onto the blanket, grinning at the successful surprise. "Let's cut the cake! But first it's time for the presents!"  
  
Kuro's body went cold.  
  
"Presents...?" he whispered incredulously as his eyes flitted from one to the other, hoping he had heard them wrong. But he hadn't. One after another they all brought out little boxes and packages, neatly wrapped in colorful paper and tied up with bows, pretty and full of care and consideration. Guilt grabbed his heart with cold hands. He had nothing. Of course he had nothing. But why had he expected the others not to get him anything either? They had the money and time. Of course they had all prepared gifts for him.  
  
And Kuro was empty-handed once more.  
  
He wanted to curl up in a hole in the ground and disappear. He wanted to run, he wanted to hide. He wanted to turn back time and change every decision that had brought him here without a birthday present for the person he treasured the most.  
  
Numbly, he watched as Mahiru unwrapped all the gifts one by one, smiling and thanking everyone as he received each present, his eyes shining with neverending joy and gratitude. He was so completely numb that he didn't even notice when all the gifts were unwrapped and all eyes came to rest on him, curious and expectant.  
  
"...Kuro?"  
  
He jolted and blinked, startled.  
  
Mahiru gave him a look of gentle concern. "Kuro, are you okay? You were spacing out."  
  
Kuro nodded quickly, then he lowered his gaze. Mahiru's eyes hurt him. He couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at this kind face that was about to turn so disappointed when he told him, when he revealed that he alone had nothing. Nothing to give Mahiru. Again.  
  
"Big brother?" he heard Lily's voice behind him, sounding almost as worried as Mahiru was. "Is anything the matter? Where is your present for Mahiru-kun?"  
  
Kuro went cold. He had to say something now. He had to admit what a failure he was. Part of him considered lying to Mahiru, saying something about forgetting the present somewhere... but that wouldn't help him. No, he had to be honest. And then leave and go home and never look at Mahiru again.  
  
"I... don't have one," he mumbled, his voice quiet with shame. "I failed on the cake, and I couldn't get anything else. I got nothing to give you. Sorry, Mahiru. Most I can do now is win you something at one of the stalls." He shrugged. "Want a goldfish or something?"  
  
...Why had he said that?  
  
Mahiru didn't answer immediately, but Kuro could feel his gaze on him, thoughtful and heavy. Then a light fist knocked against his head. "Kuro, you idiot!"  
  
Kuro looked up.  
  
"What's with that sad face, you dummy?" Mahiru stood up in front of him, planting his hands on his hips. "You look like this is a big deal! Do you think I care that much about you not having a present for me? Geez!"  
  
Kuro gaped at him, not understanding a single thing. "But... I..." He dropped his gaze in shame, shame to have committed blunder after blunder and shame at making Mahiru angry on his own birthday. "But Mahiru... aren't you disappointed? I'm the only one who doesn't have anything..." Of course he was. He had to be. Who wouldn't be?  
  
Mahiru sighed. "Of course I would've been happier if you'd gotten a present for me," he admitted. "But it doesn't matter! You tried your best on the cake and this party, right? It's the thought that counts!" Kuro looked up again, and Mahiru's brown eyes met his own, gentle and compassionate like mirrors of his warm, caring soul. "I'm not unhappy because you didn't get me anything. I wouldn't have minded! But I am unhappy because you look like this! Stop blaming yourself for such a little thing, you idiot!" He grabbed Kuro's collar and pulled him up to his feet. "It's okay. Just knowing you remember and care is enough, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro looked at Mahiru's face, looked at the bright, warm smile that was adorning his features and wasn't sure what to feel, what to think. "You're too nice, Mahiru. What a pain."  
  
"Hey, any good friend would want to see their friend happy!" Mahiru's smile widened. "And hey, if you really want to give me something for my birthday I'll think about it. I'd say yes to that goldfish, but we can't keep pets at the dorm..." He extended a fist towards Kuro. "Deal?"  
  
He didn't deserve this guy. Mahiru was so good. He was way too good for him. Kuro didn't deserve to feel this grateful, this blessed.  
  
"You really are one troublesome guy." Sighing, Kuro reached out and bumped their fists together. "Fine. Deal."  
  
\---  
  
Of all the festivals Kuro had seen in his life, he had never remembered how big and bright and pretty they were.  
  
The streets were alight. On every side there were rows and rows of stalls, food stalls, mask booths, games, and a million other things Kuro had only ever seen from a distance. A million scents mingled together, tickling his nose and making his mouth water and his stomach growl even though he had only just eaten a large piece of cake. Voices were everywhere, faces, laughing and chatting, figures walking down the street or lining up at the stalls, children singing and dancing and playing hide and seek between the legs of adults. The whole world was crackling and buzzing with life, with excitement and energy and the simple joy of living that was fluttering all over the atmosphere.  
  
Kuro took a deep breath, inhaling the scents and atmosphere. He couldn't believe himself, but this felt nice. If anyone had tried to tell him a year ago that he would ever willingly go over a crowded street festival and enjoy himself, he would have curled up under a blanket and told them to go away. Now he was here. In the middle of one of the crowds he had always disliked so much, and happier than he had ever thought he'd be today.  
  
He looked at the people around him, around the birthday boy walking by his side, and his chest felt warm. Maybe he didn't mind the crowd because of the people who were with him. Maybe crowds weren't so bad if he didn't have to move through them alone, when he had friends walking by his side, friends to share all the views and sensations and good things with. There were so many people in his life now. People he'd never thought he'd be able to talk to normally. People he'd never thought would accept him as a friend and not a fellow gang member.  
  
He was... so happy now.  
  
The group came to a halt at a calmer spot, pairs of eyes looking around in every direction. "Where do we go first?" Lily was beginning to ask just as Licht pointed at one of the food stalls.  
  
"Hey, shit rat," he said. "Buy me cotton candy."  
  
Hyde gave him a shocked look. "Hey, why should I buy it for you?" he snapped, pouting. "Go buy it yourself! Stupid spoiled Angel-chan!"  
  
"Who are you calling spoiled, you useless piece of trash! I'm an angel! I need sugar to maintain my angelic powers!"  
  
"Then buy it yourself, geez! I'm not paying for your snack!"  
  
"Now, now," Lily interrupted them before they could start hitting each other. "Don't fight in public, you two. Over there is a stall selling melon and ham! Why don't you two try some of that together instead of fighting?"  
  
Licht and Hyde stopped fighting and turned to look at the stall in question, and Kuro could pinpoint the exact second they both started drooling. Without saying another word they both started off towards it at the same time.  
  
"Hey, moron!" Licht yelled as they were walking, pushing Hyde away. "Who said you could walk this close to me, shit rat?"  
  
Hyde pouted at him. "You're the one walking close to me! Respect personal space, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht spat another insult at him, followed by a comeback Kuro couldn't catch anymore as they disappeared into the crowd and lined up at the stall, fighting over who'd get to stand in line first. Lily gazed after them with a chuckle. "Well, should we split up then?" he asked the remaining group. "We all have our own places we would like to visit, so I suggest we all go over the festival at our own pace and meet again for the fireworks, what do you say?"  
  
They all looked at each other, and when there were no clear signs of protest, Lily beckoned to Hugh and pointed at a fortune-telling stall. "Can I interest you in this, big brother?"  
  
"Definitely! Let us go and have our fortunes foretold, O younger brother Lust!" Hugh practically bounced at the suggestion. "I do hope they have dark fortunes. Dark and gloomy as my soul..."  
  
"Very well then, we'll be off." Lily smiled a little too knowingly and chuckled. "Misono, Tetsu-kun, you'll manage by yourselves, won't you? If anything is the matter feel free to call." And with that they were off.  
  
Misono and Tetsu gazed after them in confusion. Misono looked like he wanted to run after Lily and yell at him to come back, but he didn't. Instead he turned to look at Tetsu just as the other did the same.  
  
"Well," he declared with an awkward cough and a blush, "it's not like we need them around. The six of us can uh... what do people these days call it... hang out together, can we?"  
  
Kuro gave him an amused look. "You sound like a dad trying to be cool, Bastard-chan."  
  
Misono blushed furiously. "Y-Y-You be quiet! This is completely beside the point, you bastard!" Huffing, he turned back to the others. "My point was, the six of us could go over the festival together."  
  
Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki nodded casually. Tetsu didn't respond for a moment. Then he took a breath and reached for Misono's hand, lacing their fingers together.  
  
Misono froze and blushed even redder. "Wha-Wha-What are you doing, S-Sendagaya?"  
  
"Ah, do you mind?" Tetsu ran his free hand through his hair. "Sorry, it's just... I wanna go together with you, senpai. Just us two, I mean." He blushed lightly. "If you're fine with it."  
  
Misono gaped at him for several very long seconds, his face glowing. "I..." he stuttered, half shocked, half angry and completely flustered. "I... You... What?"  
  
"If you don't wanna it's fine." Tetsu let go of Misono's hand, but Kuro didn't miss the slight hint of disappointment in his eyes. "Just a feeling, you know. We can hang out with the others if that's what you want."  
  
"W-Well." Misono coughed and cleared his throat, trying to look smug and proud but still looking so red it gave away the underlying nervousness. "I suppose I could spare an hour or two to spend with you alone if you insist, Sendagaya."  
  
Tetsu's face lit up. "Is that... a yes?"  
  
"That is obviously a yes, you imbecile! Do I need to spell it out for you, bastard?"  
  
"...sorry."  
  
Misono blushed and adjusted his collar, a perfectly unnecessary gesture, then he turned away his head, blushed, cleared his throat, and extended his hand towards Tetsu. "So?" he grumbled in the general direction of a yakisoba stall. "Where should we go first?"  
  
Tetsu hesitated for a second, then he awkwardly reached for Misono's hand and curled their fingers together. Misono jolted, but he didn't pull away. They both looked away from each other, studying the surrounding stalls under the pretense of finding a destination. For a minute neither of them moved or said a word. Kuro felt the urge to look away and give them their privacy.  
  
At last Tetsu moved, pointing into a seemingly random direction. "That way?"  
  
Misono nodded and started off into the direction Tetsu had pointed at, pulling the first-year along. "A good idea, Sendagaya," he remarked. "Let's look out for some food while we're at it. I could use something sweet."  
  
Kuro watched them merge into the passing crowd and disappear, only Tetsu's blond head sticking out over the others every once in a while. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he turned to his three friends. "So it's the four of us, huh."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance. Knowing smiles spread over their faces, and when they turned back to Mahiru and Kuro it was clear as day that they were up to something. Kuro tensed up. For some reason he didn't like the look on their faces one bit. They looked too much like Lily and Hyde.  
  
"Well," Koyuki began with a soft smile, "we just remembered that we still had to meet with some other people here..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah! Some guys from class A asked us to help with their food stall!" Ryuusei nodded, then he smiled slyly. "So I guess we gotta leave you two to yourselves, huh?"  
  
 _They believe it too._ The thought shot through Kuro like lightning. They also suspected him of being in love with Mahiru, didn't they? No, they seemed convinced. The looks on their faces told him everything he needed to know. What they had told them was just an excuse, and they were trying to set them up.  
  
Why did everyone think that he was in love with Mahiru? Did he really act so in love? Was he actually in love without realizing it?  
  
Should he admit it to himself, even though he wasn't sure? Should he change his behavior so people wouldn't suspect things anymore? Should he keep going as things were and ignore the rest?  
  
Mahiru gave their two friends a curious look, thankfully oblivious to Kuro's confused state. "Help with their food stall?" he asked. "Ah, do you want us to join?"  
  
"No, no!" Ryuusei and Koyuki said in unison. "Don't worry about it," Koyuki added gently. "It's your birthday, so you should relax, you know?"  
  
"O-Okay. Thanks then!" Mahiru smiled gratefully. "If we see you guys we'll drop by for a snack! Right, Kuro?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Kuro said absentmindedly. _So clueless._ Mahiru obviously had no idea those two were just trying to set them up. He was too trusting... no, he was downright gullible. What a pain.  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki smiled back and hurried off, and Kuro was left alone with Mahiru. Alone in a crowd of strangers drifting by, navigating around them like water washing around a rock in the middle of a river. It was strangely quiet. For a moment they just looked at each other in silence, and the world around them seemed to fade.  
  
"So," Mahiru said at last, "I guess it's just the two of us again now. Right, Kuro?"  
  
\---  
  
"For the third time, I'm not going into any crowded place with you people."  
  
Sakuya sighed and tried to leave, but Tsubaki reached for his arm and stopped him again. Sakuya didn't turn. He knew that Tsubaki would just give him the puppy-dog eyes if he did, and then he might not be able to resist much longer.  
  
It wasn't even that he didn't want to go to the festival with Tsubaki and everyone, all the troublesome, exasperating people who had become his family over the years. The truth was, he really did. But he couldn't risk it. If someone he knew stumbled across them, how should he explain it? How should he explain it if one of his friends caught him, if Ryuusei or Koyuki spotted them together? What if Mahiru did?  
  
The grip on his arm wouldn't give, and Sakuya hung his head, clenching his fists and trying to push down the warring feelings inside his head. "I'm sorry, Tsubaki-san." He tried to pull away again. "All my friends and classmates are there. It's too risky."  
  
"You could wear a mask," Tsubaki suggested nonchalantly.  
  
Sakuya felt torn between laughing and crying. "Good idea," he said sarcastically, wrapping a curl of his conspicuous green hair around his finger. "Then how do I hide this?"  
  
"We could wear disguises."  
  
Sakuya turned around. He didn't know how or when Otogiri had appeared, but he sure as hell didn't remember her being in the room with the others. She had used her time away to change clothes; she was now dressed in an elegant light pink yukata, and her usual red flowers in her hair were gone in favor of a more opulent black and rose ornament. Draped over her arms were colorful pieces of fabric that were evidently costumes, and she had gathered a number of masks from somewhere, placing them down on the windowsill next to her.  
  
"If we disguise ourselves, nobody will know who we are," she explained calmly. "Nobody will suspect you're with us. Problem solved."  
  
It sounded easy. Temptingly easy. So easy that Sakuya couldn't help wondering if there was a catch or a prank, if something would go horribly wrong and he'd end up revealed in front of everyone.  
  
It seemed too easy. This couldn't work. This wouldn't work.  
  
Except... he wanted it to work. Desperately. He really wanted to accept this suggestion and go out and enjoy the festival with everyone, have fun with them and laugh with them and enjoy the evening before he went back into hiding. Just for this evening... he wanted to push his worries aside. He wanted to take the risk.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Let's get this masquerade started."  
  
\---  
  
"Angel-chan! Everyone's gone!"  
  
Licht picked up his pace, trying to follow the unnecessarily loud yell from somewhere in the deepest middle of the crowd without dropping any of his fresh melon and ham. "What do you mean, everyone's gone?" he shouted back at the idiot. "You just lost them, shit rat!"  
  
"I didn't lose them! Geez, my sense of direction isn't that bad!" There was a furious hand gesturing somewhere above people's heads, and Licht pushed through the crowd to find its owner. "They were right here, I know it! But now I can't see them anywhere!"  
  
Licht pushed through the remaining few people to come to stand in front of his idiot classmate, who greeted him with a pouty huff. "Of course you can't see them," he deadpanned. "It's crowded as shit. I almost lost you a second ago! What did you run off like that for, moron?"  
  
"I tried to get back to them! I wouldn't have run off if you hadn't taken so long, stuuupid Angel-chan!" Hyde stuck out his tongue. "This is your fault! We could have stayed with them, but no, you just had to get melon and ham!"  
  
"And you followed me, shit rat!"  
  
"Of course! Imagine if you'd lost all of us, all alone in a crowd... what a sad, sad Angel-chan you would have been!" Hyde sighed, striking a melodramatic pose and dodging a kick from Licht. "Geez, stop kicking me! I was just being nice!" He dodged another kick. "Stop it! You'll hit someone else in this crowd!"  
  
Licht hated to admit it, but Hyde had a point, so he let it be for now. Instead he focused back on his melon and ham. He didn't want the ham, but the melon looked and smelled delicious. If only there was a way to get melon with melon instead of melon with ham...  
  
"You planning to eat that, Lichtan?"  
  
Licht looked up from his melon to find Hyde pointing at the ham he'd pushed aside. "No," he said, and Hyde greedily dug in. Looking at the pieces of melon Hyde had left over, he added, "You gonna eat that melon, shit rat?"  
  
Hyde grinned. "Do you want it?"  
  
Licht extended a hand. "I gave you my ham. Give me the melon."  
  
"Okay, okay! Man, you really love your melon, do you, Angel-chan?"  
  
Under normal circumstances Licht would have snapped at him for that comment, but the melon was more important. Reaching over, he piled the sweet, delicious-smelling pieces on his own plate and dug in. Delicious. Simply delicious. This had to be one of the best melons he'd ever tasted. So sweet, so rich, so juicy... It was so good he couldn't help smiling as he chewed.  
  
Licht closed his eyes and swallowed, ready to take another big bite when he noticed Hyde had stopped eating. Instead his classmate's gaze was resting on him, his expression strangely thoughtful.  
  
Licht paused, giving him a sharp look. "What?"  
  
"Oh," Hyde replied, his expression almost shifting back to normal, "I was just thinking."  
  
Under normal circumstances Licht would have remarked that any sentence containing both "Hyde" and "thinking" was bound to be an oxymoron, but something about his face put him off. Hyde still looked strangely serene, almost a little dreamy. Wistful, perhaps. Licht didn't mind being looked at like that, he realized; he rather liked it, actually. There was something strangely quiet and musical to that look, something that created a resonance somewhere in Licht's own chest, although he couldn't put a name on it.  
  
"Since it's just you and me now," Hyde continued, "why don't we go over the festival by ourselves, Angel-chan? Just you and me?"  
  
The way he said it should be irritating.  
  
Licht knew he should get angry and try to kick him for the suggestion, but for some reason he didn't feel angry at all. The suggestion almost felt natural.  
  
Maybe it was natural. They were almost always together after all, whether they wanted it or not.  
  
"Only 'cause we don't have a choice," he grumbled awkwardly, just as an uninvited blush spread over his cheeks for a reason he didn't fully understand. "But you have to buy me a crêpe, got it, shit rat?"  
  
Strangely enough, Hyde didn't protest or call him spoiled. Grinning half-smugly, he looked around, trying to spot a crêpe stall nearby. Then he grabbed Licht's hand and started pulling him into a random direction.  
  
"Hey!" Licht protested. "Don't get clingy, you ass!"  
  
"Geez, you're so prickly!" Hyde pouted, but he didn't let go. "Would you rather tie our shoelaces together so we don't lose each other in the crowd, Angel-chan?"  
  
Licht looked down at his boots and wanted to remark that he didn't even have shoelaces, but for some reason it didn't seem important. What was important was the festival, the lights, the scents. Hyde's hand pulling him along from light to light and scent to scent.  
  
It wasn't every day that he got to see a Japanese festival from up close, after all.  
  
\---  
  
"Psst! Sakuya, Sakuya!"  
  
Sakuya adjusted his mask and turned, trying to make out which one of the masked, costumed, awfully conspicuous figures was Tsubaki. His eyes finally settled on the second shortest. They had three short people in the group, and Lilac and Otogiri could easily be recognized by their body language (in Lilac's case) or their curves (in Otogiri's case). Tsubaki, however, was a few feet away from the group and excitedly motioning him over to a small shooting gallery, pointing at the prizes. "Which one should I win for you?"  
  
Sakuya shrugged. "I don't care."  
  
"Sakuya, don't ruin the fun! What do you want? The action figurine? The teddy bear?"  
  
Sakuya sighed and grimaced at the embarrassingly cheesy prizes. "I really don't care. They all seem lame."  
  
Tsubaki's shoulders dropped a little, slumping with disappointment. "You're no fun, Sakuya," he complained. "Why did you go to this festival when you're not having fun at all?"  
  
Sakuya squirmed uncomfortably. Tsubaki had a point. He'd been looking forward to tonight, but the others were still a ridiculous bunch to hang out with, and right now he wasn't really enjoying himself. Mostly he wanted a little break until the gang had calmed down enough to become bearable again.  
  
"Go take your pick if you really want to win one," he said. "I'm a bit tired, Tsubaki-san."  
  
"Tired?" Tsubaki turned around, the voice behind his mask full of concern. "Do you need anything, Sakuya? Something to eat? Something to drink? A futon to sleep on?"  
  
"No thanks," Sakuya replied, although he couldn't help grinning a little at the image of himself sleeping on a futon in the middle of a festival, dressed in this ridiculous costume. "I'll just sit down somewhere quiet for a little."  
  
Tsubaki didn't reply, but even through the mask Sakuya could tell he was a little disappointed with that response. Sighing, he gestured at the display of prizes and pointed at the video game advertised as the main prize in the middle. "You can win me that game if you want."  
  
Tsubaki's face lit up. Walking up to the stall, he paid the small fee and took the toy gun in his hands, aiming. Then he shot. And missed.  
  
Tsubaki aimed, shot, and missed again, then repeated the procedure a third time.  
  
"Don't worry, Sakuya!" he said when Sakuya gave him an unamused look. "I still have two more shots, I'll definitely win that game for you!"  
  
Sakuya wanted to tell him that it wasn't that urgent, but Tsubaki already took aim again and shot. He missed again, mumbled "Boring," and aimed for the last deciding shot.  
  
Only to knock a fox plushie off the shelf.  
  
The vendor handed him the plush, but Tsubaki didn't want it. Sulking, he slunk around the corner and sat down in the shadows, turning his back on everyone. "Sorry, Sakuya," he mumbled gravely. "Something must have been off with the toy gun... I was betrayed!"  
  
Sakuya looked back and forth between Tsubaki and the poor vendor and sighed. This wasn't how he'd hoped tonight would go. And yet he wasn't the slightest bit surprised.  
  
Well, that poor stuffed fox did look rather cute. He supposed he could still accept the gift.  
  
Walking over to the vendor, he muttered an apology for Tsubaki's behavior and picked up the plush in his hands. It was soft and fluffy and somehow managed to look both amused and friendly at the same time; for some reason Sakuya couldn't help thinking its expression reminded him of a certain someone.  
  
"Hey, Tsubaki-san," he said, shoving the fox in his face. "Don't sulk on the ground. Someone's here to see you."  
  
Tsubaki turned away. "But Sakuya, I didn't win the game..."  
  
"It's okay. It's not like I wanted it that badly." Sakuya shrugged, gazing off into the distance in slight embarrassment. "I just said that because you insisted on winning me something. And now you did." He held the fox in both hands. "It looks a bit like you, don't you think?"  
  
Tsubaki burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed until Sakuya was sure he'd end with another "Boring," but then he abruptly stopped, gaping at Sakuya in such obvious embarrassment that it gaped right through his mask. "You think so?"  
  
He looked so hilariously puzzled that it was Sakuya's turn to start laughing.  
  
"Yes," he said. "I think I'll name him Tsubaki-san too."  
  
\---  
  
The crowd had parted a little. This part of the festival was further away from the entrance, quieter and not as overrun yet. Kuro and Mahiru could walk with a little more space between them now without having to worry about losing each other, but for some reason Mahiru was still as close to Kuro's side as before, brown eyes reflecting the illuminated street as his gaze roamed from stall to stall.  
  
They had bought a box of takoyaki at one of the stalls earlier and eaten its contents on the way– that is, Mahiru had bought the food and Kuro had eaten most of it, thanks to Mahiru's insistence that he wasn't that hungry yet. Kuro still felt a little bad. It was still Mahiru's birthday, why was he the one paying for the food? Especially to share it with someone who didn't even have a present for him?  
  
 _A present..._ Kuro rested his eyes on Mahiru's face, questioning. Mahiru had promised to ask for a birthday present from him, so why hadn't he said anything yet? Could he not think of anything? There had to be something, right? Should Kuro ask him or would that be nagging?  
  
Before he could open his mouth Mahiru stopped, his eyes resting on one particular stall. "Hey," he said, pointing, "isn't that the girl from the café at the school festival?"  
  
Kuro followed his gaze to a little girl who really did seem awfully familiar. She was standing at a goldfish catching booth, a torn net in hand, her shoulders slumping down in disappointment and defeat.  
  
"Well," the vendor said to her, "if you want another try you just gotta buy a new net, missy."  
  
She searched through her pockets, pulling out all the coins she could find and stacking them in front of the man, one by one. "Here," she said. "Is this enough for another try?"  
  
"Just barely." The man gathered up the coins and handed her a new net. "Don't look so down, gal! Sometimes people get lucky on their last try."  
  
She nodded, but Kuro could see how tense she was. He looked at the small heap of torn nets next to her and knew she'd never be able to catch a goldfish in this state. It wasn't possible.  
  
His legs moved on his own. Before he could even think about what he was doing he walked over to the booth, coming to stand behind the little girl. "Hey, gimme the net," he said. "I'm gonna catch you a goldfish."  
  
The girl turned around, and her surprise quickly vanished as recognition spread over her face, her eyes lighting up with joy. "It's Mr. Panda!" she cheered. "It's so nice to see you again, Mr. Panda! Are you off duty? Are you really going to catch me a fish?"  
  
Kuro made the panda pose. "Yup."  
  
She beamed, handing him the net with the brightest of smiles. "Good luck, Mr. Panda! You can do it!"  
  
Kuro took the net, slightly uncomfortable with her sparkling expectant eyes resting on him. What had he just pulled himself into? He couldn't disappoint this girl now. Why had he even felt the urge to help in the first place? He could have just passed her and left her to her own devices without any problems.  
  
But he wanted to help. He wanted to see her happy, because she had made him happy too, all those months ago.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he knelt down and zoned in on the goldfish swimming in the shallow water, focusing on their movements, waiting for the right moment. His whole body was ready to pounce. Just a little more... a second...  
  
Now.  
  
Darting forward, he shot his net through the water and flipped out a goldfish.  
  
The vendor gaped at him. The girl beamed. Kuro turned over his shoulder to give her a triumphant look. "There ya go."  
  
"Thank you!" the girl burst out, tackling him with a hug that almost knocked him over. "Thanks so much, Mr. Panda! You're the best! I'll take super good care of him now!" She momentarily let go of Kuro to grab the fish the vendor was presenting to her in a water-filled paper bag, holding it like a treasure. "I'll call him Panda, okay?"  
  
Kuro averted his gaze, blushing. "Can't deal."  
  
"And I'll teach him the secret panda greeting!" The girl did the panda pose, goldfish bag still in one hand. "Like this, right?"  
  
"Yup." Kuro imitated the pose. "Have fun."  
  
"You too, Mr. Panda! Visit us sometime!" Still smiling, the girl hurried back to a young woman walking up to her, calling her name. "Bye!"  
  
Kuro gazed after her, feeling strangely warm. She turned back as she walked and did the panda greeting, and Kuro returned it again, watching her until she and the woman turned around a corner and disappeared.  
  
Shifting his gaze back to his surroundings, Kuro noticed Mahiru's gaze resting on him with a proud smile.  
  
"W-What?" he asked, his face heating up.  
  
"You really are good with kids." Mahiru laughed, pulling him up to his feet. "And you're happy too, right?"  
  
Kuro shifted awkwardly. Mahiru was right, of course. He was happy to have met this little girl again and done her such a big favor, but it still felt awfully embarrassing. He wasn't used to being happy. He especially wasn't used to _admitting_ he was happy. It wasn't an emotion he was used to feeling or showing a lot yet, somehow.  
  
"...kinda," he mumbled in the direction of the ground. "What a pain."  
  
"That's great!"  
  
Kuro looked up to find Mahiru smiling back at him, beaming as if he was trying to express enough happiness for both of them. "I'm glad you're happy," he said. "Seeing you happy makes me happy too, you know? I just..." He scratched the back of his neck, blushing and grinning nervously. "I just wish I could see it more often," he admitted. "You feeling happy. You showing your happiness, sometimes."  
  
Kuro looked at his feet. "I... It's not really my thing. This happiness stuff."  
  
"It can become your thing," Mahiru replied. "Thinking simply, you just have to get used to it, right?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Kuro... Let me make a selfish request." Mahiru placed his hands on Kuro's shoulders, and Kuro lifted his gaze to look right into those soulful brown eyes that looked back at him with hope and a hint of insecurity. "You said I could ask something from you for my birthday, right? So, well..." He blushed slightly. "As a birthday present... Can you show me your smile?"  
  
Kuro blinked. For a moment he wondered if he'd heard him right, if he might have misheard. No, it wasn't possible. He had heard Mahiru loud and clear.  
  
Then the sentence sunk in, and panic rose within him. His smile? He had never smiled in front of everyone, not willingly or consciously and definitely never on purpose. He didn't like his smile. He wasn't even sure he knew how to smile after all these years. He'd never had to use that expression much.  
  
And yet Mahiru wanted to see it? It was bound to be a disappointment.  
  
"Mahiru..." he mumbled, averting his gaze, "are you sure?"  
  
The brown eyes resting on his face didn't falter. "Why shouldn't I be?"  
  
"I'm... not a smiler." Kuro shrugged, trying to brush off his insecurity with a casual remark. "My smile might look like I'm out to kill Batman, y'know."  
  
Mahiru laughed. "I still want to see it," he said softly. "If it's your smile, it can't look that bad!"  
  
"I..." Crap, he was starting to panic. This was too sudden for him, too strange. His heart was fluttering in his chest, panicked and insecure. He couldn't smile like this. He couldn't... he needed time!  
  
"You don't have to do it now." Smiling gently, Mahiru let go of his shoulders, starting to stroll down the street as Kuro fell into stride next to him. "Just do it when you feel ready, okay? I won't pressure you."  
  
Kuro nodded and followed Mahiru over the festival while they tried their hands at games and munched their way through every kind of food they found, but the bright feeling from earlier was gone. He couldn't focus on the beauty of the festival anymore. The only thing his thoughts circled around was the present Mahiru had asked from him.  
  
He barely noticed the passage of time until Mahiru stopped and looked at his phone, a shout of surprise escaping his lips. "Whoa!" he burst out. "It's almost time for the fireworks, all the others are already up on the hill! Let's hurry, Kuro, or we won't make it in time!"  
  
Side by side they ran through the crowded street, past brightly-lit stalls, colorful costumes and unfamiliar faces until they reached the edge of a grassy hill, a hill where Kuro spotted the rest of the group, standing and waiting for them. Picking up their pace, he and Mahiru ran up to them, coming to a stop just as the first firework exploded over the city, lighting it up in bright colors.  
  
Mahiru let out a breath of relief, resting his hands on his knees. "Whew!" He laughed. "That was close, huh?"  
  
Kuro looked down at him. He looked at his face that looked so friendly and soft in the light, the relieved, honest smile spread all over his face, his warm brown eyes reflecting the alternating colors of the fireworks. He watched as Mahiru straightened up again, coming to stand right by his side, so close their fingers were brushing against each other. It was a beautiful sight. The fireworks, the stars, the distant city lights, the colorful lamps from the festival. And Mahiru. Mahiru standing right here made everything even more beautiful.  
  
It felt so right.  
  
Kuro didn't think about what he was doing when he reached around Mahiru and draped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to his side. Mahiru blinked up at him in surprise, then he returned the gesture, his arm wrapping around Kuro's back to rest a hand on his shoulder.  
  
From the corner of his eye Kuro saw the others looking at them and knew they'd tease him later, but he didn't care anymore. Being with Mahiru made him happy. He didn't want to hide that. If that was love, then so be it; either way this feeling was part of him, and he didn't want to lock it up again, ever.  
  
Mahiru's gaze met his. And as if he'd never done anything else, as if this was the most natural thing in the world, Kuro smiled.  
  
"Happy birthday, Mahiru."  
  
\---  
  
Tetsu couldn't focus on the fireworks. They were beautiful, of course. When he was a child he had loved them more than anything, gazing up at them for what felt like hours on end, enchanted. But right now they didn't seem all that amazing. They were still pretty, but they paled in comparison to the beauty that was standing right next to him.  
  
Misono was gorgeous in every way, shape or form. He was the most beautiful human being Tetsu had ever met, but right now he was more than that. Right now he was ethereal, like a fairy prince from a forgotten legend, his pale skin glowing softly in the light, the sparkles of the fireworks reflected in the purple of his eyes as he gazed at the sky, his expression dreamy. A slight smile crossed his face, and Tetsu's heart skipped a beat.  
  
What was this feeling? Why did his heart always flutter when he saw Misono? Why was he always so happy to see him, why did he look forward to seeing him so much? He wanted to spend so much time with him, look at his beautiful face, talk to him, hold his hand. He was drawn to him, drawn to this small, deceptively fragile boy that was already more of an adult than Tetsu ever hoped to be, and he didn't know what to do about it.  
  
He wished there was a word for it. A name... something, anything to explain this feeling.  
  
Misono must have seen something in the fireworks, because he smiled, and Tetsu's world stopped spinning. Time stood still. He couldn't think, he couldn't move. All he could do was stare at this smile, this wonderful, beautiful smile that he wanted to engrave into his mind and treasure forever.  
  
He wanted to see this smile more. He wanted to see Misono smile at him like that, look at him the way he was looking at these fireworks, amazed and thoughtful and happy. He wanted to look into those eyes and see fireworks in them, even when it was bright daylight and the festival was long over. He wanted Misono to be happy with him, as happy as he was with Misono, so they could walk side by side and spend every single day together and still feel as enchanted as Tetsu was feeling now. He...  
  
He knew a word for that. He knew a name for this feeling.  
  
"I think I like you."


	32. Before Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Was this a step forward or a step back...?"

"I think I like you."  
  
Misono froze. The world went silent. Somewhere in the distance more fireworks exploded, but he couldn't hear them over the pounding of his heart.  
  
Inch by inch, he turned. Turned and looked right into Sendagaya's eyes, those familiar blue eyes that looked so wide now, as if he had only just realized what he said himself, the full meaning of his words dawning on him like the blush beginning to cover his face.  
  
And then it kicked in. Every single word.  
  
"W-Wha?!" he burst out as his face caught fire, burning hotter than a thousand suns, his heart doing somersaults in his chest. "Wh-Wha-What are you s-saying, Sendagaya, you bastard?"  
  
Sendagaya blinked as if he had just woken up from a trance, looking puzzled and slightly embarrassed but not at all like he regretted saying those words. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to startle ya."  
  
"I– Then– Then d-don't say such stupid things out of the blue without warning, you utter imbecile! What are you talking about?" Misono tried to continue, but the words were stuck in his throat, and he had to cough a few times before he could finally croak them out, blushing from head to toe. "W-W-What do you mean, you like me?"  
  
Sendagaya tilted his head to the side in puzzlement. "I mean what I said."  
  
He looked so calm, so casual, so stupidly, irritatingly nonchalant that Misono couldn't help feeling like an utter idiot. Of course he meant platonically, he realized. There was no way even Sendagaya would so casually confess to _that_ kind of like.  
  
"Oh," he said, hoping and praying that he didn't look too as completely moronic as he felt. "W-Well, in that case, o-of course I like you too, Sendagaya!"  
  
Sendagaya's eyes lit up with bright, shining hope. "Really?"  
  
This look on his face... Why did it feel strange? Why did it feel like he meant _that_ kind of like after all?  
  
"M-Most certainly!" Misono declared, trying to sound every bit as confident as he wasn't feeling. "You're a very treasured friend of mine, I don't see a single reason why I shouldn't like you!"  
  
"...oh."  
  
The word was so small and quiet Misono almost didn't catch it over the crackle of the fireworks. His voice, his whole expression seemed so quiet, so fragile and vulnerable that Misono wished he had never said anything, wished he had kept his mouth shut or not even responded to his confession or never come to this festival in the first place.  
  
"Sendagaya," he began, "I–"  
  
"It's okay. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I should've said it differently." Sendagaya straightened up, blue eyes fixing Misono's with their gaze, bright with determination and honesty and not dulled by a single regret. "I mean I like you as more than a friend. I, uh..." He paused, searching for the word. "I've got a crush on you, Misono-senpai."  
  
Something in Misono's carefully constructed world cracked and tumbled to the ground.  
  
His mind was frozen. His body was numb. He felt everything and nothing at the same time. The world around him swayed and tilted. The ground was quicksand under his feet.  
  
He stumbled back, gasping a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Suddenly everything seemed too real. He felt like he had woken up from a nightmare, breathless and drenched in sweat, his heart racing in his chest at a thousand miles a minute.  
  
What was this feeling?  
  
Sendagaya had feelings for him. He had confessed to him. Sendagaya Tetsu had a crush on him, and Misono didn't know what to do, what to feel.  
  
He had to respond, he knew that. He had to say something. Sendagaya expected an answer. Anyone would expect an answer after saying something like this. But what should he say? He didn't know what to reply! He couldn't accept his feelings. But he couldn't reject him either. He wasn't prepared for this. He had never expected anyone to fall in love with him, much less one of his closest friends.  
  
_What should he do? What should he do? What should he do?_  
  
He didn't know. He didn't know what to do. He didn't understand anything. He wished he could tell him the truth, but what was the truth? What were his own feelings? What was this burning, dizzying hurricane spinning round and round in his chest and mind?  
  
“I–" he stuttered out, forcing himself to stay in place and resist the urge to run, run down the hill and away from here and never come back. "S-Sendagaya– I–"  
  
"Hey, it's okay."  
  
Misono fell silent. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sendagaya again, look into his eyes or see his expression and know what he was feeling, know it for a fact, without any possibility to deny it to himself. It was not okay. It wasn't even the slightest bit okay, and Sendagaya knew that too. He had to know. It had to hurt him, but Misono didn't want to give up this tiny sliver of hope that it didn't, that against all odds he was fine after all, because he was Sendagaya Tetsu, and nothing could hurt him.  
  
"It's okay," Sendagaya said again, his voice soft and gentle. "I don't expect you to answer right now. Just wanted to let you know."  
  
If he kept talking like that, Misono might almost believe it. But he couldn't, not when Sendagaya was standing in front of him sounding like this, so fragile and vulnerable and unlike himself, still a child trying to figure out his first innocent crush.  
  
"I-I'm sorry," Misono said, clenching his fists, forcing his voice to sound at least somewhat steady. "I know I should respond to you right now, Sendagaya. I'm sorry I can't."  
  
_Not now. Maybe not ever._  
  
Sendagaya didn't say anything, and Misono turned and ran. He ran and ran and ran down the hill and through the streets, ignoring the way his legs stumbled and his lungs gasped for air, and he didn't look back or slow down until he finally collapsed on his doorstep.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stared up at Kuro in a daze. He forgot how to think. He forgot how to move, how to breathe.  
  
Kuro was smiling. Really, actually smiling. He was smiling down at him, and it was the most beautiful sight Mahiru had ever seen.  
  
He was adorable. His smile was adorable. Kuro's smile was soft and gentle and affectionate and a little shy, but his eyes were filled with warmth, the bright sparks of the fireworks reflecting in the red, shining and dancing like the atmosphere around them. The arm around his shoulders felt warm. Kuro's side against his, Kuro's back against his hold felt even warmer, his heartbeat pounding in the same rhythm as Mahiru's as time stood still around them.  
  
Mahiru had no words. He had no words to describe this, this sight, this feeling, these thousands of different sensations dancing around in his whole body like fireflies in the night air.  
  
"Kuro..." he whispered. "You..."  
  
Kuro blinked. A blush crossed his face as he realized what he was doing, bringing up a hand to cover his face. Mahiru caught his wrist and pushed it back down. "Your smile's beautiful."  
  
Kuro looked down at him, wide-eyed and surprised, then he turned his head away, blushing even redder. "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru blushed too, even as he laughed. Kuro's embarrassed face was cute too, even if it could never match the smile that had sadly faded from his face. He looked so adorably awkward and flustered that Mahiru couldn't resist the urge to compliment him some more, just to see more of that adorably innocent expression.  
  
"It's true," he said, grinning. "Your smile is gorgeous, it's such a waste that you never smile! You should do that more often, trust me. People will like you more if you do." His smile softened. "You have such a nice face, Kuro. Why are you trying so hard to keep it blank? I bet if you tried to emote more it'd be even nicer. Like right now. You..." Crap, he couldn't go on after all. He had meant to say that Kuro's face was adorable, but that was too embarrassing. "You... I... I-I think your blushing face... it's pretty cute."  
  
Kuro blushed furiously, the color of his face matching his eyes as he hurried to cover as much of it as he could with one hand. Mahiru blushed too, but Kuro's face was worth it. He was so, so cute. Every hint of emotion on his usually blank face made his heart swell, and this open blush was downright adorable. Mahiru resisted the urge to laugh and reach up and ruffle his hair and rest their foreheads together, or maybe tackle him with a hug and cuddle him for the rest of the evening.  
  
"What a pain," Kuro mumbled against his hand. "You're so corny, Mahiru."  
  
"Sh-Shut up!" Mahiru turned as red as Kuro was. "I was just being honest with you! Way to ruin the moment, geez!"  
  
Some of the red faded from Kuro's face as he relaxed the tiniest bit. "Cheesy."  
  
"Mood killer!" Mahiru shot back, throwing a mock punch. But truth be told he couldn't really feel angry, not with that mischievous glint twinkling in Kuro's eyes, not with the way his friend looked relieved to be back to normal even as he still seemed flustered. Mahiru sighed and leaned against him again. "You never change, do you?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Not if I can help it. Changing's so much work."  
  
"And you're so lazy." Mahiru meant to sound strict, but he couldn't stop the grin that forced its way on his face. _But it's okay,_ he thought. _I don't want you to change, Kuro. You're great as you are._  
  
A startled yelp made them both turn around. A little way off they saw Misono, right across from Tetsu, blushing like mad and stuttering something Mahiru couldn't catch. He turned back with a smile. This was their usual routine; Tetsu would say something thoughtless but sweet, and Misono would get flustered but feel happy anyway. Nothing to worry about.  
  
He kept thinking that until the sound of footsteps hurried down the hill, and Misono disappeared into the crowded street, leaving a confused Tetsu behind.  
  
\---  
  
Misono stumbled and collapsed on the floor, propping himself up with his arms, gasping for air. His lungs felt so tight they might burst. He gasped and coughed and panted, desperate to suck in as much air as he could, his whole body shaking and trembling from exhaustion and the lack of oxygen. His legs had given way already. His arms felt like they might follow. He sat on the floor, heart racing, hyperventilating, shaky and dizzy as he waited for his body to calm down.  
  
The trembling and hyperventilating passed. His rough gasps turned into wheezes and coughs, his lungs relaxed, and after one last coughing fit and a few tries to clear his throat he could breathe normally again. What stayed was the exhaustion and dizziness, the pounding of his heart that kept him wide awake even if he was spent and it was way past his bedtime.  
  
Sendagaya liked him. Sendagaya had confessed to him. Sendagaya Tetsu had told him he was in love with him, and Misono had no idea how to handle it all. He had never thought about the possibility. He had never been in love before. How did it feel like? How would he know if he liked Sendagaya back? He didn't know. He couldn't tell. He had never been good with feelings, not his own and not other people's. He didn't understand.  
  
What was love? Was what he felt for Sendagaya love? It was strong friendship, that was for sure. He liked the first-year a lot, he enjoyed spending time with him and talking to him and he couldn't remember a single time he hadn't been happy to see him. The tall, simple-minded boy had quickly grown on him, and he appreciated his honesty and his innate ability to find everything impressive and his kind, generous nature. He found him rather handsome too, he realized, although of course he'd never admit that out loud. And he was often flustered by him, the things he did or said, every casual display of friendship or affection or even interest that seemed to come so naturally to Sendagaya.  
  
Was that love? He had always thought he would know when he fell in love. He had always thought it was an obvious, easily recognizable feeling. But he had never even thought about being in love with Sendagaya. Did that mean he didn't return his feelings?  
  
Did he want to?  
  
Misono raked his hands through his hair. Was that it? Did he want to return Sendagaya's feelings and fall in love with him? He wanted him to be happy, of course. He didn't want to hurt him or break his heart. But did that mean he wanted to fall in love with him too, date him, do all the things couples did?  
  
An embarrassed blush spread all over his face, his cheeks burning like they were on fire. He couldn't picture that. He couldn't imagine it. He and Sendagaya, a couple... no. He couldn't see it. It was completely ridiculous! He had never thought of them as anything more than good friends!  
  
How had this happened? How had it come to this?  
  
He didn't know. He didn't understand. He wished it hadn't ended that way, with a confession and panic and running away. Sendagaya's face appeared in his mind, helpless and vulnerable, and he gritted his teeth. That look had ingrained itself into his memory, tearing at his heartstrings, slowly pulling and twisting him apart from the inside. What had he done? He had hurt his friend. He had made him unhappy. This was all his fault.  
  
He couldn't face him like that. Not when he was like this, a coward who didn't understand his own feelings and hurt others for it. Not when he had brought such disappointment to Sendagaya. He had to figure things out before he could look him in the eyes again. Find out what he felt, what he should say. Until then, it was probably better to distance himself. It was the best for both of them.  
  
He knew that. And yet, when he thought of avoiding Sendagaya Tetsu for an indefinite amount of time, he couldn't stop the strange twisting feeling clutching at his heart.  
  
\---  
  
"Big brother, big brother!"  
  
Kuro blinked and glanced up as an arm looped around his shoulders, a familiar voice whispering in his ear. He turned around to find Hyde grinning deviously back at him, giving him a wink. "I saw you arm in arm with Mahiru-kun earlier," he whispered. "So, what happened? Did you get any closer? Did you confess your feelings?"  
  
"Feelings? Nah." Kuro shrugged. "Just wished him a happy birthday and stuff. And gave him his birthday present." He didn't mention what it was. Hyde was teasing him enough already.  
  
Red eyes looked at him in confusion. "You're not blushing and denying you have feelings?" Hyde asked, surprised. Then a grin spread over his face. "Don't tell me... you actually accepted you're in love, big brother?"  
  
"Dunno. Maybe." Kuro gave another calm shrug. "I don't care."  
  
Hyde gaped at him in complete incomprehension. "You don't care... if you're in love...?!"  
  
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Doesn't really matter." Kuro stepped away from Hyde's arm, hands in his pockets. "I dunno what it is, but my feelings are my feelings and I don't care about names for them. Doesn't make them more or less real." He sighed. "What a pain."  
  
Hyde gazed after him as he walked away and joined Mahiru again, walking as close to him as he ever had, perfectly casual and without the awkwardness that had accompanied his movements for the past few days. Kuro really didn't care, Hyde realized. It wasn't that he had accepted his feelings. In fact, Hyde wasn't sure if this uncaring attitude wasn't just another stage of denial, but at least he wasn't fretting anymore. Whatever his feelings turned out to be, Hyde could only hope he'd embrace them.  
  
"Big brother..." he mumbled with an awkward half-smile. "Was this a step forward or a step back...?"  
  
\---  
  
Lily knocked on the door, a worried frown on his face. He had hurried all the way here, only to find himself standing at closed doors, locked out of the room he had always freely passed in and out of. He didn't know what had happened, but he knew it had to be bad if it led to this.  
  
"Misono?" he called softly. "Misono, may I come in?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Lily frowned, sighed and knocked again. "Misono, are you all right?"  
  
The room was silent for another moment, then Misono's voice spoke, quiet and strained and broken, somehow. "Go away."  
  
Lily paused. He had never heard Misono like this before. He didn't just sound sad or tired or angry. He sounded worn out and distressed at the same time, helpless and hurt and anxious and not like himself at all. Tired yet restless, angry, somehow. Frantic but resigned.  
  
"What happened?" he asked gently. "Is something wrong, Misono? Are you not feeling well? Do you need anything?"  
  
"Just leave me alone!"  
  
Lily opened his mouth to reply, then he closed it again. Misono sounded completely out of it, but he didn't seem ill. If he was, he would already have started making demands. No, something else must have happened, and Lily could only guess what it was. Misono probably wouldn't tell him even if he tried asking again.  
  
"Alright then," he said slowly. "If you need anything, please feel free to call me anytime, okay?"  
  
Misono didn't answer. Lily lingered at the door for a bit longer, then he turned with a sigh and slowly started walking back through the spacious corridors he knew like the back of his hand.  
  
He didn't know what was happening. He didn't know what to do. For all their lives he and Misono had been together, and for all their lives Misono had always trusted him unconditionally. No matter how many times he had yelled at him and insulted him for saying silly things or trying to strip, in the end Misono had always relied on him when he needed something, help or advice or even just the completion of a mundane task he couldn't do himself. They were like brothers; they had shared everything, and Lily had always known what was going on in Misono's head.  
  
But not now. Now something had happened and Misono wouldn't tell him. Misono wouldn't accept his help. And Lily couldn't do anything, not like this, not without knowing what was going on and what he could do. All he could do was stand by and watch and hope he'd find out eventually and things would turn out alright.  
  
_Please tell me, Misono. Haven't you always trusted me with everything?_  
  
\---  
  
They hadn't talked since yesterday.  
  
Tetsu didn't want to worry or let it get him down, but he couldn't say he liked this strange kind of silence. Of course he didn't expect Misono to respond to his confession right away. He didn't know if he wanted him to respond at all; honestly he had just been glad to have told him, that he knew it now and he wouldn't have to hide it. The largest part of him still was.  
  
But the other part, and this part was ever-growing, wasn't happy with this at all. He missed Misono. It had been one day and he missed him already, missed hanging out with him and spending time together and talking to him and observing his thousands of reactions and listening to all the clever things he knew and said. Just yesterday they had walked over the festival and held hands. Today Misono was avoiding him, running off whenever he saw him and mumbling some kind of excuse about having to go somewhere very fast. Tetsu didn't want to let it get to him, but... it did hurt him.  
  
And some part of him, some deep, dark part of his soul that he didn't want to see or hear, couldn't help whispering the same question over and over.  
  
If he hadn't blurted out his feelings, would they still be the way they'd been before?  
  
He didn't want to think about it. It wasn't like he'd figure it out, anyway; thinking had never been his forte, and he'd never had to think about feelings and love and all the other confusing things before. He had always just known what he felt and been honest about that and that had been the end of it. But now it wasn't all. Now he had Misono's feelings to consider too, and he didn't understand them at all. Misono was an adult. Tetsu couldn't tell how he thought and felt at all.  
  
But there was one thing he could tell. He missed him. A lot.  
  
He wanted the old Misono back, the one who'd yell at him all the time and who'd blush and stutter when he did something too forward and who'd call him names sometimes, especially when he was flustered. He wanted the Misono back who actually talked to him, spent time with him instead of trying to ignore him or hurrying off whenever Tetsu came into his vicinity. Even if his feelings were one-sided... even if they could never be more than the friends they'd been up until now, he wouldn't mind. He just wanted to keep spending time with Misono. He wouldn't even ask for the rest.  
  
He just didn't want _this_. Everything... but not this awkward silence.  
  
Tetsu sighed and closed his eyes for a second. His body felt strangely heavy. His heart felt even heavier in his chest. He wasn't usually one for bad feelings, and he rarely let bad things get to him for long.  
  
But this did hurt a little.  
  
\---  
  
"Misono... Misono, did anything happen between you and Tetsu-kun at the festival?"  
  
Misono froze. His mind went blank. A chill went down his spine. He'd been dreading that question all day, and now he couldn't avoid it anymore.  
  
Swallowing hard, he turned towards Lily, forcing his face to look as calm and unfazed as possible, trying to suppress the violent blush that was attempting to force its way onto his face. "What do you mean?"  
  
"It's only a thought," Lily replied, and to Misono's surprise he wasn't smiling or chuckling, and he didn't tease him about whatever expression he had to be wearing right now. "Yesterday you ran off and wouldn't tell me what was the matter, and today you've been avoiding Tetsu-kun all day, so..." He frowned. "Did anything happen? Did you have a fight?"  
  
_I wish it was that easy,_ Misono thought grimly. "Something like that," he said aloud.  
  
Lily nodded slowly. "I see."  
  
Misono said nothing and hoped that was the end of the conversation.  
  
But his hope was in vain. Lily didn't respond for a minute, but he didn't leave, and after a long, suffocating silence he finally spoke up again. "If you two had a fight, shouldn't you talk to him and make up?"  
  
Misono swallowed again. _I wish we could,_ he thought. He really wished it was that simple, that he could simply go up to Sendagaya and clear everything up. But how should he talk to him when he didn't even know what to say? He didn't understand what he wanted. Until he knew that there was no way he could speak to Sendagaya again.  
  
"I... can't do that," he said quietly, careful not to let his voice betray his own feelings. "I can't face Sendagaya right now. I still need time... to sort everything out with myself before I can speak to him again."  
  
"I don't think Tetsu-kun would mind if you approached him."  
  
Misono blinked. His heart skipped a beat. "What do you–"  
  
"Tetsu-kun is very kind." Lily smiled gently. "No matter what happened between you two or what you fought about, I'm very sure he has long forgiven you. Tetsu-kun isn't the type to hold grudges, after all." His gaze softened. "And besides, he likes you very much, you know?"  
  
_I know,_ Misono thought, gritting his teeth.  _I know. I know that!_  
  
His chest felt tight. His heart felt heavy. He didn't want to talk about Sendagaya for another second. He didn't want to think about him. He wished he could just forget everything that had happened since yesterday and go back to normal and pretend they were just friends, with no crushes or confusion or messy romantic feelings to get between them.  
  
But he couldn't.  
  
Without saying another word, Misono clenched his fists, turned on his heel and walked out. Lily stayed behind, looking like he wanted to call out to him yet staying silent and gazing at his retreating back as he walked away.  
  
\---  
  
"Tetsu? Are you listening, old friend?"  
  
"Huh? Ah, sorry." Blinking, Tetsu shook off his thoughts and turned back to Hugh sitting in front of him and looking at him with a telltale frown on his face. "What were you saying again?"  
  
Hugh crossed his legs and adjusted his monocle. "I said," he repeated, "that you have seemed rather off all day today. Are you ill, Tetsu? Or is there something troubling your mind?"  
  
"Ah, that... Was it that obvious?" Tetsu rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed gesture. "Uh, sorry. Not really good at hiding that stuff. I'm fine, I guess. Just... thinking about a bunch of things." He paused, debating whether to tell Hugh about what was troubling him. Hugh always knew everything; he'd definitely be able to give him advice, advice that he badly needed. But this was different from everything he had ever asked about. For some reason he felt like this was something between him and Misono; pulling other people into it felt strange, even if it was his best friend.  
  
Hugh's eyes still rested on him, expectant and knowing, somehow, silently encouraging him to go on. Tetsu shifted in his chair. Hugh would definitely know what to say and do. He might not be able to save him from his loneliness, but he'd definitely clear up his uncertainty.  
  
Alright. He'd tell him. It wasn't really his style to keep secrets, anyway.  
  
"You know," he said, "it's just... I kinda confessed to Misono-senpai at the fireworks yesterday."  
  
Hugh's mouth dropped open. "You what?"  
  
"Out of the blue, huh? I dunno, I just kinda blurted it out. But yeah." Tetsu turned to gaze out the window, watching the sunlight play with the leaves of the nearest tree. "I told him I have a crush on him."  
  
Hugh was silent for a moment. Then a small hand reached for Tetsu's shirt and yanked him back to face his friend again.  
  
"And then? What did he respond? Did he accept your feelings? Did he reject you?" Hugh looked up at him with the shiny eyes of a dedicated gossip. "Tell me everything!"  
  
Tetsu shrugged. "I'm not sure what happened, actually. I told him he didn't have to reply right now but he still got nervous... okay, more like freaked out. He said he can't reply to me right now and apologized and ran away." He sighed. "And now he's like this. Dunno."  
  
Hugh frowned, gazing up at Tetsu's face for a long moment, deep in thought. "That is a rather curious development indeed."  
  
Tetsu gave him a helpless look. "What do you think?"  
  
"I think he might be overwhelmed," Hugh said slowly. "Fear not! I am most certain he will find the right answer to say to you soon. Why, there might even be a good chance for it to turn out favorable, my friend!"  
  
Hope fluttered up in Tetsu's chest, small and light and nervous, shyly peering around the entrance of his heart and hesitating to step inside. "You think so?" he asked.  
  
Hugh straightened in his chair. "Absolutely!"  
  
Then his eyes fell on the calendar, and his expression darkened. "Although I do hope your beau will announce his decision before the beginning of summer break. Time until then is growing scarce."  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stumbled back, blinking and rubbing his forehead. "Hey," he shouted, the disciplinary committee president instinctively coming to the surface, "no running in the hallways! That hurt, you know–"  
  
He stopped in his tracks when he caught sight of the faces of the people who had just so rudely knocked into him. Faces that he'd recognize from a million.  
  
"Ryuusei! Koyuki! Sakuya!" he exclaimed, gaping at his three childhood friends, who stepped from foot to foot and gave him lopsided apologetic grins. "Geez, what the hell where you thinking? You almost knocked me over!"  
  
"Sorry," all three of them said, one after another.  
  
"We didn't see you," Sakuya added. "We were so excited, you know?"  
  
Mahiru blinked. "Excited?"  
  
The others blinked back, then Ryuusei started laughing. "Dude, don't tell me you forgot!" he burst out, giving Mahiru a playful nudge in the ribs. "You're such a workaholic, man! It's almost summer break!"  
  
Koyuki nodded. "We were in the middle of making plans with everyone! Are you joining us again, Mahiru?"  
  
"Sure," Mahiru said without hesitation. "Count me in." Crap, he really had forgotten all about summer break. The past few weeks had been so busy he'd completely lost track of time. "What's planned so far?"  
  
"The beach!" Ryuusei declared cheerfully. "You know what that means, right?"  
  
Sakuya nodded meaningfully and raised a finger, distorting his face into a mock-scary grimace. "We're about to meet the legendary Kraken and– _ow!_ Ow ow ow! Not my hair, Mahiru! It's real! I read rumors about a gigantic octopus near the shore just the other day!"  
  
Mahiru sighed loudly. "Geez, will you ever stop with your scary stories? Nobody believes you anyway!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Sakuya gave him a goofy grin. "No Kraken. But maybe a mermaid–"  
  
" _No!_ " the other three said in unison.  
  
Mahiru laughed. "But a trip to the beach does sound nice!" he admitted. "Do you guys mind if I invite some of my friends too? I mean, you're inviting yours too, right?"  
  
"Of course!" Koyuki said, smiling. "If it's the beach, it's the more the merrier!"  
  
Sakuya didn't look entirely happy, but then an idea crossed his face and he cracked a grin. "If Purple's coming too, can I pull his hair?"  
  
Mahiru smacked him lightly. "Nobody pulls anybody's hair, geez! Can you two at least try not to fight for one day? If Misono wants to come, anyway." _He probably does,_ he thought. Misono had never been one to say no to spending time with his new friends and doing the same things normal teenagers did.  
  
"You gotta ask him, dude! And ask Kuro too." Ryuusei planted his hands on his hips and grinned. "He's gotta join us too!"  
  
Mahiru nodded and couldn't help the proud smile crossing his face. He was still so, so glad Ryuusei and Koyuki had finally accepted him as a friend. Now he just needed Sakuya to start liking him too, and then Kuro would really become part of their group.  
  
Speaking of Kuro... What was he even doing during summer break? Where was he going? Mahiru had no idea, he realized.  
  
He had to ask him later.  
  
\---  
  
The afternoon was still fairly young when Mahiru knocked on Kuro's door, waiting for any words of protest before slowly entering. Kuro sat perched on the bed as usual, his back propped against the pillow and headboard, his phone in one hand, a spoon in the other. Resting to his side was a small tub of ice cream. He glanced up when the door opened, scooting over as soon as he saw Mahiru, a wordless invitation to sit down next to him.  
  
Mahiru smiled and sat, leaning back the same way Kuro did. He had long given up on scolding him for eating on the bed; as long as he didn't make too much of a mess it didn't matter. And even if he did, Mahiru suspected he might not even care that much anymore. Kuro looked so comfortable like this that Mahiru didn't have the heart to try and talk him into giving up the habit.  
  
Yawning, Mahiru stretched out his legs, and Kuro pulled out a second spoon and offered it to Mahiru, vaguely gesturing to the ice cream. Mahiru accepted it gratefully and took a spoonful. Cookies and cream wasn't his favorite flavor, but it was so hot that every kind of ice cream tasted like a blessing.  
  
They sat like this for a while, neither of them saying a word, silently taking spoonfuls out of the ice cream tub as Kuro finished whatever game he'd been playing on his phone. Mahiru took in the quiet atmosphere and smiled. It was strange how few words they needed to understand each other these days. It was like they'd always been like this; sometimes he forgot he had only known Kuro for a few months.  
  
Then at last the ice cream tub was empty, their stomachs were full and Kuro was done with his game, setting the tub and the phone aside on the nightstand. "What's up," he said, yawning and stretching.  
  
"Nothing much," Mahiru replied truthfully. "Everyone's just excited about summer break, I guess. I almost knocked over by Sakuya and Ryuusei and Koyuki because they were so fired up making plans."  
  
Kuro didn't reply at once. He just blinked at Mahiru in mild surprise, then he stretched out his legs, staring thoughtfully at his feet. "Ah. Right, it's coming up again, huh."  
  
Mahiru frowned. Was it just his imagination, or did Kuro look kind of down at the reminder? Tired, resigned... sad even.  
  
Had he been wrong to bring it up? Kuro didn't look happy, but he didn't have that shut-off look he got sometimes, that aura of not wanting to talk about something no matter what, not even to Mahiru. Whatever was bothering him, it was probably better to ask.  
  
"By the way," he said as casually as possible, "speaking of summer break, do you have any plans for that?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Not really. Gonna stay here, I guess."  
  
Mahiru couldn't stop the pang of concern and sympathy shooting through his chest. "All by yourself? The whole month?"  
  
"Why not? It's kinda nice." Kuro yawned and tried to look relaxed, but Mahiru wasn't fooled. He couldn't miss the loneliness rippling just beneath the surface, the underlying sadness at having to stay here for a whole month. "Sleeping as long as I want. And nobody to bug me. I can just eat ramen and ice cream and play games all summer and nobody's gonna complain."  
  
_You liar._ Mahiru clenched his fists. He knew Kuro wasn't happy. He knew Kuro didn't want to stay here alone, with nobody to come home to, no family waiting for him when school was out and everyone else returned to their parents and guardians. Why was he lying? Why did he think he was fooling anyone?  
  
Nobody to come home to... Home...  
  
An idea flickered up in his mind. It was ridiculous and completely out of left field, but it might just work. Either way it was a million times better than letting Kuro stay here alone.  
  
"Hey," he said, "wanna spend summer at my place?"  
  
Kuro straightened up. Blinking, he turned around, staring at Mahiru with wide, incredulous, hopeful eyes.  
  
"I-I mean," Mahiru added hurriedly, embarrassment creeping up on him with every second those eyes rested on him, "I live alone with my uncle, and he's rarely home because of work so it would've been just me most of the time. And before we both spend our summer breaks alone, thinking simply... we can spend it together, right?"  
  
Kuro gazed at him. A blush spread over his cheeks, and he lowered his head, his bangs obscuring his face. His hand softly reached for Mahiru's, gently curling around it, trembling. His voice was shaky as he spoke. "C-Can I really?"  
  
Mahiru smiled. "Sure! I mean, I still have to ask my uncle but I'm sure he'll say yes. I think he'll like you!" He laughed. "Uncle Tooru's an amazing guy. You just have to watch out for his puns, those are bad. Anyway, let me call him tomorrow and then I'll tell you! Okay?"  
  
Kuro didn't say anything. He just pulled up his legs and rested his face between his knees, curling up into a ball. His grip on Mahiru's hand tightened, giving it a grateful squeeze. "Can't deal," he mumbled.  
  
Mahiru inched closer to him. "So, are you in or out?"  
  
"I'm in," Kuro said hurriedly, sitting up, as if he was afraid Mahiru might take back the offer if he hesitated too long. They looked at each other for a moment, then Kuro curled up again, burying his face even deeper between his knees.  
  
"Mahiru... thank you."  
  
\---  
  
"Heeeeeeey, hey, Tsubakyun! How much longer do we have to keep laying low?"  
  
Tsubaki looked up from the book he'd been reading, glancing over at Berukia who lay sprawled over the floor, rolling over with a look of boredom. The others sat occupied in various parts of the room, but from the looks they all sent him they seemed to agree with his best friend.  
  
"Don't worry, Beru, everyone." He smirked. "We've definitely stayed under the radar for long enough. We can prepare our next strike soon... but first it's time to gather information."


	33. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After all, for the next month this will be your home too!"

"So, Abel, where do we travel this time?"  
  
Mikuni leaned back in his chair, unabashedly placing his feet on his desk, boots and all. The smile on his face was wide and cheerful as he held up the doll in his hands as if she was a real little girl who could answer his question.  
  
Jeje wasn't fooled. He knew his employer well enough to tell the smile on his face was almost entirely fake. Mikuni wasn't nearly as happy as he'd like to make him believe. Something was bothering him, and he had a pretty good idea why. All that talk of going home everywhere had to get to someone who hadn't had a home in years.  
  
"You could always go back," he remarked quietly, matter-of-factly. "Like you want to."  
  
Mikuni blinked, caught off guard, his smile fading for a split second. Then the cheerful expression was back, the mask hiding his feelings renewed and stronger than ever. "What are you talking about?" he asked, laughing. "Don't be ridiculous, Jeje. Why would I want to go back to that place? I'm the one who left it in the first place, am I not?"  
  
 _Liar,_ Jeje thought, but he really wasn't in the mood to argue with Mikuni of all people.  
  
He half-hoped Mikuni would let it go, but no such luck. "Why do you even insist on going back so much, Jeje?" he asked with a devilish smirk. "Maybe you're the one who actually wants to go back? Are you homesick, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje groaned inwardly. Why was he not surprised? "I'm not," he said.  
  
"So that's it!" Mikuni continued, ignoring his response. "You're homesick, is that it? And that's why you're trying to tell me I'm the homesick one, hmm? Check and mate." He laughed. "I can't believe you thought I'd fall for tha–"  
  
Jeje chucked a pencil at him that Mikuni narrowly dodged. "Shut up."  
  
"What? Come on, no need to be so sensitive just because I exposed your secret!" Mikuni dodged another pencil, laughing again. Jeje only gave him a look, and Mikuni got serious again.  
  
"Well," he said, "one way or another, there's no way I can go back with _him_ returning to that place."  
  
\---  
  
Kuro blinked, yawned, reached for his phone and looked at the time. It was early, not early enough to go back to sleep, but a little too early for him to wake up, unless it was by force. And yet he wasn't sleepy. In fact, he felt more rested than he'd been in a long time.  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to remember what he'd dreamed last night. He couldn't recall, but it had been a good dream. Kuro couldn't remember a time where he'd had so many good dreams before. He had always hoped not to dream when he went to sleep because his dreams had always been bizarre at best, painful and terrifying at worst, leaving him lying awake in the dead of night, trembling and gasping for breath. But not now. These days he only dreamed of good things, even if he could never remember more than the warm fuzzy feeling.  
  
He opened his eyes again, looking back on his phone screen. His gaze rested on the date. Just a few more days until summer break. He'd just have to make it through this weak...  
  
And then he'd get to spend the entire summer with Mahiru.  
  
Kuro almost caught himself smiling. He couldn't believe he was actually looking forward to summer break. He never had before. For him, summer break had been a time of being crammed together with yet another family that didn't want him for an entire month, or a time to get pushed away to the next foster family and have to get used to a new neighborhood, a new school, new people that all gave him the same cold, fearful eyes. Summer break had never been a time to enjoy and relax and look forward to. Up until now.  
  
It wasn't that he was coming back to a place he knew. He had no idea where Mahiru's uncle lived, and the whole neighborhood would be unfamiliar to him. But at least he wouldn't be alone. He'd be with Mahiru, and that was the closest thing to being home he'd ever known.  
  
He just hoped Mahiru's uncle really would say yes. He wondered what kind of person he was. Was he like Mahiru, simple, kind and pragmatic? Mahiru only ever said good things about him. Aside from the puns he'd mentioned. Oh well, Kuro could deal with puns. As long as Mahiru's uncle wouldn't look at him the way so many other adults had, he'd be fine.  
  
Hopefully. Maybe.  
  
He was nervous. He was so, so nervous. And happy. And overwhelmingly grateful. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve Mahiru's friendship and kindness, but deserved or not, he was so, so, so happy.  
  
 _Please say yes,_ Mr. Uncle, he thought. _Please say yes._  
  
\---  
  
Kuro was back in his room after school when his phone lit up with a message from Mahiru. _He said it's okay! We're good to go!! :D_  
  
He felt both relieved and nervous all at once. Relieved, because he wouldn't have to spend summer break all alone. Nervous, because he'd never been good with strangers. What if Mahiru's uncle ended up not liking him? What if Mahiru got in trouble for bringing him home for a whole month? What if–  
  
 _Relax,_ he reminded himself. This guy was a stranger, but he was _Mahiru's_ family. Mahiru had to have that kind, fearless nature from someone. And if that uncle really wasn't home most of the time because of work, how bad could it be?  
  
He reached for his phone and typed in a reply. _nice!_  
  
Kuro couldn't even recall the last time he'd used an exclamation mark in a text message.  
  
\---  
  
Misono was sleepy. He was tired, so tired that every part of his body was screaming for rest, and yet he was wide awake, restless, frantic. He had barely slept since the night of the festival. Sendagaya's confession was still haunting him, chasing him, wherever he went, whatever he did. When he was awake he could think of nothing else. When he was asleep it followed him into his dreams. Nothing distracted him. Everything reminded him of that night, Sendagaya's words, his expression and his own inability to do anything.  
  
His mind was spinning in circles. The more he thought about it the less certain he seemed to be on everything. Nothing made sense anymore. What should he reply? He didn't understand. What did he feel? He didn't understand. What should he do? He didn't understand. He didn't understand. He didn't understand!  
  
He didn't understand anything, not Sendagaya, not himself. He didn't understand how he was supposed to act. He still couldn't talk to Sendagaya, couldn't even look at him without his heart skipping beats and his face flushing red and his mind going frantic, without the shame and panic rising within him and making him stutter an excuse and run away, as fast and far as he could. He tried not to look at Sendagaya's face as he did. He tried not to see his expression, hurt and disappointed every time he ran away, tried to pretend everything was fine and he wasn't breaking the heart of one of his best friends. This was fine. This was normal. He'd figure something out. He had to.  
  
But it only got harder every time he thought about it, every time he spun it round and round in his mind. His feelings slipped through his grasp like drops of water. He didn't understand anything anymore. The only thing he understood was the confusion, the fear and puzzlement swirling around his head, chasing each other, chasing him.  
  
And guilt.  
  
Guilt over doing something like this to Sendagaya. Guilt over being so indecisive. Guilt over not knowing what to do, for being at a loss when he had always prided himself in being able to come up with a plan, a solution no matter what happened. Wasn't thinking supposed to be his strongest suit? Why was it that right now he felt more like it was getting in his way?  
  
He didn't understand. He missed Sendagaya. But he feared talking to him more. He didn't know what to say to him, how to act around him. For the first time in his life he didn't want to solve a problem. He just wished it was gone, for better or for worse.  
  
He clenched his fists. _I'm so sorry, Sendagaya. I don't want all this any more than you do.  
  
Just... please don't think I hate you now._  
  
\---  
  
"The ocean?" Tetsu set aside the gigantic stack of papers he was carrying for his homeroom teacher to see Mahiru better. "That sounds nice. I've always wanted to go to the ocean."  
  
Mahiru looked up at him, surprised. "You haven't gone yet?"  
  
"Not really. Got an inn and some hot springs to tend to, y'know. Although people don't visit those that much in summer." Tetsu shrugged. "I can take a day off though. My family's nice."  
  
"Okay." Mahiru nodded and smiled. "That's good then!"  
  
"When are we going?"  
  
"Ah, I don't know yet," Mahiru admitted. "I'm still asking everyone to see if they wanna go, and when I've got everyone we have to find a date where everyone's free." A thought seemed to cross his mind, and his smile faded. "Hey, um... Tetsu?"  
  
Tetsu tilted his head. "Yeah?"  
  
"Ah, well, how do I put this..." Mahiru looked a bit uncomfortable, stumbling over the words. "You... You don't mind if I invite Misono too, do you? I mean, just because you guys haven't been talking lately so I thought maybe you had a fight..."  
  
Tetsu's face clouded over. So Mahiru had noticed something was off, had he? Well, of course he had. Mahiru was smart, and it had to be pretty obvious.  
  
"It's okay," he said calmly. "I'm not mad at him. I don't mind."  
  
Honestly, Mahiru should be worrying more about if Misono wanted to go to the beach if he was there too. Tetsu trusted Misono, but right now he wasn't sure. Were they still friends in Misono's eyes? Or did his sole presence make him so uncomfortable that he didn't want to see him at all? Tetsu didn't want that. He hoped it wasn't that. He really hoped he hadn't ruined things with Misono. Should he have kept his mouth shut? Should he have hidden his feelings? No, that wouldn't have worked either. Then what else should he have done? What should he do now?  
  
He didn't know. He still wasn't a thinker, and he wasn't used to not being certain. For the first time in his life he didn't know what to think, what to do, who to ask. Misono had always known what to do, but now even he was at a loss. Tetsu couldn't rely on him now. And he didn't understand. He felt confused, confused and lonely and more than a little lost. And all he could do was hope.  
  
Oh well. It'd be fine. They'd both be fine. Misono was smart, and he was still his friend. Tetsu trusted him. He'd figure something out, and if he couldn't do it alone they'd do it together.  
  
He just hoped Misono wouldn't keep avoiding him forever.  
  
\---  
  
"Wha-Wha-Wha–!" Misono nearly jumped out of his skin, spinning around and relaxing as soon as he recognized Mahiru. "Oh, it's just you, Shirota? Don't startle me like that, you bastard! Did you sneak up on me or what?"  
  
"Um... no," Mahiru said awkwardly, half wondering what Misono had meant by " _just_ you," half guessing who he might have expected. "I didn't sneak up on you! I actually tried to talk to you a couple times, but you didn't answer!"  
  
Misono blinked at that, taken aback and blushing. "D-Did I now?" He cleared his throat. "W-Well," he declared, "my mind was obviously occupied! There are many important things to think about right now. Which didn't mean I was thinking about anything or anyone in particular, of course!" He blushed. "Especially not anyone!"  
  
 _He's a horrible liar,_ Mahiru thought.  
  
"Sorry for distracting you then," he said out loud. "It's just... I'm putting together this trip on the beach and inviting everyone, you in? Lily can come too if he wants!"  
  
Misono gazed up at him in wide-eyed wonder, his embarrassed blush fading into one of excitement. "The beach?" he repeated. "With everyone? A beach trip... with friends?"  
  
Mahiru smiled at the way his friend's eyes were shining and sparkling, all fired up and innocent like an elementary schooler. "Sure!" he said. "You're invited, are you going?"  
  
"I–!" Misono started to say before remembering that he had a reputation and couldn't act like an excited child, no matter how much he felt like one at the moment. "W-Well," he said more calmly, clearing his throat again, "I suppose it'd be rude to say no, seeing as you went through the trouble of inviting me and all."  
  
Mahiru smiled. "Awesome! Then everyone's going!"  
  
"Everyone?" Misono stopped short, a nervous blush tinting his cheeks pink. "Who exactly... do you mean by everyone? I-I mean... I guess Sendagaya's coming too, isn't he?"  
  
"Oh..." Mahiru frowned, watching Misono's expression closely. He didn't look like he wouldn't want to go if Tetsu was coming, at least. He did look nervous, half anxious, half hopeful, or maybe it was just Mahiru imagining the hope in his eyes. "Right, something happened between you guys... Do you mind? You don't have to talk to Tetsu if you don't want to, just..."  
  
"...it's fine."  
  
Mahiru blinked. "Really?"  
  
"Yes. It's all right," Misono insisted, although the look on his face spoke a different language. "I won't cancel this just because Sendagaya is coming. I'm not that childish." He paused, fidgeting, hesitating. His face turned even redder, his eyes firmly fixed on the ground at his feet. When he went on his voice was quiet and unsteady, shaking like a dry leaf in the wind. "Unless... he minds my presence."  
  
Mahiru stared at him. Puzzle pieces were starting to fit together in his mind, forming an incomplete but growing picture. Tetsu's response earlier... Misono's reaction... his remark...  
  
They weren't angry at each other. There was something else going on. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it was clear as day that it had to be a giant misunderstanding.  
  
"Don't worry," he said softly, letting out a small sigh. "Tetsu's not mad at you. He probably thinks you're mad at him, actually. So thinking simply, why don't you guys talk it out and–"  
  
"Quit it."  
  
Mahiru paused in surprise. "What?"  
  
"Quit it," Misono said again, and his voice was heavy and filled with a million emotions Mahiru didn't understand as he turned away, making his way towards the door. "Not everything is simple, Shirota."  
  
The door fell closed behind him, leaving only a confused Mahiru.  
  
\---  
  
The few remaining days until summer break passed, and then school was out.  
  
Misono still hadn't talked to Tetsu. Nothing had changed at all, except for the looks everyone else threw at him that kept getting more and more concerned. And now they wouldn't see each other at all for who knew how long, maybe a few weeks, maybe the whole month. With no guarantee that Misono would talk to him again even when they did.  
  
Tetsu couldn't let that happen. At least he wanted to say goodbye to Misono and wish him a nice break. That was all he wanted. He didn't care about getting a response to his confession or anything at all; he didn't even expect Misono to say anything to him. If he just stayed around long enough to listen to Tetsu's good wishes, he'd be grateful.  
  
At least he wouldn't have to search for Misono's classroom. Thank goodness it was the same as Mahiru's, and he knew where Mahiru's was; he just hoped Misono would still be there when he showed up. He just hoped Misono wasn't gone already.  
  
Picking up his pace, he ran up the remaining stares and hurried up the hallway, past a crowd of students who were heading the other way, straight towards the door. Tetsu kept his eyes open, but Misono wasn't among them. His heart skipped a beat. That meant he still had to be in the classroom... right? Right?  
  
He stopped at the classroom door and peered inside. Sure enough, there he was, standing and talking to Mahiru, his bag already packed, ready to leave. Tetsu opened his mouth to call out to him. "Sen–"  
  
At that moment Misono seemed to finish his conversation with Mahiru, because he turned, said goodbye to him with a brief nod, and headed straight for the door.  
  
Tetsu tensed up. Had Misono seen him? How would he react?  
  
Misono stared straight ahead and hurried right past him without a word.  
  
Tetsu gazed after him in silence. He knew he could still run and call after him, but all words were stuck in his throat. His legs felt heavy. Misono had ignored him completely. He hadn't paid attention to him at all.  
  
Suddenly the month ahead of him started feeling like a whole century.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro checked under the bed, peered into his closet and searched through his desk drawers. Everything empty. No, he really hadn't forgotten anything. His bag lay on top of the bed, stuffed with what little he had, ready to head into the unknown. Kuro swallowed and checked his appearance in the mirror for the third time. He didn't look threatening, did he? His eyebags looked even darker than usual. His skin was pale as a ghost. He had tried to smooth out his hair, but a few stray strands didn't seem to like his halfhearted attempt at a mature and trustworthy hairstyle. He had even worn his school uniform because it seemed like the least threatening set of clothing he had, but now he wondered if he really shouldn't change into something else.  
  
Just as he had made up his mind to reopen his bag and pick out something better there was a knock on the door, and Kuro spun around just as Mahiru stepped into the room with an excited smile.  
  
"Hey," he said, a large backpack resting on his shoulders, and Kuro spotted at least two huge bags lying outside the door. "You ready?"  
  
Kuro wasn't, but he was about as ready as he'd ever be for this, so he supposed that counted.  
  
"Kinda," he mumbled, adjusting the tie of his uniform and hoping, for the twenty-fifth time, that he really looked okay and trustworthy and not scary or threatening or delinquent-like. "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru gave him an encouraging grin, walked over and started dragging his lone bag off the bed. "Heavy..." he gritted out. "But not that big... don't tell me you just have this one bag of stuff?"  
  
"Yeah." Kuro shrugged awkwardly. "Don't have that much."  
  
Mahiru momentarily dropped the bag to give him a shocked stare. "But–!"  
  
"It's enough for me," Kuro cut him off, taking the bag from his hands and hauling it towards the door. "C'mon, let's not keep your uncle waiting."  
  
"Hey!" Mahiru stumbled after him. "I don't mind carrying your bag, you know?"  
  
Kuro looked down at him, a teasing glint in his eyes. "You're too slow with it, Mahiru."  
  
"Wha– Hey! Did you just call me weak?"  
  
"Nah. That's just your interpretation." Kuro picked up one of Mahiru's two bags and groaned slightly under the weight. "Let's go, Slowhiru."  
  
"Who are you calling slow, lazybones! Normally you're the slow one here! And hey, give me my bag back, I can carry it mysel–"  
  
"Ah, carrying luggage around sure can be tiring," a voice groaned in front of them. "I rest my case."  
  
Kuro almost dropped the bags in his hands. Standing in front of him, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, was a middle-aged man with curly dark hair, the same brown eyes as Mahiru, and a wide, friendly grin on his face. He had set his own suitcase aside to point finger guns at Mahiru. "Ba-dum-tss."  
  
Mahiru gave him a very, very, very exasperated look. "Uncle... Didn't I tell you not to make any puns until he knows you better?"  
  
"Sorry, sorry." The man laughed and grinned sheepishly. "I just can't help it, you know... Puns are a part of my personality! Thinking simply, people who don't know my puns will never pun-derstand me."  
  
Mahiru groaned. "Uncle!"  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro mumbled under his breath, too quiet for anyone to hear. Or so he thought. Apparently he hadn't been as quiet as he'd tried to be.  
  
Mahiru's uncle turned around, brown eyes resting on Kuro now, studying his face with curiosity. "Oh, sorry," he said. "We haven't met before, have we? Mahiru, would you mind introducing us?"  
  
"Sure!" Mahiru smiled so warmly that it almost calmed the nervous pounding of Kuro's heart for a second. "Uncle, this is Kuro. He's my classmate and also one of my best friends! Kuro, this is Uncle Tooru, my guardian. I'm sure you two will get along!"  
  
Uncle Tooru was still looking at Kuro with interest, but there was no fear in his eyes, only the same friendly warmth Kuro knew so well from Mahiru. "Mahiru's friend, huh? Nice to meet you!" He held out his hand, which Kuro shook hesitantly. "How are you doing on this fine day, Kuro?"  
  
"Uh... I..." Kuro ran a hand through his hair, looking into a random direction. "I'm... good, thanks."  
  
"Hi Good Thanks, I'm Uncle Tooru!"  
  
Kuro blinked slowly. Uncle Tooru laughed at his own joke. Mahiru grimaced and groaned loudly. "Uncle! Those were three puns in less than five minutes..."  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro mumbled again.  
  
"My apologies! I'll try to tone down the puns a little. Although I really don't understand why you're groaning, Mahiru!" Still grinning, Uncle Tooru reached for Mahiru's bag and lifted it up with a huff. Then he turned to Kuro, extending his free hand. "Come on, I'll carry your bag too! So you'll have one less to–" He paused, looking around. "Where are your other bags?"  
  
Kuro looked at his feet. "I don't have any."  
  
"Just this one?" Uncle Tooru frowned. "That doesn't look enough for a teen. Living for a whole semester with just one bag of things doesn't sound simple at all!" He took the bag from Kuro's hands, just as Kuro was about to open his mouth and protest that he could carry it alone. "If you need anything you don't have in your bag, feel free to ask Mahiru or me. Well, I won't be home most of the time, but..."  
  
Kuro fidgeted uncomfortably. "Ah, it's oka–"  
  
"It's all right, it's all right! You're our guest! Thinking simply, you deserve nothing but the best!" Uncle Tooru paused, then a big grin spread over his face. "Did you hear that? It rhymed!"  
  
Mahiru pulled a face. "Uncle, let's go! We're gonna miss the train!"  
  
Still laughing, Uncle Tooru picked up his own luggage in one hand, trying to carry Mahiru and Kuro's bags in the other. It was visibly too heavy for him. Stumbling awkwardly, Kuro stepped forward and took both bags back from him. "I'll carry that."  
  
"Ah... Thank you!" Uncle Tooru looked a bit surprised, but he didn't seem to mind being ridded of the heavy weight at all. "That's very kind of you!"  
  
Kuro glanced over to Mahiru with insecure, hopeful eyes. _Am I doing this right?_ he asked silently. Mahiru blinked back, then he gave him a proud grin and a thumbs-up.  
  
Kuro relaxed the tiniest bit. Things were going fine so far. Uncle Tooru was nice and not the slightest bit scared and had even called him kind. That guy really seemed to be every inch as fearless as Mahiru was. Or maybe Kuro was just lucky. Either way he was grateful, grateful and relieved that somehow, for the time being, things seemed to be going okay.  
  
Maybe he really could look forward to this summer break as much as he'd hoped.  
  
\---  
  
About half an hour later they were all sitting on a train, Mahiru in the middle, Uncle Tooru happily talking about his work, Kuro awkwardly staring out the window across from them. He was glad nobody was asking him any personal questions for the time being, but that didn't mean he wasn't tense. He was still headed for a place he'd never seen before, with a man he'd never seen before and who was so open and outgoing that it was only a matter of time before he started asking him about things he'd rather not tell anyone but Mahiru.  
  
Outside the window the landscape moved past at an excruciatingly slow pace. The train they'd got on was one of those small countryside trains, old and rattling and slower than a snail, and with every minute they spent moving through the middle of nowhere Kuro got more tense. As long as they were on this train together he couldn't get away from any possible looks or questions, not without raising even more questions.  
  
 _Please don't ask me anything._  
  
But Uncle Tooru didn't. Even though he should definitely want to know what kind of person would be staying at his house for a month, even though he should be burning with curiosity, he didn't ask him a single personal question. He asked Mahiru a lot of things – how school was going, how his friends were, how he managed to juggle class rep duty, student council and his committee work – but every time he turned to Kuro it was to comment on something, explain where they were and how far they still had to go, or ask him if Mahiru really wasn't overworking himself. It was almost as if he could sense that Kuro didn't want to talk about himself and left him alone.  
  
It wasn't until they had to change trains and stopped at a large station to get lunch that Uncle Tooru spoke to him. Mahiru had gone off to buy them food, and the two of them were left alone, an awkward silence hanging heavy in the air.  
  
"Say, Kuro," Uncle Tooru asked after a long moment, "I've been wondering... Mahiru told me you don't have a place to go home to for the summer?"  
  
Kuro tensed up. The dreaded question.  
  
What should he say? Should he make up a story and lie? Should he tell the truth? He didn't want either. He wasn't good enough at lying to get away with a fake story without being caught. And the truth would raise more questions, questions about himself that he didn't want to answer to the first adult who had liked him from the start, without the slightest bit of mistrust or fear.  
  
Uncle Tooru must have noticed his discomfort, because his expression softened sympathetically. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said. "I'm simply worried. Is there something bad going on at your home? You don't need any help, do you?"  
  
"I... don't have a home."  
  
The sentence was out before he could stop it. Uncle Tooru blinked. Kuro stared down at the floor, clenching his hands around his knees to stop them from trembling.  
  
"I don't have a family either," he continued quietly, not knowing why he was telling him this, where he got the courage to talk about something he'd wanted to hide so badly. Maybe it was the feeling this man gave off. Uncle Tooru had the same warm, welcoming aura as Mahiru, an aura that made him want to trust him even though they had only just met a few hours ago. "Just foster families who kept giving me away to others."  
  
Uncle Tooru frowned. "What about your current guardians?"  
  
"They don't want me back. They're scared of me."  
  
Kuro didn't know why he had added that last sentence. Uncle Tooru would want to know why. And that was a question he honestly couldn't answer. He couldn't tell this man that he was a former delinquent... that there were rumors going around that he had killed a man, and they weren't as wrong as Mahiru thought. Was he stupid?  
  
But Uncle Tooru didn't seem to care. He just looked at him in concern, worried and understanding. "Are you saying they dropped you off at a boarding school to get rid of you?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer. He simply continued staring at the ground, avoiding the man's brown eyes that were so much like Mahiru's.  
  
A large warm hand came to rest on his head, ruffling gently through his hair.  
  
Kuro looked up, wide-eyed. Uncle Tooru looked back at him, still patting his head but pausing as soon as he caught sight of Kuro's gaze, pulling back his hand with an apologetic grin. "Sorry," he said, laughing. "I couldn't help it. You reminded me of Mahiru just now, you know?"  
  
Kuro's eyes widened. "Of Mahiru?"  
  
"Just a little." Uncle Tooru smiled, dark eyes gazing thoughtfully into the direction of his nephew, who was busy ordering their food. "It's a different situation of course, but when I took him in he didn't have anyone either... but he found a new family so thinking simply, you can too!"  
  
Him? Find a new family?  
  
Kuro clenched his fists. No... no, that was impossible, completely impossible, it would never happen. It couldn't happen. Who'd want him as family? He was a troublemaker. He was lazy and useless and intimidating, and he had done terrible things in the past, things he couldn't make up for. Even if someone did want him, he would always know he didn't deserve them.  
  
He knew all that. And still... hearing Uncle Tooru's words gave him hope, hope he didn't want to have. This man was kind, but he was mistaken. Kuro shouldn't listen to him. He shouldn't believe those words. He should never let them stir the fragile, hidden wish that he had buried away and abandoned in the deepest, darkest part of his heart, hoping he'd never have to see its treacherous face again.  
  
He was lonely. He wanted a family. He wanted a place to belong to. It was something he couldn't have, and here Shirota Tooru was, telling him that he could.  
  
"I... don't think I can," he mumbled, feeling awful for every word. "But... thank you."  
  
There was a moment's silence. Then Uncle Tooru's hand was back on his head, gently ruffling his hair. "Now, now, no need to expect the worst or it will happen!" he said warmly. "For starters you've got Mahiru now. That's a beginning, isn't it?"  
  
Kuro nodded quietly. That was true. He had Mahiru. He had a place to spend the summer at thanks to Mahiru. He had a place to stay where he wouldn't have to avoid everyone in the house or be all alone for a month. And he had met Mahiru's family too now, this friendly, slightly strange but warm-hearted man who seemed to like him even though he was far from normal and who patted his head and encouraged him the way none of his guardians had ever thought of doing.  
  
Thinking about it like that... he was already closer to having a family than he'd ever been before.  
  
That was scary.  
  
Hope... was scary.  
  
Kuro sat in his chair with his gaze fixed on the floor, unmoving, watching hundreds of feet hurry past until Mahiru's voice brought him back to reality. "Sorry for the wait! Food's here, everyone!"  
  
"Oh, finally! Perfect thyme-ing, Mahiru." Uncle Tooru grinned. "That's what you call dine-amic food delivery! Lettuce eat, my nephew!"  
  
Mahiru picked the boxes of fast food back off the table. "Sorry, I've got the wrong table. I'm leaving again!"  
  
"Mahiru, wait! It was a joke! Do you really not carrot all?"  
  
" _Uncle..._ "  
  
Kuro leaned back in his chair. "Can't deal."  
  
Still looking a little exasperated, Mahiru placed the food back in front of them, and for the first time in hours Kuro noticed how hungry he was. He had barely eaten anything this morning because of his nerves, and now that he had relaxed a little, his hunger came back with a vengeance. He could eat a horse.  
  
He somehow managed to wait till the other two were settled around the table without pouncing on the cheap burgers and chicken wings and half-soggy fries that now seemed like the most delicious meal in the world. "Thanks for the food," they all said in unison. Then each one of them reached for the food and started stuffing his face. They got in each other's way, and they almost knocked things over, and they got their hands dirty, but he didn't care. It was fun, even if Uncle Tooru made them groan with another cartload of puns and he and Mahiru started arguing over the last fry before Uncle Tooru suggested splitting it in half.  
  
It was all-around goofy and messy, and after the meal they were all stuffed and had to sprint to catch their next train and almost didn't make it. And still it was fun, more fun than Kuro would ever have expected.  
  
And just for a split second, he caught himself wondering if this was what a family trip felt like.  
  
\---  
  
They reached home in the late afternoon. All of them were tired, and all of them wanted a rest and a bath more than all the money in the world, but it was still a good feeling. Home. Ever since he'd started living in the dorm he had grown to see more than one place as home, but this was still his real home, there place where he came from and the place he came back to.  
  
But today was different. Today it wasn't just that he was coming home, or that he was finally reunited with his uncle. Today Kuro was with him too, about to become part of his home for the next month.  
  
They stepped into the elevator and traveled up to their floor, and Uncle Tooru walked ahead of them to unlock the door to their apartment. It looked exactly the way he remembered; small and cozy, little used these days but still comfortable as ever, flooded by the warm light of the setting afternoon sun. Mahiru closed his eyes and inhaled the unique, familiar scent, a scent he had only learned to appreciate after moving out of here for the largest part of the year.  
  
"I'm home," he and Uncle Tooru said in unison.  
  
Setting their bags on the ground, they walked inside, opening the windows and checking around the apartment to make sure everything was where it belonged. When Mahiru finally returned back to the bags, Kuro was still standing in the doorframe, looking very awkward and nervous and hesitating to step inside.  
  
"What's wrong?" Mahiru gave him an encouraging smile. "Come in, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro nodded, toed off his shoes, and stepped in through the door. "Pardon the intrusion," he muttered.  
  
Mahiru started laughing. "Oh, Kuro," he said affectionately. "When did you get so polite? You don't have to be nervous, you know!"  
  
Shuffling awkwardly on the spot, Kuro glanced down at his feet. "Can't deal."  
  
"It's okay, you don't have to worry." Grinning warmly, Mahiru extended a welcoming hand. "After all, for the next month this will be your home too!"  
  
Kuro nodded and took his hand. His eyes were still fixed on the ground, shining with a strange emotion Mahiru didn't know how to name.  
  
"My home... huh."  
  
\---  
  
It was getting dark outside. They had closed the windows and turned on the lights again, sending Kuro to take a bath while they prepared dinner. He hadn't wanted to go first, but Mahiru and Uncle Tooru had insisted, telling him it was common politeness to let the guest go first, so in the end he had gone, and the two of them were left alone, waiting for the rice to boil.  
  
"He's a nice kid," Uncle Tooru said at last, breaking the silence.  
  
Mahiru looked up. "You mean Kuro?"  
  
"Yeah." Uncle Tooru leaned against the fridge, grinning. "He's very insecure, but he's definitely a good egg. So polite and helpful!"  
  
Mahiru had to stop himself from laughing. He wondered what Uncle Tooru would say when he saw the usual Kuro, the one who'd rather laze around than do anything by himself and only ever communicated through blank-faced snarky remarks.  
  
 _Well,_ he mused, _Uncle Tooru would probably still like him._ After all, Mahiru liked the usual Kuro too. Uncle Tooru would probably laugh at his laziness and find his blank-faced snarky comments hilarious. And still Mahiru was proud of him for trying so hard to please Uncle Tooru and behave himself, for forgetting about his laziness in favor of making a good first impression. And made a good first impression he had, even on Mahiru who knew him so well by now.  
  
"He was trying very hard," he said. "You noticed, right?"  
  
"Of course." Uncle Tooru's smile widened. "You must be very important to him if he's trying this hard."  
  
Mahiru smiled back. Yes, that was true. Kuro really had grown incredibly attached to him, opened up to him, trusted him like nobody else. Anyone could see how much Kuro cared about him, but of course it was Mahiru who knew it best, because he was the one who knew _him_ best.  
  
"Yeah," he said warmly. "I guess I am. And he's very important to me too."  
  
"That's good! That's very good, Mahiru." Laughing, Uncle Tooru reached over and ruffled Mahiru's hair. "We all need that very important person in our lives. Someone we share a special connection with." His eyes softened. "Looks like you found that one. Thinking simply, I wish you all the best!"  
  
Mahiru gazed off into the distance. That very important person... someone he shared a special connection with. He had many friends, and Kuro wasn't his best friend, or at least he didn't see him that way. But Kuro definitely was special. It was hard to put into words. Maybe it was just because they were together all the time, but the connection they shared felt different from everything Mahiru had known before. More intense, somehow. Like a bond that went beyond friendship into a territory he couldn't understand or explain.  
  
"What about you, Uncle?" he said slowly, still half lost in thought. "Who's your special person?"  
  
Uncle Tooru grinned. "Think of Rihanna."  
  
"...What?!"  
  
"Work, work, work, work, work, work." Mahiru groaned loudly, and Uncle Tooru grinned and gave him a hearty pat on the back. "Come on! The rice is almost boiling."  
  
\---  
  
Misono was just about to take a bite from his breakfast when the house fell silent. Feet shuffled from side to side, hurrying and then stopping abruptly, all in sync. There were frantic whispers he didn't quite catch. The only words he caught were "master" and "too early."  
  
He stood up. Next to the door the servants were lined up, bowing to the man who walked in through the door.  
  
"Father," Misono whispered.  
  
"Misono!" his father called, hurrying into the dining room without even bothering to take off his coat. "Misono, I'm home."  
  
Misono eyed him from head to toe. His father looked like he had arrived in a hurry. His hair was sliding out of his normally perfectly smooth ponytail. His glasses were too low on his nose, threatening to slide off. His shirt was crumpled and his tie lopsided, and he was still out of breath, as if he'd been running.  
  
And on top of that, he had come unannounced.  
  
"You're early," Misono said, frowning in confusion. "What's wrong, Father? Did something happen?"  
  
"Misono." Two large hands grabbed his shoulders. His father's gaze locked with his own. "News about what happened at your school reached me. I hurried home as fast as I could." He took a deep breath. "Are you all right? Why did you hide this from me for several weeks?"  
  
Misono swallowed. He had a hunch where this was going. "I-I'm all right," he said. "Don't worry, Father."  
  
"Don't worry, you say! There was a kidnapping at your school and you tell me not to worry! What if they target you next? You're the only family I have left, Misono! I can't lose you too!" He swallowed hard, his fingers digging into Misono's shoulders until their knuckles were white.  
  
Misono closed his eyes.  
  
 _Please don't say what I think you'll say. Please don't–_  
  
"After this summer break is over, you are not going back to that school again. Do you understand?"


	34. Call and No Response

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had Misono just hung up on them mid-sentence?

"Lily? Lily, is something wrong?"  
  
Lily snapped out of his thoughts, startled. His eyes slowly zoomed in on reality again. His food was cold on his plate. All around him the children of the orphanage were looking up at him with worried eyes, the twins each resting a hand on his arm to either side of him.  
  
"Oh my," he said, faking a smile, "was I lost in thought? Well, this hasn't happened in some time, has it?"  
  
The others continued looking at him with worried faces. Lily suppressed a sigh. They weren't fooled so easily, were they? Of course they weren't. They were children, and children were good at reading people. He didn't know what else he had expected.  
  
"Don't worry." He let his cheerful smile fade into a gentle, tired expression, leaning back in his chair and momentarily closing his eyes. "Everything's all right. I'm only feeling a little tired is all."  
  
Some of them relaxed. The twins' hands on his arms didn't move an inch.  
  
"Lily..." Yuri started to say.  
  
Mari finished the sentence for her. "It's about Misono, isn't it?"  
  
Yuri nodded. "Are you worried about him, Lily?"  
  
Lily gave a soft sigh. These children really were too perceptive. He had been naïve to think he could hide something from them, especially something that had to be as glaringly obvious.  
  
"You aren't wrong," he admitted quietly, and the twins' hands moved further up his arms. "I am rather worried about how he will deal with all this. If he'll put up with the decision and transfer away, or if he will find a way to stay... with the first friends he ever made." Lily sighed. And the first crush too, he thought. Whatever had happened between Misono and Tetsu still hadn't been cleared up. If Misono left now, they might never make up at all.  
  
The twins squeezed his arms, and Lily brushed off the dark thoughts with a warm, gentle smile. "Don't worry," he said, "Yuri, Mari. Nothing bad will happen. No matter how this ends, I'll stay by Misono's side and protect him. All right?"  
  
They nodded, looking relieved, and let go of his arm. Lily gave him another smile before returning to his forgotten, now-cold meal.  
  
He just wondered who had told Misono's father of the kidnapping.  
  
\---  
  
Misono stared out through the window, watching the rain fall. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting here already, gazing outside and spacing out as drops of water fell down one by one behind the glass, hundreds, thousands, millions, he didn't know.  
  
Was he really leaving his school? He didn't want that. He didn't want to go to a new place where he didn't know anyone except Lily, if Lily was even coming with him again this time. He didn't want to leave all his friends behind without knowing when or where he would see them again.  
  
He didn't want to leave Sendagaya behind, either. Not with... whatever it was still hanging unresolved between them. What would become of them? Would they meet again? Would his father even allow him to meet with any of his new friends? Or would they not see each other again and slowly drift apart and forget each other as they all lived their own separate lives?  
  
Would he even be able to forget them all?  
  
Misono didn't know. All he knew was that he never wanted to forget a single second he had spent with them all, the first real friends he'd ever had. He wished he could have made more memories with them. He wished he had spent more time with them all while he could. If only he hadn't panicked so much at Sendagaya's confession... If only he had continued on like nothing happened and made more memories...  
  
Stop thinking that, he chided himself. He was acting like he really wouldn't get to see his friends again. There was still their meeting at the beach planned, he'd tell them then. His father wouldn't forbid him from meeting up with them all for one day, would he?  
  
He should probably ask him and make certain.  
  
Rising from his chair, he put down the book he'd been trying to read and walked through corridors and down the stairs, coming to a stop at the door of his father's office. He shifted uncomfortably. His father rarely worked from here, and Misono had only been to this room once or twice. Seeing it inhabited again felt strange. It felt even stranger to know that his father was planning to stay here all summer break, working from home when he hadn't done that in a decade.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Misono knocked.  
  
There was a shuffle of papers, and moments later footsteps hurried across the carpeted floor and the door opened.  
  
"Misono," his father said, tucking a stray strand of hair out of his face. "What's the matter?"  
  
Misono fidgeted and swallowed, gathering his courage and hoping this would go over well. Then he looked up and met his father's gaze straight on. "There's something I'd like to ask you, Father."  
  
His father stepped out of the doorframe, beckoning him inside.  
  
"There's no need for that," Misono said, instinctively backing away. "It's only a small question."  
  
His father nodded. "I'm listening. If there's anything I can do for you, Misono, then–"  
  
"I'm only transferring schools, right?"  
  
His father stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide in surprise. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm only leaving because the school itself is unsafe, isn't that right?" Misono's words came spilling out like a waterfall, steady and unstoppable now that the dam had broken. "You're not taking me away because of my new friends, are you? Will I still be allowed to meet them, Father? I'll still be allowed to see them again, will I?"  
  
He sounded frantic, he realized. Frantic and panicked, even. His heart was pounding against his ribcage. He both awaited and dreaded the answer, feeling more anxious and afraid than he had felt in many years.  
  
His father sighed. "Misono..."  
  
"Yes?" he asked without missing a beat. His throat felt tight. _Please say yes,_ he thought. _Please say yes!_  
  
"The two students who were kidnapped... were two of your friends, am I right?"  
  
Misono froze. Images flickered in front of his eyes. Todoroki and Hyde, bruised, beat up and battered, supporting each other because they couldn't support themselves in that empty house, blood all over their faces and clothes. The ambulance... the hospital. He remembered sitting in the waiting room with Shirota and the others, more worried than he had ever expected to feel about these people.  
  
They weren't particularly close, but those two were still parts of his friend group. His father was right.  
  
But how did he know? How had he found all that out? Who had told him?  
  
"H-How..." he stuttered out, wide-eyed and incredulous. "H-How did you... who..."  
  
"Doesn't matter." His father looked like a heavy weight was resting on his shoulders, as if he wanted to say more but couldn't for some reason Misono didn't understand. "What matters is that they're dangerous, Misono. If your friends were targeted then you'll be caught in the crossfire too if you associate with them." He looked straight into Misono's eyes. "You understand that, don't you? It's too dangerous for you, Misono. They'll get you in danger."  
  
Misono gritted his teeth. His father was wrong. He _knew_ he was wrong. Hyde had been targeted because he was a former Servamp. Todoroki had been kidnapped because he had been careless and gone out looking for him in a bad state. Misono wasn't a Servamp like Hyde, and he wasn't careless like Todoroki. He'd be fine.  
  
But he couldn't tell his father that. He couldn't tell his father that he was associating with former gang members, not when he didn't even know Lily had been part of the Servamps once. If his father found out that he was caught up in a brooding gang war, he'd be gone before he could say another word.  
  
"You... You're wrong," he forced out. "There was a reason why those two were kidnapped, and it has nothing to do with me–"  
  
"Reasons don't matter here. You're the son and heir of the Alicein family. If there are kidnappers going around your school there's a good chance they'll come after you too, just for the ransom they could get out of you." His father fixed his gaze, narrowing his eyes sternly. "The risk is too high. I can't allow that to happen."  
  
Misono clenched his fists. "But then it'd be enough to transfer away–"  
  
" _It is not enough!_ "  
  
Misono froze. His father's aura had changed, his voice booming through the corridor, his presence growing larger and more infuriated, even though Misono could sense the desperation crackling underneath. "It wasn't only your school that was targeted, it was your group of friends! The kidnappers could use them to get to you!" He grabbed Misono's shoulders, fingers clenching into the fabric of his shirt. "You're the heir to the Alicein household, Misono. I can't afford to lose you. But most of all..." His eyes grew desperate, pleading. "You're the only family I have left."  
  
Misono didn't say anything. He only hung his head, hopelessly trying to come up with something else he could say, some argument that might still be able to change his father's firmly-set mind. There was nothing he could think of. "But–"  
  
"No buts! Cut off all contact with them. Delete their numbers." His father's voice turned gentle. "It doesn't have to be forever, only until they've caught whoever was responsible for the kidnapping. And don't go outside by yourself anymore, especially not at night."  
  
Misono took a deep breath as if to say something, then he sighed and nodded. His throat felt tight. He didn't want this. He didn't want to cut off his friends now that he had finally found some. He didn't want to say goodbye to Shirota and Kuro, to Hugh, Todoroki, Hyde and everyone. He didn't want to say goodbye to Sendagaya. But what choice did he have? His father was right, he was his only family left. And he was the heir of the household. For the sake of everyone here, he couldn't afford to put himself in danger.  
  
He didn't want this... but he had a responsibility. A responsibility that was greater than whatever he felt towards his friends. Or so he told himself.  
  
What should he tell them? He couldn't just disappear off the face of the earth without warning, or they'd be worried. They might come looking for him. But how should he explain this to them without attracting suspicion and making them figure out that something was wrong?  
  
Maybe he should ask Lily to tell them. Maybe that was the best way. He'd tell him to explain everything in a way he saw fit and delete their numbers like his father told him to and slowly forget about them.  
  
But... he at least wanted to say goodbye! He couldn't just cut them off without knowing if or when he would see them all again!  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to stop his brain from going round and round and round in circles.  
  
What should he do?  
  
\---  
  
Misono had been strangely grave all day.  
  
Lily wished he could say he had no idea where it came from, or that Misono would soon be back to normal again. But he knew better than that. This time he knew what was troubling his childhood friend, he knew it all too well.  
  
He had tried to dissuade Alicein Mikado from making his son cut ties with his friends. He had tried to tell him that Misono's friends were harmless, that they'd risk their lives to protect him, that he was safe with them and that there was no need to cut Misono off from the first friends he'd ever made. He had even tried to tell Mikado that he was always there to protect him, but none of it had worked. None of it had managed to calm him down.  
  
What else could he do? Misono looked so torn. Lily knew he didn't want to move away and leave everyone behind, but he also knew he wouldn't go against his father's will. No matter how much he cared about them, no matter how much he'd been looking forward to going to the beach together, no matter what was still hanging unresolved between him and Tetsu – nothing was important enough to make him take this step, going against his one remaining relative who wasn't dead or banished.  
  
Lily sighed. Misono was still such a child. He was only sixteen, not even old enough to be called a man. No human being should carry such a burden, such a responsibility at his age. And yet, here he was, carrying it willingly because he knew he had no other choice.  
  
Something had to be done. Someone, somewhere, had to do something, change all of this before it was too late. And if the one to do all this wasn't Lily, then who else could do it?  
  
He closed his eyes. Inside his mind the hint of a plan was beginning to form.  
  
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and started to type a message.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru was already up when Kuro finally scrambled out of bed and padded into the kitchen. He was surrounded by pots and pans, humming as he prepared breakfast, two sets of plates, cups, and chopsticks already set on the table. Uncle Tooru was nowhere to be found.  
  
Kuro looked around, inhaling the scent of freshly-made omelet rice and orange juice. The apartment still looked so bright, so warm and welcoming in the morning sun. Unfamiliar, he thought, but still homelike, with Mahiru standing there and humming to himself as he kept on getting their breakfast ready as if they had been living together for all their lives.  
  
"Oh, Kuro! You're up?" he asked as he glanced over his shoulder, smiling. "You sure woke up early today, I thought I'd have to wake you!"  
  
Kuro yawned and scratched his head. Mahiru wasn't wrong. Exhausted as he had been, Kuro hadn't been able to fall asleep for a long while, tossing and turning in his unfamiliar futon in the unfamiliar room that wasn't even his, and when he finally did drift off it hadn't been for long. "Couldn't sleep anymore," he admitted.  
  
Mahiru's smile turned sympathetic. "Well, that happens. Actually, I could do with you not being able to sleep in the mornings a little more often..."  
  
"Stupid early bird." Kuro stretched and sat down in one of the chairs. "Can't deal."  
  
"Hey, I'm just saying I'd be happy if I didn't have to drag you out of bed almost every morning! Geez!" Giving a slight huff, Mahiru turned back to the stove. "Anyway, are you hungry?"  
  
Kuro's stomach growled. "I'm starving," he groaned, a teasing edge in his voice. "You gotta feed your poor roommate right now or he's gonna die..."  
  
"Five more minutes!" Mahiru chucked an oven mitt at him. "Have some patience, all right?"  
  
"Hungry... can't deal..."  
  
"Geez!" Mahiru tried to huff again, but it turned into a stifled laugh as his face betrayed him. "You sure took the words 'Make yourself at home' literally, did you?"  
  
Kuro didn't say anything. Mahiru was right, he realized. Even though this was his first morning here, even though he still didn't feel familiar with this apartment, even though he was still feeling like an uninvited guest, Mahiru had managed to make him forget all that. Mahiru had managed to make him act like this was his home, like he belonged here, sitting at this table and nagging him to get breakfast ready.  
  
He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. He was still a guest here. Just because Mahiru's presence made him feel so at ease didn't mean he could lounge around here like a spoiled child and make his host do everything for him.  
  
But just as he got up from his chair, Mahiru came swooping over to the table to pick up both their plates, returned back to the stove, and came back a second later with two plates full of piping hot omelet rice. "There you go!"  
  
Kuro sat back down, inhaling the scent. It really smelled delicious, he thought as his stomach growled. Come to think of it, it had been a while since he had last eaten Mahiru's cooking. One more plus to staying here. Homemade food...  
  
He hadn't had much of that at any of his old homes. But now he might be getting it every day, for a whole month.  
  
"Thanks for the food," he mumbled in unison with Mahiru, then he reached for his chopsticks and dug in.  
  
It was delicious. It was every bit as delicious as everything Mahiru made, a little simple and plain maybe, but full of warmth and this welcoming feeling that tasted like home. Kuro closed his eyes and took another mouthful. It was like he could feel Mahiru's kindness in every bite, his warm and caring nature and the dedication that he had put into making this meal.  
  
He cleared his plate in no time at all, and still he couldn't get enough of the taste, of this amazing breakfast. But just as he was about to get up and go to the stove for seconds there was a loud buzzing noise that made him stop in his tracks.  
  
"Oh, sorry," Mahiru said, setting aside his chopsticks and wiping stray grains of rice from the corners of his mouth. "That's my phone... but I wonder who's texting me now? It's still kind of early..."  
  
He got up to retrieve his phone from where it lay on the windowsill, his eyes going wide as he looked at the screen.  
  
"What the...?!"  
  
Kuro set down the plate he had half-filled with a second serving, turning around to walk over to Mahiru and place his head on his shoulder, peering at the screen. "What happened?"  
  
"Lily texted me." Mahiru frowned, his eyes clouded over with worry. "He says Misono's in danger. Look!"  
  
Kuro glanced down at the phone Mahiru was holding towards him. Sure enough, there was a single text message displayed on the screen, and it was from Lily.  
  
 _Dear everyone,_ it read, and Kuro made a mental note to check if the message had reached him too. _I apologize for disrupting your peaceful and well-earned summer breaks, but there is something wrong with Misono. Please help me free him from his mansion! All the best – Love, Lily._  
  
Kuro was silent for a moment. Then he slowly handed the phone back to Mahiru, meeting his wide, concerned brown eyes.  
  
"Weird," he said finally, not knowing what else to say.  
  
Mahiru nodded. "I know," he muttered, frowning and gazing off into the distance. "This is really weird... Why such a cryptic message? What does he mean, free him from his mansion? Is he being locked up there or something? Why didn't Lily explain anything?"  
  
Kuro shrugged helplessly, unsure what to reply. "Maybe somebody hijacked his phone and it's a prank," he ventured, but he couldn't quite manage to give his voice its usual joking edge.  
  
"Maybe. Don't think so." Mahiru's frown deepened. "It's too much Lily's typing style, look? I think it's real." He sighed. "I hope Misono's okay..."  
  
Kuro avoided his eyes. Truth be told, he was worried too. He wasn't particularly close to Misono, but he was still part of the group, and to Mahiru Misono was a precious friend. Receiving such a cryptic message out of the blue, telling him that something was wrong and Misono needed to get out of his mansion, which could mean _anything,_ really... no wonder he was feeling nervous.  
  
"Don't worry," he still said, to Mahiru or himself, he wasn't sure. "I'm sure Bastard-chan's gonna be okay. Not like a lot of stuff can happen to you if you're at home."  
  
"Spoken like a true shut-in," Mahiru quipped, and for a second the gloomy concern left his eyes. "I hope you're right... Well, there's only one way to find out!" He tapped Lily's contact information and started dialing his number. "Thinking simply, we have to ask him!"  
  
Holding the phone to his ear, he waited impatiently, growing more nervous with every passing second. "Pick up, pick up!" he whispered. Kuro inched closer to listen in on anything Lily might say, but all he heard was the dialing tone.  
  
It rang once, twice, thrice.  
  
"Pick up already!" Mahiru hissed again. "Come on, Lily!"  
  
It rang a fourth time. Then there was a click, and a second later a voice sounded through the speakers. But it wasn't Lily's.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
For a good second, all Mahiru could do was gape at the phone in shock.  
  
"Misono!" he stuttered out when he found his speech again. "W-Why did you pick up? I thought this was Lily's phone!"  
  
There was a silence from the other end of the line, then finally Misono spoke up, sounding equally startled. "Y-You... You are..."  
  
"Ah, but I am glad to hear you!" Mahiru continued quickly, before Misono could decide this call was none of his business and hang up. "What's going on at your place? Is everything... Are you oka–"  
  
 _Click._  
  
Mahiru lowered the phone from his ear, staring down at it in complete disbelief. Then he and Kuro moved in sync, turning around to stare at each other with wide baffled eyes. Had Misono just hung up on them mid-sentence?  
  
"M-Maybe it was an accident," Mahiru said at last, his face pale. "Misono might've pressed the end call button accidentally... You know how bad he is with tech..." He brushed it off. "Let's try again! Thinking simply, if it was an accident one of us needs to call again and continue the conversation, right?"  
  
Kuro nodded, but he didn't miss the doubt, the unspoken question looming dark in Mahiru's eyes. _What if it wasn't an accident? What if Misono cut it off on purpose?_  
  
First Lily's message, and now this... What could they think except that the two were correlated? How could they not think something was seriously off?  
  
Mahiru took a deep breath, pressed the call button again and held the phone to his ear a second time. Then he waited.  
  
Silence. Then the dialing tone.  
  
"The number you have dialed is currently not available. Please try again at a later time or–"  
  
Mahiru cut the call.  
  
"Weird," he said. "Is his phone turned off now? Maybe it ran out of battery and died... but it's Lily's phone, and Lily never lets his phone die. I wonder why..."  
  
He looked up at Kuro. Kuro looked back at him. They both thought the same thing.  
  
Had Misono turned off Lily's phone after hanging up on Mahiru?  
  
But why? The Misono they knew would be excited to have friends that called him over summer break. Did it have something to do with the way he had acted before summer break, the way he had seemed all out of it because of... whatever it was that had happened between him and Tetsu? No, that couldn't be right. If it was just that he'd still be talking to the rest of the group. Did he want to be left alone for some reason? Did he not want to talk to Mahiru and the others? Or was there something else–  
  
"Let's find out," Mahiru cut off their train of thoughts. "If Lily texted everyone then thinking simply, everyone should have read this message, right? Maybe one of the others knows something." His fingers flew over his phone screen, tapping away. "I'm texting them all!"  
  
"And then?" Kuro asked, shifting away from his shoulder.  
  
"Then we wait," Mahiru replied, sounding like he hated that answer himself. "Either one of the others knows something... or we need to wait until Lily turns his phone back on."  
  
\---  
  
"You sure it's not too heavy, dear?"  
  
Tetsu peered around the pile of boxes he was balancing on his arms to catch a glimpse at his grandmother, who was struggling to hold up the one box she was trying to carry. "No, it's fine," he said lightly. "I've lifted heavier stuff. This is kinda light, actually."  
  
His grandmother laughed. "My, you are right. I keep forgetting what a strong boy you are, my dear!" She smiled, her old face lying in a thousand merry wrinkles as she puffed, marching ahead with the box in her hands. "That's what matters. As long as you're happy and keep your body strong and healthy, everything else is unnecessary! Right, Tetsu?"  
  
"Yeah," he agreed, following her through the house and up the stairs into the attic. "You always say such smart things, Grandma!"  
  
"That's because I'm old, dear. Old ladies are supposed to say clever stuff, no?" She grinned, dragging herself up the last steps and huffing heavily. "But old ladies aren't supposed to carry heavy stuff anymore, apparently..."  
  
"Want me to take your box too, Grandma?"  
  
"Goodness, no! I need the exercise, or I'll grow even weaker!" She heaved herself up into the attic and set down her box with a sigh, huffing and puffing. "And besides, you couldn't even carry another box. You can't see over the pile you already have!"  
  
Tetsu nodded good-naturedly and navigated around her to carefully set his own boxes down on the ground. "What's in all these?"  
  
"A lot of things," she answered, pointing at the boxes one by one. "This one's a repair kit for that hole in the roof, we need to close it up before it starts raining and we have a leak. This one's a new table for the inn. That one's a secret, it's your ma's birthday present... and the one over here is a board and paint for a new entrance sign. Painting that one's your job! You're still good at calligraphy, no?"  
  
Tetsu nodded again. "Want me to hang it up too?"  
  
"Of course not! I want you to hold my ladder when I do it myself." His grandmother winked. "Oh, and don't tell the others about this yet! We'll make it a surprise, shall we?"  
  
"Uh... yeah! Sure, Grandma."  
  
She smiled again. "You're a good one, all right! And while we're at it, you can ask your old man to fix the roof too. And no, you can't do that yourself! I'm not letting my grandson break his neck up there," she added when Tetsu opened his mouth. "You're doing enough already. And you're still supposed to be on break, aren't ya?"  
  
"Ah, it's fine." Tetsu shrugged. "I like helping out here. It's fun working here with everyone."  
  
"That's the spirit." Smiling, his grandmother walked back towards the stairs, motioning for him to follow her. "You'll make a marvelous owner of this inn once you inherit it! But rest is important too. Come on, let's cool down! I still have a watermelon in the fridge."  
  
Nodding excitedly, Tetsu followed her down the stairs, his stomach growling. He was hungry and thirsty from the heat and exercise. His grandmother was right, a watermelon sounded fantastic. He idly wondered if he should get his sisters and split the watermelon together with them, but he had no idea where they were, and he didn't even know where to start looking for them. Splitting a watermelon alone with his grandmother sounded fun enough too.  
  
Misono would love to join them if he was here, he thought. Misono had probably never split a watermelon with friends before; he'd be excited to join. Maybe Tetsu could ask him to direct him towards the melon, and Tetsu was sure he'd find and split it faster than ever. That sounded fun. They should definitely bring a watermelon when they went to the beach.  
  
He wondered what Misono was doing right now. Was he relaxing with a book at home? Was he away on a trip? Maybe he was even overseas. Tetsu was sure his family could afford it. He wondered if he should text him, just to ask how he was doing.  
  
After all, he still missed him.  
  
Lost in thought, he he wandered into the kitchen, watching as his grandmother heaved a respectably-sized watermelon out of the fridge. "Nice one, eh?" she said cheerfully. "C'mon, get your baseball bat! I'm getting your dad and sisters. They deserve a refreshment too, no?"  
  
Tetsu nodded and hurried off towards his room, trying to remember where he had put the bat the last time he'd used it last summer. His gaze rested on his desk. The bat wasn't there, but what was very much there was his phone, blinking and indicating a new message.  
  
Half curious, half hopeful, he picked it up. The screen lit up with a number of unread messages. One of them was from Lily, another one from Mahiru. The third one was from Hugh, and then there was another one from Lily, visibly longer than the others.  
  
He tapped the first one to read them all in chronological order. Dear everyone, it said.  _I apologize for disrupting your peaceful and well-earned summer breaks, but there is something wrong with Misono. Please help me free him from his mansion! All the best – Love, Lily._  
  
Tetsu's heart skipped a beat. Had he read that right?  
  
Misono? Something wrong? Free him from his mansion?  
  
Why? Why free him from his own house? Wasn't he supposed to be at home there? Had something happened at his home? Why would anyone have to be rescued from the very place they lived in?  
  
What was happening? Was Misono okay? He was okay, right?  
  
Tetsu took a breath. Of course he was. If something was seriously wrong Lily would have written something else. Misono might need help, but that didn't have to mean he was in acute danger. It wasn't like him to panic over something like this. He should stay calm.  
  
Still he couldn't stop his fingers from shaking as he tapped the screen to open the other messages. The next one was from Mahiru, and it wasn't helping much.  
  
 _Hey, do any of you guys know what happened to Misono? I tried calling Lily but I can't reach him, so..._  
  
Tetsu's hands felt cold all of a sudden. Cold and very, very clammy.  
  
Swallowing hard, he tapped the next message and relaxed a little when his eyes flew over Hugh's familiar typing style.  
  
 _My dear friend, it appears to me that your dear beloved is in trouble. Since he appears to need help, should you not swoop in and rescue him as his knight in shining armor? I am sure it would easily smooth out all the differences you have between you now._  
  
Tetsu blushed a little at the words _dear beloved_ , a slight smile crossing his face. Typical Hugh. He always knew what to say in any situation, and right now he had managed to calm him down, even if it came at the cost of getting flustered. This was another way to view it. But Hugh did have a point; if Misono needed to be rescued, then maybe helping him out would break the ice between them and they might at least become friends again.  
  
Supposing that Misono was still okay enough to be rescued with ease, anyway.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Tetsu clenched and unclenched his fist to steady himself, and tapped the screen again, proceeding to Lily's most recent message.  
  
 _Dear everyone,_  
  
 _I sincerely apologize for the confusion my message has caused earlier. I suppose I should have explained the situation better from the beginning, but there was little time and I did not wish for Misono or his father to find out I was calling for help at the time. Now, however, I am by myself, and therefore I shall take the time to explain the situation._  
  
 _As you all remember, a few weeks ago Licht-kun and big brother Hyde were kidnapped and successfully rescued. While at the time their disappearance was the talk of the town, Misono's father was then absent, being away on a business trip, and did not hear about the incident. We thought it best not to tell him, knowing how much he tends to worry about his son's safety._  
  
 _Now, Misono's father suddenly returned from his trip early yesterday morning, barging in unannounced, saying that he heard about the kidnapping incident. We do not know who told him; I know for a fact that no one in the household did. However, that did not change that he was terribly concerned for Misono and immediately announced that he will not be returning to our school after this summer._  
  
Tetsu choked on his breath. Misono? Leaving school? No way... No, that couldn't be! Why was he leaving? Why now? They still hadn't made up... How often would they still see each other if they went to different schools?  
  
 _In addition,_  Lily's message continued, _Mikado-san – Misono's father – decided that since Licht-kun and big brother Hyde, who were kidnapped, are part of his friend group, Misono might be in immediate danger too and has therefore told him to cut off all contact with all of you immediately. I am very sorry, I tried to dissuade him but it was in vain, and Misono lacks the strength to go up against his father on his own. Still, he needs to be freed. Complete isolation from the first friend group he ever had is not a solution. Therefore, will you please help me in changing Mikado-san's mind and rescuing Misono from the gilded cage he has been put in before it is too late?_  
  
 _Love,_  
  
 _Lily_  
  
Tetsu stared at the message, wide-eyed. Then he read it all over again. And again, a third time.  
  
Misono had been told to cut them all off. Misono had been forbidden from meeting them all again by his father. If they didn't do anything, he might not be able to see Misono again for a very, very long time.  
  
What was happening? Was that true? That couldn't be, right? Misono was so strong and smart and brave... There was no way he'd just _follow_ his father's orders without doing anything!  
  
Without a second thought he scrolled through his contacts, tapped Misono's name and pressed the call button.  
  
Then he waited.  
  
It rang. Once, twice, thrice, nothing happened. A fourth time, a fifth.  
  
 _This is fine,_ Tetsu told himself. Misono-senpai's not good with tech. _Maybe he can't find his phone again or he forgot how to answer a call._  
  
It rang a sixth time. Then there was a click and a beep, and the call was cut off.  
  
Tetsu stared at his phone, puzzled. Then he tapped the call button again. He held the phone to his ear and waited. But this time it didn't ring. This time there was a beep, and then an automated voice told him something about the number being currently unavailable.  
  
Tetsu cut it off.  
  
What had just happened? Misono's phone had still been available just a minute ago. Had the connection suddenly failed? Or... had Misono switched his phone off?  
  
Was Misono actually following his father's orders? Cutting them off, just like that? That couldn't be right. Misono wasn't the kind of person who'd do that without protest. Misono wasn't the kind of person... who needed to be rescued.  
  
Maybe he just hadn't been able to talk on the phone right now. Maybe texting was better. Sitting down on his chair, Tetsu switched to his messages and composed a quick text.  
  
 _Hey senpai u ok?_  
  
The message was sent, but not delivered. No wonder. Misono's phone was probably still switched off. He should check again later to see if he could reach him.  
  
If he couldn't... what should he do?  
  
"Tetsu!"  
  
His grandmother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Tetsu!" she called. "What's taking you so long, did you lose the bat? Everyone's gathered already! Hurry up, the watermelon's getting warm!"  
  
Shaking off the heavy thoughts, Tetsu got up from his chair, tucked his phone into his pocket, pulled his old baseball bat out from under the bed, and hurried down the stairs. "Sorry, Grandma," he shouted back. "I'm coming!"  
  
But even as he hurried down to meet his family, even as he split the watermelon open on his first try, even as they all sat together in the sun and ate it, he couldn't shake off the worry lurking at the back of his mind. What if Misono had really stopped talking to them all? Was there still a way to get him back? He hoped Hugh or Mahiru or someone else had an idea how to help him. Because he didn't. He wasn't a thinker. He wasn't one to make plans. The one who had been doing all his thinking for him, the one making his plans... for the past few months, it had always been Misono.  
  
\---  
  
Misono jolted up in his chair, startled by the sudden noise that had cut through him as he had been immersed in his book, oblivious to his surroundings. It was loud, and it was bright, and it was very much real, and even as he still struggled to identify its source it was impossible to ignore.  
  
Setting his book outside, he scrambled out of his chair and nearly fell over when he tried to put weight on his legs that had fallen asleep. His eyes roamed around. They rested on his phone lying on the nightstand, the screen bright, chiming a ringtone whose sound he had almost forgotten.  
  
Tripping over himself, he stumbled over. The screen was still bright, the ringtone chiming on. Almost jumping on it, Misono picked up his phone, looking down at the caller ID. And froze.  
  
 _Sendagaya._  
  
What should he do? What should he do now? Sendagaya was calling him. Should he answer? But what should he say? They hadn't talked properly since that day, why was Sendagaya calling him now? Did he want an answer after all? Or–  
  
No, that didn't matter. He wasn't allowed to talk to any of his friends. Not even Sendagaya.  
  
But he was alone. If he was careful then maybe–  
  
No. It was too risky. He'd be found out for sure.  
  
A lump caught in his throat, thick and heavy. His hands clenched around the phone. Technically he wasn't even allowed to have his number still saved in his phone, even if he didn't have the heart to delete them all yet. But he couldn't answer this call. He wasn't allowed. As much as he wanted to, as much as he wished he could... he wasn't allowed.  
  
He swallowed. _I'm so sorry, Sendagaya._  
  
Then he declined the call and switched the phone off.  
  
\---  
  
"So?"  
  
Higan stepped into the house, taking off his coat and hanging it next to all the others as he walked in, closing the door behind him. "A full success," he said. "He responded exactly like you said he would. He didn't question any part of the story, either." He smiled. "It's a good thing this old man is a teacher at his school."  
  
"Oh yes, it is." Tsubaki's grin widened. "It's a good thing we have you around, Higan-sensei." He smirked and turned around, throwing a glance at Otogiri who was sitting on the couch, reading something on her phone.  
  
"Then... it's time for part two."


	35. The Uncertain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He skimmed it over, and suddenly the note felt like lead in his hands.

Voices. So many voices.  
  
They were everywhere, all around Misono, all talking at the same time. He tried to listen to them, but every time he tried to focus on one voice it drifted away, fading into incoherent babble that only sounded like words from a distance.  
  
Who were they? Misono wasn't sure. He knew he had heard all these voices before, somewhere. But now that he tried to recognize them, his mind kept coming up blank. Were they friends? Family? Strangers he had passed on the street?  
  
His head was hazy. The world was pitch-black around him. He was drifting, slowly, without any concept of time or space, as if he was being carried by a slow, dark stream that carried him into an unknown world, past everyone who tried to speak to him and couldn't finish their sentence before he was gone, carried on to the next place, without feeling like he had moved at all.  
  
Little by little the voices gained shape. Cut-off syllables turned into words, words turned into fragments of sentences. Fragments of sentences slowly shifted together to make sense.  
  
"To think that robbers would make it into our house..."  
  
"Terrible. What a tragedy..."  
  
"Misono! Are you all right?"  
  
"An ambulance! Call an ambulance!"  
  
"It's all right! I'll be fine..."  
  
"No, we don't know how it happened. It must have been an accident..."  
  
"Very well, I'll leave. But she has to leave too."  
  
"Don't worry about me. Mom will be back. So be good, okay?"  
  
"I don't know where she went. Stop asking me!"  
  
"Everyone, this is Jeje. He's my bodyguard now!"  
  
"You are not my son. You are not my son!"  
  
"I suppose I should apologize, but I'm happy to announce I'm not the slightest bit sorry. I think I did the right thing."  
  
"Mikado-san, I don't think–"  
  
"Leave the house. Leave it. Now!"  
  
"To do that to his own family... what a monster."  
  
"Traitor."  
  
"Liar."  
  
" _Murderer..._ "  
  
Misono darted upright. For a few seconds his eyes stared blankly into the darkness, unseeing. Then he gasped for breath, and little by little the blackness around him started to fade into familiar shapes.  
  
It was the middle of the night. The world was quiet around him, the only noise coming from the crickets in the garden. A crescent moon was shining in through the windows, a cool, soothing silver light that made everything just barely bright enough to see.  
  
Panting and sighing, Misono relaxed back into the mattress, letting his head sink into the pillow. His heart was still pounding against his ribcage. His clothes and hair stuck to his skin, drenched with cold sweat, but he barely noticed. The voices from his dream were still resonating in his head, vivid and real, calling back memories he'd rather push away forever.  
  
Misono tried to close his eyes, but that only made the voices louder. They were still  _there_ , right in his head, ringing in his ears as if the speakers were standing right next to him, so close that he only needed to extend his hand to touch them. The room seemed filled with people, crowded, as if everyone from his dream had materialized all around his bed, invisible yet ever-present.  
  
He opened his eyes again, and the voices faded. Sighing, Misono sat up in his bed again, scuttling over to reach for the glass of water resting on the nightstand, downing it all in one gulp, trying to swallow too much at once, choking and coughing. His coughing was too loud, loud and very much real, real enough to drown out the voices in his head and sort his thoughts until they made sense.  
  
What kind of dream had that been? Why was it that after all these years, he was suddenly remembering  _that time?_  
  
He didn't know, and truth be told he didn't want to know. It was only a dream. Even professional scientists didn't fully understand how the brain worked when dreaming.  
  
\---  
  
Brought together in Mahiru's living room was quite the merry gathering.  
  
Of course there was Kuro, lounging stretched out on the floor and playing a game on his phone. Tetsu and Lily had occupied the couch, a glass of soda standing in front of Tetsu on the couch table, Lily holding a cup of coffee. Sitting perched on the armrest next to Tetsu was Hugh, a giant glass of orange juice in his hands, and on the table rested Mahiru's laptop, Licht and Hyde looking out through the video chat on the screen. Mahiru himself was busy in the kitchen, running back and forth between his guests and the fridge and nearly tripping over Kuro where he lay sprawled on the ground.  
  
"Delicious," Hugh said with a satisfied sigh, setting down his empty glass. "Another glass of orange juice would be much to my liking."  
  
"I'll take another soda too," Tetsu added.  
  
Lily smiled, taking another sip from his coffee. "A bit of cake would go well with this," he mused, "or perhaps some cookies."  
  
"And melon," Licht said through the laptop speakers.  
  
"Geez!" Huffing with annoyance, Mahiru slammed a tray full of drinks down on the couch table, making the glasses and laptop shake. "You're not at a restaurant, go get your food and drinks somewhere else! Hugh, you can't have another full glass of orange juice, I'm almost out! Lily, if you want cookies bring them yourself! And Licht! You're not even  _here,_  how am I supposed to give you melon?"  
  
Licht looked unfazed. "Send it by mail."  
  
"Send it? Lichtan, you're amazing!" Hyde burst out laughing, falling over backwards in his chair and disappearing from sight. "It'll be spoiled before it ever gets here, silly Angel-chan!"  
  
"Nobody asked you! Die, shit rat!"  
  
"Ow, ow, ow! Angel-chan, stop kicking me! I'm going to tell Crantz!"  
  
"Then I'll tell him you started it!"  
  
"Great! And he'll say he doesn't care and make us sleep in the same room again! You want that or what?"  
  
Licht flushed a suspicious shade of red while Hyde scrambled back up, straightening up his chair and sitting down next to Licht again. Licht glared at him and didn't say anything. Hyde stuck out his tongue at him and stole a cracker from the plate in front of them.  
  
Mahiru glanced back and forth between the screen and his guests. "Why are these two even staying together?"  
  
"Apparently Hyde lives kinda close to Angel-chan," Kuro remarked from his place on the floor. "He wanted to travel home together but Angel-chan had to go on tour so Hyde invited himself along. Or something." He yawned. "Clingy... can't deal."  
  
"Hey!" Hyde yelled through the speakers. "I heard that, big brother! I won't take that from someone who's spending the whole summer with his cru–  _ouch!_ " He jumped up. "I was just telling the truth! Don't stomp on my foot, Lichtan!"  
  
Sighing, Mahiru stepped between the couch and the screen before any more chaos could break out. "Cut it, you two!" he yelled in the direction of the screen. "That's not why we're here today! In case some of you forgot, this is an emergency meeting, not a fun hangout!"  
  
"C'mon, Mommy, have some chill." Kuro rolled over on his back, not lifting his eyes from his phone screen. "It's not like Bastard-chan's going anywhere if we talk for a couple more minutes."  
  
"Who's Mommy?! And put down that phone of yours before I confiscate it!"  
  
"So mommyish... can't deal..."  
  
Mahiru ignored him and sat down, squeezing onto the couch next to Lily. "Anyway, how's Misono?" he asked. "Is he okay?"  
  
"As good as he can be, considering the situation," Lily said with a sigh. "He is used to being alone, so he has no problems keeping himself occupied. He reads a lot, and when that gets boring he often comes over to the orphanage and plays with the children. He isn't bored, but..." He sighed again. "He is lonely, I can tell. He misses all of you and is trying not to let it show."  
  
Mahiru frowned sympathetically. Kuro rolled back onto his stomach and mumbled "can't deal." Licht and Hyde were silent on the laptop screen.  
  
Tetsu didn't say anything. He just looked down at his fingers where they lay in his lap, his eyes clouded over, looking lost and strangely small for his large body.  
  
"Why's he hiding it?" he asked quietly. "It's not like Misono-senpai to just do what people tell him."  
  
Lily smiled sadly. "He can't disobey his father, Tetsu-kun."  
  
Tetsu raised his head. "Why not?"  
  
"Because Misono is Mikado-san's only remaining family." Lily's face turned grave, his smile disappearing. "He is aware of his responsibility as the heir of the household, and he knows Mikado-san cannot afford to lose him too. Ever since Mikuni left and Misono's mother–" He stopped in his tracks, realizing what he said, and straightened up where he sat. "My apologies. I should not have brought that up... What matters is that Misono is under a lot of pressure, from both his father and himself. He won't be able to free himself alone."  
  
Nobody said anything for a moment. Then Mahiru jumped up, tapping his palm with his fist.  
  
"If that's the case," he declared, "then thinking simply, we have to go get him out! Right, guys?"  
  
Kuro rolled over again on the floor, putting his phone down. "How you gonna do that?" he asked blankly. "Kidnap him?"  
  
"Of course not!" Mahiru huffed, sending a kick his way and missing. "We have to, uh... we have to..."  
  
"'Course you don't have a plan. Can't deal."  
  
"Shut up! I'll think of something!"  
  
Lily chuckled softly. "I'm afraid he'll be hard to kidnap. The mansion is heavily guarded, Mahiru-kun..."  
  
"I already said I don't want to kidnap him! Geez!"  
  
"We should dig a tunnel and whisk him out underneath the mansion," Hugh remarked.  
  
"Break him free with my angelic powers," Licht suggested, almost sparkling.  
  
"Disguise ourselves and infiltrate the mansion to sneak him out!" Hyde added, narrowly avoiding another kick from Licht.  
  
Tetsu stayed silent. His eyes were still dark, his gaze resting on the ground as he sighed, looking lost and very lonely.  
  
Lily was the first one to notice, glancing over at the boy next to him, a sympathetic look on his face. "What's the matter, Tetsu-kun? Are you worried?"  
  
"It's not that." Tetsu didn't lift his eyes. "I was just thinking... if Misono-senpai was here, he'd know what to do."  
  
The room fell silent. None of them looked at each other. The lack of Misono's presence was so alive in the room that it took physical form, casting a heavy shadow on all their spirits.  
  
Finally Lily gave a sigh and a smile, resting a comforting hand on Tetsu's shoulder. "You miss him, don't you, Tetsu-kun?"  
  
Tetsu nodded without hesitation. "Yeah," he said quietly. "He's our brain. He made all our plans for us. And I dunno about you guys, but... I can't make plans. Now that I don't have him to think for me, I dunno what to do."  
  
He sounded so small, so helpless that Lily instantly wrapped an arm around him while Hugh gave him a hearty pat on the back. "Fear not, my friend!" he declared proudly. "You still have my brilliance with you, remember that!"  
  
Tetsu lightened up a little. "That's true! Thanks, Hugh. You always know what to say."  
  
Mahiru glanced from one to the other. Determination lit up in his brown eyes, burning and stubborn, hot and flickering and growing brighter and stronger with every second. "Alright, let's go!" he declared. "I'm not really sure what to do yet, but thinking simply we can't just sit here and do nothing! Let's go to Misono's house and try to talk to his father. Maybe he'll listen to us if we all work together!"  
  
Lily's smile brightened. "That's the spirit, Mahiru-kun!"  
  
Mahiru looked into the group, happy faces gazing back at him, encouraged and determined. "Let's all stay here for today," he said with a glance at the clock. "If we start for Misono's place today we won't be there before midnight. And early tomorrow morning we're all heading out! Sound like a plan?"  
  
Kuro groaned at the "early tomorrow morning" part, but everyone else looked excited, nodding in agreement. "Sure thing, I can stay," Tetsu said, digging through his pockets to find his phone. "Just gotta call my sis so she can drop my stuff here."  
  
"And if all goes well," Lily added, also pulling out his phone, "we may not even have to take the train tomorrow."  
  
\---  
  
Misono put down his book and jumped from his chair.  
  
This time it wasn't his phone ringing that had caught his attention. In fact, it wasn't a noise at all. It was something else, something that had brushed the edges of his consciousness, so vague that he couldn't even tell what exactly it was.  
  
Standing up, he looked around the room. It was quiet and peaceful; nothing seemed wrong or strange, nothing moving or out of place. And yet... what had that been just now? Had he imagined it? He wasn't one to imagine things for no reason. Was the loneliness beginning to play tricks on him or– no, he wasn't lonely. It had to be something else.  
  
He turned from side to side, from wall to wall, searching and searching again. At first glance nothing seemed wrong, but–  
  
He blinked. What was that?  
  
Had a shadow just passed outside the window? Lightning-fast and blurry, almost too quick to notice, but...  
  
Stumbling and running, his feet carried him to the window. His hands closed around the handle, trying to rattle and pry it open until it flew open with a clatter. He staggered backwards and nearly fell but caught himself at the last second, sprinting to the open window and standing on his tip-toes to peer outside.  
  
At first glance nothing seemed wrong. The garden was lying peacefully under the afternoon sun, a vast blue sky overhead, shades of green and white and the bright hues of colorful flowerbeds stretching out below. There was no shadow anywhere. Misono frowned. Had it been a bird? No, it had been too big for a bird, or any other kind of flying creature. Some other kind of animal, maybe? There didn't seem to be any people around. The only one he could see was one of the maids, hanging up fresh laundry in a more distant part of the garden. Misono squinted. She seemed unfamiliar... how long had she been around the house?  
  
She must have noticed his gaze on her, because she looked up and turned around, and for a second their gazes met. Misono shuddered. That face... he had seen that face before! But where–  
  
The maid bowed and gave a slight smile. "Good afternoon, young master."  
  
"G-Good afternoon," Misono stammered back. Had he been imagining things? Or was his memory just getting worse? He definitely couldn't remember a maid with a long black braid around the house. But that face... Was he mixing things up in his head? Maybe she just looked like someone else he knew. Yes, that had to be it.  
  
But then what had been the shadow outside the window? Had it really been his imagination after all?  
  
He shook his head.  _Must have imagined it,_  he thought. Maybe it had been a stray leaf, or a bird, or something else his bored, lonely mind had made bigger than it actually was.  
  
And then he spotted it. Lying tucked between the window and the frame, lightly fluttering in the wind, was a small slip of paper, so tiny he had completely overlooked it at first. A coincidence? Or had someone put it there?  
  
Reaching over, he pulled it out, nearly catching his fingers between window and frame. There was a single sentence scribbled down on it in his own ink pen. When had someone else used his pen? Had anyone been in his room lately?  
  
He skimmed it over, and suddenly the note felt like lead in his hands.  
  
 _Misono, your family is lying._  
  
\---  
  
The black-haired maid finished hanging up the laundry, walked back into the house, and disappeared into one of the staff bathrooms. She glanced from side to side until she was alone, then she leaned back against the wall and took off her wig, revealing a mop of light rose underneath.  
  
"This wig is rather hot," she said quietly to herself. "This is a problem."  
  
Ruffling through her hair and shaking it out, she splashed her face with water, put her wig back on, and walked back into the corridor outside, ready to take over the next task. This was a rough job, but what was about to happen soon was bound to be even rougher.  
  
\---  
  
"Good morning, everyone! Our ride has arrived!"  
  
Lily's voice startled them from their sleep, much too bright and several hours too early. Even Mahiru groaned as he lifted his head from the pillow to squint at Lily's cheerfully smiling form, fully clothed, styled and otherwise ready to head out.  
  
"Just a minute," he mumbled, sitting up in his bed and glancing around the room. He had brought out all the spare futons he had, and still it had become rather cramped. Lily's futon was rolled up and hidden in the closet already, but Kuro and Hugh were still fast asleep next to him; in the room next door Tetsu was lying in what was technically Kuro's bed for the month, but Mahiru had managed to talk his roommate into giving it up for their guests. None of them looked very awake, let alone ready to go anywhere.  
  
"Good morning," Mahiru said around a huge yawn, squinting up at Lily. "How are you up already?"  
  
Lily looked at him like he didn't understand the question. "It's a beautiful morning!" he said cheerfully, and Mahiru groaned at the brightness of his mood. "The sun is up already, so why shouldn't we be? Come on, Mahiru-kun, everyone, let's head out!"  
  
Mahiru blinked at the window behind him. The sky was blue-grayish and cloudy and looking like it was about to rain; the only trace of the sun was the milky stripe of silver oozing around the horizon. Mahiru wouldn't exactly call himself a pessimist, but even he wouldn't go as far as to call this... whatever this was a beautiful morning.  
  
Still, it would be rude to keep their ride waiting, so he groaned, yawned, peeled himself out of his blanket and got out of bed, shivering at the sudden cold. "Everyone, get up," he called. "You heard Lily, our ride's here!"  _At five in the morning,_  he added unwillingly.  
  
Kuro groaned and tucked his head under the pillow. "I'm not going," he mumbled. "Someone's gotta watch the house while you guys are gone, right?"  
  
"Forget it!" Suddenly feeling awake, Mahiru marched over Hugh's futon to grab Kuro's blanket, pull it off him, and grab his shivering and complaining roommate to yank him upright. "You're coming with us, you lazy creature! We might need your help getting Misono out of there so get up already!"  
  
Kuro yawned and slumped against Mahiru's shoulder, on the verge of falling asleep again. "You just gotta talk to his dad, right?" he mumbled, closing his eyes. "I'm not a talker anyway... can't deal..."  
  
And with that he was asleep again. Mahiru sighed, lifted him up as best as he could, and carried him out of the room. Kuro's arms snaked around him in his sleep, holding on, and if the situation hadn't been so strange Mahiru would have laughed. They had to look strange, Kuro clinging to him like an oversized baby koala, nuzzling into his shoulder and snoring quietly as Mahiru tried to drag him around.  
  
Dropping him none too gently on the nearest chair and startling him awake, Mahiru walked over to the room where Tetsu was sleeping, ready to knock on the door and wake him. He didn't have to. As soon as his footsteps approached the door opened, and Tetsu emerged, looking a little drowsy but fully clothed and ready to leave.  
  
"That was fast," Mahiru said, surprised. "Good morning!"  
  
"Good morning," Tetsu replied, sounding very much awake. "We're leaving?"  
  
"Yeah... although it'll still take a moment before I get certain people to wake up." Mahiru threw an exasperated glance towards Kuro, who was nodding off in his chair again. "So there's no rush, you know?"  
  
"Oh, okay." Was Mahiru imagining things, or did Tetsu look almost... disappointed? His eyes had darkened, and the way he glanced down at the ground wasn't like him at all.  
  
"Hey," Mahiru said, "something wrong?"  
  
Tetsu hesitated for a moment, then his expression relaxed. "Just kinda worried," he said. "I wanna get to Misono-senpai as fast as possible, ya know?"  
  
"I do." Mahiru smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, I feel the same. And I'm pretty sure the others do too."  
  
Kuro gave a loud yawn as if he wanted to disagree, but Mahiru shot a glare in his direction and he quickly closed his mouth and scrambled up. "Even Kuro," Mahiru said, still glaring and daring him to say anything. "So don't worry. We'll hurry up and get ready as fast as we can!"  
  
As if on cue Lily and Hugh reappeared from Mahiru's room. Hugh was still sleepy and rubbing his eyes, but he was already dressed and mumbling something about brushing his teeth and breakfast. Mahiru opened his mouth to suggest preparing a quick breakfast in the kitchen, but Lily was faster, smiling and pointing in the direction of the door.  
  
"Don't worry," he said gently. "While you are getting ready I'll head out and buy breakfast for all of us. We can eat in the car."  
  
And before Mahiru could say anything he started walking towards the door. Hurried footsteps chased after him, and a moment later Tetsu fell into stride next to him. "I'm coming with you."  
  
Lily smiled. "Thank you very much, Tetsu-kun!"  
  
Hugh disappeared in the bathroom to brush his teeth, and Mahiru busied himself with packing everyone's things together. By now he was feeling awake, tense even. He wondered what Misono was doing right now. Was he doing all right? Was he lonely? Was he worried? Would it really help to talk to his father? What if it didn't? He still wasn't sure what to say when they met him. Would Misono's father even listen to them, or would they all be kicked out without a word?  
  
A hand grabbed the strap of the bag he'd been about to pick up, lifting it out of his hands. Kuro's face peeked over his shoulder, still tired and less than happy but at least awake. "Hey, Mommy," he said. "Something wrong? You look kinda stressed."  
  
Mahiru blinked at him. Sleepy red eyes blinked back, seemingly casual on the surface, trying and failing to hide the concern underneath. He smiled. Kuro really knew him too well by now.  
  
"I'm fine," he said gently. "Just a little worried about Misono is all. I hope we'll be able to do something when we get there..."  
  
Kuro looked at him for a little longer, then he sighed heavily. "Ah, what a pain," he mumbled. "What's with you? You always rush in without a plan and never worried about it before. Can't deal."  
  
"Kuro..." Mahiru met Kuro's red eyes, and suddenly his worries seemed almost trivial compared to the warm rush of happiness tingling in his chest. "Are you telling me not to worry?"  
  
Mahiru half expected Kuro to make another excuse and poke fun at him again, but he didn't. Instead he glanced down, his cheeks tinging pink as he muttered, "You're a pain when you're worried. Someone's gotta stay calm when everyone's freaking out."  
  
He didn't deny it.  
  
A big smile spread over Mahiru's face. Laughing, he reached up and wrapped one arm around Kuro's shoulders, ruffling his hair with the other. "Thanks a lot, Kuro!" he said. "You just made me feel a lot better!"  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro mumbled as he slowly pulled away from Mahiru's affectionate grasp. His face was bright red.  
  
For a moment they both looked at each other, not saying a word, then Kuro lowered his head, mumbling something about clothes, and disappeared to the back of the room. Mahiru finished packing the bags just as the doorbell rang and Lily and Tetsu returned with bags full of warm buns and steaming coffee and hot chocolate. Hugh emerged from the bathroom, ready to leave, and a moment later Kuro appeared too, dressed in his favorite hoodie and the same old jeans he always wore. Mahiru made a mental note to get him some new clothes when all this was over.  
  
"Shall we go?" he asked, and everyone nodded.  
  
They squeezed into the elevator and stepped outside to find themselves face to face with a dark limousine they had never seen before. It was huge and modern and perfectly out of place in this simple part of the city, and none of them had any doubts that this was the ride Lily had mentioned earlier.  
  
As if on cue the door opened, and a tired-looking young man emerged from the driver's seat. "G'morning," he mumbled and yawned like he had been driving all night, and Mahiru guessed that wasn't far from the truth. "So you're all Antenna's friends?"  
  
"Antenna?" Mahiru repeated, mildly surprised.  
  
"Misono," Lily replied like it was nothing. "Good morning, Dodo-san," he said out loud, smiling brightly. "I'm very sorry to call you here so early in the morning... Did you have a safe trip here?"  
  
"Aside from getting stuck in traffic for two hours and the GPS almost sending me to the other side of the city, yeah, was alright. Night drives aren't that bad." Dodo yawned again. "Come on everyone, let's head out before the streets get blocked up again."  
  
They crowded into the car, squeezing into the seats one by one. Somehow they all managed to fit in, and as soon as they all had made themselves more or less comfortable and fastened their seat belts Dodo let the engine roar to life, and off they were, drifting through the streets of the still-sleeping city.  
  
Lily, who had taken his place in the passenger seat and more space than the rest of them combined, smiled cheerily and turned around in his seat to pass around hot drinks and food. Mahiru gladly accepted a cup of coffee to stay awake and started munching on a bun while Kuro took his hot chocolate in his hands, slurping on it while trying not to doze off. Tetsu and Hugh exchanged halves of different-flavored buns, quietly chewing away. Nobody said a word; aside from Lily no one was too cheerful, thinking about what they were heading off to do.  
  
After some time they all finished eating, and one by one they started nodding off, closing their eyes and resting their heads against the windows or the seats in front of them. Mahiru was the last one awake as the car was filled with deep, steady breathing. Kuro mumbled something and slumped over, his head resting heavy on Mahiru's shoulder.  
  
Giving a slight smile, Mahiru leaned against Kuro's side, resting his chin on his sleeping head. Kuro's deep breaths were calm and soothing, and little by little Mahiru also found himself drifting off as the car rushed through unfamiliar streets.  
  
 _Hang in there, Misono,_  he thought.  _We're on our way._  
  
\---  
  
Misono stared at the note, wide-eyed.  
  
What was this? What did it mean? Was this a joke?  
  
He flipped it back and forth, searching for something, anything. A clue. An explanation. Anything that would help this make sense. A hidden clue, another bit of writing, anything. There was nothing. The only thing on the note was the one single sentence.  
  
 _Misono, your family is lying._  
  
What did that mean? Lying about what? He couldn't think of anything he knew that his family could have lied about. And why his whole family? What exactly did that note even mean by his family? His father? His mother, wherever she was? The household? Lily? Mikuni?  
  
He shook his head. This had to be a joke.  
  
He shouldn't pay attention to this note. It was probably best to throw it away and never think of it again; if he tried to find out what it meant he'd only make a fool of himself, and he didn't want to waste his time snooping around and following a clue that was bound to lead nowhere.  
  
But... what if it wasn't?  
  
Last night's dream flickered through his mind. It was a stretch, but... could that note have been about  _that time?_  Could it be that whatever had happened back then wasn't quite the way he thought it was?  
  
He tried to brush it off. That would be too much of a coincidence. How should a dream have predicted this note ending up in his window? And if the person leaving the note had written it because of his dream, then how had they known about it? Had he been talking in his sleep? But then who had been close enough to hear him? Had someone been standing under the window? Had that been open in the first place? He couldn't remember. But it couldn't have been a member of his family, that much was for sure. Otherwise why would they have written to him that his family was lying?  
  
Logically, it made no sense. It couldn't have been his family. Nobody else from the household had been close enough to him to hear about the dream last night, if he even had talked in his sleep at all. And a coincidence was too unlikely. The note had to refer to something else, if it wasn't just a whole lot of nonsense written by a bored prankster in the first place.  
  
 _It's a prank,_  he tried to tell himself.  _Pay it no mind._  
  
Tossing the note on his desk, he sat back down to continue reading. His eyes skimmed over the paragraphs, trying to remember where he had been when that... whatever it was had interrupted him at the window. It was no good. He couldn't remember. Sighing, he tried to reread the whole page, only to stare at the first sentence for five whole minutes without comprehending a word.  
  
His thoughts kept straying back to the note on his desk.  
  
 _Pay it no mind,_  he tried to tell himself again, hands gripping the armrests of his chair.  _It isn't worth the trouble. You got too caught up in your guesses and nonsensical theories. That's all it is._  
  
But he could at least try to find out who had sent it, right? That much would be useful even if it was a prank.  
  
Sighing, he put his book down and got up, picking up the note where it still lay on the desk. His eyes rested on the writing, comparing it to all the handwritings he knew. Not his father's, that much was for sure; it was too neat and tidy. It wasn't Lily's either; Lily's handwriting was flowing and flowery whereas this one was simple, without any unnecessary details while still managing to be elegant. It didn't resemble Mitsuki's tiny, almost printed-looking letters, and it wasn't like Mikuni's almost illegible hieroglyphs either; other handwritings Misono couldn't think of. It still looked vaguely familiar, he thought, but he couldn't put a name on it.  
  
Someone in the household, maybe? One of the countless servants or maids? In that case he'd be stuck searching forever. He couldn't compare all the handwritings in the house to the one in the note without attracting attention. Would that be even worth it? What if it hadn't been someone from the household after all? Or what if someone from the household had left the note here but it had been written by somebody else? How many people did he know outside the house whose handwritings he had seen before? Only the ones from school, and those were all at home and shouldn't be in the area.  
  
...Right?  
  
He shook his head. Of course. There was no one nearby who could possibly have left that note here, except for the members of the household. The estate was too well guarded to allow any strangers in here.  
  
Which left him back at zero. Who could it have been? And what could they mean?  
  
He sighed. Looked like this puzzle was unsolvable for the time being. He'd have to wait and see if there were any other clues or just forget about the matter and call it a prank. Why was he thinking so much about this in the first place? He had to be bored. Maybe he should call Lily and ask if they could go somewhere, or even just play a round of chess together. His father didn't want him spending time with his friends, but surely he wouldn't mind Lily, would he?  
  
Picking up his phone, he tried to remember where the list of contacts was, opened it, scrolled through until he found Lily's name, tapped it, and pressed the call button, holding the phone to his ear.  
  
"Hello, Misono," Lily's voice chimed from the speakers a second later. "How rare for you to call me! Don't tell me you're finally growing out of your fear of making calls?"  
  
Misono flushed red. "W-What fear?" he stuttered, glad that nobody was around to see his embarrassed face. "I dislike it! It makes me uncomfortable is all. Don't spread rumors around, Lily!"  
  
Lily gave a soft chuckle. "Of course, of course." Misono had no doubts that he didn't believe a single word.  
  
"Still," Lily continued, sounding so moved Misono could almost picture him wiping away half-imaginary tears. "I am proud of you for calling me all of a sudden... What can I do for you?"  
  
He was making it even more embarrassing, sounding all dramatic like that. So embarrassing that Misono was half-tempted to hang up on him again.  
  
"I'm bored," he grumbled instead, trying to sound as aloof as he could. "Are you free at the moment?"  
  
Lily made an awkward pause.  
  
"Well," he said at last, and as he spoke his voice sounded much darker than before, gloomier. "Unfortunately, I'm currently away from home. I'm out on an errand and will not be back until tomorrow... I am very sorry!" He gave another chuckle, but this time it sounded fake. "Be good until then, will you?"  
  
Misono huffed indignantly. "Don't talk to me like I'm a child! Where are you? Why didn't you tell me you were going away?"  
  
"I..." Lily's voice trailed off. "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk now. I'll explain everything to you when I return home, all right? See you tomorrow! Goodbye."  
  
With that he hung up, and Misono was left staring at the phone.  
  
What had that been about? Had Lily just cut their conversation off? What had he not been telling him? Where was he? Why hadn't he told him before leaving and simply disappeared for a whole day? That had never happened before. Was Lily hiding something from him? Did he know something Misono didn't?  
  
The words on the note flickered back through his head.  _Your family is lying._  
  
No, he wouldn't think about that. He was sure Lily had to have his own good reasons for not being there, and Misono would just have to remind him of his promise to explain everything when he came home tomorrow. Then everything would make sense. It was probably a perfectly mundane reason anyway. Maybe Lily was planning some sort of surprise again and hadn't told Misono knowing how bad he was at keeping secrets. It had happened before, so why not now? The only reason why he was feeling so suspicious was this stupid, unfounded, vague note on his window.  
  
Oh well, fine. It wasn't like Lily was the only person in the world he could spend time with. Maybe he'd go look for Dodo and ask him to drive him somewhere interesting.  
  
But no matter where he looked, Dodo wasn't there. He wasn't at his father's office, he wasn't sneaking food in the kitchen, and he wasn't in the garage either. His car was missing too. Misono tried to call him, but no one answered.  
  
Weird. Dodo rarely went off anywhere on his own.  
  
Frowning, Misono walked back into the house, wondering where everyone had gone. He was so lost in thought that he almost didn't notice the figure standing in front of him until he almost knocked into it and stumbled back, startled.  
  
"Mitsuki-san," he stuttered out, recognizing his father's secretary. "Have you seen Dodo-san anywhere?"  
  
"Dodo?" She frowned as if he had said a very ugly word, blushing lightly. "No, I haven't. He said something about an important call earlier and disappeared without a trace. He said he'd be back tomorrow." She shook her head. "What is he thinking? He's so irresponsible! He can't just disappear from here without warning, this is his job!"  
  
Misono left her to her own devices and walked on through the garden, not paying much attention to where he was going. His head was buzzing with thoughts. First Lily, and now Dodo. Both had just disappeared without warning when they never did, both hadn't said where they were going, and both were supposed to be back tomorrow. What was all that about? Were both things related? What were they hiding?  
  
 _Your family is lying._  
  
Suddenly the sentence didn't seem so unlikely anymore.  
  
Misono kept walking until he reached a door, looking around and wondering where he was. He rarely went to this part of the mansion. This had to be the wing that was now deserted, the wing where his and Mikuni's rooms had been when they were little.  
  
Following a sudden impulse, he reached for the door and tried to push it open. It wouldn't budge. He pushed harder. It still didn't move. The door had been locked, and Misono didn't know who had the key. Was it his father? Why was this part of the house even locked in the first place? Was someone hiding something in there?  
  
Back when Mikuni had left and Misono's room had been relocated to a different part of the house... that had been for safety reasons, right? But then why was  _this_  part of the mansion locked if there was no one inside? It was almost like someone was hiding something in there. But who? Who had locked it up all those years ago? Or had it just been recently and Misono hadn't noticed? Why had he even stayed away from this place for so long in the first place?  
  
All those years ago... what exactly had happened here?  
  
He was just about to turn back and leave when something lowered itself on an almost invisible thread until it was dangling in front of his nose. Another note.  
  
Misono snatched it, jumping back to see who had let it down. There was no one. The windows and roof were empty. The thread fell limply to the ground.  
  
Swallowing, Misono untied the slip of paper and unfolded it to read another simple sentence.  
  
 _I told you so._  
  
Up on the roof above his head the shadow of a maid hurried off and disappeared.


	36. Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily wouldn't lie to him. Lily wouldn't keep secrets.

Mahiru woke up to find himself in a familiar-looking environment. He was still sitting in Dodo's car, Kuro leaning on his shoulder, fast asleep. Hugh was dozed off in the middle, and at the other window Tetsu was gazing out, as if hoping that they would get to Misono's house faster that way. Lily and Dodo were still in the front seats, talking in hushed voices.  
  
Outside the sun had risen over their heads, and the streets of the town looked they were going through looked exactly like the area around the school. They had to be close now. A little longer, and they would find themselves on Misono's door.  
  
"Where are we?" Mahiru asked quietly, yawning. "We're almost there, aren't we?"  
  
Lily turned around in the front seat. "Oh," he said with a smile, "you're awake, Mahiru-kun? Good morning!"  
  
"Yeah," Dodo's voice came from the driver's seat. "We're almost there. Thank goodness, because if we had to go any further I'd fall asleep on the wheel and drive us into a tree."  
  
Lily gave a soft chuckle. "Thank you for driving all night and half the day for us, Dodo-san. You deserve the rest now."  
  
"Damn right I do. But how much you wanna bet Mitsuki's gonna chew me out when I show up?" He gave a huge yawn and groaned, continuing in a hectic falsetto. "Where have you been all night? What have you been doing? Why didn't you tell us? This is your job, you can't just disappear whenever you want, yada yada yada!"  
  
"Well," Lily said good-naturedly, "she'll probably say all that because she worries about you..."  
  
Dodo groaned quietly and said nothing.  
  
"Is it still far?" Tetsu asked from the window. "We're almost there, right?"  
  
"Yes! Just a few more minutes, Tetsu-kun." Lily smiled understandingly. "You can already begin to wake the other two up."  
  
Tetsu nodded, visibly glad to be given something to do, and gently nudged Hugh awake. "Wake up," he said quietly. "Wake up, Hugh. We're almost at senpai's house."  
  
Hugh made a small sleepy noise and yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Hmm... And I was having such a delightful dream..."  
  
"You can dream again later," Mahiru replied over Kuro's head. "For now we all need to talk to Misono's dad together... hey, Kuro, you too! Wake up, my shoulder's all stiff already."  
  
Kuro groaned and shifted sleepily, obviously not realizing where he was. "Five more minutes... I'll pass on the breakfast, thanks."  
  
"What breakfast? It's afternoon! Wake up, dammit!"  
  
Kuro gave another sleepy mumble and snuggled closer to Mahiru's shoulder, clinging to his arm. Lily snickered in the front seat. Tetsu and Hugh looked at them and then at each other.  
  
Mahiru flushed bright red and shook Kuro violently. "Hey," he shouted, "wake up! We're at Misono's place already! And who says you can use my shoulder as your pillow, geez!"  
  
Apparently the situation seemed to have caught up with Kuro's sleep-riddled mind, and he blinked awake, straightening up with a start. His face was very red. "Awake now," he mumbled, not looking at Mahiru. "Don't wake your poor roommate so roughly. Can't deal."  
  
"Good." Mahiru was blushing too, stubbornly trying to ignore Lily's chuckles and Tetsu and Hugh's curious looks. "How much longer till we're there? Can we see Misono's house already, Dodo-san?"  
  
As if on cue, Dodo hit the brakes and turned into a driveway of the most gigantic mansion Mahiru had ever seen in his life.  
  
"Uh..." he stuttered, trying to stare at everything at the same time until he was dizzy. "I-Is this... the place? Just what on earth are Misono's parents?"  
  
Lily smiled understandingly. "Right, you have never been here, have you, Mahiru-kun, Tetsu-kun? The Alicein family has been very rich and influential for generations. Misono and Mikado-san are descended from a long line of high-ranking politicians."  
  
"They're pretty amazing," Tetsu said quietly. Kuro and Hugh said nothing. In fact, they almost looked like they had been here before and were trying to orient themselves and figure out which way to go.  
  
The car stopped in a spacious garage, and Dodo got out to open the doors, letting them outside. "That's as far as I go," he said, stifling a yawn. "Good luck, everyone. If you need me, I'll be passed out in my bed."  
  
Lily smiled kindly. "Thank you very much for your hard work, Dodo-san."  
  
He stumbled off, leaving the others alone.  
  
"Very well," Lily said, his smile turning forced, "if you would follow me now, please. This way."  
  
He led them out of the garage and through the most impressive garden Mahiru had ever seen– no, it wasn't a garden; it was a park. Rich green grass alternated with bright, colorful flowerbeds, tall, elegant trees framing the scenery, and the paved pathways leading through this paradise all met at a tall, elegant fountain in front of the house. Every so often they caught sight of a maid or servant scurrying around running errands, but other than that the place was quiet, almost too peaceful under the blue summer sky.  
  
A face appeared in one of the windows as they approached the mansion's main entrance, only to quickly disappear again so quickly that Mahiru wondered if he had imagined it. He brushed it off. Right now he didn't have time to think about that; he should think about what to say to Misono's father when they met.  
  
"There we are," Lily said, walking up to the door and pulling out his keys. "Let us hope Mikado-san is still home–"  
  
He didn't need his keys.  
  
Before he or anyone else had the chance to touch it, the door opened, and stepping outside was a middle-aged man with glasses and a long ponytail falling over his shoulder.  
  
"Mi..." Lily paled a little as he forced a smile on his face. "Mikado-san. What a coincidence, I was just going to see you..."  
  
Alicein Mikado didn't return the smile. His eyes roamed over the unbidden guests, one after the other, his gaze darkening with every second.  
  
"Lily," he said, and his voice was sharp with anger and concern. "Where have you been for so long? We were all worried when we heard you were gone, you bastard! And who are these people?"  
  
Before Lily could say anything Mahiru stepped forward. His voice was clear with determination, his mind free of all second thoughts as the words left his mouth, nothing but the pure, uncondensed truth. "We're Misono's friends!" he declared. "We're here to see him!"  
  
Alicein Mikado's eyes focused on him for a long, silent moment, his expression unreadable.  
  
"Friends?" he repeated, and his voice was cold and strained, shadows of panic glinting underneath the ice. "My son has no friends. Who are you? Explain yourselves before I call security on you!"  
  
Mahiru stumbled back, wide-eyed. "What the–?!" he stuttered out, unable to believe what Misono's father had just said. What was he talking about? He had to know Misono had friends at school, right? Was he pretending not to know?  
  
"What are you talking about?" he burst out, shocked and furious. "Of course your son has friends! Hasn't he told you? You can ask him, he'll tell you all our names and–"  
  
"I said he has no friends! My son doesn't know any of you, so stay away from him before you get him into any more danger!" Mikado glared down at him, his eyes full of frantic concern and fear. "Maybe he knew you once, or thought he did, but that has changed. I cannot allow any of you to pull him into any more life-threatening situations."  
  
Mahiru clenched his fists. "We didn't–! At least hear us out, will you?"  
  
A hand on his shoulder stopped him. Mahiru paused, turning around to watch Tetsu step past him, standing face to face with Mikado, looming almost a head taller than him.  
  
"Sir," he said quietly, but Mahiru didn't miss the worry in his voice. "I promise we won't get your son in trouble. If anything we'll protect him." He swallowed. "He's very precious to us too, so we'd never let anything happen to him."  
  
Mikado looked at him, then at the others. They all nodded.  
  
For a second it looked like his expression softened. The fear faded from his eyes, his features relaxing for barely more than a heartbeat. Then his eyes froze over once more, and he took a step back. "No," he said. "Anyone could tell me that and use it as an excuse to get close to Misono and hurt him. I won't believe you. Misono is the only family I have left and you will not take him from me!"  
  
"The only?" Mahiru repeated, surprised. "But what about Mikuni-san? I thought he and Misono were brothers–"  
  
Mikado's eyes turned to steel. "I have no son named Mikuni."  
  
Mahiru stared at him, utterly confused. "No son...?" he asked. "But I thought... Mikuni-san always calls Misono his brother, and your last name–  _mmph?!_ "  
  
He couldn't finish the sentence. Lily had clamped a hand over his mouth, giving him an apologetic smile as he whispered, "I'm sorry, Mahiru-kun. It is better not to mention Mikuni-san in this house."  
  
Mahiru simply stared up at him, no longer understanding a thing.  
  
"Leave now," Mikado continued, turning to walk back into the house. "You cannot talk to Misono anymore. And Lily–" He stopped walking to glance back over his shoulder. "Not a word to him about our visitors."  
  
Lily looked like he wanted to protest, then a shadow of resignation fell over his eyes, and he let out a weak sigh. "Yes, Mikado-san."  
  
The door fell closed.  
  
They all stood in silence for a moment, then Lily sighed, letting go of Mahiru's mouth and gazing at the door through which Mikado had disappeared. "What a shame," he said, so quietly Mahiru barely caught the words. "I only wonder who warned him of our arrival."  
  
\---  
  
It was not a coincidence that Misono was sitting and reading on the balcony right next to his father's office. It also wasn't a coincidence that he kept glancing over every few moments, looking out for movements, listening for footsteps. His heart was pounding at the thought of what he was about to do. For the first time in his life he felt like a thief in his own house.  
  
He still couldn't believe what he was planning, but he had to know. He needed answers. And he had a feeling that he'd never get them if he couldn't find a way to unlock the door to the deserted wing and get into his and Mikuni's old rooms.  
  
The paper of the second note rustled in his hand.  _I told you so._  Whoever had written it must have been watching him closely, so closely that they had observed the change in his feelings. Who could that be? Someone he knew? A stranger? Misono wasn't sure if he should really trust that person. But at the moment he wasn't really sure if he should trust anyone. Why was that door locked? Where had Lily and Dodo gone? Why wasn't anyone telling him anything? And why was it all happening now that he was already cut off from his friends?  
  
The click of a door opening cut through his thoughts. He straightened up, shutting the book in his hands and listening. A female voice spoke in a hushed tone, a voice that he faintly recognized but couldn't put a name on. His father replied something he didn't catch, but he sounded frantic, and a second later two sets of footsteps hurried through the corridor and down the stairs. Then the house was silent once more.  
  
Misono crept up to the balcony door, peering inside. The corridor was empty. Not a trace of his father or the person he had been talking to. The office door stood wide open, as if his father had been in such a hurry that he had forgotten about it. Misono frowned. That never happened; his father always made meticulously sure this door was always shut. What had made him run off so quickly that he had forgotten about the door?  
  
Careful not to make his footsteps heard, still monitoring his surroundings and listening closely for any movements, Misono crept into the corridor, sneaking up to the open door and glimpsing inside.  
  
The room was empty. It looked like it had been left in a hurry; the window was still open, the curtains billowing in the wind that picked up stray sheets of paper from the desk and sent them flying to the floor. The desk was scattered in papers; documents were lying spread out all over the place until not a single inch of mahogany was visible underneath, and his father's pen had rolled off to one side, still opened. Misono inched closer. If he remembered correctly, if he was lucky, then the second desk drawer from above should contain–  
  
 _I knew it._  
  
Glancing around, Misono stooped down and snatched a heavy bundle of keys from the desk, stuffing it into his pocket as he quickly pushed the drawer shut and straightened up. Still no one nearby. Now he just had to get out of here and–  
  
"Young master, what are you doing here?"  
  
Misono froze. All blood drained from his face. Unmoving, unblinking, he held his breath as his wide eyes followed the voice to its origin.  
  
"Mi-Mitsuki-san!" he stuttered out as he recognized the face, gasping a breath of relief. It wasn't his father, at least. And it wasn't someone who would question why he was here or suspect him of doing anything forbidden. "H-How long have you been here?"  
  
"I just got here..." Mitsuki stepped into the office, looking around, and Misono hoped and prayed that she wouldn't notice the way his right pocket had bulged out under the weight of the keys. "Where's Mikado-san?"  
  
"He just left," Misono answered, trying to keep his breath from hitching and his voice from shaking. "He seemed to be in a hurry... I think he went downstairs with someone."  
  
Mitsuki paused for a moment, then she nodded. "All right," she said as she hurried off and disappeared. "Thank you! I wonder what's got into him? Thanks, young master!"  
  
Misono waited until her footsteps resounded through the corridor and disappeared, then he quickly slipped out of the office and hurried off to his room.  
  
Slamming the door behind him, he leaned against it, panting, trying to level his breath. His hands were trembling, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He couldn't believe himself. He couldn't believe he had just snuck into his father's office and stolen something so important and valuable. He felt like a criminal. And yet... he was glad it had worked.  
  
Steadying himself, he pulled the keys out of his pocket, inspecting them one by one. Most of them looked familiar. He instantly recognized the keys for the garden gate and the main door, as well as the ones for the garage, the basement and his father's office. Some others looked more unfamiliar. He turned them in his hands, wondering if they might fit or if he could rule them out so he could only try a key or two on the mysterious locked door. The less time he spent there, the lower his chances of getting caught.  
  
In the end he managed to rule out all but two. His heart picking up speed in his chest again, he stuffed the keys back into his pocket, opened his door a crack to peer outside, and slipped through the corridors without making a sound, walking faster and faster until he was just short of running.  
  
Avoiding the main entrance, he snuck out through a side door, finding himself in a lonely part of the garden. Misono relaxed a little and buried his hands in his pockets, taking a look around. If he looked nonchalant enough, maybe he'd actually make it through the locked door without anyone suspecting him.  
  
He turned a corner and the deserted wing came in sight. Almost there. Now he just had to get there without–  
  
Something brushed the edge of his vision.  
  
Misono whipped around, his eyes flitting from side to side. Everything looked perfectly normal. Was he getting paranoid? He must have seen a bird or stray leaf that had fluttered past him. Or maybe it was just his imagination.  
  
But then why did he feel like he was being watched?  
  
 _It's nothing,_  he tried to tell himself, forcing his pounding heart to calm down and stop thudding against his chest. He was nervous about doing something forbidden, that was all. It had made him nervous and jumpy and prone to seeing prying eyes behind every corner. There was no such thing as the feeling of being watched; one could not sense another person's gaze without seeing their eyes or expecting them to look one's way. It was impossible. Sixth senses weren't a thing.  
  
He knew all that. And yet he couldn't help wondering if this wasn't a sign to head back and give up, after all.  
  
No, he wouldn't head back. If there was an important secret hidden behind that door, he had a right to know. And if there wasn't, well, then he'd just put the keys back into the drawer and be satisfied knowing there was nothing his father and Lily and everyone else had been hiding from him. If he didn't muster the courage now, he might never do it.  
  
Swallowing hard and still forcing himself to ignore the invisible gaze tingling at the back of his neck, Misono went on, walking faster and faster. His heart was racing, his breathing flat and much too fast. The keys felt heavier and heavier with every step.  
  
Then, finally, he was at the door, and still nothing was in his way.  
  
Misono held his breath, looking around and listening. The garden around him was silent except for a few singing birds and chirping crickets and the faint murmurs of the fountain in the distance. Not a soul was nearby.  
  
 _Now or never._  
  
He pulled the keys out of his pocket, careful not to make a noise. Slowly, gently, his trembling fingers searched through the bundle, trying to remember which ones he had singled out to try on the door. Oh, right this one... and that one. Right...  
  
He took a deep breath, clenched his shaking hand around the first key, and brought it up to the keyhole.  
  
It wouldn't even go in.  
  
 _The other one,_  he thought hurriedly, fidgeting, almost dropping the keys.  _So it's the other one!_  
  
He pulled out the second key, pushing it into the keyhole. It fit... but it wouldn't turn.  
  
 _Deep breaths,_  Misono thought, trying to keep his hands from trembling.  _Calm down._  He had to calm down. He couldn't stay here too long. If he kept struggling with the key, sooner or later someone would come and find him, and it would all be in vain.  
  
He swallowed, steadied his breathing, and tried again. The key wouldn't move. He pushed and pulled and struggled, but the key stayed where it was, refusing to turn even an inch.  
  
Was the lock rusty after all these years? No, that wasn't it...  
  
The second key... didn't fit either?  
  
Misono felt cold. What was the meaning of this? Was there no key for this door in the bundle? There was a key for every door in this bundle. Then where else could the key be? Had it been lost? Did his father not have it? Had he thrown it away?  
  
No, his father wouldn't do that. If there was something important still hidden inside, then his father would never have lost or thrown away the key. It had to be somewhere else. But where?  
  
Was someone else holding onto it?  
  
\---  
  
"There we are." Lily opened the door, beckoning them all inside. "I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid this is the best place for you to stay at right now. I do hope you don't mind children?"  
  
Mahiru and Tetsu shook their heads. Hugh hadn't heard the question; he was already in the middle of talking to a group of little boys questioning him about his attire. Kuro looked less than enthusiastic, but as soon as a pair of twin faces appeared in the door, his expression lit up.  
  
"Mr. Panda!" Yuri and Mari shouted, running up to him and knocking him over. "It's Mr. Panda! Mr. Panda has come to visit us!"  
  
"What, Mr. Panda?" another voice exclaimed, quickly to be followed by others as one by one, children started running up to the door to see Kuro, who was looking mildly confused.  
  
"Mr. Panda! Mr. Panda is here!"  
  
"Where's Mr. Panda?"  
  
"Hey, wait for me! I wanna say hi to Mr. Panda too!"  
  
Mahiru laughed at the pile of little girls and boys crowding over Kuro, all trying to greet and hug and high-five him at the same time. "Look at this!" he said cheerfully, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture. "You're pretty popular, huh?"  
  
Kuro gave a small resigned sigh. "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru simply laughed, and Lily smiled too. Even Kuro couldn't quite bring himself to look as tired as he probably should be in this situation, his eyes twinkling with something akin to happiness.  
  
Finally the children calmed down enough to let Kuro stand up, and he scrambled back to his feet, dusting off his clothes. Lily smiled again and beckoned the whole group inside, leading them through the orphanage and up the stairs to a few unoccupied bedrooms.  
  
"I'm sorry there was nothing better available," he said, "but it's the place closest to Misono I could find, and I suppose you would want to stay near him too while we regroup and think of a new plan?"  
  
They all nodded. Tetsu and Hugh moved into one of the rooms, Mahiru and Kuro into the one next door, all trying to make themselves as comfortable as they could in their cramped space. Lily left them alone for the time being, walking back down the stairs to check on the children, who had gone back to playing. He should probably tell Misono he was back, he realized. He had promised, after all.  
  
Tucking his hand into his pocket, he tried to pull out his phone when something else fell down on the floor. His keys. He must have not tucked them in properly earlier.  
  
He stooped down to pick them up– and paused. One of them caught his eye, one that looked as unused as it was old. A key Mikado had asked him to hold onto and never tell Misono about.  
  
Sighing, he picked up the bundle of keys and shoved it back into his pocket.  _I'm so sorry, Misono. But this is something I can't tell you about._  
  
\---  
  
The keys didn't fit. None of them did.  
  
Misono paced back and forth in his room, frowning and shaking. He didn't understand. Where had the right key gone? Did it even still exist? What was so secret that the key to it wasn't part of his father's all-encompassing bundle of keys?  
  
What should he do now?  
  
He wondered if he should look elsewhere. But where? Was it hidden somewhere? Did someone else have it? Who else could be holding onto such an important key? And if he found out who it was, how should he get his hands on it? Steal it? Maybe it was better to give up altogether...  
  
No, he couldn't do that. Whatever it was that was hidden behind that door, he had to know it. He had to find out, or it would keep bugging him, following him, haunting him forever.  
  
Should he just talk to his father? Was that the easiest way?  
  
No, definitely not an option. His father hadn't even told him about the door being locked. He had never told him a word about what had really transpired that fateful night, so why should he do it now? And how should Misono explain why he had suddenly started second-guessing everything he knew about that night in the first place?  
  
Should he ask Lily, perhaps?  
  
No, probably not an option. Lily couldn't know. Lily was his friend and his family and the closest thing he'd ever had to a brother, closer even than Mikuni himself. There was no way he would keep secrets from him. Lily would never do that. He hadn't told him why he had left yesterday, sure, but he had promised to tell him today. It was probably just some kind of surprise. Lily wouldn't even think of hiding a serious secret from him.  
  
 _Your family is lying._  
  
But his family only consisted of his father, his disappeared mother about who he didn't even know if she was still alive, Mikuni who had been banished, and Lily. If Lily wasn't lying, then–  
  
Mikuni? Should he ask Mikuni? He had been there the night it happened, hadn't he?  
  
No, no, no. No matter what happened, he would never stoop so low as to ask that bastard. Mikuni probably wouldn't tell him the truth anyway. He'd pat his head and tell him he was too young to know the story or tell him some obviously fabricated lie and insist it was the truth until Misono gave up. He wasn't going through the trouble of asking Mikuni for  _that_.  
  
Just as Misono wondered if he should give up after all, his phone gave a bright and overly loud chime.  
  
He jumped, stumbling as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. The caller ID read  _Lily_. At long last. Hadn't he promised to be back already?  
  
"Lily?" he said into the speaker. "You're late, you bastard! Where have you been?"  
  
Lily didn't answer immediately, and Misono almost thought he had heard him flinch. When he finally spoke again his voice was troubled, clouded even, as if there was something deeply concerning him and he didn't know how to talk about it.  
  
That was a first. Lily always knew what to say.  
  
"I am so sorry for the delay, Misono," he said gently, a brightness to his voice that was completely and obviously fake. "Have you been good while I was gone? You haven't been lonely, have you?"  
  
Misono had, but that wasn't solely because of Lily. "Shut up, you bastard!" he snapped. "Why would I ever be lonely without your stupid face around? I can entertain myself just fine, you bastard!" He paused momentarily to regain his breath. "And don't evade my questions! Where have you been?"  
  
"I... can't tell you."  
  
Lily's voice was so troubled, the words so uncharacteristic that Misono completely forgot to be angry. "What?"  
  
Lily swallowed audibly. "I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to say anything yet, but you'll find out soon enough." The fake cheerfulness returned to his voice. "It's a surprise, all right? So be patient a little longer, I can't spoil it you know?"  
  
It sounded like a cheap lie, and Misono honestly didn't know what to think anymore.  
  
He wanted to believe these words. Lily wouldn't hide anything important from him; that was what he had always thought, and for over sixteen years of his life that had been an unshakable truth. Lily had never hidden anything, he had never lied to him, never kept any secrets, unless you counted small things like surprise trips or Christmas presents or plans for his birthday. And he had never sounded so troubled about it. What could be so important that Lily couldn't bring himself to tell him like he usually did? Was something keeping him? Or someone? But after all these years, what could suddenly keep him from telling Misono something important?  
  
"Lily," Misono said slowly, forcing out the words one by one. "Are you hiding anything from me?"  
  
Lily was silent for a long, long, long time, so long that Misono started to wonder if he had hung up.  
  
"I'm sorry," he replied at last, giving a slow, heavy exhale. "I'd tell you immediately if I was allowed, but sadly I can't, not yet. Don't worry about me, I'm all right. I'll be back soon."  
  
Misono didn't know what else to say, so he hung up and put his phone back down.  
  
He didn't understand anything. What had happened to Lily all of a sudden? Why was he acting like this? What was he hiding? Why wasn't he allowed to tell him? Was he really not allowed, or was that a lie?  
  
Lily wouldn't lie to him. Lily wouldn't keep secrets.  
  
Lily wasn't telling him something.  
  
Lily wouldn't betray him. Lily was his family.  
  
 _Your family is lying._  
  
No. No! Lily would never do that! Lily would never hide anything from him!  
  
But then why...?  
  
It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. He didn't know what was happening, what was wrong. He didn't know what to do or what to think.  
  
All he knew was that he felt small, small and weak and incredibly lonely.  
  
\---  
  
"So it's all set?" Mahiru asked, straightening up where he sat. "You're sneaking us in tonight?"  
  
"Yes." Lily closed his eyes and smiled heavily. "I know a back entrance that's only guarded by Dodo-san, he'll let us in. I will take you to see Misono after he has returned to his room after dinner."  
  
He hated to do this, doing things behind Mikado's back, but it had to happen. They had to get Misono out before he choked to death in his gilded cage. What they would do afterwards he didn't know, but he still had some time to think. Maybe they could prove that Misono could watch himself just fine. Maybe they could catch the kidnappers and convince Mikado that the danger was gone. They'd be able to think about that when they had got him out safely. For now that was all that mattered.  
  
He was worried, of course. Worried that Misono might not want to go with them. Worried that they would get caught before they reached him. Worried that he might insist on his promise to his father or his responsibility.  
  
Worried that he might not want to go because Lily had been acting so suspicious, or because he still hadn't made up with Tetsu.  
  
He sighed. There was no point in worrying about it, he knew that. He had to go into this with confidence and make the best of whatever happened. That was all he could do.  
  
They'd just have to be extra careful tonight. Whoever had told Mikado of their arrival earlier would definitely be on the lookout again.  
  
"'Kay," Kuro mumbled, yawning and stretching, "if that's all, I'm gonna go take a nap. Wake me up when it's time to go."  
  
He stood up and started making his way towards the stairs, just to be quickly stopped by a group of little children. "Are you free right now, Mr. Panda?"  
  
"Uh... I dunno..."  
  
"Come play with us! We're playing hide and seek, come and join!"  
  
Before Kuro could protest he found himself dragged away as the others watched him go with a grin on their faces. "So much for sleeping, huh," Mahiru remarked with a laugh. "Okay, I'm heading to the convenience store to get us all some snacks. Anybody want anything special?"  
  
"Orange juice!" Hugh shouted, jumping to his feet. "No, wait. I shall grace thee with my company!"  
  
They went off, leaving Lily alone with Tetsu. The boy didn't say anything at first. He simply gazed after Mahiru and Hugh until they were gone, as if he was debating whether or not to leave with them.  
  
"Hey, uh," he said at last, looking a little awkward as he leaned close to Lily, lowering his voice, "do you need anybody to chop wood or carry heavy stuff or something? It's just, I..." He glanced down, suddenly looking very much like the child he still was. "I wanna get my mind off things, and hard work helps me."  
  
Lily placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, smiling gently. "You're worried about Misono's reaction, aren't you? You two still haven't spoken since the day of the festival, am I right?"  
  
Tetsu nodded.  
  
"Don't worry," Lily said warmly, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "Misono wouldn't refuse to leave with us because of whatever happened that day, I am sure. He seems to have long forgiven you. No, if you ask me, he was never upset with you at all."  
  
Tetsu looked up. "Really?"  
  
"Yes. He was confused is all." Lily got up to his feet. "Now come on, we shall find you some hard work to distract your mind."  
  
\---  
  
Lily was back for dinner, but for some reason he seemed... off.  
  
Misono couldn't pinpoint what exactly was wrong. Lily was simply acting strange, out of it, not at all like his usual cheerful self. His smile looked forced. His eyes flitted about nervously. He didn't talk as much as usual, and when someone tried to ask him where he had been, he averted his gaze and changed the subject. Dodo was missing, apparently still asleep in his room, and Lily wouldn't say anything about the reason for his exhaustion either. It was a conversation full of fake smiles and awkward silences.  
  
Finally Misono had enough. He pushed aside his half-finished plate without waiting for the dessert, mumbled "Thanks for the food" and hurried off to his room. He couldn't bear any more of this farce. Enough fake smiles, enough lies and excuses and sudden subject changes. He'd had enough of it all.  
  
Why wasn't Lily telling him where he had been? Why did he seem so out of it? What was he hiding all of a sudden? He had never done that before!  
  
Or had he?  
  
 _Your family is lying._  
  
What did the person writing these notes know that he didn't? Who were they? Why wouldn't they tell him the truth?  
  
He shook it off.  _Not important,_  he told himself. Whatever Lily was hiding couldn't be important. Otherwise he'd have told him already. Lily wouldn't lie to him. He wouldn't keep important secrets. Lily was his friend and brother. He would never betray him.  
  
And yet somewhere, deep down, he wasn't sure if he could still trust Lily as much as he thought he could.  
  
\---  
  
"Here we are," Lily whispered, leading the group in through the garden gate, careful to keep them in the shadows, away from prying eyes. "Thank you for letting us in, Dodo-san."  
  
"No prob," Dodo said around a yawn, almost falling asleep where he leaned against the fence. "Wake me up when you need anything. Actually, don't bother. I'm still beat."  
  
"I kinda like this guy," Kuro whispered to Mahiru as they slipped inside.  
  
"Shh!" Mahiru whispered back as Dodo closed the gate behind them and instantly fell asleep on top of it. "Quiet! We can't get caught now."  
  
Keeping close to the fence, they slipped from tree to tree, shadow to shadow, careful not to make a noise. Lily walked ahead, trying to see and hear everything at once. The garden was empty and dark. The windows on this side of the house were dark too, empty and unmoving. Nobody was around to see them.  
  
Lily walked faster. Reaching into his pocket, he walked up to the back door and pulled out the key, turning it in the lock and peering inside. There was nothing but a silent dark corridor. No sign of anyone–  
  
"Lily."  
  
He froze. Stepping out of one of the doors, looking up at him with stern, suspicious eyes, was none other than Mikado.  
  
He raised a hand, motioning for the others to stay where they were and not make a sound, his eyes still resting on Mikado. He swallowed. What should he say? What should he do?  
  
"What are you doing here?" Mikado asked, and Lily tensed even more. "You never take the back door. You aren't trying to lead anyone else in here, are you?"  
  
 _Keep calm. Don't panic._  
  
"Of course not," Lily said lightly, faking a smile. "You know me. I of all people know how important it is to keep Misono safe, Mikado-san."  
  
\---  
  
There was a soft knock on the door, and Misono jumped. Nobody ever knocked on his door at this time of the day. It was close to his bedtime, and usually people would leave him alone this late in the evening.  
  
"C-Come in," he called, his voice a little unsteady. After everything that had happened these past few days, he honestly didn't know who or what to expect anymore.  
  
The door opened, and in slipped a maid, the same black-haired one who had done the laundry in the garden just yesterday. She smiled lightly, bowed, and stood near the door, as if she didn't want to actually come inside.  
  
"Good evening, young master," she said quietly. "Pardon the disturbance at this late hour, but your father has sent for you. He would like to speak to you, so if you would please follow me."  
  
Misono jumped to his feat, his heart skipping a beat. His father wanted to see him? Now? Why now? His father never sent for him unless it was an emergency. "What happened?"  
  
"I'm afraid I can't say." The maid bowed again. "Please follow me, young master. He shall tell you directly."  
  
Misono stumbled across the room and walked after her as she led him through the dark corridors, his heart pounding in his chest. What had happened? Was something wrong? Had something happened to his father or someone else? Had he been caught trying to open the locked door? What if–  
  
Wait a minute. Where were they going? This wasn't the way to his father's office.  
  
"Where are you leading me?" Misono whispered, hurrying up to walk beside the maid. "Where is my father? Why isn't he in his office?"  
  
The maid's expression was unreadable, her eyes completely blank and eerily familiar, even though Misono still couldn't recognize her face. "Do not worry," she whispered back. "We're almost there."  
  
She led him to a corner and stopped, holding up a hand. Voices came sounding down the corridor, voices Misono knew all too well. He inched closer to the corner and peered around.  
  
"You know me," Lily was saying. "I of all people know how important it is to keep Misono safe, Mikado-san."  
  
Misono couldn't see his father's face in the dark, but he sounded like he was smiling. "Of course you do. That's why I have kept you around all these years." His voice turned grave again. "But you aren't planning to tell him now, are you? You've been acting strange lately."  
  
Misono's heart stopped beating for a second. Tell him? Tell him what?  
  
"Certainly not," Lily replied, and icy cold spread throughout Misono's chest. "He is better off thinking she really was his mother. Even if he ever does begin to have doubts, I assure you the key to that wing will be safe with me."  
  
The world stopped moving.  
  
Misono staggered. The ground was gone from under his feat. His mind was reeling.  
  
Lily had the keys.  
  
Lily knew what had happened that night. Lily had lied to him. He knew the truth, and all these years he had never told him a single word.  
  
The world as he knew it came crushing and tumbling down around him. Misono's head was blank. The only thing he knew, the only thing he felt was mad, furious betrayal.  
  
"Lily..." he gasped out, stumbling around the corner. "You... Tell me that's not true!"  
  
His father and Lily spun around, blank horror on their faces.  
  
"Tell me it isn't true!" Misono shouted at him, trembling with cold rage. "Tell me you haven't been lying to me for all these years! Say it, Lily!"  
  
But Lily's face was pale, and Misono knew it was all real. Everything he had just heard was the truth.  
  
"Misono," Lily stuttered, trying to force a smile. "I can explain–"  
  
" _No!_ " Misono's voice was shrill and frantic, shaking, reverberating off the walls. "You've told me enough lies! Stay away from me!"  
  
"Misono–"  
  
" _Stay away!_ "  
  
Lily stopped short. His eyes were wide with horror and guilt and shame and a million regrets.  
  
"Misono, no..."  
  
" _Stay away!_ " Misono screamed, his whole body burning, hot tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "Don't ever come near me again, you... you... you  _traitor!_ "  
  
Lily stared down at him, wide-eyed and motionless, shaking. Misono didn't care. He didn't care about anything. His best friend, his brother, his own family had lied to him. He had lied to him for so many years, and not once had he suspected a thing.  
  
The maid slipped from Misono's side, moving past him and Mikado, unnoticed. Her red eyes were fixed on her target. Her hand reached into her apron, fingers closing around cold metal.  
  
 _Snow Lily,_  Otogiri repeated in her head.  _Title: Lust. Alias: All of Love. The most recent member of the original seven Servamps and nearly undefeatable in close combat as long as he has the Alicein family to fight for.  
  
But if he loses the connection that keeps him going, he becomes... vulnerable._  
  
Fast as lightning, she whipped out her switchblade and rammed it straight into Lily's chest.


	37. Unlocked Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Basically, perfect time to go to that door and find out what they've been hiding."

The world fell silent.  
  
Everything moved in slow motion. Lily's eyes went wide as he stumbled back, opening his mouth in a silent shout, shock and disbelief and pain mingling on his face. Blood trickled from the wound, seeping into his clothes and painting them red from the inside. Mikado yelled something, but it sounded distant and faint and lightyears away.  
  
Misono stood frozen in place. His heart had stopped beating. His eyes were fixed on Lily, blank and wide with horror as his body and mind went numb and cold.  
  
Then there was a rush of footsteps, and four figures stormed in through the door. "Lily!"  
  
Misono snapped out of his trance. These four... It couldn't be.  
  
"Shirota?" he rasped, staring at the boy in front of him. "Wh-What are you– why–"  
  
"I'll explain later!" Darting forward, Shirota caught Lily in his arms, gently lowering him to the ground. "Kuro, my phone! Your phone! Any phone! We need an ambulance! Tetsu, Hugh, go after the maid!"  
  
The two darted off, running after the maid as she fled. A short moment later gunshots blared from outside, Mitsuki's voice yelling something across the garden. Kuro reached into his pocket and shoved Shirota's phone into his hands, and Shirota grabbed it and dialed in the emergency number without a second's delay, holding it up to his ear.  
  
"Mi...sono..."  
  
Lily lifted his head, his face deathly pale and tight with pain. "Misono..." he gritted out. "I'm... so sorry..."  
  
No. No, this wasn't happening. This wasn't happening!  
  
"Shut up!" Misono yelled at him, running up to his side and pushing him down. "Don't move! Don't speak! You won't die here, you bastard!"  
  
"I... wouldn't be so certain." Lily's breath was coming in gasps as his face turned paler and paler. "In case I won't make it... please, Misono... at least know that I'm sorry... for everything..."  
  
" _No!_ " Misono burst out, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "You'll be all right! Shut up and stop talking, Lily!"  
  
"Don't... worry, Misono." More blood was seeping into Lily's shirt, and he was starting to wheeze and cough. "I just... want you to know that... I only wanted to... protect you... my little brother."  
  
He coughed again and closed his eyes. Misono grabbed his hand, squeezing it in his grip, frantic and desperate. "Lily!" he called. "Lily, hang in there! You won't die! I'll never forgive you if you die on me, you bastard! Do you hear that?  _Lily!_ "  
  
Lily didn't open his eyes, but he smiled. His lips formed words that Misono could only guess, but he thought he could faintly hear him whisper, "I'll do my best."  
  
Misono didn't let go of his hand until the paramedics arrived. They did what they could to slow down the bleeding and carried him off to the ambulance, Misono stumbling after them, sitting down at Lily's side as the sirens blared and the ambulance rushed through the streets. The world had gone numb. Everything outside the doors of the ambulance had stopped existing. All Misono wanted was for Lily to make it out of this alive.  
  
He still didn't understand so many things. He still couldn't believe Lily had been lying to him, hiding the truth about his mother's and Mikuni's disappearances. He still couldn't believe his childhood friend and brother had betrayed him. He hadn't forgiven him. But he didn't hate him. He wanted to talk things out with him and understand why he had done everything he did. He wanted to know if Lily had a good reason for lying to him all these years. He was sure there had to be a reason. Lily wouldn't do this to him without an explanation.  
  
Please make it out of this. Please, Lily. I'm begging you.  
  
"...sono..."  
  
He blinked. "Lily... Lily, are you awake?"  
  
Lily's eyelids fluttered open, just the tiniest bit. His hand shifted slightly, motioning towards his pocket. "Keys," he breathed. "Take them."  
  
"But–"  
  
"Please..."  
  
Misono didn't know what else to say. He simply nodded, reached into Lily's pocket, and pulled out his bundle of keys to hide it neatly in his own pocket just as the ambulance stopped moving and the doors opened, figures rushing in to push Lily's stretcher outside and into the hospital. He followed numbly, not knowing where he was going or what was about to happen. He simply knew that he needed to be with Lily, needed to stay by his side until someone could tell him that he would be all right.  
  
Lily disappeared behind closed doors, and someone led him into a waiting room, sitting him down on a bench. A kind voice offered him hot chocolate, but he couldn't swallow a single drop. His eyes remained locked on the closed door, waiting, waiting, waiting for what felt like hours.  
  
It was dark. Time had stopped. The doors stayed closed, with no news from Lily. No one else was in the waiting room except for him. His hands curled around the bundle of keys in his pocket to try and keep himself grounded. It was cold and heavy and very much real, more real than anything else in this room, more real than the numb feeling of dread and panic that had settled in his chest.  
  
Lily had given him these keys. Did that mean he wanted him to unlock the door to these secrets now? He didn't need that. If Lily wanted him to know what had happened, Misono would rather hear the story from him directly. Unless...  
  
Had Lily given him these just in case...?  
  
He shook his head.  _Don't think about it!_  
  
"Misono?"  
  
"Misono-senpai!"  
  
The voices cut through the daze clouding his mind, the distant surrealism of everything around him, sounding clear and alive and very much real. He couldn't have imagined them. They were here. He wasn't alone.  
  
But why... How...?  
  
"Shirota?" he whispered, raising his head and turning around as the two of them stormed into the room, skidding to a halt in front of him, worried and breathless. "Sendagaya?"  
  
"Misono!" Shirota shouted, grabbing his shoulders and staring straight into his eyes. "Are you okay? How's Lily? Is he...?"  
  
"I... don't know." Misono lowered his head. "They have said nothing yet. We can only hope." He swallowed thickly. Shirota's hands on his shoulders tightened. They were warm and steady, just what he needed right now, but...  _but..._  
  
"You..." he whispered, not looking into his friends' eyes. "What are you doing here? Why did you..." His voice trailed off, the unspoken question resting heavy on his tongue.  
  
 _Why did you come here when I was trying to cut you all off?_  
  
But Shirota's voice was gentle when he replied, calm, as if he was saying the most simple thing in the world. "Dodo-san drove us here," he answered. "We got into the car and went after the ambulance, sorry we couldn't be here faster." There was a smile in his voice. "We're here to wait with you."  
  
Misono looked up, not understanding a thing. Why? Why was he acting like this was such a normal thing? Why was he pretending Misono hadn't hung up on them and acted like he didn't know them at all?  
  
"You don't have to," he said quietly. "Nobody asked you to! Why were you even at my house in the first place? I thought–"  
  
 _I thought that if I tried to cut you all off, I would lose you for sure._  
  
"Lily told us," Shirota said simply.  
  
Misono's eyes went round. He looked at Shirota and then at Sendagaya. Both nodded, and the realization hit him full force.  
  
Suddenly everything made sense.  
  
"L-Lily..." he stuttered out, all blood draining from his face. "He... went to retrieve all of you, am I right? So that was why... why he wouldn't tell me where he went... and why he acted strange at dinner... and I thought..."  
  
He had thought Lily was hiding an important secret and started doubting him, even though Lily had simply not been allowed to tell him he had brought his friends over when his father had forbidden it.  
  
Lily had been trying to help him, and he thought... he had doubted and suspected him for all the wrong reasons...  
  
 _But Lily still lied to you,_  he thought.  _Lily has been hiding such an important secret from you all this time._  
  
But that had nothing to do with his suspicious behavior! And no matter what he had done, whether he had hidden this secret from him or traveled halfway across the country to bring his friends here, he had always been trying to help him.  
  
And Misono had pushed him away... told him to leave and never come back...  
  
He needed to apologize. As soon as Lily woke up, he was going to apologize. He would apologize for all his mistakes, everything he had said and done, just like Lily deserved it.  
  
 _If_  he woke up.  
  
Misono swallowed hard. What if he didn't? What if Lily died? What if Misono's outburst of anger, the shock, the defenseless state it had caused would kill him in the end?  
  
What if Lily died, and it was all his fault?  
  
Shirota's hand rested on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. "Don't blame yourself!" he said. "It wasn't you. It was that maid, remember? Kuro and Hugh are still out looking for her. I think you recognized her too, right, Tetsu?"  
  
Sendagaya nodded, speaking up for the first time since entering the room. "Her hair was a wig. Her real hair's short and kinda pink... I think she's that quiet girl from our school."  
  
"Otogiri," Shirota added.  
  
Misono looked from one to the other. Things started fitting together in his head.  
  
"You don't mean... Tsubaki?"  
  
"Probably." Shirota sighed. "I mean, we have no proof, but there aren't too many other groups from our school who are out to get the Servamps, right? First Hyde and now Lily..." His eyes darkened, and Misono wondered if he was thinking about Kuro, fearing he might be targeted too. "I wonder what he's trying to achieve," he said. "Is he trying to kill them? But why? I mean... what could they have done to him that's so bad he'd want to do that?"  
  
Misono said nothing. His mind was spinning. This might be Tsubaki's doing. Tsubaki might be the one who had sent the maid to infiltrate his household, all to break their bond and then exploit Lily's weakness. The notes, his suspicion... it was all Tsubaki's doing. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why hadn't he distrusted these notes more? Why hadn't he become suspicious when he noticed both the maid and the handwriting looked vaguely familiar? He had always thought of himself as smart, and yet he had been fooled so easily, falling for the trick hook, line and sinker.  
  
If he had been less naïve, wiser, more careful, would Lily still be safe? If that stab wound was fatal, if Lily couldn't be saved anymore... would it all have been because of his clueless stupidity?  
  
He had failed Lily. He had failed everyone. He had always thought he was capable of protecting his friends, but he had been so blind. In the end, when he was needed the most, he hadn't been able to do a thing.  
  
He closed his eyes.  _Please live, Lily. Please... If you go and die on me here, I'll never forgive myself._  
  
The minutes ticked away, silent and painfully slow. Misono was too tense to speak. A giant lump had settled in his throat, cutting off the air and strangling his voice, too heavy to bear and too large to swallow. Shirota and Sendagaya stayed next to him in silence, quiet and reassuring but respecting his desire not to speak. He wished something would happen. He wished someone would come into the room and say something, anything. Even the bad news would be better than this endless wait, this creeping uncertainty that had settled in the whole room, weighing down on his shoulders.  
  
With every passing second hope was growing slimmer and slimmer.  
  
 _Please,_  Misono thought.  _Please end my suffering already. Tell me something, anything. No matter what._  
  
And still nothing happened. The minutes ticked on.  
  
He wondered how long he had been sitting there. Probably hours. It felt more like a lifetime. What were they doing so long? Was Lily even still alive? What if he was already beyond saving and nobody had told him yet?  
  
His chest tightened at the thought. Losing Lily... He had never even imagined it was possible. For all his life Lily had always been there, only a few steps or a call away, ready to appear next to him whenever he needed him. If he lost that... if he lost the pillar he had been leaning on all this time...  
  
 _Don't think about it!_  
  
And yet his heart felt cold. He might lose Lily. Lily might already be gone.  
  
"Young Master!"  
  
"Misono!"  
  
"Antenna!"  
  
Misono jolted at the familiar voices. "Father," he whispered as three figures came running into the room, one looking more shaken and excited than the other. "Mitsuki-san. Dodo-san..."  
  
"There you are!" Mitsuki exclaimed, hurrying right up to him with tears glinting in her eyes. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"  
  
Misono's heart skipped a beat and then started pounding at twice the speed. If everyone was here looking like this, if everyone had been looking for him... that could only mean one thing. "What's the news?" he asked hurriedly, leaping to his feet. "How is Lily?"  
  
"His condition is stable."  
  
Misono spun around, staring at the nurse who had walked in after his family. Hope and disbelief were warring in his head. Had he heard her right? He hadn't imagined it... had he?  
  
"He was in luck," the nurse continued, still looking incredulous herself. "The stab hit the only spot where it wouldn't have instantly killed him... I almost refuse to believe it's coincidence. Either way he made it out safely now." She smiled. "He'll live."  
  
Lily was safe now. Lily would live.  
  
He wasn't in danger of losing him anymore.  
  
Misono's defenses came tumbling down. The tension and anxiousness left his body. All the fears, all the hidden worries and loneliness were abruptly set free, mingling with joy and relief and gratitude into an overwhelming wave of emotion.  
  
Lily would live. He wasn't going anywhere, and Misono didn't have to worry about losing him anymore.  
  
Suddenly he felt like a small child again, finally coming back home after getting lost in the woods.  
  
A sob escaped his lips. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he didn't even bother to blink them away. He just let them fall, wiping away at his face as more sobs shook his body, making his breath hiccup and his shoulders tremble as he stood there, crying in front of everyone and not even ashamed of his tears. His heart felt like it was going to break. His chest was overflowing. He was glad and overjoyed and terrified and lonely all at the same time, and he simply didn't know what else to do with all these feelings.  
  
Nobody said a word. They all just stood around him in silence, waiting for his tears to dry and his sobs to subside. Shirota and Sendagaya stepped up to him and each placed a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder. Mitsuki joined them, followed by Dodo and his father, and a moment later Misono was standing in the circle of his friends and family, sobbing into somebody's shirt without even knowing whose it was.  
  
All he knew was that for the first time that night he finally felt safe again.  
  
"C-Can I..." he stuttered when he had finally regained his voice again, "can I see Lily?"  
  
The nurse smiled gently. "He's still sleeping. I'm afraid he won't wake up before morning." She rested a hand on his shoulder. "How about you sleep too? You must've had a very stressful night yourself. Do you want to go home?"  
  
Home... back to his room, his bed. Being able to sleep without having to worry about Lily dying... That sounded good. And yet he didn't want to leave. He wanted to be here when Lily woke up, he wanted to see him, talk to him. As soon as he could.  
  
And then, of course, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get any sleep at home, with all the unexplained mysteries still lurking in his house, waiting for an explanation.  
  
"I don't know," he said quietly. "I'd rather stay here..."  
  
"Trust me, you should go home. I promise we'll inform your family as soon as your friend starts waking up, and your house is only a few minutes' drive away. You'll be able to talk to him soon." The nurse walked up to the adults, her eyes still gentle and caring. "For all your sakes, you should probably go home. Unless you don't feel safe there...?"  
  
"N-No, it's..." His father cleared his throat, looking unsure what to think. "It's well guarded."  
  
"We already checked," Mitsuki added. "There was only one new maid joining the household recently, and she can't get back in anymore. The others won't try to stab us, Mikado-san."  
  
Dodo nodded. "We got bodyguards too. And your friends." He motioned at Shirota and Sendagaya.  
  
His father looked even more at a loss. No, he almost looked... ashamed.  
  
"Let's go home," he stammered, clearing his throat again. "We all need to rest... Let's talk about everything else tomorrow, all right?"  
  
\---  
  
"You two, wait a minute."  
  
Mahiru and Tetsu stopped walking, turning around to face Alicein Mikado as he walked up to them, still looking incredibly stirred. "You..." he began, clearing his throat. "I probably owe you both an apology. And your friends too, if they're anywhere around here."  
  
"They're still guarding the place." Mahiru looked around. "I mean, we could call them if you want, but..."  
  
"No, don't bother. If their presence gives us at least an ounce more safety, let them stay where they are." Mikado gestured them to several chairs and a couch standing around a coffee table, motioning for them to sit down. "But please... tell them I am very, very sorry, for everything that happened here."  
  
He looked it. His face was still deathly pale, drops of sweat resting on his forehead that he wiped with the palm of his hand. Mahiru exchanged a surprised glance with Tetsu, then he looked back at him. "Why?" he asked. "It's not like you could've known that this maid was a mole... right?"  
  
"That is true," Mikado said gravely as they all sat down. "But she would never have succeeded if it hadn't been for me. I have committed many mistakes... mistrusting the wrong people and locking you out of the house was only the beginning. Everything... everything is my fault..."  
  
Mahiru exchanged another glance with Tetsu. "You... You're talking about what you said earlier, right?" he said slowly. "About Lily keeping the key... and something you didn't tell Misono?"  
  
Mikado nodded. "Yes. Yes, you are right. This grave secret I've been hiding from him for so many years... if only I'd never made that mistake, if only– I'm sorry. You obviously don't understand a single thing I say. Ask me anything you want, and I'll answer." He sighed. "There is no more point in keeping secrets now, is there?"  
  
"So..." Mahiru leaned forward. "You're planning to tell Misono too, right? When you said you wanted to talk about everything tomorrow."  
  
Mikado hesitated.  
  
"I didn't want him to know," he said quietly. "I was hoping he'd never find out... and even now he's too young to hear it..."  
  
Tetsu frowned slightly. "He's as old as us. And Misono-senpai's strong. Don't worry about him."  
  
Mikado said nothing. Tetsu's gaze flitted to something the others couldn't see, and he abruptly got up.  
  
"Gonna go to the bathroom," he said. "Don't wait for me."  
  
Mahiru was left alone with Mikado, who still didn't know what to say.  
  
"So," Mahiru said at last, "what exactly happened that you're trying to hide from Misono?"  
  
\---  
  
Misono had crawled under the covers, but he couldn't sleep. His body was exhausted, but his mind was still wide awake, thoughts over thoughts swirling round and round and round in his head.  
  
Lily had been stabbed and almost killed. There had been a mole in the household. Mitsuki said this maid had been the only recent addition and that the others were trustworthy, but could they really be sure? They had trusted one person too many, and one of them had almost paid for it with his life. Who said there wasn't another person out to kill them? If Tsubaki had really sent Otogiri to infiltrate the place, would he really only have sent her alone? Did he really trust her that much? Wouldn't it have been safer and more logical to send a backup in case the first attempt failed?  
  
Wait.  _Had_  it failed?  
  
Lily had survived. Misono and everyone had assumed that Otogiri had stabbed him with the intent to kill, but what if she hadn't? His thoughts wandered back to the nurse's words. _The stab hit the only spot where it wouldn't have instantly killed him... I almost refuse to believe it's coincidence._  What if it hadn't been coincidence? What if Otogiri had hit that very spot  _on purpose?_  
  
Had her objective not been to kill Lily, but to incapacitate him?  
  
But why?  
  
He didn't understand. It didn't made sense. Nothing that had happened today made any sense. His friends' sudden appearance made no sense, either. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't have come for him, not even if they followed Lily's call. After the way he had rejected them all... Why had they still come here? Why hadn't they minded? He didn't deserve them all. And now they were here, guarding his house...  
  
He was glad they had come here in time. He was glad they had reacted so quickly after the attack, swooping in to save Lily's life and chase after the assassin maid, even if they had failed to catch her in the end. He was glad his father trusted them again, enough to let them help guard the mansion tonight. At least he wouldn't have to worry about cutting them off anymore. Even if he still didn't understand their reasons for coming here, he was glad he could just stay friends with them.  
  
And then there was the thing that kept him awake the most.  
  
Lily had given him the keys to the locked-up old wing. So he had been right. That wing really did contain the answers to all his questions, and Lily finally wanted him to know, after keeping the secret for all these years. His father had told him they'd talk about everything tomorrow, too. Was he going to tell him what had happened? What was so terrible that they had kept it a secret from him for so many years? What had happened that night, really?  
  
He'd find out tomorrow, hopefully... but tomorrow was so far away...  
  
A soft noise stirred him out of his thoughts, so quick and soft that he couldn't immediately tell what it was. For a moment he couldn't even tell if he had really heard something or if it had just been a figment of his imagination.  
  
But just when he was ready to dismiss it, he heard it again, clearer this time. A knock.  
  
"Psst! Senpai?"  
  
That voice...  
  
"Senpai, you awake?"  
  
Misono jumped to his feet, running to open the half-closed window and stare at the face that gazed back at him, wide-eyed, stunned and incredulous. "Sendagaya...?"  
  
Sendagaya? Why was he here? What was he doing under his window in the wee hours of the morning? How in the world... why...  
  
"It's me," Sendagaya whispered back, awkwardly leaning against the window frame, the moon casting a cool light on his features, making his hair and eyes look almost silvery. "Uh... Hey."  
  
Misono looked down. He didn't know what to reply. This was the first time they talked alone again, he realized, the first time since the tanabata festival and the fateful confession. There was so much he wanted to say to him, so much he had to explain, and words failed him as he was left staring at his feet once more, unsure where to start.  
  
"Sendagaya," he said quietly, hoping it was dark enough to hide the blush on his face. "Wh-Why are you here?"  
  
"I dunno." Sendagaya's voice was just as quiet. "I just kinda felt like it... like you couldn't sleep after all this." He raked a hand through his hair. "So I came here."  
  
Misono looked up. "You came here just for that?"  
  
"Yeah. Maybe it sounds weird, but I kinda thought..." Sendagaya's gaze flitted around nervously, and even in the dark Misono could tell he was blushing. "I thought maybe you didn't wanna be alone right now."  
  
Misono suddenly found he had never seen anything as interesting as the tips of his toes.  
  
Sendagaya was right. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to keep lying around here all by himself, tossing and turning from side to side to side, staring at the wall, the ceiling, the window, the ceiling again. He had barely managed to suffer through the short time he had already spent like this. If he continued doing the same thing for the rest of the night, he would lose his mind for sure.  
  
"Maybe so," he admitted quietly, trying to sound calm. "But that doesn't explain why you came here."  
  
"Because I care."  
  
Misono's head darted up. Flushing, he stepped back to gaze up at Sendagaya, who simply returned his look with utmost sincerity. "You–"  
  
Was this the confession all over again?  
  
He didn't want that. One time had been enough. He still didn't know how he felt, and he wasn't sure if he ever would or if he'd always stay like this, helpless and uncertain.  
  
One way or another he had to clear a lot of things up.  
  
"Listen–" he started just as Sendagaya opened his mouth to start speaking at the exact same time. "Senpai–"  
  
They both interrupted themselves, looking into each other's eyes and then in opposite directions.  
  
"You go first," Misono muttered.  
  
"No," Sendagaya replied, lightly, carefully resting a hand on his shoulder. "You go first."  
  
Misono swallowed hard, gathering his courage. Part of him wanted to insist that Sendagaya go first, but he knew that wouldn't help anyone. He owed him an explanation. Things had been awkward between them for too long.  
  
"Listen," he said again, clenching his fists to steady himself. "I'm... very sorry for not talking to you for so long. I promise it has nothing to do with you, and–"  
  
Sendagaya shook his head. "I'm sorry for confessing in the first place. You didn't like it, so I shouldn't have said anything."  
  
" _That's not it!_ "  
  
Misono's head darted up, his nails digging into the palms of his clenched hands. "What are you apologizing for, you imbecile?" he burst out, eyes flaring desperately as guilt and anger and frustration surged up inside his veins. "Don't tell me you were actually blaming yourself for confessing? It isn't your fault, you bastard! Just..." He swallowed, forcing himself to keep looking at Sendagaya, no matter how much he wanted to lower his eyes and turn away. "I... don't know how to feel about it," he admitted quietly. "I don't know if I return your feelings... or if I'll ever come to understand how I feel about you. I was ashamed of that... I felt I couldn't face you until I came to a conclusion first, but I have yet to find one."  
  
"Oh."  
  
A flood of emotions washed over Sendagaya's face. Surprise, amazement, relief. Hope. He looked so glad, so grateful to have heard Misono's answer, that Misono almost wanted to bury himself under the blanket and never come out again, ashamed to have made him worry so much for so many weeks.  
  
"You should've said so," Sendagaya said, his blue eyes still wide and so naïve that Misono couldn't help but remember how young he still was, no matter how much older he looked. "Y'know... I don't really mind if you can't decide. That's okay, I can wait. But if we're not talking... I miss you, so let's talk again, okay?"  
  
Misono felt choked up.  _I missed you too, Sendagaya. I missed you so much._  
  
"Alright," he said quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat along with the urge to climb through the window and desperately cling to Sendagaya's waist and bury his face in his shirt. "I suppose... that means we are friends again, for the time being?"  
  
"Yeah." Sendagaya smiled lightly. "Friends."  
  
Misono hid a smile too. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. There was still so much to worry him, so much spinning around in his mind, but now that he had Sendagaya back, everything else felt so much less scary. Sendagaya really had been right. He didn't want to be alone right now, and now that he wasn't, the night didn't seem quite as long and dark anymore.  
  
Sendagaya glanced around, taking a look into the direction of the main entrance, then extending a hand. "Wanna climb out?"  
  
Misono blinked in confusion. "What do you–"  
  
"Your dad's talking to big bro Mahiru." Sendagaya motioned towards the side. "His secretary's over there and can't see us. Dodo-san's gone back to sleep. The guards are looking outside and not into the garden. Everybody else isn't gonna care if you're walking around at night, if I'm with you they're just gonna think we're uh... hanging out or something." He blushed slightly. "Basically, perfect time to go to that door and find out what they've been hiding."  
  
Misono's thoughts stumbled to a halt. He looked into the silent, empty garden, then at Sendagaya in awe. He was right. If he just climbed out the window, he might just get to the mysterious door this time. He had the keys. He could find everything out, here and now.  
  
But his father, he reminded himself. His father had wanted to talk about everything tomorrow... but tomorrow was so far away...  
  
And Lily had given him the keys. Lily wanted him to find out by himself. He didn't know why, but that much he knew for sure.  
  
"Very well," he said, hurrying across the room to pull out the bundle of keys and return back to the window. "Help me out, Sendagaya."  
  
Sendagaya nodded, extending a hand. Misono took it and heaved himself up, assisted by Sendagaya's grip and the arm that slung around his side and back to pull him over. And then he was outside, in his pajamas, still barefoot, nothing but a bit of garden between him and the answer to all his questions.  
  
"Alright," he whispered, grip tightening on the bundle of keys. "Let's go."  
  
They walked across the cool grass in silence, Sendagaya staying close to Misono's side for the entire way. Nobody seemed to notice or stop them. And then they were standing in front of the door again, and Misono's hands trembled as he tried to recall which key was the one he needed.  
  
Sendagaya's hand rested on his own, gently picking out a key with utmost certainty. "This one," he whispered. "Want me to unlock the door, senpai?"  
  
Misono's hands were still trembling, but he shook his head. This was something he wanted to do himself, without anyone else having to help him.  
  
Swallowing, he pushed the key into the keyhole and turned.  
  
The door creaked open.  
  
Misono peered into the jet-black darkness ahead, his eyes slowly adjusting to the gloom. Amid the dark gray and black shapes started to form, shapes that had once been familiar before this wing of the mansion had been locked up and abandoned, shrouded in doubt and oblivion.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, his body set into motion, following the well-rehearsed pattern of ways he once used to walk every day. He remembered now. That night this... whatever it was had occurred in the corridor close to Mikuni's room. If he could hope to find any clues or answers, it had to be there. Mikuni's room... it should be door number one... two... three...  
  
He turned, gently pushing it open to step inside.  
  
The room looked exactly like it had the last time Misono had set foot into it, and if it wasn't for the layer of dust glinting on the floor and every piece of furniture he would have thought it was still in use. Nobody had made any changes to it since he had last seen this room. It was as if Mikuni had simply gone on a very long vacation, and this place was waiting for him to return.  
  
Misono let his eyes roam around, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest. Where should he look first? This room was big... Where could he find a clue about what happened?  
  
"Hey," Sendagaya said, slipping into the room behind him. "Has that book always been on the desk?"  
  
Misono turned towards the desk, taking a step closer. The single book lying on top of it... He recognized it on sight. It was the one book in the room Mikuni had never allowed him to have a proper look at, let alone touch, no matter how much he tried.  
  
Mikuni's old diary.  
  
He felt a little guilty, picking it up to blow a layer of dust off the cover. He knew he shouldn't read other people's diaries, not even his brother's. But this was an emergency. And with this obvious placement, he couldn't help but feel like Mikuni had left it here for him to read.  
  
His hands still shaking, he looked through the pages, eyes skimming over Mikuni's messy scrawl, trying to find anything that could give him answers, a clue, anything. His heart was beating louder than ever. An answer... an explanation... something, anything...  
  
A few sheets of paper fluttered out between the pages. Misono stooped to pick them up. They seemed to come from an older diary, lying folded up inside the cover of the new one, also covered in Mikuni's almost unreadable handwriting. Going by the look of his writing these seemed to be much older, likely from the time when they were both still elementary school-aged.  
  
 _Dear diary,_  the page read.  _Today I looked through Father's old letters because I was curious and found something strange. In between his business stuff there was a stack of letters with a photo of a very pretty woman. I asked Father who she was, and he said she was my nanny when I was a baby. I don't remember her, but she looks a lot like Misono. And she was here at the right time too...  
  
I think I know why Misono doesn't look like Mother now._  
  
\---  
  
"It should never have happened," Mikado said quietly, his eyes staring at nothing and yet seeming to follow the movements of images only he could see. "But when Mikuni was born my wife was too weak to take care of him properly, so we hired a young woman for the job. She spent almost the entirety of his first six months with him... Proud father that I was, I often visited him. And her. We grew closer and closer. Too close. So close that after a few months... she turned out to be pregnant."  
  
Mahiru frowned and said nothing. He had a vague idea where this was going.  
  
"She left the house," Mikado continued. "My wife wasn't happy, she'd grown to like her a lot too. Still, it couldn't be helped... we couldn't let her find out how badly we had betrayed her." He sighed. "For the moment, anyway."  
  
Mahiru nodded slowly. "Did you tell her?"  
  
"Yes... but only after Misono was born. I probably shouldn't have. I couldn't help it... I couldn't live knowing that I had a second family out there somewhere that my first one could never know of. I confessed everything to her." Mikado's eyes darkened. "She told me it was all right, that she wasn't angry. I was glad... until several weeks later Misono's mother died in a traffic accident, and my wife told me she had used her connections to stage it."  
  
Mahiru swallowed. "And?"  
  
"She regretted it... said she had been consumed by jealousy, that she was sorry... We decided to take Misono in and raise him as our own child." Mikado smiled bitterly. "We thought that would make up for our sins. But jealousy had already taken root in my wife's heart, and when he was twelve years old she suddenly went out to try and attack him too."  
  
Mahiru said nothing. His hands dug into the fabric of the couch. Part of him wondered where Tetsu had gone.  
  
"Nothing happened, of course," Mikado added, looking only slightly relieved. "Mikuni caught her in time and overpowered her. He would have been ready to kill her that night... I was afraid of him, so afraid that I banished him from the house. But he insisted that my wife should leave too, just so Misono would be safe even in his absence. I tried to change his mind, but even she agreed with him." Mikado sighed. "She left... and disappeared. We didn't hear from her for months on end. When I finally went out to search for her I heard that she probably died. Her body hasn't been found, but the note she left behind at her family's house left no doubt that she couldn't bear the guilt and ended her life." He shook his head. "It's my fault. It's all my fault. I tore this family apart, just because I couldn't be loyal to my wife. I should have died in her stead."  
  
Mahiru swallowed again. Then he nodded. Suddenly he understood why Mikado and Lily had been hiding this story from Misono for so long, locking up the door to the mysteries and lying in his face for years.  
  
"I see," he said. "You... You're worried that Misono will blame himself if he finds out, right? That if he hadn't existed, none of this..." He shook his head. "But that's stupid! It's not his fault! Misono should know that!"  
  
Mikado shook his head. "It'll hurt him anyway. He isn't old enough to find out–"  
  
"He's  _sixteen years old!_ " Mahiru shouted back, jumping to his feet. "He's a second-year in high school! He's the same age as me! How much longer were you planning to hide this from him?"  
  
"But–"  
  
"Misono is strong." Mahiru smiled slightly. "And smart, too. He's not as fragile as you think. He'll be fine, and if he's not, he's still got all of us to support him." He sat back down. "And thinking simply, the longer you lie to him the more it'll hurt him, right?"  
  
Mikado said nothing. His eyes were still gazing at nothing, looking old and worn and incredibly tired.  
  
"Very well," he said at last. "I'll explain everything to him. Tomorrow I'll tell him the whole truth and hope he takes it well."  
  
\---  
  
The diary slipped from Misono's hands, falling to the ground with a dull clattering noise.  
  
Misono's eyes were blank. His mind was blank. His whole body was trembling, shaking, hot and cold at the same time.  
  
His mother wasn't his real mother. He had been a child that should never have been born. He should never have existed, and because of his existence this family had fallen apart and innocent people had died.  
  
If only his father had never cheated on Mikuni's mother. If only he had never seen the light of day. Everyone else would have been happy. He had always thought he existed because his parents loved each other, but this– He hadn't been a child of love. He was a child of lust, lust and nothing more. Thoughtlessness. Stupidity.  
  
He shouldn't have been born. He shouldn't have existed. Then his real mother would still be alive, and Mikuni's mother would be here, and Mikuni wouldn't have been banished. But just because his father hadn't controlled his own lust...  
  
"–pai? Senpai!"  
  
He jumped. His wide eyes blinked up at Sendagaya, who was watching him with worry clouding his face.  
  
"Here," he said, holding out another folded sheet of paper. "This fell out too... Thought you might wanna read that. Hey, you okay?"  
  
For a moment Misono wanted to run out and ignore the paper. Then he swallowed and extended his hand. Whatever this was, it couldn't be any worse than what he had just found out. It couldn't be.  
  
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he unfolded it and found himself face to face with Lily's flowing letters.  
  
 _Dear Misono,  
  
I am very sorry that you found out about everything this way. I wish none of this would have happened, and I hope you will never know the truth, but in case you will someday find your way in here I am writing this letter. I know what you are probably thinking, and I assure you none of this is in any way your fault. Nothing that happened was within your control, and you know that. Your father is blaming himself, of course, but I doubt that if he had the chance to repeat it all again, he would change his ways. After all, he made many mistakes that he can never correct again, but at least he got you out of it, and I do not think he would trade you for the world._  
  
Misono swallowed hard, but this lump in his throat was one he couldn't force away.  
  
 _You must now think that your true parents never loved each other and that you were simply born from lust, but I promise you this is not true. Inside Mikado-san's office there is a secret drawer that he keeps locked up at all times. Open it, and you will find all the letters he received from your mother after he left the house. Even after all these years and woes, he has still kept them. One would not do that for anyone but a person one dearly loves. Even after sixteen years, he still treasures her letters, pictures and gifts as if she was still alive. You were a child of love, Misono, and I hope you will always know that. Love and lust, after all, often come hand in hand.  
  
I do not know what you will do now, but I hope you will stay strong. The way you came into existence does not change that you are a kind, gracious human being who has brightened the lives of those around him, and I hope you will continue to be the same way in the future. If you'll still have me after finding out all this, I, too, will gladly stay by your side.  
  
Love,  
  
Lily_  
  
The letter blurred under his gaze. Tears welled up in his eyes, and Misono barely registered as for the second time that night they started streaming down his face, simply allowing himself to stand here and cry like a little child.  
  
"Senpai," Sendagaya said hurriedly. "Senpai, what's wrong?"  
  
Misono sniffled and wiped his eyes, handing him the letter. "Read."  
  
But Sendagaya didn't. He simply went up to Misono and pulled him into his arms, letting him awkwardly cling to the front of his shirt and bury his face in the fabric, still sobbing.  
  
"You can tell me later," he said gently, patting his back. "But I hope it said something nice."  
  
"Yes." Misono sniffled again. "Yes... it's very nice."


	38. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But now that I have this knowledge, I wouldn't want to give it up again for the world."

Sendagaya placed the diary back down on the desk, putting Lily's letter on top of it. His eyes were still wide with shock and confusion and disbelief. "Wow," he said slowly. "All that... happened? That's... kinda wild."  
  
Misono nodded, feeling half compelled to laugh. Sendagaya's complete and utter astonishment at reading the whole story had brought him back on the ground, back to reality when he had been caught up in a confusing swirl of emotions. In all this bizarre, surreal mess, he seemed so wonderfully normal, so simple, so...  _there_. Like a constant he could still rely on when everything else had been turned upside down.  
  
Misono was glad he was here.  
  
"I can barely believe it myself," he said and blinked, amazed at how steady his own voice sounded after being unable to speak for so long. "But... it all makes sense. Much more than the lie they told me, at the very least."  
  
Sendagaya frowned. "What did they tell you?"  
  
"Something about robbers." Misono tried to remember, but he couldn't piece together the whole lie anymore. "I don't recall the details... Either it made sense at the time or I thought I was too young to comprehend what was truly going on. They never told me it was Mikuni who attacked Mother... or that he was trying to save my life."  
  
It felt strange, speaking all this out for the first time and knowing it was the truth. He wasn't repeating anyone's lies this time. This time everything he said was true.  
  
Sendagaya nodded quietly, still trying to process everything he had just learned. "So, uh..." He frowned awkwardly. "What are you gonna do now?"  
  
"I..." Misono took a deep breath and exhaled again, looking down at the ground and then at the moon that had wandered on outside the window, setting ever closer to the horizon. "I don't know," he admitted. "I suppose I should sort some things out with my father... and Lily." He glanced back down. Lily... How was he doing now? Was he going to wake up soon? "But... I doubt my father will be happy to hear I snuck into this room on my own."  
  
"Just tell him everything."  
  
Misono looked up, staring at him with wide eyes. "What?"  
  
"I mean..." Sendagaya raked a hand through his hair. "It's better than keeping more secrets. And if you tell him Lily gave you the keys, I'm sure he's not gonna get mad."  
  
Misono frowned, pondering the suggestion. Once again Sendagaya's words made a lot of sense. They sounded so  _simple_ , so extremely, terrifyingly simple, but now that he had spoken them out, the suggestion seemed perfectly logical. Simply talk to his father and tell him everything. No more secrets. No more hiding things from each other.  
  
Part of him, the fussy, overthinking part, was screaming. It was recoiling and yelling and shaking its head, saying that this was too easy, this was bound to go wrong, this was bound to backfire. If things were that simple he'd already be on his way back to his father's office. Sendagaya's words sounded logical on the surface, but they were still simple, just like all his thoughts. Misono knew his father better. He shouldn't–  
  
"Just tell him," Sendagaya said again. "Trust me, it's the best. You're a family, right?"  
  
Misono looked up abruptly, his eyes meeting with Sendagaya's blue ones.  
  
Sendagaya held his gaze, honest and straightforward and confident. "Families shouldn't keep secrets. That's what my grandma says, and she knows everything."  
  
He was right. He was so right.  
  
Something inside Misono collapsed. He gave an exhale like a hundred held breaths were leaving his body at once. Of course. They were a family... it wouldn't make sense for them to keep secrets from each other. That wasn't what families were for. He had completely forgotten about that in all this chaos, but Sendagaya had remembered, remembered even through this whole mess of lies and deceit and dark revelations.  
  
Sendagaya was simple, but he was far from stupid. No... if anything, in his own little way, he was wiser than Misono could ever hope to be.  
  
If he hadn't been there, Misono didn't know what he would have done. He would have been lost. He would have been completely lost if he hadn't had Sendagaya to support him and keep him grounded.  
  
"I... You are right," he said slowly, a knot forming in his throat and chest. "I'll talk to my father and get rid of everything that still stands between us. And then I'll do the same with Lily when he wakes up." He swallowed. "Thank you, Sendagaya. Had you not been here–"  
  
"Tetsu."  
  
Misono paused. "What?"  
  
"You..." Misono couldn't see it clearly in the dark, but he could have sworn that Sendagaya was blushing. "You don't gotta keep calling me Sendagaya. Just keep calling me Tetsu, senpai. That's what everybody does."  
  
 _Tetsu.  
  
Sendagaya... Tetsu._  
  
Misono wasn't used to calling people by their first names. He had never called anyone by their first name except for his family, and he hadn't expected that to change. Addressing people like that carried a sense of familiarity that was foreign to him, and doing it made him uncomfortable. Part of him still felt uncomfortable, but the rest of him didn't mind. On the contrary. After all that had happened tonight, this felt almost... natural.  
  
"Alright," he said, feeling his face heat up and awkwardly clearing his throat. "But only under one condition."  
  
Sendagaya– no, Tetsu gave him a curious look. "What condition?"  
  
Misono cleared his throat again. "I will call you by your first name," he declared, "if you will stop calling me senpai and refer to me as Misono instead... T–" His face flushed even hotter. "T– T-Tetsu."  
  
Tetsu looked at him for a long moment, wide-eyed and awed. Then he ran a hand through his hair, looking just as awkwardly happy as Misono felt, and smiled. "Okay... Misono."  
  
They both stared at the ground, blushing and flustered. Neither said a word.  
  
"W-Well," Misono said at last, swallowing the strange nervous, giddy feeling, "what I was trying to say... Had you not been here, we all would have been in great trouble. I am in your debt. You are now one of the very few people I owe a favor, so be proud."  
  
"Hey, no big deal. Anybody would do this."  
  
Misono, who had half turned back towards the door to go back and find his father, stopped in his tracks.  
  
"I mean..." Tetsu shrugged, but his eyes were filled with emotion. "We're friends, you know?"  
  
Butterflies stirred inside Misono's stomach, a gentle warmth spreading through his insides.  _Friends_. That was right. Even after all this chaos, the confession, weeks of not talking, almost cutting off contact, they were still friends. And until Misono figured out his own feelings, that was what they would remain.  
  
That notion was oddly comforting.  
  
"If you say so," he said, turning back to the door to hide his blush, unsure as he was that Tetsu could even see it in the dark. "Still, you have helped me a lot. Know that I am far from ungrateful."  
  
Feeling oddly brave, he took a breath and hurried out into the night.  
  
\---  
  
Misono ran across the garden, faster than he had ever run before. His breath was coming in gasps, but he didn't slow down. His feet were starting to stumble, but he paid them no mind. His eyes were fixed on the other side of the building, the only window that was still bright. Dread and stubborn courage were mingling in his chest. His father...  
  
 _No more secrets._  
  
Even if he was afraid of the outcome, he had to sit down and talk to him. About everything. Once and for all they had to clear everything up, everything that was still standing between them, unsaid and unexplained. There was no way around it anymore.  
  
Gasping and panting, Misono stumbled in through the door and hurried along the corridors, following the light of the only illuminated room. His breath was whistling and wheezing, his sides stinging, his legs shaking. He didn't care. Only pausing for a moment to regain his breath enough to speak, Misono turned a corner and stepped into the parlor.  
  
Bright light greeted him. Blinded, he stumbled back, blinking and squinting as he let his eyes adjust to the light of the single lamp hanging from the ceiling, the blurred figures in front of him slowly taking shape. His father and Shirota were sitting across from each other, their expressions grave, their gazes startled as they turned around to face him where he had stumbled in. Then Shirota smiled, bowed his head, and got up from the couch.  
  
"I think I'm going to bed," he said with a look that made Misono realize he knew exactly what was going on. "Misono, do you need anything from me or are you just looking for your dad? I think you two have some stuff to talk about."  
  
Misono frowned at him with suspicion. Did he  _know_  the whole story? Already? Before Misono himself was officially allowed to know? No way, he had to be getting paranoid.  
  
"Good timing, Shirota," he said, coughing and clearing his throat where it was raspy after running and catching his breath. "I was just looking to speak to my father alone. You may go to sleep."  
  
Shirota looked unsurprised. Smiling, he stepped around him into the corridor and waved at them over his shoulder. "Good night!"  
  
"Good night, Shirota."  
  
He disappeared into the depths of the mansion, and then Misono was left alone with his father.  
  
Silence spread through the room.  
  
"You..." His father cleared his throat, awkwardly and unnecessarily adjusting his glasses, his gaze resting on some distant spot behind Misono. "You should be sleeping."  
  
Misono glanced to the side. "I couldn't sleep."  
  
"After a night like this one, I suppose it shouldn't be surprising." His father's voice and pose were strangely stiff, his gaze flitting nervously around the room. "Is anything... the matter?"  
  
Misono took a deep breath. Thoughts, words and explanations were chasing each other around in his head, sorting themselves into phrases and sentences, breaking apart again and rearranging themselves a dozen times over. What should he say? Should he start with telling him about the keys Lily had given him? Should he explain how he had climbed out the window and snuck over to open the forbidden door in the dead of night? Should he bring up Tetsu? Should he confess to stealing his father's keys and trying them out before he mentioned anything else?  
  
"I..." He took another breath. "There is a lot I'd like to clear up. First of all–"  
  
Footsteps hurried down the corridor, and a second later Mitsuki barged into the room.  
  
"Young master!" she gasped, breathless and staggering. "There you are... I've been looking for you... the hospital... just called–"  
  
Misono spun around. "The hospital? Lily–"  
  
Was Lily all right? Had something happened after all, or was he waking up?  
  
Mitsuki leaned against the doorframe, regaining her breath. "Lily is fine," she said. "They just called to say he'll be waking up soon... Should we head back to the hospital?"  
  
Misono knew this was a bad time. He knew he should talk things out with his father, and he wasn't sure if he could work up the courage again later. He knew he should at least talk to him for a few more minutes. And yet, when he opened his mouth, his answer came without hesitation.  
  
"Take me there. I need to be with Lily when he wakes up."  
  
After all, Lily was his brother, even more than Mikuni was. And after the way he had treated him tonight, Misono owed him that much.  
  
\---  
  
"How is he?"  
  
Misono skidded to a halt, almost slipping and falling on the tile floor. "Lily... is he... how..." He caught his breath. "He will–"  
  
"He's all right." The nurse smiled gently. "Everything is fine. If all goes well he'll wake up in a few minutes, although he'll still be a little drowsy for a while. Do you want to see him?"  
  
Misono bowed his head. "Yes, please."  
  
"Follow me." The nurse turned and motioned him along, leading him down a corridor and up to a closed door. "There he is. I'm going to leave you alone, you probably want to be alone with him, do you?" Misono blinked with surprise, and she laughed. "I know the look on your face, I've seen too many of those by now to not know what it means. If anything's wrong, please call for help!"  
  
She opened the door and waited for Misono to step inside before closing it again, and then Misono was left alone in the room.  
  
His eyes instantly fell on the bed under the window. The figure lying inside it was one he could have recognized from a million, familiar blond hair spilling out over the sheets, the chest underneath the covers rising and falling gently. Misono stepped closer. Lily was still asleep, looking deathly pale but very much alive, even if his expression wasn't nearly as peaceful as it usually was when he slept. Misono swallowed at the pang of guilt in his chest. That strained expression, the look of worry and mild restlessness... It was all his fault.  
  
The darkness was getting lighter. It wasn't as pitch-black as it had been a few hours ago, the hint of blue mingling into the light betraying that dawn had to be near. Misono must have stayed up all night, and yet, as he stood next to Lily's bed and silently watched his chest rise and fall, he didn't feel tired at all.  
  
Misono didn't know how long he had stood there when Lily stirred, his eyelashes fluttering slightly as his breath changed its rhythm, the faintest of groans escaping his lips. For a moment his eyes seemed to be staring at nothing until they finally shifted to look in the vague direction of Misono's face.  
  
"Lily!" Misono called, his hands digging into the covers. "Lily, it's me! Can you hear me?"  
  
For a moment Lily's lips moved silently, forming soundless words that Misono couldn't make out. Then he took a breath and blinked, his voice slurred and raspy and incredibly quiet when he finally spoke.  
  
"M-Mi..." He pinched his eyes closed and opened them again, struggling to keep his drifting gaze fixed on Misono's face. "Mi...sono?"  
  
"Lily!" Misono called again, his voice trembling, his throat tight. "It's me, Lily... I'm here..."  
  
Lily's lips opened and closed soundlessly. His eyelashes fluttered open and shut, as if drifting back and forth over the edge of a dream. Then, carefully shifting his arm to brush his fingers against Misono's hand, he smiled.  
  
"Misono," he whispered again. "I... am so sorry... for–"  
  
"Shut up!" Misono clenched his hand around Lily's cold fingers, clenching his teeth as Lily's voice, his words cut into his conscience like a knife. "Say that again and I'll knock you back out!"  
  
Lily chuckled weakly.  
  
Misono tightened his grip around Lily's hand, holding on as he forced himself to look straight into Lily's drowsy eyes, his tired face, even as the guilt ate away at him from the inside. "What are you apologizing for?" he snapped, choking on the lump that was stuck in his throat, the tears stinging at the back of his eyes for the third time that night. "I'm the one who should apologize, you bastard!"  
  
Lily blinked, surprised. For the first time since the evening he seemed more awake now, more like his usual self.  
  
"I... went into the room," Misono admitted, and Lily's expression was enough to tell him he didn't have to clarify which room he was talking about. "I know everything now. I understand... not everything, of course. There are still things I don't understand... things I need to clarify. But at least I'm no longer ignorant to the tragedy that happened behind my back."  
  
Lily closed his eyes, smiled sympathetically and said nothing. Misono didn't expect an answer. There was nothing to say.  
  
"And..." Misono averted his gaze. His chest felt strangely heavy. "I read your letter."  
  
Lily's gaze flitted back on his face as he opened his eyes, his face tightening with guilt and concern. "Misono–"  
  
"You idiot."  
  
The worry disappeared from Lily's face, leaving only puzzlement and surprise behind. "Pardon?"  
  
"Idiot!" Misono shouted, and he didn't even care that his voice was shaking. "What do you mean, you'll stay by my side if I'll still have you? Of course I will, you bastard! You..." He lowered his gaze, clenching his fists, swallowing hard. "You knew I'd find out eventually," he said softly. "You... knew what I'd be thinking. And you wrote this letter... to comfort me, in case you couldn't be there to tell me yourself..." He looked back into Lily's eyes. "You may have lied to me, but... but all along you were only trying to protect me, weren't you, Lily?"  
  
Lily didn't reply at once, and Misono didn't expect him to. He already knew the answer; Lily's letter and the look on his face said more than words could express.  
  
"I know," he said just as Lily opened his mouth to speak. "But, Lily... Why didn't you tell me if you disliked keeping secrets from me?"  
  
"About that..." Lily dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry, Misono. I hated to hide things from you, but... I hated the thought of you knowing the truth more. Perhaps it was the wrong decision, but you were still so young when it happened, and the truth was so sad... I didn't want you growing up with such a sad story to burden you, do you understand? I wanted you to be happy and wait with the truth until I thought you could handle it."  
  
Misono frowned. "When did you think I could handle it? I'm sixteen years old! I'm in high school–"  
  
"I know that. You've grown so much." Lily's eyes were soft, soft and sad, making him look so much older that Misono almost forgot he was only seventeen himself. "But you're still so young, Misono..."  
  
"I'm barely a year younger than you, and you've known for years!"  
  
"But it's different! I only knew you had a sad backstory, but if you had known, it would have been a thousand times sadder." Lily sighed quietly. "Even now it makes you sad, doesn't it?"  
  
Misono glanced to the side, gazing through the window where the sun was slowly starting to appear behind the horizon, the first rays of orange falling onto the cityscape. Lily was right, of course. The secret he had learned tonight was heavy. He understood it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't have done anything to prevent the tragedy, but even so he knew that the weight of the knowledge would always remain on his shoulders, maybe lightening with time, but never disappearing entirely. Nothing would ever be the same now that he knew the truth.  
  
And yet he didn't regret it. He didn't wish he had never found out, and he hadn't doubted the feeling for a second. He was glad to know the truth, heavy as it was. He was glad he didn't have to live a lie any longer.  
  
"It does," he admitted, and Lily sighed again. "But now that I have this knowledge, I wouldn't want to give it up again for the world."  
  
Lily blinked. "What do you mean?"  
  
"It's painful, but it's still the truth." Misono closed his eyes for a moment. "And I'd rather live knowing the painful truth than stay uncertain or lie to myself forever."  
  
Lily looked up at him as if  trying to make sure if he was serious, if he really was telling the truth or if this was some attempt at a lie to make him feel better. Then he gave a small exhale, and closing his eyes as he let his features relax, he smiled.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that, Misono," he whispered, so softly that Misono had to lean down to catch the words. "Tell me, does that mean you're allowing me to stay by your side?"  
  
Misono couldn't help cracking a smile too. This wasn't a question. He had almost lost Lily earlier, and he wasn't going to lose him again. Especially now that he had found out the truth thanks to him, now that he understood him.  
  
"I am," he said. "As long as you promise me not to hide anything from me anymore."  
  
Lily opened his eyes again. His soft smile grew proud, proud but a little wistful.  
  
"You really have grown up," he said gently, sounding almost like a parent who was both happy and sad to realize their child didn't need to be protected anymore. "You've become an adult, haven't you, Misono?"  
  
Misono looked away. "I can't judge that myself."  
  
"But I can tell. Don't worry, I've learned my lesson. I know you're strong now, much stronger than I thought." Lily shifted, slowly lifting an arm to pat Misono's head, his movements still sluggish but determined, growing more steady by the minute. "I'm sorry I underestimated you. I won't try to hide important things from you anymore."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
"Very well." Misono bowed his head to hide the emotion shining in his eyes, glowing in his face, warm and swirling, threatening to push aside the last of his pride. "Then, Snow Lily... please continue to stay with me in the future."  
  
\---  
  
Misono felt lighter, almost calm as he stepped into the parlor once more, meeting his father's eyes straight on. He was still dreading this conversation a little, he had to admit that. But now that he had made up with Tetsu and Lily, taking care of the rest seemed almost like a piece of cake.  
  
His father's gaze was tired as their eyes met, worn out by age-old guilt and a night spent awake with worries and fears. Misono was sure he had to look much the same as he paced through the room to sit down across from him, and yet he was also sure that his father was feeling every bit as alert and awake as he was.  
  
"So," his father said slowly, his voice and position tense, "what did you want to speak to me about?"  
  
Misono took a deep breath. He was still nervous, but the anxious feeling from earlier had disappeared. He knew what to say now, where to start.  
  
"I know what happened that night."  
  
His father's breath gave a hitch. He didn't say anything, but his eyes widened as his face turned even paler than it already was, his hands clenching into the fabric of his pants as he waited for Misono to continue.  
  
"You won't have to tell me," Misono continued, his voice still steady, his gaze unwavering. "I have already found out everything... what happened, where Mother went, how I came to exist."  
  
His father looked horror-struck but unsurprised. "It was Lily, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes. He gave me the keys, and I entered Mikuni's room and read everything he left behind in his diary." Mikado's face turned to disappointment, and Misono jumped up. "Don't blame him!" he shouted. "Lily only wanted to help me! He expected this day would come eventually, and together with the diary he left me a letter." His heart clenched up as he remembered the note again, the words, the simple kindness shining through every line. "He wanted to make sure I didn't lose courage after finding out the truth, so if you send him away for this, know that you will send me away with him!"  
  
Mikado blinked at him in open shock. Then he dropped his gaze, slumping backwards into the cushions of the couch as he breathed a small humorless laugh. "Don't worry, Misono. I was never planning to send him away for revealing the truth."  
  
Misono relaxed a little. Lily wasn't in trouble... That was a good start, at least.  
  
"It can't be helped, anyway," Mikado continued, his tired eyes still looking nowhere. "And he did save me the burden of confessing everything to you myself." He sighed quietly. "But I suspect you still have questions, don't you?"  
  
"Why did you do it?"  
  
Mikado straightened up again, taken aback by the question. "What do you–"  
  
"Why did you cheat on Moth– on your wife with my mother?" Misono clenched his fists, forcing himself to keep steady. "Why did you lie to me?"  
  
"I cheated with your mother because she and I fell in love."  
  
Misono stopped short. Out of all the answers he had thought of, he hadn't expected one that was as direct and honest as this.  
  
"Maybe you won't understand. You're still young, after all. But love..." Mikado's eyes clouded over, his expression grave and dark. "Love can do the strangest things to a person. It can tempt them to do things they would never have considered otherwise... and sometimes people are weak enough to give in to that temptation."  
  
Misono stared at the ground. For some reason Tetsu's face had appeared in his mind. He didn't understand how his father had felt back then or why he hadn't stopped himself, but for some reason he felt like he knew what he was talking about. Just a little.  
  
"I lied because I was ashamed," his father continued, "and because I didn't want you to grow up thinking your existence had torn the family apart. It was what your mother would have wanted too... both your real one and the one who raised you, that is. I wanted to keep the secret from you–"  
  
"For how long?"  
  
Mikado didn't answer. Misono tensed up, his whole body tightening with foreboding and anger. "For how long were you planning to hide it from me?" he demanded. "Until I was an adult? Forever? How much longer were you planning to lie in my face while everyone around me knew the truth, Father?"  
  
His father flinched. Turning away, he looked down at the ground, his face looking decades older with the guilt that was weighing down on it.  
  
"I... thought we could hide it forever," he said quietly. "I thought we could raise you as your son and Mikuni's brother and no one would ever find out about our sins. Maybe I would have reconsidered it at some point... when I thought you were old enough, perhaps. But when it all threatened to come to light you were still so young, so small..." He placed a hand on Misono's shoulder, and Misono noticed it was shaking. "Even now you still seem so small to me, Misono. You are still my child, after all... But I suppose I failed to protect you too, didn't I?"  
  
"You didn't fail to protect me."  
  
Misono tensed in his seat. He hated to speak these words. His father didn't deserve to be comforted. He hadn't forgiven him, and he didn't want to. And yet... he had to say everything that was on his mind. He had to make peace.  
  
"You failed to protect many people, but you... kept me safe," he admitted. "Too safe, if anything. You tried to keep me hidden in this safe garden, well protected from all sides... But I'm no longer a child, Father. In the future I'll have to protect people too."  
  
His father sighed. "I know."  
  
There was a moment's silence. Misono went through Mikuni's diary entries in his mind, repeating them again, word for word.  
  
"And another thing," he said at last. "Why did you drive Mikuni away after the incident? Could you stand a wife who let a woman be killed out of jealousy but not a son who saved his brother's life?"  
  
His father flinched, a new look of guilt crossing his face. "I... had no choice!" he said, almost spitefully. "Mikuni threatened to tell you everything. I had to send him away before it all came to light. We agreed that he would keep quiet and leave the house if his mother stayed away from you in the future. That was our deal."  
  
Misono stared at nothing. He didn't know what to think. Ever since Mikuni had left the house he had always been angry at him, resented him for suddenly ditching him for seemingly no reason at all. Now that he knew the reason he still felt anger, anger at Mikuni for agreeing with these conditions and anger at his father for coming up with them. But there was something else. Shame... gratitude. He had thought of Mikuni as a coward, a deserter who ran away because he didn't want to handle his duties as heir of the household and selfishly pushed his younger brother into his position. Now that he knew the truth, now that he knew how much Mikuni had done for him to protect him and ensure his safety... what should he do? What should he think?  
  
Mikuni hadn't ditched his duties. Mikuni had given up his old life and cut ties with his entire family just to make sure he was safe and unhurt. Mikuni had willingly faced the unknown and everyone's hatred for him, happily putting up with his misguided resentment as long as it meant that nothing happened to him.  
  
As much as he hated it, he almost felt like he had to apologize to that bastard.  
  
"He..." Misono clenched and unclenched his fists. "He never wrote that in his diary."  
  
"That's the kind of person Mikuni is." His father smiled sadly. "Tell me... You see him at school, don't you?"  
  
Misono blinked. "Yes."  
  
"Then... tell him what happened today. Tell me I've had my punishment, and tell him his mother loved him. Even after everything." His father stood up, his tired eyes strangely bright as he fixed Misono's gaze and held it, sure and steady for the first time since the beginning of the night. "And when you have told him all that, tell him to come home so we can talk things out." He smiled wryly.  
  
"We are still a family, after all."  
  
\---  
  
Misono woke up to the rays of the sunset tickling his face, warm and soothing and so peaceful that if it hadn't been so late already, he might have written off last night's horrors as a dream. Right now, with the fluffy pillow under his head and the warm blanket wrapped around him, the thought that his whole life had been turned upside-down mere hours ago seemed almost absurd.  
  
He rolled over, and for a moment everything really did seem perfectly normal. The only thing out of place was the sun, bright and orange behind the horizon when the sky outside the window should be a light morning blue; everything else looked the same as always. His bed, his room, the glass of water and his phone on the nightstand, both looking exactly the same as last night– no, this morning when he had gone to sleep.  
  
His phone...  
  
Instinctively Misono's hand reached out from under the blanket, closing around his phone and turning off the screen as he picked it up and unlocked it. And then the reality of last night's events hit him full force.  
  
His phone was flooded with messages. All throughout the day countless people had texted him, Mitsuki, Dodo, Lily, Lily over and over. So many messages from Lily... and none of them left any doubt that last night had been terrifyingly, frighteningly real.  
  
 _Dear Misono, I hope you are asleep and resting at the moment, but since Dodo-san was so kind as to bring me my phone, I shall still be taking the liberty of telling you everything newsworthy that happens to me! I know you'd rather know everything about the state of things as soon as you wake up, after all. I do hope there will be good news! The doctors said they might tell me when I'll be released soon._  
  
 _They checked up on me a few minutes ago. Apparently my condition really is stable! Although they would not tell me about my release yet, unfortunately..._  
  
 _I have been put into another room. I'm sharing it with a very kind elderly man, I am glad to report that he and I get along very well! He knows very much about flowers, perhaps I will learn something new to use in the garden or at the orphanage during my stay here?_  
  
 _We were just brought lunch. I am sorry to say this because I'm sure they put effort and thought into it, but the food here does taste awful, to say nothing of the coffee. When the nurse asked me, I still told her it was good though because I didn't have the heart for anything else. She is such a kind person, you know?_  
  
 _The old gentleman fell asleep. The hospital is so quiet... There is nothing I can do at the moment except lie and wait. At least I have my phone with me, or it would be quite lonely._  
  
 _I have to admit, it actually is rather lonely.  
  
Do not mind me. It must be the boredom speaking. Everything's still all right!_  
  
Misono swallowed, his insides tensing up. Lily had always been a social person; he had never liked being alone, and especially not for a prolonged amount of time. Lying there all by himself and having nothing to do, not knowing how much longer he'd have to stay like this, must have felt like his worst nightmare.  
  
 _Your friends just visited me and brought me food, books and flowers! They said they'll have to return home soon because their families need them but they promised to call and send texts and letters. It is only a shame that they had to leave the hospital so soon, visiting hours are so short... But Yuri and Mari were with them and they promised to return tomorrow with others from the orphanage!  
  
Good news, Misono! I have just been checked up again, and the doctor said I'll be released in about the next two weeks, depending on how quickly my wound heals. In some two weeks I may already be back home!_  
  
Misono smiled and relaxed back into the pillow. Two weeks, give or take a few days. It seemed like forever... but after that time things would be back to normal. No, not fully. Things would never go back to the way they had been, but after these two weeks they would be as normal as they could possibly be. He would have his childhood friend back. And this time there would be no more lies between them.  
  
He closed Lily's message thread, skimmed over Dodo and Mitsuki's texts also telling him about Lily's possible release, and opened the one text that was still unread. It was from Tetsu, who was still Sendagaya in his phone. Misono made a mental note to learn how to change contact names.  
  
Tetsu's message was simple, simple and short.  _when u get up meet me @ the orphanage._  
  
Without a second thought Misono put his phone down, peeled off the blanket and got out of bed.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stared at the window, then at his phone, then back at the window, his eyes resting on the setting sun. "He's still not up, huh?"  
  
"Bastard-chan should get up," Kuro mumbled, resting his head on his packed bag. "People who do nothing but sleep all day... That's how shut-ins are born."  
  
Mahiru knocked him over the head. "Look who's talking, shut-in who wants to sleep all day!"  
  
"Ow... How can you hit your cute roommate like that... can't deal..."  
  
"Who's cute? And don't call yourself your roommate just because you're staying over for the summer! If anything you're my guest! Geez!"  
  
Kuro yawned, stretched, and slumped fully over his bag, his legs stretched out behind him. "So, like," he said, half-turning his head to look vaguely in Tetsu's direction, "we still gonna leave today or do we sleep over?"  
  
Tetsu, who had been looking at the entrance of Misono's house through the window, turned and met his gaze with a slightly guilty expression. "Sorry for keeping you guys here," he said. "If you don't wanna wait, you can go ahead... I can just catch a train or something."  
  
Mahiru turned around and planted his hands on his hips. "Absolutely not!"  
  
"But I'm the one who wanted to–"  
  
"Tetsu, shut up. We all want to say goodbye to Misono before we leave!" Mahiru turned back to the window. "So thinking simply, we all wait here and then leave togeth– ah, there he is!"  
  
Tetsu stumbled to the window, glimpsed outside, and was halfway down the stairs before the others could even move. "Be right back."  
  
\---  
  
Misono walked up to the garden gate, just starting to wonder where to look for Tetsu when a familiar figure hurried out through the door, running up to him and meeting his eyes over the fence. "Hey."  
  
"Hello," Misono replied, happy to see him but unsure where to look. "Good morn– no, good evening." He cleared his throat. "Tetsu."  
  
"How you doing?"  
  
"Better, I suppose." Misono looked down at his feet, unmoving even as Tetsu opened the garden gate to let him inside. "It'll take time for everything to settle down, but I think I'll manage."  
  
"Okay." Tetsu didn't seem to be looking at him either. "Cool."  
  
Silence.  
  
"What..." Misono didn't really want to ask, but there was nothing else he could or should say. Lily's text flickered in front of his eyes, reminding him that his friends would have to return home soon. "What did you call me out here for?"  
  
Tetsu ran a hand through his hair. "We're gonna head home," he said. "We already packed and stuff. We just... waited for you to wake up, so we could say goodbye and..." His voice trailed off.  
  
Misono looked up at his face, then down at his feet. Goodbye. They had just seen each other again, and now they were parting, mere hours after talking to each other again for the first time in weeks.  
  
Suddenly summer break felt like an eternity again.  
  
"We... We'll keep in touch," Misono said before he could stop himself. He knew he sounded desperate, but right now he didn't care. "You can text me, and call me... I promise I won't ignore you again."  
  
Tetsu's face lit up. "Okay."  
  
"And..." Misono clenched his fists to keep steady, swallowing his pride. "Thank you. For... helping me out and... and supporting me... I owe you, Tetsu."  
  
"No, it's..." Tetsu blushed slightly. "It's fine. Really."  
  
Another awkward silence.  
  
 _I'll miss you._  Misono didn't know where the thought came from, but it took all of his willpower to keep himself from blurting it out loud.  
  
But judging by Tetsu's face, he probably felt the same.  
  
Misono didn't know how long they stood there. Behind them the sun slowly disappeared beyond the horizon, the orange and pink sky slowly turning blue and purple.  
  
After what seemed an eternity footsteps appeared, and then the door opened, well-known voices calling out his name as they approached.  
  
"Misono! There you are, Misono!"  
  
Shirota, Kuro and Hugh came walking over to him, each carrying a bag, Kuro unwillingly dragging a second one that had to be Tetsu's. They all looked ready to leave, just as the sound of a car engine pulled up on the street behind Misono. Dodo, probably.  
  
"You're leaving," Misono remarked intelligently, glad to have someone else to talk to and break the awkward silence.  
  
"Yeah." Shirota grinned apologetically. "Sorry, we couldn't stay long. But hey, we'll see each other soon anyway, right?"  
  
Misono paused. "At school...?"  
  
"The ocean! We're still going as soon as Lily's recovered enough." Shirota tilted his head in question. "If you're still up for it–"  
  
"Of course!" Misono burst out, a little too eagerly. His face turned red as he cleared his throat. "Certainly. I promised after all, and I intend to keep my promises."  
  
Shirota grinned from ear to ear. Tetsu's face lit up too. "Awesome!"  
  
Misono relaxed a little. Summer break seemed bearable again. He had something to look forward to, something sooner than the first day of school. He would see them all again. Shirota, Hugh, Kuro... Tetsu. Just a few weeks.  
  
"Just tell me when Lily's okay again," Shirota added, starting to haul everyone's bags into the car. "Then we'll find a date? How's that?"  
  
"Excellent," Misono started to say, then he stopped. After all that happened, would he even be allowed? "Wait, but my father–"  
  
"We talked to him." Shirota smiled brightly and closed the luggage trunk, opening the car door. "Don't worry. He's okay with it."  
  
Misono gave an involuntary sigh of relief.  
  
Smiling slightly, he watched as his friends all got into the car, one by one. Tetsu was the last one outside, hesitating for a moment before reaching down to give Misono's hands a tight squeeze.  
  
"See ya soon," he said, then he sat down in the last free backseat.  
  
And as Misono listened to all their goodbyes and shouted his own back, as the children from the orphanage hurried up to his side to wave goodbye to Mr. Panda, as Tetsu's face behind the car window slowly faded from sight, he caught himself wondering if being in love with Sendagaya Tetsu might not be such a strange concept after all.


	39. Sandcastle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He loves the sea a lot, so he must be pretty excited."

"So," Kuro said around a yawn that wouldn't have shamed a lion, "why'd we all have to get here this early in the morning?"  
  
"Early in the morning, my foot!" Mahiru looked at the watch and huffed. "It's ten! And you lazy beanbag slept in till nine, that's two hours more than on school days!" He sighed. "And besides, we have to leave this early if we want to spend the whole day at the beach and not just an hour or two! We talked about this just yesterday!"  
  
Kuro listened to him with his eyes half-opened, then he sighed, stretched, and gave another yawn. "Early. Can't deal."  
  
"Hey! Were you even listening? Hey, don't fall asleep on your feet!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance, both of them giving different degrees of knowing, amused grins. "You two again..."  
  
"What? I literally had to drag this guy out of bed this morning!" Mahiru made an accusing gesture in the direction of his roommate, who was slumping against the nearest wall and nodding off as he stood. "Kuro, you can sleep on the train! Geez, aren't you looking forward to going to the ocean at all?"  
  
"Not really," Kuro mumbled without straightening up or opening his eyes. "Too hot. Too sunny. Can't deal."  
  
"Come on, if it's too hot you can always go into the water!"  
  
"Too cold."  
  
" _You...!_ "  
  
"Hey now," Koyuki said, stepping between them before Mahiru had a chance to hit Kuro over the head, "don't fight, you two... Don't worry, I'm not really a morning person either."  
  
"Yeah, but you're not a shut-in," Mahiru replied, rummaging through his backpack for what felt like the umpteenth time this morning. "Train tickets, check. Snacks, check. Swim trunks and towel, check. Kuro's swim trunks and towel, check. Kuro, I can't believe you didn't have any up till a couple days ago... ah geez, don't sleep there! Well, as long as he wakes up when the train comes... Speaking of, have you guys seen Tetsu, Hugh and Sakuya anywhere?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki shook their heads, but thankfully at this moment two figures appeared around the corner, and a second later Tetsu and Hugh came walking up to them, both of them wearing very light clothes and sunglasses. Hugh's were somehow bat-shaped.  
  
"Good morning!" they said in unison.  
  
"Good morning–" Mahiru started to reply, then he stopped, staring incredulously at Hugh's impossible shades. "Where... the hell did you get those?"  
  
If Hugh had noticed Mahiru's look of utter disbelief and second-hand embarrassment, he didn't seem to care in the slightest. Instead he beamed proudly, raising his head and adjusting his sunglasses even better. "Fantastic, are they not?" he declared cheerfully. "The only appropriate eyewear for a gentleman who is one with the darkness! And Tetsu found them for a quite excellent price."  
  
Tetsu looked every bit as proud as his friend. "They were on sale at a thrift store. 80% off."  
  
"No wonder," Mahiru muttered under his breath just as he heard Kuro mumble something that sounded suspiciously like "Lame... can't deal." Ryuusei and Koyuki simply stared at the bat shades and then each other, visibly torn between shock, embarrassment and laughter.  
  
"...Anyway," Mahiru continued, tearing his gaze away from Hugh's garish shades and turning back to Tetsu. "Good thing you guys are here, now we just need to wait for Sakuya! Let's hope he didn't oversleep again..." He searched his pockets for his phone, a thoughtful frown on his face. "Maybe I should call him and ask where he is?"  
  
Koyuki had pulled out his phone too, and as he looked at the screen his eyes went wider than usual. "Oh," he said, furrowing his brow in surprise. "Sakuya just texted me."  
  
Mahiru and Ryuusei crowded around him. "Where is he?"  
  
"He says something came up," Koyuki answered, the puzzled frown deepening on his face. "He won't make it to the train in time... He's saying not to wait for us, he'll try to join us later."  
  
There was a moment's silence. Mahiru and Ryuusei both blinked up at Koyuki, baffled and speechless.  
  
Ryuusei was the first to regain his speech. "Wait, what?" he burst out. "What does he mean, something came up and we shouldn't wait for him? Like hell we won't! What the hell, man?"  
  
Mahiru looked at the clock, then at time printed on his tickets. Ten more minutes... and then an hour before the next train to the sea came. If Sakuya couldn't make it in ten minutes, then maybe...  
  
"He says he doesn't know when he'll be free," Koyuki continued, cutting off his thoughts on the spot. "It might be in an hour, but it might only be this evening, and he doesn't want to hold us back so..."  
  
"'Doesn't want to hold us back' my ass!" Ryuusei snapped, ignoring Koyuki's scolding outburst of "Ryuu-chan!" "What the hell even happened to him? We've been planning this for weeks!"  
  
Mahiru pulled out his phone. "You're right, this is weird... Thinking simply, I'm gonna call him."  
  
He opened Sakuya's contact, tapped the call button, held the phone to his ear and waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
A beep. "The number which you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again at a–"  
  
Mahiru hung up.  
  
"His phone's turned off," he said, feeling as confused as the others looked. This was strange. Sakuya should always pick up his phone at this time of the day, and they had been supposed to meet here. Was his phone out of battery? Or did he just not want to talk to Mahiru? No, that couldn't be, they had been best friends for over ten years. But still...  
  
When telling them that he was going to be late, why had he texted Koyuki and not Mahiru like he usually did?  
  
"Ma-hi-ru."  
  
Mahiru almost jumped at the voice that popped up inches from his ear, warm breath tickling his skin. "Kuro!" he yelped, turning around to glare at his amused-looking friend. "What was that for? Don't just sneak up on–"  
  
"You're such a scaredy-cat. Can't deal." Kuro's face was blank, but his eyes were glinting with mirth, and his ever-stoic voice was hiding a distinct smile. "Worry over Curl Dude later, our train's here."  
  
Mahiru wanted to snap at him, but Kuro was right. Their train was already pulling into the station, and on either side of him his friends were getting ready to board.  
  
Oh well, the others were waiting for them. If Sakuya had the time, he could just turn up later. Mahiru could always send him a map of where to go.  
  
"Okay," he said, "let's go! Don't forget anything!"  
  
\---  
  
It had been some time since he had ridden a train with so many friends, Mahiru thought as he let his gaze roam over the group around him. Kuro had dozed off with his head slumped against the window. Hugh was sitting on Tetsu's shoulders to watch the landscape roll by behind the window, and he, Ryuusei and Koyuki were playing a round of Uno on the small table between them. As usual, Koyuki was winning, and Ryuusei was dead last.  
  
"Dammit!" he yelled as Koyuki put his last card down on the table. "How do you always do that, man? That's cheating! You cheated, dude!"  
  
Koyuki laughed awkwardly. "You just have terrible luck, Ryuu-chan."  
  
"That's what they all say! Rematch! Rematch!" He grabbed the stack of cards and started shuffling them in his hands. "One more time, and this time I'm shuffling! You don't get to give yourself all the good cards again! All the take-twos and take-fours–"  
  
Kuro groaned, opening one eye to peer at the origin of the ruckus. "Loud," he mumbled, shifting where he sat and slumping against Mahiru, who stared at him with a mixture of embarrassment and irritation. "Too loud to sleep. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru hit him over the head. "Then don't sleep! Do something!" he huffed, then he looked at his friends and got an idea. "Kuro, wanna play cards too?"  
  
Kuro straightened up. "Cards?"  
  
"Yup!" Ryuusei finished shuffling the cards and shoved a handful in his direction. "Uno. You know how to play that, right? Come join us!"  
  
Koyuki smiled. "One more person to lose to, Ryuu-chan..."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Play... Cards..." Kuro looked down at the battered Uno cards in his hands like he was seeing them for the first time in his life. His eyes had a strange glow to them, the same nervous, excited shine he always got when he was happy about doing something new. Mahiru knew him well enough to understand that look by now.  
  
He had never played cards with friends before, had he?  
  
"Come on!" Mahiru said cheerfully, grabbing Kuro's arm and yanking him closer to their group. "Let's play as many rounds as we can!"  
  
So they did. One round, and then another one, and another and another and another until they lost count and a conductor politely asked them to keep down the noise.  
  
"That was fun!" Koyuki exclaimed as Ryuusei grumpily stuffed the cards back into the box, looking like he had spent a week outside in the rain. "There, don't be mad, Ryuu-chan... Everyone loses once in a while, you know?" He looked up across the table. "Kuro, I didn't know you were so good at this game!"  
  
Kuro turned away, his face dipping slightly pink. "Just got lucky today," he mumbled. "No big deal."  
  
"Traitor!" Ryuusei mock-scowled at him. "I thought I could at least win against you!"  
  
"Maybe next time." Kuro leaned back in his seat. "At least losing's less boring than what Mahiru got."  
  
"Hey!" Mahiru shouted, whacking him upside the head. "Placing somewhere in the middle is simple and good!"  
  
"So bland."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, the bland person won't give you any of the food he brought, then! How's that?"  
  
Ryuusei, Koyuki, Kuro, Tetsu and Hugh all perked up at the same time. "Food?"  
  
"Yes, food. I knew the train would take some time, so I made some." Mahiru rummaged through his bag to pull out several large lunch boxes. "I only had three of these," he explained, "so we'll have to share a bit. I hope that's okay?"  
  
The others opened the lids of the boxes and instantly thought that they would have been fine with just one box on the six of them.  
  
"Mine," Kuro said and snatched the middle box, just as the others busied themselves picking out different-flavored onigiri and omelet rolls out of the other two. "Thanks for the food."  
  
The others snickered. Mahiru jumped from his seat with a shout, trying and failing to retrieve the lunch box as Kuro held it out of his reach. "Hey!" he burst out. "That's for everyone! Don't just snatch the food, you thief!"  
  
Kuro's eyes glinted with mischief. "You can have some, Mahiru. Don't worry, you won't go hungry."  
  
"What do you mean, I can have some? I made these! Don't act so generous giving out other people's food!"  
  
Kuro took a long look at Mahiru's annoyed face, then his eyes gave a twinkle, as if an idea had just crossed his mind. "Mahiru," he said. "Say  _aaaah_."  
  
Mahiru gaped at him. "Wha–  _mmph!_ "  
  
Before he knew what was happening, Kuro had rather roughly shoved an onigiri into his mouth. Mahiru spluttered and coughed, taking a bite and chewing at record speed before turning to glare at his roommate. "What the hell was that?!"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Shut you up for a sec."  
  
"Shut me up, huh?" Mahiru cracked his knuckles and took the rest of the onigiri Kuro had shoved down his throat. "Then how would you like a taste of your own medicine, hm?" He held out the snack with a threatening grin on his face. "Take a bite, go on!"  
  
Kuro blinked at the food in his hand, then at Mahiru, then at the others who were watching the scene with interest. His face flushed scarlet.  
  
"I didn't know you wanted an indirect kiss from me," he said with somewhat strained amusement, turning away. "So bold. Can't deal."  
  
Now it was Mahiru's turn to blush. "Who the hell wants an indirect kiss! You brought that up, you weirdo!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki were pressing both hands over their mouths to conceal their laughter. Hugh looked more invested than a housewife watching a rom-com soap opera. Tetsu looked at them in confusion, then he leaned down towards Hugh. "What's an indirect kiss?" he asked in a whisper.  
  
Hugh gave a very amused smile and whispered something in his ear. Tetsu's eyes went wider and wider, and Mahiru could practically see the gears turning in his head.  
  
"Don't come up with any ideas," he said with a frown.  
  
"Says the guy who wanted to give me an indirect kiss... Pervert."  
  
"Who's a pervert?! Okay, that's it, give that lunch box back! No food for you! Got it, guys? No food for Kuro!"  
  
"Mean... Can't deal..."  
  
"You call  _me_  mean? Then what do you call stealing other people's food, geez?"  
  
The others sighed and looked at each other with fondly exasperated smiles.  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro? Kuro, wake up!"  
  
Kuro blinked, groaning as whatever warm, comfy pillow he had fallen asleep against suddenly started moving and shaking him awake. "Wake up, Kuro!" Mahiru's voice called painfully close to his ear, half excited, half impatient. "We have to get off the train!"  
  
Kuro gave another unwilling groan, shifting and burying his face in the warm fabric. Mm, smelled nice. A little like...  
  
...Mahiru's fabric softener... and then that pillow was...  
  
His shoulder?!  
  
Kuro sat up, suddenly feeling wide awake. His face turned hotter than a forest fire. Falling asleep on him aside, had he seriously just nuzzled Mahiru's shoulder? That must've looked so weird. And everyone must have seen him. What did they all think now? What did  _Mahiru_  think?  
  
One glance into the group told him that all their friends had seen him. Hugh raised his eyebrows, visibly intrigued. Ryuusei and Koyuki snickered as they looked back and forth between Kuro and Mahiru and their phones, leaving no doubt that they had definitely taken pictures. Kuro's face turned even hotter. He wished a hole in the ground would open and swallow him whole.  
  
Mahiru, however, didn't seem fazed at all. "Oh, you're awake! That was easier than I thought," he said with a smile, then he picked up his backpack and got up to his feet. "Come on, let's go! Misono and the others should be waiting for us already."  
  
And, true enough, when they left the train and stepped out onto the station they found Misono, Lily, Licht and Hyde already waiting for them on the platform, all of them looking more colorful than usual. Misono was dressed in his usual summer clothes, but he had sunglasses sitting on his head, and around his arms he was already wearing a pair of swimmies. Lily looked like he'd have turned up in only a pair of swim trunks but forced into some semblance of clothes by Misono, who had only managed to convince him to close one button of his shirt, and in his hands he was carrying a large parasol. Licht had apparently found a colorful shirt with a fish pattern somewhere, accompanied by a pair of binoculars around his neck, and he was holding what looked like a complete sandcastle-building equipment in one hand, a popsicle in the other. Hyde had left his shirt open over a pair of swim trunks and flip-flops, carrying a terrifyingly-sized water gun in each hand.  
  
"You're late, Shirota," Misono greeted them matter-of-factly, but the blush on his cheek and the sparkle in his eyes betrayed his excitement.  
  
"Well, sorry!" Mahiru replied, crossing his arms in defense. "The train was on time, how's it my fault if you guys arrived earlier?"  
  
Before Misono could retort, Lily gave a soft chuckle. "My apologies," he said. "Misono was so excited for this trip that he couldn't wait to get here– ouch!"  
  
"Shut up!" Misono elbowed him hard in the side, his face extremely red. "They weren't supposed to know that, Lily!"  
  
"Oh, but it's so touching! And you even woke up at five o'clock this morning because you–"  
  
" _I told you to shut your mouth!_ "  
  
Lily laughed again, lifting his arm in a motion that looked like he wanted to ruffle Misono's hair and changed his mind halfway. His barely-buttoned shirt slipped a little, revealing a fresh scar forming in the middle of his chest.  
  
"Ah... your chest," Mahiru said, quickly turning serious. "How's your injury–"  
  
Lily's smile didn't fade at all. "It has healed perfectly well," he said lightheartedly. "The doctors said I have fully recovered. Thank you very much for your concern, Mahiru-kun, but I assure you the only remainder of it is the scar on my chest." He reached for the button of his shirt. "Why, would you like to see it?"  
  
"Don't strip!" Mahiru and Misono burst out in unison.  
  
Lily gave a bright laugh and an apology, just as Licht turned abruptly around and started marching towards the station exit.  
  
"Hey!" Mahiru burst out while the others gaped at him in surprise. "Licht, where are you going?"  
  
Hyde looked back and forth between Licht and the others, apparently every part as confused as everyone else. "Hey, Angel-chan!" he called. "Don't just run off by yourself! Where are you going?"  
  
Licht didn't stop moving as he shouted back over his shoulder, "Mr. Dolphin won't wait forever!"  
  
The others looked at him and then each other, wondering if they had heard things right. "Mr. Dolphin...?"  
  
Realization dawned on Hyde's face. He gave a snort, and then without warning he burst out laughing.  
  
"Mr. Dolphin!" he repeated, nearly toppling over and falling as he clutched his sides, tears of laughter in his eyes. "Angel-chan, are you serious? You can't expect to meet a Mr. Dolphin at the beach, unless they're stranded! You're so stupid, Lichtan!"  
  
"Fuck off, shit rat!" Licht yelled back from the stairs. "Crantz said there are dolphins in the ocean! I wanna meet Mr. Dolphin!"  
  
"And I'm telling you, dolphins can't swim in that shallow water! Stupid, stupid Angel-chan!"  
  
Hyde stuck out his tongue and started off after Licht. The others looked at each other with confusion and varying degrees of exasperation in their eyes, then at the idiot duo racing up the stairs, then back at each other and sighed.  
  
"Shall we go?" Lily offered.  
  
The others nodded and started walking after Licht and Hyde, who had now stopped at the top of the stairs after realizing they didn't know the way to the beach. Mahiru shook his head at both of them and took the lead with Ryuusei and Koyuki, the others falling into stride as the trio led them out of the station, around a few corners, down a street and then suddenly the town was past them, and a fresh, salty breeze was blowing into their faces.  
  
Their feet dug into sand. A wide strip of snowy white sand spread out to either side, crowded with people of all ages, towels, umbrellas, toys and sandcastles wherever you looked, extending out to the horizon. And beyond, bright blue and sparkling, lay the vast expanse of the ocean.  
  
"Ocean!" Ryuusei shouted as he kicked off his shoes and sprinted across the sand, pointing at the blue waves ahead. "Crab! Seaweed! Sandcastle! Empty water bottle somebody forgot to toss!"  
  
Kuro stared after him. "Why's he so excited? Pointing out the obvious..."  
  
"Ryuu-chan couldn't go to the ocean last year," Koyuki replied with a laugh. "He loves the sea a lot, so he must be pretty excited."  
  
Kuro looked up at the almost frighteningly cloudless sky, the dozens of people running around or swimming in the waves, and felt the rays of the sun beating down on him and wasn't quite sure what there was to be excited about. Honestly, if it hadn't been the first time he had gone out with friends in his free time he probably wouldn't have come in the first place.  
  
A warm hand rested on his shoulder, and Kuro turned towards Mahiru to be met with a grin that outshone even the summer sun. "Come on!" Mahiru said cheerfully. "Let's go down to the sea before we lose Ryuusei."  
  
"Can't deal," Kuro muttered under his breath, then he sighed and followed Mahiru and the others as they made their way across the sand. It was already too hot to walk on at this time of the day, and it was  _everywhere_. In his shoes, in his socks, in places he had never even thought sand could reach at all, and if it hadn't meant burning his feet Kuro would have kicked off his shoes and socks and gone on barefoot in no time at all. He had no idea how Ryuusei had pulled that off without burning his toes.  
  
After what felt like half an eternity even though it couldn't have been much longer than a minute or two, Mahiru stopped, gesturing to a free spot in the sand that looked like every other free spot in the sand. "How about here?" he said. "This place looks good to me!"  
  
The others looked at each other and then nodded. Lily planted the parasol into the ground, and Mahiru spread out a picnic blanket for everyone to sit on, setting his backpack down on as the others made themselves comfortable. Hugh occupied as much of the blanket as he could, spreading himself out and burying his feet in the sand. Tetsu remained standing under the parasol with his hands in his pockets. Koyuki was dragging Ryuusei along after finally succeeding in keeping him from diving into the ocean fully clothed.  
  
Licht was halfway to the blanket when something caught his eye. He paused, staring intensely for a minute, then without a warning he took off, darted into one of the pop-up stores, disappeared for a few minutes, and finally reemerged with something huge and white in his arms.  
  
Something huge and white that, upon closer inspection, turned out to be a gigantic winged, blue-eyed, rainbow-maned blow-up unicorn floatie.  
  
Kuro gave a tired sigh. Mahiru, Misono, Ryuusei, Koyuki and Tetsu all gaped at him in varying degrees of shock, amazement, or exasperation. Lily and Hugh smiled awkwardly. Hyde took one look, snorted, and instantly burst out laughing.  
  
"Lichtan, what the hell!" he shouted over the entire beach. "What  _is_  that?"  
  
"That's Mr. Unicorn," Licht said in the most serious voice imaginable, an excited, happy sparkle shining in his eyes. "He says he wants to go swimming too. We're friends now."  
  
"Mr. Unicorn!" Hyde laughed even harder. "Lichtan, that's a plastic floatie! Those things can't even talk–" He stopped abruptly. "Wait,  _friends?_ "  
  
Licht gave a very proud nod. "He's an angelic unicorn. I've finally found another angel. He's my best friend now."  
  
"Hey, hey, Lichtan..." Hyde's grin turned awkwardly lopsided. "You've known each other for five literal seconds... What about me, Angel-chan?"  
  
"You're not my friend, shit rat!"  
  
"Say what? Angel-chan, you traitor!" Hyde struck a dramatic pose. "After all these months you betray me like that? I always thought we were friends!"  
  
"We're not friends!" Licht shot back, taking off his shoes, shirt and pants and marching off towards the water in his swim trunks, unicorn in his hands. "I can't stand you, shit rat!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, then I can't stand you either! Stupid Angel-chan! Stupid!" Hyde stuck out his tongue and marched back towards the blanket. "I hope you drown in the sea!"  
  
The others looked at each other and sighed.  
  
"It's a grade school fight, huh," Mahiru muttered quietly.  
  
Kuro nodded. "Can't deal."  
  
Hyde sat down on a corner of the blanket and sulked. Licht disappeared into the waves with his unicorn. Ryuusei stared longingly at the water, tugging at Koyuki's sleeve. "Hey, can I go back yet? Not like you can keep me up here all day!"  
  
Koyuki shook his head. "First you need to put on sunscreen," he said determinedly. "Otherwise you'll get sunburned again, Ryuu-chan. You remember what happened the last time, don't you?"  
  
"That was one time–"  
  
"Here you go, Ryuusei." Mahiru pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and threw it into his friend's hands. "You're not going home shirtless again, got it?"  
  
"One time!" Ryuusei grumbled unwillingly, but he sighed and started spreading sunscreen over his shoulders, back and chest. A few feet away Misono was doing the same, visibly struggling to reach between his shoulders. Tetsu and Lily had simply changed out of their clothes, Tetsu wearing only a pair of navy blue trunks, Lily a magenta speedo that was so tight that the others avoided looking his way for fear of too much information. Both of them looked tanned enough not to need sunscreen; Tetsu was helping Hugh apply some to his back.  
  
Kuro kept his clothes on, sitting in the shadow of the parasol and watching as the others got ready to hurry out into the water. He himself wasn't keen on all this. He didn't like the thought of taking his shirt off where strangers could see and judge him, and he didn't really feel like moving around anyway. Maybe it was better if he just stayed here for the day and took nap after nap.  
  
"Kuro?" Mahiru leaned into his field of vision, now also in his swim clothes. "Aren't you gonna get changed?"  
  
 _I don't feel comfortable,_  Kuro thought, but with all these people around he felt even less comfortable saying that out loud. So he did what he always did when he wanted to hide his feelings– he covered them up with a lightly casual attitude.  
  
"I feel kinda tired," he said, stretching out on the blanket with a fake yawn. "You guys go on ahead. You still need somebody to watch our stuff, right? I volunteer."  
  
"Like hell you do! You just wanna sleep all day, right?" Mahiru planted his hands on his hips. "Forget it! We didn't bring you all the way out here so you could laze around and take naps!"  
  
Well, of course he'd react like that. Kuro should have known.  
  
"But I don't wanna move," he complained, forcing back the sense of dread as he sensed the eyes resting on him, their friends' eyes as well as the eyes of total strangers, boring into his back. "Don't people go to the beach to relax? You guys have fun. I'm gonna have a nice relaxing beach day."  
  
"Come on, that's boring! Have some energy!"  
  
"Nope. It's too hot to move."  
  
"Then get into the water and cool down, like a normal person! Geez!"  
  
"Don't wanna."  
  
"At least try! You can't complain about the heat if you don't even bother with cooling down!"  
  
"The water's cold."  
  
"Oh, for  _crying out loud–_ "  
  
Mahiru slumped back with a sigh as the others turned towards them, watching and waiting for them to get ready and jump into the waves. Kuro felt a little guilty. He was keeping everyone waiting now... even though he didn't even want them to wait for him...  
  
"Come on, Kuro," Mahiru said gently. "Just a little bit, okay? It's more fun if you join us."  
  
Kuro said nothing. He felt very much like an idiot.  
  
Mahiru looked at him for a bit longer, trying to meet his gaze. Kuro avoided his eyes. Then Mahiru placed a hand on his shoulder, his voice much quieter now and filled with gentle concern. "Hey, Kuro... you're not scared of going into the water, are you?"  
  
Kuro stiffened.  
  
"So you are, huh..." Mahiru's voice remained patient, more and more worry leaking into his tone. "What is it? Can you not swim or something?"  
  
Kuro looked down. "I can..."  
  
"Something else?"  
  
"Mm."  
  
Mahiru looked around the beach, then back at Kuro, a thought flickering across his face. "Say, Kuro... You don't feel self-conscious about being in swim clothes by any chance?"  
  
Kuro jolted. His eyes darted nervously from side to side.  _Busted_. "Can't deal..."  
  
"Wait, really? That's it?" Mahiru's eyes went wide and soft with sympathy. "Geez, why didn't you just say so? I was pressuring you and..." He sighed. "Okay then, do what you like. But you can keep your shirt on if you go into the water, you know? Or just dip your feet into the water or something. How's that sound?"  
  
Kuro hesitated.  
  
He'd probably still seem weird or attract attention. And yet, now that he thought about it, the sea was starting to look pretty inviting.  
  
He was just about to open his mouth and reply when two pairs of hands grabbed his sides. Before he knew what was happening, a third pair of hands was lifting him up, and a moment later Kuro found himself launched up in the air and carried mercilessly towards the water.  
  
"Wh– What are you doing?" he asked, struggling and looking back and forth between his three kidnappers.  
  
Ryuusei, Koyuki and Hyde grinned unanimously. "Just cooling you down a little!"  
  
"Wait... no... stop that... can't deal–"  
  
"One, two, three!"  
  
Kuro never got to finish his sentence. His three kidnappers lifted him up even higher, got ready and threw him into the waves with a gigantic splash.  
  
Kuro spluttered and coughed. He hit the ground hard, his mouth tasted disgustingly salty, and he felt like he had swallowed an entire wave. His clothes were soaked to the core. His hair was dripping in his face, wet strands sticking to his skin.  
  
With a groan he stood back up, shaking water out of his hair and glaring at the three stooges in front of him. "What was that for?"  
  
Hyde grinned and pointed finger guns at him. "You looked like you needed to cool off a little, big brother!"  
  
"You were trying to skip out, huh?" Ryuusei gave him a smirk that didn't bode well. "Forget it, man! Nobody gets around tasting the waves!"  
  
And with that he leaned down and splashed a huge wave of water right in Kuro's face.  
  
Kuro spluttered again. Stupid water, splashing him and sticking to him and tasting all salty in his mouth. He only liked water when it was hot and quiet, like in hot springs or the bathtub. Seawater was a whole different story. He wanted out, and then wrap himself in a towel and dry off and hide under the parasol for the rest of the day.  
  
But the way these three were laughing at him was just screaming for revenge.  
  
Mischief glinted in his eyes. Without letting his gaze stray from his friends, he leaned down, took aim, and splashed a large handful of water straight in Ryuusei's face.  
  
"Wha– Hey!" Ryuusei spluttered, spitting out a mouthful of seawater. "What the hell? Hey, not funny!" He turned to glare at the other two, who had started laughing at his soaked and very unamused face. "Take this, you pricks!"  
  
With that he splashed an even bigger wave in Koyuki's and Hyde's direction. The others splashed back, and the next thing Kuro knew, all four of them were in the middle of a huge water fight, competing over who could make the biggest splash, choking on seawater, almost getting knocked over by the waves and doubling over with laughter. Even Kuro couldn't help but smile. His clothes were soaked, his hair was dripping, everything was clinging to his skin and would probably become a major pain when he got out of the water. But how could he care when he was having so much fun?  
  
"Watch out, big brother! Here comes my special technique, the Triple-Soaking Super Splash Attack!" Hyde gave a mischievous grin and sent a huge splash of water his way. Kuro dodged at the last second, but the water hit someone else in his stead.  
  
Someone who didn't seem happy to take part in this water fight at all.  
  
Licht was floating barely a few feet away from Kuro, holding on to the neck of his unicorn floatie as if he was riding a real horse. His face was splashed with water. His hair was dripping wet, dark strands clinging to his skin as drops of water trickled out of them to run down his skin and drip back into the ocean.  
  
"Oh, Angel-chan!" Hyde exclaimed, his grin growing somewhat awkward and lopsided. "So sorry, I didn't see you there! Want to join us?"  
  
Licht gave him a glare that could have killed. "Shit rat," he growled, "are you fucking kidding me?"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hyde raised both hands in defense. "C'mon, Angel-chan, it was an accident! It's all big brother's fault, he dodged my attack! I'm sorry I hit you, okay?"  
  
Licht simply continued to glare at him. "You hit Mr. Unicorn," he said darkly.  
  
Hyde gaped at him. " _That's_  your main concern?" Licht's glare darkened, and he quickly jumped back. "Just kidding, just kidding! But Lichtan, Mr. Unicorn is a  _float toy!_  He's  _supposed_  to get wet! You're so stupid, Angel-chan!"  
  
Licht's eyes screamed murder as he scowled and cracked his knuckles, every inch of him radiating intent to kill. "You got Mr. Unicorn wet," he growled quietly. "Get ready to pay for that, shit rat."  
  
"Huh? What?" Hyde backpedaled in the water. "Waitwaitwait, Lichtan! You can't kick me in here, that's dangerous–"  
  
But Licht didn't kick him. Without another word he slipped out of the floatie, shoved it into Kuro's arms, patted its head, and darted off towards the shore, running up to the parasol and digging through the bags. When he returned into the water a second later, he was carrying one of Hyde's gigantic water guns in his hands, loading it with seawater and pointing it at Hyde's head. "Die, shit rat."  
  
"My water gun!" Hyde burst out, quickly paddling as far away from Licht as he could. "Angel-chan, that's mine! You thief–"  
  
He was cut off by a well-aimed shot of seawater into his mouth.  
  
Hyde spat and coughed, yelling insults at Licht as Kuro, Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance and quickly strode out of the water, unicorn in tow. Behind them Licht shot his water gun at Hyde again, just as Hyde gave up on trying to evade him and started sprinting towards the picnic blanket himself. The other three instantly put as much distance between them as possible.  
  
"Hey!" he shouted as he watched them dodge him. "Why are you running away from me too?"  
  
"You're the main target here," Kuro replied, quickly hiding behind a lopsided parasol as Licht shot in Hyde's direction again. "Don't wanna end up as collateral damage."  
  
"You're already wet anyway! What's the difference?"  
  
"If there's no difference then why are you running? What a pain."  
  
Hyde made a frustrated noise and sped up to the picnic blanket, picking up the other water gun and starting off towards the water again. "It's time for revenge!" he yelled across the entire beach. "Just you wait, Lichtan! That's what you get for attacking people like that!"  
  
Licht yelled something back, and the two of them started darting around in the shallows, firing their water guns at each other, dodging, attacking, hiding, employing more and more complicated strategies, and pulling random strangers into their battle until their part of the beach was completely deserted. Kuro, Ryuusei and Koyuki saved themselves under the parasol, each grabbing a towel and starting to dry off.  
  
"Ah geez!" came a voice from a few feet away. "Guys, you shouldn't have done that to Kuro's clothes!"  
  
The three of them glanced up just as Mahiru came marching up to them with a disapproving look on his face. "What were you even thinking? Kuro, you shouldn't have let them do that! Now you have to get changed, or you're gonna catch a cold!"  
  
Kuro suddenly realized he had started quite a lot of water, choked and started coughing. "No need," he said quickly. "I'm gonna dry off soon. It's not that cold."  _And more importantly, I don't have any clothes I can change into except for my swim trunks. But no shirt._  
  
"You're the one who said the water was cold!" Mahiru sighed, took the towel from Kuro's hands and started rubbing him dry himself, so violently that Kuro saw stars. "And besides, seawater's salty! If all that stuff dries you'll have a layer of salt on your skin that itches like crazy! What will you do if all your clothes are salty to the core?"  
  
"We should switch outfits," Kuro replied, trying not to get slapped in the face by the towel. "Then yours would match your attitude."  
  
"Wha– Hey! Who are you calling salty, geez!"  
  
"You're salty. A salty mom."  
  
"For the last time, stop calling me that!" Mahiru gave a huff, then he sighed, finally letting go of Kuro and giving him a long look. "Alright," he said, "at least you're not soaked anymore. But I think you still need to get changed."  
  
Kuro pushed down the sudden surge of panic. "Don't wanna..."  
  
"No worries." Mahiru smiled, sitting down next to him and draping the towel over his shoulders. "You're okay with changing quickly, right? Just not with being out shirtless for a long time?"  
  
Kuro fidgeted. "I don't have a second shirt though..."  
  
Understanding dawned across Mahiru's face. He paused for a moment, then his eyes lit up with an idea, and he grinned. "I know! Are you more worried about people seeing your back or your chest? Your back, right?"  
  
"Uh..." Kuro blinked. "How'd you know?"  
  
"O-Oh, ah, you see..." Mahiru turned very pink, running a hand through his hair. "It's just, when we were changing before gym or at the sports festival you'd always stand with your back to the wall, so I thought..."  
  
Kuro blushed too. Mahiru had been paying that much attention to him?  
  
"It's... It's true," he mumbled into the general direction of his knees. "Didn't think you'd notice."  
  
Mahiru turned even pinker, then he shook it off and smiled again. "Anyway, good thing it's your back, because then I have a plan! It's probably weirder than just not wearing a shirt, but, well..." He pointed at Licht and Hyde, who were continuing their water gun fight, Lily in his impossible speedo, Hugh, who had climbed into the unicorn floatie, Tetsu and Misono, who busied themselves with a sandcastle, and Ryuusei and Koyuki, who seemed to have assigned themselves to digging a giant hole in the sand for no logical reason at all. "There's enough weirdness around here already, people won't even notice."  
  
They exchanged a half-exasperated, half-fond look, and then Mahiru laughed and reached for the hem of Kuro's shirt, pulling it over his head. Without missing a beat he reached for one of the dry towels, draped it over Kuro's shoulders, and tied it in front of his neck like a cape. "There you go! Problem solved."  
  
Kuro looked down at himself. He had to look like a cheap superhero parody, in his still-soaked shorts that were slowly starting to dry and cling oboxiously to his legs, his dripping hair and the towel cape covering his back. People would probably stare. But the strangest part was that he didn't mind at all. Mahiru was right, they were a bunch of weirdos. Nobody would spare him a second glance as long as they were busy trying to run from Licht and Hyde's water guns and avoiding the sight of Lily's might-as-well-be-naked swimwear.  
  
And it was still a million times better than people seeing the scars on his back, anyway.  
  
"I've heard of blanket capes," he said, standing up and tugging experimentally at the towel, "but towel capes? You got weird ideas, Mahiru."  
  
"Hey, whose ideas are you calling weird? If you don't like it, take it off!" Mahiru planted his hands on his hips. "And change out of those shorts too, I need to wash off the salt and then they need to dry!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Kuro said with a roll of his eyes, but he reached for his swim trunks and hid between the bags and his towel to get changed anyway.  
  
\---  
  
If anybody asked Misono how he had ended up sitting in the sand with Tetsu and trying and failing to build a decent sandcastle, he wouldn't be sure how to answer them.  
  
The last thing he remembered, he had been trying to apply sunscreen to his back and twisting himself into nigh-impossible positions, with Lily standing by and visibly trying not to laugh. He had yelled insults at him, his face beet red, and Lily had just chuckled even more; Misono had tried to throw the bottle of sunscreen at his annoyingly tanned, sunburn-proof body, accidentally caught sight of the speedo, and squeezed the whole bottle of sunscreen in his face in shock. The next few minutes were chaos and loud yells as countless hands tried to help him wipe it off and wash the gross, burning substance out of his eyes, and the next thing he knew, a pair of warm hands applied sunscreen to the spots on his back that he couldn't reach, and when he opened his eyes and turned around he found himself face to face with Tetsu.  
  
"Oh," he said, blinking at Misono's eyes. "You can see again?"  
  
"Perfectly fine." Misono crossed his arms, his face heating up a little. "I highly doubt I could go blind from a bottle of sunscreen, Tetsu."  
  
"Especially one for kids," Tetsu answered, picking up the bottle in his hands as Misono turned even redder. "Your eyes are still pretty red though... Ooh, smells nice." He looked at the bottle in surprise, then at Misono. "If you got that stuff on, you gotta smell nice too now."  
  
Misono flushed bright red for a reason that didn't have anything to do with embarrassment or sunburn.  
  
"Don't say stupid things!" he burst out, turning away. "I mean... O-Of course I smell like the sunscreen too. That isn't rocket science, Tetsu!" He cleared his throat. "I'm... I'm flattered you like the smell though, I suppose."  
  
Tetsu looked over at the sea. "I kinda wanna wear sunscreen too now. But I don't need it."  
  
 _Indeed you don't,_  Misono thought, letting his gaze trail along Tetsu's tall, muscular, unfairly tanned frame. In addition to somehow being a giant despite his tender age, Tetsu also looked like he had spent the entire summer outside in the sun, the tan lines at his shoulders and neck barely noticeable, his arms only slightly darker than the rest of his torso. How in the world had he done that? He hadn't spent all summer at the beach, had he? No, he must have been working at the family inn. An image slipped into Misono's mind, the picture of a shirtless Tetsu standing outside in the summer sun, chopping wood for the hot springs and wiping the sweat off his face...  
  
Wait! Stop! What was he thinking? What was he  _imagining_ , damn it? And to think that he almost liked it– No! He couldn't like something like  _that!_  That was vulgar! Indecent!  
  
"Uh... you okay?"  
  
Misono's brain short-circuited. Blushing violently, he turned away, forcing himself to look anywhere but at Tetsu, frantically searching for something, anything to distract himself with. Ocean... water guns... boats... float toys... people... ice cream stands... more people... parasols... towels... sand... Sand. Sand!  
  
With a sigh of relief Misono fell down into the sand, ignoring how hot it felt against his skin, burying his hands in it and starting to dig, without any clear idea what he was up to or what he was supposed to be doing. He almost felt like a dog, digging and digging through the sand as if he was searching for a hidden treasure, forcing himself to look at his hands and not Tetsu's stupid tanned shirtless body.  
  
Tetsu knelt down next to him, making him jump. "What are you doing?"  
  
"S-S-S-Sandcastle!" Misono stuttered out, trying to build something incoherent out of the sand that collapsed in a matter of seconds. "Can't you see? This is obviously a sandcastle, at the beach you have to build one, don't you? L-L-Look at this!"  
  
"Huh, cool!" Tetsu leaned closer to his shoulder, reaching forward and brushing their hands together as he picked up a large handful of sand. "Mind if I join you? I haven't really built a sandcastle since I was a kid though."  
  
The sandy blob Misono had barely managed to stack up quickly collapsed in his hands. "G-Go ahead," he stuttered, trying to regain his composure despite the threat that was the unfairly handsome boy in his personal space. "If it helps you, I haven't built a sandcastle in a good while myself." Never, actually, but there was no way he'd go out and admit that. Even in his current state he still had some dignity.  
  
Tetsu gave him a small smile and started digging deeper through the sand, systematically, not all frantically and without reason like Misono had done just now. With a few moves he had pushed the hot dry sand out of the way, leaving them with a hole in the ground and a layer of firm, humid sand that he scooped out and started patting into shape.  
  
"You can't use the dry sand," he said. "It doesn't stick together. That's what my sis told me when I tried."  
  
"Indeed," Misono answered, mentally slapping himself for not thinking of that himself. After all, the reason why humid sand stuck together was nothing but simple physics, something he had understood since he had been barely old enough to go to school.  
  
Tetsu went on with the sandcastle, and Misono followed suit, trying to copy his moves without getting too close to Tetsu or brushing their hands together or knocking over their construction. It looked mostly like a hill so far. But flatten the sides a little, and they would have an impressive main building... from there they could start building towers, or whatever else they liked.  
  
And from there they went on, slowly building a blob of sand that vaguely resembled a castle. Tetsu was surprisingly skilled with his hands, but Misono was clumsy and kept knocking things over, until at last he gave up and simply resorted to watching Tetsu build up the most amazing construction he had seen in his life.  
  
"You are skilled at this," he remarked at last, watching Tetsu look for shells in the sand to decorate the castle walls with.  
  
Tetsu looked up, a look of mild surprise on his face. "Really? I'm just kinda winging it."  
  
"You are good at... winging it, then." The slang expression rolled over Misono's tongue with awkward difficulty. "This actually looks rather decent. You are good with your hands."  
  
"That's what she said!" remarked a voice behind them.  
  
Misono whipped around, his face heating up in an instant. Tetsu tilted his head, clearly oblivious to the meaning of the remark or the implication.  
  
"Shh!" Hyde whispered as Misono tried to glare at him while fighting off his blush. "I'm hiding from Angel-chan!"  
  
"Why?" Misono hissed back impatiently. "Are you out of water? Does he not let you recharge your water gun?"  
  
Hyde gave a very lopsided grin. "I wish! No, the problem is–"  
  
" _Shit rat!_ "  
  
Hyde yelped and disappeared between the bags.  
  
"Where are you, shit rat?" Licht shouted across the whole beach, stomping through the sand. In each hand he was carrying a water gun, both fully loaded. "Come out and face me, you fucking coward!"  
  
Hyde giggled silently and pressed a finger to his lips, trying to shush Misono and Tetsu. "I'm not here!" he mouthed.  
  
Misono had more than half a mind to give him away as revenge for that stupid remark, but before he had the chance Licht stepped into something and tripped, one of his legs disappearing knee-deep in the sand.  
  
He struggled, dropping his water guns in an attempt to push himself free. On either side of him Ryuusei and Koyuki jumped up, quickly securing the water guns as they looked torn between shock and laughter.  
  
"What the–?" Licht struggled and pulled, looking every bit as baffled as Misono, Tetsu and Hyde, who were staring at him with wide eyes. "What the fuck was that?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki looked at him, then at each other. Then they both snorted and burst out laughing.  
  
"The... The hole!" Koyuki choked out, pressing both hands over his mouth to stop himself from laughing too loud.  
  
"The hole we dug!" Ryuusei was clutching his sides. "I can't believe... Dude, did he seriously just step right into it?"  
  
Koyuki nodded, laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. "I had no idea it was that deep..."  
  
Another laugh rang across the beach, but this time it came from the direction of the bags. "Lichtan, you idiot!" Hyde shrieked, falling over backwards with laughter, pointing his finger at Licht, who was still struggling with the hole whose sides would collapse every time he tried to prop himself up and pull out his leg. "I can't believe you walked right into a hole, Angel-chan! So lame!"  
  
"Shut up! Die, shit rat!" Licht reached for Ryuusei and Koyuki. "Give me my fucking water guns back! I have to kill him! I'm gonna kill this son of a bitch!"  
  
"They're not your water guns, Angel-chan!" Hyde yelled back. "They're mine! I want them back!"  
  
"Die!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki backed away as Licht finally succeeded in pulling himself out, leaving a very remarkable, albeit half-collapsed hole in the sand behind. It looked almost like a cave; Misono couldn't help wondering how Ryuusei and Koyuki had been able to reach that low without falling into it.  
  
"Why did you even dig a hole in the first place?" he asked the two.  
  
Ryuusei shrugged. "We just kinda started and got carried away."  
  
Misono would have asked something else, but at this moment Licht stood up and started marching towards the picnic blanket and Hyde, a murderous glare on his face. Hyde gave a yelp and took off running. Licht was a split second away from going after him when he almost stepped on the sandcastle in front of Misono and Tetsu and stopped in his tracks.  
  
"What is it?" Misono asked defensively as Licht continued to stare, his eyes fixed on the sandcastle, a sparkle growing in them as he leaned closer in fascination. "Have you never seen a sandcastle before, Todoroki?"  
  
Licht leaned even closer to the castle, running a finger along the walls with utmost awe. "It's enchanted," he whispered.  
  
Misono and Tetsu stared at each other, then back at him. "What?"  
  
"Sand fairies live there," Licht said, sounding as if he wasn't listening to them at all. "It's a fairy castle... We have to decorate it so the fairies will like it even more."  
  
Misono's expression turned lopsided. "Todoroki, we just built this in twenty minutes–"  
  
Licht jumped up. "I'm gonna gather seashells," he shouted, and then he was gone, down to the water to search through the sand.  
  
Ryuusei followed him with his eyes, hands in the pockets that his swim trunks inexplicably seemed to have. "There he goes," he said. "Whew, at least the water gun fight's over. I thought we were all gonna get wet again before they stopped."  
  
Koyuki nodded with a sigh. He gazed after Licht for a moment, then he looked at the sandcastle, stooping down to examine it more closely. "This is actually really pretty!" he remarked. "Looking for shells to decorate it with doesn't sound like such a bad idea."  
  
"True!" Tetsu's eyes went wide. "That's a good idea... Let's all look for some!"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki knelt down to dig through the sand, searching for seashells and pretty stones. Next to the sandcastle Misono and Tetsu did the same, running their fingers through the hot white sand and combing through it until they found something. Hugh joined them a moment later, and after a few minutes Hyde came back too, watching them with curiosity before running off again to find some shells himself. Little by little they found something, and little by little they decorated the walls of the sandcastle until it really started to look like a place where sand fairies lived.  
  
"Oh, you're so quiet! I didn't expect that... What are you guys doing?"  
  
All of them looked up. Licht and Hyde stopped fighting over a particularly large seashell to turn towards Mahiru and Kuro, who had just arrived with a box of popsicles in their hands, Kuro still wearing his towel cape, his bare skin covered in sunscreen, so evenly that it was clear as day that he hadn't applied it himself. Both of them looked at the scene with curiosity, surprised but not displeased.  
  
Ryuusei put aside his handful of shells to give Mahiru a lopsided smirk. "We're making a sandcastle, Mahiru," he said. "For the fairies."  
  
Mahiru looked at Kuro, then back at Ryuusei. "The... what?"  
  
"The  _fairies_ ," Misono replied with a roll of his eyes. "The sand fairies. Have you never heard of them, Shirota?"  
  
" _What?_ " Mahiru's eye twitched. "Fairies?! Guys, did you all spend too much time in the sun?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki nudged each other and grinned. Misono coughed to hide his laughter. Hyde pressed both hands over his mouth, but his giggles were unmistakable. Even Tetsu and Hugh cracked grins. The only one keeping a perfectly straight face was Licht, who had pulled the seashell from Hyde's hand in the confusion and now carried it over to the sandcastle. "This is the door," he said, shiny-eyed. "So the sand fairies can get in and out whenever they like."  
  
Mahiru looked from Licht to his friends and back to Licht. Understanding dawned on his face. " _Oh._ "  
  
The others burst into giggles. Hyde nearly toppled over laughing. Mahiru joined in, and even Kuro's eyes twinkled with amusement.  
  
"Looks nice though," Mahiru remarked as soon as they had all calmed down, stooping low to examine the castle. "You all made that together?"  
  
They nodded.  
  
"That's amazing!" Mahiru smiled from ear to ear. "Great job, guys, it looks awesome! Just like a real little castle! We should take a pic–" Kuro lifted the box of popsicles and hit it against the back of his head. "What?"  
  
Kuro pointed at the popsicles. "They're gonna melt, Mahiru."  
  
"Crap, you're right!" Mahiru jumped and straightened. "All right, everyone, let's take a break! Popsicle, anyone?" He started handing them out and looked around. "By the way... where's Lily?"  
  
The others jumped up and glanced from side to side. Everyone seemed to have forgotten all about Lily... well, almost everyone.  
  
"He's over there," Misono said with an annoyed scowl, pointing at a small crowd standing a little way off, consisting of girls and women of all ages and a handful of boys and young men, all looking equally lovestruck. Standing in the middle of it all, smiling politely and talking, was Lily, visibly enjoying himself.  
  
Misono watched for a moment, then he jumped to his feet, carefully stepping over the sandcastle and marching over the sand. "Lily, you bastard!" he yelled across the beach. "Don't go around posing in front of strangers! And wearing... wearing...  _that_ , too! Do you have no shame?"  
  
Lily interrupted his conversation to peer over the heads at Misono, smiling politely. He said something that looked like an apology to the disappointed crowd, stopped for a moment longer to do something that looked suspiciously like giving out his number, then he slowly made his way out of the group of people to wave at Misono with a big smile on his face.  
  
"My apologies," he shouted over. "I was only enjoying the water and sun and the next moment all these lovely people came up and wanted to talk to me. Who am I to say no to such pleasant conversation?"  
  
"They were hitting on you, bastard! And that is only because you're wearing–" Misono pointed at Lily's middle and stopped in his tracks. The obnoxious speedo was gone. Sitting in its place was a pair of normal swim trunks, still painfully magenta but a million times more modest.  
  
" _Lily!_ " Misono yelled so loudly that a handful of seagulls flew up with startled shouts. "Since when are you wearing something decent again? Why did you not wear that from the very beginning, you bastard?!"  
  
Lily gave a good-natured laugh. "I do prefer the other pair, but that one was wet, so I changed into something dry..."  
  
Misono let out a string of incoherent noises, spluttering and pointing a furious finger at his friend. "You– You...!!"  
  
Tetsu looked back and forth between them in confusion. "What was wrong with the speedo?"  
  
"What a naïve question, Tetsu," Hugh replied with a proud smile. "Allow me to explain–"  
  
" _No!_ " Mahiru, Misono, Ryuusei and Koyuki all yelled at the same time.  
  
"Why not?" Tetsu and Hugh asked in unison.  
  
"Uhh, uhm..." Mahiru's eyes darted around as he searched for a proper excuse. "Well, that's a bit... you see, uh..."  
  
Kuro rattled the box of popsicles in his hands.  
  
"Oh! Right! Popsicles! Thanks a lot, Kuro!" Mahiru positively beamed at him, taking the popsicles from his hands as Kuro turned slightly pink and mumbled, "Can't deal." "Everybody get some popsicles before they all melt!"  
  
The entire squad was crowded around him in less than two seconds. Ryuusei and Koyuki were the first ones to grab a popsicle and disappear, licking and munching peacefully. Hugh couldn't reach the box, so Tetsu handed a popsicle down to him, but not before an in-depth discussion on which flavors were available and which ones he wanted. Licht tried to grab three, only to get yelled at by Mahiru and Hyde, ignore Mahiru and pick a fight with Hyde over a bunch of melon-flavored popsicles. Misono got pushed back by the others and made Lily get one for him over everyone else's heads.  
  
A moment later everyone was sitting in the sand again, munching on popsicles, everyone except Mahiru and Kuro, who had already finished theirs earlier. Licht had only managed to secure one popsicle in the end, but he was looking at it like a trophy. Misono didn't pay attention and started dripping on his chest, hurriedly wiping it off with a blush of embarrassment. Hyde took an overly large bite and gave himself a brain freeze. Lily looked at his phone, having evidently already received texts from his new friends, and nearly got ice cream on the screen.  
  
Mahiru leaned back and buried his feet in the sand. "They're pretty weird, huh," he said. "But fun."  
  
Kuro closed his eyes and turned his head to face the breeze, inhaling the salty scent of the sea. "Mhm," he mumbled. "I guess it's actually okay to go outside sometimes."  
  
"Just admit you're enjoying yourself, shut-in."  
  
"Hot springs are still better though. Summer's a pain."  
  
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Mahiru shot him a playful glare, then he cracked a good-natured grin. "Then again, if you hadn't said that I probably would've wondered if you've had too much sunlight today."  
  
"I think I already did," Kuro said, pointing at his chest. "Look."  
  
Mahiru threw a glance at his chest and gave a startled yelp. "Kuro, you're all red!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Geez, why didn't you tell me earlier? And after helped you apply sunscreen too!" He hurried over to his backpack and started rummaging. "That's all because you're so pale!" he scolded. "You should spend more time outside, then your skin wouldn't be so sensitive! Now where did I... oh!" He pulled out a bottle of after-sun gel. "Hold still, I prepared for this. Hold on..."  
  
Kuro made a small startled noise as Mahiru knelt down, squeezing some of the gel onto his palm, picking it up with his fingers and running his hand over Kuro's reddened chest, light and soothing, the semi-transparent white gel refreshingly cool on his burned skin. Slowly, gently, Mahiru spread it over the entire burned spot, his touch gentle and every bit as calming as the after-sun treatment itself. Kuro closed his eyes. Before he knew it a contented sigh escaped his lips, and he found himself relaxing, wishing that this would continue forever, that Mahiru would never stop...  
  
"Okay, guys!" Ryuusei's voice rang over the beach. "Who's up for some beach soccer?"  
  
The next thing Kuro knew he had produced a ball from somewhere and started splitting the whole group up into teams with frightening enthusiasm. Kuro was just about to excuse himself and watch over the bags, but as if he could read his mind Ryuusei stepped into his way, arms crossed and a terrifying grin on his face that reminded him more than a little of Mahiru.  
  
"You're playing too!" he said, shoving the ball in his hands. "Without you we're an uneven number!"  
  
Kuro inched to the side, but Ryuusei stepped in his way again. "Don't you need a ref or something?"  
  
"I'm the ref! And I'm playing too," Ryuusei replied, still grinning. "I'm the only one in here who knows the rules, anyway."  
  
"Don't cheat, Ryuu-chan," Koyuki remarked from the side.  
  
"Like hell I'm gonna cheat! Just 'cause you cheated at Uno earlier..."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him," Mahiru butted in before Koyuki could respond. "Kuro, you're playing too! Everyone's playing, look! Even Misono."  
  
"Shirota! What was that supposed to mean, you bastard?"  
  
"Hey, it's not like you play a lot of sports..."  
  
"Certainly not." Misono gave a proud little huff. "But since this is my... my  _friends_  asking, I think I'll make an exception."  
  
"How generous of you," Ryuusei said sarcastically.  
  
"You...! Do you want me to join or not?"  
  
"As if you'd let this opportunity escape you, Misono."  
  
"You shut up, Lily!"  
  
Kuro gave a long, slow, defeated sigh and let himself be sorted into one of the teams. There were two teams of five; he and Mahiru were on the same team, as well as Tetsu, Hugh and Licht. Ryuusei and Koyuki, Misono and Lily and Hyde were on the other, and Licht and Hyde were already holding a glaring contest over the improvised middle of the field.  
  
"I'll kick your fucking ass, shit rat," Licht growled through his bangs.  
  
"Go ahead, Lichtan," Hyde said with a smirk. "Revenge for the water gun fight earlier?"  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!" Mahiru butted in, jumping between them with his hands raised. "If you need to kick anything kick the ball, the  _ball!_ "  
  
Too late. Ryuusei had just given the signal when both Licht and Hyde darted ahead, leaping for the ball, circling each other and fighting a wild battle for its possession, trying to trip each other and pull and push each other away. Licht emerged victorious first, making a lightning-sharp pass in the direction of the goal and slamming it in between the two shovels marking the goalposts. It bounced several times and rolled away downhill as Licht's teammates blinked, the opposing team booed and Licht turned around to strike a pose.  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"Terrible!" Hyde pointed at the ball that was still rolling down towards the sea. "The ball's getting away! Go get the ball back, Lichtan!"  
  
"You go get the ball back, shit rat!"  
  
"Why me? You kicked it!"  
  
"It's your fault!"  
  
"Alright, fine, I'm going!" Mahiru huffed and started off after the ball, catching up and sending it back onto the field with a high kick. Licht and Hyde were instantly on its trail again. There was a lot of pushing and pulling, a brief struggle, and then the ball darted out of the field again, in the opposite direction this time, flying through the air in a high arc and hitting something with a sandy crack and crunch.  
  
Everyone turned around. They all followed the trajectory of the ball to its goal, landing on the spot where it had hit the ground.  
  
Ten faces went pale at the same time. The ball had hit the sandcastle everyone had been building earlier.  
  
"Aaaaaaargh!" Ryuusei screamed, running over to the sad remains of the sandcastle and trying to save it, only making it tumble down further. "The sandcastle! You ruined it! What were you guys thinking?"  
  
"That's right, Todoroki!" Misono marched up to Licht with murder in his eyes. "Do you know how much work a sandcastle is? Do you appreciate that at all, you bastard?"  
  
But Licht wasn't listening. He had already dropped to the ground with wide eyes, all blood drained from his face, stubbornly trying to build the sandcastle back up with his hands. "The fairy house..."  
  
"This is your fault, Angel-chan! You broke the fairy house!"  
  
"Shut the fuck up and help, shit rat!"  
  
Koyuki sighed. "And it was so beautiful..."  
  
"No, Licht's right." Mahiru knelt down next to Licht and Ryuusei and began to help. "Thinking simply, we just need to build it up again! Come on, everybody, help us!"  
  
Not even Kuro complained.  
  
Rebuilding the sandcastle took them the largest part of the afternoon. Every once in a while they took breaks and had lunch under the parasol, gladly gobbling down what was left from Mahiru's lunchboxes and the snacks they bought from the nearby grocery store. When they felt like it they jumped into the water again to cool off, Licht let some of them borrow his unicorn floatie, they split a watermelon and Misono nearly split the sandcastle with a stick, and by the time they finally looked at their finished work the sun was already starting to set on the horizon. It looked nothing like the sandcastle before; it was much bigger, full of details and life and strange ideas, decorated with shells of all sizes and colors, seaweed, and even a tiny live crab Licht had caught somewhere after the others convinced him that he couldn't take it home and keep it as a pet. It wasn't something you'd find in a picture book; it looked unique, and somehow as they looked at it, none of them would have it any other way.  
  
They all stood around it in silence. The sun was sinking lower. The ocean had taken on a dark blue color. The thought that they would soon have to pack up and get back home hung unspoken in the air.  
  
"Well," Lily said at last, "before we leave, why don't we all take a picture with our work?"  
  
The thoughtful, gloomy faces lit up. Koyuki pulled out his phone. Lily arranged them all so that everyone was visible in the picture, then he joined the group with a big smile on his face. "Send it to all of us later," he said. "Or rather, send it to Mahiru-kun, he'll send it to the rest of us. Won't you, Mahiru-kun?"  
  
Mahiru grinned. "Of course!"  
  
The set the timer on the camera, posed, and all smiled as it flashed.  
  
And as Kuro took off his towel cape and changed back into his day clothes, letting his gaze roam over the quiet beach and the setting sun and the blue ocean, he couldn't help feeling a little sad that they had to leave.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru typed away on his phone, not looking up for so long that he almost walked straight into the apartment door.  
  
"Kids these days," Kuro remarked as he peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of the screen. "Always on their phones... Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Texting the pic to Sakuya." Mahiru's expression turned thoughtful. "I bet he would've enjoyed himself too if he'd been with us."  
  
He frowned to himself. Come to think of it... in the end, Sakuya had never turned up after all.


	40. A Lie For a Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have all this cleared up in no time."

"He's been like this all day."  
  
Lilac's tone was a whisper as he leaned over the mahjong table to speak to the others, his eyes resting on the figure sitting on the windowsill, staring at nothing and no one in particular. Sakuya didn't seem to have moved much since yesterday evening. Nobody knew if he had ever left this place to sleep last night, and he had barely eaten. The only time he had done something other than stare at his own reflection in the window he had pulled out his phone to send a text this morning, and then he had gone back to brooding in silence.  
  
Otogiri frowned slightly, her usually blank face showing a trace of concern. "I didn't think telling him would make such an impact," she whispered back. "Maybe I should've kept it a secret from him. This is a problem."  
  
Tsubaki shook his head. "You did nothing wrong, Otogiri. He would have found out anyway."  
  
Silence. If Sakuya had noticed that they were whispering about him, he didn't let it show.  
  
"Tsubakyun, Girioto!" Berukia tried to whisper, but it turned into more of a stage whisper instead. "What do we do with hiiiiiim?"  
  
"Uhm..." Lilac raised his hands. "Y-You didn't ask me, but maybe just give him some time–"  
  
"Let's not bother with him, young master," Shamrock interrupted him. "If it takes him this long to deal with it, we should actually question his loyalty and think about–"  
  
Tsubaki stood up, ignoring Berukia's whisper-shouted complaints about interrupting the game. "I'll talk to him."  
  
He crossed the room with a few swift steps and sat down on the windowsill next to Sakuya.  
  
No reaction.  
  
"Sakuya," Tsubaki called quietly.  
  
Sakuya shifted slightly and turned his head away from Tsubaki to stare into the night, but he didn't say a word.  
  
Tsubaki sighed quietly, all mischief leaving his face as he inched closer to his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder and frowning when he felt him flinch. "Sa-ku-ya," he said in a light voice, devoid of mischief, almost gentle. "Aren't you bored sitting here like this?"  
  
Sakuya tried to turn even further away, twisting himself into a painful-looking position. "Leave me alone."  
  
"No, I won't." Sakuya blinked in mild surprise, and Tsubaki continued in that same light, friendly voice. "I won't sit there and watch you be miserable without even trying to help. And the same goes for everyone here. Right, guys?" he added, turning over his shoulder to address the table.  
  
Berukia gave a shout of agreement. Lilac and Otogiri nodded. Shamrock made a face that could vaguely be read as hesitant agreement.  
  
Tsubaki gestured to the table. "See? So tell us how we can help you, Sakuya."  
  
Sakuya threw a glance at the group around the table, the shadow of guilt crossing his eyes before he sighed, shifted, and pulled up his knees to wrap his arms around them. "Why are you doing this?" he muttered. "Just let me be."  
  
"Because 'ohana' means family," Tsubaki replied with a smile, "and family means no one gets left behind."  
  
Sakuya sighed as Tsubaki pressed both hands over his mouth to hide his laughter in a rare attempt at tactfulness. "I knew I shouldn't have let you watch that movie." He rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're really family anyway."  
  
Tsubaki abruptly stopped laughing at his own joke. His face turned serious in an instant, serious and almost hurt. "Don't say that, Sakuya!"  
  
"What? It's true." Sakuya leaned his head against the window. "I have no family. It's not like I want one either. We're just a bunch of outcasts who live together. You don't have to care that much about me."  
  
"Everyone here is like family to me."  
  
"If you say so, Tsubaki-san." Sakuya gave a quiet sigh. "But you really don't have to do anything. Just leave me alone for a bit, I'll try to sort this out in my head."  
  
"What cheers you up when you feel sad?"  
  
Sakuya paused for a moment, then he turned, shooting an annoyed glare in Tsubaki's direction. "Were you not listening, Tsubaki-san? I told you to leave me alo–"  
  
"Should we watch a funny movie?" Tsubaki mused, covering his mouth with his overly long sleeve, deep in thought. "No, maybe something sad would be better so you can cry out your pent-up emotions... Or maybe we should crash a party and have some fun? Or how about ordering your favorite food–"  
  
Sakuya turned around to give him a long, sharp, pointed look. " _Tsubaki-san!_ "  
  
Tsubaki blinked. "Not?"  
  
"No." Sakuya narrowed his eyes into a cold, icy glare. "Just. Leave me. Alone."  
  
Tsubaki shuddered and shrank back. "Okay, okay..." he said with horror on his face that only looked partly like a joke. "Scary."  
  
Sakuya went back to staring at the window. Tsubaki gave another quiet sigh, as if he was not at all happy with this solution, then he turned away, facing the others again. "You heard him. Let's give him a break," he said. "Sakuya needs to be alone for some time."  
  
 _We can see that,_  the others thought unanimously, but they nodded, finished their game of mahjong, and moved into another room.  
  
Sakuya stayed behind, lost in thought. He barely registered when the door opened and his friends and roommates started walking outside, and he didn't notice Tsubaki staying behind in the doorway to look at him with sympathetic eyes before finally slipping out and closing the door behind him. He didn't notice the sun disappearing behind the buildings, the sky turning a darker and darker shade of blue that finally faded to black.  
  
Time came to a stop. Somewhere in the distance windows and streetlights started to flicker, bright, faint stars in a sea of darkness, unable to light up the night with their weak yellow twinkling. Cars came and went. Down in the street the silhouettes of people moved in and out of the tiny illuminated circles underneath the streetlights. Airplanes crossed the dark sky like slow, steady shooting stars, but Sakuya knew better than to make a wish. Everything felt faint and distant and unreal. Even himself. Even his own feelings.  
  
Stars appeared in the sky, one after the other like a crowd coming together, watching the ground from their distant places above. Somewhere behind one of the taller buildings the edge of a sickly pale moon appeared, moving at a snail's pace as if it was a college student unwilling to get up in the morning. A little bit like– no, Sakuya wouldn't think of that. He wouldn't think of  _that guy_. He wouldn't think of anything that had happened, anything he had heard from anyone. He should forget.  
  
No, who was he kidding. He couldn't forget. He wouldn't forget. He didn't want to. As painful it was, as infuriating, he would take these feelings and this grudge down with him into his grave.  
  
Something buzzed in his pocket. His phone. For a moment Sakuya considered crushing it in his hand or switching it off and ignored it. Then his curiosity got the better of him, and he pulled it out and threw a glance at the screen.  
  
It was from Mahiru. Of course it was; Sakuya would have been surprised if he hadn't texted him after he missed their long-planned beach day. It contained a picture of the entire squad, Mahiru, Ryuusei, Koyuki, Kuro, Misono, Lily, Licht and Hyde, Tetsu and Hugh, posing behind an impressive-looking sandcastle in the sunset. Sakuya scowled. Four former Servamps. Why hadn't he seen it earlier?  
  
 _Too bad you couldn't come with us today,_  the message below said.  _Next time you should definitely join us, okay?_  
  
Sakuya clenched the phone in his hand, cold, bitter resentment burning in his eyes. "You liar."  
  
\---  
  
Still nothing from Sakuya.  
  
Mahiru threw a glance at his phone and sighed. It had been two days, and Sakuya hadn't texted back once. Not that it was such a rare occurrence; Sakuya was constantly meandering back and forth between answering texts in seconds and leaving them on read for a whole week, and right now it looked like he was in the second more. All by itself this was normal, no big deal.  
  
And yet Mahiru couldn't help worrying. Sakuya's prolonged silence might have been concerning by itself, but combined with the circumstances it was definitely at least a little alarming. First his call yesterday saying something came up when he'd been looking forward to the beach trip as much as the others had. The way he hadn't even told them what happened before vanishing and not even picking up his phone. The way he had promised to try and catch up later, only to stay absent the entire day. And now he wasn't even replying to Mahiru's text, even though the Sakuya he knew would never hesitate to complain about them having fun without him. This silence, this complete disappearance... It was unnatural. It didn't fit Sakuya at all.  
  
Had something happened to him? Mahiru knew he shouldn't be thinking about that, and yet he couldn't get the question out of his head. What had come up two days ago, exactly? What had kept him so long? Was that thing still keeping him somewhere? Did he need help? What if it was a problem he couldn't handle on his own and Mahiru was still here waiting for him to text back when he should be helping him?  
  
But what could it possibly be?  
  
Mahiru sighed and stirred the curry in the pot to keep it from burning. He had no idea. Sakuya had never mentioned anything that was giving him trouble. His grades were good, and he didn't seem to have problems with his family either. Was he sick, maybe? Had he not told them that for fear that they might postpone the trip to look after him? That sounded like something Sakuya might to. But still, didn't he usually just outright tell them and make a stupid joke about how sick he was and mockingly bid them farewell when he had so much as a cold?  
  
Why hadn't he called Mahiru that day, anyway?  
  
Mahiru nearly dropped his spoon. He had completely forgotten about that... and yet, the more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Usually, in a situation like this, the one Sakuya would call was Mahiru, his best friend. But that day he hadn't even tried to reach him. He had called Koyuki instead, asking him to deliver this cryptic message. And now he wasn't responding to Mahiru's messages...  
  
Could it be that Sakuya wasn't altogether impossible to reach? Could it be that he just didn't want to interact with  _Mahiru?_  
  
But why?  
  
Had Mahiru accidentally said or done something to upset him? He couldn't remember anything. Had he hurt him somehow and not noticed? But he hadn't acted any different than usual, had he? Just the same as always... but if that was true, then why...?  
  
Mahiru shook his head. He should stop overthinking things. Nothing good ever came of jumping to conclusions, especially if he was worried enough already. What he should do was nudge Sakuya again and ask the others if they had heard anything from him. Maybe they had a good explanation and it was all much simpler than he feared. After all, it wasn't like Sakuya's parents would suddenly pull an Alicein and make him cut ties with his childhood friends, would they? Sakuya had never really complained about his parents. Come to think of it, he hardly mentioned them at all. The only thing he'd ever said about them was that his family was pretty embarrassing, and he'd rather not let them see his friends. They had never even forbidden him from doing anything before, even things others his age weren't allowed to do, so why should they start now?  
  
"Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru almost dropped his spoon into the curry. "Kuro!" he exclaimed, spinning around to find his roommate slouching over the kitchen counter next to him, barely a few inches away. "Don't startle me like that, geez!"  
  
"Not my fault if you're spacing out. Can't deal," Kuro replied with a yawn. "Is lunch ready yet? I'm hungry."  
  
"Not yet!" Mahiru slapped him over the head. "Stop rushing me, geez! I wouldn't even have to cook if you'd ever learned to make anything but cup ramen, so quit complaining!"  
  
Kuro yawned again. "Sure thing, Mommy. So how much longer till lunch?"  
  
"Till it's ready! Geez, you're like a kid!"  
  
"Everyone's a kid next to the great mommy Mahiru-sama."  
  
"Say that again and I'll slug you!"  
  
Kuro gave him a half-amused glance, stretched, and rested his head on the counter, watching as Mahiru gave a huff and went back to stirring the curry. The rice should be ready soon too, he had to keep an eye on the rice cooker. No, actually...  
  
"Kuro?" he asked without looking up from the pot. "Could you–"  
  
"You're being weird."  
  
Mahiru stopped with the spoon in midair, turning around to blink down at Kuro. "Huh?"  
  
"Weird," Kuro said again, stretching over the counter and staring at the rice cooker. "Like you're kinda out of it. Spaced out or something... ever since we got back from the beach." He yawned. "Got too much sunlight?"  
  
"Like hell I did!" Mahiru smacked him again. "I'm doing just fine! More importantly, how's your sunburn?"  
  
Kuro still didn't look up from the rice cooker. "Gone."  
  
"Good. Now don't go telling  _me_  about getting too much sun till you tan a little!"  
  
"Can't deal..."  
  
Mahiru focused on the curry again. Kuro continued watching the rice as it started to boil. For some time everything was quiet except for the bubbling noises from the pots and the scraping of the ladle against the ground of the curry pot.  
  
"You're still weird though," Kuro said at last.  
  
"What now?" Mahiru gave a huff that came off as more of an irritated sigh. "I'm not getting sick, if that's what you mean!"  
  
"Worried about something?"  
  
Mahiru sighed. Kuro was still not looking at him, but his voice betrayed his concern. Mahiru knew him well enough to recognize the pose, the way he stood perfectly quiet, only seemingly relaxed while listening intently to anything he might say. Typical.  
  
Oh well, might as well spill the beans. Kuro had a right to know too, after all.  
  
"Yeah, I'm worried," he admitted. "About Sakuya."  
  
Kuro said nothing, but his body tensed up the tiniest bit, revealing his attention and curiosity.  
  
"It's just... He suddenly didn't join us for the beach and didn't even tell us why," Mahiru said, staring at the pots on the stove. "And now he's not texting me back... It's just weird, you know? Not really like him..."  
  
Kuro was quiet for a very long moment, as if pondering Mahiru's words, debating what to say, how to reply. His eyes were still focused on the rice cooker, which was starting to bubble louder and louder and let out steam. The tips of his fingers twitched slightly where they lay on the counter.  
  
"Y'know," he said at last, "maybe he's just busy."  
  
Mahiru grinned awkwardly. Kuro's answer sounded so blunt and simple that he felt a little embarrassed to have worried so much. Maybe he was right, and Mahiru had been overthinking... and yet he couldn't shake the feeling that this was different. This wasn't it. There was something bigger behind this, and he couldn't point his finger on it.  
  
"I thought about that," he admitted, "and it's still weird. Why did he tell Koyuki he wasn't coming and not me? I mean... usually he tells me that kind of stuff. And now it almost feels like he's ignoring me..." His face clouded over. "You don't think I could've made him mad somehow? I mean... I haven't been acting weird around him or done anything I don't normally do or..."  
  
"You've been hanging around with  _us_."  
  
Mahiru paused. The rice cooker started to boil in the silence.  
  
He hadn't been imagining it. Kuro's tone had changed. There was nothing of that teasing edge it had sported only a moment ago, nothing of that sleepy, lazy calm. Instead there was something darker, something deeper he couldn't understand. All he knew was that the sound of it tasted cold and bitter on his tongue.  
  
"What..." He took a step back. "What do you mean?"  
  
Kuro switched off the rice cooker without looking up at him. "You've been doing everything with us delinquents," he said in that same tone, a tone that changed his silhouette, his aura, until Mahiru felt like he was looking at a century-old immortal being instead of the awkward teen he knew. "You forget it all the time, but we're not tame housecats. We're fighters and killers, Mahiru. Not everybody likes us... or seeing their friends with us."  
  
Mahiru looked at him for a long, quiet moment. Kuro's voice, his words were hurting him, yanking and pulling and twisting in his chest, gripping his heart with the urge to reach out and touch Kuro, run a hand through his hair or gently stroke his back and remind him that no matter what he said, he wasn't a bad person. But when he opened his mouth no sound came out, the words sticking to the back of his throat in a jumbled mess, unable to form a single sentence.  
  
"I don't think that's it," he said instead. "I mean, I've been hanging out with you since April and Sakuya never really complained. I mean, he kept telling all those creepy stories, but..." He laughed softly at the memory. "That's just Sakuya, you know. He lives for creeping people out."  
  
Kuro didn't look up. "Mhm."  
  
Mahiru let his hand hover inches over Kuro's back, unsure if he should touch him or not. The curry bubbled on until he turned off the stove. The kitchen was quiet.  
  
"Well," Mahiru said at last, "the more I think about it, the less stuff I can think of that I could've done wrong... Maybe I'm just overreacting. Got paranoid after what happened to Misono, you know?" He smiled warmly. "Thank you, Kuro. Talking to you really helped me get grounded again."  
  
Kuro didn't answer immediately, but his posture relaxed. Mumbled into his arms and the counter, almost too quiet to catch, Mahiru caught the words "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru laughed. "Come on, let's have lunch," he said, reaching for the curry pot. "Weren't you the one complaining about being hungry a moment ago? Let's eat before it gets cold."  
  
Kuro straightened up, nodded, picked up the rice cooker and followed him to the table, helping him put out plates and spoons without complaining for a change. He was oddly quiet as they ate, his eyes dark and troubled, as if Mahiru had somehow passed his worries onto him just by talking about Sakuya. He was starting to half wonder if he should have kept quiet after all.  
  
"Still thinking about what I said?" he asked between two spoonfuls of curry. "Kuro, you really don't have to worry. I've probably just been overthinking and Sakuya's been busy or ran out of data for the month. Don't let it get to you."  
  
Kuro pushed his food around on his plate. "Maybe..."  
  
"Of course!" Mahiru grinned. "I bet that's it, and in a couple days he texts us back with some stupid made-up horror story about why he disappeared. That's what happens every time, you know? And even if he doesn't, we can just ask him at school and it's gonna turn out he lost his phone." He laughed. "That's how Sakuya is."  
  
Kuro didn't answer, but he was starting to look a little less worried.  
  
"You know what?" Mahiru continued, heaping a second serving onto his plate. "I'm just gonna ask Ryuusei and Koyuki if they've heard anything from him. And if they haven't... well, thinking simply, we just have to visit and check up on him!" He took a bite. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have all this cleared up in no time."  
  
\---  
  
"Tsubaki-san."  
  
Tsubaki nearly dropped the tub of matcha ice cream in his hands, catching it at the last minute and setting it down on the table before turning around. "Sakuya!" he exclaimed, blinking up at his friend with wide startled eyes. "You startled me... I thought you were still on the windowsill!"  
  
Sakuya looked off to the side and shrugged. "Not anymore, I guess."  
  
Tsubaki gave him a long, curious look. Sakuya definitely didn't look great. All that time of sitting at the window and staring outside without proper food or sleep was starting to show on his face; the shadows under his eyes could rival Kuro's, and his cheeks had sunk in a little, the cheekbones visibly more prominent than before. He looked pale and worn-out, but at least he was up and about again, standing here and talking to him instead of sitting at the window in silent, brooding isolation.  
  
"Are you feeling better?" Tsubaki asked tentatively, motioning to the ice cream on the table. "Are you hungry? You can have some ice cream if you want."  
  
Sakuya glanced down at the ice cream tub and shook his head. "No thanks."  
  
"Anything else then?" Tsubaki nodded towards the fridge. "Sham did say we weren't allowed to touch the fridge at night, but if he complains, I'll tell him it was an ancient spirit." He giggled into his sleeve. "A spirit, Sakuya... it came from the fridge..." He pressed both hands over his mouth to keep down his laughing fit, careful not to wake their roommates sleeping upstairs.  
  
"You could also just tell him it was an emergency because I was about to die of starvation," Sakuya replied blankly.  
  
Tsubaki laughed even harder, then he abruptly stopped mid-giggle. "Sakuya, that's boring."  
  
There was an awkward silence. Sakuya gave him a long-suffering look, sighed, and turned away. "I'm going back–"  
  
"Wait!" Tsubaki jumped up to his feet without a moment's hesitation. "What did you come here for then? Did you not want to ask anything from me, Sakuya?"  
  
Sakuya looked at the ground. In the dim glow of the streetlight outside his eyes seemed the color of dried blood trapped inside two orbs of glass, cold, empty and grim.  
  
"Tsubaki-san," he said at last. "Give me something to do."  
  
\---  
  
Ryuusei put down the tray of empty ice cream cups and wiped the sweat off his forehead. It was scorching hot today, and his summer job had swiftly become a living hell; from every corner of the neighborhood people had turned up wanting ice cream, and he had been running back and forth between the tables outside and the inside of the ice cream place for the entirety of his shift, watching people eat cold, delicious, wonderful ice cream without being allowed to try a single spoonful himself. His only consolation was that it was almost time for his break, or otherwise he might have lost his mind.  
  
"Ryuu-chan!" called a voice just as he had been about to slump against the nice, cool, wonderful wall, and he groaned, straightening up again with a grimace. "Ryuu-chan!" Koyuki called again as he hurried in through the door, still wearing his own work clothes from the convenience store across the street, his default worried expression on his face. "There you are, I've been looking for you!"  
  
"I'm in the same place as always," Ryuusei deadpanned, slumping back against the wall. "Melting into a puddle. What's wrong?"  
  
Koyuki dug through his pockets and pulled out his phone. "Did you check your messages today?"  
  
"My  _messages?_ " Ryuusei stared at him as if he had just made a very bad joke. "When do you think I had time to–"  
  
"Excuse me!" called a voice from one of the tables, and Ryuusei suppressed a curse and hurried off, taking another order before hurrying back and passing it on inside. Then he sighed, sank down on the ground for a moment, and closed his eyes.  
  
"It's been like this all day," he groaned. "I've been running a marathon over here. I'm starting to feel like Mahiru."  
  
Koyuki laughed sympathetically. "Don't worry, at least you don't have to deal with angry customers complaining that their favorite brand of popsicles sold out." He sat down next to Ryuusei, his phone still in his hand. "When's your break?"  
  
"Couple more minutes," Ryuusei replied, looking at the clock. "Why, what's going on? What's with the me–"  
  
Before he could finish there was a shout from inside telling him the order of ice cream was finished, and he darted out and quickly made his way back to the customer's table, only to be asked for the bill on the way back inside, hurry back out, get the money, hurry back in to get change, and return to the table only to be told to keep it. Putting on his best smile, he thanked the guests, bid them goodbye, and finally made his way back to Koyuki, collapsing against the wall once more.  
  
"Okay, now I'm on break," he gasped. "What were you gonna tell me?"  
  
"Right." Koyuki pulled out his phone. "Did you check your messages– oh right, you were busy..." He made a somewhat awkward face. "Check your messages, Ryuu-chan. I think this is important."  
  
Now more confused than ever, Ryuusei frowned, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. There were several new messages, most of them from soccer teammates and one of them from Koyuki, asking him something about a text from Mahiru. And then there was the message from Mahiru itself, sent to both of them several hours ago.  
  
 _Guys,_  it read,  _just out of curiosity, have either of you heard anything from Sakuya since our beach trip? He's not texting me back and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who can't reach him..._  
  
Ryuusei looked at the message for a long moment, then back at Koyuki. "Is that it?"  
  
Koyuki nodded, his expression now distinctly worried, so worried that it made even Ryuusei stop in his tracks. "What do you think happened to Sakuya?" he asked. "Not texting Mahiru back... You don't think something happened between them, do you?"  
  
"Between Mahiru and Sakuya?" Ryuusei gave a loud snort. "Nothing's ever gotten between those two since kindergarten. I mean, Sakuya tells stupid stories and Mahiru hits him for those, but they've never actually had a fight, right?" He shrugged. "And even we did."  
  
Koyuki looked unconvinced. "Well, you're right..."  
  
"Sakuya's never been mad at Mahiru for as long as we know him," Ryuusei declared, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "He's not gonna start now. Chill, Koyuki. Sakuya's probably just lost his phone or ran out of data or some stupid stuff like that. Like that one time a couple years ago when he suddenly came back after like a month and made up that story about dying and coming back to life."  
  
Koyuki nodded. "Probably... but we should still try to reach him, shouldn't we?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever. You call him, I'm not gonna take my phone back out." Ryuusei closed his eyes. "Did you already try?"  
  
"Yes, but he didn't answer the phone." Koyuki frowned and tapped around on his phone screen, finally pressing the call button and holding the phone to his ear. "Hold on, I'll try again."  
  
Ryuusei sighed again, got up and inched closer. He still wasn't worried about Sakuya, but he was curious; if that guy picked up now, he might try to tell a stupid story and he didn't want to miss that. Who knew what kind of excuse he had now.  
  
The phone gave a long beep, then another one. It had just started beeping a third time when there was a click, and a second later Sakuya's voice sounded through the speakers. "Hello?"  
  
"Sakuya!" Ryuusei and Koyuki shouted at the same time. Ryuusei caught himself sounding every bit as relieved as his friend.  
  
"Yeah!" Sakuya said cheerfully, sounding perfectly normal and as bright as ever. Then he paused, and his tone turned to surprise. "Why do you two sound so relieved? Did something happen?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance, wondering what to say.  
  
"Honestly, Sakuya!" Koyuki said after a moment's pause, looking almost as motherly as Mahiru in scolding mode. "Where have you been the past few days? We were all worried!"  
  
Sakuya sounded baffled. "Worried? About me?"  
  
"Well, duh!" Ryuusei shouted into the phone. "First you dump us on the beach day and don't even tell us why and then you don't call us or text us or anything! The hell have you been doing, man? We thought something happened 'cause you didn't answer our calls and texts!"  
  
Sakuya didn't answer for a little while. When he finally spoke again his voice was oddly dark, almost gloomy. "Oh... sorry to make you worry, guys. I actually didn't tell you what happened because I didn't want you to worry, but looks like that backfired..."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a very nervous glance. "What happened?"  
  
"Oh, ah, you know..." Sakuya's voice grew quieter and gloomier by the second. They both listened closer, practically pressing their ears to the speakers.  
  
"The truth is," Sakuya admitted softly, "I actually found out something pretty scary, and that's why I didn't come."  
  
They both swallowed. "Scary?"  
  
"Yeah." Sakuya sighed. "I met a demon that could see the future, and he told me that if I went to the beach with you we'd all meet a dark and gruesome death."  
  
Silence.  
  
"And now," Sakuya continued in a bright, chipper voice, "how much of that was a lie?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki gave such a loud unanimous groan that some of the other waiters turned around and stared at them in confusion.  
  
" _Sakuya!_ " Ryuusei yelled into the speaker. "Dude, can you just stop screwing around and tell us what happened?"  
  
Koyuki gave a slow, long-suffering sigh. "I don't know why I was ever expecting anything else..."  
  
"All right, all right! In my defense, this opportunity was way too good to miss." Sakuya laughed, then his voice returned back to normal. "No, don't worry. I just caught the flu and was knocked out for a couple days and didn't want you guys to worry. I'm already doing better though–"  
  
"The flu?" Koyuki frowned in serious concern. "Sakuya, take care!"  
  
"Hey, I just said I'm fine! Unless you count the spirits I've been seeing–"  
  
"You sure you're all right?" Ryuusei cut him off, ignoring the creepy nonsense voice he had started to put on once more. "We can drop by your place and check up on you if ya li–"  
  
" _No!_ "  
  
Koyuki almost dropped the phone. "Sakuya, not so loud!"  
  
Sakuya was silent for a moment, as if caught off guard by his own outburst. When he spoke again his voice sounded odd, insecure somehow, as if what he was saying wasn't the entire truth anymore.  
  
"Oh, ah, uh..." Ryuusei could almost picture his eyes darting about, searching for a particularly absurd excuse. "It's just, the spirits at my place, they don't like visitors..."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki didn't even bother telling him off.  
  
"That's cool, dude," Ryuusei deadpanned. "Tell the spirits I said hi. And why do you  _really_  not want us to come?"  
  
Sakuya's voice leveled out once more. "It's not worth it. I'm not that sick, my family's looking after me..." His voice took an odd tinge for a moment. "But I'm still contagious. Unless you want to catch my flu?"  
  
"No, thank you," Ryuusei and Koyuki said in unison.  
  
"Okay!" Sakuya answered brightly. "Good! Anyway, I can't keep talking for much longer so if there's anything else–"  
  
"Sakuya."  
  
Ryuusei blinked. On the other end of the line Sakuya made a small puzzled noise. Koyuki didn't sound like his normal self at all. His voice had changed; it had lost it's ever-worried ring, cutting through Sakuya's words with almost grave seriousness.  
  
"Did something happen... between you and Mahiru?"  
  
Sakuya fell silent for a very long moment, so long that Ryuusei started wondering if he had hung up.  
  
"Of course not!" he said at last, his voice so chipper and cheery that it almost sounded fake. "Nothing could ever get between me and Mahiru. We're best friends forever and ever and ever!" He laughed. "Why?"  
  
"Oh, it's just..." Koyuki's eyes darted about, a little embarrassed. "He says you haven't been responding to him, so we all got a little worried."  
  
"Ah, well, you know Mahiru." Sakuya's voice sounded calm in a way that felt well-rehearsed, as if he had been preparing for this exact question all the while he had been missing. "If he'd known I was sick, I don't think I could have kept him from coming to my house and fussing over me and catching my flu."  
  
\---  
  
" _Sick?_ " Mahiru repeated, so loudly that a nearby bird flew up with a startled chatter. "Did you just say he's sick?"  
  
Koyuki clapped a hand over his mouth, looking extremely embarrassed. "Oh, sorry," he stuttered out. "He asked us not to tell you till he was cured... forget what I said–"  
  
"Forget it?" Mahiru planted his hands on his hips as he jumped off the bench, not caring that half the park could probably see and hear him. "Like hell I'm forgetting a single word you said! Sakuya, sick? Not tell me until he was cured?" He gave a furious huff. "That idiot! What does he think he's doing, making us worry like that!"  
  
Koyuki shrank back. "Mahiru, calm down..."  
  
"Shut up, Koyuki, he's right," Ryuusei replied as he nudged him in the ribs. "Mahiru's his best friend and he didn't tell him a thing..."  
  
"Because he didn't want him to get sick too, Ryuu-chan!"  
  
"That's a stupid reason! He could've just asked him not to show up, it's not like Mahiru's  _that_  careless!"  
  
"This is Mahiru we're talking about! He's too selfless for his own good–"  
  
"Hey, you two! I'm still right in front of you, geez!"  
  
They both shut their mouths. Koyuki still looked ashamed and embarrassed, Ryuusei calm but mildly annoyed. Mahiru sighed. He couldn't believe this mess. He also couldn't believe these two idiots sometimes, but at least all this was something he could handle.  
  
"It's no big deal," he said, sighing at both of them. "Koyuki, thanks for slipping up and telling me. Don't worry about me, you two. Yeah, I'm going to check up on Sakuya but I'll be careful not to get sick, okay? So stop freaking out. I'll just drop by his place and check how he's doing."  
  
Koyuki blinked at him. "Now?"  
  
"Sure." Mahiru threw a glance at the sky, which was slowly getting darker as the sun was setting behind the Tokyo skyline. "It's not that late. And I have no clue if he's had anything normal to eat all day."  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru was very quiet as he hurried back home, walked back into the apartment, and barely bothered to toe off his shoes and wash his hands before making his way to the kitchen, wondering what to make. Sakuya probably needed something healthy and nutritional. If he was already doing better, he would need food that would give him strength and help his recovery... yes, that would do. He rummaged through the cupboards and fridge and started cooking.  
  
Honestly, he didn't know how to feel. On one hand he wasn't happy. Sakuya had told Ryuusei and Koyuki what was wrong but refused to tell him, even now that he was doing better. Granted, it was out of worry, and Mahiru wasn't exactly doing much to disprove his best friend's fears, and yet he couldn't help feeling a little hurt all the same. Everyone but him... It was a little disappointing, perhaps, after all the secrets they had shared. And yet, Mahiru thought as he remembered his own secrets, the rearranging of the Servamps so thinly hidden behind the goofy friend group he had amassed, if it came to lying to protect the people he cared about, he really couldn't go around pointing his finger at anyone.  
  
But at the same time he felt relieved, too. Relieved it was only a flu. Relieved that Sakuya had a logical and understandable reason for hiding things from him. Relieved that he hadn't done anything wrong, that it was nothing serious.  
  
"Whatcha doing?"  
  
Mahiru almost jumped against the stove. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Kuro's footsteps at all.  
  
"Kuro!" he gasped out, throwing an accusatory glance at his roommate. "Don't sneak up on me like that, I could've set something on fire here!"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "I don't mind burned food."  
  
"It's not for  _you_ , geez!" Mahiru gave a huff and turned back towards the stove. "It's for Sakuya. I just found out he's been sick the past couple days, so I'm gonna drop by his house and check up on him and give him some proper food."  
  
"You're such a mom," Kuro mumbled. "You gonna go now?"  
  
"Why not?" Mahiru asked, turning off the rice as it started to boil. "It's not like I'll be long. Sakuya doesn't live too far."  
  
There was a moment's silence as he continued preparing the food, allowing the rice to cool off and taking care of the other ingredients and setting up a bento box in the meanwhile. If Kuro had gone off anywhere, Mahiru hadn't noticed.  
  
Then, at last, Kuro spoke up again, sounding oddly serious.  
  
"I'm going with you."  
  
Mahiru turned around. "What?"  
  
"I'm going with you," Kuro mumbled again, talking into the vague direction of his feet. "It's already dark outside... the city's kinda dangerous at night. Who knows what might be creeping around there."  
  
\---  
  
"So, Otogiri?" Tsubaki asked, letting his eyes roam over the entire gang assembled around them. "Did you find out anything useful?"  
  
"Yes." Otogiri nodded, her blank face betraying as little emotion as ever, although Sakuya could have sworn he saw a shadow briefly cross her eyes as she met his gaze. "I have looked into all our information, and it is now beyond a doubt that at least four of the Servamps have reassembled, together with several other people."  
  
"Just as expected." Tsubaki smiled humorlessly. "And who are these other people?"  
  
"Class 2-A's Licht Jekylland Todoroki." Otogiri counted them on her fingers, her voice blank but grave. "Class 2-B's Alicein Misono. 1-D's Sendagaya Tetsu. And their leader..." She locked eyes with Sakuya again.  
  
"Their leader is Shirota Mahiru."  
  
And Sakuya's fragile, carefully constructed world finally cracked at the edges.


	41. False Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much more was Sakuya hiding behind that cheerful grin and his silly stories?

Mahiru.  
  
Mahiru. Mahiru. Mahiru.  
  
Of all the people in the world, of all the seven billion, out of everyone in this stupid school, it had to be Mahiru. His best friend. The leader of the reassembled Servamps.  
  
Sakuya didn't know why he hadn't seen it before. No, thinking back, he probably had. He had noticed the signs, and he had chosen to ignore them. He had chosen to lie to himself, to pretend he hadn't seen anything, hadn't noticed or guessed or understood a thing. He had told himself it was just Mahiru's popularity. He was good at making friends, he always had. He had been the first person to befriend Kuro and change him completely. Sakuya had told himself that it was the same with the other former Servamps, that Mahiru had simply reached out to them because he was head of the disciplinary committee and it was his job to keep the delinquents in check, and his way of doing that was by trying to make friends with them. He had told himself that it was a coincidence that all these people had reassembled in one spot. That even if the Servamps were indeed reforming, Mahiru had nothing to do with it.  
  
It had been convenient. It had been the cheap, easy way out, telling himself that Mahiru wasn't part of this mess. It had been easy to tell himself they would never have to face each other on opposing sides. It had been easy to tell himself that Mahiru would never become his enemy... that he would never have to choose where his loyalties lay.  
  
But now he couldn't do that anymore.  
  
Shirota Mahiru was on the side of the Servamps. Shirota Mahiru was the one who had brought them together again. Shirota Mahiru, the same Mahiru with whom he had played in the sandbox when they were barely old enough to speak, the same Mahiru who he had comforted when his mother died, the same Mahiru who had taught him to climb trees and fold paper cranes and who he had taught to catch bugs and make shadow puppets, was the leader of the reassembled Servamps.  
  
His enemy.  
  
Sakuya ran faster, kicking a loose pebble that flew through the air and ricocheted off a wall with a stony clack. Mahiru was his enemy. The thought he had spent months trying to deny had finally taken root in his mind, growing and creeping until it encompassed and swallowed all his thoughts and feelings. Mahiru was his enemy.  
  
And he had never told him anything.  
  
Sakuya clenched his fists.  _Not one single word,_  he thought bitterly as he followed Berukia and Otogiri along the streets, careful to keep to the shadows in case someone was watching them. His hand clenched around the switchblade in his pocket. All these years of being friends, and Mahiru had never told him one word of this. Not a hint. Nothing. All these years, and Mahiru didn't trust him enough to tell him what he was doing.  
  
No... that wasn't it. Mahiru hadn't just kept it from him. He had  _lied_. Sakuya had asked him if he was hiding anything, and Mahiru had told him he wasn't. With a smile, as if this was no big deal at all. As if he told such lies on a daily basis.  
  
Lies. Lies. Lies.  
  
Mahiru had lied to him.  
  
His best friend of many years was a liar. Just like everyone in the world. Just like  _them_.  
  
Sakuya's grim expression slipped and distorted into a hollow, bitter smile. The last remnant of normality slipped off his face and fell down to shatter into a thousand pieces like a mask. This was why he hated the world. This was why he hated people. No matter how nice they acted, in the end they were all liars. Cheaters. Traitors. And as much as he had hoped that his first and best friend wasn't one of them, reality had finally caught up to him in the end.  
  
Mahiru was just like them. Mahiru was a liar. Mahiru had acted like he trusted him, like he cared, but in the end when push came to shove that former Servamp leader had known everything about him and Sakuya had not. That was enough for him. Mahiru had chosen his sides, and now Sakuya had too. No matter what they had shared, he wouldn't side with a liar and an enemy.  
  
"Mahiru..." he whispered, the grin on his face so wide and unnatural and desperate that it twisted and tore at his face. "Just you wait, Mahiru."  
  
Because now that Mahiru's lie was out, Sakuya could finally drop his façade too.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru walked down the street, his pace slow, his eyes following the street signs, trying to find the one name he recognized, the street he was looking for. It had been awhile since he had last crossed these streets, passed these houses. Years, at the least. If not a decade.  
  
He hadn't been to Sakuya's house in ages, he realized. Sakuya never really invited anyone over. When the others asked to hang out at this place, he would always tell some spooky story of demons in his closet or ghouls in the bathroom, and when they hit him over the head for it he'd usually say something about his family being too embarrassing to introduce them to his friends. Mahiru didn't know when Sakuya had started saying all that. Back in elementary school he had been at his place a few times, met his parents and older sister, and all of them had seemed startlingly normal. Compared to Uncle Tooru, at least.  
  
Speaking of, hadn't something happened to his sister? Sakuya had been vague back then... something about an accident...  
  
Mahiru frowned. Yes, something had definitely happened... but Sakuya had never told them. He hadn't liked the topic, and soon the others had learned to avoid it for his sake. Wasn't it back then that he had started making up strange things and joking about lies? What had happened to his sister that day? Had she died? But how...?  
  
"Mahiru."  
  
He blinked and snapped out of his thoughts, just in time to avoid colliding with Kuro's back. "Wha–?"  
  
"Here." Kuro pointed to the street sign above their heads. "Isn't this where you wanted to go?"  
  
Mahiru followed his hand up to the sign, compared it with the name of the street written on his phone, and nodded. "Yeah... yeah, that's right," he said, staring at the familiar-growing shapes of the buildings in the dark. "Crap, I almost missed it! Good thing I had you with me, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro mumbled something unintelligible. Mahiru smiled and tucked away his phone, memories flooding back into his head as he turned the corner and started walking along the street. He didn't need a map to find his way anymore. He remembered again. This way... five houses, and then the sixth should be...  
  
He came to a stop in front of a high, boxy building that looked exactly like all the others here, a few windows illuminated, others pitch-dark and empty. Mahiru let his eyes trail along the face of the house, following the rows of windows up to the place where he remembered Sakuya's apartment to be.  
  
The windows were dark and empty.  
  
Furrowing his brow, he stepped around, observing the house from all sides. Not a single window in the apartment was lit. All of them were pitch-black, like soulless, tired eyes that had no more life left in them.  
  
Was Sakuya not home? Out, sick as he still was? That'd be irresponsible. And what about his parents, were they still working? Had he made use of their absence to sneak out and do something stupid instead of waiting to recover? That did sound like Sakuya... but he wasn't that stupid, was he? And it was late, his parents should be home already unless they worked night shifts...  
  
...What did his parents work as again?  
  
He didn't know. He couldn't remember. But this still seemed strange. Every time he had come here Mahiru had always seen these windows alight, full of life and laughter. Unless something had happened...  
  
Could Sakuya and his parents be in the hospital? No, he said he was doing better already... but what if his sickness had come back? Or what if he had lied, and he wasn't already recovering after all?  
  
 _Calm down,_  he told himself.  _Maybe he's just gone to bed already. Sickness makes you tired._  
  
Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the rows of doorbell buttons, scanning the names on the signs next to them. Watanuki... Watanuki... If he remembered correctly, it should be here, somewhere...  
  
But the name Watanuki wasn't written on the doorbell sign that went with Sakuya's apartment, nor was it on any of the others. All the names on the signs were perfectly unfamiliar.  
  
Kuro peered over his shoulder, curiosity mingling with concern in his red eyes. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Sakuya's house..." Mahiru stared back and forth between the doorbells and the dark, empty windows as if they would offer him any explanation. "It... It was this one, right?"  
  
He could have sworn it was. He remembered so well. So what was going on here? Had Sakuya moved? Without ever telling him?  
  
"May I help you two young men?"  
  
Mahiru jumped, spinning around to find himself face to face with a friendly-faced old lady, a pair of grocery bags hanging from each of her hands.  
  
"Y-Yes," he stuttered out, taking a step back and almost bumping into Kuro. "You... You don't happen to know if a family named Watanuki lives here?"  
  
"Watanuki?"  
  
The old lady blinked, her eyes widening behind her thick glasses. For a moment she seemed confused. Then her eyes strayed up to the empty windows, and slowly, thoughtfully, she nodded.  
  
"They lived here," she said slowly, reminiscence reflected in her eyes. "Very pleasant people, but a little strange and distant, all of them. We never spoke much... All I know is that, around two years ago, they all suddenly disappeared."  
  
Mahiru's eyes flew open. " _Disappeared?_ "  
  
Sakuya... disappeared? But how... but that–  
  
"Yes." The old lady nodded gravely. "From one day to the next, all three of them were suddenly gone... never left a notice for us or anything. No one in this house even knows if they are still alive... Rumor has it they were killed, but the police never found any bodies." She sighed. "And sometimes I think I still see their boy, what was his name again..."  
  
"Sakuya," Mahiru rasped.  
  
"Yes, Sakuya-kun. But it might be my imagination."  
  
"I think it's not," Mahiru whispered, tearing his horror-struck gaze away from the old lady. "All right, thank you very much! Have a nice evening!" He ran back to the street and along the sidewalk. "Let's go, Kuro!"  
  
Kuro's footsteps followed him down a few blocks, then Mahiru slowed down, his chest heaving with heavy breaths. His heart was pounding against his ribcage. His mind was reeling. It was as if someone had torn the ground from underneath his feet, leaving him spinning and floating in midair, without anywhere to go or anything to hold onto. This wasn't real. None of this seemed real. It made no sense. It made no sense! That old lady had to be lying. This had to be some brand of a joke. Sakuya couldn't have disappeared. None of his family had. He had never even said a word about moving, and he would definitely have told Mahiru, right?  
  
...Right?  
  
Where was he?  
  
Why didn't he live in his old house?  
  
Why did people in that house think he disappeared?  
  
What had happened to him and his family?  
  
Why had he never told Mahiru anything?  
  
What had happened?  
  
How much more was Sakuya hiding behind that cheerful grin and his silly stories?  
  
Watanuki Sakuya...  
  
 _Who was that again?_  
  
Mahiru shook his head. No need to panic, not just yet. There had to be some sort of explanation for this, something surprisingly, amazingly, incredibly simple.  
  
And yet... as he stood there, staring at the house he thought was Sakuya's, the empty windows that should have been Sakuya's, he couldn't help feeling like the Sakuya he knew was slipping from his grasp, sliding through his fingers like a flickering hologram, nothing but an illusion, a projection, unreal. As if he had never truly known him at all.  
  
"Ma...hiru?"  
  
Kuro's voice roused him from his thoughts. Glancing down, he noticed the hand lingering on his arm, so lightly that he hadn't even felt the touch, the red eyes that looked at him with dark, unveiled concern.  
  
"Sorry," he said, willing himself to take a deep breath and reach for his phone. "This is weird, but... there has to be some kind of explanation, right? Thinking simply..." He tapped and scrolled over the screen, searching for Sakuya's contact information and hitting the call button, holding the phone to his ear as his heart pounded wildly against the inside of his entire body. "Thinking simply, if I just call him... he'll explain and it should all make sense..."  
  
 _Hopefully..._  
  
He let it ring once. Twice. Thrice. Each silence between the rings felt like an eternity, an eternity of staring into the darkness and hearing his heartbeat drum against his ears.  
 _  
Pick up, pick up... please...  
  
How am I going to find you if you don't tell me where you are? Sakuya–_  
  
"Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru froze. This was Sakuya's voice, without the trace of a doubt. But it didn't come from the speaker.  
  
"Sakuya?" he shouted, spinning around and staring into the darkness, frantically searching for the origin of the voice. "Sakuya, is that you? What's the meaning of–"  
  
"Mahiru!"  
  
Sakuya slipped out of the shadows and ran up to him, surprise and horror mingling in his eyes. "Mahiru, what are you doing here?"  
  
His eyes were wide, he was out of breath, and his hair was a mess, sticking in every direction as if the wind had tossed it around at will. There were scratches and bruises in his face, dark stains on his clothes that Mahiru couldn't identify in the darkness. He looked strange, not at all like the cheery class clown Mahiru was used to seeing. And yet, the look on his face, the worry in his eyes was familiar and very much human, a constant reminder that, at the core, this was still the Sakuya he knew.  
  
"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" he shouted, giving Sakuya's shoulder a rough nudge. "I came to check up on you after hearing you were sick, you dummy! Look, I even made you dinner!" He shoved the bento box into Sakuya's hands.  
  
Sakuya blinked down at the box, then back up at Mahiru. Something stirred in his eyes, a conflicted emotion that Mahiru couldn't quite name. "You shouldn't–"  
  
"Yes, I should! And what's that about not telling me you were sick, geez? Do you even know how worried we all were? At least reply to our calls and messages, for crying out loud!" Mahiru gave an annoyed huff as all the worries and fears from the past few days came erupting from him all at once, exploding in Sakuya's face in a furious monologue. "Why are you even out if you're still recovering, anyway? Do you want to get sick again? And what happened to you?" He gestured to Sakuya's bruises, his messy hair and his stained clothes. "You look like you got into a fight! Who gets into a fight when they're not even supposed to be out again yet, you absolute–"  
  
He swallowed the insult and took a deep breath. Sakuya was still looking at him with those wide eyes, half terrified, half confused. Then he gave a sigh and smiled.  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that," he said with a sheepish grin. "I just felt like I needed some fresh air and went out... I didn't mean to get into a fight, but I saw some guy trying to rob an old lady, so  _thinking simply_  I had to help, right?" He winked. "It's what you would've done, Mahiru-sama."  
  
Mahiru gave a sigh. "You could've just called for–"  
  
"I had no time!"  
  
Mahiru said nothing, and Sakuya dropped his gaze. His silly grin had faded into the shadow of a smile, hollow and empty, his eyes and his entire face filled with regret and sadness. "I'm so sorry, Mahiru."  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it–"  
  
"I'm sorry," Sakuya said again, and his voice was as hollow as his eyes, as if it was coming from the depths of an invisible abyss. "I'd promise you that I'll be more careful in the future... that I won't get hurt... but..." His face was completely blank. "That would be a lie."  
  
Mahiru took a step back, chills running down his spine. "Sa...?!"  
  
"What if I told you," Sakuya went on, staring sightlessly like someone in a feverish delirium, "that I get into fights a lot more than you think? What if I told you I never tried to save anyone from a robber? What if I told you I've sent people to the hospital before, Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru shuddered, forcing down the urge to back away again, reaching out and grabbing hold of Sakuya's arm, meeting his frantic, burning gaze. "I wouldn't believe it," he said calmly. "The Sakuya I know would never hurt anyone for no reason."  
  
 _Oh, really?_  a voice whispered in his mind.  _Are you sure about that? Are you sure you even know Sakuya at all?_  
  
He shut it down. "I've known you for my entire life," he said, forcing Sakuya to keep eye contact with him as his eyes tried to dart away. "We've always been together. You're like my brother, Sakuya. And I know you'd never do something like that, okay? So snap out of it!"  
  
 _Who am I trying to convince?  
  
Sakuya... or myself?  
_  
Sakuya's gaze wavered. For a split second the feverish glow in his eyes subsided, replaced by a flicker of emotion, a small, fragile glint of vulnerability. Then a wild grin spread over his face, and he lowered his head, messy bangs falling into his eyes and obscuring his expression.  
  
"Do you really know me?" he asked in that hollow voice, but this time it wasn't sad or blank. This time it was almost like he was on the verge of manic laughter, his shoulders trembling as the grin on his face grew unnaturally wide. "Are you sure, Mahiru? Then what about my house? What about not finding me there? Don't you think it's weird I never told you I moved? You, my best friend?"  
  
Mahiru swallowed. Sakuya was right, of course. It was weird. But... but not as weird as Sakuya's behavior!  
  
"Of course I was confused!" he yelled at him. "But I thought there was a simple explanation! Thinking simply, you must've had a good reason for all this, right? That's the kind of person you are!  _Sakuya!_ "  
  
"You're right."  
  
Sakuya's voice had changed again. The laughter in his tone was gone, leaving nothing but hard, shaking, grim bitterness as he stared at the ground, still smiling that inhuman smile. "I had a good reason for everything," he said. "I never told you we moved because  _we_  never moved at all. I got into fights because  _he_  asked me to. I hurt people because that's what  _he_  wanted. And right now..." He raised his head to meet Mahiru's gaze, but his eyes stared right through him into an unknown emptiness. " _He_  sent me to take out the shadow leader of the rebuilt Servamps. Now who is that, I wonder..."  
  
 _How much of that was a lie?_  
  
Mahiru waited for that sentence. He waited for Sakuya to start laughing and admit it had all been a joke, but there was no laughter, no grinning remark. He was dead serious, more serious than he had ever looked in his life.  
  
And then the pieces fell together to form a sharp, clear-cut picture.  
  
"You're with Tsubaki," Mahiru heard himself gasp. "You're part of Tsubaki's gang!"  
  
"And you're with the Servamps."  
  
Sakuya lowered his head, and something cold dropped in Mahiru's gut. He wasn't denying it, he realized. Sakuya wasn't denying that he was with Tsubaki. The leader of the same gang that had captured and brutally injured Licht and Hyde, the same gang that had nearly stabbed Lily to death. The very gang Mahiru was trying so hard to protect people from.  
  
Sakuya, the same Sakuya who had made up a secret language with him and comforted him when his mother died, was part of a gang that hurt people. Sakuya had hurt people too. Brutally. Sakuya might have endangered people's lives... he might have helped hurt Mahiru's own friends.  
  
"Sakuya..." Mahiru whispered, fingers digging into his friend's arm. "This is a joke, right? You're just making all this up to mess with me, right?"  
  
"A joke?" Sakuya's arms started trembling under Mahiru's grip. His entire body began to shake. His breath hitched with a sob, and when he flung up his head there were tears streaming down his face, his eyes full of fury and disappointment and cold, bitter hatred.  
  
"A joke!" he burst out, his voice reverberating from the walls. "Mahiru, what are you doing? Why are you teaming up with people like that? I told you they were dangerous! Didn't I warn you? I warned you so, so, so, so many times!"  
  
Memories flickered through Mahiru's head. Sakuya's voice, hollow and mock-spooky, telling strange stories about Kuro and the Servamps. Sakuya's face, pulled into a distorted grimace, his hands raised menacingly to cast shadows on the wall.  _H_ _e knows how to fight really well, and he took out an entire rival gang on his own once. Rumor has it that he even killed a guy, so you better be reeeeeally careful around him..._  
  
He hadn't been making up all this? He had meant every word... he had been serious?  
  
"How were those warnings?" Mahiru shot back, half terrified, half furious. "I thought you were messing with me again! How the hell was I supposed to know what you meant and what you didn't?"  
  
"I always meant every word!" Sakuya wiped his eyes, leaving a bloody streak on his face where he had smeared the half-dried blood from his fingers against his skin. "I never told a single lie! But you..." His voice crumbled and broke. "You lied to me! All these times I asked you if you were hiding something! All the times I asked you if something was up! All this time you've been lying in my face!"  
  
Mahiru flinched. The words felt like a cold slap in his face, a sudden shove backwards, like walking into an invisible glass door in the middle of a sprint. "So what if I did?" he shouted back, desperation erupting in his voice, hot and frantic. "I did it because I didn't want you to get caught up in something! I was just trying to protect you!"  
  
"Shut up!" Sakuya's tears mingled with the blood on his face, running down his cheeks and leaving bright red drops on the concrete. "You lied to me because you don't trust me!"  
  
"I keep telling you, that's not–"  
  
Sakuya didn't listen. His eyes glazed over, his gaze staring into nowhere as he spoke again, sounding as if he was talking to himself, musing out loud without caring who might overhear. "Lies are terrible things," he said quietly. "They're instruments of murder. Once you've been lied to you can never trust that person again. Things can never go back to the way they were. Like when someone dies."  
  
Mahiru shuddered. Staring wide-eyed at his friend, he inched backwards, moving closer to Kuro, searching for escapes from the corner of his eye. "Saku–"  
  
"Like getting stabbed in the chest with a blunt knife," Sakuya went on, a whole earthquake trembling in his voice. "Like slowly getting cut up into tiny little pieces... that's what it feels like to be lied to. So you have to  _lie_  before others  _lie_  to you... kill or be killed, Mahiru..."  
  
"Sakuya, listen–"  
  
"You killed me." Sakuya's eyes went dark, all shine faded to leave them looking like dull marbles the color of dried blood. "And now I'm going to kill you... unless you kill me first."  
  
He sounded like he meant every word.  
  
Mahiru swallowed, his body tensing up, ready to fight or flee. "Sakuya, what are you–?!"  
  
Something flashed in Sakuya's hand, a glint of light, almost too brief to catch, so fleeting that Mahiru wondered if he might have imagined it. Then a hand grabbed his arm, and he found himself yanked back by a frantic grip of iron.  
  
"Watch out, Mahiru!" Kuro's voice cut through the air. "He's got a knife!"  
  
Mahiru stared at Sakuya's hand, hoping that Kuro was wrong, knowing deep down that he wasn't. Kuro was used to combat. He had the instincts. He had the knowledge. If someone was armed, he'd be the first to know.  
  
"That's not true!" he shouted, ignoring his voice of reason, ignoring the look in Sakuya's eyes, ignoring everything but the violent, burning feeling of loyalty, the feeling that this couldn't be right, that Sakuya would never do any of this. "Tell me that's not true, Sakuya! It's a lie, right?" A knot caught in his throat, a tight, heavy lump that didn't move no matter how hard he swallowed. His eyes started to sting. "It can't be true! That Watanuki Sakuya is a violent gangster who hurts people... that's nothing but a cheap, stupid lie!"  
  
But Sakuya only grinned, a mirthless, empty grin painted with nothing but utter despair. The knife flashed in his hand, unmistakable this time. "People only believe what they want to believe, do they?" He trailed the edge of the blade with the tip of his finger. "I made the same mistake, Mahiru. I believed your lies because I didn't want to know that you were my enemy. And it almost worked. Too bad... One more day, and we all would've enjoyed ourselves together on the beach."  
  
He took a step towards Mahiru, and Kuro's grip on his arm hardened. Mahiru stared at the knife in Sakuya's hands. What was happening? Why was Sakuya holding a knife? Why was Sakuya walking towards him with that look? Why was he trying to attack him? Hadn't everything been fine between them just a few days ago? What was happening? What was happening?  _What was happening?_  
  
Another tear rolled down Sakuya's face as he lifted his knife.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mahiru."  
  
The next second was a flash of movement, so fast that Mahiru couldn't follow with his eyes. All he saw was the glint of the knife, and then he was pushed back as a silhouette jumped in front of him, catching Sakuya's hand in midair, blocking his view.  
  
"Kuro...?"  
  
"I'll handle him," Kuro said without turning around. "Get outta here, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru hesitated. His eyes flitted to the knife in Sakuya's hand, shaking dangerously in Kuro's grip. They flickered back to Kuro's tall form, shadowed against the lone streetlamp, tensing up and unraveling like a predator on the hunt. If anyone could handle this fight, Kuro could. Mahiru had never fought in his life, he couldn't help him if he tried. The best thing would be to get out of here as fast as he could.  
  
But... he had a bad feeling about this.  
  
Sakuya's arm wrenched in Kuro's grip, threatening to tear itself free. His knife was still hovering dangerously close to Kuro's face. Kuro tightened his grip and tried to twist the knife from Sakuya's hand, but Sakuya refused to let go, grabbing Kuro's free hand with his own and slowly forcing it away.  
  
They were measuring each other, Mahiru realized. Standing in front of him were two fighters, scanning every inch of each other's body and mind with their eyes, waiting for an opening, an opportunity to strike. Both were interlocked in a silent battle of gazes, wordlessly daring the other to lose his cool and make the first move.  
  
Kuro was an experienced fighter. But so, from the looks of it, was Sakuya.  
  
Could Mahiru really leave them alone? Could he really leave Kuro alone, protecting him from his own friend when that friend was after him in the first place? Could he let him keep fighting here by himself, unarmed against an opponent who had a knife? Who would help him if something went wrong? Who would save him if he got injured?  
  
And if Sakuya lost... who would help  _him?_  
  
"Mahiru!" Kuro hissed, his right arm shaking with tension. "Hurry up!"  
  
To do what? Leave his two best friends fighting here alone until one of them gave up or suffered such a grave injury that he couldn't keep fighting?  
  
" _Forget it!_ "  
  
He jumped to his feet, storming up to the two of them, trying to leap in between and separate them both. "Like hell I'm leaving you here alone!" he burst out. "Kuro, Sakuya, stop it! If I'm the one you're after, then thinking simply we can all talk like normal people and figure something out!"  
  
Kuro gave him a look that was half horror, half exasperation. Sakuya only stared at him with a blank, unreadable face, then without warning he started to laugh, his eyes monstrously wide, another tear streaking down his face and dripping down on the concrete. "You wish it was that easy, huh?" He gave a breathless chuckle. "But you're wrong, Mahiru. Our task was to wreak havoc until you tried to do something about it, lure you into a trap and take out both of you at once. And I'm not about to stray from that task for a liar."  
  
He wrestled himself from Kuro's grip, pushed him down and snatched Mahiru's collar, holding the knife to his throat. Mahiru swallowed. The sharp point was tickling his skin, cold and threatening, only waiting for its opportunity to strike and draw out blood. Sakuya's breath was hot against his neck, his body tense and alert, the grip on Mahiru's shirt tighter and more merciless than ever.  
  
Kuro scrambled to his feet with blank terror in his eyes. "Mahiru!"  
  
"The only way," Sakuya continued in a whisper, "to stop me from hurting you and your friend... is if you hurt me first."  
  
Mahiru froze. "I could never–"  
  
"Attack me, Mahiru." The cold steel of the blade pressed against Mahiru's pulsing throat. "Hurt me so badly I can never fight again. That's the only way to stop me."  
  
Mahiru stood frozen. He couldn't do this. Even if Sakuya tried to kill him, he couldn't do it. Even after everything he had found out, everything that had happened, he could never bring himself to hurt the boy who had been his best friend for as long as he could remember.  
  
But if he didn't... would he end up like Lily? Might he die? If Sakuya was serious...  
  
But Sakuya would never kill him! Sakuya was his friend–  
  
But hadn't he also thought Sakuya would never hold a switchblade to his throat?  
  
"Mahiru!" Kuro sped out towards them, trying to grab hold of Sakuya and pry him off. "Mahiru, get out of here!"  
  
Sakuya reacted in an instant. His hand let go of Mahiru's shirt. The switchblade disappeared from Mahiru's throat as he spun around to slice a clean cut into the side of Kuro's face.  
  
Kuro flinched with pain. For a second he looked startled, then he brought his hand up to the cut on his cheek and frowned grimly when it came back smeared with blood. A thin stripe of red appeared on his face, starting to trickle down his skin, dangerously close to his eye.  
  
Sakuya didn't give him time to breathe. He grabbed him and kicked him hard in the stomach, making him gasp and double over with a cough. Kuro tried to push him off, but Sakuya shoved him down, the knife in his hand a hair's breadth away from his eyes, pointed directly at his pupils, ready to strike.  
  
Mahiru darted out. "Kuro!"  
  
Without a second thought he jumped at Sakuya, grabbing his arm and trying to wrestle the knife from his hands. "Let – go!" he panted. "Sakuya, don't be stupid! If you're after me then leave Kuro alone!"  
  
Sakuya blinked at him for a second, then a harsh, gleeful grin spread over his face, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "That's right." He twisted his arm in Mahiru's hand, wriggling out of his grip and pointing the knife at Kuro's face. "Attack me, Mahiru. Hurt me. Kill me. Otherwise... I might just hurt your friend here."  
  
Mahiru jumped back. His hands were burning as if he had touched a fire. Horror-struck, he stared at his fingers, then at Sakuya, then at Kuro, who still lay captured in Sakuya's grip with blood trickling silently down his face. What had he done? Had he just... tried to fight his own best friend?  
  
Had he tried to hurt Sakuya?  
  
"No," he whispered. "No..."  
  
Sakuya's knife moved closer to Kuro's face, pressing into his pale skin. "Do it, Mahiru. I know you can."  
  
"No...!"  
  
Kuro squirmed under Sakuya's grip, trying to throw him off. "I can fight him, Mahiru," he said. "Want me to?"  
  
If he didn't, Kuro would get hurt.  
  
But if he did, things between him and Sakuya would never be the same again.  
  
"I..."  
  
He didn't want to fight Sakuya. But he didn't want Kuro to get hurt. He didn't want anyone to get hurt! He wanted to protect them both... but... but...  
  
He should get his phone, call for help... It would get them all in trouble, but–  
  
"I toooooold you not to run away without us, Sakuyaaaaaaaa!"  
  
Mahiru wheeled around. He knew the figures that emerged from the shadows. He knew them all too well.  
  
Berukia... and Otogiri.  
  
"Surprised?" Sakuya sneered, a bitter laugh ringing in his voice. "There's a reason why I said ' _our_  task,' you know." He turned to shoot his companions a cold glare. "You're late."  
  
"You left us behind," Otogiri answered coolly. "We had to go looking for you. This is a problem."  
  
"Weeeeeeeeeeeell, now we're heeeeere!" Berukia struck a pose and pulled a pair of spectacularly long knives out of his hat, still stained with dark spots Mahiru didn't want to think about too long. "Shall we start this shooooooooooow?"  
  
Otogiri grabbed his arm, pulled him down and whispered something into his ear.  
  
Berukia's grin changed into an annoyed grimace as he pulled himself free. "I know, I knoooow! Don't spoil the fun, Girioto!"  
  
Otogiri nodded. Turning back towards her targets, she reached into her dress and pulled out a set of thin, shining strings as the two of them started closing in.  
  
Kuro caught Sakuya's hand and twisted it. Sakuya gave a startled yelp and dropped the knife. Kuro grabbed him and rolled over, pushing him down on the ground and holding him pinned to the ground, gripping and crushing all four limbs to keep him unable to move.  
  
"Get the knife, Mahiru!" he shouted.  
  
Mahiru didn't hesitate. Taking a giant leap, he snatched the blade off the ground, snapped it shut and stuffed it into his pocket, his eyes darting about in search of something, anything to keep Sakuya down. If they could just incapacitate him, he and Kuro could take on the other two. What could he use? The only thing he saw was Otogiri's strings... if he could just get his hands on those, then–  
  
Something whipped through the air, shiny and metallic, and wrapped itself around his wrist, cutting into his skin. Mahiru glanced up. Otogiri was holding the other end, tightening the string, pulling him towards her by the wrist... he struggled and thrashed, trying to break free, but the string was razor-sharp, cutting deeper and deeper into his skin with every move. Otogiri was coming closer. From the other side Berukia was approaching, his knives drawn... he took aim... he threw...  
  
Before Mahiru could dodge, something moved in front of him. Not one shadow, but two.  
  
"Kuro... Sakuya?"  
  
Kuro dropped the knife, stepping down on it and cracking it in half. His hand was bleeding where he had caught it. His face was still dripping blood. Sakuya stood next to him, panting, before remembering where he was and wheeling back around.  
  
"Let's end this quickly."  
  
From three sides the members of Tsubaki's gang were approaching him. Mahiru's wrist was still tied to Otogiri. There was no escape.  
  
He had no choice but to fight Sakuya.  
  
But he didn't want to.  
  
He didn't want to hurt anybody.  
  
People had already been hurt.  
  
No matter what he did now, someone would be hurt even more.  
  
What should he do?  
  
"I'm gonna kill them."  
  
Mahiru spun around to stare at Kuro. His face had changed. His gaze was cold cold, his expression blank and icy, his eyes dark as night and burning with a silent, murderous fire. "I don't care anymore," he whispered. "I'll kill them. All of them."  
  
And before Mahiru could get a word out, he leapt at Sakuya, shoving him down and breaking his arm with a sickening crack. Without a moment's pause he grabbed the broken knife and threw himself at Berukia, dodging his and Otogiri's attacks, cutting the string that tied her to Mahiru's wrist, slashing wildly at their faces, making blood splatter on the ground–  
  
"Kuro,  _no–_ "  
  
Then several things happened at once.  
  
Something hit Mahiru over the back of his head. A gunshot rang out. Mahiru stumbled forward and saw Sakuya wheeling around, backing away to reveal two figures standing under the nearest streetlight, one of them holding a smoking gun pointed up into the air.  
  
"Mikuni...san? Jeje-san..."  
  
The world started swaying. Mahiru's legs gave way. The sound of the world grew removed and distant. From far away he could hear Otogiri's voice, saying something about retreating and being outnumbered.  
  
He fell down, caught at the last moment by Kuro's outstretched arms, and then the world went black.


	42. Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When it's your turn, I swear I'll come and save you for sure."

He was born the child of liars, in a city of liars.  
  
He grew up surrounded by liars, living a lie, not knowing that he was innocently feeding into all their lies. He thought his parents were good people. He thought he was happy.  
  
Until that night.  
  
The night he saw something no one in his family of liars, in the house full of liars had ever meant him to see. The night he saw through their lies and discovered the truth.  
  
The day he lied to preserve their lie.  
  
He thought all people were liars. He thought his parents, his sister, his neighbors, everyone in the city, everyone in the world did nothing but lie, and now he had finally become one of them.  
  
Until he looked up and found himself face to face with a boy with black hair and eyes that were just as red as his own, an understanding smile on his lips, and suddenly he stopped lying and started telling the truth.  
  
The boy disappeared after that day, without leaving a trace or any hint where he was or when he might come back. The only thing he left behind was a short string of words, a sentence that had kept Sakuya going for years and years while he waited, waited, waited for something to happen.  
  
A promise.  
  
"When it's your turn, I swear I'll come and save you for sure."  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru opened his eyes, blinking against a light that felt painfully bright, burning and stinging and making his head throb with a dull, distant ache. For a moment he didn't know where he was. His head hurt, and his eyes hurt, and his whole body felt heavy, even as the world around him still seemed to be moving and swaying and shaking gently. Houses were passing to either side of him. The light that had hurt his eyes was an ordinary streetlight, now lying behind him, surrounded by moths and mosquitoes.  
  
Where was he? Why was the world around him shaking, was he still–  
  
He blinked again. Little by little the haziness lifted from his mind. Light strands of hair tickled the side of his face, and he turned his head to find his nose in the crook of Kuro's neck. He was hanging piggyback over his friend's shoulders, his legs dangling down Kuro's sides, supported by strong hands that kept him steady even as he struggled to find his balance.  
  
"Ku...ro?" he muttered, lifting his head and wincing as another throb of pain shot through him. "What... happened?"  
  
"Ah, you're alive." Kuro stopped walking, but he didn't turn around. "Can't believe you got knocked out just when the cavalry arrived, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru rested his head against Kuro's shoulder. "Shut up." His memories were hazy, he couldn't remember what exactly had happened anymore. There had been a thud against the back of his head, he had turned around... and then? Someone... arrived... but...  
  
He gave a quiet groan. No use. His mind still felt like it was wrapped in cotton. He couldn't remember. He wasn't even sure why he had been hit over the head in the first place... Hadn't they been in a fight? But... why again? He remembered a desperate voice, someone calling his name...  
  
Sakuya's voice...  
  
His eyes snapped open. Sakuya's voice... Sakuya... was part of Tsubaki's gang. They had faced off. They had fought. And then Berukia and Otogiri arrived, and Kuro had stood his ground against all three–  
  
A flash of red shot through his mind, blood trickling down skin and dripping down on the ground from a sharp, clean gash. He straightened up. The cut... Kuro had been injured, hadn't he?  
  
And Mahiru... Mahiru had tried to hurt Sakuya, too. He had attacked him. He hadn't injured him... but still... but still...  
  
He and Sakuya had fought. Sakuya had attacked Kuro, and Mahiru had chosen Kuro's side. He hadn't done anything to protect Sakuya, his oldest and best friend, his family. He hadn't done anything to stop him from hurting himself and everyone else. He hadn't even stopped Kuro when he had finally snapped and gone berserk, leaping at the three members of Tsubaki's gang with the smoldering intent to kill.  
  
He hadn't done anything. He hadn't even known anything. All these years, and he had never had any clue about Sakuya. He still didn't. The person named  _Watanuki Sakuya_  had only been a shadow in his head, an abstract, shallow construct pieced together from the bits of him he had seen during their time together.  
  
Why hadn't he noticed before? Why had he never stopped to consider that the Sakuya he knew might only be a part of the real Sakuya, that he might not know him as well as he thought? Why hadn't he ever tried to find out more about him? Why had he just let things take their course until they had finally found themselves fighting for opposite sides?  
  
If he had known more earlier... would Sakuya not have joined Tsubaki's gang?  
  
Mahiru swallowed. He knew he should hate him. He knew he should be furious at him, furious for lying in his face for who knew how long, furious for being part of a group that hurt people, attacked them, beat them within inches of their lives. These people were criminals. Sakuya was a criminal. Sakuya had slashed more people with that switchblade of his, not just Kuro but countless others, possibly with much more grave results. He might even have killed someone. Sakuya might have done everything Mahiru stood against, and under normal circumstances he would hate him for that.  
  
But he couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. Not after seeing Sakuya's face, tear-stained and desperate. He hadn't truly wanted to fight against him either. He hadn't meant for all of this to happen, for the two of them to end up standing in front of each other as enemies, to hurt or be hurt. If he had the choice, Sakuya would have stayed friends with him forever. Mahiru could tell.  
  
How long had Sakuya been with Tsubaki and the others? Months? Years? Why had he joined them? Did it have anything to do with his family's supposed disappearance? Had Tsubaki somehow been involved in that? What had happened?  
  
Would Sakuya not have joined them if Mahiru had known what was going on from the beginning? If he had helped him in some way, with whatever it was–  
_  
Maybe I can still get him out._  The thought shot through him like electricity. Maybe he could still help Sakuya and free him from the hands of Tsubaki's gang. Maybe if he didn't need to rely on Tsubaki anymore, he wouldn't choose to continue doing all these things for him, hurting people, getting them hospitalized. He should just–  
  
_Will Sakuya even listen to you now?_  
  
He swallowed. Sakuya's words reverberated in his mind. Words of bitter fury and hatred and disappointment, of broken trust and grim, burning resentment. He had lied to Sakuya. Sakuya didn't trust him anymore. Things between them could never go back to the way they had been, he had said so himself. Even if he got to talk to Sakuya again without getting cut or stabbed, what were the odds that Sakuya would actually trust him and listen?  
  
_If I hadn't tried to reassemble the Servamps... we would still be friends._  
  
Mahiru tried to shake off the thought. Garbage. What should he have done after finding out, let them be? Let Tsubaki do whatever he was trying to do uncontrolled and unstopped? Of course not! The former Servamps were the only ones in this school who knew Tsubaki's strength and could stand up to him and his gang in a fight. He'd had no choice except to try and bring them together for the greater good!  
_  
But what if I'd never found out in the first place?_  
  
He tried to shake it off. That was stupid. If he hadn't found out he would have been a failure of a disciplinary committee president. Keeping students in line was his job. He would definitely have found out some way, sooner or later.  
  
_But if I'd never met Kuro..._  
  
He shook his head. No. He wouldn't think about that. It had happened, and this was all that mattered. And now at least he was a step closer to knowing the truth. He missed Sakuya, he didn't want their friendship to end, but there was no way he'd be willing to trade back the knowledge that his best friend was part of Tsubaki's gang. Not for anything in the world.  
  
And yet, no matter how much he tried to push the question off his head, it kept on lingering in the darkest corners of his mind, an ever-present threat that was invisible to the naked human eye.  
  
\---  
  
They didn't talk until they got home. Kuro carried Mahiru home in silence, and for once Mahiru didn't try to protest that he could walk just fine himself. Empty streets, sickly yellow lamps and sleeping houses slowly moved past them like a scenery on wheels. They didn't meet anyone. They didn't talk to anyone, and nobody talked to them. The few people who passed them kept their heads low and avoided eye contact.  
  
At long last they reached their house, and Kuro carried Mahiru all the way up the stairs before finally letting him down to his feet in front of the door, one arm draped tentatively around his back to steady him in case his legs gave way. Mahiru searched through his pockets until he found the keys, unlocked the door, let them both in, closed it again, and numbly kicked off his shoes to stand in the entrance of the apartment, staring into nowhere.  
  
"Mahiru... Mahiru?"  
  
He blinked, forcibly keeping himself from spacing out. Kuro was standing in front of him, waving something scratched and battered in front of his eyes... Oh right, the bento box. The one he had shoved into Sakuya's hands... why was it here again?  
  
"Lettuce-head– I mean Sakuya dropped it," Kuro said quietly, not looking at him. "I picked it up."  
  
"Mhm." For some reason that didn't even make him feel anything anymore. He should probably feel something, surprise, disappointment, but the only thing he felt was numb silence. "Didn't notice in the middle of all that mess."  
  
Kuro didn't answer for a moment. Then he gently rattled the box. "There's still food in there."  
  
"You can eat it." Mahiru shrugged, staring blankly into nowhere. "If it's still edible."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
Kuro looked hesitant, then he gave a quiet nod, turning and padding off towards the kitchen. Mahiru watched him leave, staring at his back until he disappeared around the corner and a chair scraped over the floor. Then he heaved himself off the wall and quietly made his way into his room, closing the door behind him and flopping down on the bed, staring into nowhere.  
  
He was tired. So, so tired. Of everything. He was tired of the day, tired of fighting, tired of talking to people, tired of feeling. Every single one of his emotions had been drained to the source, leaving nothing behind except for the heavy numbness spilling over his mind like black ink, drowning out all his thoughts and feelings until all he saw was black. He wanted to sleep, but his eyes wouldn't close. He wanted to cry, but no tears came out. All he could do was lie there, feelings and thoughts and memories chasing each other in his head until they all drowned in the black ink.  
  
He didn't know how long he had been lying there when the door opened and Kuro peeked in. "Hey, Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru stared at nothing for a moment, then he finally registered that he was being addressed and slowly turned his head. "Hm?"  
  
"I finished the food." Kuro waved the scratched-up but squeaky clean bento box in his hand. "I washed the box too, where do I put it?"  
  
Mahiru rolled over. "Kitchen cupboard," he muttered. "With the other boxes."  
  
"Okay." Kuro closed the door, and silence fell once more.  
  
Time ticked by, maybe seconds, maybe minutes, it might as well be an hour, Mahiru couldn't tell. All sense of time had disappeared from his head. All he knew was that after what felt like a frozen, unmoving eternity, footsteps padded up to his room again, and the door opened once more.  
  
"Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru glanced at Kuro from the side. "What?"  
  
"Uh..." Kuro looked awkward, shifting his weight to lean fake-casually against the doorframe, his eyes running away from Mahiru's gaze. "If you're gonna stay in tonight, wanna play some video games?"  
  
Mahiru made a noncommittal noise. He had no idea what he wanted. Truth be told, he didn't want to do anything right now except sort the mess in his head and clear his mind from the flood of black ink.  
  
Kuro pulled out a controller and waved it. "Today I'm even in the mood for some games where you gotta move around."  
  
Mahiru just sighed and rolled over, closing his eyes. He wasn't sure he even had the energy to get up right now. A distraction might do him good, but he didn't want to be distracted. He had spent too much time being distracted. If he had paid more attention to Sakuya, none of this would ever have happened. Ignoring him again now would just be another insult to his former best friend.  
  
Kuro waited in silence for a moment, then he made a small noise and padded two steps into the room, awkward and hesitant. His voice had lost its casual edge. When he spoke again his tone was dark with worry, soft and shaky and full of genuine concern. "How's your head?" he asked. "If you gotta go to the hospital–"  
  
Mahiru sighed again and buried his face in the pillow. "I'm fine."  
  
Another silence fell, so deep that if it wasn't for the lack of footsteps walking away, Mahiru might have wondered if Kuro was even still there at all. More images flitted through his head. Kuro, trying to fight off Sakuya... former gang member against new gang member... the cut on his face...  
  
Something stirred inside him, a glint of emotion, for the first time since they had arrived home. Lifting his head from the pillow, he opened his eyes, glancing at Kuro's quiet form in the dark. "What about your injuries, Kuro?"  
  
"Ah, those." Kuro brushed his fingers over his cheek, only a thin reddish line remaining from the dripping, bleeding gash. "No big deal. I've had worse."  
  
Mahiru closed his eyes, a heavy weight descending on his shoulders once more. "Right," he mumbled into the pillow. "You used to fight a lot, after all."  
  
Kuro made a small noise of resigned agreement, then he fell silent again. Mahiru couldn't see his face, but this time the silence felt oddly tense, laden with anticipation, anticipation and fear of what Kuro was going to say next. Some part of him knew what was coming, or at least it had a very good notion, even if the rest of him silenced the thought. Kuro wouldn't say anything he really didn't want to think about at the moment.  
  
"Mahiru... do you regret taking me in?"  
  
Mahiru looked up. For a moment his eyes met with Kuro's, those wide circles of red that seemed to glow in the distant light of the city outside, tense and worried and laden with guilt and regret, so much regret that Mahiru felt it tug at his own heartstrings. He hated that look on his face. He didn't want to see it ever again. But... right now he had no idea how to make it go away without lying.  
  
With a heavy sigh he let his head fall back down on the pillow, avoiding Kuro's gaze, avoiding the look on his face that made him want to get up and put a hand over his eyes and tell him everything would was okay, even when nothing was okay in the slightest and he didn't know how to feel. Of course he didn't regret it. He didn't want to regret anything. He had taken Kuro under his wing, he had befriended him and started to reassemble the Servamps because he had felt like it needed to be done, and he hadn't wanted to regret not doing anything. He refused to regret doing something now, even just out of principle.  
  
Except... it was hard. It was hard not to regret anything when Sakuya had accused him of lying just a few hours earlier, and every word he spoke had been the painful truth. It was hard not to regret anything when it had led to him and Sakuya fighting on the street, hurting each other, causing each other so much pain. It was hard not to regret anything when that decision had been the one that had made him lose his best friend.  
  
What did he regret? What should he have done? What could he have done differently? What could he still fix? What had been beyond his influence from the beginning?  
  
He didn't know. He didn't get it. It didn't make sense, not even in his own head.  
  
So he just groaned, wrapped his arms around the pillow, and shoved his face into it until he could barely breathe. "Shut up."  
  
Kuro stayed silent for another moment, then he turned, walked away, and quietly closed the door behind him with a click.  
  
\---  
  
The apartment was silent as Kuro padded slowly across the apartment, heading towards his room. It was pitch-dark, but he didn't bother switching on the light as he slipped in through the door, closed it behind him, and curled up on the bed that should never have been his.  
  
Of course Mahiru regretted it. Anybody would. Any sane person would regret taking in someone like him if it meant losing their best friend in return, someone who had been with them much longer, who knew them a million times better than he could ever hope to. He had no doubts that Sakuya had been a much better friend to Mahiru than he was. He must have deserved him a million times more. After all, they had known each other for as long as they could remember, and Kuro was just some kid at school who was afraid to go to class alone.  
  
So maybe Sakuya wasn't an angel either. Maybe he was a gang member too, fighting for Tsubaki, hurting innocents for a goal Kuro couldn't comprehend yet. But who knew how long he had been a member of Tsubaki's gang? Who knew why he had joined? It might have been only a few months, or a handful of weeks...  
  
What if it was Kuro's fault that he had joined Tsubaki's group?  
  
No, he tried to tell himself, that couldn't be... Sakuya had seemed shady to him from the beginning, and his instinct had been right. He must already have been hiding something back then... right?  
  
He didn't know. He couldn't tell. He couldn't prove that Sakuya hadn't joined Tsubaki's gang solely because of Mahiru's alliance with him, or their friendship, or whatever he was supposed to call it. But even if he hadn't, even if Sakuya had done this earlier or for different reasons, it was still Kuro who had created the rift between the childhood friends. If he hadn't appeared, this fight would never have happened. If he hadn't turned up Mahiru and Sakuya would still be best friends, goofing off at the beach and eating ice cream together and enjoying their summer. If it wasn't for him, they would still be happy.  
  
In the end it was always like this, after all. In the end, no matter who he was with, no matter how much he tried, all he ever did was hurt them and cause them trouble.  
_  
That's all you're good for in the end. Making people unhappy._  
  
He buried his face in his knees, trying to block out the thought. No, that wasn't true. Mahiru must have enjoyed his company. He must have made him happy at some point, even if he didn't understand how.  
  
_But not anymore._  
  
He swallowed hard. A lump lay heavy in his throat, but he didn't cry. He had lost the ability many years ago.  
_  
Look at you. All you ever do is hurt the people you're with. That's all you can do, you monster._  
  
Kuro wrapped his arms around his knees, trying and failing to push off the voice in his head, cold and nagging, grating away at his heart, tearing long gashes into its surface with sharp, knife-like, icy nails. "Shut up..."  
  
But he couldn't shut it down. It kept whispering on in his mind, louder and clearer and more distinct than ever.  
  
_Looks like the world would be better off without you, after all._  
  
And maybe, Kuro thought, maybe it was right.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru woke up still feeling dazed and anything but rested, but at least the black ink had more or less disappeared from his mind. He couldn't remember what he had dreamed of, but he was sure it was Sakuya. All he knew was that his dreams had been uneasy, leaving him tossing and turning and muttering in his sleep.  
  
He still didn't know what to do. He had no idea how to deal with Sakuya. He hadn't known a thing about him, and he still didn't. The more the thought about him the less he realized he knew, until part of him wasn't sure if their friendship had even been real or just a decade-long illusion born from a year of knowing each other in reality.  
  
He wanted to talk to someone, but he couldn't think of anybody. Who could possibly help him in this? Not Kuro, that was for sure. Kuro was already feeling bad enough about the whole thing himself, he couldn't burden him with his own worries on top of it. Ryuusei and Koyuki? No, they had no idea about the whole gang thing in the first place. He would have to explain his whole story from the beginning, and the knowledge would put them into danger too. No matter how badly he wanted to talk about things, the risk wasn't worth it.  
  
Maybe someone else from the gang then. But who? Misono had been suspicious of Sakuya from the get-go. Tetsu and Hugh probably wouldn't say anything Mahiru wanted to hear. Licht and Hyde were touring the world again, probably sitting on a plane where Mahiru couldn't reach them. Lily might be able to help... but no, Lily had already gone through enough for the summer. Mahiru would rather sort it out himself than burden him with any more than the inevitable.  
  
With a sigh he got up, showered, dressed, felt the lump on the back of his head, and made his way into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. It was already way past the time he usually woke up, and the sun had risen far over the horizon to hang in a cloudless blue summer sky, so cloudless and bright and cheery that it was hard to believe that the battle last night hadn't been an awful dream.  
  
The kitchen was clean as he stepped inside. Not the unused kind of clean, and not the sparkling kind of clean Mahiru always strived towards either; it looked more like it had been clumsily cleaned by someone who had never cleaned a kitchen before but was determined to make the effort anyway. A tiny hint of a smile crossed over Mahiru's lips, for the first time since their run-in with Sakuya yesterday. Kuro had really been trying hard yesterday, hadn't he?  
  
With a fond little sigh he poked his head into the fridge, took out a frying pan, and fried eggs and bacon while making tea in a pot. It was a strangely normal procedure, but somehow it felt soothing to stand here again, practicing these well-rehearsed movements and soaking in the familiarity just for a handful of moments.  
  
Then breakfast was done, and Mahiru set the table and walked over to Kuro's room to knock on the door. "Kuro, breakfast's ready!"  
  
He waited, but there was no answer, not even a groan or the unwilling rustling of bedsheets.  
  
Another knock. "Kuro?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Mahiru waited for another moment, then he slowly pushed open the door. "Kuro, I'm coming in!"  
  
It was bright outside, but the room in front of him was dark. All the curtains were drawn, barely a sliver of light making its way past their edges to dissolve quickly in the pitch-blackness around it. And sitting on the bed, curled up with his head between his knees, still wearing his clothes from last night, was Kuro's frail, helpless figure.  
  
Mahiru could have yelled at him for not getting changed. He could have scolded him for not answering or drawing all the curtains on such a sunny day, but all he felt as he saw Kuro's curled-up, distressed form was worry, heart-wrenching, mind-numbing worry. "Kuro!" he burst out, stumbling into the room. "Hey, are you okay?"  
  
Kuro didn't say anything. He didn't even straighten up. All he did was shake his head where it lay half-buried between his knees.  
  
A cold stab shot through Mahiru's chest. Kuro had never straight-up admitted he wasn't okay, not without brushing it off and pretending to be fine for as long as he could. This wasn't like him. Something had to be really, really,  _really_  wrong.  
  
"Hey," he said softly, inching a little closer to Kuro but hesitating to touch him. "What's wrong? Is it your injuries?"  
  
Another shake of the head.  
  
"Then..." Mahiru swallowed. "Is this... about Sakuya?"  
  
"...'msosorry..."  
  
Mahiru leaned closer. "What did you...?"  
  
"Mahiru..." Kuro lifted his head, staring up at him with dark eyes filled to the brim with shame and self-hatred and regret. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Mahiru froze. His eyes locked with Kuro's as all his feelings, all his fear and guilt and remorse came flooding into him in a tidal wave, washing over his head, nearly sweeping his feet off the ground. His heart gave a violent lurch, threatening to leap out of his chest and run across the room to Kuro, threatening to take his body with it until there was no longer an inch between him and his friend. "Kuro, don't–"  
  
"Don't say anything. I know." Kuro took a shaky breath, pulling up his shoulders and burying his face between his knees once more, curling up so tightly that he looked like a lost child. "If you hadn't met me and started to put the gang back together, none of this would've happened. You'd still be friends... you fell out because of me."  
  
Mahiru shook his head, furiously, violently. "Don't be stupid!"  
  
Kuro flinched, tightening the hold of his arms around his knees, gripping the fabric of his sleeves until his knuckles turned white. "I know," he muttered. "You regret it. Anyone would."  
  
" _Like hell I do!_ "  
  
Tears burned at the corners of Mahiru's eyes, tears of frustration and rightful anger. "Kuro, you idiot!" he burst out, clenching his fists until they hurt, his whole body shaking. "For crying out loud, stop thinking of yourself like that! I could never–"  
  
" _Mahiru!_ "  
  
He stopped in his tracks. Kuro's voice cut through his words, his train of thoughts like the crack of a whip. It was a shrill, frantic plea, full of fright and desperation and blind, mind-numbing panic.  
  
"Don't yell at me," he whispered. "Don't get mad... I don't wanna cause you any more trouble..."  
  
Mahiru swallowed back the tears stinging in his eyes, blurring his vision, threatening to spill over. "Don't be an idiot," he said. "You're not causing anyone trouble... you... you..."  
  
"You're the one being stupid." Kuro's voice was suddenly calm, frightfully calm. "Causing people trouble's all I ever do."  
  
"You're not causing trouble! Sakuya chose to team up with Tsubaki himself, I would've found out sooner or later anyway! The problem's with him and not–" Mahiru trailed off. His words were going nowhere. Kuro wasn't responding at all, still sitting there still as a statue, everything Mahiru said bouncing right off him, refusing to get in. Nothing Mahiru said was making the tiniest difference.  
  
How could he be so stubborn? How could he be so blockheaded? And why now of all times? As if Mahiru didn't already have enough to deal with after everything that had happened yesterday!  
  
He gave a furious huff, picking up the pillow and hitting it over Kuro's head. "Damn it, Kuro! Don't make this complicated!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Kuro raised his head, uncurling himself and scrambling off the bed, his movements stiff and uneasy as if he really had spend the whole night sitting in this position. His face was blank, frighteningly blank, but Mahiru didn't miss the bright glint of pain shining sharply in his eyes.  
  
"Kuro?" he said softly, stepping out of his way.  
  
Kuro didn't answer. He simply walked out of the room and across the apartment, heading straight for the door and only pausing momentarily to put on his shoes.  
  
"Kuro!" Mahiru called after him. "Hey, Kuro, where are you going?"  
  
"Just gonna get some fresh air."  
  
The door fell shut behind him, and Mahiru was left alone as his footsteps echoed away into the distance.  
  
He could run after him, of course. But not now. Not when nothing he could possibly say could make a difference anyway. What else was he supposed to tell him? He had already made his feelings clear enough! What on earth was he supposed to do if Kuro adamantly refused to believe him?  
  
"Fine!" he shouted after the closed door, hoping Kuro could still hear him. "Maybe you're gonna act less stupid when you're back, you stubborn idiot!"  
  
There was no response and no answer, and Mahiru didn't care. He was still fuming with frustration. If he went after Kuro right now he would only get angry at him again and make things even worse between them... no, it was definitely better to wait. Kuro would just take some time to calm down and stop acting like an idiot again, and then he'd come back. Couldn't take too long, right?  
  
It was just a shame about the breakfast...  
  
Just as he had sat down behind the table and reached for his now cold eggs and bacon, there was the sound of keys turning in the door, and he paused to look up.  
  
Was Kuro back again already? Had he forgotten something?  
  
"Good morning, Mahiru!" a voice called through the apartment, and it definitely wasn't Kuro's. "Or should I say good noon? No, it's not noon yet– ah, I know!" Footsteps padded over the floor, and a second later Uncle Tooru poked his head in through the door. "Good nooning!"  
  
A wave of relief swept over Mahiru. Out of all the times he could have chosen to come back, his uncle had perfectly picked the one where he needed him the most.  
  
"That's not a word, Uncle," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Welcome back."  
  
"Thank you, dear nephew! I didn't expect to be back so early, but I got finished with work earlier than I thought, so now I can spend a ne- _few_  peaceful days at home with neph- _you_." Uncle Tooru pointed finger guns at him, and Mahiru groaned. "That aside, how nice of you to make breakfast! I'm starving... Is this breakfast?"  
  
"Ah... yeah." Mahiru looked down at the empty plate that should have been Kuro's, a shadow passing over his soul once more. "I kind of overslept today, so..."  
  
Uncle Tooru grinned. "Excellent! Don't you worry about oversleeping, that's a normal part of being on break." He sat down at the table, helping himself to eggs and bacon. "By the way," he added, glancing around with curiosity in his eyes, "where's Kuro?"  
  
Another shadow passed over Mahiru, darker this time. "He went out," he said quietly.  
  
Uncle Tooru looked at him for a very long moment, his brown eyes examining every inch of Mahiru's face. When he finally spoke again his voice was calmer, less cheery as worry and concern colored it a rare shade of serious. "Did something happen between you two?"  
  
Mahiru stared at his plate, unsure how much he should tell him. Should he go the easy way and just say they had a fight? If it could even be called a fight in the first place... But what should he say if Uncle Tooru asked him what they had fought about? He wasn't sure Kuro would appreciate Mahiru talking freely about his self-esteem issues in front of others. And how should he explain Sakuya? Should he really tell him that he'd been trying to rebuild a gang to stand against the group his best friend had turned out to be in?  
  
"I..."  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Mahiru stopped short, blinking up at his uncle in open surprise. "What?"  
  
"It looks like you don't want to talk about it," Uncle Tooru said patiently. "That's all right. I won't pressure you to talk to me about anything you don't want to." He smiled. "There are some things kids can't talk to adults about after all, right?"  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling both guilty and grateful. Guilty, because he hated hiding things from Uncle Tooru, the very man who had made him who he was, who had taken him in and raised him when no one else would and who he owed his life. Grateful, because it meant he wouldn't have to lie or make him worry or get him in danger with knowledge he wasn't meant to have. But most of all he felt relieved. Extremely, absurdly, overwhelmingly relieved.  
  
"I... yeah." He tried to smile and probably failed. "Thanks, Uncle."  
  
Uncle Tooru gave a grin, patted his head, and started eating the cold breakfast. It couldn't taste very good anymore, but he was either hungry or nice enough to gulp it down greedily and smile all the while anyway, and Mahiru felt another wave of gratitude sweep over him. This was why he admired his uncle so much. This was why, someday, he wanted to be an adult just like him.  
  
He cleared his own plate without much appetite and got up to do the dishes, but Uncle Tooru stopped him. "You stay seated," he said. "Dishes my job today."  
  
Mahiru gave him a blank stare.  
  
"Get it?" He pointed finger guns at him again. "Dishes? Dish-is? This i–"  
  
"I get it, Uncle. Are you planning to do the dishes or not?"  
  
"Okay, okay." Uncle Tooru laughed, picking up the dishes and washing them in the sink, whistling as he worked. Mahiru simply sat at the table and watched him. He felt odd, having someone else do the task, and having nothing to do had suddenly freed his mind to think about all the things he was trying very hard not to think about.  
  
Before he knew it he had spaced out, only to be stirred from his daze by Uncle Tooru waving the dishrag in his face. "Anybody home?"  
  
Mahiru gave a start, erasing all dark thoughts from his mind as his focus zoomed back in on his uncle once more. "Y-Yeah," he said awkwardly. "Already done with the dishes?"  
  
"What do you mean, already? I took my sweet time there! You could say I took time uncon _dish_ ionally." Mahiru groaned, and Uncle Tooru laughed and nudged his shoulder before turning serious a second later. "You seem spaced out, is everything all right?"  
  
Mahiru shrugged absently. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"You don't look it." Uncle Tooru thought for a moment, then his face lit up with an idea. "Want to go for a walk? You look like you might need a distraction."  
  
Part of Mahiru wanted to say no. Kuro was still nowhere to be found, and Mahiru wasn't sure he had taken a key with him. Maybe it was better to wait here until he came back, in case he hadn't... What if they left and Kuro was locked out? But then again his uncle was right, he really did need a distraction. They didn't have to be long. And if Kuro came back, he could always call.  
  
So he sighed, nodded, got up, and followed Uncle Tooru through the apartment to put on his shoes. A quick glance at the key hanger showed him that Kuro really had taken the spare keys, and he got up and walked out through the door without lingering guilt.  
  
For some time they did nothing but walk through the streets, stopping here and there to look through a shop window or watch a dog or a flock of birds, barely ever talking. Mahiru was still lost in his own thoughts. What Uncle Tooru was thinking he didn't know, and his uncle didn't ask him why he was so spaced out either. The only noise they made was the incessant sound of their footsteps.  
  
Mahiru didn't know where they were how long they had been walking when his stomach gave an impatient growl, and Uncle Tooru looked at him with an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Oh, you're hungry too?"  
  
"Looks like it," Mahiru said, looking down at his stomach and wondering how much time must have passed since they had left the house. As he looked around he recognized the area; they weren't far from home somehow, close to the area where Ryuusei and Koyuki had their part-time jobs. He just hoped he wouldn't run into them right now. "Want to eat somewhere?"  
  
"Brilliant idea! I'm starving again." Uncle Tooru steered them along the street, searching both sides for food until finally focusing in on a place. "Will cheap sushi be okay?"  
  
"Sure," Mahiru answered, secretly relieved that he hadn't offered to get food from Ryuusei's or Koyuki's places.  
  
They walked into the shop, one of those small sushi-go-round places with countless plates circling on a conveyor belt. Thankfully it wasn't too crowded, and Uncle Tooru quickly directed Mahiru to a pair of free seats not too far from the door.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked, gesturing to the plates circling by.  
  
Mahiru shrugged. "Anything's fine."  
  
Uncle Tooru nodded and reached for the next plate that passed by. Mahiru let his gaze roam around, looked to the side–  
  
–and found himself looking at a familiar face.  
  
" _Tsubaki?_ "  
  
Red eyes blinked at him in surprise, as baffled and wide as his own. A mouth gaped slightly open in the same way his own did, the head in front of him turned to look up at his own puzzled expression.  
  
"Mahiru," Tsubaki replied in mild confusion, as if they were old acquaintances who had bumped into each other at a place that was anything but unlikely. "So you like to eat here too?"  
  
"I... What? No!" Mahiru jumped from his chair. "I'm here for the first– Wait! More importantly, why are  _you_  here?"  
  
Running into Tsubaki the day after finding out about Sakuya... Could this really be a coincidence?  
  
Tsubaki gave a cryptic smile and took a big bite from the inari sushi in front of him. Uncle Tooru peeked over Mahiru's shoulder. "Friend of yours?"  
  
Mahiru grimaced. "Not really."  
  
"Well, anyway," Uncle Tooru continued, pushing a plate of sushi his way. "I've got a  _lunch_  that you might like this, nephew." There was a beat of silence. Uncle Tooru waited for a reaction, then he gave a corny grin. "Get it?"  
  
A burst of laughter erupted to Mahiru's right.  
  
"I've got a  _lunch!_ " Tsubaki repeated, laughing so hard he almost fell off his chair. "A hunch... a  _lunch!_  Ah ha ha ha–"  
  
Mahiru groaned and shrank back into his seat while Uncle Tooru grinned from ear to ear. "Finally someone who appreciates the fine art of puns!" he said cheerily. "You've got yourself a fine friend there, Mahiru!"  
  
Still beaming, he dug into his own sushi just as Tsubaki gave a great sigh and said, "Boring."  
  
Mahiru sat between them and fought the urge to pinch himself to make sure this wasn't a dream. The whole situation felt surreal. If someone had told him this morning that he'd wind up peacefully eating sushi between his uncle and Tsubaki of all people for lunch, he would have sent them to a doctor.  
  
And yet... this wasn't unwelcome. There was so much he still needed to ask Tsubaki, so much he still wanted to find out. This was a unique opportunity. Tsubaki would know what had happened between him and Sakuya... Tsubaki would know why Sakuya had joined his gang in the first place. Maybe he wouldn't want to explain. But Mahiru still had to ask, had to try and find out, no matter how little he might get out of it. He'd just have to ask Tsubaki to talk to him alone when they were finished–  
  
The sound of a ringing phone snapped him out of his thoughts, and Uncle Tooru pushed his half-eaten plate aside to search his pockets for his phone, check the screen, and disappear out the door with a whispered apology. Mahiru gazed after him until the realization hit him. It had just been the three of them. Now Uncle Tooru was gone.  
  
He was alone with Tsubaki.  
  
Tsubaki seemed to have had the same thought, because he swallowed the last bite from his plate and looked up, red eyes boring sharply into Mahiru's gaze. "Well," he said, "how did things go between you and Sakuya?"  
  
Mahiru flinched. So he did know already. Tsubaki knew... no, Tsubaki had been the one who had sent Sakuya after him in the first place.  
  
Furious, boiling anger bubbled up in his veins, vicious and explosive. "What did you do to him?"  
  
Tsubaki blinked in very realistic confusion. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Sakuya!" Mahiru jumped to his feet and grabbed Tsubaki's collar. "What did you do to him? How did you trick him into your gang? Give him back!"  
  
Tsubaki still looked unfazed as he raised his hands, not struggling against Mahiru's grip, not backing down an inch. "I never tricked him into anything," he said bluntly.  
  
"Don't lie!" Mahiru burst out, shaking Tsubaki in his hands. "Give Sakuya back!"  
  
"Shirota Mahiru, you poor, unfortunate human being."  
  
Mahiru paused, loosening his grip. Tsubaki's expression and tone had changed. The look of mock surprise on his face was gone, replaced by a tired look of mild sympathy, half amused, half sad. "Have you learned nothing?" he asked softly. "Poor, poor Sakuya... nobody understands him. Not even the one who calls himself his best friend."  
  
Mahiru let go and stepped back. He wanted to defend himself, but he couldn't. Not when Tsubaki's words rang so terrifyingly, painfully true.  
  
"Poor Sakuya," Tsubaki said again, eyes closed, rocking his head from side to side with a melancholy sigh. "Nobody knows about his pain, nobody ever asked him... but perhaps," he opened his eyes to shoot another look at Mahiru's face, "you'd like to hear his story, Shirota Mahiru, who calls himself his friend?"  
  
Mahiru went stiff. With a tense, anxious nod, he sat back down on his chair, his eyes transfixed on Tsubaki, swallowing hard. "Tell me."  
  
\---  
  
He was born the child of liars, in a city of liars.  
  
Watanuki Sakuya had been a content child. He had grown up in a small apartment in the middle of the city, surrounded by his parents and his older sister, a sister who loved him and spent every free minute together with him, playing together or telling him stories. His family wasn't rich, granted. His mother would sometimes get oddly distant, and his father was rarely at home because of work, and sometimes he would come home so stressed and tired that he lashed out at everyone. Sometimes his sister suddenly showed scars or bruises with no explanation of how they had got there. Sometimes there was so little money left that his parents told the siblings they couldn't eat until the beginning of the next month, because there was only enough to feed two and those two had to be the ones making money and paying the rent. But that had been okay. Sakuya could eat a lot at Mahiru's or Ryuusei's or Koyuki's places, and his sister had a secret stash of snacks hidden in her room. His parents were good people, they meant well. Of that he was sure.  
  
Until the day his sister suddenly turned grim when they were playing outside, pushing him into a hideout and whispering in his ear.  
  
"Today, when Dad comes back," she whispered, "stay in your room and don't get out. No matter what happens, don't go outside, okay?"  
  
Sakuya looked up at her, looked at her oddly serious green eyes and nodded, startled and confused. "What about you?"  
  
"Don't you worry about me." She gave him a grin that didn't look entirely real. "I'll be fine."  
  
So Sakuya believed her and hid in his room, but when he heard his father come home he couldn't resist the urge to listen closely at the door.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it," he heard his sister say, and her voice was strangely grave, almost bitter. "But you have to promise to leave Sakuya alone, okay? Promise!"  
  
His father clicked his tongue and sighed. "Yeah, yeah."  
  
"We promise," his mother added in that coolly distant voice.  
  
"Very well then." His sister's voice turned to steel. "I hope someday you'll bleed for your lies. Goodbye."  
  
_Goodbye?_  
  
Before he knew it, Sakuya had flung open the door of his room, sprinting across the apartment just in time to glimpse her silhouette leaping off the balcony railing.  
  
Falling.  
  
A silent scream escaped from his lips. His body was paralyzed. He heard and felt nothing. All he saw was her slender form, jumping off the railing and disappearing into nowhere, her long ponytail drifting behind her, falling, falling, falling.  
  
A hand that covered his mouth. An arm that held him in a tight grip, holding him in place with the strength of an iron lock.  
  
A voice that whispered in his ear.  
  
"Your sister died to protect you. One word to anyone, and you'll suffer the same fate."  
  
The police came, and he told them a lie. His family got a great sum from his sister's life insurance. There was enough to eat for everyone now. But Sakuya had lost his appetite.  
  
He didn't speak to anyone. He didn't look at anyone. He avoided the balcony, avoided looking at it, pretending it wasn't there and it hadn't taken his older sister's life, the older sister who had lied to him in the last words she ever said to him. He avoided everything and everyone, silently spending his days on the abandoned swing behind the house.  
  
"You don't look happy."  
  
The words somehow reached Sakuya through his daze. Blinking, he shook off his thoughts and looked up to find the origin of the voice sitting on the swing next to him.  
  
It was a boy about his age, maybe a little older, with silky black hair and red eyes and an oddly intelligent look to him, mysterious somehow, eyeing him with concern. "What's wrong?"  
  
And Sakuya didn't know why. Maybe it was because this was a stranger, maybe because he was a child like him, maybe because he looked so clever and intriguing, he found himself telling him the whole story. The truth. For the first time.  
  
"It's my fault," he finished, wiping his eyes as the tears inside them threatened to overflow. "It's all my fault my sister died!"  
  
"You did nothing wrong."  
  
Sakuya looked up. The boy across from him was smiling, but he had tears in his eyes, tears of sympathy and gentle compassion. "Stop blaming yourself," he said kindly. "It's not your fault. Your parents only told you that to make you feel bad."  
  
Sakuya sniffled and said nothing. The stranger's words were comforting, comforting beyond measure, like a waterfall of liquid kindness pouring all over him and encompassing him whole. So comforting that he didn't have the strength to do anything but nod.  
  
"Don't worry," the boy said. "They won't get you too. I promise you that."  
  
Sakuya sniffled again. "You do?"  
  
"Yes." The boy smiled, holding out his pinky finger for Sakuya to hook. "When it's your turn, I swear I'll come and save you for sure."  
  
Sakuya didn't see the boy again after that, not for a long time. He was constantly on the lookout, always searching for the head of silky black hair and the piercing red eyes, but the mysterious stranger was nowhere to be found, as if he had never been there at all. Sakuya hadn't even found out his name. Sometimes he wondered if they would ever see each other again. Most of the time he wondered how on earth the mysterious boy was planning to save him if he didn't even have his name. And what was a child like him even supposed to do? It wasn't like he could do something against a pair of full-grown adults, right?  
  
And yet, for years upon years, the mysterious boy's words had given him hope. Hope to go on. Hope to keep living.  
  
Until, one day, he found his wrist grabbed on his way home after school, a hand pulling him off the street and into the thickets of the park next to it. And standing in front of him, much older yet unmistakable, was the boy from that day.  
  
"Don't go home today," he said. "Actually, you won't need to go home at all. Ever."  
  
Sakuya gaped at him, but not once did he question a single word.  
  
He didn't know how the boy had found him again, how he had managed to keep an eye on him for so long or how he had found out about his parents' plans to make him suffer his sister's fate. He didn't know why he read about their disappearance the next day or what had happened to them, and truthfully he didn't care. All that mattered was the strange boy leading him off the path, down unfamiliar roads until finally they came to the top floor of a tall, impressive building and stood in front of a door.  
  
"Let me introduce myself," the boy said, stopping and turning in front of the door. "My name is Tsubaki. And you are?"  
  
"Watanuki Sakuya," Sakuya replied, even though he couldn't help feeling like Tsubaki already knew.  
  
"Nice to meet you! Come in, Sakuya." Tsubaki smiled cheerily, opening the door and gesturing him inside. Standing around him, all looking at him with curiosity, were a number of people, most of them his age, one of them a middle-aged man.  
  
"This is Beru, my best friend," Tsubaki said, gesturing to the first one. "These two are Shamrock, Lilac and Otogiri, and this is Higan-sensei. Together, we are Melancholy." He smiled. "From today on, we are your new family."  
  
\---  
  
"Kuro!" Mahiru called into the apartment, barely taking the time to close the door after him. "Kuro, I think I know now–"  
  
He stopped in his tracks. The apartment was silent and untouched, like no one had been there since he had left. The spare keys were still missing. So were Kuro's shoes.  
  
Mahiru hesitated, kicking off his shoes and sneaking around the apartment, searching, even though he already knew he would find nothing.  
  
"...Kuro?"


	43. The Loyal Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But if he wanted to solve this, he had no choice but to try.

Kuro slowed down in his steps, his eyes taking in the unfamiliar street around him.  
  
He had no idea where he was, he realized. He wasn't even sure how long he had been walking; it might have been minutes, or it might have been hours. The sun had risen over the city, burning with all the vicious heat of an August day, blaring down on his head with no clouds to cast shade and give him relief. It was hot, he was tired, and he was completely lost.  
  
What should he do?  
  
He didn't know. But he didn't want to go back. Going back would mean having to face Mahiru, and that was the one thing he couldn't do. Not as long as everything was like this. Not as long as Mahiru had lost his best friend that he had known for all his life, and not as long as this whole mess was all Kuro's fault.  
  
_Damn it, Kuro! Don't make this complicated!_  
  
He clenched his fists. He was trying. He was really trying. But to what results? He wasn't helping anyone. He was only making everything worse, more troublesome, more complicated. He couldn't do the opposite if he tried. Failure would find him, whether he wanted it to or not.  
  
If only there was some way to make Mahiru stop regretting everything. If only there was a way to help him for once instead of only making things worse, or complicated as Mahiru had called it. If only there was something he could do that would make him able to face Mahiru again.  
  
But what was he supposed to do? It wasn't like there was a way for him to suddenly find Sakuya and–  
  
He stopped in his tracks.  
  
No, he was wrong. There was a way. It was ridiculous, it was absurd, it wasn't guaranteed to work and it might get him in serious danger if it went wrong, but it was infinitely better than staying here and doing nothing. And it was definitely worth a try.  
  
Pulling out his phone, he unlocked the screen and opened the one contact he had never thought he would use again in his life.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru stared at Tsubaki, processing everything he had heard. Everything he had learned... everything that exceeded his wildest imagination, his most terrifying nightmares.  
  
Everything that had been right under his nose for so many years.  
  
How had he missed it? How had he spent all his life next to Sakuya without the slightest suspicion that something might be wrong? He had always taken pride in helping everyone who needed help, and yet... yet Sakuya had been needing his help for so long, and he had never noticed at all.  
  
Tsubaki was right. What kind of friend was he? How could he ever have thought that he knew Sakuya well? So many years... so many years, and all this time he had known nothing!  
  
_I'm so sorry, Sakuya. If I'd known earlier..._  
  
He didn't know what he would have done. But he would have done something. Something, anything that could have helped him, protected him from his parents, saved him, maybe. Helped him get away from them. Anything. Maybe if he had known earlier, Tsubaki would never have had to step in and rescue him at all.  
  
Tsubaki's eyes rested on him, then without warning he burst out laughing.  
  
"Are you serious?" he shouted, so loudly that people turned around in their seats to look at him. "You really didn't know anything! And you call yourself his friend? Ah ha ha ha... bori–"  
  
He didn't finish the word when his phone gave an insistent buzz, and he stopped mid-sentence. Glancing at the screen, he gave a small gasp as his eyes went wide, reading the caller ID over and over as if to ascertain that he hadn't misread.  
  
Mahiru tried to peek at his phone screen. "What's wrong?"  
  
"The bill, please!" Tsubaki shouted without any indication that he had heard Mahiru at all. Then he paid, got up, and started towards the door.  
  
"It was an interesting encounter, Shirota Mahiru," he declared, "but now I have to leave. The person calling me isn't someone I'd like to keep waiting. He can be scary, you know." He stopped in the door, grinned over his shoulder and waved, red eyes meeting Mahiru's in a dark, mischievous glint.  
  
"Until our next meeting."  
  
Then he stepped outside, the door swooshed closed behind him, and he disappeared in the crowded street.  
  
Mahiru stared after him, motionless, one hand outstretched as if trying to pull him back.  _Wait, Tsubaki,_  he wanted to shout.  _Where are you going? Where is Sakuya now? What are you doing with him? When will you give him back?_  
  
_Give... Sakuya back..._  
  
But Tsubaki was gone... it was too late, he had disappeared again, and Mahiru was left with nothing but questions. Where had Tsubaki disappeared to? How would he find him again? How could he find Sakuya? Could they even talk to each other again at all? What should he tell him? Did he even want to see him at all after everything that happened?  
  
What should he do?  
  
"...Mahiru?"  
  
Mahiru flinched, nearly knocking over the plate that still lay in front of him, untouched. But it was only Uncle Tooru who was standing in front of him, looking at him with surprised brown eyes.  
  
"Did the young man with the good taste already leave?" he said, looking around with a trace of disappointment in his voice. "Too bad– Mahiru?" His eyes went wide with concern. "Mahiru, what's wrong?"  
  
Following a sudden instinct, Mahiru wiped a hand over his face and came back with his fingers wet.  
  
Wait... why was his face wet all of a sudden? Why was everything so blurry in front of his eyes?  
  
Why... was he crying?  
  
"Uncle..." he whispered, lowering his head, trying to hide the tears running down his face, the tears that he couldn't explain. "I... I lost an important friend... and..." It was no use. His voice cracked. It was crumbling down into nothing, but he kept speaking, words pouring out of him with the stream of tears spilling freely over his cheeks, unchecked, unstoppable. "I... Why did all this happen? Why didn't I try to get to know him better? All this time, and still..." He ran a hand over his eyes. "Just because I didn't want him to get into trouble I lied in his face... I never thought... I never thought..."  
  
A sob cut off his words, and he closed his eyes, tears falling down on his jeans, soaking into the fabric, his breath hitching as his whole body trembled. His heart was breaking in his chest. All the worries, all the guilt, all the sadness that had piled up since yesterday came pouring out of him, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him to the core.  
  
Uncle Tooru watched him for a long, quiet moment, then he gave a soft sigh. "So you had a fight, huh."  
  
Mahiru sniffled and said nothing.  
  
"Is it really beyond saving?"  
  
Mahiru's sniffles paused. A tear rolled silently down his cheek and fell to the ground, unnoticed.  
  
"I don't know," he admitted quietly. "I can't think of a way to save it..." Another sob interrupted his words, and something clenched in his chest, a violent surge of frustration. "It's not fair!" he burst out through his sobs, wiping furiously at his eyes as if that would stop the tears from running down his face. "I just wanted to be an adult like you, Uncle... someone who reaches out to others and... and protects them..." He swallowed. "But I can't even understand when my friend needs my help for years! It's just... it's just..."  
  
"Hey, now."  
  
Uncle Tooru sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and patting him gently. "I don't know what happened between you and your friend," he said, "but if it's about reaching out to someone, it's simple." He smiled and ruffled Mahiru's hair. "You just have to be ready to stick to them no matter what. You have to trust them."  
  
His uncle's words... his hand, warm, steady and reassuring... just like back then, when he had first taken him in...  
  
Mahiru had always wanted to be like that. He had always wanted to give others this feeling.  
  
His uncle was right. He should trust Sakuya. And he wanted to say that he did, he really did. But was that true? Would he really have tried to fight him if he did? If he had wanted to protect him, why–  
  
Something must have shown in his expression, because Uncle Tooru gave his head another pat. "It's okay to make mistakes," he said warmly. "That's how people learn. But don't leave any regrets behind, will you?" He looked straight into Mahiru's eyes. "What you think is right won't be the same as what others think is right. That's normal, we're not the same people after all. And still we all have to learn to live together. That's why people always find new ways to get along. You can too." A knowing glint crossed his face. "Unless you think it's okay to leave things as they are?"  
  
Mahiru looked at him in silence, processing the words.  
  
Of course it wasn't okay. Leaving things as they were had never felt less okay. He had to do something. He didn't know how to do it yet or what exactly he should say. But thinking simply, he needed to find Sakuya and talk to him. Explain himself. Apologize. Talk things out and find some way to save their friendship, even if things between them would never be the same.  
  
Straightening, he gobbled down the plate of sushi in front of him and jumped to his feet. "Thanks for the food!" he shouted, already turning to run outside. "And thanks for everything, Uncle... I've got a plan now!"  
  
"Perfect!" Uncle Tooru smiled. "I'll have to go back to work... Watch the traffic on the way!"  
  
"I will!" Mahiru shouted over his shoulder, running out of the shop without so much as a glance back. "See you!"  
  
And he ran all the way back to his house, determination burning hot in his veins, not stopping once until he finally reached his doorstep.  
  
\---  
  
_Please pick up,_  Kuro thought as he held the phone to his ear.  _Please pick up._  
  
He let it ring, first one time, then more, pacing back and forth, waiting, waiting, waiting. He couldn't believe what he was doing. Asking that guy of all people for help... He had to be out of his mind. This was never going to work. And a few months ago he would have admitted that and left things be. What business was it of his if two people fell out, anyway? It wasn't like he could do anything, he would have told himself. But right now, after everything that happened, the Kuro who was right here in this very spot couldn't sit by and do nothing anymore.  
  
He didn't know what had changed, exactly. Must be Mahiru's influence. Mahiru had taught him to open up to people more, to have faith in himself and others and stop isolating himself and pretending he had nothing to do with the world. Mahiru had taught him that approaching people and taking action could get him a long way, and maybe that newfound knowledge had made him reckless, but he didn't know what else to do. In his situation Mahiru would definitely do the same.  
  
The phone kept ringing, and still no one answered. Kuro sighed. Had that guy even seen the call? Maybe he had muted his phone or left it at home, wherever that was these days. Or maybe he had seen it and was ignoring it on purpose. He wouldn't put it past him.  
  
Perhaps he should ask Ryuusei or Koyuki for a way to reach Sakuya after all... but what if Sakuya didn't answer his phone either? What if he had changed his number so that Mahiru and his old friends wouldn't be able to reach him anymore? No, he needed to talk to him in person, and there was no one else he could ask who might possibly know where to find him.  
  
_Please pick up... come on..._  
  
Who was he kidding, of course he wouldn't. He should probably hang up and–  
  
There was a click in the line, and a moment later a familiar, irksome voice came ringing from the speakers.  
  
"My, my, what a surprise," Tsubaki said with an obvious grin in his voice, sounding like he was trying hard not to laugh. "Big brother, it's been so long! I'm surprised you still had my number..."  
  
Kuro glared at the phone in his hand, already regretting his decision. "Shut up."  
  
On the other end of the line Tsubaki burst out laughing. "Shut up, he says!" he guffawed, quickly interrupted by an even louder fit of laughter. "Shut up! But big brother, how do you expect me to talk to you if you ask me to  _shut up?_  Ah..." He calmed down from one second to the next. "Boring."  
  
It took Kuro all of his willpower to not crush the phone in his hands. Honestly, what had he been thinking earlier? Tsubaki was still every bit as terrible as he had been the last time they talked, irritating, nerve-grating, headache-inducing. What on earth was he wasting his cell phone battery on him for when it was already in the red after forgetting to charge it last night?  
  
But he had to take care of this. He had come this far, and he wasn't going to back out now. For Mahiru. For everyone.  
  
"Shut up," he said again, forcing himself to sound as calm as he could. "I gotta ask you something."  
  
Tsubaki paused and perked up. "Big brother, asking me something?" He sounded genuinely surprised, even though his voice hadn't lost its mocking edge. "How unusual... What, are you dying? Do you need someone to do the eulogy at your funeral?"  
  
"I wish. At least then I wouldn't have to deal with you much longer." Kuro sighed, still fighting off the growing headache. "That's not it though... I gotta talk to Sakuya."  
  
Tsubaki paused again, and when he spoke he was audibly taken aback. "To Sakuya?"  
  
"Yeah. Where is he?"  
  
There was a moment's silence. Kuro sighed again and held the phone at arm's length just as Tsubaki burst out laughing once more.  
  
"Ahahahahaha! Big brother, are you serious?" his voice came shrieking from the speaker. "So straightforward... Do you really expect me to tell you that just like this? Ah... boring."  
  
Kuro's grip tightened on the phone. Of course he wouldn't tell him. He should have known.  
  
"Tell me," he demanded again, even if he knew it was probably futile. "It's an emergency."  
  
Tsubaki gave an amused hum, visibly enjoying his situation. "Or so you say," he replied. "But what if this is all a ruse, big brother? What if you don't want to speak to Sakuya and are asking for his whereabouts so you can kidnap or hurt him?" His tone turned melodramatic. "So cruel, big brother... You don't expect me to betray my own gang members to the enemy like this, do you? That would be truly horrible..."  
  
Kuro flinched. This part was a valid argument, he realized. Of course Tsubaki had no reason to trust him any more than he had a reason to trust Tsubaki. Of course he wouldn't just tell him where to find Sakuya like that.  
  
What should he do, then?  
  
What would Mahiru do?  
  
Mahiru... Mahiru would use words, he thought. Mahiru would try to reach out to Tsubaki and convince him that he meant well, try to communicate before picking a fight in the hopes of resolving this peacefully. Mahiru would solve this with his kindness for as long as he could.  
  
Words... communication... kindness... all the things he was bad at.  
  
But if he wanted to solve this, he had no choice but to try. Because thinking simply, if he didn't find and talk to Sakuya, who would?  
  
"I'm not gonna kidnap or hurt anybody," he said, his pride rapidly crumbling away as embarrassment crept throughout his body, and still he kept going, biting back on the shame. "I just wanna talk to him. What a pain."  
  
"Oh, big brother, but how do you expect me to believe that explanation? After everything you've done to m–"  
  
" _Don't bring that up._ "  
  
A shudder ran down Kuro's spine, creeping over his skin as the memory revived in his mind, cold, ugly and terrifying. Age-old bloodlust awoke and raised its ugly head, sniffing about and urging him to find Tsubaki and rip him to pieces at once.  
  
No... no, no, no. He had promised himself he'd never do anything like that again. Not even to Tsubaki. He would never attack anyone unless he could help it... what he had done last night had already been too much. He had to think of Mahiru, Mahiru... his warm smile... his soulful eyes... the sadness on his face after what happened with Sakuya...  
  
"It's..." He swallowed hard, forcing himself to keep talking even as all of his instincts screamed at him to shut up. "It's for Mahiru. I want to help him... make up with Sakuya again."  
  
Kuro fully expected Tsubaki to start laughing again, but he didn't. He didn't answer at all for a very long time, so long that Kuro started wondering if the connection was dead.  
  
"Help Shirota Mahiru, is it?" he said at last, his voice much quieter than before. "You almost sound like you changed, big brother."  
  
Kuro said nothing. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"Well, even if that's true," Tsubaki said after another long pause, bouncing back to his usual self, "how do I make sure you won't fight or kidnap him after all? Another disagreement is all it takes, and this might end in tragedy, you know."  
  
Yes, Kuro knew that. He knew that perfectly well. After all, he had spent too much time on the streets to not know.  
  
He also knew that Mahiru would find a way to tell Tsubaki his fears were unwarranted. Mahiru would convince him that there would be no fighting or kidnappings or tragedies, saying something about how Kuro had changed and that he'd never attack anyone without a good reason, or some other cheesy shounen manga protagonist nonsense like that. But he wasn't Mahiru. He couldn't pull that off... but he had enough experience on the battlefield of the streets to know what he could do.  
  
It was a risk. But he knew enough about Tsubaki to know that it wasn't a high one.  
  
"You can keep watch around us," he said.  
  
Tsubaki's voice turned completely baffled. "What?"  
  
"You heard me." This was risky, definitely risky. But there was something bigger at stake here, something that was worth more than his happiness or safety or wellbeing. If something happened to him here, it would be the lesser of two evils compared to failing Mahiru when he needed him the most. "You can keep watch and if I try something weird, you can do whatever you want. Just don't listen in on our convo, I guess." He shrugged at the phone. "It's a cease-fire."  
  
"A cease-fire, is it?" Usually Tsubaki should start laughing about now, but his voice was still serious as ever, serious and amazed. "And you're seriously suggesting we can keep watch and attack you if we need to? Where's the catch, big brother?"  
  
Kuro sighed. "There's none."  
  
There was a beat of disbelieving silence, then Tsubaki burst into laughter once more. He laughed and laughed and laughed so hard that Kuro thought he might never stop until he choked on his own laughter, guffawing, shrieking, roaring with laughter, laughing so hard he couldn't get a word out at all. "No catch!" he gasped out as soon as he regained his breath. "No catch, he says! Big brother, you aren't telling me you're going this far just for Shirota Mahiru?" He took in a gulp of air and lapsed into a fit of giggles. "Big brother got attached, big brother got attached..."  
  
"Shut up," Kuro muttered feebly at the phone, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment.  
  
But Tsubaki continued laughing for a little longer, until at last he gave a great exhale and finished with the usual, "Boring." Taking a few more breaths to steady himself, he made another amused noise and then finally spoke up in a serious, steady voice, not the troublemaker and jokester one he was used to hearing but one of a gang leader that meant business.  
  
"Very well," he said. "I'll tell you where to find Sakuya, and you talk to him in peace while we watch. But I am warning you, big brother. Betray my trust and you're dead."  
  
\---  
  
"...Kuro?"  
  
Mahiru listened for a response, but there was nothing. No answer. No footsteps. No unwilling groan. Not even the rustle of movements to show him that somewhere, anywhere in this apartment, there was anyone other than him.  
  
"Kuro," he called again, hurrying from door to door, opening one of them, running, searching, even as he knew it was in vain. If the keys and shoes weren't here, how should Kuro be back? And yet he couldn't help hoping, hoping... "Kuro!"  
  
He was staying out really long today, wasn't he?  
  
Mahiru stared at the empty key hanger, then at the floor. What was Kuro doing? He had only gone out for a breath of fresh air, and now it had already been hours... And it wasn't like he liked being outside in the first place! Especially not in this heat. It was strange. It was definitely strange.  
  
Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong.  
  
Mahiru swallowed, gazing at the window, the bright blue sky outside. Where was Kuro? Had he gotten lost? Was he somewhere outside, keeping to the shade, not knowing how to find his way home? What if the sun had burned his skin again? What if the heat was getting to him? He hadn't taken anything to drink with him... How long would he hold out without suffering heatstroke? And he wasn't even used to this heat in general... Or what if he had met someone of Tsubaki's gang again? Could he be hurt? What if he was out there somewhere needing Mahiru's help?  
  
Without a moment's hesitation Mahiru pulled out his phone, dialing Kuro's number and waiting, waiting, waiting as the seconds ticked by, the connection slowly building up...  _please answer the phone, Kuro... please pick up..._  
  
There was a beep, and then a voice sounded from the speakers that was definitely not Kuro's. "The number which you have dialed is currently not available. Please try again at a later time or leave a message after the tone."  
  
Mahiru hung up.  
  
What was going on here?  
  
Kuro wasn't answering the phone... no, it seemed like his phone wasn't on at all. What had happened? Had it died on him? Was he in a place with no reception? Or had he turned his phone off himself? And if so, why would he?  
  
Did he maybe not want Mahiru to reach him?  
  
No, no, of course not. That couldn't be it. It wasn't Mahiru he was angry at, if anything he was angry at himself... unless he didn't want to face Mahiru again after their argument earlier?  
  
But, but...  
  
But if he had run off like that when he hated going outside, what could it mean except that he didn't want to see Mahiru for a while? Kuro thought so little of himself. How bad must he have felt when Mahiru got angry? How guilty must it have made him? And what he had said after that...  
_  
Don't make this complicated!_  
  
Mahiru flinched. What had he said that for? And when Kuro was already feeling so bad about himself, no less! What had he been thinking? He should have comforted him, should have told him it was okay and there had to be an explanation and they were going to find it together, and that he was grateful for Kuro's efforts to look after him and clean the bento box and kitchen last night and that he appreciated... he appreciated his attempts to cheer him up.  
  
Kuro had been trying to cheer him up last night. The thought didn't fully register until now. When he had kept coming to his room, peering inside, asking if he wanted to play video games... it had been Kuro's clumsy attempt to make Mahiru feel better, and he had been so down in the dumps that he hadn't realized it at all.  
  
_Kuro..._  
  
Something shot through his chest, an emotion, so violent and intense that it knocked the breath from his lungs. He regretted it. He regretted everything. Why had he not seen it earlier? Why had he not understood? And instead he had only made Kuro feel worse... What had he done? Whatever it was, he wanted to undo it. He wanted to travel back in time, he wanted to set it right... he wanted Kuro back.  
  
What was this feeling?  
  
Every inch, every cell of his body and soul was calling for Kuro, yearning, craving for his presence, pulling and twisting and yanking him towards the door, the urge to go and search for him until he saw his dear, familiar sleepy face almost unbearable. No, he didn't just want to see him. He wanted to feel him, pull him into his arms and tell him he was sorry and know that he was real, right there and not going anywhere to disappear into oblivion ever again.  
  
He missed him. He missed him so much it felt like he had lost part of his body.  
  
_This feeling..._  
  
For all this time Kuro had always been there when he needed him. Whenever he looked for him he had found him immediately, never further away than a call or a text or a short walk to his room, a constant, steady presence in everything that had happened in the past few months. His absence felt unnatural, a missing puzzle piece that had never gone missing before, a constant reminder how much Kuro's presence had intertwined with his own. And now Kuro had disappeared, his phone switched off, impossible to reach and impossible to find, and Mahiru felt his absence with every breath he took.  
  
What was wrong with him? He wasn't one to freak out like that normally, was he?  
  
Calm down. He needed to calm down. It was the whole gang war thing getting to him, he thought, making him a paranoid worry-wart who lost his nerve over everything. After everything that happened, he couldn't help feeling reminded of the time Licht and Hyde had disappeared and ended up hospitalized, the time Lily had almost died. And Sakuya had said that Tsubaki's gang was after Kuro, trying to lure him out... but they couldn't possibly attack him in broad daylight, could they? Not in a busy city like Tokyo, someone was bound to get arrested.  
  
So thinking simply, Mahiru would just have to find Kuro again before it got dark.  
  
He had no idea where to look for him. But what he knew without a doubt was that he couldn't afford to waste a single minute.  
  
\---  
  
He should probably at least tell Mahiru he was okay, he thought.  
  
Sighing, Kuro pulled his phone out of his pocket, wondering what to say. Should he explain what he was up to, where he was going? No, definitely not. He wouldn't even tell Mahiru where exactly he was, because otherwise he had no doubts that Mahiru would follow him and end up crashing his meet-up with Sakuya. There was no way that would go over well, to say nothing of Tsubaki and the others who would undoubtedly think it was a trap and try to attack them both.  
  
No, he should just tell him everything was all right and he would hopefully be back home before dark, and he should just do it via text too. Calling would have the side effect of Mahiru trying to ask him questions, and there was no guarantee that he wouldn't manage to get the answers out of Kuro when he tried. Not that Kuro really wanted to hear Mahiru's voice right now, anyway. He couldn't go back and face him until he had at least tried to fix this.  
  
Pressing the home button on his phone, Kuro waited for the screen to light up... but nothing happened.  
  
He pressed it again, longer this time. Pressed the on switch.  
  
Nothing.  
  
He frowned, swallowing the anxiousness rising in his throat. It couldn't be...?  
  
No, there could be no other explanation. No matter how many buttons he pressed, how much he shook his phone and fidgeted with every part of it he could reach, it didn't react. There wasn't even a flash. Nothing. Just a black screen mocking him, blank and unresponsive.  
  
Kuro's hands felt cold. This was it. His battery was dead. He had no way of reaching Mahiru and assuring him he was doing okay and telling him not to go looking for him because he'd be back home soon. And if Mahiru was worried about his absence, he had no way of reaching him either.  
  
What now?  
  
Should he head back? Maybe it would be the best idea, otherwise Mahiru really might get worried... but then what should he say? How should he explain his absence? If he turned back now, he would have gone missing for no reason. Mahiru and Sakuya would still be separated, and he wouldn't have done a single thing except cause Mahiru more trouble. Could he really face him like this?  
  
No, of course he couldn't. He couldn't go home without at least doing something, finding some way to help Mahiru, even a little. And Sakuya had to be waiting for him at their meeting spot, a meeting that had been so hard and troublesome to arrange in the first place and an opportunity he couldn't miss now. He had to at least try and go there. If he kept it short and hurried home afterwards, hopefully he wouldn't make Mahiru worry too much.  
  
_Did you hear that, Mahiru? I'm fine. I'll be back soon, so don't do anything stupid._  
  
\---  
  
He didn't like this place.  
  
Kuro looked around, taking in the abandoned building looking so peaceful and unconspicuous in the summer sun, moss and dandelions spouting from the cracks in the concrete. It still looked much the same as it had the last time he had seen it; the door was still unhinged, the windows broken, and the flight of stairs inside was still missing its railing. If he stepped inside, he was half convinced he would still find the old drink cans and empty snack bags lying scattered on the ground, and if he climbed onto the roof...  
  
No, of course not. They had cleaned out the place years ago. Right now this was just an old abandoned building that no one had yet bothered to sell or pull down.  
  
But it still brought back bad memories.  
  
For a moment he asked himself why he had agreed to meet Sakuya here of all places, at the very spot he had never wanted to see again, not even in his dreams that were still haunted by its image to this day. Tsubaki must definitely have done this on purpose, he thought. He must have done this to get revenge, at least a little, to mock him and rub his need and desperation in his face. He shouldn't have agreed.  
  
"Oh, so it's you I'm supposed to meet here?"  
  
Kuro whirled around. Standing behind him on the sidewalk, hands tucked into his pockets, looking him up and down with a mocking grin, was none other than Sakuya, looking like he hadn't slept at all since last night but otherwise fine, his red eyes glowing with the dangerous aura of a fighter. Kuro felt his own body tense up in response. He just hoped that Tsubaki would keep his side of the bargain, or else he'd be doomed.  
  
"Yeah," he said quietly, searching Sakuya's figure for any signs of hidden weapons. "Thought you knew."  
  
"I didn't." Sakuya shrugged without looking the slightest bit casual. "Tsubaki-san just told me to meet somebody here and not attack them unless they did it first. But I sure didn't expect to see you here,  _Sleepy Ash_."  
  
Kuro flinched at the use of his old title. "That's not me anymore," he hissed.  
  
"I don't care what you call yourself now. You're still the same person, aren't you?" Kuro narrowed his eyes, freezing chills running all over his body, as Sakuya gave another shrug and stepped into the building, motioning for him to follow. "Anyway, what do you want? Let's get this farce over with already."  
  
Kuro followed him inside even as everything inside him protested, alarm bells roaring through his body and mind. He didn't want to go in there. He didn't want to go in there. He didn't want to see, he didn't want to remember–  
  
Mahiru's expression flashed through his mind, horror-struck and heartbroken as the full realization of the truth hit him square in the face. His figure lying in the dark room, face buried into the pillow, unwilling to even raise his head to answer. The look that must be on his face right now, wondering where Kuro was and why he wasn't answering his phone.  
  
Mahiru. He was doing this for Mahiru. He had to.  
  
Swallowing the panic that encompassed every inch of his body, Kuro closed his eyes and stepped in through the door.  
  
His footsteps echoed through the quiet building, reverberating off the concrete walls. There was nothing else, no other sound, and yet Kuro felt like he could sense other presences here besides Sakuya's, more distant presences, undoubtedly Tsubaki and the gang keeping watch. He should definitely get this over with quickly. The sooner he got out of this cursed place, the better.  
  
"So," Sakuya asked, avoiding his gaze but watching him from the corner of his eye, as if expecting a surprise attack, "what's this about?"  
  
"Mahiru."  
  
Sakuya's expression changed. His eyes shot open, flashing at Kuro with panicked horror in their eyes. His entire body went rigid, all blood draining from his face at the mere mention of the name.  
  
He swallowed, looked away, and took a step back as if to protect himself. "What about him?" he asked coldly, but Kuro didn't miss the obvious emotion trembling violently in his voice.  
  
He still cared about him. Kuro gave the tiniest sigh of relief. Whatever else was the matter between Mahiru and Sakuya, at least he didn't hate him. There might still be a way to get through to him.  
  
"Talk to him," he said, and Sakuya flinched again. "He can't deal with losing you."  
  
For a moment something shot through Sakuya's eyes, something like regret, then his expression closed down. He gave a mirthless laugh, grinning the same empty grin as last night when he had revealed himself to Mahiru. "That sounds like his problem," he said, turning towards the door. "Is that all you wanted to talk about? What a waste of time."  
  
He wasn't listening. Of course he wasn't.  
  
Anger shot through Kuro's body, burning frustration mingling with icy cold panic. Sakuya wasn't listening. He was acting the same way as last night. He needed to change his strategy... he needed to get through to him, or else...  
  
"Mahiru still thinks you're his friend, you know."  
  
Sakuya's grin wavered. For a second he looked surprised, not fully realizing what was happening, like someone who had been stabbed in the heart and glanced down at the knife in their chest for the split second before the pain kicked in.  
  
" _Friend_ ," he repeated, lowering his head, giving a mocking smile as bitterness seeped grimly into his voice. "Friend... and you believe that?" He chuckled. "It's such a convenient lie. The easiest way to make somebody trust you... because they want to believe it, because everybody believes what they want to believe. It's the oldest lie in the world."  
  
Raising his head, he stepped towards Kuro, his grin turning bloodthirsty, dangerous. "You really believe it when Mahiru calls someone a friend? Me..." He pointed a finger towards Kuro's chest. "Or you?"  
  
Kuro froze.  
  
The words shot into his mind before he could block them out. The idea shuddered through his mind, crept down his spine, closed its long, icy fingers around his furiously beating heart. Mahiru... a liar?  
  
Mahiru... pretending to lie about their friendship?  
  
No. Mahiru wouldn't do that. Mahiru was a terrible liar, so straightforward and honest that he couldn't fool anyone if he tried, kind, caring and compassionate to care about the most awful of people, people like the real Sakuya... or Kuro himself.  
  
_Although it would make a lot more sense if Mahiru had been lying.  
  
After all, who would honestly care about a monster like Kuro?_  
  
No. No! It was just Sakuya taunting him. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Mahiru wasn't that kind of person!  
  
"Hey," he said, forcing his voice to sound as calm as he could possibly muster. "Not to be rude, but I think you're the liar here. Mahiru would never–"  
  
" _I thought so too!_ "  
  
Kuro stumbled back. The taunting grin had left Sakuya's face. The only emotion in his face was pain, pain beyond anything words could describe, fury and bitterness and betrayal and heartbreak.  
  
"Mahiru would never do that," Sakuya said grimly, his eyes unfathomable shadows. "Mahiru is not that kind of person. I used to think that. But then he went and did everything I never thought he'd ever think of doing!" His voice cracked at the edges. "How am I supposed to know what he would never do?"  
  
Kuro looked at him in silence. Part of him understood the emotion reflected in Sakuya's face. This broken trust, this disappointed hope... the feeling that he would never be able to trust that person again, no matter what they did, how they changed, how much they tried to redeem themselves. How many times had he felt it before, himself? He had lost count. He couldn't remember.  
  
But those times had been different. Back then it had only been him, hoping desperately for someone to treat him better when they had yet done nothing to earn that trust. Mahiru and Sakuya had known each other since they were barely old enough to walk. They had kept secrets from each other, but they should know each other's personalities inside and out.  
  
"Y'know, Mahiru thought you'd never be part of Tsubaki's gang either."  
  
Sakuya flinched as though he had been slapped. "That's–"  
  
"And he never thought you'd hurt people." Kuro hunted down Sakuya's gaze, keeping it locked with his eyes even as it tried to run away. "But he still trusts you. So who's the bigger liar here?"  
  
Sakuya was silent. His head hung low on his shoulders, messy bangs falling into his face to obscure his expression. His shoulders were trembling like an earthquake, as if there was something fighting and raging inside his chest, struggling to be let loose.  
  
"Stop it," he whispered, his voice shaky and thick with tears. "Stop. Shut up... _shut up!_ "  
  
His head shot up as he leaped forward, grabbing Kuro's shirt and slamming him into the wall. "Shut up!" he screamed, tears swimming in his eyes. "Stop talking about Mahiru! I don't care about Mahiru! He's dead to me!"  
  
Kuro gritted his teeth. Throbbing pain shot up his spine where his back had hit the concrete wall. The urge to push Sakuya off and fight back roared up inside him, to tear him up and rip him to pieces until he could no longer attack him or anyone else. He bit it down. Mustn't attack. Couldn't attack. If he attacked Sakuya here, everything up until this point would go to shreds.  
  
Sakuya's eyes shot open. His hand let go of Kuro. His face was pale, horror-struck, like he had done something unforgivable without realizing what he was doing.  
  
Turning, he stepped away from the wall, walking hurriedly towards the door, trying to escape. "Forget about Mahiru," he said quietly. "I'm not making up with him. We're enemies. I won't leave Tsubaki-san's side."  
_  
He's leaving. Quick, think of something–_  
  
Kuro stood up from the wall. "For somebody who says he doesn't care about Mahiru, you sure act a lot like you do."  
  
Sakuya stumbled. For a second he looked like he was about to slow down, then he quickened his steps, hurrying out through the door and into the street.  
  
"Wait!" Kuro shouted, sprinting after him. He couldn't let him get away. Not now–  
  
But when he stumbled into the street, it was deserted except for a handful of strangers.  
  
He looked right. Left. He walked all around the building. But there was no trace of Sakuya anywhere. He had disappeared. He was gone.  
  
Something striped flashed over the edge of his vision. He spun around to spot a head of green hair disappearing behind a group of people, sprinting along the opposite side of the street. Kuro leaped after him, evading the cars that braked with a screech, pushing aside strangers, always running after the green head of hair, faster and faster. But every time he thought he was getting closer it vanished, leaving him to spin around, disoriented, before finally catching it disappearing into a different direction.  
  
Kuro chased after Sakuya. He chased down a dozen streets until he couldn't remember where he was. He chased him until his legs were numb and his lungs were bursting and his head was spinning with exhaustion, making the world around him sway so much he thought he was trapped on a sea ship.  
  
People. People. People. So many people. So many voices. They all looked the same, sounded the same. Streets. Houses. Growing shadows. Cars. Train stations. More streets. People.  
  
Sakuya... he had to find Sakuya...  
  
Where was he? What was he doing?  
  
Find... Sakuya...  
  
The world was blurry. He blinked, but the blur wouldn't go away. His head was bursting. His mouth felt like sandpaper. Water... if only he had some water...  
  
Sakuya...  
  
The world tilted sideways. Kuro caught himself against a tree, sinking down onto the ground and closing his eyes, the only sound in his ears the endless chirping of the crickets.  
  
He had lost Sakuya. He had failed.  
  
Where was he?  
  
He had failed Mahiru. Mahiru... where was he now? Was he getting worried? If only he could at least call him... text him... but his phone...  
  
"Ma...hiru... I..."  
  
Was Mahiru looking for him right now? Would he find him here? He hoped he would. He didn't want to stay here, parched and overheated and so exhausted he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.  
  
But what if Sakuya was right? What if Mahiru didn't even care that he was missing?  
  
That thought was the last he remembered before all went blank.


	44. Lost Friend Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if he was actively avoiding Mahiru, staying out of his sight because he didn't want to see him or talk to him?

Sakuya came to a stumbling halt, his heart hammering hard against his ribcage.  
  
Gasping and panting, he looked around, searching for any sign of Kuro in the streets, but all he saw were unfamiliar faces, anonymous strangers passing him by on either side without throwing him more than a fleeting glance. Kuro was gone. He had shaken him off.  
  
That was close.  
  
With a heavy sigh he stumbled to the side. Finally. He didn't know how much longer he could have kept up this chase, Kuro on his heels, threatening to catch up to him, threatening to say even more that made him waver in his resolve. He couldn't listen to him. He didn't want to listen to him. He had chosen his side. If he stayed friends with Mahiru after finding out they were enemies, what was he supposed to do when they were fighting against each other? If he had to choose between protecting Tsubaki or Mahiru, what should he do? It was better to cut ties. It was better to pretend their friendship hadn't mattered to him, even if it hurt, even if he felt like someone had torn part of his heart out of his chest. Mahiru was a threat to his loyalty. He couldn't stick to him any longer.  
  
But if Kuro was right...  
  
No. He wouldn't think about it. If he had made Mahiru sad, so be it. He was sad too. They would both get over it.  
  
But so sad that Kuro, Sleepy Ash, the immovable object, had set out to speak to him and try to get them to make up at great personal risk? Just how bad did it have to be to set the one into motion who had once been labeled Sloth?  
_  
He wouldn't think about it._  
  
Something buzzed in his pocket. Sakuya snapped out of his thoughts, ran a hand across his sweaty face, and pulled out his phone to glance at the screen. He didn't have to know who it was from; there was only one person it could be.  
  
_Sakuya, where are you? o:_  
  
He smiled. Typical Tsubaki, texting him so soon after he had sprinted out. Granted, the chase had taken its time, but when he had left Kuro the others should already have known he was going to be out for some time, trying to throw off his mark before returning home. He couldn't accidentally lead the enemy back to their headquarters after all, no matter how desperate he was to get back into safety.  
  
_in the city_ , he wrote back, still smiling at the screen even as he rolled his eyes.  _i just shook him off Tsubaki-san_  
  
The typing bubble popped up in an instant, and Tsubaki's reply followed what felt like seconds later.  _Good job, Sakuya! Now hurry home, we're all waiting for you! (≧▽≦)/  
_  
Another stupid emoji. Sakuya sighed. Would Tsubaki ever get rid of those embarrassing things? Probably not. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he would even want a Tsubaki who didn't punctuate all his messages with stupid emoticons.  
_  
We're all waiting for you._  That was another typical Tsubaki sentence. It was so like him, worrying about all his friends, caring about them, trying to bring them all together and gather them around himself like they were all one big family.  
  
Well, in a sense they were.  
  
_Family..._  
  
That was right. They were family, a big, strange family of misfits and outcasts who had somehow come together, fighters and survivors who had escaped from cruel fates, abusive households, absent families, the streets. Tsubaki had saved them all, brought them together, given them hope when all hope had been lost, a ray of light where all had been dark, a curious, quirky beacon of courage who had given them something they had never known before. A safe, welcoming place to come home to. People to belong with. A family. A family of outcasts and criminals, perhaps, but a family nonetheless.  
  
No, he didn't regret sticking with Tsubaki. He never would. Mahiru was important to him, he always had been and despite everything he still was. If he had to choose between hurting Mahiru or breaking Tsubaki's orders, he still didn't know what he would do. Truth be told, he was hoping it would never come to this. And as long as it didn't, as long as he could stay here without harming his former best friend, he was staying at Tsubaki's side. Because Tsubaki wasn't just a friend. Tsubaki was different. He was the sole reason why he was still alive, why he hadn't been killed by his parents like his sister had or jumped off the balcony long before, torn apart by grief and guilt. No... annoying and troublesome as he often was, Tsubaki  _was_  his life.  
  
But if he had told Mahiru earlier... if he hadn't hidden it... where would he be now? Would they be standing on the same side?  
  
He brushed off the thought. That was all in the past, a happy ever after that had never meant to be. Here and now he had made his choice. He couldn't trust Mahiru any longer, he couldn't be friends with him, and it was better to avoid both him and Kuro and not think of him at all.  
_  
He can't deal with losing you._  
  
What if Kuro had meant every word he said? The former gang leader he knew was not the most honest person, but there were certain things he'd never say unless he meant them. And if he had gone through the trouble of seeking him out...  
  
Was it really okay, leaving Mahiru like that without even making sure that he would be fine?  
  
Mahiru wouldn't do it, he thought. Mahiru would check. He would take one last look before turning his back forever, just for the sake of closure.  _Thinking simply, I won't leave any regrets._  That was what he would say.  
  
He didn't have to talk to him, Sakuya told himself. Just looking would be fine. And when he had reassured himself that there was nothing to worry about, he would leave him for real.  
  
Sighing, he pulled out his phone one more time, quickly composing another message to Tsubaki.  
  
_actually i wont be home just yet._  
  
\---  
  
Shadows chased each other through his mind.  
  
Memories from the past, things he didn't want to remember. Faces... the hideout, crowded with people, none of them much older than he was, yet looking grim, so grim, much too grim for a bunch of middle school kids... weapons... screams... blood splattering on concrete...  
  
Mahiru...  
  
Mahiru. Why was he here? He shouldn't be here. Not yet. They hadn't even met yet, this should be a memory–  
  
Except it wasn't a memory. This wasn't middle school. The others were all wearing their high school uniforms. And he was too. This wasn't the past. This was the present, and Mahiru was in the middle of it all.  
  
Blood. More blood. Who were they fighting against? He had seen these jackets before. He knew these intruders. But every time he tried to look at their faces they seemed to fade from his vision, blurring in front of his eyes as if they were nothing but illusions. All he saw clearly were their jackets, slowly getting stained with blood, their hands holding baseball bats and sticks and everything they could get their hands on.  
  
These poor idiots. They didn't stand a chance.  
  
More blood spattered on the ground, on Kuro's face, his clothes. Wait – why was he holding a knife? He never fought using a knife... Why was he holding it? Why was there blood on it? Had someone put it into his hand? Had  _he_... stabbed the person in front of him?  
  
The person in front of him... that was now looking up at him with soulful brown eyes, the eyes he knew so well that every part of him clenched and hurt in response.  
  
Mahiru. He had hit Mahiru. The blood on his knife... was Mahiru's blood. He had...  
  
This was all his fault. He knew they should never have met. He knew they should never have become friends. He knew he should never have made the mistake of pulling Mahiru into his world.  
  
And now he had hurt him, just like he thought he would. Mahiru was standing in front of him, wearing the Servamp badge on his jacket, his arms spread wide, smiling... and then Kuro saw who he had been aiming at, who he really had been trying to attack. The very person who had been protected by Mahiru jumping in front of him, taking the blow instead.  
  
Sakuya.  
  
Except... Sakuya wasn't unhurt either. He was bleeding from countless wounds, cuts and scrapes and gashes all over his body, his face, dark red seeping into his clothes, slowly turning black... who had given him these wounds? Where did they come from? Was it Kuro? Mahiru? Someone else from the gang?  
  
What was happening?  
  
Mahiru... Sakuya... why?  
  
"Help... him," Kuro whispered, staring pleadingly at Sakuya. "Please..."  
  
Sakuya gave him a merciless look and turned away, staggering out of the building. Mahiru collapsed against Kuro, panting heavily, pressing his fingers against the spot where Kuro's blade had hit him.  
  
"It's okay," he whispered. "I saved him... I don't regret it..."  
  
"And neither should you."  
  
The voice enveloped Kuro from behind. His body went rigid, icy cold as a hand came to rest on his shoulder.  
  
No. No. He had thought he would never hear this voice again. Never. No!  
  
"After all, this is your place in the world. Your task. It's what you're destined for." Mahiru started to fade in Kuro's hands, and the voice came ever closer, whispering into his ear.  
  
"So you should never... regret a kill."  
  
Kuro gasped and spiraled into another chasm of blackness.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru couldn't remember how long he had been running through the streets, turning around corners, looking into shops, cafés, restaurants, arcades, pushing through crowds, asking strangers, over and over in a neverending loop. At this point he wasn't sure where he had been already and where he had yet to go and which places made him feel like he had seen them already when it was nothing but déjà vu. He wasn't sure how many times he had tried to text and call Kuro, only for the calls to switch straight to voicemail and the messages not to deliver. It must have been dozens. Nothing.  
  
Where was Kuro?  
  
He didn't know. He was out of ideas. He was tired and sweaty and hoarse from calling Kuro's name, over and over until it started to sound wrong in his own ears, until he couldn't tell if he was really shouting or if it was just the echo of his own voice ringing in his ears. The sun was setting. The shadows were getting darker. And still there was no trace of Kuro, no hint where he might have gone or how he was doing or why he wasn't answering his phone. Nothing. Nothing. No matter where he went, where he looked, nothing.  
  
Where was Kuro?  
  
Why wasn't he answering his phone?  
  
When was he coming back?  
  
What if he wasn't?  
  
What if something had happened to him?  
  
What if... he didn't want to come back?  
  
What if he was actively avoiding Mahiru, staying out of his sight because he didn't want to see him or talk to him? Or what if he had gone so far away that Mahiru had no chance of finding him on foot? Could he have gone back to the school on his own? No, his things were still at home– or were they? What if, while Mahiru had been out looking for him, Kuro had returned home and taken his bags to leave or–  
  
No, he thought. Kuro wouldn't do that. Kuro wasn't one to run away anymore. He had grown so much in the past weeks and months. There had to be a good reason why he was gone.  
  
He wasn't sure if that thought was more calming or worrying.  
  
The shadows were growing longer and longer, casting entire streets into shadow as the sky turned a darker shade of blue, tinting orange and pink and purple at the edges. The day was already ending. Where had all the time gone? Why was it already evening when it felt like Mahiru had only set out moments ago? Moments... and yet...  
  
How long had he been there? When he had set out... what time had it been? How much had passed since then? He couldn't tell. It seemed only a moment ago, but that moment was fluctuating between mere seconds and a lifetime, the time in between a vague blur of nothingness that kept slipping through his fingers like a fistful of sand.  
  
He should be parched. He should be starving. He should be completely at the end of his limits, ready to collapse, too worn out to focus on his search anymore, but all that was shut out. He didn't feel hunger or thirst or pain anymore. All he felt was worry, endless, heart-wrenching worry, nothing but the desire, the urge, the craving to find Kuro again and look at his face, tell him it was okay, he had found a way to solve this mess, he would clear this up and Kuro would never, ever have to blame himself for anything that happened to him again. He wanted to see his face, hear his voice, quiet and monotone and annoyingly snarky, look into those ever-tired red eyes that could express so many feelings, so much emotion that sometimes Mahiru couldn't help feeling like he was being swept away, swept away by emotions whose depth and causes he couldn't even begin to understand. He wanted to find him and bring him back home and never be apart again, for the entire rest of summer break, the entire school year, until graduation... forever.  
  
He had already lost so many people. He couldn't lose Kuro too. Not him. Not the best friend he still had left, the one who had become so precious and dear to him in such a short time that he could barely believe they had only known each other for months. Not Kuro. Please not Kuro.  
  
Tears stung in his eyes. He missed him. He missed Kuro, everything about him, even the annoying parts. No, especially those. What would he give right now to run into him and hear him make a stupid remark about watching where he went, or stumble over his legs and discover that he had fallen asleep and dozed through the entire day. He chuckled at that thought, then his throat became even tighter. He really missed him. So much...  
  
If only he hadn't shown his despair over Sakuya last night. If only he had put on a more reassuring face. If only he hadn't got so angry at Kuro this morning, blown up at him, told him things he was bound to misunderstand...  
  
_He's fine,_  he tried to tell himself as he trudged on, shouting Kuro's name into the darkening streets.  _He has to be. Kuro's strong._  
  
And yet... why couldn't he get rid of the growing sense of dread in his gut? What was this feeling?  
  
Why was he... so terrified?  
  
"Kuro!" he shouted. "Kuro!"  
  
His voice cracked. His vision blurred. He swallowed audibly, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go away. "Kuro," he rasped out, running a hand over his eyes. "Not you too, Kuro... please..."  
  
No one answered. The city was silent as ever. A handful of people threw him glances as they passed by, only to quickly turn away and pretend they hadn't seen the lost high school boy with tears in his eyes.  
  
"Kuro..."  
  
The tears in his eyes were growing heavier and heavier, threatening to spill over and fall from his eyes. His legs hurt. His chest hurt more, tightened into a knot of fear, worry and overwhelming loneliness.  
  
What if Kuro, too, thought they couldn't be friends anymore? What if Kuro had left him for good? What if he was hiding from him now, staying who knew where, under who knew what conditions because he didn't want to come back and see Mahiru again?  
  
Why had he argued with him? Why hadn't he told him how grateful he was to always have him there? Why hadn't he comforted him properly? And why, why, why hadn't he stopped him when he had gone out?  
  
His voice had shattered to bits. The lump in his throat was a cannonball of lead. His vision was so watery the world looked like he was diving without goggles, deeper and deeper into a tank with no fish, no seaweed, nothing but plain, clear, burning hot water.  
  
No. He wouldn't cry. Not yet.  
  
Wiping his eyes, he straightened up, resuming his walk down the street without knowing where he was headed. He wouldn't despair. He wouldn't cry. He would keep on walking, searching, anywhere Kuro could possibly be, anywhere he might hide, turning every stone and peeking into every corner until he found him. He would keep on hoping that his messages would deliver, his calls would get through, and Kuro would see them and answer, tell him something, anything to let him know that he was okay. And he would keep persevering. He would keep on going until his legs gave way underneath him. On and on, until he knew what had happened to Kuro.  
  
And then, only then, would he be allowed to cry.  
  
\---  
  
No one at Mahiru's house.  
  
Sakuya looked around the street, wondering what to do. No matter where he looked, Mahiru was definitely not home. He had been here enough times by now; he could tell. Even now that he had no intentions of setting foot into Mahiru's apartment ever again.  
  
Where should he go now? Mahiru could be anywhere. He might just have gone to the grocery store, picking up food for dinner like the housewife he was; or maybe he was with Ryuusei and Koyuki, searching company perhaps, or already wondering who to replace him with. Maybe he had even gone out and was enjoying himself and Kuro had lied to him. A stab shot through his chest at those thoughts. Despite everything that had happened, imagining a Mahiru capable of all that seemed wrong in a million different ways that made his entire being squirm and recoil in protest. No, Mahiru had to be out here... somewhere...  
  
He hadn't gone looking for him, had he? The thought hit him like a knife. No way. No matter what Kuro said, Mahiru wouldn't go that far. He shouldn't go that far. For his own sake he should leave Sakuya alone, come to terms with his loss and move on.  
  
But what if Mahiru had gone out looking for Kuro?  
  
He paused, pondering the thought. That seemed a bit more likely, and significantly less painful. Seeing how Kuro had turned up and talked to him, Sakuya doubted that he had told Mahiru where he was going. And if he still wasn't home by now, Mahiru was probably getting worried. No, he was definitely getting worried. He was such a fuss; he must already have called him five times and sent him a dozen texts and left several messages on his voicemail where he yelled at him for being irresponsible and going away without saying a word. Sakuya swallowed. Once upon a time... not too long ago, he had been on the receiving end of all that.  
  
Perhaps he should go back and search the area where he had lost Kuro. Maybe he would find Mahiru there, or maybe he would get a clue as to where to see him. Not talk to him, of course. He would only check up on Mahiru, make sure he got home safely, and turn his back on him forever.  
  
Really.  
  
\---  
  
Where was he?  
  
Mahiru leaned against the wall, staring at the unfamiliar buildings, the flashing lights, the crowds of strangers pushing past. He had no idea what time it was, how long he had been walking, how far he was from home. He didn't even remember the way back. His entire body felt heavy, so heavy that he could barely move on, and yet he did, walking and walking mechanically long after he had hit his breaking point. His eyes hurt. No trace of Kuro. Only bright neon lights flashing into his vision, blinding him, leaving him to stumble on and on while barely seeing a thing.  
  
How much longer could he keep going on like this, walking on and on with no trace of Kuro and no goal in front of his eyes? Was he even heading in the right direction? What if he was hopelessly lost here, and Kuro was out there needing him on the opposite side of the city?  
  
Maybe he should turn back. Maybe he should go and look around the house again, see if Kuro had returned, or if he hadn't gone away that far after all. Walking around here in the middle of nowhere was pointless. What were the odds that he was going to run into him in this unfamiliar place, anyway?  
  
But what if he was close to him now and turned back? What if he had almost found Kuro now, and it would only take him a few more steps to get to him, to find him and see his face again at last?  
  
But hadn't he already been telling himself the same thing for the past two hours?  
  
But what if it was true this time?  
  
But what if that attitude was only leading him further away from Kuro, who might be looking for him in a whole different place?  
  
But what if–  
  
Something buzzed in his pocket.  
  
Mahiru jumped. His hand automatically shot into his jacket to close around his phone, snatching it out with the greed of one who had been waiting countless hours for a hint, a sign. Kuro. It was Kuro. It had to be Kuro. Kuro had finally turned on his phone and found a way to contact him, and his aimless search would have an end. He would find him now. Everything would be all right.  
  
Except... the message wasn't from Kuro. The sender's name read  _Sakuya_.  
  
Sakuya? Now?  
  
Why?  
  
Mahiru hesitated. For a moment he wasn't sure if he really wanted to read this message now. What if Sakuya wanted something he couldn't take care of right now? He couldn't abandon Kuro. Not as long as he didn't know where he was or what had become of him.  
  
But... Sakuya had contacted him. Sakuya, who had turned his back on him and left him yesterday, refusing to even hear him out, had come back and texted him, how or why, he didn't know. But maybe there was still hope for their friendship. Maybe this was a unique opportunity. Maybe if he checked and replied to this message now, they might still fix this whole mess after all.  
  
So he tapped it and waited for it to open before taking the whole message in at once.  
  
_hey if ur out looking for him u might wanna check around here. thats where i last saw him_  
  
Mahiru stared at the text for a full minute, trying to understand.  _Him_? Who was  _he_? Around where? Check for what? Was this a trap? What was Sakuya talking about–  
  
Another message appeared underneath the first, showing nothing but a loading screen. Mahiru stepped away from the wall in search of a better signal. Then the loading screen disappeared to be replaced by a picture– no, a map.  
  
A location? So that was  _around here_... but still, who was  _he_?  
  
Could it be...?!  
  
"Sakuya?" he burst out, ignoring the way people turned their heads to stare at him as they passed. "What are you– You don't mean–?"  
  
Right. He wasn't here.  
  
_Sakuya?_  he texted back, typing so hurriedly he almost dropped the phone.  _What are you talking about? You don't mean Kuro...?!_  
  
No way. That couldn't be. Sakuya wouldn't help him with that. Sakuya had no reason to help him find Kuro. Why should he? Kuro was his enemy. And no matter how much he still cared about Mahiru, he wouldn't go out of his way to help him find his worst enemy the day after ending their friendship, would he? No, he had to be talking about someone else... but what did that mean? Had someone disappeared in his absence? Was someone in danger?  
  
Should he head to that location, even if it meant abandoning his search for Kuro for now?  
  
A typing bubble popped up from Sakuya's side. It lingered for awhile, then it disappeared to be replaced by another short message.  
  
_find ur friend_  
  
Mahiru waited. He waited and waited. But there were no more messages. No explanations, no elaboration. Nothing. Just this short, cryptic text that told him everything and nothing at once.  
_  
Find your friend._  Technically that could mean anyone. Mahiru had a lot of friends, even if most of them weren't remotely close to the area in that map. It could be Ryuusei, Koyuki, Tetsu, Hugh, even Licht and Hyde if they had returned from abroad again. And yet he knew it wasn't. He didn't know how he knew, but some part of him, deep down, so deep that he could barely see it, was perfectly sure that this could only mean one person.  
  
It was Kuro. It had to be Kuro. He just knew.  
  
His fingers tapped the map, greedily zooming in and out in search of the location, trying to figure out how to get there. It wasn't too close, he realized. But it wasn't exactly far either. Somehow, knowingly or not, he had followed Kuro in the right direction.  
  
His heart pounded hard against his chest. His breaths came faster. His entire body seemed revived and energized, the pain and exhaustion gone, his mind filling with anxiousness and hope at the new clue in his hands. He had a chance of finding Kuro now. He knew where he might be. He had no idea how Sakuya knew or why they had seen each other, but it was a clue. Maybe it was fake. Maybe it was a trap. But Sakuya wouldn't do that, he knew. Sakuya had tried to protect him only last night. Somewhere, deep down, he was still his friend. He could trust him.  
  
Following the route with his finger, he compared the names of the streets with the ones on the map, chose the right direction and set off.  
  
\---  
  
Sakuya looked down from the rooftop, a bitter smile on his face.  
  
Down below in the street he could still see Mahiru, phone in hand, bustling through the groups of strangers as he hurried along the street, phone in hand, glancing up and down to compare the street names with his route. Sakuya couldn't see his face, but from the way he was moving, he could easily imagine; he seemed so excitedly busy and determined that he had to be wearing that typical determined Mahiru look, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his gaze excited and his eyes and face alight with that energy unique to him, hurrying along the street with a sense of purpose in every move. He swallowed. The image had forced itself into his mind, a vivid picture comprised of the memories of a decade, years and years of knowing each other inside and out.  
  
He wished it hadn't come to this.  
  
He wished things had never ended up like this, with falling out and avoiding each other and parting ways as enemies. He wished they had never found themselves on opposing sides. He wished he hadn't found out the truth until later, late enough to subtly fade out of Mahiru's life until things had settled again and he no longer had to choose a side. If he'd had things his way, he would have stayed with Mahiru. He would have kept up his double life and befriended all of Mahiru's friends and had the time of his life and made a million memories, and then after graduation he would have gone his own way and stayed with Tsubaki in peace, maybe waiting until the conflict had resolved itself and then trying to bring them all back together. If only things hadn't ended up this way... if only he hadn't found out... if only this war had never started...  
  
But those were all dreams of a happy ever after that would never come to pass.  
  
This was fine, he told himself. Under the current circumstances it was the best option. He wanted to stay at Tsubaki's side– no, he had to, there was no way around it. Tsubaki had saved his life. Tsubaki had protected him and taught him how to fight, how to protect himself and others dear to him. It was thanks to Tsubaki that he was no longer a mess of fear and guilt but able to keep living, knowing that no one else would have to die to protect him the way his sister had tried. And that was why he would protect Tsubaki with his life, Tsubaki and his entire gang of misfits and outcasts who had somehow come together to find strength in each other.  
  
And if Mahiru was trying to bring them down... no matter their history, no matter their friendship, no matter how close they had been... he wouldn't let him. He would stand between them. Somehow, in some way, he would protect his family, even if he had to protect them from his own best friend.  
  
And maybe he would find a way to end it all peacefully, he thought. Maybe he'd be able to get everyone to bury the hatchet and make up so that he wouldn't have to choose between protecting one side or the other. Because if he was sent against Mahiru... if he had to fight him, hurt him...  
  
No, he wouldn't think about that. If he asked Tsubaki not to task him with that, he should be fine. And the others... he couldn't stop them, of course... but it would be okay. Mahiru had the Servamps to protect him. He had Kuro. Kuro, who would tear the world to pieces for Mahiru just like Sakuya would for Tsubaki.  
  
A small part of him still wished he could do the same.  
  
Sakuya shook his head. He wouldn't think about that. He wouldn't think about Mahiru at all for as long as he could help it. He had made his choice, and they had parted ways. Mahiru would be safe. But he'd be safe with other people.  
  
He looked back down into the street. Mahiru's silhouette had disappeared out of sight, turned a corner perhaps, or disappeared in the crowd. It didn't matter. He had seen Mahiru, and he had affirmed that Mahiru was fine. He had made sure he would stay well-protected, safe in Kuro's hands once he found him again. There was nothing left to do. He could move on now.  
_  
This is goodbye then, Mahiru._  
  
He turned around and walked across the rooftop to the ladder that had led up here, glad that nobody was around to see him crying.  
  
\---  
  
He had found the spot.  
  
Mahiru slowed down, catching his breath. His eyes darted around wildly, trying to be everywhere at once, trying to take in every small detail as if expecting to spot Kuro standing behind the nearest lamppost. His veins were on fire. Kuro was somewhere nearby, he could just feel it. He was close now, so close to finally finding him.  
  
He looked around. Sakuya had written that he had lost Kuro here, but that didn't mean much. It simply meant that their ways had parted there, and Sakuya had gone in one direction while Kuro had gone in the other, for whatever reason. So that meant he had to guess from here on. If he was Sakuya, what way would he have gone? And where would he have headed in Kuro's place?  
  
Mahiru slowed down, going through all the possibilities as the gears rattled through his head. Sakuya had only said that this is where he had last seen Kuro, without a word about what they had been doing, so there were no hints to gain from that. But he couldn't imagine that Sakuya had liked being with Kuro in the current situation. Perhaps he had tried to get away and finally succeeded here. Had Kuro been following him? Or perhaps it had been the other way around, with Sakuya chasing Kuro and Kuro getting away? But then Sakuya wouldn't have texted him and told him to find his friend, would he? Unless... this was a trap after all?  
  
He didn't know, and he didn't care. This was Sakuya. He trusted Sakuya not to lure him into a trap like this. Perhaps that trust was misplaced, but if that was the case, he'd deal with it later. He was no good at doubting people, so thinking simply he wouldn't bother.  
  
Assuming that Sakuya hadn't been chasing Kuro... he must have been the one trying to get away. Perhaps they had run into each other and Kuro had tried to say something, or perhaps Sakuya had wanted to avoid that very situation by running off preemptively. Details could wait. But if that was the case, then he must have made it out into a side street, shielded by a crowd of people, perhaps, and Kuro... thinking simply, he wouldn't have seen him diving away and gone on straight ahead.  
  
At least, that was what Mahiru would have done. And it was the best guess he had.  
  
Straightening up, he set off down the street, always straight ahead, following the dark road as late-night goers passed him on each side. His eyes were everywhere, taking in everything on each side of the road, looking for possible places where Kuro could have gone, but there was nothing, no arcades, no cafés, no cheap snack shops, nothing. So he kept walking. After some time the people became fewer and far between, and the street turned dark as only the streetlamps were left to illuminate it.  
  
He had come into a small park, just big enough to be called something larger than a patch of green, consisting of no more than a grassy field, a bench and a handful of trees. No one was nearby. Everyone who might have spent the day out here had gone home after sunset, it seemed.  
  
And then he saw it.  
  
Lying curled up under one of the trees, close to the pavement, was a figure. A figure that he would have known from a million, even in the dark.  
  
"Kuro!"  
  
Mahiru's legs moved on their own. Forgetting where he was, forgetting what was happening, he sprinted up to the tree, kneeling down at Kuro's side and grabbing his shoulders to shake him. "Kuro?" he shouted, all his insides shaking. " _Kuro!_ "  
  
Kuro didn't stir. He was still lying on his side with his back facing Mahiru, curled into an uncomfortable position, his hair falling into his face to obscure it from view. His breath was light and shaky, and his skin was clammy and cold, as if he had sweated a lot and the sweat had chilled uncomfortably in the cool evening air. He was out like a light. But he was here, he was real, and he didn't seem hurt.  
  
"Kuro!" Mahiru shouted again, grabbing him and rolling him onto his back with a none-too-gentle gesture. "Wake up already! Hey, can you hear me?"  
  
"...ru...?"  
  
Kuro's eyes fluttered open. Slowly, hesitantly, as if the dim street lights were already enough to blind him, he blinked up at nothing, his eyes slowly adjusting to his surroundings as life returned to his face. "Ma...hiru?"  
  
He was saying his name. He had recognized him. After all these hours of fruitless searching and dreading and hoping, he was here, saying Mahiru's name again in that unique, awkward, irreplaceable Kuro voice.  
  
"It's me," Mahiru said, blinking back the tears that shot into his eyes as a wide, overwhelmed smile spread over his face. "I found you, Kuro, I'm here... What have you been doing? Are you okay? What happened?"  
  
Realization dawned in Kuro's eyes, quickly replaced by blank horror. He tried to sit up, only to lose balance and quickly fall back down on the ground, closing his eyes and wincing. "I, uh... I'm fine," he muttered away to the side.  
  
"Like hell you're fine! You're too dizzy to get up, aren't you?" Mahiru gave a frustrated huff, worried anger mixing into his joy of having Kuro back. "What happened to you, geez?"  
  
Kuro hesitated for a moment, then he turned his head away, his hair falling into his face once more. "Thirsty," he mumbled. "Hungry. Tired. Not hot anymore, though."  
  
Mahiru looked at his worn-out form, the smudges of dirt on his skin, the clothes clinging to his body, and put two and two together. "Don't tell me," he said, shock and anger and concern whirling together into a tornado in his mind. "You didn't eat or drink anything all day in this heat and passed out, didn't you? What are you, an idiot?"  
  
"Can't deal."  
  
"Well, I can't either! First of all you need something to drink, you're probably dehydrated... Ah, why didn't I think of that? I'm gonna go and by you something– no, I can't leave you alone like this! An ambulance, do you need an ambulance–"  
  
"Nah," Kuro muttered, still not looking at Mahiru's face. "I've had worse."  
  
"Well, you sure don't look it! Someday you'll get yourself killed with that attitude!"  
  
Kuro mumbled something that Mahiru couldn't quite catch.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Mahiru sighed.  
  
"You can't walk like this," he remarked, holding out a hand and pushing Kuro down just as he tried to prove him wrong. "I said you can't! We need a ride home... I know! I'll call Uncle Tooru, I think he's not traveling today!"  
  
Before Kuro could protest, Mahiru got up, pulling his phone out of his pocket and moving a few footsteps away to make a quick call.  
  
"Okay, that's settled," he said as he returned to sit back down at Kuro's side. "He's gonna be here in about twenty minutes."  
  
Kuro have a noncommittal hum. His hair was still obscuring his expression, but Mahiru could have sworn he was struggling with something, something he didn't want to admit, perhaps, or something he was ashamed of. He shifted against the tree, wincing again but not relaxing this time, one of his hands closing tightly into the bark of the tree.  
  
After what felt like an eternity he finally spoke again, his voice quiet, soft, so hesitant that it was barely more than a whisper, almost swallowed by the rustling of the wind in the leaves above. "Mahiru... I'm so sorry."  
  
Mahiru blinked, leaning down to try and get a look at his face, but it was still turned away. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Kuro whispered again, scrambling against the tree to move himself into a half-sitting position, pulling up his knees as far as he could. He looked small and forlorn sitting there curled up under the tree, his head lowered to his chest, messy hair falling into his face, his shoulders pulled up as if speaking every single word required a battle with himself. "I... I failed you."  
  
Something shot through Mahiru, a sudden urge, the unexplained desire to wrap an arm around Kuro's shoulders and pull him close, even as another part of him wished nothing more than to punch these feelings out of Kuro's head. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice agitated as he shifted towards Kuro's side, inadvertently closing the distance between them. "You didn't fail a single thing, you–"  
  
"I... tried to talk to him."  
  
Mahiru paused. "What?"  
  
"Sakuya." Kuro pulled his knees even closer, his words flowing more easily now, even if his voice had grown quieter than the wind. "I went to look for him... called Tsubaki to let us meet up, and we did, but... he didn't listen. I couldn't do anything. And in the end he ran away, and I went after him, but... he disappeared, and I passed out." He buried his face between his knees. "I failed you again, Mahiru. I thought..." His voice almost disappeared behind the tangled mess of arms and legs, so soft, so fragile that a single breath of wind could have carried it away unheard. "I thought... if I helped you guys get along again, you wouldn't regret befriending me anymore."  
  
So that was what he'd been doing.  
  
Mahiru stared at him in disbelief, horror, shame and overwhelming gratitude mingling in his chest. Kuro hadn't just run away. Kuro had gone out of his way to try and do the impossible. He had contacted his own worst enemy, the one who was out for his life, just to talk to Mahiru's old friend who had attacked them both just yesterday and held a knife to his throat. He had chased Sakuya around the city, trying to force him to listen, until his body gave way and he fell down on the ground in this little-known spot. And he had done it all for Mahiru's sake, just because he thought it would make him worthy of his friendship.  
  
How had it come to this? How had Mahiru ever let it come to this? How had he let Kuro think that? This was all his fault!  
  
He didn't deserve Kuro. He didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve this selflessness, this kindness, this overwhelming loyalty and dedication that Kuro was offering to him without so much as a second thought.  
  
But he was so grateful to have him in his life. And he was so, so, so grateful to finally have him back.  
  
Tears welled up in his eyes, and this time he didn't blink them away. He laughed, but the laugh came off as half a sob. "Kuro," he burst out as hot tears started streaming down his face, "Kuro, you idiot!"  
  
Kuro lifted his head, hesitantly looking at him for the first time since he had woken up.  
  
"What have you been doing? Why did you ever think you'd have to go that far if I've never regretted taking you in for a single second?" Mahiru gave another sob. "You stupid, stupid...!"  
  
"Mahiru..."  
  
"I'm so glad." Mahiru wiped his eyes, but new tears welled up again in a split second, and he didn't bother to wipe them anymore as he sat there next to Kuro, laughing and crying and looking like a mess. "I'm so glad I met you! I'm so glad you became my friend! I thought something happened to you when you didn't come back... but you... oh, Kuro..."  
  
Kuro stiffened a little. His eyes went wide. And maybe he was imagining it, but Mahiru could have sworn he could see something akin to tears shimmering in his eyes too.  
  
"I'm so grateful you tried to do that for me." Giving another sniffle, Mahiru leaned over and rested his forehead against Kuro's shoulder, still shaking with laughs and sobs. "But please... promise me something, okay? Promise me you'll never disappear on me like that again. Ever. Okay?"  
  
Kuro's body was still tense, nervous, confused as he lifted a hand, softly, gently raising a hand and resting it on Mahiru's head, playing lightly with the tips of his hair.  
  
"Okay."  
  
And as they sat there together, tired and worn out and messy, waiting for Uncle Tooru's car to stop next to the sidewalk, Mahiru suddenly realized something. This feeling... the strange thing he had harbored in his chest all this time... it had a name.  
  
It was love.  
  
He didn't know why it had taken him so long to realize it. Now that he thought about it, it felt so natural. He was in love with Kuro. He had been in love with him for so long that he couldn't even remember when it started, and he didn't want it to stop. It was confusing. It was painful, sometimes. But it was so good, so good that he never wanted it to end.  
  
Not that he would act on these feeling just yet, he thought. This was fine. They could take it slow. He would wait until Kuro was ready, and then he would confess. Anything before that would just stress him out.  
  
And besides, he still had some more urgent business to take care of, anyway. His resolve to fix things with Sakuya still stood, and Kuro's failed attempt had just given him one more reason to try.


	45. Not Over Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had Mahiru not used the same reasoning for never telling him about the Servamps?

"I see," Kuro said without taking his feet off the armrest. "So Lettuce McCurly's got his own tragic past, huh."  
  
He was lying upside down on the couch in Mahiru's apartment, arms crossed under his head, feet dangling over the edge of the armrest, a wet towel on his forehead and an assortment of water bottles and a cup next to him on the coffee table, one of them already empty. Mahiru was only an arm's reach away, keeping a close eye on him where he sat on the floor, trying to ensure that Kuro wouldn't get up until he had got his fill of rest and water. Kuro's phone was plugged into the charger on the opposite side of the room, safely out of Kuro's reach so that he couldn't start playing games when he was supposed to be resting his eyes.  
  
"Yes, he does," Mahiru answered, shooting him a pointed look. "And don't call him a stupid nickname, this is serious!"  
  
Kuro yawned. "Yeah, yeah. So what you gonna do about him?" He reached for his half-full cup of water, made a face, and pushed it back again. "Tie him up till he listens to ya? He's gonna run away again you know. Can I have cola now?"  
  
"For the last time, no!" Mahiru gave an annoyed huff. "You just collapsed earlier, like hell you're even going in the vicinity of sugar and caffeine! Stop complaining and drink your water!"  
  
"Healthy. Can't deal."  
  
"It's a miracle you're still alive with that attitude! Geez!"  
  
Kuro gave an exaggerated long-suffering sigh, took the cup from the table, and drained it with the look of someone taking bitter medicine. "You're so cruel. So what are you gonna do about your emo bestie again?"  
  
"For the last time, stop calling him names," Mahiru said without bothering to sound angry. "And I don't really know yet. But I know there's still hope. I think I can do it."  
  
Kuro dangled his foot. "How? Look for him at the place where he doesn't live?"  
  
"Let me finish! Here." Mahiru pulled out his phone and almost held it out for Kuro to see before remembering what he himself had told him about resting his eyes and pushing it back into his pocket. "Do you know how I found you again in the first place?"  
  
Kuro shrugged, but Mahiru could see him perk up with curiosity. "I dunno, telepathy? The magic of the mighty Mahiru-sama?"  
  
"If you weren't half knocked out already, I'd hit you!" Mahiru shot him a glare, but even he could tell it looked harmless. "No," he added in a quieter tone, leaning against the side of the couch. "I'd never have found you alone. I had help, you know."  
  
Kuro lifted his head, his eyes widening, growing round with surprise. "Help?"  
  
"Yeah." Mahiru smiled. "You know, I didn't have the slightest clue where to look for you. I just walked around randomly, I think... you know, looking anywhere you might be and stuff, but it was getting late and there was still no trace of you and I was almost ready to turn back and go home and check if you were back there, but then I got a text." He leaned over, turning his head to look straight into Kuro's eyes, observing his reaction. "It was from Sakuya."  
  
For a moment Kuro looked as if the words had gone completely over his head. His face was blank, completely void of expression, his eyes simply continuing to stare at Mahiru the way they had before. Then, slowly, it hit him. His eyes grew rounder and rounder, shock, disbelief, worry, hope all mingling in his face, warring for dominance until he looked so shaken and confused that he could barely get a word out.  
  
"Sa...kuya?" he repeated slowly, hesitantly, as if afraid of revealing that he had heard something wrong. "He... He did?"  
  
"Sure! I couldn't believe it either," Mahiru said with a reassuring smile. "But it was definitely him. He sent me a location on a map and told me that's where he last saw you... and then he told me to find you." He grinned. "So thinking simply, I followed it and that's how I found you. Do you get what that means, Kuro?"  
  
Kuro looked at him for a good minute, disbelief still written into every one of his features.  
  
"You went to a place 'cause Sakuya told you?" he said at last, the worry in his face mixing with exasperation. "You do know he's the same guy who kinda tried to kill us last night, do ya?"  
  
Mahiru flinched, feeling a little caught. "Well, I–"  
  
"You're pretty stupid." Kuro sighed. "Can't deal."  
  
"Says the guy who called Tsubaki and agreed on a shady meeting spot just because he wanted to talk to Sakuya!"  
  
"That's..." This time it was Kuro's turn to look caught. "That's different."  
  
"You literally could've been walking into a trap, and you alerted all of Tsubaki's gang!" If he hadn't already been in such a damaged state, Mahiru would definitely have hit Kuro now. "How's that any different from me following Sakuya's text?"  
  
Kuro sighed and rolled over, ignoring Mahiru's worried flinch and protesting noise and dangling his arm over the edge of the couch. "It's different," he insisted, his voice half muffled by the cushions. "I've been in gang wars before, ya know. I know how this stuff works."  
  
Mahiru fell very silent. Part of him expected Kuro to say something more, but the quiet dragged on, silent seconds ticking by at a snail's pace. Something fluttered in his chest. Kuro talked so rarely about his past, he realized. He never brought up his gang history if he could help it. Even just hearing him mention it felt like a rare, precious treasure, a moment meant only for the two of them and no one else.  
  
"Did you have to do that stuff a lot?" Mahiru asked at last, unsure if he should really keep talking or if that would just make Kuro shut down. "Negotiate with the enemy?"  
  
"Nah... not really."  
  
Kuro buried his face into the cushion, his voice coming quieter and more muffled than ever. "That was never really our job," he muttered softly, hesitantly, almost whispering, as if he was telling a terrible secret he had been forbidden from sharing under pain of death. "Our goal wasn't peace... it was to get stronger. We had to fight everybody till we were the strongest." He pulled up his arm to wrap it around the cushion. "But I know how gang brains work. I talked Tsubaki into a ceasefire with a trick. It was safe."  
  
Mahiru frowned skeptically. "A trick?"  
  
Kuro yawned pointedly and said nothing.  
  
 _Are you crazy?_  Mahiru wanted to shout at him.  _They could've tried to kill you! You could've died out there!_  But just as he took a deep breath, something caught in his mind, a realization that he had completely overlooked a moment ago. "Wait," he said slowly. "Did you just say... it was your job?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer.  
  
"What do you mean, your job?" Mahiru tried on, hoping that he wasn't going too far, that he wasn't making Kuro shut down or regret saying anything in the first place. "Did someone make you do it?"  
  
Another long silence. Mahiru half expected Kuro to change the subject or badly pretend to be asleep, but after what felt like forever he sighed and lifted his head, an oddly gentle look in his eyes.  
  
"That's a long story," he said. "I can't talk about it right now. But someday I'm gonna tell you everything, promise."  
  
Mahiru gave a small gasp, his heartbeat stumbling in his chest as he stared at Kuro's kind-hearted red eyes, unsure if he had heard him right. "R-Really?"  
  
"Yeah... it's not like I can hide stuff from you forever, anyway." Kuro rested his head on the cushion again. "We just saw where that stuff can go. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru nodded slowly, thoughts and feelings still tumbling in every direction in his head. His heart was still beating faster. Kuro no longer wanted to hide his past, he thought. Kuro, the same Kuro who had once shut down and glared at anyone who had thrown the slightest hint at his life before high school, the same Kuro who had looked like he wanted to murder anyone who brought it up in front of Mahiru, had promised to tell him everything, someday. He had no idea when that someday was. It might be years from now. And yet it was a promise, an assurance that someday, eventually, Kuro would trust Mahiru enough to open up to him completely.  
  
Had it really been Sakuya who had made him come to that decision? If so, then Mahiru should probably thank his old friend. As much as he had messed up, he had succeeded in strengthening the bond without Mahiru and Kuro without even intending to. In some odd, ironic way, he had succeeded at helping Mahiru even after declaring himself his enemy.  
  
Well, not entirely his enemy. He had still helped him find Kuro. And Mahiru couldn't help feeling like there was something, or someone, that had changed his mind a little.  
  
"You know," he said quietly, "as bad as this whole Sakuya situation is, I think it's thanks to you that it didn't get worse."  
  
Kuro flinched for a second, then he buried his face in the cushion again with a groan. "Oh great, here comes your cheesy stuff again. Can't deal..."  
  
"Hey, I mean it!" Mahiru gave his shoulder a nudge. "You talked to Sakuya. And then Sakuya somehow found out I was still looking for you and texted me about you. So even if he ran away, thinking simply you did make an impression on him, right?"  
  
Kuro made an unintelligible sound. His ears were suspiciously red.  
  
"So," Mahiru added with a gentle smile on his face, "thanks, Kuro. You gave me a better feeling about trying to figure stuff out with Sakuya. I think if I try to talk to him now, I can actually reach him."  
  
Kuro made a small noise that sounded faintly like, "Can't deal."  
  
 _Typical,_  Mahiru thought without being able to hide an exasperated smile. "What? I mean it, Kuro! You were still stupid to run out like this, but without you I would–"  
  
Emerging from the cushion came loud and audibly fake snores.  
  
Planting his hands on his hips, Mahiru huffed in exasperation, resisting the urge to nudge Kuro out of his embarrassed pretend sleep. Then he sighed. If he was embarrassed about all this, no big deal. He had already reached out of his shell so many times today, done the impossible over and over; there was no need to pressure him to do or endure even more. Besides, it was late. They should probably both go to sleep for real, it had to be way past midnight already.  
  
"Kuro?" he asked softly over the snores. "Are you planning to sleep here tonight?"  
  
The snores stopped. "I guess..."  
  
"You can go back to your room now, you know." Mahiru shrugged. "Uncle Tooru left again, in case you don't remember."  
  
Groaning, Kuro shifted and rolled over on his side, propping himself up on his elbows and slowly inching up, constantly trying to make sure he could sit up straight without his head spinning again. Mahiru extended a hand to help him up, but Kuro shook his head, winced slightly, and stood up on his feet, looking a little shaky and exhausted but otherwise fine.  
  
"I do remember," he said. "I remember everything from when you found me."  
  
"Oh, you do? You were half passed out when we got here!"  
  
"I wasn't passed out, I was tired. Kinda wanted to take a nap."  
  
"Liar! You were totally dazed, geez!"  
  
"Sleepy."  
  
"Dazed!"  
  
Kuro yawned.  
  
"Whatever," he muttered and padded towards the door, picking up his empty cup and a half-emptied water bottle along the way. "I'm gonna go sleep. Night, Mahiru."  
  
"Good night, Kuro."  
  
Kuro disappeared in his room and closed the door, and Mahiru stood in front of it for another moment before turning away and going to sleep.  
  
\---  
  
Neither Tsubaki nor any of the others even looked up as Sakuya stepped inside, pulling his keys out of the keyhole and shutting the door behind him. "I'm home," he muttered listlessly, more out of obligation than anything else. He really didn't want to loudly announce his presence right now. In fact, he didn't want to talk to anyone.  
  
"Oh, Sakuya, there you are," Tsubaki said with an air of relief, but without bothering to interrupt the game of mahjong. "We've been waiting for you."  
  
Sakuya shrugged and half considered not answering at all as he toed off his shoes and hung up his jacket, quickly checking his reflection in the mirror to make sure his eyes didn't look red or swollen anymore. "Thanks," he muttered reluctantly, "I guess."  
  
Berukia shouted something just as Otogiri interrupted him, and he gave an outstandingly high-pitched shriek for a high school boy and started yelling at Otogiri instead. Sakuya didn't pay attention. He just passed the table and headed straight for his room, hoping the others would be too busy with the game to bother him for some time.  
  
"And I win!" Tsubaki declared cheerily, making Berukia and Otogiri stop arguing. "Would you like to join us for the next round, Sakuya?"  
  
Sakuya didn't turn around in the door. "No, thank you."  
  
He didn't have to see Tsubaki's face or hear his reply to know he was disappointed, but it couldn't be helped. He had stopped crying, but there was still a heavy knot in his chest, too heavy to let him bear any more than the necessary burden of his own company. He really didn't have the motivation or energy to see or hear any human being but himself right now.  
  
Thankfully no one went after him, and Sakuya sat down on the windowsill and stared outside into the never-sleeping city. What time of the night was it, he wondered? Definitely past midnight. Maybe one in the morning, or two, or close to three. He had lost all sense of time tonight. Truth be told, he didn't care. He hadn't slept properly in half a week. Maybe he'd die from sleep deprivation, he thought idly. He wondered how painful that would be. Would he just pass out somewhere and his heart would stop? Would he have to suffer a lot? He wondered if he was already dying and just didn't realize it because his mind was so preoccupied with other things.  
  
He wondered where Mahiru was, what he was doing. He hadn't texted Sakuya again, whatever that meant. Probably it meant that he had no further questions, that he had found Kuro and they had safely returned to his apartment and gone to sleep, just like he should. But maybe, he thought, maybe it meant the opposite. Maybe the fact that Mahiru had yet to tell him anything meant that he was still out there, looking for Kuro, roaming through the dark streets and wondering where he was, if there was any point to this, if Sakuya had sent him to the wrong place on purpose. Maybe Kuro had disappeared again, and Mahiru didn't trust Sakuya's text enough to ask him if he was truly sure he really had the right spot.  
  
Should he really have left when he did? Should he really not have followed him to make sure he really did make it home safe, like he had intended to from the beginning? Why hadn't he done that? What had he run off for? He should never–  
  
But he couldn't help it, he thought bitterly. He had never meant to text Mahiru at all, and after seeing his reply, seeing how much he still trusted his message, Sakuya had been overwhelmed with emotions. Guilt, shame, gratitude, regret had flooded into him all at once, crushing his chest and tearing his heart to pieces, and he hadn't been able to look at Mahiru for another second. He had to look away, get away. Otherwise the feelings might have been too much. Otherwise... there was no knowing what else he might have done.  
  
Had cutting Mahiru off not been the right decision after all? Should he have stayed with him, even if he didn't know how that was supposed to work?  
  
Should he not have cared that they were enemies now, maybe?  
  
But what should he have done? How should he have done it? It would have come out sooner or later. How should he have dealt with it then? Should he have tried to stay out of it as long as Mahiru was involved, even if it meant endangering him or Tsubaki? Should he have tried to protect Mahiru from this war? But how could he have done that if Mahiru was the one leading the rebuilt Servamps, when he was the one at the head of it all? Should he have tried to find a peaceful resolution for this mess? But how? He didn't even know–  
  
He didn't even know... what exactly had happened between Tsubaki and the Servamps.  
  
Sakuya blinked, staring into his semi-transparent reflection in the window. It was true, he realized. In all those years Tsubaki had never told him why he hated the Servamps so much, why he wanted them all incapacitated and unable to fight, at the very least. No, he had never told anyone. Back when he arrived at this house Tsubaki had already been in the process of building his own gang, speaking little of his time with the Servamps and never going beyond vague hints. Sakuya wondered if any of the others had been around long enough to know what had happened. Berukia perhaps, or Higan. He didn't like the thought. It was like being locked out of the loop... almost like being lied to again.  
  
Or maybe he just didn't like the idea that someone else might know something so important about Tsubaki and he didn't.  
  
Should he ask him?  
  
Sakuya swallowed hard at the thought. No one, as far as he remembered, had ever asked Tsubaki such a question before, and at this point he was sure Tsubaki wouldn't answer. Perhaps he would start laughing again, or make a bad joke, or brush off the topic and pretend it had never been brought up entirely. Why should he tell him? If he never brought it up, maybe he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe it felt the same way to him that his sister's death felt to Sakuya, a secret too deep and dark and dangerous to ever tell anyone who didn't know already.  
  
Just as he brushed off the idea, there was a soft knock on the door.  
  
"Sakuya?" an all-too-familiar voice called softly into the room. "Are you awake?"  
  
Slowly, hesitantly, Sakuya pushed aside his thoughts, moving out of his daze and back into reality. He opened his mouth to reply, but for a moment no sound came out, and when he coughed and cleared his throat his answer came out raspy. "Tsubaki-san?"  
  
There was the sound of a door sliding open, and a second later Tsubaki's head poked into the room. "So you are awake," he said with wide eyes. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure." Sakuya shrugged; he didn't care either way. It wasn't like he could just go and ask Tsubaki all the questions he had right now, anyway. "It's your house, after all."  
  
"More or less," Tsubaki replied cryptically, but he slid inside, closing the door behind him and stepping into the middle of the room, observing Sakuya from what felt like a safe distance. His eyes caught the lights from outside, looking oddly silvery in the cool, quiet moonlight.  
  
For a moment neither of them spoke. Tsubaki simply stood there with his eyes fixed on Sakuya, his expression unreadable. Sakuya gazed back, waiting for him to say something. Down in the street below a lone car rushed by.  
  
"...Tsubaki-san?" Sakuya asked at last, when the silence became too much to bear. "Why aren't you sleeping?"  
  
Tsubaki snorted and almost burst out laughing, only to quickly clamp a hand over his mouth and stifle his giggles into his palm as tears shot into his eyes. "The others are asleep," he whispered between muffled gasps. "Can't wake them... ah... boring..."  
  
With a deep sigh he stopped laughing, smiling and sitting down on the windowsill next to Sakuya. "I never sleep this early at night," he said with mild surprise in his face. "I thought you knew that, Sakuya."  
  
Sakuya paused. Truth be told, he had never paid attention to when Tsubaki went to bed. By the time he did Sakuya had always been already asleep, and all he and the others knew was that their leader had a penchant for sleeping until noon if they let him. Nobody had ever really thought about Tsubaki possibly staying up until the wee hours of the morning.  
  
"Looks like I didn't," he muttered, feeling almost ashamed to not have known such a basic thing. "There's a lot I don't know about you, Tsubaki-san."  
  
Tsubaki smiled, a strange, cryptic smile that didn't betray the slightest of his emotions. "Just as it should be," he said. "A man has to keep an air of mystery around him, or else he wouldn't be very charming."  
  
Sakuya gave him a blank look, the same one he always used when he wanted to express his exasperation without bothering to use words or troubling the muscles of his face. Thankfully Tsubaki knew him well enough to recognize it by now; he sighed, pouted, and turned serious again. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I couldn't help the joke."  
  
"Of course you couldn't," Sakuya muttered, rolling his eyes. "But... I'm being serious. I know you love inari sushi and everything matcha flavored, you like rainy days and sleeping in, your favorite animals are foxes, you're seventeen years old and born on New Year's Day, you keep changing moods all the time and sometimes pretend to, just to mess with us," Tsubaki looked sheepish, and Sakuya went on, "but you love us all like a family... you're best friends with Berukia, and you've got some history with the Servamps." He threw a glance at Tsubaki's face, unable to keep the slight accusation out of his eyes. "I think that's all I know about you. Not much, is it?"  
  
Tsubaki smiled. "That is a long list though," he said. "You remembered all that about me, Sakuya? I'm moved..."  
  
"It's not much," Sakuya insisted, glad that the darkness hid the tinge of heat on his cheeks. "I know how you live and what you like to do... but I feel like I don't know anything about the person Tsubaki-san."  
  
Tsubaki blinked in what looked like serious confusion. "You see what kind of person I am every day."  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
With a sigh Sakuya rested his head against the cool window, closing his eyes. "I don't know how you got here," he said. "I don't know why you live in this place or where your parents are, why you're staying with Higan-sensei and how he can afford this apartment, I don't know why you started picking all of us up and bringing us here. Most of the time I don't even know what you're thinking. And..." He opened his eyes and looked straight at Tsubaki again. "I don't know why we're fighting this war against the Servamps, Tsubaki-san. You never told me."  
  
He definitely sounded upset now, accusing, his voice bitter as he met Tsubaki's gaze with frustrated eyes. Tsubaki looked back at him in surprise, then a shadow passed over his face, even as he smiled.  
  
"Did it upset you that I never talked about it?" he asked, placing a hand on Sakuya's head and smoothing out a particularly stubborn curl. "I'm sorry, Sakuya."  
  
Sakuya caught his hand, pushing it away from his head. "You're not taking me seriously," he said.  
  
"I am taking you seriously." Another shadow passed over Tsubaki's still-smiling face. "I'm truly sorry. I hope that if I tell you I had good reasons not to explain anything, you will forgive me?"  
  
Sakuya frowned. "Reasons?"  
  
"Yes, reasons." Tsubaki's smile faded into a faintly sad look as he gazed into the distance without seeming to see anything in the room. "You see, it's a sad and dangerous story, Sakuya. And you're my family, and I love all of you. If you knew the whole story you would end up in danger, and I couldn't let that happen to anyone I love, could I?"  
  
A perfectly logical reason, Sakuya thought. He understood it too well. Had he not used the exact same reasoning for never telling Mahiru, Ryuusei and Koyuki about running away and joining Tsubaki? And had Mahiru not–  
  
Had Mahiru not used the same reasoning for never telling him about the Servamps?  
  
Sakuya shoved that thought away. No, Mahiru had betrayed his trust. He didn't have a valid reason for lying in his face like that. And he definitely didn't understand that reason. He should stop trying to think of apologies. That reason wasn't even a reason at all, it was an excuse. An excuse that never did any good, one that had never done anything except cause pain and suffering for everyone involved.  
  
So he narrowed his eyes as he tried to meet Tsubaki's gaze, tried to stare straight into his unfathomable red eyes as he spoke again. "That's not a reason to hide anything."  
  
Tsubaki blinked, his distant gaze refocusing as he turned to look at Sakuya in surprise. "But–"  
  
"No. It's not a reason, Tsubaki-san." What was he doing? Part of him felt terrible, forcing Tsubaki into opening up like that. But the other part of him understood. He finally understood how worthless and dangerous keeping secrets could be. "We're in this war with you, and we're already in danger. How does us knowing or not knowing your story change anything? Except that then we'll know what exactly we're fighting for?"  
  
Tsubaki didn't answer. He simply looked at him with wide eyes, looking baffled and caught.  
  
"Sakuya..."  
  
"It's the truth." Sakuya stared back into the window. "There's no point in hiding anything to protect people. I know that now."  
  
Tsubaki was very quiet. For what felt like an eternity he didn't answer at all, and when he did speak at last, his voice was barely louder than the sound of the cars outside.  
  
"I can't tell you, Sakuya," he said. "There are people looking for everyone who knows the truth, and if one of them caught you I'd never forgive myself. You understand that, don't you?"  
  
Sakuya shook his head. "I don't understand anything!"  
  
"That's good." There was a bitter smile in Tsubaki's voice as he continued. "Don't understand anything, Sakuya. It's better that way. Someday, when this war is over, I'll tell you everything you want to know, but for now you shouldn't have to carry this secret. Leave it all to me."  
  
"What if I don't want to? What if I want to share your burden?"  
  
Sakuya didn't know why he had said that. He didn't know where the feeling had come from, but now that he thought about it it felt perfectly natural. Of course he did. Tsubaki had shared his burden back then, his deadly secret, and he had kept it all these years until he finally swooped in and saved his life. So what if Sakuya wanted to return the favor? He owed Tsubaki everything. His entire existence. The simple fact that he was here, not dead from suicide, either staged or genuine, was all thanks to Tsubaki, and yet Tsubaki still insisted on carrying his weight alone. How was that fair?  
  
He turned around to glare at Tsubaki, only to be met with round, widened eyes. Tsubaki was gazing at him as though he had just witnessed a miracle, his mouth slightly open and his entire face shining, moved, looking exactly the way he always looked before an embarrassing emotional outburst. "Sakuya... do you mean that?"  
  
Sakuya didn't know what possessed him to avert his gaze and awkwardly mutter, "Do you mind?"  
  
It was all he managed to say before he found his hand grabbed and squeezed so tightly he thought it would break all his bones. "Sakuya!" Tsubaki exclaimed, nearly knocking him off the windowsill. "Were you worried about me? I'm sorry, I never meant to make you worry! What can I do to make you stop worrying, Sakuya?"  
  
Well, that one was his own fault, Sakuya thought as he wriggled his hand out of Tsubaki's grasp. He had gone in fully expecting Tsubaki to turn into a full-grown embarrassment again. And since he was already that far, might as well be honest from now too.  
  
"I'm not just worried," he said without looking at him. "I just... think it's unfair that you knew my darkest secret and kept it for years and saved my life over and over and now you're not letting me do the same thing for you."  
  
Tsubaki smiled.  
  
"Maybe I'll let you," he said gently, a subtle edge of knowing sliding into his voice. "But before you burden yourself with that, isn't there something else you need to take care of first?"  
  
\---  
  
"I've got a plan."  
  
Kuro looked up from his breakfast, blinking at Mahiru with his chopsticks hovering in midair. "Already?" he asked around a mouthful of food. "That was fast."  
  
"I wish! I've been thinking about what to do non-stop since yesterday!" Mahiru gave an audible sigh and helped himself to seconds. "And stop talking with your mouth full!"  
  
"Mmmkay..." Kuro finished chewing and gulped down his mouthful. "So, what you gonna do?"  
  
"Ryuusei and Koyuki."  
  
Kuro took a sip from his tea, observing Mahiru with faintly worried skepticism. "You're gonna get to Sakuya through your friends?"  
  
"Sure!" Mahiru said, planting his hands on his hips and grinning. "I mean, he has no problem with them, right? And if they ask him to meet up and don't tell him I'll be around, then thinking simply I can catch him and talk to him face to face!"  
  
Kuro furrowed his brow, pondering the suggestion. He looked not at all pleased with the plan; in fact, he looked more concerned and mildly terrified than anything else, almost as if Mahiru had suggested sneaking into Tsubaki's headquarters instead of arranging a simple meeting between childhood friends.  
  
Mahiru gave an irritated huff. "What?"  
  
"Hmm..." Kuro rested his head on the table, looking at Mahiru's face from below. "I can think of at least fourteen ways this plan could go totally wrong."  
  
"Well, what are they? Spit them out! And what's with that weirdly specific number?"  
  
"Can't deal..."  
  
"Don't evade my questions! I only accept constructive criticism!"  
  
"You're gonna die if you try this."  
  
"That's not constructive criticism!"  
  
"It's true though."  
  
"Well, with that attitude it will be true! Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecies?" Mahiru shot back, gulping down a mouthful of breakfast and chewing. "Unless you come up with a better idea, I'm going through with this. Are you helping me?"  
  
Kuro slumped even lower onto the table, a feat that Mahiru would have deemed impossible. For a second he looked a little like he was about to excuse himself and back out, but Mahiru knew him well enough by now to know he wouldn't have the heart to leave him to his own devices in something like this. And indeed, when he spoke again, his words were steady even as his voice was filled to the brim with tired exasperation.  
  
"What a pain," he muttered into the table. "You always seek out trouble, do ya? Oh well..." He gave a heavy sigh. "'Course I'm gonna help you out. Leaving you alone with this sounds like way too much of a pain."  
  
\---  
  
"Still, I don't understand," Koyuki said for what felt like the third time, his expression growing more worried by the second. "Why can't we tell Sakuya you're here? Did you two have a fight?"  
  
Mahiru squirmed, fully aware that the others could see how uncomfortable he was by now and feeling all the worse for that. "Look, I'll explain later," he repeated, knowing he sounded hollow. "It's kind of personal, I don't think Sakuya would want me to tell you guys..."  
  
"But this is weird! You guys never have a fight!" Ryuusei insisted. "What the hell happened all of a sudden?"  
  
"I'm telling you, I can't–"  
  
"He doesn't wanna tell you," Kuro piped in from the side where he stood leaning against the wall. "Stop nagging him, it's not gonna help."  
  
Mahiru turned around to throw a grateful look in his direction. "Kuro...!"  
  
"What?" Kuro muttered, blushing and stuffing his hands into his pockets as he looked away. "It's true."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance that was half confused, half concerned. Then Ryuusei sighed and threw his head back. "Okay, okay," he said. "We're gonna shut up and just trust you with this whole weirdness. Shut up, Koyuki, we don't got a choice."  
  
Koyuki still looked doubtful, but he closed his mouth, swallowing down whatever protests had still been ready on his tongue. "I guess," he said slowly. "Not that I'm any less worried now..."  
  
"There's literally no reason to! Once you've brought him here, it's all as good as fixed!" Mahiru said with a confidence he didn't have. Damn it, he hated lying to his friends like that. But what choice did he have? If he wanted to talk to Sakuya he needed their help, and they wouldn't help him unless he pretended to be confident about this whole thing and acted like there wasn't a huge underlying problem in this that Sakuya definitely wouldn't want him to talk about. And telling them the truth wasn't an option to begin with. It was bad enough that Sakuya was caught up in this whole war; if he pulled them into this too and put them into danger, he wouldn't be able to bear it.  
  
"Well," Koyuki said as he fidgeted nervously with his hands, "he is on his way, I mean, he should be, he agreed when we texted him yesterday... so we'll see..."  
  
Mahiru nodded. Something inside him tightened as his heart started pounding in his chest. Sakuya was on his way. He would be here soon. They would see each other face to face, at a meeting that he had gone to without expecting to see an enemy, so this time he'd be alone and unarmed. He wouldn't try to fight. And if he didn't, if he just waited and listened, then hopefully they could clear things up between them, fix their issues and work out how to stay friends. They'd just have to talk to each other as people, not as enemies. It was that simple.  
  
He glanced at his watch. Ten more minutes till the scheduled meeting. He wondered how he should greet Sakuya. Maybe it would be better to stay in the background at first, or Sakuya might turn around and try to flee when he saw him... but how soon should he come out? He shouldn't hide, Sakuya didn't seem to trust him in the first place. Just wait till he was inside and then grab him before he could run for it. Thinking simply, that was probably the easiest plan.  
  
Five minutes. His heartbeat was getting faster. Mahiru found himself drumming his fingers on the table of the family restaurant they sat in, playing with the straw of the orange juice he hadn't even touched since getting here. Across from him Kuro was finishing his coke. His mind raced. Was Sakuya really on his way? What if he wasn't? What if he had made a run for it? What if he had caught onto their plan and chosen not to come here after all? Kuro had been right, there were so many ways this could go wrong–  
  
The door swooshed open, and Mahiru almost jumped in his seat before instinctively grabbing a menu and holding it up to cover his face.  
  
Next to him Ryuusei and Koyuki had fallen silent. Kuro had jumped up and hurriedly moved to another table with his coke, facing away from the door and pulling the hood of his jacket low to hide his hair. Mahiru's heartbeat pounded in his ears. If this was Sakuya...  
  
But Ryuusei and Koyuki both gave a disappointed sigh, and Mahiru peeked over his menu to see the newcomers had just been two young parents with their elementary school-aged children, bustling into a free booth and crowding around the table to pore over the menu. He could hear their voices across the restaurant, demanding to have this or that and arguing over who was going to get how much and nagging their parents to buy them a dessert afterwards. It was an oddly normal sound for the situation, out of place somehow, but reassuring all the same. Listening to them kept him grounded somehow, as if they were helping him remember that the world was still moving normally and life was going on as it always had.  
  
Still, where was Sakuya? He had to be late already... or was it just his nervousness that was stretching out this wait to the point of the impossible, making him feel like he had been sitting here for hours when it had just been a few minutes in reality?  
  
At the next table over he could see Kuro tense up, nervously fiddling with the brim of his hood and tugging it lower and lower into his face until it was almost covering his eyes. Suddenly Mahiru wished he wasn't out of reach. If only he could touch him right now, pat his shoulder or squeeze his hand, it would make things so much easier for both of them.  
  
There was another swoosh from the door, and Mahiru instantly disappeared behind the menu again as Ryuusei and Koyuki gave gasps that could only mean one thing.  
  
Sakuya. He was here. He had come after all.  
  
Mahiru ducked even lower as he held his breath, listening to his footsteps approach, a little hesitant and achingly familiar.  _Please don't spot me yet,_  he prayed over and over in his head.  _Don't run away, Sakuya. Not till we've talked._  
  
The footsteps came to a stop, and Mahiru knew Sakuya had to be next to their table now. It was only a matter of seconds before...  
  
"Hi, guys," he said with a cheerfulness that sounded jarring after the last few days' events, unnatural. "What did you call me out here for?"  
  
"Oh, uh..." Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance, wondering what to say. "Actually, it wasn't us who called you here–"  
  
Everything happened in a split second.  
  
Mahiru looked up from behind the menu. His eyes met Sakuya's just as Sakuya gave a gasp of recognition, taking a step back and staring at Mahiru as if hoping that he wasn't real.  
  
"Sakuya," Mahiru began, standing up and starting to scramble past Koyuki to get to him in time. "Listen–"  
  
But before he could finish the sentence, Sakuya had spun around on his heel and was heading for the exit like he had never run before.  
  
Crap. He was getting away. He couldn't get away now! That only left one option...  
  
Mahiru's eyes met with the red ones peering out from underneath Kuro's hood. He didn't need to say anything to know they were both thinking the same thing.  
  
" _Get him, Kuro!_ "


	46. Never Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And for this moment, just a minute, a few breaths, a heartbeat, everything was okay.

Sakuya sprinted through the door before it was fully open, not looking back as he raced out into the street, taking a random turn, stumbling through the passers-by as they jumped aside in startled surprise. He didn't care where he was going. He didn't care how many people he knocked over. The only thing on his mind were two words, repeating over and over in an endless loop.  _Get away._  
  
Mahiru. Mahiru. Why was Mahiru there? He shouldn't have been there. And yet he had recognized that face, the brown eyes that had met his own over the table, honest and straightforward. Why? Why hadn't he spotted him at once? Why hadn't Ryuusei and Koyuki told him he was coming too? Had they taken it for granted that he knew? Or... had they hidden it from him to make him show up? He must have walked straight into a trap... Why, why, why?  
  
_Get him, Kuro!_  
  
The words were still ringing in his ears, the voice that shouted them so unmistakably Mahiru's, a final proof that all of this was real and not just some screwed-up dream that he would wake up from drenched in sweat and breathless but unharmed. He strained his ears, listening back for footsteps. If he had heard the voice right, if Kuro was still chasing after him he might catch up to him soon, he was faster than Sakuya after all, taller, stronger–  
  
_I'm dead. I'm finished._  
  
He had walked into a trap. Mahiru and Kuro had trapped him, and Ryuusei and Koyuki had helped lure him in. So they had chosen their sides too. They had betrayed him just like Mahiru had, lured him into this under the pretense of friendship even though their motives were something else entirely. How much did they know? How had they found out? Had Mahiru told them? He didn't know. He didn't care. All he knew right now, all he cared about was that if Kuro caught up to him, he was done for.  
  
A hand reached out to grab his arm, missing him by inches. Sakuya swerved to the side, ducked and leaped into a side street, running blindly along the sidewalk, still listening for the footsteps behind. If only he could find an open door, a window to jump in, anything–  
  
Sakuya stopped dead. The road came to a rapid end in front of him. The only things ahead and to either side of him were tall, unsurmountable buildings.  
  
A dead end.  
  
Sakuya looked from side to side, his breath coming in frantic gasps. He was caught. He was trapped. There was no way back except past Kuro. He hadn't brought his knife. His eyes flitted up the buildings, searching for places to scale them, places to climb... he couldn't use one arm but he had to try it, even if it broke his neck too, he was already dead anyway–  
  
But before he could move another inch, two hands grabbed his arms and held him in place with an iron grip. "Gotcha."  
  
Sakuya's heart stopped beating for a second. Then his body reacted. With a furious leap he tore forward, trying to get Kuro off balance so that he tripped and let go of his arms, but the grip on him only tightened, yanking him up to his feet and back into place. Sakuya kicked at Kuro's shins, but the heels of his feet missed. He tried to spin around, but Kuro's hands were clutching him like iron, leaving him unable to move an inch.  
  
If only he had his knife. If only he had any weapon... but with the way Kuro was gripping him, he wouldn't even be able to reach into his pocket and pull it out, and his arm, his left arm was still in a cast, immobile and broken... he wouldn't stand a chance...  
  
"Let go," he hissed feebly, struggling against the hold. "Let... go..."  
  
"Mahiru!" Kuro called over his desperate voice. "I got him, hurry up!"  
  
Sakuya struggled even harder. Not Mahiru, he thought. Not Mahiru. He didn't want to face him. He didn't want to see him. He didn't want to look into his eyes or hear his voice. He didn't want him to know he was here, talk to him, if he was even interested in talking to him at all... he couldn't bear it... not Mahiru... please...  
  
"Sakuya!"  
  
Everything in his chest turned to ice. His entire body froze over. Even breathing seemed painful, as if every breath of air that entered his lungs was lined with tiny knives.  
  
"Please," he whispered through gritted teeth, frantically tearing at Kuro's hold. "Let me go, I can't talk to him..."  
  
But Kuro ignored him. Behind his back footsteps came hurrying up the street, light and fast and painfully familiar, the same sound he still remembered from the happy times in middle school when he had walked Mahiru home after he practiced with the track and field club.  
  
_Please, I don't want to see him. I don't want to hear this. Somebody kill me._  
  
He was already dead anyway, he thought. If they wanted to repay him for the other night, they might as well get it done now. He didn't care. The only thing he cared about was having to face this, this voice, these footsteps, these eyes looking at him as he stood there, unable to run and unable to hide.  
  
Why did they have to torture him like this? Why couldn't they just do whatever they had come here for and be done with it? He didn't want this... any of this... he didn't...  
  
"Hey, Sakuya."  
  
_No._  
  
He didn't see anything. He didn't hear anything. He tried to think of something else, someone else...  _Think of Tsubaki-san,_  he told himself... he tried to recall his face, his voice, the image of the little boy next to him on the swing that had kept him sane and alive for all these years... it had always worked. It would work now too, it had to...  
  
"Sakuya, listen to me! Stop squeezing your eyes shut! Sakuya, are you listening?"  
  
Sakuya didn't answer. For a moment the world was perfectly silent, so silent that he could hear Mahiru's agitated breath and his own heartbeat throbbing loudly in his ears.  
  
It was no use. The mental image of Tsubaki couldn't distract him. Not when Mahiru was standing in front of him, addressing him directly in that honest voice of his, too close and too loud and too real. He couldn't block him out. It was impossible.  
  
"Sakuya," Mahiru went on, and his voice was accusing now, quieter but more frustrated. "What have you been running away for? I've–" He paused and corrected himself. "We've been trying to find you for ages!"  
  
And that wasn't right.  
  
Sakuya didn't remember the last time he had felt something so strongly, sensed that it was wrong with every single fiber of his being. "Listen?" he repeated, opening his eyes and raising his head but not looking at Mahiru yet, staring stubbornly in the other direction. "Trying to find me? Mahiru, are you crazy? I tried to kill you and your friend–"  
  
"You liar!"  
  
Sakuya froze. Without meaning to he turned around, staring directly into Mahiru's eyes.  
  
"Don't think you can trick me! I saw!" Mahiru shouted at him, his hands balled up into stubborn fists, his eyes staring directly into Sakuya's soul. "I don't remember everything because I got knocked out... but this memory is clear! You jumped in front of me to protect me from Berukia and Otogiri, didn't you?"  
  
Sakuya's heart stumbled and skipped a beat. Something pulled painfully at his chest. He was right, he realized... Mahiru was right... he had noticed, he remembered, of course he had...  
  
He hated lies. He hated them more than anything. And yet he was tempted to lie again, tempted to tell Mahiru it hadn't been real, he had imagined it or dreamed it up and Sakuya had never actually thought of taking the bullet for him.  
  
But he wouldn't lie. Not again. There had been enough lies.  
  
"So maybe I did!" he burst out, and it felt like a weight was falling off his shoulders. "So what? Kuro did the same, you would've been safe anyway!"  
  
"Still!"  
  
Mahiru grabbed his collar, yanking him upright in a fierce, stubborn grip. "You jumped in front of me without thinking!" he yelled in his face. "You wanted to protect me! It's the thought that counts, you  _idiot!_ "  
  
Sakuya flinched. Being called an idiot by Mahiru felt like a punch in the face, harder and sharper than any fist against his cheekbones could feel. He was angry at him. He was furious. His former best friend was clutching his shirt in fury, calling him names, and he was doing it for all the wrong reasons.  
  
"But I tried to attack you!" Sakuya shouted back, frustration boiling over inside him even as the panic in him rose. If he couldn't convince Mahiru they were enemies... if he couldn't make him hate him... if Mahiru still wanted to be his friend and make up with him, what should he do?  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth to argue back, but Sakuya didn't let him. "I held a knife to your throat!" he went on, more and more frustrated and more and more frantic. "I threatened you! I cut your friend's face! I sent Berukia and Otogiri on you! Why are you still being so nice to me? I'm your enemy, don't you understand?"  
  
"Like hell you are!"  
  
For a second Mahiru's hands let go of his collar, but Sakuya barely had time to catch his breath before his face was grabbed and squeezed so tightly he felt his features distorting. "You are not my enemy!" he told him, slamming their foreheads together so hard Sakuya saw stars. "You're my friend!"  
  
Something fluttered in Sakuya's chest, surprise, amazement, a spark of hope that shouldn't be there. His eyes went wide, blinking straight into Mahiru's stubborn, determined, perfectly honest face.  
  
Then a stab of pain shot through him, so sharp and acute he caught his breath. Tears stung at the back of his eyes, but he blinked them away. Lowering his head, he swallowed, but he couldn't get rid of the heavy lump knotting up in his throat, the bitter, frustrated pain that seemed to cut deeper and deeper into his heart with every second he spent standing here in front of Mahiru.  
  
"What friend?" he said grimly, tearing at Kuro's grip, trying to free himself and failing once again. "I've been lying to you for years and years! All this time I kept calling you my best friend, and yet I never told you anything. I never trusted you with the truth about me even though I told a complete stranger and–" Cold realization slapped him in the face, and he straightened up with a terrified gasp. "I mean– I mean– I never confided in you even though I said you were my best friend and I'd tell you everything, you barely know who I am! How can you still say I'm your friend after all that?"  
  
Had he said too much? No, he had definitely said too much. Had Mahiru noticed? Had he caught on? Would he ask questions? What should he do, lie again? He could try to tell him the truth... but it would hurt to talk about it again. It would hurt horribly. And how was he supposed to explain everything in a way that would make Mahiru understand he hadn't been hiding his whole story out of malice or distrust? He–  
  
"Hey, Cabbage," said a voice behind his head. "Chill, your head's gonna turn yellow."  
  
Sakuya's head shot up to glare at Kuro as best as he could in his current position. "This is serious–"  
  
"It's okay, Sakuya."  
  
A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder, gentle and undeservedly reassuring. "Don't worry about telling us your story," Mahiru said quietly, close to his ear. "We know. Tsubaki told me."  
  
The answer was so unexpected that Sakuya forgot about his pain for a second. His eyes went wide as saucers as he turned to stare at Mahiru in disbelief and amazement, barely believing his own eyes and ears. "Tsubaki-san... did?"  
  
"Yeah! I understand why you didn't tell me now, don't worry." Mahiru's smile turned sad. "And I could never even be there to help you... all these years, and I had no idea..." His eyes glistened suspiciously with something Sakuya didn't want to see, didn't want to understand. "I'm so sorry, Sakuya."  
  
Another stab of pain shot through Sakuya's chest, less bitter but a thousand times more frustrated, full of guilt and shame and regret. "What are you sorry for?" he burst out. "You had no way of knowing! I hid it! It's all my fault!"  
  
"And I never noticed! Shouldn't I have paid closer attention to my best friend?"  
  
"You paid attention just fine! I'm the one who's been lying to you and keeping you from finding out!"  
  
"Saku–"  
  
"Quit it." Sakuya stared at the ground again, fighting the tears welling up in his eyes once more. "I'm not your friend. I'm just some liar who couldn't be honest with you for all these years."  
  
Mahiru brushed it off with an easy gesture of his hand. "Who cares about that? All our years together have been a lot of fun anyway!"  
  
A pang struck Sakuya's heart from the inside, and suddenly pictures flashed through his mind, half-forgotten memories of himself and Mahiru and Ryuusei and Koyuki goofing around in the sandbox, playing tag in the schoolyard, throwing snowballs at each other, crowding around the table as Koyuki's mom told them stories, playing video games in the dark when they should be sleeping, splashing around on the beach, watching movies, preparing for school festivals, walking home together. There was so much he treasured there, so much he had lost, and for a moment he couldn't help wondering how things would have been if he hadn't gone and chosen Tsubaki. They could have included more people into their group. He and Kuro might have got along eventually, and maybe he would even have befriended Misono, even if he still couldn't see himself not teasing that tiny purple nerd. They could all have gone to the beach the other day, and he would have joined in building that sandcastle, striking the goofiest pose of all as Mahiru took the picture that he had sent to him afterwards. They could all have been happy. Everything would have been so easy.  
  
But those were all only fond memories of a life that could never have been.  
  
"I know," he said quietly, and he didn't need to hear himself to know his voice was breaking. "I know, Mahiru. I've had a lot of fun too. But..." He pulled at Kuro's grip again, and this time Kuro let him go, allowing him to stumble out and hurry to the next building, trying to launch himself up along the wall with one arm while keeping his injured one out of the way. "I'm not like you. I can't live with you. So please... let me go–"  
  
His hold slipped. For a moment Sakuya stared blankly at the wall in front of him, watching it move further and further away, not registering what was happening. Then he turned in midair, and a second later he found himself roughly crashing into two pairs of arms, taking two figures downwards with him and burying them underneath him as they all tumbled to the ground.  
  
Sakuya blinked. For a second he had no idea what was going on or where he was. Then something groaned underneath him, and he hurriedly sat up seconds before a furious voice reached his ears.  
  
"Sakuya, you idiot!" Mahiru yelled in his face, sounding like a shocked and completely infuriated mother. "What were you thinking, climbing up that wall with one of your arms in a cast? You could've died! Did you not realize how stupid and dangerous that was? If Kuro and I hadn't been here–"  
  
It was strange. It was completely jarring and out of place, but for some reason watching Mahiru huff and yell at him in full scolding mother mode made Sakuya's chest feel light. So light that, without fully understanding how or why, Sakuya started to laugh.  
  
"Hey!" Mahiru burst out, hitting him over the head. "What's so funny, geez?"  
  
Sakuya tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't stop laughing. It was odd, but in the middle of all this mess Mahiru's scolding felt so normal, so familiar that he felt like deep down nothing had changed at all, and for a moment he couldn't help feeling like nothing had ever happened between them and they were still best friends, one scolding the other for doing something reckless.  
  
"Sorry," he giggled, wiping tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes even as Mahiru gave him another sharp glare. "I don't know... it's just..." He gave a small lighthearted sigh. "You're impossible."  
  
"That's true," Kuro remarked from the side.  
  
Mahiru looked back and forth between them, planting his hands on his hips and giving a furious huff. "Hey, don't gang up on me! What do you mean, I'm impossible? I won't hear that from the guy who passed out from dehydration in the streets and the guy who just tried to climb a wall with a broken arm! If anything it's you two–"  
  
Sakuya laughed even harder, and Mahiru's expression grew wobbly. The scowl on his face became more and more forced, and then suddenly it cracked and he started grinning, only to join Sakuya in his laughter, plopping down on the ground and steadying himself with a hand on Sakuya's shoulder as their cheerful voices mingled into a chorus that echoed brightly off the surrounding walls.  
  
And for this moment, just a minute, a few breaths, a heartbeat, everything was okay. They had never kept any secrets. They had never fallen out. They had never discovered they were fighting for opposing sides. They were just Shirota Mahiru and Watanuki Sakuya, best friends since their childhood. Just for a short moment, all the fond memories that would never come to pass were reality, here and now, not just a distant dream of what could have been if everything had turned out differently.  
  
But... even now it was only a dream. A fleeting illusion, no matter how real and tangible it seemed in this precious, happy moment.  
  
Sakuya's mirth and joy died in his throat. His laughter turned choked, his smile slipped, and before he knew what was happening tears welled up in his eyes, and his giggles turned into sobs as he sat there, staring at the ground, less than a touch away from his first and closest friend and yet all alone in the world.  
  
This moment had been so precious, so beautiful. More than anything in the world he wished that it could stay forever, just the two of them sitting here and laughing like old times, no lies, no gang wars to break them apart. And yet that one wish, that simple request was already asking too much. He couldn't stay friends with Mahiru. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much they both wanted to. It wasn't possible.  
  
He could feel Mahiru's eyes on him without having to look, warm and concerned, and it only made him cry even more. It wasn't fair, he thought. It wasn't fair that he had found such a friend, such a kind, wonderful, caring human being, and the world couldn't simply let them stay together. He didn't want this. It wasn't right! Why would the world throw someone like this his way only to take him away again in the most unnecessarily cruel way possible?  
  
"I'm sorry, Mahiru," he said through his sobs, wiping his eyes and swallowing the tears that tried to keep welling up. "I'm grateful to you, really. And I wish we could keep laughing like this forever, but..." He swallowed hard and stood up. "We can't. Because there's someone else who's very important to me, and..." The mental image of Tsubaki appeared in front of his eyes, sitting next to him on the swing, promising to rescue him, snatching him off the way home out of nowhere, leading him to his house and giving him a place to call home and people to belong with, and suddenly the decision felt a little easier. "He's the only one who never lied to me, and I owe him my life. He never betrayed me. So whatever happens, I can't betray him."  
  
Mahiru opened his mouth, then he closed it again and gave a small sigh. "Okay."  
  
"Okay?" Sakuya repeated, whipping around to glare at him in shock and horror. "Do you realize what that means? I can't betray Tsubaki no matter what! So even if he ordered me to hurt somebody... or... or kill somebody, I–"  
  
"Then I'll stop him!"  
  
Sakuya froze. Everything he had wanted to say got stuck in his throat as he stared blankly at Mahiru's fiercely determined face, his eyes growing wider and wider in complete disbelief.  
  
"Don't look at me like that!" Mahiru shouted, straightening himself with a presence that somehow made Sakuya feel like he was looking up at him even though Mahiru was shorter. "I'll do it! Because the ones who can do it are, thinking simply, Kuro and me! Now you don't just have Tsubaki but everyone else fighting for you too! You're not alone with your worries anymore, okay?"  
  
He... wasn't alone.  
  
Mahiru knew the truth, and Mahiru accepted him. Mahiru supported him just the way Tsubaki had. Even though they were enemies. Even though they were fighting for entirely different sides. Mahiru would do his best to keep him from hurting himself and others, even when he himself couldn't do anything alone.  
  
That sounded too good to be true.  
  
"Mahiru..." he said slowly, his voice shaking with fear and hope and anxious desperation. "You're not lying to me, are you?"  
  
Mahiru's eyes went wide. "I–"  
  
"I want to believe you," Sakuya went on, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth to keep his voice from cracking even as he looked back up, and a smile made its way onto his face. "Mahiru... thank you. That's enough for now."  
  
"Enough... for now?" Mahiru repeated, as if slowly catching up with what he said, what he meant. "Hey, wai–"  
  
"I'm happy... but right now we really can't be together." Sakuya slipped out of Mahiru and Kuro's reach before they could hold him back, starting to hurry along the street towards the main road. "Goodbye, Mahiru. Take care."  
  
"Saku–"  
  
Sakuya didn't wait for Mahiru to finish. He didn't look around to see if Kuro was going after him either. He just turned and started to run, heading straight for the main road, not slowing down, his eyes locked firmly on his escape and freedom. This time it was goodbye for real. He had made up with Mahiru. Mahiru had reassured him. At the moment that was all he could ask for. Anything beyond that, and he wouldn't have had the heart to cut ties with him again, and then he would have been doomed, condemning himself to struggling between his loyalties until something finally put them to the test. He needed to go now, or he'd never manage to leave.  
  
Mahiru's voice rang after him, shouting something he didn't catch. It sounded distant now, a faint memory of a past he had long left behind, a dream that had come back years after the first time he saw it. Something flickered up in his head at the sound as he kept on running, something he hadn't even thought he could remember at all.  
  
When he was three years old, one afternoon he grew tired of sitting at home with his sister and persuaded her to take him to the playground while their parents were working. Not that he wanted to play with anyone in particular. He had just wanted to sit there and watch the other kids, to observe them and kill time.  
  
For some time he sat quietly under a tree, unnoticed by the children running and jumping and climbing past him. Voices mingled into an ever-changing background noise, making little sense as he spaced out into his own thoughts, letting his eyes follow the other kids without bothering to look at their faces. This was nice. This would probably be a little lonely for most people, but to him it was much company as he could handle. He had never been surrounded by so many people before, not as far as he could remember. That alone was exciting enough for the time being.  
  
Sakuya didn't know how long he had been sitting there under that tree when suddenly a shadow fell over him and a voice rang over the background noise, pushing it out of Sakuya's ears with a clear, direct and very present question. A question that could only be directed at him.  
  
"Hey, what's your name?"  
  
Sakuya didn't know why, but something in that voice had made him look up. Something in the tone, the way the question was asked had reached through the daze and the thoughts, making him forget his unwillingness to interact with anyone and glance up at the boy who had spoken to him.  
  
Brown eyes looked down at him, wide and curious and friendly and warm, warmer than anything he had ever seen in his life. His face was round and kind, welcoming somehow, and even though he had never seen this boy before in his life Sakuya couldn't stop the thought shooting through his head.  
_  
Yeah, I want to be friends with him._  
  
"I'm... Sakuya," he said awkwardly, avoiding the boy's eyes more out of habit than anything else. "Watanuki Sakuya. And... And you?"  
  
The boy smiled brightly; apparently he didn't mind Sakuya's awkwardness at all, because he looked excited, even happy to have learned his name. "I'm Shirota Mahiru!" he said in that honest, welcoming voice before pointing at a pair of boys behind him. "And those two are Ryuusei and Koyuki. Do you want to play soccer with us? Two against two? We need one more for that!"  
  
And despite himself, despite his unwillingness to socialize and his fear of talking to strangers, Sakuya found himself standing up with an awkward nod and walking out onto the playground.  
  
Sakuya blinked. Why was he remembering that now? He had never thought much about his first meeting with Mahiru before. Why now of all times?  
  
Maybe it was the realization, he thought. Maybe he had suddenly understood that even after all these years, Mahiru had always been the same. Reaching out to him. Extending his hand. Over and over.  
  
_Thank you, Mahiru,_  he thought as new tears shot into his eyes, spilling over his lashes and running down his face.  _Thanks for becoming my friend. Thank you for extending your hand to me.  
  
So many times._  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru gazed after Sakuya without moving an inch, not knowing what to say or how to stop him.  
  
He should probably try, he thought. He didn't feel like he had said enough, done enough. He still didn't believe that Sakuya had to turn his back on him. He was still convinced they could stay friends even in the face of this impeding gang war, and he wanted to convince Sakuya too. Prove to him that thinking simply, there was no reason for them to part ways because of this if they both wanted to stay together. And yet now that he still had the chance to run out and do all that, he didn't move an inch.  
  
"Want me to drag him back?"  
  
Kuro's voice snapped Mahiru out of his trance. Blinking, he tore his gaze away from Sakuya's retreating form to look up at his friend, who was pointing over his shoulder in Sakuya's direction. "I can still catch him, ya know."  
  
Yes, Mahiru thought, he supposed Kuro could. He had caught him just fine earlier, after all. There was no faster runner than Kuro around after all, especially when he got over his laziness and actually tried. And Kuro had been willingly trying a lot more lately. To think that someday he'd offer to do something this exhausting for Mahiru's sake... that thought brought a smile to his face, even in this situation.  
  
And yet...  
  
"Leave him," Mahiru said, surprising even himself. "If he doesn't want to stay friends for now, I can't force him."  
  
Kuro paused. "You sure? He's your best friend..."  
  
"I know. That's why I won't pressure him." Mahiru smiled, his own thoughts becoming clear to him as he spoke them out, the confusing feelings finally taking shape in his head. "I can't force my own best friend into something he doesn't want, right? If he feels better just staying with Tsubaki for now, it's fine. I trust him not to stab me in the back."  
  
"Mahiru..."  
  
Kuro's eyes were clouded with worry, so concerned and sympathetic Mahiru couldn't help giving a snort. "Hey, don't look at me like that! It's really fine, it's not like I'm gonna be all alone now that he's gone!" He gave a slight huff, and Kuro turned pink and hid his face with a quiet mumble. "Besides," Mahiru added with a quiet smile on his face, "it's not like I don't know how he feels. The whole loyalty for Tsubaki, I mean." Uncle Tooru's face flashed through his mind, smiling warmly as he extended a large, reassuring hand. "I also have somebody like that... somebody I owe my life to, somebody I can't betray. I can't stop him from doing the same thing I do, right?"  
  
Kuro still didn't look convinced, but he shrugged, giving Mahiru a sigh that was half good-natured, half exasperated. "If you say so," he muttered. "Don't complain to me if you miss your bestie."  
  
"Like hell I will! And you know it!" Mahiru socked him in the ribcage, making him give a protesting yelp and a whine. "Right now I did everything I could to keep our friendship on my side, thinking simply I have no right to go any further than this! And–" his expression softened, and before he knew what he was doing he had placed a hand on Kuro's arm, touching it gently without doing anything– "it's not like I'll be lonely. I still have you, you know?"  
  
"...can't deal."  
  
Kuro's cheeks turned even pinker, and Mahiru laughed. Of course he still had Kuro. And Kuro wasn't going anywhere, he had promised him not to, and Mahiru trusted him to keep that promise. After all, Kuro had never left him alone except to help him. That was the kind of person Kuro was. The boy he loved.  
  
Together they could do anything. He knew that. As long as Kuro was by his side he had nothing to fear.  
  
A sudden bout of courage seized him, and he straightened up to look head-on into Kuro's eyes. "Kuro!" he shouted, and his friend blinked and stepped back at the resolve in his tone. "I want to get even stronger with you, okay? For real this time!"  
  
Kuro looked a little frightened and faintly intimidated, but he said nothing.  
  
"Let's grow into a real team," Mahiru went on, bumping a fist against Kuro's chest. "You and I, and all the others too. And then we're going to stop Tsubaki from whatever he wants, just like we promised! Deal?"  
  
For another moment Kuro didn't answer. He only continued to look at Mahiru with wide eyes, part afraid, part incredulous, more than a little unwilling and the slightest bit happy.  
  
"Can't deal," he mumbled at last, and Mahiru sighed. "But..." He turned his head away and lightly tapped Mahiru's chest with his fist. "Okay. Deal."  
  
"Great!" Mahiru grinned, resisting the spontaneous urge to tackle him with a hug. "Now let's get working! Mikuni-san and Jeje-san saved us the last time, but we can't always count on them being here, right?"  
  
He paused. Something clicked in his head, something he had been too occupied to think of before.  
  
"Wait a minute," he said, staring confusedly into the distance. "Mikuni-san and Jeje-san... why were they even there in the first place?"  
  
\---  
  
"Oh, it's over already," Mikuni remarked, adjusting his hat and straightening up as he watched Sakuya walk off, smiling with tears on his face, neither Kuro nor Mahiru making an effort to follow him. "That was fast. Looks like there was nothing for us to do here after all, was there, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje replied nothing, simply opting to stand up and glance back and forth between Mahiru and Sakuya, careful not to get spotted. "They made up," he mumbled.  
  
"Yes, surprisingly fast. Too bad... and here I thought you'd have to pull out your gun again and cause a panic in broad daylight after they went at each other's throats." Mikuni sighed with that Cheshire Cat-like grin on his face that never betrayed what he was thinking. "Maybe next time we could try stepping in and spicing things up a little. Say what you will, but I still don't like this Melancholy getting away."  
  
Jeje stared at him through the holes in his paper bags. "Your brother would have killed you."  
  
"I know, Jeje, I know!" Mikuni said with a laugh. "Did you really think I forgot what my baby brother told me? Jeje, you're so stupi– no, not the gun! Come on, someday you'll end up shooting me for real!"  
  
"Good riddance," Jeje muttered under his breath.  
  
Mikuni laughed again. "Sometimes I almost think you might be serious about that, you know. Your acting's improved." He dodged a well-aimed slap Jeje threw at him. "Come on, don't be so violent! Aren't you happy our job went over so well? All's well as ends well!"  
  
Jeje was about to make another deadpan remark when he caught sight of Mikuni's face and paused. Something about his employer's expression seemed strange. And not in the usual unreadable, thoroughly insufferable trickster way, or the doll fanatic way, or even the irritatingly rich hipster way. It would have slipped past anyone who didn't know him as well as Jeje did, but for a moment, barely more than a heartbeat, something else had passed over Mikuni's face, something that didn't fit his usual demeanor at all. A shadow of... feeling. Emotion. Even if the illusion was too fleeting to clearly determine what kind of emotion.  
  
"Another pair of people that made up," Jeje said quietly, still observing Mikuni's face.  
  
For a split second another emotion passed over Mikuni's face, even more fleeting and indeterminable than the first. Then his expression bounced back, and he looked back at Jeje with the usual mischievous twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"Yes," he said, "it's quite amazing. To think that my own baby brother would end up contacting me like this! He's grown so much..." He put on a mock-wistful face, even though Jeje could tell that his happiness was genuine. "His suggestion to monitor that Watanuki boy was spot-on! Truly following in his brother's footsteps, isn't he? You know, maybe I really should follow his invitation and go back home– I mean, to my old house again."  
  
Jeje raised an eyebrow, even though he knew Mikuni couldn't see it through the paper bags. The slip-up hadn't escaped him. A glint of amusement sparked in his mind, along with a twinkle of friendly affection. Moments like this one reminded him that even Mikuni was still human after all.  
  
"You can go," he remarked. "No one's stopping you."  
  
"Of course not, but I'm in no hurry. Seeing them all again and being told over and over how much I've grown sounds like such a hassle, doesn't it, Abel?" He pulled the doll from where it had been sitting in one of his pockets. It looked as expressionless as ever, but apparently Mikuni had seen something in its face that confirmed his opinion, because he grinned. "Yes, I know. We've had enough tearful reconciliations for the year, not that I shed any tears, but watching people cry is only fun if I'm the one who upset them."  
  
Jeje gave him a blank stare.  
  
"You're running away," he observed.  
  
Mikuni stopped in his tracks, and for less than a split second he looked surprised, almost caught. Then he burst out laughing, turning up to Jeje with the most amused grin that didn't reach his eyes.  
  
"Jeje, you're incredible!" he shouted, and Jeje could feel the urge to kill this pain in the neck mounting in him again. "Running away from what? My feelings? Is that what you mean? Jeje, I didn't know you were such a romantic!"  
  
Jeje wanted to grab and strangle him, but he didn't. Something about Mikuni's look, his tone made him pause, the annoyance inside him turning into pity. What a pathetic human being, he thought, pretending to have no heart and no feelings, laughing off and mocking any accusation of having emotions instead of admitting them to himself and others, trying and failing to be a closed book, unreadable for everyone but himself. He'd never get anywhere like this. And especially not to the problem that Jeje knew had to be on his mind right now.  
  
"These two," he said, nodding slightly in the direction where Mahiru and Sakuya had stood. "They're on opposite sides and they still made up. It's not impossible."  
  
The effect was immediate. Mikuni stopped laughing, his expression frozen on his face.  
  
"I hope," he said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, "that you're not referring to me."  
  
"You still consider  _him_  a friend." Jeje wasn't fazed. "You care about him."  
  
"Only in your nostalgic little dreams, Jeje."  
  
"Then why are you still trying to save him?"  
  
Mikuni stopped short. The shadow of a caught look flitted over his face. Then he pushed his hat into his face and smiled, the cold, calculating glint of a ruthless chessmaster about to strike glowing quietly in his eyes.  
  
"This was never about Tsurugi-san," he said calmly, his voice as soulless and empty as his gaze. "What happens to him doesn't matter. I've simply still got a bone to pick with Touma-sensei."


	47. A Band of Conspirators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want you to observe this boy."

"Your skills have improved again, haven't they?"  
  
Tsurugi caught his breath, gasping and panting and wiping sweat off his face. Every part of his body was hot with the familiar rush of adrenaline and exhaustion, and he couldn't help grinning as he raised his head to look up at his sparring partner.  
  
"I think so," he said, excited and proud to be praised like this. "But it's all thanks to your training, Tai-chan."  
  
The man in front of him returned his smile with a quirk of his lips, looking him up and down with that strangely sharp gaze of his, as if taking in the tiniest details in his figure, his form, and calculating the exact spots and weaknesses he still needed to work on. "But I only helped you," he said. "This is you who did it. Have some pride, Tsurugi."  
  
Tsurugi beamed.  
  
A towel flew his way, and he instinctively caught it in his hands, starting to wipe his face without taking his eyes away from his guardian. Touma continued to watch him from above, observing him with that look on his face that indicated that he had something else to tell him, important news he was only holding off until Tsurugi was refreshed and changed. Tsurugi quickened his pace, toweling himself dry and slipping out of his training clothes and into the clean set that had been waiting on the bench nearby, eager to hear whatever news Touma had in store.  
  
"Are you done?" Touma asked at last, an obsolete question in light of Tsurugi's appearance, but polite nonetheless. Tsurugi nodded. Touma turned and beckoned him out of the training room and back down the corridor, leading the way up the stairs and into his office, sitting down behind his desk and motioning for Tsurugi to take a chair next to him.  
  
"We have new information," he said. "Our sources have confirmed the exact names of the members of Melancholy and the rebuilt Servamps."  
  
Tsurugi tensed up. He knew what was coming, although he didn't say anything.  
  
"Here are the lists," Touma said, pulling out two unconspicuous pieces of paper filled with scribbly notes that might as well have been grocery lists to anyone who didn't bother to look closer. "Of course we don't have solid proof for all of them yet, so we have to observe them as soon as school starts again. And in particular..." Touma pointed to a name at the top of one of the lists. "I want you to observe this boy."  
  
Tsurugi followed Touma's finger to the name in question. The note read, in barely intelligible scribbles,  _Shirota Mahiru_.  
  
"I've had someone else monitoring him so far," Touma continued, "but that was from a distance. The situation's become more serious over the summer, so you'll take over. Watch him closely. Win his trust. Befriend him if you can. Don't let him and the group make a move without me knowing."  
  
Tsurugi nodded, his eyes still resting on the name on the note. Shirota Mahiru, class 2-B, head of the disciplinary committee despite being only a second-year. He had never interacted much with him, except that one time he and the rest of the student council had tried and failed to detain him in a failed attempt at getting him to cooperate. A hot-headed boy, serious and rule-abiding and too hardworking for his own good. That was his reputation, and that, to his knowledge, was all Shuuhei had ever managed to find out about him, because Shuuhei, he was sure, must have been the one watching him before. He wondered if Mahiru still remembered their run-in in spring. Would he mind? Maybe it would be better to play extra nice.  
  
"And one more thing," Touma added, looking up from the notes to stare straight into Tsurugi's eyes, his gaze narrowing in that focused, intense way it always did when he entrusted Tsurugi with something particularly important. "He's very close to the old leader of the Servamps. Try to keep them apart as much as you can."  
  
\---  
  
"That bastard Tsurugi," Yumikage growled with his phone to his ear, listening to nothing but beeps coming from the speaker. "He's late again, that asshole!"  
  
Jun turned away from the little boy he'd been teaching how to kick a ball to throw his friend a very disapproving glance. "Yumi, for the last time, don't swear in front of the–"  
  
"Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!" Yumikage's scowl intensified as a sound came from his phone, and he pushed the end call button with a furious vigor and a click of his tongue. "Fuc– I mean... fu...dge! Voicemail again, this pain in the... neck isn't picking up his dam– darned phone!"  
  
His face had gone progressively redder as he bit down on all the cursewords at the last second, and Jun couldn't help cracking an amused grin. Yumikage flushed crimson. "Shut up!" he grumbled. "If you tell Tsurugi I'm kicking your a–"  
  
"Don't worry," Jun said before Yumikage could choke on even more bad words. "I'm silent as a grave."  
  
"That's what you said back when you told him about what happened to my pants in seventh grade!"  
  
"To be fair, that secret basically told itself."  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too. Anyway," Jun continued as Yumi fumed, "what do we do about Tsurugi?"  
  
The hot-headed rage on Yumikage's face disappeared, only to be replaced by a whole different kind of anger. His face distorted into an irritated grimace as his grip on his phone tightened, threatening to crush the screen at any second. "I dunno," he said through gritted teeth. "Must've put his phone on silent or lost it again, that useless bastard. Or maybe–"  
  
He paused, stuffing his phone in his pocket before he could really break it in his grip. His hands balled up into furious, white-knuckled, trembling fists. "Jun," he growled. "D'you think it's that guy's fault again?"  
  
Jun didn't have to ask him to know who he meant. There was only one person he could possibly be talking about, and truth be told, he didn't know if he could answer this question. "Maybe," he said. "It's happened before."  
  
"That son of a–"  
  
"Yumi, calm down," Jun said gently but sternly, and Yumikage instantly shut his mouth with a frustrated grumble. "We don't know for sure. Knowing Tsurugi he might as well have overslept or run into some pretty rich girl on the way here. You know he's distracted as soon as he hears the words 'free food'."  
  
Yumikage nodded, but Jun knew him well enough to see he wasn't convinced. Truth be told, Jun himself wasn't either. Even if he was late, Tsurugi would usually drop them a message, saying he had found 100 yen lying on the sidewalk, or a pretty girl had invited him for lunch, or whatever else tended to happen to him on the way. It would contain at least one goofy emoji too many and drive Yumi up the wall, but it would be something. If Tsurugi was late and there was nothing, it was usually the influence of someone else.  
  
 _Someone_  usually meaning Touma Taishi.  
  
Tsurugi rarely spoke about what happened whenever his guardian chose to detain him again for seemingly no reason, but Jun and Yumikage had been around him long enough to put some pieces together. Their friend was a strong fighter, stronger than anyone else they had ever seen and decidedly much too strong for his age. They knew it was Touma-sensei who had trained him, and they knew he had control over him, with Tsurugi being so devoted to him that he listened to his every beck and call; it was not too far off to guess that he was being raised into a teen soldier, even if they didn't know the details of his training and lessons. When they asked, Tsurugi denied it was anything more than a hobby, and said he hadn't fought anyone in several years; but the scars and bruises he sometimes showed up with were fresh, and most of the time they looked too severe to come from sparring battles. But no matter how much Yumikage and Jun asked, Tsurugi would never tell them the truth.  
  
But just as he was about to say something else there was a hurry of footsteps, and a second later a very breathless Tsurugi came bursting right into their midst.  
  
"Jun-chan, Yumi-chan!" he gasped out as soon as his lungs found enough air. "Sorry I'm late, I got held up!"  
  
Jun spun around, his eyes flitting over Tsurugi's entire body in search of any hints where he might have been. At least there were no fresh bruises today, he thought. Tsurugi was only flushed and sweaty, but Jun couldn't tell if that came only from running here or if he had been exercising before leaving the house.  
  
" _Tsurugi!_ " Yumikage yelled, grabbing Tsurugi's shirt before Jun got the chance to open his mouth. "Where the fuck have you been, you useless piece of shit?"  
  
Unfazed, Tsurugi gave a laugh and yanked at Yumi's ponytail, making him shout out in pain and let go of his shirt, using this opportunity to hide behind Jun with a grin. "Nice to see you too, Yumi-chan."  
  
"Nice to see you my ass! You kept us waiting here for twenty fucking minutes, you bastard! Come out from there! Coward! Jun, stop hiding him!" Yumikage lunged at Tsurugi from either side and missed each time. "At least pick up your fucking phone when we call you, asshole! How are we supposed to know when you show your ugly forehead here, huh?"  
  
"Yumi-chan, you're so impatient!" Tsurugi laughed and jumped onto the nearest bench, out of Yumikage's reach again. "Can't you even wait a few minutes if someone shows up late? No wonder you're still sing–"  
  
"I'm gonna kill you, bastard!"  
  
Jun sighed, reached out to grab the back of Yumi's shirt, and easily yanked him back, away from the bench and Tsurugi. "Stop," he said.  
  
Tsurugi looked down at him in a mixture of surprise and gratitude. "Jun-chan–"  
  
"Don't kill him yet," Jun continued as Yumikage struggled against his grip. "Or else we'll never find out why he was late in the first place."  
  
"Jun-chan! I thought you cared..."  
  
"Hey, I was trying to calm this guy down. I couldn't do that with morals."  
  
"I'll kill you too, Jun! Let me go–  _ow!_  What the fu–"  
  
Jun sighed, holding his hand threateningly over Yumi's head, ready to slap him again. "In case you forgot," he said, "there's still kids nearby and they heard every word you said. Are you ready to stop being a bad role model yet or should I hit you again?"  
  
Yumikage gave an unwilling growl, but he stopped struggling. With an infuriated grimace of a scowl on his face he glared down at Tsurugi, who had put up his best innocent smile, so bright and angelic and thoroughly fake Jun couldn't help imagining a cheap plastic halo over his head. Neither of them said anything. Jun sighed.  
  
"We're still waiting, Tsurugi," he said. "Where have you been?"  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
Yumikage narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare."  
  
"How much will you give me if I tell you the story?"  
  
"I knew it,  _you little b–_ "  
  
"Yumi, shut up." Jun hit him lightly over the head again, ignoring Yumikage's protests. "Tsurugi... did you get held up by Touma-sensei again by any chance?"  
  
Everything went silent. Tsurugi's angelic smile wavered in a way that betrayed his answer before he ever said anything. Then his smile came back full force as he put a finger to his lips with a glint of mischief. "Actually," he said, "I can tell you today."  
  
Jun and Yumikage exchanged a glance and looked back at Tsurugi, holding their breaths.  
  
"He gave me a job," he said in a half-whisper, inching even closer to his friends and glancing from side to side to make sure no one was listening. "And he told me to pass your jobs on to you two. There's new information out, and we're supposed to monitor the Servamps and Melancholy as soon as school starts again."  
  
Another moment's silence.  
  
"And?" Jun asked at last, breaking through the quiet. "Did he tell you who we should focus on?"  
  
Tsurugi shook his head. "Nope! He only told me to tell you to check your mails when I've found you."  
  
Sighing, they exchanged another glance, concerned but not outright worried. It was typical of Touma to act with a certain amount of secrecy when it came to important matters, they knew that by now. As a teacher he wasn't allowed to be involved in dealings like this, and he had to keep them under a tight lid. Personally, Jun found this level of secrecy a little exaggerated. Why hide from him and Yumikage what Tsurugi's job was, and why hide his and Yumi's jobs from Tsurugi? They knew each other inside and out anyway. If it wasn't for Touma Taishi, they would have no secrets from each other at all.  
  
Well, no use protesting it. Not for now, at least. A few more months and then they'd be graduating already, and then they could escape. They would all leave for college, and they would take Tsurugi with them, taking him away from Touma-sensei's dubious guidance. Just a little longer. Then this would be over.  
  
Frowning, Jun pulled out his phone and opened the mail flashing all-too-brightly on his screen, as if it had just been waiting for him to look at it. He tapped it open, and sure enough, there it was, short and to the point as always.  
  
 _Keep a close watch on the student who calls himself Snow Lily, pseudonym All of Love. Be careful, he's been injured before and is still weakened. We don't want him to die the same way she did, do we?_  
  
\---  
  
Kuro lifted his head, paused his game and rolled a few feet further, back into the sun where it now fell down on the ground. Warm, pleasant August afternoon rays caressed his skin, and he closed his eyes, just barely stopping himself from purring like a happy, comfortable kitten.  
  
"Look at that," said a voice somewhere above his head. "I never thought I'd ever see the eternal shut-in enjoying the sun! What, did you get used to it on our beach day?"  
  
Giving a slight groan at being interrupted, Kuro shifted on the ground and opened an eye, peering at a pair of bare feet a few steps away. He opened his second eye, and his gaze moved upwards along the legs with the rolled-up pants, the one-size-too-loose tank top, the hands holding bowls of shaved ice, and then up to Mahiru's friendly, amused face. "I like to be warm," he said, yawning. "Can't deal."  
  
"It sure looks like you do. You've been doing nothing except rolling around to follow the sun all day! Geez, aren't you the one who complains about being too hot as soon as the sun comes out?" Mahiru sat down, setting the bowls of shaved ice on the ground next to him. "I mean, it's bearable today, but..."  
  
Kuro rolled onto his back, idly lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "I guess I got used to it again," he said with another yawn. "After that beach and looking for the green emo king this is kinda no big deal."  
  
"You didn't have to go  _that_  far! And for the last time, Sakuya has a name!"  
  
"Ah, right. My bad. Lettuce McCurly."  
  
" _No!_ "  
  
Mahiru made a half-hearted attempt to hit him but let his hand drop with a sigh. "Geez, you're incorrigible," he said, but his voice was less annoyed and more fondly exasperated. "Do you ever call anybody by name?"  
  
"Sure. There's Bastard-chan, Onsen Guy, Angel-chan..." Kuro counted the nicknames on his fingers. "Oh, and the old gang." He stretched. "And you."  
  
"Oh..." Mahiru paused, staring at nothing for a moment as he considered that comment. "That's true... So you only give nicknames to some people and not others, huh?"  
  
Kuro understood the implicit question, but he didn't want to answer. He didn't want to tell Mahiru that he only called people by their names if he respected them, if they were his brothers in arms or if they intimidated him a little or if they were very, very important to him. Mahiru had moved directly from the second category into the last one, and with the way things were going it would only be a matter of time before he would fall into the first one too.  
  
"I give out nicknames when I think of them," he said, stretching his arms. "I haven't thought of one for you yet 'cause you're too simple for everything. You're too boring to nickname."  
  
"Hey! Who's boring?"  
  
"I told ya before. Bland but not bad. Like that shaved ice without syrup." Kuro reached for one of the ice bowls. "You still gonna eat that before it melts?"  
  
Mahiru jumped up. "Oh yeah! Hold on a sec, I'm getting syrup!" He hurried into the kitchen and reappeared with his hands full of bottles a few moments later. "Which one do you want?"  
  
"Coke flavor."  
  
"Don't have that. Here, pick from one of those!"  
  
Kuro sighed, nodded, and reached for the watermelon flavor just as Mahiru reached for strawberry. Their hands collided briefly as they closed around the bottles, and Mahiru grinned just as Kuro gave a sigh, the warmth of Mahiru's hand momentarily lingering on his skin, contrasting against the cold bottle and ice.  
  
For some time they ate in silence, the only sound filling the room the constant crunching of ice. Kuro focused on his own bowl, and next to him Mahiru did the same. Both of them didn't think much about anything, simply sitting there and enjoying the moment, enjoying that it was still summer break and it was warm and they had nothing to do and nowhere to go, a rare chance to laze around and do nothing with no pressure and all the time in the world.  
  
It wouldn't be like that forever, they both knew. Soon enough the break would be over, and school would start again, and with school would start all the problems they had been taking a break from this month. They would see the gang again, but they'd also run into Tsubaki. They would meet Sakuya again, and everyone else at school who might or might not be in league with those two. How long would it be until the next fight happened? How long would it be until the next one was attacked, and what would happen to them? Hyde had been hospitalized. Lily had barely survived. How bad would the next attack be? And who would be hit this time?  
  
Did they really want to take the risk?  
  
If he was to be the next victim, Kuro thought, he wouldn't care much. He had survived a lot after all, and if they injured him in a way that permanently disfigured him or left him unable to fight, who cared. He didn't want to fight anymore anyway, and it would be an effective way of keeping him from hurting anyone ever again. But if they went for someone else... or if they went for Mahiru...  
  
Mahiru. He had to protect Mahiru. As long as he was around, he couldn't think of losing his ability to fight. If something happened to him, and then Mahiru was targeted and he could do nothing to keep him safe, he'd never forgive himself.  
  
But maybe... it would be better if Mahiru improved his own fighting skills too. Just in case.  
  
"Mahiru," he began, putting down his empty bowl of shaved ice just as Mahiru said, "Kuro?"  
  
They both blinked at each other, Kuro surprised, Mahiru cheerfully amused. At last Kuro sighed, making a vague gesture in the direction of Mahiru's face. "You go first."  
  
"No, you go first!" Mahiru replied with a welcoming smile. "What's up?"  
  
Kuro sighed. Bringing up such an important topic felt somewhat weird now, even if he couldn't understand why.  
  
"It's... about fighting," he said after a pause. "I mean, I guess I'm gonna keep defending you and stuff, but if something happens to me or if I'm not around and you need saving like some damsel in distress–"  
  
"Teach me how to fight!"  
  
Kuro blinked, gaping blankly at Mahiru for a good second, processing what he had just said. He had fully expected Mahiru to at least get angry at his teasing insults before agreeing to anything, but not such a direct, open request, demanding exactly the very thing Kuro had just been about to suggest himself.  
  
"Uh... what?"  
  
"Teach me how to fight," Mahiru said like it was the most natural thing in the world. "I've been thinking about it too. I mean, I can't always keep relying on you if another fight breaks out, right? I want to protect people too! So thinking simply, I'll just have to learn how to fight!"  
  
Well, Kuro thought, that had been even easier than he had hoped. Much easier. So easy that he didn't quite know how to go about it.  
  
"O...kay," he said awkwardly. "Uh... so you gotta find somebody to teach ya." Mahiru looked at him with questioning eyes, and Kuro sighed, flopping back down on the floor and rolling over to follow the slightly moved patch of sunlight. "What?" he asked, fully aware that he sounded more than a little defensive. "I suck at teaching. Go find someone else. I think Lily's good at that stuff."  
  
Mahiru continued to look at him, understanding but not fazed in the slightest. "But Lily's been injured," he said. "And you're the strongest fighter we have, right? You used to lead them."  
  
Kuro shifted uncomfortably. "That... was years ago."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You saw me against Tsubaki back in spring. And against your ex-BFF the other day. I'm not that strong anymore." Kuro closed his eyes, swallowing the sentence he followed it up with in his head.  _And I don't wanna be._  
  
"I know," Mahiru said again, his tone still unchanging. "But I don't think it's because you forgot anything. To me it seems more like..." There was a rustle as he lay down on the floor next to Kuro. "Like you're holding back on purpose, you know?"  
  
Kuro froze.  
  
Right on the head.  
  
"I'm... not though," he said in his best pretend-calm voice, frantically searching for some sort of explanation. "I, uh... I just haven't been training since we split up." He gave his arm a half-hearted flex. "See? I got wimpy."  
  
"Like hell you did!" Mahiru grabbed his arm and tried to flex it properly, only to be almost hit in the face. "Then what about your strength at the sports festival, geez? You can't tell me you got wimpy with your jumps, hits and dives!"  
  
Kuro pulled his arm free, shifting a few feet away from Mahiru and out of his reach, groaning slightly as he moved out of the sunlight. "I'm more wimpy than a couple years ago," he tried to lie his way out. "I can't keep up with Tsubaki anymore. I've gotten weaker now."  
  
Mahiru lay down on the ground, gazing at him in silence for a few moments before he finally said, "I don't care."  
  
Something squirmed in Kuro's mind. Anxiousness and dread, mingling with a bizarre sense of anticipation. He knew Mahiru well enough to know exactly what would happen; Mahiru was about to say something incredibly stupid, something cheesy and touching and much too troublesome to deal with. And he hated that even after all this time he was still never ready for it when it happened.  
  
"Maybe one of the others on the team is stronger now," Mahiru continued, and Kuro's heart skipped a beat. The team. Not the gang, the team. That sounded... so good. So inappropriately good, considering that he was referring to the biggest former troublemakers in the city. "But... you're the one I'm always together with anyway. So thinking simply, if you taught me to fight we could get stronger together and... well..." Mahiru's cheeks turned a faint pink. "We could become a team, you know. Fight together, just like Licht and Hyde did that day. What's the word... oh, I've got it!"  
  
Kuro completely forgot about the urge to bury his face in his arms that had been dominating him just a second ago. Right now he couldn't help staring at Mahiru's face, observing his tiniest movements as he met his gaze with brown eyes that looked honey-tinged in the sunlight, smiling a perfectly honest smile.  
  
"Partners."  
  
 _Partners._  
  
Something inside Kuro stirred. A warm, giddy feeling fluttered up in his chest, just slow enough for him to notice, just strong enough to leave the lingering hint of an echo. Part of him tangled up into a knot, but it wasn't painful or even unpleasant. If anything... he was stirred somehow, moved, touched perhaps, for lack of a better word.  
  
Partners... he and Mahiru. A duo. A team. Brothers in arms fighting back to back, defending themselves and each other from anything that life threw their way. A bond that went beyond friends or fellow gang members, a kind of trust that he rarely hoped to find in another human being. An almost psychic connection, and a kind of support that never paused and never wavered as long as the other was in need of it. Perfect equals. That was what  _partners_  meant to him. Even if he had never encountered it in real life.  
  
He wanted to. He wanted to become partners with Mahiru. He wanted to encounter what it meant. He wanted it more than he had ever realized he could want anything.  
  
What was this feeling? It was a pain. And it was embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.  
  
"Partners," Kuro repeated, careful not to betray any emotion. "So corny. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru blushed and whacked him over the head. "Shut up!" he burst out. "What else should I call it? It's what I mean!"  
  
"Cheesy."  
  
"Like hell it's cheesy! Being honest is never cheesy, geez!"  
  
"Pizza's got nothing on you, Mahiru."  
  
"For crying out loud!" Mahiru gave a huff. "If you don't want to team up with me like that, just say so! It's just..." The anger and embarrassment in his face vanished, and he smiled that warm, gentle smile that was so unique to him. "I'd just like to try it, you know?"  
  
There it was again, that strange stirring sensation. A spark of joy tingling somewhere in his heart, light and warm and gentle, so inviting it took all his willpower not to sink into the feeling and let it embrace him completely, forgetting all self-control and getting up and pulling Mahiru into his arms as his eyes turned moist with incredulous gratitude. He was so happy. So, so happy. And moved. And grateful. He was so happy he couldn't believe this was him, this was his reality, his life that had somehow taken him out of the series of neverending dark tunnels into this spot, this moment, one that seemed too good and kind and happy to be part of his life. This was someone else's story, someone else's well-earned happiness. It should be. It couldn't be his.  
  
He... didn't deserve to be this happy.  
  
Kuro flinched. This wasn't true, he tried to tell himself. Or if it was, it didn't matter. Mahiru thought he deserved it, or else he wouldn't have said all that. Mahiru had been making his life happier and happier since the day they met. Even if he thought he didn't deserve it, he couldn't tell Mahiru to start thinking the same. And honestly he didn't want to.  
  
But... but...  
  
Mahiru only knew part of him, he thought. Mahiru only knew the part of him that he wanted people to see, the part that was quiet and awkward and lazy but also harmless, just another lanky teen with a bad past trying to make it through high school without being eaten alive. But that wasn't everything. That wasn't nearly everything. If Mahiru found out about the rest, if Mahiru found out who he really was, what he had done... he wouldn't stay. He couldn't stay. Not someone as good as Mahiru. Someone with Mahiru's moral core and sense of justice was bound to hate him, he was bound to turn on his heel and leave. They were close right now, but Mahiru wasn't close to the real him. The real Kuro wasn't human. He was possessed by demons, demons that were haunting him, chasing him, whispering in his ear and calling his name and making him curl up in fear when he was alone at night, wondering why he was still alive, why anyone pretended to care about him, if anyone would truly miss him if he left and disappeared into thin air. He was a monster, a coward. Not deserving of someone like Mahiru.  
  
Not deserving of... all this.  
 _  
This is a lie. Sooner or later the truth will come out, and Mahiru will hate you. He will abandon you. Just like everyone else did._  
  
It was fine, he tried to tell himself. He had managed with everyone else too. And yet, when he thought about Mahiru staring at him the way everyone else once had, Mahiru turning around and leaving him to never smile at him again, never spend time with him, never speak to him unless it was necessary...  
  
He didn't think he could survive it.  
  
So what was he doing, feeling happy like that? This happiness was a lie. Mahiru would never say anything like this to him if he knew the truth.  
  
And suddenly he didn't even know why he had ever felt happy in the first place.  
  
"That's nice, Mahiru. But..." He rolled over, unsure what to say, what to reply. "I wouldn't say that stuff yet if I were you. There's... too much about me you don't know yet. You're gonna change your mind if you find out."  
  
"We don't know that until you tell me."  
  
Kuro stopped short in the middle of drawing a breath. Part of him couldn't believe what he had just heard. "Wha–"  
  
Mahiru stared back at him, his eyes friendly and honest and his smile kind as ever. Curious. Curious in a way that almost made Kuro want to tell him–  
  
He couldn't! What was he thinking?  
  
"Don't gimme that look," he muttered, both to convince Mahiru and to reaffirm to himself that he really, really wouldn't slip up. "I'm never gonna tell you. I'm never gonna tell anybody. Knowing this... would be too dangerous for you. I'm gonna keep telling that till you get it."  
  
Something anxious stirred in the back of his mind as he spoke those words. Would Mahiru mind him saying that all over again? Especially after he had expressed so much trust in him, so much faith that he didn't even deserve?  
  
"Okay then."  
  
Kuro blinked in surprise. And yet, deep down, he wasn't all that surprised. This was Mahiru. Mahiru, who had infinite patience and faith. Mahiru, who somehow still trusted the guy who was obviously hiding a dark and dangerous secret.  
  
"If you won't tell me, then thinking simply all I can do is accept the parts of you I do know," Mahiru said easily. "And the Kuro I know is a kind, strong, loyal person. That's enough for me to trust you anyway."  
  
"But–"  
  
"Deny that again and I'm dumping a bottle of syrup down your shirt! I don't know how other people see you or used to see you. But my Kuro is someone I trust." Mahiru smiled. "So I'd really like to become your fighting partner anyway, okay?"  
  
Troublesome. So troublesome. If he was still who he had been before meeting Mahiru, he would have thought he'd rather die than deal with this. But he wasn't the same person as back then. He had changed. And apparently that change also involved letting himself be roped into every troublesome thing in sight.  
  
"What a pain," he said with a huge, heartfelt sigh. "You just wanna be trained by me, do ya?"  
  
Mahiru grinned at him, daring and full of courage. "Why, do you mind?"  
  
And with an even heavier sigh, one that truly spoke from the depths of his soul, Kuro pushed himself off the ground and sat back up, returning Mahiru's overly motivated gaze with a look of exasperation as he resigned himself to his fate.  
  
"Guess not," he said, because it had been Mahiru's win from the very beginning. "I accept payment in cup ramen."  
  
\---  
  
"Home, sweet home."  
  
Pulling his suitcases out of the car trunk, Mikuni stretched, smiled, and locked the car door without taking the keys out of his pocket, gazing out onto the still-empty school grounds. "How nice to get to return back here a day earlier than everyone else," he said to the doll sitting in the front pocket of his shirt. "Don't you agree, Abel?"  
  
Abel said nothing, but Mikuni laughed as if she had made a very witty remark only he could hear and started marching towards the dorm with a cheery smile on his face. It wasn't until he was a dozen feet away that he suddenly stopped, turned, and looked back at Jeje, who still stood next to the car with an irritable scowl underneath his paper bags, a look of mock surprise on his face.  
  
"Now," he said, "why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? Oh yeah, the baggage!" He grinned like a Cheshire cat delighted to be able to mess with his favorite victim. "Could you be so kind, Jeje?"  
  
Jeje looked like he was battling the very strong urge to throw something at him, but he didn't, instead opting to pick up Mikuni's overabundance of suitcases and dragging them along with a dark cloud hovering visibly over his furious form. Mikuni laughed again, turning around and quickly waltzing ahead again without paying heed to Jeje's struggles several footsteps behind him.  
  
"Not funny," Jeje muttered through gritted teeth, trying not to drop the second suitcase he was trying to hold in his right hand alone. "Carry... them... yourself..."  
  
"What, me? But you're the bodyguard, Jeje." Mikuni laughed again. "Am I not paying you to do the dirty work?"  
  
Jeje gripped the suitcase handles until they almost broke. "You... never... pay me..."  
  
"What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you're too quiet and too far behind!" Laughing even louder, Mikuni pranced ahead, so far out of reach that all hopes of chucking a suitcase at him flew right out the window. "Why don't you catch up a little so I can hear you? Hurry up, Jeje!"  
  
"I will kill you... oh." Jeje stopped walking with a mixture of annoyance and satisfaction. "Looks like somebody else might do it first."  
  
Without slowing down Mikuni turned around, looking back at Jeje in genuine questioning this time. "What did you–  _whoa?_ "  
  
Mikuni stumbled back. Right in front of him another figure did the same, staggering and regaining his balance after he had just knocked into him. For a second they just stared at each other in blank bafflement. Jeje thought he saw emotions on their faces that they rarely showed except as a joke, surprise, suppressed excitement and the faintest hint of sadness.  
  
And anger, of course.  
  
"Kuni-chan!" Tsurugi burst out, breaking the silence as he blinked up at Mikuni, visibly as surprised to see him here as Mikuni was. "What tragically unfortunate coincidence brought you here today?"  
  
Mikuni's face twitched in irritation, and a second later a mask of annoyance had spread all over his face, pushing aside all other emotions. "Tsurugi-san," he replied. "Do you not know how to read a calendar? Return day is tomorrow."  
  
"Poor Kuni-chan, just because you can't read a calendar doesn't mean you should assume the same of me. I have a reason to be here, and what is yours?" Tsurugi smiled a smile that was oozing pure poison. "Did you perhaps come here because you were so excited to see me?"  
  
Mikuni's grin derailed even further. "If I'd known that you would come here today, I would have delayed my return till Monday morning."  
  
"You're willing to change your plans for me? Kuni-chan, I'm flattered."  
  
"I'm willing to change any plan if it means I can avoid you for as long as possible."  
  
"Charming. Now tell me," Tsurugi said with knives in his voice, "did you really not expect to find me here? You know I come here a week before school starts with Tai-chan. You can't tell me that you really came here a day early, where we have the entire school for ourselves to do whatever we want, not expecting to find me, do you?"  
  
But Mikuni didn't respond to the taunt, not this time. A shadow passed over his face, and his murderous smile turned grim. "Oh. Right," he said. "Touma-sensei. I've been suppressing the memory."  
  
Tsurugi seemed to have caught on that something was off, because he, too, stopped smiling that poisonous smile as his expression turned tired, almost sad. "Kuni-chan, we talked about this. Tai-chan is not a bad person. He wants to do all this for–"  
  
"–for the greater good, yes, I know it all by heart." Mikuni rolled his eyes. "Just like how pushing a teenage boy in his custody into becoming a human weapon is for the greater good. To say nothing of brainwashing and going after people without caring what happens to them in the end. Lovely person, I bet he is." He gave a humorless laugh. "You are a puppet, Tsurugi-san, and you know it."  
  
Tsurugi smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Unlike what you think the world isn't all made of dolls, Kuni-chan."  
  
"Says the one who can't tell he is one? Ironic. Let's go, Jeje, we're leaving this puppet alone." Mikuni turned away from Tsurugi and resumed walking, not looking back at either him or Jeje. And yet, as soon as Tsurugi was out of hearing range, Jeje quietly but clearly caught Mikuni mutter something else.  
  
"Just you wait, Tsurugi-san. One day I'm going to free you."


	48. Trade Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm here to suggest an alliance."

"Jun. Hey, Jun!"  
  
Pausing in his steps, Jun turned around, peering back at Yumikage who had fallen behind, staring at him with intense concern in his stormy gray eyes. A few steps ahead Tsurugi was still walking along, seemingly oblivious to his two friends' delay for the moment.  
  
Yumi motioned him closer, keeping his voice as low as he could while peering at Tsurugi, watching for any sign of him noticing their conversation. "Hey," he whispered with a gloomy scowl, "are you really gonna do this... job or whatever?"  
  
Jun paused, glancing at Tsurugi and then back at Yumikage, taking in his grim, infuriated face, the audible spite in his tone. "I guess," he said diplomatically. "Why shouldn't I? We've always been doing our jobs."  
  
"I know," Yumikage hissed back. "But... you really wanna keep doing shit for this guy? You of all people?"  
  
Jun sighed. "I know he's not good for Tsurugi, but–"  
  
"That's not it!" Yumi reached out and grabbed the collar of his shirt, glaring furiously up at him, his fist trembling with barely-suppressed anger. "I'm talking about what he did to  _you_ , asshole!"  
  
Memories flashed through Jun's mind, but he pushed them back. With a stir of nervousness he glanced back at Tsurugi, who had still not noticed their delay and had waltzed ahead into the classroom, already badgering his classmates for money or food. "I know his reaction was bad," he said, looking at Yumi again, "and he's still harsh and insensitive about what happened, but we're still working for the same goal. You of all people should get that, right?"  
  
Yumikage flinched and set his jaw, desperation flashing up in his eyes. "Listen–"  
  
"It's just a few more months, Yumi." Jun placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him out of his personal space. "Then we can get Tsurugi out of there, and then we don't have to listen to Touma-sensei's orders anymore. Stay patient."  
  
Yumikage grumbled and clicked his tongue, but he let go of Jun's shirt, turning away and marching ahead, following Tsurugi into the classroom with a stubborn scowl on his face.  
  
"Just a few more months," Jun repeated under his breath as he followed. "I just hope he'll last that long."  
  
\---  
  
"Good morning, Kuro! Are you ready for another day of school?"  
  
Kuro groaned, just barely restraining himself from throwing a pillow at the overly energetic voice at the door. "Can't deal," he grumbled, rolling over and pulling a blanket over his head. "Five more minutes."  
  
Mahiru didn't yell at him this time. He just laughed, opening the door and slipping into the room with a smile on his face that could rival the sun. "This is weird, isn't it?" he said. "You were right next door for the entire month, it's strange having you so far away again now."  
  
Kuro nodded, peeling himself from the blanket and yawning, trying to smooth out his bedhead. Not because he wanted to look good in front of Mahiru, he thought. Mahiru had seen him trying to sneak ice cream from the freezer at three in the morning with his hair sticking everywhere and his entire body sweaty; he didn't have to impress him anymore. If anything it was force of habit, or perhaps the desire to look a bit more presentable at school again.  
  
Weird. He had stopped caring about his appearance forever ago, but now he couldn't help wanting to take care of himself a little again. And at this ungodly hour in the morning too. Mahiru must be rubbing off on him.  
  
"Time to brush my teeth, huh," he muttered, taking a glance at the time on his phone. "Have you seen my hairbrush?"  
  
Mahiru blinked. "You want to brush your hair too?"  
  
"Uh... problem?"  
  
"No. No, it's just..." Mahiru laughed awkwardly. "Usually all you do is splash some water over your head and towel it dry, right? When did you start caring about your looks?"  
  
"Can't deal." Kuro felt his face heat up. "I just kinda wanna look less scary again."  
  
"All right, all right," Mahiru replied, and Kuro didn't miss the spark of pride in his eyes. "You go ahead, I'll find it for you! Ah, you've already laid out your uniform, have you? Fantastic! Now where's your tie, your tie..."  
  
About half an hour later Kuro found himself walking back into the classroom alongside Mahiru, still avoiding people's eyes but feeling slightly more comfortable in his skin than usual. His hair fell a little smoother today than it usually did; he had even tried to part it properly, but it had looked stupid, and in the end he had stuck to just brushing it and letting it fall naturally. He had even considered asking Mahiru to teach him how to tie a tie; it still felt uncomfortable around his neck, but he wanted to learn it anyway. He couldn't just keep relying on Mahiru for everything, after all.  
  
At first he thought it was just his imagination. Then, little by little, he started to feel more and more eyes on him, more and more gazes that tore away from the objects of their attention to follow him. He tensed. Was there something on his face? Did he look different in any way? He still looked normal... did he?  
  
If Mahiru noticed the change in attention, he didn't show it at all. He simply marched on through the classroom, smiling at everyone in his way and greeting all the people he hadn't already reunited with yesterday. Then he reached his seat and sat down, and Kuro was very grateful to be able to disappear behind his desk and his textbook to hide from people's continued gazes.  
  
"Hey," he whispered over to Mahiru, "do I have something on my face?"  
  
Mahiru looked at him in surprise, then at their classmates who still seemed as surprised as ever. Realization dawned on his face, and he laughed. "No, Kuro," he said. "I think they're just surprised that you look different."  
  
Kuro looked down on himself, but he couldn't find any difference on himself except that he had brushed his hair today. A detail that people shouldn't normally notice, and even he had trouble seeing the difference in the mirror. "Different?"  
  
"Yeah!" Mahiru smiled. "You look... how do I put it. More healthy than before?"  
  
Kuro simply blinked at him in complete and utter disbelief. "You're kidding."  
  
"No, I'm not! Don't tell me you haven't seen it," Mahiru said with a huff. "Your eyebags aren't as dark anymore, your hair's less messy, your posture's better– no, really! You used to look like you were trying to hide your head between your shoulders!" he protested at Kuro's skeptical look. "And you've tanned a bit!" He smiled. "This break has really done you good!"  
  
 _Yeah,_  Kuro thought automatically,  _you have._  Happiness seemed to have an energizing effect on him, even if he didn't know what to do with all of it any more than how to deal with people's surprised gazes. No wonder he was looking more like a person after spending the entire month with Mahiru.  
  
"Can't deal," he muttered into his textbook. "Tell 'em to stop staring. 'm not a loading screen."  
  
But at that moment there was a bustle at the door, and the eyes of his classmates moved away from Kuro as fast as they had come. He relaxed for half a second. Then the eyes were back again, and this time there was one more pair that had joined them from the entrance of a classroom.  
  
A pair of eyes that he wasn't happy to see again at all.  
  
"Good morning!" the unmistakable voice of Kamiya Tsurugi chimed through the classroom, light and playful as ever, but Kuro had seen enough of him to recognize the scheming edge. "Excuse me, may I get through? If you stand in my way for too long I might start asking for standing fees, you know."  
  
Kuro crouched even lower behind his textbook, suddenly wishing he had his hoodie to pull it low into his face.  _Please don't be looking for us,_  he thought feebly. Logically there was still a chance. Maybe there was some sort of administrative issue, and he needed to talk to someone else. But deep down he knew that wasn't true. The student council president had come for him and Mahiru, there could be no other reason for his visit.  
  
"Coming through!" Tsurugi said as he moved across the classroom, coming closer and closer to Kuro and Mahiru's seats. Kuro's eyes darted right and left for possible escapes. Would he die if he climbed out through the window? Mahiru had made it out that way before. Or he could just crawl under the desk and pretend not to be there... Would Tsurugi notice him if he did? How would he react? And how would the others react? He had to make a decision, quickly, quickly...  
  
"The student council president," Mahiru said with the faintest hint of mistrust in his voice. Kuro relaxed a little. That was right, he thought. Mahiru hadn't forgotten the time the student council had tried to hold the two of them captive. Whatever was about to happen now, Mahiru wouldn't take it without a fight either.  
  
Tsurugi crossed the last few steps and came to a stop in front of Mahiru's desk, still smiling from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat.  
  
"Good morning, Mahiru-kun," he said cheerily, leaning sideways against the wall. "Nice to find you here! Did you have a good summer break?"  
  
Mahiru blinked and exchanged a glance with Kuro; obviously he hadn't expected this casual chitchat any more than Kuro had. "Well... yes," he said warily, confusion reflected in all of his features. "Uh... what about you, Tsurugi-san?"  
  
Tsurugi's smile grew even wider and exponentially more unreadable. "Lovely, thank you! Let's not talk about me though. Did you have fun this summer, Mahiru-kun? Was your break... relaxing?"  
  
Kuro tensed up in his chair. His smile, his tone... Did he know that something had happened? What was he trying to refer to, with Ryuusei and Koyuki within hearing range, no less?  
  
"It was fine... but..." Mahiru frowned in confusion. "Tsurugi-san, do you want anything from me or did you just come here for small talk?"  
  
Tsurugi laughed. "Caught on already, have you? You'll make a fine successor after I graduate. Well..." He leaned low over Mahiru's desk, throwing a glance over his shoulder to make sure Ryuusei and Koyuki couldn't hear what he was saying. "I'd like to formally apologize for the troubles my student council caused you back in spring. After everything you've gone through I'd hate to be another item on your list of troubles and woes."  
 _  
It's a trap._  
  
The thought shot through Kuro's mind before Tsurugi even finished his sentence. Something was wrong here. He knew it. He could sense it. This wasn't a genuine apology done out of sudden kindness after months of showing no remorse. There was a catch to this, and if he wasn't careful, he and Mahiru would wind up being pulled straight into a trap again.  
  
"Oh... that wasn't necessary," Mahiru said next to him, and Kuro flinched even though his tone was still cautious. "But... it's considerate? Uh... thank you."  
  
Kuro looked him up and down. He didn't look distrustful or even openly hostile, more startled and a little confused and definitely too friendly for Kuro's liking. He wished he had a way of telling Mahiru without Tsurugi noticing.  _This is a trap. Don't accept any apologies, this guy's shady. Don't trust him as far as you can throw him._  
  
But of course there was no way, not under Tsurugi's ever-watchful golden gaze. Nothing he did would escape Kamiya Tsurugi's eyes, Kuro knew that. Tsurugi had the senses and instincts of a battle-trained fighter. He would read through any trick Kuro might come up with to warn Mahiru. So he would have to wait. He had no other choice but to wait. As soon as Tsurugi was gone, he would warn Mahiru. Remind him of what happened in spring. Tell him what his gut feeling was telling him, the gut feeling that had never led him wrong in his life.  
  
"No problem!" Tsurugi chimed, and his smile shone more cheerfully than ever. "Let's get along in the future and not try to fight each other on top of fighting the real bad guys, okay? We won't lock you up again anytime soon, promise! Unless you're into that. Then you just need to pay me." He caught sight of Mahiru and Kuro's horrorstruck faces and laughed. "Just kidding!"  
  
Awkward silence. Mahiru tried to smile, but it came out forced. Kuro resisted the urge to crawl under his desk for real this time.  
  
"Anyway," Tsurugi muttered to himself shortly before the crickets would have started chirping in Kuro's ears, "what would Jun-chan say now... Oh yeah!" He turned back to Mahiru. "I'm glad you agree, Mahiru-kun! And to celebrate us making up, you're formally invited to join all of us from student council at lunch today. And your Servamp friend too!" He gestured to Kuro. "You're paying, of course!"  
  
Mahiru stared back and forth between Kuro and Tsurugi. "Wait, what the–"  
  
"Oh no, it's late... I'll be waiting for you at lunch, Mahiru-kun!" Tsurugi waved, turned and hurried out of the classroom at a remarkable speed. "See you later! Bye!"  
  
He disappeared out the door, and there was a moment's silence.  
  
"Uh..." Mahiru stared blankly at the door where Tsurugi had disappeared, one of his eyebrows twitching. "What... was that?"  
  
"Dunno," Kuro said with a sigh. "But whatever it is, looks like it's about to get troublesome as hell."  
  
\---  
  
He did not want to be here. He did not want to be here. He did not want to be here.  
  
Kuro sat tensely in his seat, staring at nothing but his food on the table. Maybe if he focused on nothing else and ignored the world around, he thought, this might actually start feeling almost normal. Not like he was sharing a table with the very people he had never wanted to see again, the very people he had always feared and despised and hated the most. The people he would avoid associating with at any cost except for Mahiru's safety. And yet here he was, because Mahiru's safety was just the very thing that was at stake here.  
  
This whole situation was wrong. Wrong on so many levels. He didn't want to sit here. He didn't want  _Mahiru_  to sit here. And yet, what choice did either of them have? If Mahiru didn't go with this so-called offer of peace that would mean antagonizing the student council, and that was the last thing they needed right now. Of course Kuro could still always have let him go alone, but then he wouldn't have been able to sit still for the whole lunch break, constantly worrying that they might be abusing Mahiru's kindness, roping him into something that would end in disaster for him and everyone involved. They had done it before. They had done it again. And he couldn't let them.  
  
Still, he couldn't wait until this break was finally, finally over.  
  
If Mahiru was confused or intimidated by the situation, he didn't let it show. Looking perfectly collected and friendly, he had struck up a conversation with the trio sitting across from him with perfect, natural ease. He had chatted with Tsurugi and politely refused to treat him to anything, now or outside of school; he had immediately hit it off with Jun, who seemed to be much on the same wavelength as him when it came to reason and common sense; and he had even managed to exchange a few words with Yumikage without being growled or yelled at, a feat that not even his friends seemed to be able to accomplish. They weren't speaking about anything particularly important. This was just normal, casual conversation, and Kuro couldn't help thinking that Mahiru fit right in with these guys.  
  
Somehow... he didn't like the thought. At all.  
  
And not just because he didn't trust these third-years, he realized. He wasn't afraid of Mahiru walking into a trap right now. But Mahiru was getting along with them like it was nothing at all, talking like he had known them for decades even though he'd never had much to do with them outside of student council and committee meetings. Mahiru was always so good at winning people over, befriending strangers in no time at all. He could befriend anyone in the world and get close with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted.  
  
Kuro, however...  
  
Kuro couldn't do any of that. Kuro had never willingly approached a person in his life, to say nothing of keeping a conversation going beyond the bare awkward minimum. He couldn't  _keep_  people the way Mahiru could, and he never had, except for Mahiru and Ryuusei and Koyuki who had somehow ended up sticking around, and maybe the gang too if he could count them. Not that he envied Mahiru in any way. But watching him talk so easily to the very people whose very names sent all his danger instincts flaring somehow reminded him of something that should have been obvious to him a long time ago.  
  
Mahiru didn't need him around, he thought. He was surrounded by people. He could win the hearts of pretty much anyone he wanted. If he felt like it, he could move on and find himself a whole new group of friends in a few days or less, with no need to rely on any of his old friends for longer than a second. Mahiru wouldn't, of course, he wasn't that kind of person. But in the end Kuro wasn't special to him, let alone necessary. At the end of the day he was always replaceable.  
  
Where... did that thought come from? Why was he suddenly feeling this way? It should have been obvious from the get-go!  
  
Suppressing a sigh, Kuro tried to focus back on his food, tuning out the idle chatter around him while keeping a watchful ear on any possible change in tone. Oh well, whatever. It had been some time since he'd been able to eat lunch without anyone trying to talk to him between every two mouthfuls. Wasn't this what he was used to? It was fine–  
  
"Hey, you two!"  
  
Kuro nearly dropped his chopsticks. Next to him Mahiru jumped in his chair, stopping his ongoing conversation with Jun mid-sentence. Both of them spun around in sync to find Licht towering over the table with a lunch tray in his hands and a threatening scowl on his face, looking anything but pleased with the whole situation.  
  
"Oh, hi Licht," Mahiru said with a startled look in his eyes. "Uh... what's wrong?"  
  
Licht simply slammed down his tray on the table and pointed at Mahiru and Kuro. "Why are you two sitting  _here?_ " he demanded. "I thought you weren't talking with those bags of–"  
  
"For crying out loud, Lichtan!" Hyde's voice wailed from the other end of the cafeteria. "Don't just go off on your own, you stupid runaway Angel-chan!"  
  
"I didn't go off on my own! Not my fault if you're too slow to keep up, shit rat!" Licht yelled over his shoulder. "Mahiru, Mr. Cat!" He turned back to Mahiru and Kuro. "Sit with us if you wanna, but not those creep bastards!"  
  
"Mr. Cat...?" Mahiru and Kuro repeated in sync. "I thought I was Mr. Panda," Kuro added under his breath.  
  
Yumikage jumped up from his chair, nearly knocking over his food. "Ah?" he growled, threatening to leap across the table and launch himself at Licht. "The fuck did you just call your seniors, you little punk bitch?"  
  
Licht shot him a brief glare, then he turned away from him, grabbing Mahiru's shirt with one hand and Kuro's with the other and trying to lift them both out of their chairs at once. Kuro sighed, slumped in his grip and resigned himself to his fate, whatever that would turn out to be. Mahiru struggled against the grip. "Hey, Licht!" he shouted. "Wait! Let go! Hear me out, they apologized and are trying to make up! They're not threatening us, I said! Licht! Hey! Licht, are you listening? Kuro, don't just give up that easily!"  
  
"Why not?" Kuro said with a shrug. "Whatever happens, happens."  
  
"Cut that defeatist attitude! Help me out here! Licht, for the love of–"  
  
"Yeah, let them go!" Yumikage yelled across the table. "We invited them here! At least they followed our invitation, you fucking son of a– Jun! Let me go, Jun! I need to kick that guy's ass!"  
  
"Sorry about him," Jun said as he covered Yumikage's mouth and forcefully shoved him back into his seat. "Next time I'm sending someone else to try and invite you here. Please don't think we all have his attitude."  
  
Licht didn't let go of Kuro and Mahiru, but he did loosen his grip. A few feet away Hyde was making his way through the crowd, precariously balancing his lunch tray on his head to save space and virtually dancing around the startled students who narrowly avoided bumping into him. Yumikage struggled in Jun's grip, but his resistance was futile. Tsurugi looked from one to the other and burst out laughing on the spot. "Yumi-chan!" he snickered. "Just what in the world did you do? You can't get everyone to do what you want just by yelling, you know..."  
  
Mahiru gave a sigh. "Like your version was that much better, Tsurugi-san..."  
  
"That's not the point. It was effective," Tsurugi said simply. "Would you have followed it otherwise, Mahiru-kun? Hmm? Check and mate. Well, then again we factored Yumi-chan's failure in–" infuriated noises from Yumikage, but Jun still didn't move his hand off his mouth– "and counted on your presence to bring the rest here too." He gestured to Licht and Hyde, who had now joined them at the table, breathless, huffy and very, very pouty. "As you can see, it's working."  
  
"I'm not gonna stay here," Licht growled and picked his lunch tray back up. "Let's go, shit rat."  
  
Hyde looked back and forth between everyone gathered around the table. "Wait, what is happening?"  
  
"Pardon the delay, everyone!"  
  
The conversation stopped. Everyone in the strange little gathering turned around to find Lily hurrying towards them, a lunch tray in his hands and a very distrustful-looking Misono in tow.  
  
"My apologies," he said breathlessly, turning towards Jun. "My friend would not let me come here by myself for some reason. He has become so concerned since my injury this summer, it's rather endearing..." Misono shot a deadly glare at him, and Lily smiled. "So he chose to accompany me here. I do hope you don't mind?"  
  
"Not at all," Jun replied with a polite nod. "We've got enough seats for everyone. Feel free to sit down."  
  
Lily smiled again and bowed his head, gesturing Misono to the chair beside Mahiru and sitting down next to him. Mahiru looked back and forth between him and Jun and gave an admiring little sigh. "What a polite interaction..."  
  
"You guys can sit with us too," Jun added in Licht and Hyde's direction. "We'd like to talk to all of you anyway."  
  
Licht intensified his glare, but he made no attempts to leave. Hyde was inching backwards. He looked like was more than ready to get out of here as soon as he could, only waiting for Licht to leave the table before doing the same.  
  
"Speaking of," Tsurugi said into the pause, "where did Shuu-chan go? He promised to bring melon."  
  
Licht was in a chair faster than the eye could see. Hyde shot a distrustful glare at the members of student council and sat down next to him, as far from the trio as the table allowed.  
  
"Very well." Tsurugi pushed aside his plate and rested his chin on his fingers, letting his eyes roam over the odd group that was gathered around the table, eating lunch or returning his gaze with curious eyes. "Now that we're all here together, let's get to the real reason why we called you all here today. Or, well, called your friends here so that you would join them and us."  
  
Misono made a sound of protest at that, but Tsurugi ignored him. Taking in the entire group around him with one single observant glance, he smiled that strange smile that made his thoughts impossible to read. "I'm here to suggest an alliance."  
  
The table was perfectly silent. All eyes remained on Tsurugi, hanging onto his lips and waiting for him to continue.  
  
"As some of you may know–" Tsurugi glanced pointedly at Mahiru– "Yumi-chan, Jun-chan and I are all members of student council. Even though we don't always look it, we're very responsible people! You can rely on us, you know?"  
  
Kuro shrank down in his seat. A short distance away he caught Hyde muttering, "Yeah, right."  
  
"So," Tsurugi continued, either not noticing the former Servamps' reactions or choosing to ignore them, "we'd much appreciate it if you passed the task of physically battling Melancholy – apologies, Tsubaki's gang," he added at the questioning looks, "up to us. You provide us with all the information we need, and then we'll take care of..." He made a meaningful pause. "...keeping them out of trouble."  
  
An icy chill ran down Kuro's spine.  
  
He knew that tone. He recognized it. Back then, when they had passed the Servamps their first and only message before the gang disbanded, Tsurugi had sounded exactly the same. He couldn't be trusted. If he sounded like this, it was a trap, and if someone didn't step in and stop this alliance from happening, more people might end up dead.  
  
Someone had to stop it. Someone had to talk Mahiru and Licht and Misono out of this. And thinking simply... that someone was him.  
  
"Who's gonna die this time?"  
  
The words left his mouth before he could think about what he was saying. Tsurugi blinked. Jun and Yumikage froze where they sat. On either side of him he could sense people turning to stare at him with wide eyes, but for once he didn't care. This needed to be said. And now, before anyone could make the same mistake that he had made back then.  
  
"This time?" Tsurugi replied, his eyes wide and round and surprised as if he had no idea, as if he didn't know exactly what Kuro was talking about. "Why, have we ever done that before?"  
  
Kuro clenched his fists in his lap. The fighter inside him was stirring awake, rattling its cage to be set free, unleashed on this boy who could still wear such an infuriatingly innocent face after taking a life and ruining the ones of so many survivors. He could shred him to pieces, right here. But then what? What would it help anyone if he ripped him up here and now?  
  
 _Keep calm,_  he told himself.  _Keep calm. Don't kill anyone. Don't let anything slip._  
  
"Sure you have," he said in the calmest voice he could muster. "If you got amnesia, just take my word for it. Can't deal."  
  
"And mine!"  
  
Hyde had jumped up in his chair, all pretenses of goofiness gone from his face. "For once I agree with big brother!" he said, his hands balled up into fists at his side, his shoulders trembling. "I remember. I remember everything. And if you think I'll ever forgive you or trust you again, you are mistaken!" He grabbed Licht by the arm. "Lichtan, let's go! We're not staying with these– these  _people!_ "  
  
Licht looked up at him, more than a little puzzled. "But the melon–"  
  
"Forget the melon! Knowing them it's probably drugged to make you do whatever they want from you!"  
  
Tsurugi sighed, leaning back in his chair to watch Licht and Hyde through his eyelashes, a lazy smile on his face. "So unforgiving," he said with a mock pout and a sigh. "It's soul-crushing, honestly. Well, not that I didn't expect it. Let me change my suggestion, then... Mahiru-kun?"  
  
Mahiru straightened in his chair just as Kuro inched closer to him, glowering threateningly at anyone who might lay a hand on him. "Yes?"  
  
"From what I've seen in meetings you're a pretty responsible person." Tsurugi leaned closer. "You want to protect your friends, don't you?"  
 _  
That's none of your business,_  Kuro wanted to burst out, but his eyes rested on Mahiru, wide and full of anxious expectation. This was a trap. He knew what Tsurugi was up to. But there was no reasonable way to stop him. The trap was laid out too well.  
  
"Uh... yeah," Mahiru said hesitantly, as if he, too, was aware that something was off. "Why?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to learn how to fight?"  
  
Kuro took a hissing breath. Everything around him went cold. He had seen this coming. And yet hearing it out loud caught him by surprise, like icy hands grabbing him from behind and holding him captive as he saw all the worst of his fears confirmed.  
  
He knew Mahiru's answer. He knew what it would be even before Mahiru knew it.  
  
"I..." Mahiru stared blankly at Tsurugi's face, struggling to comprehend. "Uh... sorry, what?"  
  
"You heard me," Tsurugi said with a smile that would have looked inviting to anyone who didn't know him better. "I'm trained in combat, you know. Thinking simply, who's better for teaching you how to protect yourself and your friends than me? And I'm cute and charming too!" He gave an obnoxious wink. "What do you say?"  
  
Kuro clenched his fists in his lap, gritting his teeth to keep himself from lashing out right then and there.  _How dare you use Mahiru's catchphrase like that,_  he thought.  _How dare you twist his own innocent words against him!_  
  
He needed to do something. He needed to stop this. But what should he say? He couldn't think of anything. All he could do was sit there in silence and grab Mahiru's arm, gripping it tightly as he stared at him with pleading, desperate eyes.  _Please, Mahiru. Say no to him. It's a trap. Say no._  
  
It wouldn't do anything, he knew. It wouldn't help him. But that didn't mean he couldn't at least try to keep his hopes for the last few seconds before they were finally crushed to pieces.  
  
But when Mahiru opened his mouth, what left his lips wasn't a yes. It was something else.  
  
"So... you'd train Kuro and me as a team?"  
  
Kuro froze where he sat. Had he heard that right? Was this... Was Mahiru serious?  
  
"A team?" Tsurugi looked back and forth between Kuro and Mahiru, laughing in the way he always did when he wanted to play something off. "Mahiru-kun, that's considerate of you and all, but the offer was only meant for you, you know? I think your friend here doesn't need any more combat training for now, and I doubt he wants it."  
  
Kuro felt eyes zooming in on him, and he shrank in his seat even as all of his instincts screamed at him to either run or lunge at Tsurugi. He couldn't keep this up for much longer. Tsurugi's presence, his attempts to lure Mahiru in... why couldn't he leave it at that? Why did he have to rub salt in his wounds and drop hints at their past at every opportunity he got? That way, if he kept it up... he might just–  
  
"I don't know if he wants it," Mahiru said to Tsurugi, interrupting Kuro's terrified train of thoughts. "But I know I'm either doing this with Kuro or not at all. I asked him to teach me first, and we promised to become a team, so thinking simply we have to get stronger together, right?"  
  
Kuro didn't need a mirror to know his face was flushing the brightest shade of red. From the roots of his hair to his neck he was glowing, burning as he pulled up the collar of his shirt in a feeble attempt to hide his blush. "Can't deal..."  
  
Tsurugi turned towards him, and for a second Kuro caught something inhuman in his eyes, something sharp and perceptive and beastly. Images flashed back through his head, memories he had been pushing down as low as his arms could reach, memories from when these eyes were the only ones Tsurugi ever sported, piercing and all-seeing and utterly merciless, the eyes of a soldier, no... of a killer. He lowered his gaze. Tsurugi's stare was tearing open old wounds and making him feel exposed, as if his deepest, darkest secrets had been turned from the inside out for him to read like an open book. And he would use all of them against him. The less he tried to show, the better.  
  
"I see," Tsurugi said in that too-perceptive voice, pursing his lips and looking back at Mahiru. "You two are pretty close, aren't you, Mahiru-kun?"  
  
Another trap. Kuro knew it, but he couldn't do anything to stop him. What should he do, keep Mahiru from saying that they were friends? No matter how he looked at it, that would be stupid and not helpful in any way. Mahiru sucked at lying. Tsurugi would see right through it.  
  
So Kuro gritted his teeth and resolved himself to watching as Mahiru, surprised but innocent as ever, smiled and replied, "Yeah! Well, we've become pretty good friends over this school year. We even spent summer break together! Right, Kuro?"  
  
"...can't deal."  
  
"You spent it together? That's so nice of you! I wish I had friends who do the same for me." Tsurugi gave a mock pout and dodged Yumikage's punch without looking at all, only to be almost hit by Jun's elbow. "Really a tragedy, I'm too cute for this... Tell me more about it, Mahiru-kun! What did you do over summer? Did you have fun? Did you have any..." The innocence disappeared from his face. "Adventures?"  
  
Apparently this time he hadn't been subtle enough. Mahiru frowned, leaning forward to examine Tsurugi's features, as if trying to determine how much he knew and how much he was trying to get out of him by acting friendly. "Uh..."  
  
Just a few feet away someone cleared his throat.  
  
"Excuse me," Sakuya said as the whole table spun around in surprise. His expression was darker than Kuro had ever seen it at school, glaring murderous daggers at Tsurugi over the table, making it all too clear that he was more than willing to attack him even though his arm was still in a cast. "Disciplinary committee," he addressed Mahiru, "there's two guys fighting at the cafeteria door. I think we need your help."  
  
"Crap, really?" Mahiru was already on his feet, pushing his chair against the table. "Sure, I'll be right there! Sorry, Tsurugi-san," he added over his shoulder. "We'll have to discuss this some other time... Now who the hell is fighting?"  
  
Frowning, Kuro watched as Mahiru brushed past Sakuya and stormed towards the door, pushing through the crowd until he disappeared out of sight. Only his voice could be heard from a distance, resounding through the whole cafeteria as he scolded out the two who'd been picking a fight.  
  
"Amazing," Tsurugi said with a sulky smile. "He has more authority than I do, and I'm the student council president!" With a mock pout he clung to Jun and Yumikage next to him. "Yumi-chan, Jun-chan, what am I doing wrong?"  
  
"I dunno either!" Yumikage snapped back. "Maybe it's 'cause you're an asshole! Let me go, Forehead!"  
  
Kuro still didn't feel safe around them, but he relaxed a little. What mattered for now was that Mahiru was out of their reach, out of their influence, impossible to pull into their grasp and under their manipulations for the time being. He could talk about this with him now, in peace, with no Tsurugi or anyone else from student council to eavesdrop and later use their words against them. And once he had warned him, hopefully Mahiru would listen. He would listen and not agree to anything Tsurugi said, no matter how charming he tried to be.  
  
They were safe.  
  
"Lichtan!" A few seats away Hyde was tugging impatiently on Licht's sleeve. "Now that Mahiru-kun's gone, let's leave too! I'm not staying with these people a second longer than necessary!"  
  
Licht looked a little like he wanted to bring up the melon again, but in the end he only scowled, grumbled something unintelligible, and got up with his tray. Hyde's face lit up, and he dragged them away from the table as fast as they could go without causing an accident.  
  
Silence fell over the table, and suddenly Kuro found himself wondering what he was still doing there. Mahiru was gone. The others didn't need him here. He could get up and sit wherever else he wanted and finish lunch with people he actually felt at ease with, and nobody would stop him. No one would be in danger if he left.  
  
Standing up from his chair, he balanced his lunch on his hands and muttered something about going after Mahiru, but honestly he didn't care much what they thought of him or his manners. He didn't have to impress any of those people. All he wanted was to get away.  
  
As he slipped through the crowd he nearly knocked into Sakuya, and for a second their eyes met. Kuro paused. This... no, it definitely wasn't just him. The look in his eye left no doubt about it. Sakuya had definitely directed Mahiru away on purpose.  
  
Respect for him welled up in Kuro's body for the first time. Before he knew what he was doing he had lowered his head and given Sakuya a polite nod, a short, distant sign of approval before walking away.  _Nice one._  
  
\---  
  
"I'm sorry, Tsurugi-san, but I already told you." Once again Mahiru tried to push out of the committee classroom that was now empty except for the uninvited guest that was Kamiya Tsurugi, but to no avail. "I'm training with Kuro, and I'm not agreeing to anything unless he's okay with it. I'll ask him and tell you his answer, okay? Now please–"  
  
"Wait a minute, Mahiru-kun!"  
  
Tsurugi stepped into his way again, and it took all of Mahiru's patience not to snap at him. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have training sessions alone with your Servamp friend," he said, even as a shadow passed over his eyes, strained, almost fearful. "But he is much stronger than you. You'll struggle to keep up with him as a partner. So what do you think of additional lessons? I'll tutor you to become a worthy partner."  
  
Mahiru hesitated. The suggestion sounded good. Very good. And it would take some of the burden off Kuro's shoulders, especially since he had seemed so unwilling to teach. Besides, if it helped them grow stronger even faster...  
  
"Okay," he said slowly. "Let's give it a try."


	49. Many Tries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He would need some time and maybe more practice, but then he'd be able to piece it all together and find a way to help without causing Kuro trouble.

"You're trying too hard."  
  
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Kuro gazed down at Mahiru, who was slumping against the wall gasping and panting and trying to catch his breath. This training session had only gone on for half an hour or less, and yet he was already spent, exhausted from putting his entire body and soul into it.  
  
"What do you mean, I'm trying too hard?" he shot back as soon as he had enough breath to speak. "I thought I was supposed to train and get better! Thinking simply there's no better way than trying hard, is there?"  
  
Kuro sighed, picking up Mahiru's water bottle and handing it to him with a look of exasperation on his face. "You're such a pain," he said. "That's not what I meant."  
  
"Then tell me what you mean, geez!"  
  
"I was getting there. So impatient, can't deal. That's the problem." Kuro yawned and raked a hand through his bangs. "You're wasting your energy. In a fight you gotta save it up for the important stuff, ya know?"  
  
Mahiru sighed and took a gulp from his water bottle, sliding down along the wall to sit on the ground. Kuro had a point there, he realized. While he was completely out of breath his friend hadn't even broken a sweat, and in an actual fight that would definitely put him at a disadvantage. Then again, wasn't that normal at his stage? Kuro was a seasoned veteran after all, and Mahiru was only getting started. Didn't he simply lack the stamina?  
  
"You  _are_  trying too hard," Kuro said as if he had read his thoughts. "You can't just attack all the time. Mahiru, you've read way too much shounen manga."  
  
Mahiru went pink. "Hey!"  
  
"It's true. In real fights you can't just punch whatever," Kuro went on. "You gotta learn not to let the others punch you. Just dodge and then punch when you see an opening." He threw a half-hearted air punch towards Mahiru's shoulder. "Like I did."  
  
"Okay, okay, I get it!" Mahiru sighed. "Should we change our strategy then? You try to hit me, and I dodge?"  
  
Kuro frowned in consideration. "Sure. You're not gonna last ten seconds though."  
  
"Hey, I'm not that weak!"  
  
"Don't worry, I'm gonna go easy on you."  
  
"You don't need to, dammit!"  
  
"Sure, sure." Extending a hand, Kuro helped Mahiru up to his feet and led him away from the wall, back out onto the concrete in their secluded spot behind the gym. "Don't complain if you get a black eye."  
  
"Like you'd ever hit me for real!"  
  
"So you do admit I'm going easy on ya."  
  
"You...!"  
  
Shooting a glare at Kuro's infuriatingly smug face, Mahiru took a fighting stance, giving his partner a challenging smirk. "Okay, I'm ready!" he said. "Bring it on!"  
  
Kuro nodded and did absolutely nothing. For the longest time he simply stood there a few feet away, hands in his pockets, gazing into the distance and looking like he wanted to do anything rather than practice fighting with Mahiru. "Hmm..."  
  
Mahiru frowned. "What's wro–"  
  
A hand shot less than inches past his face, so fast that he couldn't blink or react at all.  
  
"Gotcha," Kuro said with a self-satisfied twinkle in his eyes. "Lesson number one: Never let your guard down."  
  
Mahiru gasped and fumed. "That wasn't fair!"  
  
"Fair? Well, I got news for you." Kuro pulled away his hand and stepped back out of Mahiru's personal space. "Fights aren't fair, Mahiru. You gotta be smarter than the guys you're fighting. 'Cause they sure aren't gonna care about being fair."  
  
Mahiru groaned and sighed, raking a hand through his hair and calming down his startled, stuttering heartbeat. "I got it!" he said with a pointed glance at Kuro. "Not that I like it... I'm not very good at all that stuff." He shrugged. "Keeping my guard up around people, doubting them, not fighting fair because I know they won't either..."  
  
"You don't gotta."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me." Shrugging awkwardly, Kuro stuffed his hands in his pockets, gazing down at the ground and tracing patterns on the concrete with his foot. "You don't gotta start doubting people. That's what you got me for. I'm just telling ya to be careful."  
  
"Careful, huh..."  
  
Mahiru looked down at himself, then back at Kuro, as if their two forms in the late summer evening sun somehow provided answers for all the questions lingering on his mind. Not doubtful, just careful. Kuro would take care of the rest. That should sound reassuring... and in a way it did. And yet it was also confusing, as if Kuro was asking him to keep a delicate balance between things he didn't know the difference of.  
  
Kuro seemed to have noticed his confusion, because he glanced at him and sighed. "What a pain," he muttered. "For example, just now I said I was gonna try to hit you and you still let your guard down. You wouldn't have doubted me if you hadn't relaxed, but you'd have been careful... if that makes any sense. Explaining is such a pain." He gave an awkward half-shrug. "I'm just saying you shouldn't be gullible."  
  
"Who's gullible?" Mahiru burst out automatically, but then it hit him, and his face lit up with dawning realization. "Wait a minute," he said. "You mean... I can trust people, but I shouldn't let my guard down around somebody who's obviously up to something?"  
  
Kuro's eyebrows furrowed momentarily as he pondered the question, doubtful somehow, unconvinced, as if something about Mahiru's words seemed off to him. "I guess," he said at last. "Dunno."  
  
"What do you mean, you don't know?"  
  
"I dunno. I'm not sure." Kuro yawned, but Mahiru knew him well enough to tell that the yawn was fake, a clumsy action to cover up his insecurity. "I guess you could say that though."  
  
Mahiru gave a frustrated sigh. "Am I right or am I not right? Just pick one, geez!"  
  
"I can't decide that for ya," Kuro said with the air of someone reluctantly giving in. "But I guess you're right."  
  
Mahiru wasn't satisfied with that answer, not by a long shot, but he knew Kuro better than to try and press the issue. Chances were his friend wouldn't be able to tell him what exactly was wrong even if he wanted to, anyway; he sounded a lot like he was voicing a feeling he didn't know how to put into words at all. If this was some sort of worry or premonition... well, thinking simply Mahiru would just have to prove that feeling wrong.  
  
Straightening his back, he took a fighting stance again, tilting his head and seeking Kuro's gaze out with a challenging smile. "Okay then!" he said, brushing away the awkwardness and confusion in a heartbeat. "Let's try it again. This time I won't let my guard down, don't worry!"  
  
They trained until it got dark around them. Over and over again Mahiru tried to dodge Kuro's attacks, and over and over again Kuro outsmarted him in the end, no matter how hard he tried or what strategies he used or how long he held out. Nothing he did worked in the long run, and Kuro saw through all his wiles and tactics, stopping his hand a hair's breadth from his face or pinning him against the nearest surface in a matter of minutes to seconds.  
  
"Let's call it a day," Kuro said at last, stretching and yawning before extending a hand to help Mahiru up from the ground he had just pushed him against. "It's dark. Don't want you to get hurt 'cause you can't see a thing."  
  
With a frustrated noise Mahiru scrambled to his feet, patting dust off his clothes and throwing a punch at Kuro's shoulder. "I can see just fine!" he shot back with a pout and a glare. "You do have a point though, let's leave it for today. But tomorrow I'll evade you for sure!"  
  
"Mm-hmm. Maybe you're gonna break your record of two seconds this time."  
  
"Hey, I definitely held out for more than two seconds! Tomorrow I'll get even better!"  
  
"Sure, sure. You're still a hundred years too early, Mahiru."  
  
"Hey, who's read too much shounen manga now!"  
  
"I just thought you'd get it if I started talking like your manga series."  
  
" _You...!_ "  
  
Kuro gave a snort, and Mahiru sighed and laughed. "Okay, okay," he said. "Well, it makes sense that you're way better at this than me, I'm still a beginner after all. If you weren't way better you wouldn't be teaching me, right?"  
  
"...I guess."  
  
For a long, slow, quiet second Kuro gazed down at him, his expression unreadable. Mahiru shifted under his gaze. Maybe the darkness and the shadows were playing tricks on him, but to him it seemed almost like Kuro understood what he was thinking and took pity on him, or at least felt bad for him in some way. Almost like... like Kuro wanted to do something for him and didn't know what.  
  
Then again, maybe this was only Mahiru overthinking things. No, most likely. Because, at the moment, he really did feel a little strange. Weak. Helpless. Even if it was silly.  
  
He had already known Kuro was a lot stronger than he was, of course. He had seen it the first time they had been attacked by Berukia and Tsubaki in the hallway, and ever since then he had witnessed it over and over again. Kuro had been the strongest of the Servamps, the most skilled fighter, and the Servamps were all ridiculously strong, honed by years and years of harsh survival among street gangs, some of whose members had undoubtedly been much older than they were. Why, if Kuro hadn't been this strong he wouldn't have asked him to teach him in the first place. He knew all that just fine. But...  
  
But now that he knew the true difference between Kuro and himself, how could he still go around talking about being partners?  
  
It was stupid, of course. He knew it was. He was still a beginner, he would work hard, and in time he would get there. But how long would that take? How long until he was close enough to Kuro's level to be a help to him instead of a hindrance? There would be a long, long time where he'd be able to do nothing, a long time where he was nothing but the load, possibly causing Kuro even more trouble than he did now because he'd have accumulated a bunch of dangerous half-skills, recklessly bringing himself into danger when Kuro was already busy enough fighting on his own.  
  
Should he stay out of trouble until he was a worthy partner? That sounded like the simplest solution... but he didn't like it. Because it would imply that he would technically be able to do something by himself, more than now at the very least, and yet he would be doomed to standing at the side and doing nothing, simply because he couldn't get into Kuro's way. And who decided when he was good enough to fight by Kuro's side, anyway? Kuro? Himself? Someone else who watched them closely? The other Servamps, maybe? Who had a right to decide?  
  
He sighed. This wasn't simple at all.  
  
He would figure something out, Mahiru was sure of that. That wasn't the problem. He would need some time and maybe more practice, but then he'd be able to piece it all together and find a way to help without causing Kuro trouble. There was  _something_ , he felt it. And it was so close. So simple.  
  
All he needed was time. And ideas. And maybe some advice from someone who knew more about the matter, someone who wasn't Kuro...  
  
Wait a minute.  
  
He knew a person like that, didn't he?  
  
\---  
  
"And that's why you came to me, Mahiru-kun," Tsurugi finished for him. "Right?"  
  
Mahiru tilted his head, scratching his cheek in an embarrassed gesture. "Yeah," he said. "Pretty much."  
  
"And you want my advice on this because I'm your adorable mentor who's been fighting for years, right?"  
  
"Well... close enough..."  
  
Tsurugi grinned and extended his hand. "Pay up. Bad advice, five hundred yen. Questionable advice, seven hundred. Actually good advice I've put some thought into, one thousand. Which one would you like?"  
  
"Wha–?" Mahiru gaped at him in irritation and disbelief, even as part of him whispered that he should really have seen this one coming. It was strange enough that Tsurugi hadn't demanded money for tutoring him at fighting when he always demanded money for everything. "You... You want me to  _pay_  you?!"  
  
Tsurugi smiled at him like a cat trying to bug its owner into giving it extra food when it was supposed to be on a diet. "Of course," he said. "You're getting a special student discount too. Which one do you want?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
Did he seriously have to pay this guy? Tsurugi couldn't be serious... right?  
  
There was a beat of silence. Then, without warning, Tsurugi burst out laughing.  
  
"Just kidding!" he chimed, looking awfully pleased with himself. "Mahiru-kun, did you really think I'd sink that low? I'm mentoring you for free, you have special privileges! Sorry, I just couldn't help poking fun at you, you're so gullible!"  
  
Mahiru squinted at him. For some reason he couldn't help the flashbacks to Mikuni laughing at Jeje in much the same way.  
  
"Actually," Tsurugi added with an annoyingly smug face, "you should've known I was messing with you from the moment I offered you bad or questionable advice. All my advice is obviously good!" He sniffed and pouted, as if the very thought of Mahiru believing him to be capable of bad advice was a personal insult. "But anyway," he went on after a beat of silence, suddenly turning serious, "I wouldn't worry about this so much, Mahiru-kun."  
  
Straightening his back, Mahiru tensed, only for his features to slip into an unsure frown. "I know, but..."  
  
"You're only a beginner, and you're learning," Tsurugi said with a smile. "It's not like you have to fight against anyone right now. By the time you do, you might already be good enough, don't you think?"  
  
"Well... yeah, but..." Talk about feeling like an idiot. "What... if I'm not?"  
  
"Oh, that can be prevented. Practice, Mahiru-kun. Practice and get better as fast as you can so that you'll be as ready for the situation as possible." Tsurugi's voice was light as he spoke, as if his words were common knowledge, and Mahiru did suppose they were. He felt a little stupid for needing that to be explained to him, and yet he also wasn't satisfied. Tsurugi wasn't calming down his worries and his guilty consciousness. His words simply fell flat, just as flat as the words of Mahiru's own common sense had.  
  
And still he couldn't think of anything to reply to them, any way to argue against such simple logic. The only thing still bothering him was a gut feeling, a premonition, irrational and impossible to express with words, and as long as he couldn't explain it he had no choice but to push it down and accept Tsurugi's answer for what it was.  
  
"Okay," he said with a sigh. "That's the simple answer, I guess."  
  
That meant it should get through to him, and yet it didn't. What was wrong with him? Why did he keep on feeling like something would go incredibly, horribly wrong?  
  
"Yes! And simple is best," Tsurugi chimed as if he had only been waiting for this reply. "Now that we've settled that, would you like to work on it? It's a little late today, but I can teach you some moves before school tomorrow morning."  
  
Mahiru frowned. "Before school?" he repeated. "Sorry, I can't... I always wake Kuro up in the mornings, without me he'd be late for school."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
Tsurugi pursed his lips, looking almost a little disapproving. Then he smirked, gazing down at Mahiru through intelligent heavy-lidded eyes. "That's not a problem," he said. "If you get up early enough you can make it back in time to wake him as usual. Can you do that, Mahiru-kun?"  
  
That sounded like a good deal.  
  
"Okay," Mahiru said, sighing with real relief for the first time this evening. "Let's do this."  
  
\---  
  
Had Kuro woken up too early, or was Mahiru late?  
  
Giving a tired sigh, he rolled over for what felt like the millionth time this morning, staring at the opposite wall once more. Something seemed off today. The sun still rose early at this time of the year, so the fact that it was already broad daylight didn't mean much, but his sense of time was still telling him that he should be up by now, and that meant Mahiru should be here already. But he wasn't, and that should mean that his gut feeling was wrong, and he could still lie here for a few precious minutes before the daily knock on the door. All fine, nothing to worry about. And yet...  
  
Why did he continue to feel like something was wrong?  
  
He shouldn't worry, he knew. Mahiru would come. Mahiru had come for him every morning since the school year started, without fail, never a minute late, never missing out once. He would come today too, at the same time as always. He always had, and he always would.  
  
So quiet. The room was so quiet. Before Mahiru happened Kuro had always enjoyed the silence, the solitude, hiding here in his safe haven away from judging eyes and rumors that were too close to the truth. But now this very same room seemed too big for him, too unfamiliar, as if it was only a place he was staying at, not fully home until Mahiru arrived. The silence was suffocating. It was creeping into his ears, through his head, weighing down on his back and filling out his mind until the only thing he heard, the only thing he thought or felt was nothing but deafening silence.  
  
 _Hurry up already, Mahiru. Please._  
  
But no matter how much he hoped and waited, no matter how intently he listened for approaching footsteps hurrying towards the door, Mahiru didn't come. After what felt like an eternity Kuro reached out onto the nightstand to check the time on his phone. It was way past time to get up now, and Mahiru hadn't come.  
  
Had something happened to him? Maybe he was sick, or maybe he had just slept through his alarm after exhausting himself in their training yesterday. Kuro hoped it was the latter. If he had, it might be good if he was the one waking up Mahiru for once. It would be a close call, but he might still make it if he got out of bed and hurried up with getting dressed. And then he would go over to Mahiru's room, knock on the door, maybe shout his name, and proceed to tease him about oversleeping as they both showed up late for class.  
  
At least, that was what he hoped would happen. If Mahiru had really overslept. If... nothing worse had happened.  
  
It didn't have anything to do with  _them_ , did it?  
  
No, he shouldn't think that. They seemed to genuinely want an alliance this time, it'd be stupid of them to do anything to Mahiru now. Especially since they had before, and it hadn't worked. It was highly unlikely that something might have happened to Mahiru because of them, or at least that they would be behind it. In any way that was possible to discover, anyway.  
  
But that still meant they might have sent someone–  
  
Unlikely, he reminded himself. The student council wanted an alliance this time, and they had been trying to lay on the charm yesterday. Why would they do that if they proceeded to harm someone anyway? Not that he'd put it past them morally. He wouldn't put anything past them. But from a strategic, battle-smart standpoint, he knew better than anyone that it made no sense.  
  
So if they weren't involved... then where in the world was Mahiru?  
  
Should he call him? Kuro wanted to try. He wanted to do  _something_ , anything, no matter how stupid or pointless it turned out to be. Anything was better than lying around here and doing nothing. Anything was better than waiting and worrying and this endless, deafening silence.  
  
He sat up on the bed, reaching for his phone and scrolling through his contacts for Mahiru's number. There were so many contacts now, he thought. Before meeting Mahiru he hadn't had any except for his current foster family. But now there were so many... so many. And even though that should be a good thing, right now it was making his hands shake with impatience.  
  
 _Please pick up,_  he thought as he held the phone to his ear and waited for it to finish dialing already.  _Answer the phone. Tell me what's wrong already!_  
  
He let it ring once, and there was no answer. Twice. Thrice. No Mahiru. He waited as the phone rang a fourth, a fifth, a sixth time, and still nothing, no clear, familiar voice ringing from the speakers and explaining what on earth was up. It rang for a seventh time. Nothing.  
  
Another ring, and then it switched to voicemail.  
  
Kuro hung up. His chest felt cold. Mahiru wasn't answering his phone... Was he sleeping? Still, at this hour? Or was he just not answering his phone for some reason? Was he busy, unable to hear the ringtone maybe? Or...  
  
Had  _they_  told him something that made him not want to talk to Kuro anymore?  
  
Cold hands gripped his heart, knotting and twisting through his chest, making him tense and shudder even has he tried to push out the thought, to no avail. Mahiru wasn't that kind of person, he told himself. Mahiru wasn't the type to suddenly ditch a close friend without warning, just because a bunch of people who were little more than acquaintances said something bad about them. He'd question it. He'd want to talk to Kuro first, ask for confirmation, for his side of whatever story they had told him. Mahiru wouldn't dump him this easily.  
 _  
But what if they told him about that time? What if they told him about your past?  
  
What if they told him what you did?  
  
Are you sure he'd still want to be your friend?_  
  
Kuro gritted his teeth. He wouldn't let that thought in. He wouldn't, he wouldn't. Mahiru would still want confirmation. He wouldn't ignore him without warning. If anything he'd have gone and asked him on the spot, even if that meant barging into his room and waking him up in the middle of the night, hoping, willing to understand, to find some sort of explanation that the others had omitted from their version of the story. He'd be desperate to find some sort of explanation. Kuro had seen it with Sakuya. It would be just the same.  
  
 _Are you sure?_  
  
Of course he was. He knew Mahiru–  
 _  
You know how he reacted to Sakuya. What would he say if he found out what you did? What you did was a bunch of sizes bigger._  
  
Mahiru wasn't that kind of person. He wasn't–  
 _  
Really?_  
  
Of course. Of course. Of course he wasn't! In the past few months he had spent almost every waking minute with Mahiru. He of all people should know, shouldn't he?  
  
And yet...  
  
Why could he still not get that anxious feeling out of his chest?  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru didn't need to glance at a clock to know it was getting dangerously late.  
  
He had lost track of how long he had been out here training with Tsurugi, but it felt like forever. His skin, clothes and hair were drenched in sweat, his breath coming in gasps, his movements growing more and more sluggish and heavy by the minute. He was exhausted, and he knew it wasn't for lack of stamina. On the contrary, even Tsurugi had told him he was quite athletic and good at keeping up, and that could only mean one thing. One thing that twisted his insides into a fearful, guilty knot.  
  
It was way past time to go and wake up Kuro, and yet he was still here.  
  
"Tsurugi-san," he said as his breath evened out, "it's getting late, I think I really need to go..."  
  
Tsurugi paused in his movements, wiping the first beads of sweat from his forehead and blinking in surprise. "Already?" he asked, glancing down at his watch. "But it isn't that late yet."  
  
For a second Mahiru was inclined to believe him that his own sense of time had been distorted, then he abruptly stopped in his tracks. "I know it's not time for class yet," he said. "But I need to wake Kuro up, remember? It's already way past time–"  
  
"Oh my, really?" Tsurugi looked back at his watch and frowned, puzzled, before his eyes went wide with realization. "Sorry, Mahiru-kun, I forgot!" He laughed awkwardly. "We lost track of time, did we?"  
  
"Yeah," Mahiru added, urgency pulling at his limbs, shouting at him to stop wasting time with idle chatter here and hurry back to Kuro's room in the hopes that they wouldn't both be late for class. "So can I just–"  
  
"Just a second, Mahiru-kun!"  
  
Mahiru froze milliseconds away from spinning on his heel and running back to the dormitories. The sense of urgency yanked at him with a frantic scream, and it took all his manners to not lash out at Tsurugi on the spot. Seriously, what else? He had to get to Kuro! What if they'd be late because of him? Or worse, what if Kuro had already woken up on his own and was wondering where he was? What if he was worried? No, he tried to tell himself, Kuro would just sleep in... but still, what was he doing, standing around here and failing his friend?  
  
"What else?" he gritted out, willing his body to stand still and not lapse into a series of impatient movements as he waited to be released.  
  
"What else? Why, you need to cool down first, of course!" Tsurugi replied with that look of knowing innocence that was getting more infuriating by the second. "As a former member of the track and field club you know what happens if you don't, do you?"  
  
"How do you know– never mind." Mahiru waved it off, too impatient to question the sources of Tsurugi's information. "I can cool down on the way back, can't I?"  
  
Tsurugi shook his head. "The cooldown after a fight training is different from the cooldown after, say, running or jumping or things like that. I need to show you first, or–"  
  
"Fine!" Oh, damn it, he was losing time, losing precious minutes and seconds and Kuro was still counting on him... "Show me, but quickly!"  
  
So Tsurugi did, taking, as Mahiru felt, his sweet time as he explained exactly what to do, in excruciatingly minute detail. Time seemed to race through his fingers while they stood there doing nothing, and several times Mahiru could just barely keep himself from lashing out at Tsurugi and spinning on his heel to hurry off and get Kuro while it was still possible to minimize the damage. He didn't, though. Just barely. Tsurugi was a fighting expert, he thought, and he must have suffered a lot of injuries thanks to wrong training, injuries that Mahiru himself couldn't afford to get when he was trying to catch up to Kuro as quickly as possible. So he gritted his teeth and suffered through it, his only regret being that he couldn't reach into his pocket and at least text Kuro to tell him where he was in between.  
  
And then it was finally, finally,  _finally_  over, and Mahiru barely stopped long enough to say goodbye before running off as fast as he could, back to the dorms, back to his room to change into his uniform and get his bag and then back to Kuro. If only he had taken his stuff with him earlier. Right now that would save him precious minutes. But of course he hadn't anticipated how long they would take, he had thought they would be done in time, and he had been mistaken. And now he was reaping the fruit of his error. It was late now, so late, only a handful of minutes before the bell rang, and he hadn't even woken Kuro up, and they were both going to be late, and, and–  
  
His room. Finally. Mahiru fidgeted with the key and unlocked the door, barging inside and throwing on his uniform, barely caring if he buttoned his shirt right and ignoring his tie. Slipping into his shoes, he snatched his bag from his chair in passing, and was out of his room again before he even managed to catch his breath.  
  
No good. He'd never make it in time. He should already be at school. The bell would ring at any given second, and–  
  
He turned a corner and crashed face-first into someone.  
  
Great, great, great! Exactly what he needed right now when he was already late. "Hey!" he shouted as he staggered back, trying to regain his balance. "Watch where you're going–"  
  
" _Mahiru?_ "  
  
That voice... Mahiru stopped in his tracks. He blinked, taking a step backward as if in defense, his eyes slowly moving upwards from the shoes along the legs to the face he knew so well.  
  
"Kuro," he said, forcing himself to look him in the eyes despite the twang of guilt shooting painfully through his chest, the shame that it had come this far, that he had taken so long that Kuro had needed to get up by himself and gone this way even though the staircase that led outside and towards the school was in the other direction. Kuro had been searching for him. He must have been wondering, worrying that Mahiru hadn't turned up, hadn't come knocking on the door the way he did every morning.  
  
Kuro didn't say anything. He only gazed at Mahiru, looking him up and down as if searching his figure for an explanation for his absence, his expression blank and unreadable.  
  
"Hey," Mahiru tried at last, unable to hold his gaze for a second longer. "Kuro, uh..."  
  
"You okay?"  
  
He blinked. "What?"  
  
"You..." Kuro stepped closer to him, avoiding his eyes but resting his gaze somewhere around his shoulders, half lifting a hand that hovered hesitantly in midair between them. "Are... you okay? You're not sick... or hurt or something... right?"  
  
"Kuro, that's..." The guilt in Mahiru's chest twisted and burned, a heavy weight pulling him down and crushing him under his shame. Had Kuro been that worried? Had he thought something had happened to him? He felt like a traitor. To think that it was all only because he had chosen to train with Tsurugi, who Kuro seemed to dislike and fear so much... How was he supposed to explain that?  
  
"I'm... not sick," he said slowly, looking down along his own body as if looking for confirmation of his own words. "And I'm not hurt, either." He tried to muster a smile. "Don't worry, Kuro."  
  
Kuro didn't answer. His eyes were still on Mahiru, searching and insecure, as if he wasn't sure how much of that he should believe.  
  
 _I need to tell him._  The thought shot through Mahiru like an arrow. He didn't know how to put it, how to phrase it all so that Kuro wouldn't be upset, or at least keep the pain he would invariably cause him to a minimum. But he did know that he needed to tell the truth, right now. He owed Kuro an explanation. After all the worries he had accidentally put him through, Kuro deserved the truth.  
  
"About what happened," Mahiru began, his heart pounding in his chest. "I–"  
  
"Tell me later."  
  
"What? B-But–"  
  
"Tell me later," Kuro repeated, pointing at Mahiru's watch. "We're already late for class."  
  
"Oh crap, you're right! Let's hurry... but..." Mahiru fidgeted, unsure about hurrying to school, unsure about everything. Part of him seriously considered skipping class to explain everything. "I... are you sure?"  
  
Kuro frowned at him, looking torn between amusement and serious concern. "What's that?" he asked. "The perfect student Mahiru-sama doesn't freak out over being late to class? So weird. Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru honestly didn't know what to reply to that. "I, uh, well..."  
  
"Never mind. Just tell me later." Kuro turned away and started hurrying down the corridor, back towards the staircase, avoiding Mahiru's eyes. It was almost as if he was trying to hide some sort of emotion, worry perhaps, or frustration. Was he doing this for Mahiru's sake? Was he trying to give him more time to explain things because he knew Mahiru had a hard time putting it into words? Or... did he perhaps suspect what had happened and wanted to put off hearing the truth?  
  
"Okay," Mahiru said quietly, stumbling after Kuro. Side by side they ran through the dormitory, down the stairs and towards the school grounds, avoiding the closed gate and heading straight for the secret entrance Kuro had led them through so many weeks ago. This time Mahiru didn't struggle; he lifted himself up the wall with ease, climbing into the tree on the other side without needing Kuro's assistance. He swung himself down from the branches, and together they ran over the grounds and through the building until finally bursting into the classroom.  
  
"Sorry we're late!" Mahiru shouted as he and Kuro stumbled in through the door, bowed in sync, and quickly slid into their seats. From the corner of his eye he threw another glance at Kuro. But his friend's face betrayed no emotion, his eyes focusing on the desk for once as he took out his notebooks and twirled his pencil in his hand, almost forcefully paying attention.  
  
The class seemed to take forever. Each time Mahiru glanced up at the clock it seemed to move slower, and each time his heartbeat seemed to go a little faster, his hands more clammy as his thoughts raced each other inside his head. What had he done? He had wanted to get stronger more quickly, sure. He had wanted to keep up with Kuro sooner. That was why he had let Tsurugi talk him into training together. That, and because he did want to trust Tsurugi, he didn't want to lose a potential ally now that they were approaching them peacefully. But he hadn't wanted to neglect Kuro over that. No, he shouldn't have agreed to this without talking to him in the first place. Kuro hated Tsurugi. He had to have some sort of reason for that. Agreeing to this behind his back without hearing him out first felt like a breach of trust, and Mahiru didn't know what to do.  
  
What would happen if he told him?  
  
He hadn't really thought about it before, but now the question hit him all the harder. If Kuro, who had so much trouble trusting people, who had taken so long to open up to him even a little, found out what was essentially a heavy breach of trust, how would he respond? He'd be hurt, for sure. Upset. But would that be it? Would he feel bad for a while, and then things would go back to normal?  
  
What if Kuro stopped trusting him?  
  
Mahiru glanced at him again, a cold pang of fear shooting through his heart. He really hadn't thought about that, but the more he thought about it the more likely it seemed. Kuro had clearly been betrayed before. And he had trusted Mahiru not to betray him. But Mahiru hadn't thought about it properly, he had agreed to something in the hopes of helping but without considering Kuro's feelings enough, and when Kuro found all that out... even if he wanted to keep trusting him, would he still be able to?  
  
Would it be better not to tell him after all?  
  
Mahiru dismissed that thought in a second. Absolutely not. He wasn't one for keeping secrets, and it wasn't like he could lie or keep a secret forever no matter how much he tried. Besides, Kuro deserved the truth. Mahiru had already breached his trust enough. He couldn't go on betraying it even more by hiding things from him or lying in his face.  
  
So when the class was over, he was the first to jump up to his feet, motioning for Kuro to follow him outside.  
  
No reaction.  
  
"Uh... Kuro?" Mahiru asked, leaning over to stare at his friend in surprise. "Don't... you want to know what happened?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Later. We only got a short break right now, it's gonna get rushed."  
  
"But–"  
  
"It's okay," Kuro said without meeting his eyes. "I can wait. Tell me later."  
  
Mahiru hesitated. He didn't want to wait anymore. He wanted to explain things right now, get them all off his chest... but on the other hand Kuro was right. They had very little time. And with every minute that passed it grew less and less likely that this short break between classes would suffice to clear everything up as well as he wanted.  
  
With a heavy sigh he sat back down, rummaging through his bag for the textbooks and notebooks he'd need for the next class. Better to wait. Until Kuro was ready to listen to him he wouldn't be able to tell him much, anyway.  
  
He didn't get to explain things to Kuro in between classes that day. Every time he tried to bring up the subject Kuro would return with the same argument, and more often than not they were busy moving to different rooms or got roped into conversation by Ryuusei and Koyuki anyway. Before he knew it it was lunch break, and just as he wanted to motion Kuro to a more quiet spot they were joined by Misono and Lily, closely followed by Tetsu and Hugh, and all plans of a serious talk had to be postponed once more. Mahiru kept glancing to Kuro during lunch, but if his friend minded, he didn't let it show; he was acting perfectly normal, except that he seemed to be avoiding Mahiru's eyes a little more often than usual.  
  
And then afternoon classes began and ended, and after what felt like an eternity and a single heartbeat at once Mahiru finally found himself walking back to the dorms with Kuro, alone together at last.  
  
"Okay," he said after a long moment of awkward silence, "can I talk now?"  
  
Kuro glanced at him from the side, then he gazed back ahead as he nodded and shrugged. "Get it over with. Can't deal."  
  
So Mahiru did. Awkwardly, hesitantly, he told Kuro everything from the moment Tsurugi had detained him over his realization during their training session and Tsurugi's advice to their prolonged training in the morning, how it had taken forever and he hadn't managed to free himself from Tsurugi's grasp much earlier. He explained his hesitations, his hopes, his motivations, and for the entire speech, the entire walk his eyes stayed fixed on Kuro's face. For the entire walk he searched for something in Kuro's features, an emotion, a reaction, anything, but there was nothing, no blink, no movement that would betray how he felt. His face was perfectly blank, as if all of Mahiru's explanation didn't concern him at all.  
  
And when he was finished, when they had just reached the doorstep of Kuro's room and Mahiru finished his explanation Kuro turned around and gazed at him for a second. Mahiru waited for him to say something, protest, tell him off, anything. But the only thing that came from his mouth before he disappeared through the door was a single, solitary word.  
  
"Okay."


	50. I'm Okay With It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did no amount of reason manage to drive these fears out of his head?

Mahiru stared at the door that had fallen shut in front of him, wondering if he should follow inside.  
  
 _Okay._  That was all Kuro had said, all he had been willing to say before turning around and closing the door in his face. And he didn't understand. He didn't understand anything. He had expected Kuro to be upset, disappointed, cold perhaps, he had expected him to say something, tell him what he thought... he had expected him to show some kind of emotion, but hadn't expected this. Quiet, blank-faced acceptance. As if Kuro didn't care. As if he had already made his peace with the thought that he couldn't change things anyway.  
  
What was up with that? Why wasn't Kuro protesting, trying to talk him out of this deal with Tsurugi? He knew Mahiru cared what he thought. If he tried to argue, if he just told him he wasn't comfortable with this, Mahiru would cut things off with Tsurugi. It had only been a deal for his sake from the beginning, anyway. And Kuro hated the student council, he seemed to fear and mistrust them. So why... why was he  _okay_  with this?  
  
Mahiru wanted to ask him. He wanted to know, to understand. He wanted to open this door and step inside and ask Kuro everything that had left him confused, clear everything up so that nothing was left to stand in the way of their friendship anymore, as it should be. He couldn't just turn his back and continue on when this was still hanging undiscussed between him and Kuro.  
  
But on the other hand, he thought, Kuro might want to be alone for some time now. He had walked out on him pretty suddenly, and he hadn't seemed like he wanted to talk. Maybe he needed some time to think before he was able to face Mahiru again and talk things out, and then putting him under pressure would only make things worse. Maybe it was best to wait. No, not maybe. Knowing Kuro, he definitely needed his time alone now.  
  
"Hey, Kuro?" he said through the door. "I'm gonna give you some space, okay? Just tell me when you feel ready to talk."  
  
He lingered at the door, but there was no answer. He wasn't even sure if Kuro had heard him. For all he knew he might have put on his headphones again, blocking out his voice and the world for the time being.  
  
"I'll be back," he said quietly, hesitantly tearing himself from the silent room, still secretly hoping to hear footsteps heading towards the door, or at least Kuro's voice answering him. "See you later, Kuro."  
  
His heart felt heavy as he left, but no matter how much he wanted to stay, for the entire way back to his room he didn't turn back again once.  
  
\---  
  
 _Okay,_  he had said.  _Okay_.  
  
Kuro flopped face-down on the bed, not even bothering to put aside his bag or take off his shoes. Who cared if his bedsheets got a little dirty. It didn't matter, not to him. The only one who would mind such things was Mahiru, and Mahiru wasn't here to scold him or complain.  
  
He sighed.  _Okay_. Why in the world had he said that? It had been such an incredibly stupid, meaningless thing to say, and yet the more he thought about it the less he knew what he should have said instead. Whatever he felt, probably. But he had no idea what he felt. He didn't even know how he was supposed to feel, aside from a jumbled mess of frustration and disappointment and worries come true.  
  
He wanted to be mad at Mahiru, he really did. He wished he'd had the ability to snap at him right then and there, tell him off for charging ahead on his own and falling in with such a dangerous person without at least asking him first. But how could he? Mahiru had already said he was sorry and that he should have thought things through, and it had been clear from the look on his face that he had realized his mistake and felt genuinely bad for it. However justified it might be, Kuro didn't have the heart to get angry at Mahiru when he was already feeling bad about it. No point to it, anyway.  
  
Besides, some part of him thought, had Mahiru really wronged him?  
  
Of course, Mahiru had gone against his trust with this. He had joined forces with someone Kuro hated and feared like few others in the world, despite his warnings, and he hadn't even asked him before – no, worse, he hadn't told him at all until the situation forced him to. He had been trying to hide it. If Tsurugi hadn't held him up for so long that he had been late in picking up Kuro, how long would it have taken for him to find out? Would Mahiru have told him at all?  
 _  
Of course not,_  said a voice in his head.  _Why should he have? It's not that important._  
  
It was important to Kuro. And Mahiru knew that. He would have told him, he reminded himself. Mahiru wasn't one to keep secrets.  
 _  
Why should he care if it's important to you?_  
  
Because Mahiru was his friend, Kuro reminded himself, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to block out the dread creeping up on him from behind, black shadows that were slowly crawling closer from every side, threatening to encompass him and swallow him whole. The part of him that still reasoned with the taunting voice inside his head was getting weaker and weaker.  
  
 _Are you sure Mahiru is your friend?_  
  
 _You think of him that way, but how do you know he feels the same?_  
  
Mahiru had told him before. He had said it to him ages ago, before Kuro even dared to hope that the two of them might be friends. Mahiru easily considered people his friends. And he was loyal to all of them, without fail. After all those months by his side Kuro knew that much.  
 _  
Even to someone like you? Don't be stupid. You don't deserve his loyalty. Looks like he finally realized that after all._  
  
No. No! No, no, no. Mahiru thought better of him than Kuro himself did. He didn't know why. He didn't know what he saw in him. But for whatever reason he had taken a liking to Kuro. He cared about Kuro. He had spent so much time with Kuro, helping him, inviting him to his house over summer. When he had collapsed after searching for Sakuya Mahiru had broken down crying when he found him, begging him to never disappear on him like that again. And Mahiru was a terrible actor. These tears, these words had been genuine. Mahiru was loyal to him, he still was. No matter how much Kuro doubted it, no matter how much he asked himself why he thought he was worth it in the first place.  
  
He should calm down. Relax. He wasn't going to lose Mahiru over this. Mahiru seemed to have felt genuinely bad about this whole story earlier. He had said he was doing it in an attempt to become a suitable partner more quickly. Whatever he had done, he had done it for Kuro, and that had to count for something. If it was the truth. If it wasn't just an excuse–  
 _  
Stop._  
  
Why... was the room so cold? Why was he shaking?  
  
"Mahiru..."  
  
Why did no amount of reason manage to drive these fears out of his head? He had felt okay for so long... okay enough with himself and the world, okay enough to feel happy and loved and not think about how much he had to lose now, how much he had gained that was too good and precious for him to keep... and not once had he truly feared to lose Mahiru, not even when he had been drowning in guilt over his fallout with Sakuya. Not until now, and now this fear was consuming him, grabbing him from all sides and threatening to swallow him whole.  
  
"Ma...hiru..."  
  
What should he do? What should he do? What should he do? He didn't want this... he didn't want this... he didn't want this!  
  
Mahiru... he needed to see Mahiru... he needed to call out to him, needed to get to him, he couldn't be alone, he had to see him... he needed to be with him right now, needed those words of affirmation Mahiru would definitely say to him from his own mouth. He just had to get up. He just had to get to his phone and call him, text him, anything, and Mahiru would be right here, calming him down and helping him back to reality. He needed Mahiru. He needed his presence like air, the very same air that seemed to hurt in his lungs right now, his chest cramping up and refusing to let him breathe. If he could just get Mahiru, everything would be okay.  
  
If he could just... if he... wasn't a bother... or clingy... or troublesome... he... definitely was, wasn't he?  
  
No good. He couldn't do this. He couldn't ask Mahiru for help. He was already relying on him too much, way too much. He could never do anything by himself. If this went on even Mahiru would get tired of him and his constant neediness. If he wasn't already.  
  
He was needy. He was definitely needy.  
  
 _Pathetic._  
  
 _What are you doing here, freaking yourself out over something this tiny? Get a grip. Every other person would just shrug it off and carry on with their life. Why can't you? It's not that much of a big deal. You just need to pull yourself together and you'll be fine. You don't need help. If you can't get through this much by yourself, you're just too weak._  
  
"Shut up," he whispered to the voice in his mind. "Shut up... I got it!"  
  
He was terrified. He was consumed by guilt and shame and loneliness and fear, fear, so much fear. It was wrapping around him, closing in, darkening his eyes, filling out his mind. And he knew he shouldn't be feeling that way.  
  
But... he'd have to deal with this alone. Anyone else would.  
  
So he curled up, pulled the pillow over his head and simply let things happen.  
  
\---  
  
The afternoon ticked on, slower than a snail.  
  
Tsurugi dangled his legs, staring at the clock, then at his phone, then back at the homework he should probably stop procrastinating on. He yawned. On his right side Jun was already done with his work, holding a college prep textbook in his hands, reading and muttering to himself; to his left Yumikage was cursing over math problems, crumpling up what had to be the fifth sheet of paper and throwing it into the wastebasket behind him without looking to see if he actually hit it. If it wasn't so much fun to watch him struggle, Tsurugi would have offered to help him already. But as it was, he left him be, opting to stare at his own blank page instead, bored out of his mind.  
  
"Yumi-chan," he whined, flopping back in his chair and planting his open textbook over his head. "Jun-chan! I'm bored."  
  
Jun put down his book, peering at Tsurugi, then at his nonexistent notes, sighed, and went back to studying. "You could try doing your homework, for starters."  
  
"That's boring."  
  
"Still needs to be done. Stop complaining." Jun had already disappeared behind his book again. "And don't even think I'm letting you copy mine again."  
  
"Let me copy yours," Yumi gritted out, almost breaking his pencil in his hand. "Please, Jun! I'm dying!"  
  
"No can do. Ask Tsurugi, he can help you."  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
"Bad word, Yumi-chan!"  
  
"You shut up, Forehead!"  
  
Jun ignored them both. Yumikage scowled at him, then he turned back to glare at Tsurugi, who completely ignored him and picked up his phone again instead. "Still nothing from Mahiru-kun," he said with a pout. "Did I exaggerate it this morning, I wonder?"  
  
"Yeah," Yumikage said without missing a beat.  
  
Tsurugi made a face at him. "You don't even know what I did, Yumi-chan!"  
  
"Neither do I." Jun sighed, putting a bookmark into his book and placing it down on the desk, evidently accepting that he wasn't getting anything done today anymore. "What  _did_  you do, Tsurugi?"  
  
For a short moment Tsurugi considered to tell them, then he shook off that notion. Better not to go into too much detail. The fewer people knew about the details of his personal mission, the better; he had made the mistake of detailing his instructions to the others before, and Touma hadn't been pleased at all. Who cared if none of them knew what the others were doing? Touma kept an eye on the mission as a whole, and all they had to do was complete their tasks as instructed.  
  
"Nothing special," he said with the most mysterious smile he could muster. "All I did was train Mahiru-kun a little. He's talented, but I think I overdid it and scared him off, because I haven't heard from him since and the day's almost over. What a shame..." He sighed. "Oh well, if I could win his trust that easily, it wouldn't be fun."  
  
Yumikage and Jun continued to stare at him with narrowed eyes.  
  
Tsurugi raised his hands in defense. "What?"  
  
"You're not telling us everything," Yumi said with a scowl.  
  
"I'm telling you everything important! What, do you want me to detail all the exercises I made Mahiru-kun do this morning?"  
  
"Like hell I do! That's not what I meant and you know it, asshole!" Yumikage tried to lunge and grab his shirt, but Tsurugi dodged, and he nearly fell over sideways in his chair. "You did something shady, huh?"  
  
Tsurugi blinked at him in mock innocence. "Shady? Me? Yumi-chan, I've never done anything shady in my life."  
  
Yumikage stared at him for a very, very, very long time, then he scowled, clicked his tongue, and muttered something about calling bullshit as he returned to staring at his math textbook. Jun gave a heavy sigh, his eyes flitting back and forth between Tsurugi and his phone before he asked, "Have you tried contacting him first?"  
  
"Of course I have! Jun-chan, do you think I'm stupid?" Tsurugi made a face at him, and Jun frowned back with an expression as if he was seriously pondering the answer. "That's precisely why I'm wondering. I texted him to schedule our next training session hours ago, and he still hasn't replied..."  
  
"Maybe he's busy," Jun replied bluntly.  
  
"Yeah," Yumikage added, "or maybe he's sick of seeing your ugly mug."  
  
"Love you too, Yumi-chan. Or maybe," Tsurugi continued as he evaded the puch Yumikage threw at him, "I should try to call him."  
  
The other two exchanged a glance and sighed, looking as if they wanted to talk him out of it but knew it would be no use. Tsurugi half expected them to say something about him not listening to them just now, but apparently even that seemed pointless to them now, and they settled on looking at each other with deep-rooted exasperation. All the better. If he didn't have to discuss this with them, might as well proceed.  
  
So he picked up his phone and searched through his contacts for Shirota Mahiru's name.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru dropped his pencil when the phone buzzed, nearly jumping out of his skin. His heart skipped a beat as he leaped from his chair, darting across the room to where it lay on the nightstand, picking it up at lightning speed before it could buzz a second time.  _Kuro_ , he thought. Kuro had finally agreed to talk to him, and he needed to answer, he wouldn't make him wait a single second longer than he needed.  
  
"Hey!" he said breathlessly into the speaker. "Do you feel like talking after all? I can come over, it's not a–"  
  
"Hello to you too, Mahiru-kun," a voice answered him. "Nice to see you're so excited to talk to me!"  
  
Mahiru stopped in his tracks. This... was not the voice he had expected.  
  
"Tsurugi-san?" he burst out as a glowing red blush crept from his neck up to his hairline. "O-O-Oh, sorry! I was expecting a call from someone else, and... sorry, I should've checked the caller ID! A-Anyway..." He flailed his free hand around in an attempt to calm himself down. "What's the matter?"  
  
Tsurugi gave a light-hearted laugh. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Although I'd love to know who you were so excitedly waiting for, then..." Mahiru blushed so red he felt like Tsurugi would see it through the speaker of his phone. There were voices and scuffles in the background, and Tsurugi laughed, footsteps resounding from the speaker as the voices around him moved further away. "But that's not why I called you. Did you get the text I sent you awhile back?"  
  
"Huh? Ah... oh, that!" Mahiru's embarrassment faded, leaving only a squirming, uncomfortable feeling in his gut. "Yeah, I saw it... but, uh..." Crap, how should he explain this? He didn't really want to tell Tsurugi what had happened between him and Kuro, and he didn't want to be rude either. "Say, could we discuss this some other time? There's something else I need to clear up first, and uh..."  
  
"And you can't make plans until that other thing is sorted out," Tsurugi finished for him. "Right?"  
  
Oh, this was awkward. "Well, yeah..."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Is..." Mahiru felt more and more like an idiot with every passing second. "Is that... okay with you?"  
  
"Eh? Oh, of course, of course!" Tsurugi laughed sheepishly, and Mahiru breathed a sigh of relief. "I was just wondering what could be so important that you'd even put your training aside. After all, you're working so hard because you want to catch up to Kuro-kun, right?"  
  
Something about his voice told him that he knew more than he was willing to let on.  
  
Should he talk about it? Mahiru knew Tsurugi had probably figured out that this had something to do with Kuro. Should he be honest and say that he had deeply hurt his closest friend and didn't want to continue this breach of trust until they had talked it out? But that seemed unfair towards Kuro, telling Tsurugi so much that he himself probably wouldn't want him to know. Better not to risk it. Some things were personal, and Kuro still seemed to hate Tsurugi too much to trust him with this information.  
  
So he took a deep breath and told Tsurugi the truth instead.  
  
"I'd rather not talk about it."  
  
Tsurugi was silent for a second. When he answered, his voice was stunned, but he sounded like he had just started to respect Mahiru a little more.  
  
"Really?" he said. "That's unusual coming from you, Mahiru-kun. I won't pry though." There was a short pause, and then he was back to his normal friendly tone. "How about you message me when you've cleared everything up, then?"  
  
"Yeah... Yeah, that'd be perfect!" Mahiru's face lit up. "Sorry for the trouble. Thank you very much, Tsurugi-san!"  
  
A soft laugh from the other end of the line. "Sure, sure."  
  
Mahiru said goodbye and hung up, and when he went back to his homework he was somehow feeling both better and worse than before the call.  
  
\---  
  
When he put down the phone, Tsurugi was grinning from ear to ear. He felt a little bad for Mahiru, but he still couldn't help grinning. Things were going wonderfully. Touma-sensei was going to be so proud of him later.  
  
"Hey, Forehead," Yumikage said from where he still sat at the desk. "What's that creepy-ass grin for?"  
  
"Creepy? Oh, sorry, Yumi-chan. I didn't realize you were such a scaredy-cat." Tsurugi laughed and dodged the eraser that came flying his way. "Why, can't I just be happy? Would you rather see me sad, Yumi-chan? Some friend you are, really..."  
  
"That's not what I meant! And you know it, son of a–"  
  
"Yumi, language!"  
  
"Stay out of this, Jun! Tsurugi!"  
  
"Okay, okay." Tsurugi smirked to himself. "I was just happy things are working so well."  
  
Yumikage and Jun both glanced at him with curiosity, waiting for him to continue.  
  
"Well... the rift between those two is already forming."  
  
\---  
  
"Well, isn't this a little concerning."  
  
To someone who didn't know him well, Mikuni's voice would have sounded carefree, amused even. It was the usual tone he almost always spoke in, unless something was either very funny or very, very serious. But Jeje wasn't deaf, and neither was he blind. He caught the slight strain in Mikuni's tone with ease, but even without that he would have known that this was no laughing matter. Mikuni's forced grin, the way he gripped his pencil in his hand and glared at seemingly no one would have told anyone with eyes that he had long stopped finding anything in this matter even remotely amusing.  
  
"Tsurugi-san, getting his hands on Mahiru-kun," he muttered, twirling the pencil in his hand, radiating an aura of murder. "No... let me correct that. It's Touma-sensei pulling the strings, and Tsurugi-san is nothing but the spineless, willing puppet here." The pencil fell from his hand and rolled over the desk onto the floor. "A puppet that, unfortunately, holds Mahiru-kun in his grasp."  
  
Jeje leaned against the wall, gazing down on him and easily able to guess what was going to happen next. "Do you plan to step in?"  
  
"What kind of question is that? Of course I do!" Mikuni spun around in his chair, looking offended. "If those people make their move on all the old Servamps and their allies, they're going to go after Misono too! I'll be damned if I let these perverts lay their hands on my precious baby brother!"  
  
Jeje continued to stare at him and said nothing.  
  
"And Lily, of course. If I've observed it right Jun-san is after Lily, which is, well, not the most terrible thing that could have happened to him, thankfully, but still bad enough. This group stops at nothing, they can get him hospitalized again in a heartbeat." Mikuni didn't seem to be talking to Jeje anymore; he was talking to himself. "And Misono would kill me if I let anything happen to his childhood friend... that would be a tragedy. Now that first-year boy, they can have him all right, I don't care about him..."  
  
"He has a name," Jeje remarked.  
  
"As I said, I don't care about him. He looks like he's corrupting Misono, and if that can be avoided, all the better."  
  
"You don't want to get to know him first?"  
  
"Maybe someday, Jeje, don't pressure me. Now where were we?" Mikuni disappeared under the desk and reemerged with his pencil in hand. "Right... well, to sum up, something needs to be done before Tsurugi-san can go and ruin Mahiru-kun."  
  
Jeje raised an eyebrow under his paper bag mask. "And how are you planning to do that?"  
  
"I have my ways." Mikuni made a nonchalant gesture, only to pause mid-movement and meet eyes with Jeje, snorting in amusement. "No, Jeje, trust me, I really do!"  
  
Jeje only sighed, half wondering how on earth Mikuni had managed to notice his skeptical expression underneath his paper bags, half unsurprised because this was  _Mikuni_ , and nothing about Mikuni surprised him anymore. "Care to tell me, then?"  
  
"Only partly. Some parts I'm still not sure about myself."  
  
"But you have your ways, right?"  
  
"Jeje, if you know anything from the past handful of years it's that I always have my ways, sooner or later. For all you know I might be bluffing about not being sure of some parts of my plan, you see? But anyway," Mikuni added as Jeje sent him a murderous glare, his arm reaching for the nearest thing on the desk to throw at him. "The most important part, of course, is to get Mahiru-kun as far out of Tsurugi-san's grasp as we can. He seems to be their leader, after all."  
  
\---  
  
Still nothing from Kuro, and the day was almost over.  
  
Mahiru glanced at his phone, half hoping to find a notification, a message whose tone had somehow escaped his ears. But of course there was nothing. He had been paying close attention to any and all sounds from his phone today, and still there was nothing, nothing but silence that was getting more and more concerning with every passing minute.  
  
Should he try to call him after all?  
  
Mahiru hesitated. It seemed like the right thing to do. And it would definitely help him feel better if he talked things out with Kuro. But on the other hand Kuro might still want to be alone, and if he did, then pressuring him and not giving him his space would definitely make things worse. Was it worth the risk? If Kuro was mad at him, wouldn't it be better to wait until he approached him on his own?  
  
But on the other hand... this was Kuro. Kuro, who never approached people of his own accord. Kuro, who couldn't reach out. Kuro, who was so awkward and insecure and full of self-hatred that he always assumed people wouldn't want him around anyway.  
  
Kuro... who might need him to take the first step.  
  
He should try it. No, he had to try it. He wouldn't pressure Kuro to say anything. But if he was welcome, if Kuro was willing to talk to him again, he would be there. It was worth a try. Thinking simply, trying something and failing was always better than not doing something and regretting it later.  
  
Standing up from his chair, he pocketed his phone, put on his shoes, and walked out into the corridor, heading straight towards Kuro's room.  
  
\---  
  
Kuro had been swallowed by a sea of ink, cold and dark and heavy, weighing down on his ribcage, crushing his heart, turning his limbs to lead and making him unable to move.  
  
At least the feeling wasn't pitch-black anymore, he thought. At least he wasn't frantic and shaking with panic and fear, only able to think of escaping his feelings somehow, in whatever way possible, no matter what it cost him to end his suffering. Right now everything was dark gray, quiet and stable and bearable, more or less, or at least not horrible enough for him to want to try anything anymore.  
  
He was tired. So tired. Tired of everything. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he couldn't do that. His mind was wide awake, numb but awake nonetheless, restlessly spinning in circles, wandering, wandering, he didn't know where. He had lost track of his thoughts hours ago. The voice of his fears, his self-hatred was still whispering in his ears, trying to entrance him, envelop him whole like it had earlier, but he tried to ignore it. Sooner or later it would get too loud to ignore again, he knew that. But for the time being he wasn't listening. Better that way.  
  
But even if he did fall asleep, he would probably have a nightmare.  
  
He should really do something, he thought. He should get up and distract himself, maybe get his laptop and watch something funny on YouTube in the hopes that it would help him focus on something other than the voices in his head. Maybe try to eat some chips or ramen too, although he couldn't even imagine eating a single bite right now. He couldn't imagine to drink anything either. He didn't want to do anything at all. He just wanted to lie here until something happened, even if he didn't know what.  
  
Why was he like this? Why was he so weak... so useless... so hopeless? He just needed to get himself together. Everyone else could do it. Why couldn't he? Why was he so troublesome? For all his life... nothing but a burden...  
  
"Shut up," he muttered weakly. Maybe if he kept saying that, it would actually help him sometime.  
  
Footsteps sounded through the corridor outside, and Kuro listened closer. He would be disappointed again, of course. It wasn't Mahiru. Mahiru was busy. He was probably out training with Tsurugi again, or whatever else that guy was roping him into. Kuro wondered if he would show up for him tomorrow morning at all. Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he wouldn't even notice if he didn't go to school at all tomorrow... or for a few days... or ever–  
  
"Kuro?"  
  
Was he imagining things?  
  
"Kuro! Are you in there?"  
  
This was real, wasn't it?  
  
"Mahiru," Kuro managed out, his voice quiet and exhausted and helpless, the sound of it strange after who knew how many hours of lying here in silence. Like he himself hadn't believed he'd ever be able to talk again, yet alone answer another human being, and yet here he was. Either completely delusional and talking to no one... or actually answering his best friend's call.  
  
"Okay, you're here," Mahiru replied, and his voice was too close and too real to be a figment of Kuro's imagination. "Hey... are you all right?"  
  
If Kuro had the energy, he would have laughed at this question. Of course he wasn't all right. He wasn't even one bit right. He was feeling terrible, so terrible that he didn't know what to do with himself anymore except resign himself and wait until his suffering faded, but he couldn't say that. It would just cause trouble, for himself and for Mahiru. Mostly for Mahiru.  
  
"I'm okay," he said in the steadiest voice he could manage, even as some part inside of him shriveled up and withered away.  
  
"Really? That's good... uh..." Mahiru hesitated. "Can I come in?"  
  
 _No,_  part of Kuro wanted to say. Mahiru shouldn't come in. He couldn't see him like this, a complete mess threatening to fall apart at the seams, a human disaster cracking and breaking and crumbling away. As long as they talked through the closed door, at least he could hope to keep up his pretense long enough. If Mahiru came inside, if he saw his face... there was no guarantee what might possibly happen.  
  
But... Mahiru was here. He was here for him. He had come back because, despite everything, he did care. And Kuro wanted to see him. He wanted to have him close, wanted to touch him, wanted to snuggle up against him and feel his warmth and listen to his heartbeat until he started feeling a little more okay. This closed door... he didn't want it. He didn't want this distance.  
  
 _One more reason to say no,_  something whispered in his head.  _You don't deserve this happiness. You're not worth Mahiru's friendship either. I have no idea why he still sticks around with you at all._  
  
"Mahiru..."  
  
He didn't want to suffer. He didn't want to suffer. He didn't want to suffer.  
  
Forcing himself to sit up and smoothing out the covers so it didn't look like he had spent the past few hours panicking on the bed, he took off his shoes and stumbled slowly to the door, putting on his calmest expression as he opened it and found himself face to face with Mahiru.  
  
"Ah... uh... hey," Mahiru said, blinking in surprise. "I didn't expect you to open the door."  
  
Kuro shrugged, forcibly channeling his sense of humor through the ocean of dark ink inside, sifting through the crumbling bits of him floating in the floods and hoping the cracks in his mask of stoicism wouldn't start showing yet. "I felt like doing some exercise," he managed out at last. "All that time with you must be rubbing off on me."  
  
Was that okay? Did that sound like his usual self? Was it funny?  
  
Mahiru threw a nudge at his arm, giving a fond sigh. "Geez," he said. "I was worried about you, all right?"  
  
Oh no. Not this topic. If he brought this up, Kuro really couldn't tell how much longer his mask would hold.  
  
"No need to worry," he said, even as he continued to crumble away on the inside. This was too much for him, too draining. All he wanted to do was collapse on his bed again and not face anyone for a week. "It's not like I'm sick or anything."  
  
"Of course not... but..." Mahiru sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I don't know, you just seemed so upset earlier. So I thought we should probably talk about it... thinking simply, if we don't communicate we can't find a solution, right?"  
  
No. No. No!  
  
What was Mahiru saying? Was he implying he'd be willing to drop the training with Tsurugi if Kuro was against it? The very same training that he had only started for Kuro's sake? That was stupid. Going to such lengths for someone like Kuro was stupid. And Mahiru was stupid, caring about him so much when he'd be so much better off without him.  
  
"What solution?" he asked, the calm mask on his face so thin it was starting to become transparent. "We don't need a solution. It's fine."  
  
"Really? But–"  
  
"It's  _fine_ ," Kuro said again, a little more stubbornly than he had intended to sound. "Do whatever you want. It's not like I can tell you what to do or anything."  
  
Mahiru frowned at him, and Kuro's insides went cold. He had slipped up. He had slipped up, hadn't he? Of course he had... his mask was still crumbling away, it was only a matter of time before it shattered and–  
  
"Kuro, don't be stupid!" Mahiru threw a friendly punch against his shoulder, but his frown was serious, and Kuro's insides knotted up with the fear that he had upset him. "You always ask me for stuff without problems, don't you? That's how friendship works, you can ask each other for help and favors anytime!"  
  
He was seeing through him. Quick, Kuro had to change direction. He had to pull the brakes, or he would be found out.  
  
"It's not like I don't wanna ask for anything," he said, unable to hold Mahiru's gaze any longer. "I don't gotta. It's all fine."  
  
That would work on him... right? Right?  
  
Mahiru's frown deepened. "Really?"  
  
"It's all fine," Kuro repeated, a little louder this time.  
  
Mahiru took a deep breath, lowering his head, and for a second he almost looked as if he was about to turn around and leave.  
  
"I'm not fine."  
  
Kuro froze.  
  
"I'm not fine with this, Kuro," Mahiru said, raising his head again. "I'm not fine with that look on your face. I'm not fine with the way you act upset but try to tell me you're not. I don't want to make you unhappy, okay?"  
  
Kuro's heart hurt, but he only shrugged. "Should I put on my happy face?"  
  
"No! Dammit, Kuro..." Mahiru's fists were balled up at his sides. His shoulders were shaking, his entire body tight with emotion that Kuro didn't understand and didn't deserve. "I don't want you pretending to be happy for me! I want you to be happy... actually happy! And for that you need to tell me when something's wrong, okay?"  
  
Why did Mahiru keep insisting on that?  
  
It was so frustrating. No, it was infuriating. Every part of his mind, of his very soul was shouting, screaming at him that he wasn't worth it, he didn't deserve Mahiru's friendship, he didn't deserve all the things Mahiru was telling him, offering him, willing to do for him. No one should have to do anything for him. No one should try hard for him, change themselves for him. He was the one who had to try hard to keep up with them all. If they started trying too... would he ever catch up?  
  
What was he doing? What were they both doing? Nothing made sense. Mahiru didn't make sense. Kuro's feelings didn't make sense either. Shouldn't he be happy? Shouldn't he be glad to have found someone like Mahiru, someone who actually cared for him and called him his friend despite everything? Of course he should. But right now all he could think of was how unfair all this was for Mahiru, how unequal they were. How if they stayed that way, eventually Mahiru would realize that he was getting nothing back and leave. Like everyone else had.  
  
 _You're so ungrateful. See, this is why nobody stays with you._  
  
Enough... enough... enough!  
  
Enough of this. He couldn't keep this up. He needed Mahiru to get away from him. If he stayed here any longer, Kuro was going to shatter and break down right here on the doorstep.  
  
"I'm gonna," he said quietly, staring at Mahiru's feet, torn between the urge to run and the secret, hidden desire to collapse into Mahiru's arms and cry like a lost child. "I'm gonna tell you. But right now... don't worry about it. You don't gotta quit your training with that guy just 'cause I'm kinda uncomfortable with it." He shrugged and swallowed. "It's not worth it."  
  
Mahiru took a deep breath.  
  
"No," he said. "Don't you dare say that again, ever. Your feelings are worth it! They're always worth it, you stubborn idiot!"  
  
His voice crumbled and cracked. He sounded like he was about to cry. Kuro wanted to cry too. He had upset Mahiru... he had made him unhappy. He hadn't meant for that to happen... why did these things always happen? Why was he so bad at this?  
  
 _Keep yourself together. What are you, a baby?_  
  
Now the voice was mocking him, but it was right. He had to keep steady. And he had to manage this situation, no matter how.  
  
"Mahiru," he said, forcing his voice to sound confident and stable even though he had no confidence or strength left, none at all, and he could feel the strain sucking the last ounce of energy from his body and soul. "This is a gang war. You gotta get strong as fast as you can. And if it's by letting this guy train ya, do it. Nobody asks about feelings in a time like this."  
  
Mahiru hesitated. His voice was still unsteady when he replied, soft and a little shaky. "But..."  
  
"Just do it." Kuro rested a hand on the door, beginning to push it close. "We can talk about the rest some other time, or whatever. I'm tired."  
  
"Okay... uh..." Mahiru looked hesitant, but he took a step back and nodded. "Good night, Kuro."  
  
"Night, Mahiru."  
  
He slammed the door shut, and Mahiru's footsteps disappeared into the distance.  
  
Kuro was alone.  
  
He... was alone.  
  
And now that he was alone, he wanted nothing more than Mahiru back. He didn't want to stay here all alone with his thoughts. He wanted to be with Mahiru. He needed to be with Mahiru. He couldn't go after him, couldn't call him back now. But... but...  
  
He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be alone!  
  
"Mahiru..."  
  
Trembling and shaking, Kuro collapsed to his knees, curled into a ball, and let the darkness swallow him once more.


	51. No Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretending had always worked just fine, so why wasn't this the same?

He was immersed in memories.  
  
Scenes flashed through Kuro's mind like a dream sequence, cutting from one to the next so quickly and abruptly he could barely follow them all. All he saw were faces. Faces of all the people who had become shadows of his past, all the people whose faces and voices he had suppressed for so long until they came back with a roaring vengeance.  
  
 _"Are you sure we can take care of this child?"_  
  
 _"Well, I don't really want another mouth to feed, but you know, I'm his closest relative aside from his parents. Someone has to do the job, I suppose."_  
  
 _"Of course you're welcome here, dear. Why shouldn't you be?"_  
  
 _"I don't know what to do with this child anymore. I don't understand him."_  
  
 _"Don't worry. We'll be different from all the others. We're planning on keeping you, see?"_  
  
 _"Why do you always keep on getting in trouble? Don't you understand how that makes us feel?"_  
  
 _"I've had it with this child. It's too much for me. Someone else take him. Either he gets to leave, or I will."_  
  
 _"Come on now, no need to be so distrusting. I know you've been with bad people, but no one here will hurt you."_  
  
 _"Will you ever do anything around the house? All you ever do is sit up in your room and do nothing! You live here too, don't you?"_  
  
 _"You don't need help. Just stop moping and pull yourself together!"_  
  
 _"Go outside! Make some friends! Everyone your age has friends! The neighbors are asking me about you already!"_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _"What are you so depressed for? You have everything you need! In other countries children are starving and–"_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _"And what about your grades! Your future! Do you ever stop and think about that? Do you want to end up flipping burgers somewhere?"_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _"At least show some gratitude! We've been slaving away to provide for you and what do you give us back?"_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _"You don't need help."_  
  
 _I don't need help._  
  
Kuro opened his eyes.  
  
He wasn't sure how or when he had managed to find his way onto the bed, let alone under the covers. He wasn't sure if he had slept at all, either. Sometime between his conversation with Mahiru and right now time had slid from his grip, and he had been swallowed whole by something, what, he wasn't sure. The night felt too short for him not to have slept, but whatever dream-like state he had been in just now hadn't felt like sleep at all. It had been more of a trance, as though someone had hit the off switch on his body and only his brain had kept on running and running and playing its own little show at lightning speed. He half remembered shaking at some point. When, he didn't know. He wasn't entirely sure if he had stopped, either. His body felt too numb and foreign to tell for sure.  
  
Could he move now? He tried to lift his hand, but it wouldn't budge. His body was refusing to listen to him again. It was like he had been transformed into a statue of lead, too dull and tired and heavy to move.  
  
He should probably worry about that. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything. He was just tired. Drained. Completely hollow, inside and out.  
  
He didn't want to worry about anything right now. He wanted to sleep. Just close his eyes and forget the world and pass out for a week, or a month, or maybe a year. However long it took for this stupid gang war to end and himself to forget about all this pain.  
  
 _You coward,_  the voice in his head said from a distance.  _And what about protecting Mahiru? You can't even keep your own friend safe because you'd rather hide from everything and sleep?  
_  
Kuro should probably feel guilty about that. Some part of him did. The rest of him would spiral into a panicked high from this later, he supposed. But right now he felt numb. The voice wasn't loud enough to truly be a bother. And it wasn't like he could do anything as long as he couldn't move his body, anyway.  
  
But he was fine. He didn't need help. Only weak people needed help. If he asked for help, he'd be weak too. Weaker than he already felt. All those people were right; he simply needed to pull himself together like everyone else did, and if he failed at that, he was a failure who wasn't worthy of help anyway. He just wasn't trying hard enough. The whole mindset that he couldn't do it was all useless melodrama.  
  
Yeah. That was it. The immovable body? He just needed to try harder to move it. It wasn't like he was physically exhausted or anything, so this was all up in his head. That meant if he changed his mindset, he could change his whole situation.  
  
What was he so down about, anyway? He was in a good place right now. Better than he had ever expected to be. He had friends now. He'd had the best summer of his life. He had found people he was welcome with, so why couldn't he just be happy? This was stupid. He should be happy. He should be–  
  
He couldn't be happy.  
  
He couldn't move his body either, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
He still felt heavy, so heavy. Like all his good feelings and energy had been pulled down a drain and disappeared, leaving nothing but dull gray twilight and pitch-blackness behind. Again. Except this kind of thing usually announced himself over a few days and didn't just attack him out of nowhere.  
  
 _So tired._  
  
Why was he like this?  
  
Why was he reacting like this?  
  
Why couldn't he just get up and deal with things like a normal person?  
  
What was wrong with him that was right with everyone else?  
  
He should probably be panicking about these questions too, but right now he didn't. Right now they were simply there, circling slowly in his mind, steadily creeping into his body and limbs and suffocating him from the inside. He let them. He let it happen. It didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered. Yet everything mattered too much. This was stressful. Thinking was stressful. Living... was stressful.  
  
Damn it, his chest felt tight.  
  
Looked like he was one of the weak ones, after all.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru was woken up by the untimely buzz of his phone.  
  
Shooting up straight on the bed, he blinked, looking from side to side in disorientation and trying to spot his phone. It was on the nightstand as always, and Mahiru lunged, grabbing it and yanking it from the charger before remembering yesterday's embarrassment and taking a look at the caller ID.  
  
It wasn't Kuro, he realized with his heart sinking. It was Mikuni.  
  
Mikuni? This early in the morning?  
  
"Hello?" he asked into the phone, yawning and slumping back onto the pillow. "Mikuni-san? What's the matter?"  
  
There was a second's pause on the other end of the line, and then Mikuni's voice came through the speaker. "Oh my, Mahiru-kun," he said, sounding equal parts surprised and impressed. "You're up to answer the phone early. Did I wake you?"  
  
"It's..." Mahiru was interrupted by a big yawn. Now that the first shock was gone, sleepiness had quickly caught up with him again, and he was starting to wonder if lying back down had not been the best idea after all. "It's okay," he said. "What is it?"  
  
"Technically, nothing worth a call for. I was trying to text you, but I think I hit the wrong button and you picked up before I could stop it."  
  
Jeje's voice muttered something in the background, and Mahiru thought he caught the words "liar" and "you did that on purpose."  
  
"What, Jeje?" Mikuni shouted away from the speaker, but still so loudly that Mahiru flinched away from his phone. "What did you say? I can't hear you!"  
  
Mahiru sighed and yawned again. On the other end of the line something clattered and crashed, and there was a series of undefinable noises before Mikuni's voice appeared through the speaker again.  
  
"Anyway," he said, "now that I woke you up, might as well talk to you this way. Say, Mahiru-kun..." He paused for a moment, either for dramatic effect or out of actual hesitation, Mahiru couldn't tell. "You weren't planning to meet with Tsurugi-san again this morning, were you?"  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise, suddenly feeling more awake again. "Uh... no," he said. "But how did you–"  
  
"That's good then," Mikuni interrupted him. "Don't meet with him anymore for the time being."  
  
Mahiru almost dropped his phone. "Yeah – no – uh, what?"  
  
" _Do not meet with him._ "  
  
Mahiru shuddered. He didn't know what it was, but something about Mikuni's words sent chills down his spine. The light, cheerful ring had evaporated from his voice, making a shadow pass over him and flit through the room, dark and cold enough to sense but too quick to grasp.  
  
"I wasn't planning to," Mahiru managed out after shaking off the chill. "But... why?"  
  
Mikuni was very quiet for a very long moment, as if pondering his answer, thinking intently about each phrasing and every word. "You can't trust him," he said at last. "There are some things about Tsurugi-san and the student council that you need to know. But I probably shouldn't be telling you that here."  
  
Mahiru frowned. "Why not?"  
  
"It's confidential. If I talk to you about this over the phone, I can't know who else is listening in on your end... or mine." Mahiru furrowed his brows, and somehow Mikuni seemed to guess his expression. "I know that sounds a little paranoid, Mahiru-kun, but believe me. They have their eyes and ears everywhere, I know. I was one of these people once."  
  
"You..." Mahiru blinked. "Were? But... you're still part of the student council, right? As the vice-president–"  
  
"I am," Mikuni said with a small laugh. "But I'm not part of the group behind it anymore."  
  
Mahiru didn't know what to reply to that.  
  
"In any case," Mikuni continued on after a moment's silence, "let's meet up later in peace. After school, all right? I'll text you a meeting place."  
  
"O-Okay."  
  
"And one more thing."  
  
There it was again, that shadow passing over Mikuni's voice as he seemed to inch closer to the speaker, so close Mahiru felt like he was whispering directly in his ear. "Do not tell anyone about our conversation."  
  
\---  
  
Memories again.  
  
Kuro had drifted off once more, sliding into another half-sleeping daze. Once again he was haunted by images; but this time the images were less fast, less flickering, revealing complete scenes he had long tried to push out of his mind.  
  
He was in a narrow street, tall, unwelcoming buildings with bare, windowless walls looming up on both sides. Blood was on his hands, splattered onto his face and his clothes, his or someone else's, he didn't know. Probably not his, he thought. As much as he wished it was, he didn't feel any pain. Looked like he had won this one again, and he didn't know why.  
  
Three figures were spread out on the ground before him, one kneeling, one sprawled over the floor, the third one slumped against the concrete wall on the side of the street. All of them were disheveled and bruised and bleeding, one of them bending his leg at an unnatural angle, another one clutching his arm and feebly trying to move it. Pain was drawn across their features, pain and fear as they raised their eyes to stare up at Kuro in horror.  
  
What had he done?  
  
Kuro wasn't sure how the situation had started. All he remembered were shouts and insults, and the next thing he knew he had been caught up in the middle of the fight, warding off the attacks from three sides without understanding what they wanted. They were older than him, taller. They could beat him up with ease, he thought. And he had wanted to let them. He had wanted to lose this fight, he had wanted to be the one cowering on the ground clutching broken limbs in their stead, anything. Anything to prove that he was human, defeatable. Anything to prove that he wasn't a monster.  
  
But in the end it wasn't them he had lost to. It was his own survival instincts, kicking in and making him fight back, fight back as hard as he needed to free himself from them all, as hard as he needed... to produce these horrifying results.  
  
"You..." The tallest one of the three tried to straighten himself up, quickly flinching and collapsing back on the ground with a wince of pain. "Damn it..."  
  
Kuro stumbled towards him, extending a hand, but his opponent only shied away as if expecting to be hit again. A stab shot through his heart. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't know what to say.  
  
"I... uh..."  
  
"Don't say anything." The stranger gasped and spat out a mouthful of blood. "You monster."  
  
Kuro flinched back as if he had been hit. The words resonated through his body, a cold, merciless echo that ingrained itself in his mind, carving into his heart with a sharp, icy knife.  
  
They were right, he knew that. All of them were right. Every single one who had called him a monster, a killer, an abomination... they had been telling the truth. And yet it still hurt. He didn't want to be a monster. He wanted to be human. He wanted someone to tell him he was human, not a monster, no matter how dangerous he was in fights or how good he was at harming people.  
  
Not that it would ever happen, of course. He wasn't one of them. He didn't belong with them. All he could do, all he would ever be good at was hurting others, injuring them and breaking their bones and making them bleed.  
  
"You're strong."  
  
The voice of an adult snapped him out of his thoughts. Kuro gave a start. All his defenses snapped back into place. Adult voices at scenes like this were never a good thing. The others would make him out to be the villain again. No one would believe him when he tried to defend himself. He would get in trouble, and then–  
  
The man who approached him seemed to guess his thoughts, because he smiled, stepping around him and coming to a stop at his side with a non-threatening smile. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble," he said. "I know you're not at fault. I saw the whole scene."  
  
Kuro's eyes went wide. A part of him he didn't know he had started to swell up in his chest, strangely tingly and excited. This feeling... what was this feeling? He shouldn't trust this adult. For all he knew this could be a ruse. It could be a trick. And yet...  
  
He had wanted to hear these words for so long. He had wanted someone to believe him. Just one single person.  
  
Scary as it was, he wanted to trust this guy.  
  
"You know," the man said, reaching into his coat pockets and pulling out a set of bandages of all shapes and sizes, marching over to the injured boys and beginning to expertly patch them up like a professional doctor would, "that's quite a skill you have there. It's pretty rare for someone your age to already be this good at fighting."  
  
Kuro said nothing. He simply continued to stare at the stranger with wide eyes.  
  
"Where did you learn it?"  
  
Kuro didn't answer; he only frowned, pondering the question. Truth be told, he wasn't sure. Just like this fight, it had all just spiraled from somewhere, a series of ever-changing schools and classmates and always being the new kid with no friends, the one who was easy to bully and pick on. Defending himself was something that had happened on instinct, and then...  
  
"It just... happened."  
  
The stranger gave him a long look, as if debating whether to ask more questions or leave it be. Then he shrugged, and the anxious pounding that had spiked up in Kuro's chest subsided a little.  
  
"What grade are you in?" the man asked instead, still showing no signs of judging him, and Kuro's insides were beginning to feel frighteningly warm. No, he didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to be happy... grateful. This person had to be up to something. No one had ever liked him for who he was. His true self wasn't likable.  
  
So why... did this guy not seem to judge him? Why did he not dwell on his past or his suspicious, monstrous fighting skills but decide to change the subject to such a casual, nonchalant question? This wasn't the kind of question to ask someone like him. This was the kind of question normal kids were asked. And he wasn't normal.  
  
"Middle school," he muttered, avoiding the man's eyes. "First year."  
  
"I thought so." The man returned back to patching up the remaining injuries. "So that makes you, what? Twelve? Thirteen?"  
  
Kuro didn't know where to look. "Twelve."  
  
"Twelve... and already able to single-handedly defeat three taller and older guys." The man's voice was quiet, thoughtful, not judging but almost... sympathetic. Like he could tell that no one his age could get this strong without immense struggles, without the constant choice between fighting back and ending up in the hospital.  
  
"That's some amazing talent you've got there."  
  
Kuro's eyes went round. Blinking, he stared up at the strange man in front of him, his heart skipping a beat. Was he... being praised? For this violence?  
  
"Ta...lent...?"  
  
"Of course it's talent. What else should I call such skill?" The man smiled. "Even for someone who had to learn all this from an early age, achieving skill levels like that takes potential. You're a natural at this."  
  
 _A natural... at violence, huh. A natural at hurting people._  
  
Kuro tried to shake the thought. This man didn't seem to think that way. This man seemed to think his strength wasn't all that bad. Even if Kuro couldn't understand how.  
  
"You... don't think it's bad?"  
  
The man raised his eyebrows, and Kuro's heart skipped a beat. His hands clapped over his mouth. What had he said? What had he been thinking? This was impolite, he had made a mistake, he had–  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
Smiling, the man stepped away from the last of the attackers and stood in front of Kuro, leaning down a little to look him in the eyes. "Let me guess," he said. "You've probably been taught that this is violence and it's a bad thing at all times because it hurts people, right?"  
  
Kuro swallowed. And nodded.  
  
"Well, what if I told you you can also use it for good?"  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Kuro snapped out of his memories back into reality.  
  
Why had he remembered that just now? And why had it been... so vivid?  
  
"Kuro?" Mahiru's voice called through the door, strangely real and familiar after the memory a moment ago. "Are you awake?"  
  
Sitting up, Kuro made to call and realized that he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday.  
  
"Yeah," he said, frantically wondering what to do as he scrambled for the door. "Yeah – uh – hold on."  
  
He adjusted his shirt and tie, smoothed out his clothes, straightened his hair and hoped he looked more or less normal. Time to put the mask back on and pretend. If Mahiru saw through him, it was over.  
  
He opened the door, and for the moment he felt almost... normal. Not quite okay. But close.  
  
Mahiru blinked, staring up at him in wide-eyed, startled surprise. Kuro looked back at him with the blankest face he could possibly muster. The seconds ticked by. Neither of them said a word.  
  
"You, uh..." Mahiru broke the silence at last. "You're... already dressed?"  
  
Kuro shrugged, trying to play it off as no big deal and hoping Mahiru wouldn't notice. This was no big deal, he told himself. He'd done this a million times before. Years and years of practice of constantly fooling people into thinking he was fine when in reality he could barely remember how to function.  
  
"Couldn't sleep," he muttered.  
  
Mahiru frowned, and Kuro had to force himself not to squirm under his gaze. "You couldn't sleep?" he said. "Are you okay? You're not getting sick, right? It's not because of–"  
  
" _No._ "  
  
Mahiru flinched, and Kuro's insides froze. That had been too loud. Too desperate. His mask, his mask wasn't good enough... why wasn't it good enough? It had always worked. Pretending had always worked just fine, so why wasn't this the same?  
  
 _Quick, act like you always do. Play it off. Cover it up. If you show any more emotion than that he'll notice._  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not getting sick." Kuro leaned against the doorframe, avoiding Mahiru's eyes as he channeled some attempt at a lighthearted, amused face. It was hard. How did he even look when he was amused? He tried to imagine the feeling... but his mind came up blank. He didn't have the energy to channel happy feelings right now.  
  
"What a pain. Even I can have trouble sleeping sometimes without getting sick," he said, hoping that his face and voice would simply adjust to the joking tone of his words. "No need to be such a worrywart, Mahiru."  
  
Mahiru didn't yell back at him. He only continued to gaze at him with the same slight frown as before.  
  
"You can take today off if you want," he said at last. "I can tell the teachers you're sick."  
  
Kuro's eyes went round. Even the heavy feeling in his chest was forgotten for the moment. All he felt was surprise, surprise and the lingering realization that he didn't know what to feel. If Mahiru, the same Mahiru who had dragged him out of bed every morning without fail and yelled at him for even thinking of skipping class, was telling him to stay in bed... what was he supposed to do with that?  
  
And what was he supposed to reply?  
  
The suggestion was tempting, so tempting. He wasn't sure how he was on his feet at all, and even the thought of going somewhere and attending classes felt physically exhausting, numbing his mind and his limbs and turning them to lead. Staying in bed and resting today, simply doing nothing and not facing anything or anyone, sounded so very inviting.  
  
Except then he'd really be skipping class. After all, it wasn't like he had a good excuse to stay home. He wasn't sick or anything. The only thing he was was tired and a little depressed, and that really didn't justify being coddled like this. All his past guardians and teachers were right. There was nothing wrong with him, nothing that couldn't be solved by pulling himself together.  
  
So pull himself together he could. Because if he couldn't, he'd be weak. He'd be a failure and a disappointment, even more than he already was.  
  
"Nah," he said with a shrug, struggling to keep his gaze focused as the spiteful voices grew a little louder in his head once more. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm gonna go."  
  
\---  
  
This... was strange.  
  
Mahiru didn't understand anything either. All he knew was that something was wrong. And not just a little. Something was seriously wrong, and he didn't know what to make of it at all.  
  
Yesterday he had thought Kuro was simply upset, but this was getting weird. He had seen Kuro upset before, he had seen how he acted, and never before had he come close to anything like this. This was beyond sadness, or anger, or any other emotion Mahiru knew a word for. This seemed worse. And Mahiru didn't know what was scarier, that realization itself or the fact that he didn't know what was wrong with Kuro at all.  
  
He hadn't encountered anything like this before. Everyone he had spoken to had been at least somewhat responsive, but with Kuro he felt like he was shouting at someone in the distance who couldn't hear his voice, simply repeating the same phrases over and over because he didn't know what else to reply. No, it wasn't that. It was as if Kuro was hidden behind a glass wall, and everything Mahiru said bounced directly off it without getting through to him at all.  
  
Even right now, as they sat next to each other in class, Kuro didn't seem fully there, fully real. If anything he seemed like an impostor, a stand-in who had been sent to try and act like the normal Kuro but couldn't do much more than read his usual lines, or a hologram projected onto his real form to act like his usual self while the real Kuro behind the projection suffered in silence.  
  
Mahiru knew something about people. And he knew when someone was pretending. Kuro was obviously pretending. It was clear as day; he could see the strain on him, the lack of genuine emotion behind everything he did.  
  
But... how should he help him?  
  
Kuro wouldn't even tell him what was wrong. He was refusing to acknowledge something was wrong at all. Maybe just towards Mahiru, maybe even towards himself too. If only Mahiru could look into his head and understand. He wanted to know. He wanted to be able to help.  
  
 _Kuro, I... don't know you at all._  
  
He thought he understood Kuro. He thought he knew him well. But when he saw him like this, he couldn't help feeling like he didn't know a single thing.  
  
What was it that was going through Kuro's head at the moment? What was it that he remembered, what he felt, what he was trying to hide? What had he gone through? What did he fear? What was it that was making him so desperate to try and bottle up his feelings while insisting he was fine when he usually had no problems opening up to Mahiru about fears and bad feelings?  
  
His hand balled up into a fist under the desk. Kuro didn't seem to notice. His eyes were seemingly focused on the desk, but in reality he was staring at nothing, his relaxed position somehow forced. Mahiru wondered what he might be thinking about, if he was thinking of anything at all. Just from looking at his face or thinking back on what Kuro had told him, he couldn't tell. He didn't know.  
 _  
Kuro... you...  
  
I know you're my friend, but... who exactly are you?_  
  
\---  
  
Too many noises. Too many people. Too much of everything.  
  
The classroom wasn't even that loud or that bright or that crowded, but it was still too much. His senses were overloading. His head was splitting. Something tense and anxious grew in his chest, darker and bigger and heavier by the second, a dread and foreboding of something terrifying that was to come. It was about to get worse again, he knew it. The voices in his head were growing louder. The walls were closing in.  
  
He threw a glance at Mahiru, but that didn't comfort him at all. On the contrary. Somehow looking at Mahiru's face made everything even worse. The shadow inside him grew, larger and larger, darker and darker, threatening to reach out and consume him whole.  
  
What was he so afraid of?  
  
He couldn't say. All he knew was that he was frightened. Acutely frightened. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get away. If he had to sit here, among people who could see him, listen to the teacher's voice and pretend to be fine any longer, he would break down. His leg was bouncing, his lungs were full, too full, about to burst... Why did they feel so full? He tried to breathe... but no air came in. Oxygen... he needed oxygen...  
  
 _Crap, he was shaking._  
  
Voices in his head. Feelings. Louder and louder, tuning out the teacher's voice, tuning out everything. All he could hear was the sound of his own fears and self-hatred.  
  
Shadows... darkening... trying to swallow him...  
  
He couldn't breathe...  
  
Shaking. Why was he shaking, he couldn't control the shaking...  
  
 _Must... breathe..._  
  
He needed to... something... he...  
  
He couldn't do this.  
  
"Sorry, Teach," he said, standing up from his chair with the last composure he had left. "I'm not feeling well. I'm gonna go to the nurse's office."  
  
"Wha– hold on!" He didn't turn back as her voice rang after him. "Do you need anyone to go with you? What's the matter? Ku–"  
  
The door closed behind him, and he stumbled through the hallway into the nurse's office, grateful to find it empty. No one around to watch him here. No one around to witness his weakness that was so close to overwhelming him now.  
  
Staggering into the hindmost corner, away from anyone who could possibly come in and see him, he collapsed on the ground, curled up into a ball and stopped fighting for now.  
  
\---  
  
The first period ended, and Kuro still wasn't coming back.  
  
Mahiru shifted in his seat, glancing back at the door for what felt like the millionth time. Ever since Kuro had disappeared, he hadn't stopped squirming impatiently and staring at the door, hoping it would open to reveal Kuro standing in the doorframe, looking tired but otherwise fine. The clock had stopped moving entirely. The class had taken forever to end, forever until Mahiru could finally go and check up on Kuro.  
  
Now that he was free, he didn't waste a second. Jumping from his seat, he ignored Ryuusei and Koyuki's startled shouts and made for the door, throwing it open and running outside.  _No running in the hallways!_  the disciplinary committee part of him shouted, but the rest of him didn't care. This was an emergency. Not rule applied when there was an emergency strong enough to set it aside for the moment.  
  
Part of him wondered if this was his fault. If he shouldn't have brought Kuro to school today after all, if he should have let him stay home. Going here had obviously been too much for him, if he had barely lasted half an hour. Even if he had recovered a little now, how was he supposed to survive the whole school day? He shouldn't stay here. He shouldn't have come here at all.  
  
But Kuro had insisted, Mahiru told himself. He had claimed to be fine. He had told him over and over that he wasn't sick, there was no need to worry, he could go to class as usual. But he hadn't been fine, and this was the result.  
  
What was he supposed to do?  
  
There was only one option. When he found Kuro he'd make him admit the truth, and then he'd sent him home to rest. Anything else wouldn't just be irresponsible, it would be dangerous. Although... leaving Kuro alone...  
  
If only he could skip class and spend the day with Kuro. He didn't even have to do anything. Just being there and watching over him, making sure things didn't get too bad, would take a huge burden off his shoulders. But what should he do? The school would never allow him to skip for a reason like that!  
  
Damn it, why did he only have the choice between wrong options? No matter what he did, everything seemed like it would only make things worse!  
  
Gasping and panting, he stumbled up to the nurse's office, skidding to a halt just in time to remember not to barge in without warning. With one hand reaching out to catch himself against the doorframe, he knocked and waited for a reply. The nurse's, probably. No matter how much he wished it was Kuro's voice who would answer him, he didn't dare get his hopes up.  
  
"Come in," said a voice, and of course it was the nurse. Mahiru's heart sank a little. It wasn't like he had expected anything else, but he was still disappointed. Disappointed and worried.  
  
"Excuse me," he said breathlessly, opening the door and stumbling inside, his gaze hectically flitting over the room, searching for any signs of Kuro. There were none. "My friend said he wanted to come here some time ago, is he still here?"  
  
The nurse glanced around, then she frowned and shook her head. "I haven't seen anyone here today," she said. "Although I was needed in the gym, so I wasn't here for some time, but..." She stood up and inspected the room again. "I haven't seen anyone since I came here. Maybe he left already?"  
  
"Maybe," Mahiru muttered as his mind started to race. Kuro wasn't here. He had said he was going to the nurse's office, but he hadn't come here. Not for long, at least. Then where was he? Could he have returned to the classroom? But then Mahiru would have run into him on the way, wouldn't he? So that couldn't be. But then...  
  
Where else could he be?  
  
Was he still in the school building somewhere? Maybe he had gone to the bathroom. Maybe he was outside, needing some fresh air or something. Or...  
  
Or maybe he had gone back to his room?  
  
But that wouldn't make sense. He had insisted on going to school. He had to be here somewhere. But where?  
  
The bell rang.  
  
Mahiru gave a startled jolt, staring at the clock on the wall and swallowing. Crap, he had completely forgotten about the end of the break. The next class was already supposed to be starting and he was still here. He was going to be late!  
  
Part of him wondered if he should simply skip. Ditch class and go looking for Kuro, try to find out where he was and what he was doing and if he was okay, if he needed help or company or anything else. Going back to the classroom like this didn't feel right. It felt like he was abandoning his friend, choosing something as common as studies over his safety and well-being.  
  
But what else should he do? He didn't know where Kuro was or where to look for him. If any teachers found him roaming the hallways outside of classes without aim he would probably get in trouble, and Kuro would definitely blame himself for that when he found out. Besides, the others would be worried. He hadn't taken the time to tell anyone where he was going when he ran out, and they would definitely be concerned when he didn't come back.  
  
Cursing everything and everyone, he turned on his heel, running back to the classroom and stumbling inside seconds before the teacher. His eyes automatically flitted to Kuro's seat. It was still empty.  
  
Of course it was. He didn't know what else he had expected.  
  
Looked like he'd have to wait and see, then. Maybe Kuro would come back soon. Maybe he would skip this class and then return in the break, or whenever else he felt like it. Maybe he had gone back to the dorm, and he would hear from him soon. Either way, if he didn't show up Mahiru would just have to go looking for him during lunch break or whenever he got the first free minute to do it. It wasn't like he could have gone far... right?  
  
Just in case, he should probably text him.  
  
Glancing around to make sure the teacher wasn't watching, he broke yet another school rule to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. But when the screen lit up, something else was waiting for him with the bright flicker of an incoming notification.  
  
A text. But not from Kuro; it was from Mikuni.  
  
 _In light of recent developments, I think we should speed up our meeting a little. Come talk to me as soon as possible._  
  
\---  
  
"The poor thing," Tsurugi muttered as he gazed outside, watching the lone figure curled up between bushes and trees, small and hidden and trying to cover eyes and ears at the same time. "Touma-sensei was right, he really is fragile. To think that this much stress over a friend befriending someone else would send him into a spiral like this..."  
  
Yumikage leaned over, looking down at the figure below with a scowl on his face. "You knew this, didn't you?" he said. "That's why you did all this. 'Cause you knew he'd fall into a hole and shut down, right?"  
  
"Not directly. I was only hoping for a disagreement or two." Tsurugi smiled. "But this is going better than I thought. Look at him. He needs help, doesn't he?"  
  
"Looks like he really could–"  
  
"Shirota Mahiru-kun," Tsurugi continued without letting Yumikage finish, still not taking his eyes away from Kuro's small, helpless form. "You're known for being a patient, loyal friend, but... how long can even you put up with this before you break?"


	52. Vigilantes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't worry, I won't keep you long. There's only something I need you to know about the student council... or rather, about most of its members."

Lunch break. At last.  
  
Mahiru jumped from his seat, ready to run out and go looking for Kuro again when his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he stopped in his tracks. A message... that could only mean two things. Either it was from Kuro, or...  
  
 _Remember what I told you earlier, Mahiru-kun? Meet me on the roof right now. Don't worry about getting the key._  
  
Mahiru gritted his teeth. Dammit. Mikuni. Of course he'd want to meet up right now, at the very moment where he could have gone looking for Kuro in peace for the first time.  
  
He half considered not going. After all, how important could this talk with Mikuni be, anyway? He barely had any idea what it should be about in the first place. Could it really not wait until later? Kuro's safety could be at stake. For all Mahiru knew he might be holed up somewhere, unable to escape his thoughts and fears and unable to move. And besides... Kuro was simply more important to him, as a person.  
  
But Mikuni had been acting strange. From the early-morning phone call to these increasingly worrying texts, everything about his behavior emitted a sense of urgency that didn't seem like him at all. He had even moved up their meeting to the earliest possible moment, and Mahiru was pretty sure he wouldn't do that without an important reason. Maybe he knew something that affected his and Kuro's safety too, or maybe it was even about the fate of the whole group. Maybe whatever he needed to communicate was dangerous, or time-sensitive. Or maybe... maybe he even know where Kuro was.  
  
He couldn't risk not going there.  
  
 _I'm on my way,_  Mahiru texted back as he hurried through the hallways, past the rows and rows of students heading for the cafeteria and towards the staircase, climbing up the stairs two and three at a time. If Kuro was with Mikuni, he needed to get to him as fast as he could. And if he wasn't, it was best to get this meeting over with so that he still had enough time to go searching for Kuro. In any case he needed to get up to the roof as soon as possible.  
  
The school roof was off-limits, but the door was unlocked, and Mahiru barely stopped to peer around before pushing it open and being greeted by blinding sunlight. He blinked, willing his eyes to adjust to the light already as he let his gaze roam around in search of any people. He recognized Jeje's stack of paper bag masks around the corner. Mikuni wasn't in sight, but if Jeje was there, he had to be in the same place. Where Kuro was he didn't know.  
  
"Mikuni-san?" he asked, and both Mikuni and Jeje stepped around the corner to stand in front of him. Mahiru waited, but no one followed them. They hadn't brought Kuro with them. He wasn't here.  
  
In that case he needed to get this over with as quickly as possible.  
  
"Good morning, Mahiru-kun," Mikuni said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. A shadow seemed to rest over his face, cold and quiet and ruthless, making a chill run down Mahiru's spine as he hurried to avoid his dark, hollow-seeming eyes.  
  
"You're probably wondering why I called you up here today, and why I made such a big deal out of this." Mikuni's eyes flitted from side to side, as if to make sure they were unobserved. "Don't worry, I won't keep you long. There's only something I need you to know about the student council... or rather, about most of its members."  
  
Mahiru frowned, surprised. "Why? You're part of the student council too, aren't you?"  
  
"I am." Mikuni smirked, and for a moment he lowered his head, something passing over his face that Mahiru couldn't identify. "But what I'm no longer part of is the organization most of its members are in. Putting them all into student council is only a cover-up so they can keep this school under their control."  
  
Mahiru's eyes went wide. "An organization? You don't mean–"  
  
"Not a gang, no. Not in the classical sense." Mikuni motioned him away from the door and around the corner again, and Mahiru followed. "This group – whatever it is – is called the Criminal Control Committee, or C3 for short. They're... vigilantes, if you will."  
  
"Vigilantes?"  
  
"Yes. They have made it their task to keep street gangs in check, but their methods are... unorthodox. Let's say that a lot of it happens by incapacitating their leaders or otherwise taking over gangs and installing a regime of fear before dissolving the gang, with the threat that they'll come after anyone who tries to reassemble it. And they make good on their threats, you know. They have ways of finding out anything." Mikuni lowered his voice, staring straight into Mahiru's eyes. "Do you understand now? They are not your allies. They're your natural enemies."  
  
Mahiru swallowed, another chill running down his spine. His body tensed up. He wasn't sure if he should believe all this. For all he knew Mikuni might be messing with him again, and this might be the setup to another joke of his, but... looking at him, at his face, his solemn, bitter eyes, listening to his voice was more than enough to make him understand this was nothing but the truth.  
  
And yet...  
  
"But... they're not going after the Servamps," he said quietly, doubtfully. "They only want our help to stop Tsubaki's gang, right? I mean, the Servamps dissolved ages ago, there's no need to fight them anymore."  
  
Mikuni paused, visibly taken aback, then he sighed with the look of someone who was mildly disappointed but not at all surprised. "Mahiru-kun, Mahiru-kun..." He shook his head. "You really are too naïve."  
  
"That's–"  
  
"I know, I know. Trusting people isn't bad." Mikuni waved off Mahiru's protests before he could manage to voice them. "But you have to be careful with who you trust. And in the case of C3, I know what I'm about. I was part of their inner circle, after all."  
  
Mahiru only frowned. "But–"  
  
"No buts. Listen." Mikuni leaned even closer, lowering his voice to barely more than a whisper. "To C3, once you've been part of a gang, you are always an enemy. No matter how long it has been, if you so much as get in touch with another former or current gang member, you become a threat and an enemy. If you try anything at all, no matter if it's truly dangerous or for a good cause, if they see it as potentially dangerous, they shoot it down with every means they have."  
  
Mahiru shuddered. Somehow the wind felt chilly against his skin, or perhaps it was the weight of Mikuni's words that made him feel the cold all the more acutely. He tried to stomach the thought. Tsurugi, no, the whole student council... none of them were their allies. They weren't on their side. They were trying to work against the Servamps too, even if he wasn't sure how.  
  
Mikuni's words were believable, extremely so. And yet some part of him couldn't help feeling like he might still be wrong.  
  
"But you left the group years ago," he insisted, even if he felt a little like a stubborn child doing it. "How do you know they haven't changed? I mean, they apologized for threatening us before. And Tsurugi-san is trying to help me become a better partner for Kuro in fights. Maybe they really are just after Tsubaki's group and will leave us alone! They wouldn't ask us to team up with them otherwise, right?"  
  
"Wrong."  
  
Another shadow fell over Mikuni's face, darker and colder and more lingering than all the ones before. "This is part of their scheme," he said. "They try to charm you into thinking they are on your side, and then they destroy you from within. I don't know what exactly they're trying to do with you all, but believe me. They'll only keep from harming you as long as you seem useful. After that they'll toss you like a used napkin."  
  
His words made so much sense.  
  
Everything Mikuni said, everything he tried to tell him was believable, Mahiru knew. Mikuni wasn't lying to him. Mikuni wasn't trying to mislead him on purpose, he wasn't that kind of person. He sounded like he knew the organization too well to be wrong, too. And yet...  
  
And yet... he couldn't do it. He couldn't mistrust Tsurugi and his companions as completely as Mikuni did. Maybe it was his nature, his personality refusing to let him doubt people so much, or perhaps it just didn't match with his own observations, he didn't know. All he knew was that it felt wrong. Mikuni's knowledge was one thing, but the present was the other, and he knew better than anyone how much people could change in a short span of time. After all, back in middle school Kuro and the others had still been a gang too, a bunch of troublemakers, dreaded and feared before turning their backs on violence and starting to lead normal lives in high school. Tsurugi and the other members of C3 could have had the same change of heart. And if that was true, he didn't want to make the mistake of doubting them and losing powerful allies.  
  
"I... know you don't trust them," he began, unwavering in spite of Mikuni's darkening gaze. "But I want to give them a chance. They–"  
  
"Does your Servamp friend trust them?"  
  
Mahiru stopped short, taken aback. "What?"  
  
"Does he?"  
  
Mahiru tensed, shuddering under the weight of Mikuni's dark, glowering gaze. His eyes had frozen over, but behind that layer of ice something burned in the distance, something sharp and piercing and all-perceiving.  _He knows something,_  a thought flashed through his head.  _Something he doesn't want to tell me._  
  
"Uh... Kuro?" Mahiru thought back to all their interactions, all their conversations since Tsurugi had contacted him. "Well... not really, no..."  
  
Mikuni's gaze didn't waver. "And you have never asked yourself why that may be?"  
  
What was he implying?  
  
"Well," Mahiru said, "a little, but... I just thought they had some kind of history together, since Kuro used to be in a gang and C3 basically hunts gangs and everything. I mean, they must've been enemies before, so..."  
  
"What if I told you he once trusted them too?"  
  
Mahiru stopped in his tracks. Wide-eyed, he stared at Mikuni, unsure what to reply in his disbelief.  
  
"Kuro... did?" he repeated, half wondering if he had heard him wrong. "Kuro... trusted... C3?"  
  
"Surprising, isn't it?" Mikuni smiled. "But it's true. I won't go into the details, but I can guarantee that he has regretted trusting them ever since he realized his mistake. After all..." He raised an eyebrow. "Did you never ask yourself how the Servamps disbanded?"  
  
"Wait, you don't mean...?"  
  
"These people were a part of it, yes. Or rather, the largest part of it is their fault." Closing his eyes, Mikuni leaned back against the wall behind him, letting his hair fall into his face. "And although I don't doubt your friend doesn't miss the gang and violence, I wouldn't be surprised if he feels sorry for some... circumstances."  
  
Mahiru didn't say anything. He was stunned speechless. Something moved in his head, gears turning faster and faster until they produced a memory.  
  
 _Who's gonna die this time?  
  
For once I agree with big brother! _ _I remember. I remember everything. And if you think I'll ever forgive you or trust you again, you are mistaken!_  
  
Kuro and Hyde had been so serious back then, so uncharacteristically serious. Eerily so. Kuro wasn't usually the type to throw around accusations either. And for Hyde to hate someone this openly...  
  
Had someone died back then? Had C3's actions, the way they had forced the gang to disband, somehow managed to get someone killed? Or... had they forced the gang to kill someone else?  
  
What had happened back then, exactly?  
  
"So you've heard a few things," Mikuni said, eyeing his face with that knowing smile of his. "They did drop a few hints after all, didn't they? That's more than I expected from some of them."  
  
"I... well, kind of..."  
  
"Then you should know all you need." Mikuni shoved himself off the wall, motioning for Jeje to follow him as he paced towards the door. "Don't agree to anything they offer you. Don't let them into your life. I don't know what exactly they're up to with you, but I can tell it's nothing good." He reached for the door handle. "I'll take care of the rest."  
  
"Mikuni-san, wait!"  
  
Mahiru stumbled after him, shocked, startled and confused. Why was he leaving already when there was so much still left unexplained. "Aren't you going to tell me what happened back then?"  
  
Mikuni paused. He didn't turn around, and when he spoke his voice was quiet, so quiet that Mahiru had to strain himself to hear the words over the sound of the wind.  
  
"I could tell you," he said, "but it's best to ask the ones who were directly involved, isn't it?"  
  
And before Mahiru could say anything else, he shut the door and disappeared into the staircase.  
  
Mahiru stayed behind, baffled and puzzled beyond measure. His mind was still trying to wrap itself around everything he had just heard, struggling to process it. The student council– no, C3 wasn't an ally. They were supposed to be an enemy out to destroy all gangs, vigilantes that fought using methods even he had already witnessed firsthand. They had broken apart the Servamps in the past, and someone might have died in the process. The student council... might be responsible for getting someone killed.  
  
Should he believe that? Was it true? And if it was, what was he supposed to do?  
  
Just looking at previous actions, Mikuni was definitely the more trustworthy one here. He hadn't lied or tricked him before, and the only time Mahiru knew he had done something dangerous or forbidden it had been to protect his little brother. The student council, on the other hand, was a different matter. They had detained him against his will before, him and Kuro both, and it wasn't impossible that they might do the same again. They had apologized, sure. But was that apology genuine? And if it wasn't, what were they secretly up to?  
  
He had good reasons to believe Mikuni and even better reasons to doubt C3. And yet some part of him wasn't fully comfortable.  
  
Maybe... he just didn't like to be told who to trust and what to do, he thought. He didn't want this information presented to him on a platter, served by someone who might be biased. He wanted to find out for himself.  
  
Yes, that was it. He would be careful. He would try not to trust Tsurugi or the others too much, even if doubting people already went against his nature, and he would observe. He would try to find out, to understand. What C3 was up to. What they wanted to do. What they had done before. If they had seen the error of their ways, and if they could be reasoned with. He was sure at least some of them had to be reasonable and willing to team up for real. Every new ally would be worth the trouble.  
  
That was also what he would tell Kuro. Maybe that wouldn't calm him down completely, but it might relax him a little, knowing Mahiru didn't trust Tsurugi and the others unconditionally and was willing to observe first. It was worth a try, in any case.  
  
Now he just needed to find Kuro.  
  
Mahiru still didn't have any idea where he was, but he could try to call him. Or text him. With a little bit of luck he would answer, and then he could decide what to do. He just hoped Kuro was okay. As okay as his current situation allowed, anyway.  
  
Opening the door, he pulled out his phone as he walked down the staircase, dialing Kuro's number and waiting. He didn't dare hope. Knowing Kuro, he might have muted his phone, or maybe he had fallen asleep and couldn't hear it or had left it at the dorm entirely. And even if he did see the call, there was no knowing if he would answer. In his current state...  
  
He let it ring, rinng, ring... and then the voicemail answered.  
  
Mahiru sighed, trying not to feel disappointed. That non-response could mean anything, from simply missing the call to ignoring it on purpose, and he honestly wasn't sure what he should hope for. If Kuro had missed the call, he probably wouldn't see any text messages either. But if he was deliberately ignoring him, he definitely wouldn't read them.  
  
 _Hey,_  he typed into the screen nonetheless, hoping against hope, _where are you? Everything okay?_  
  
He hit the Send button... and walked face-first into a figure in the hallway.  
  
"Whoa– sorry!" he burst out, staggering back as the figure in front of him did the same. His eyes flitted up. He just hoped this wasn't a teacher; if the head of the disciplinary committee was caught texting while walking down the staircase to the forbidden rooftop, he'd never hear the end of it.  
  
It wasn't a teacher, though. It was Kurumamori Junichirou.  
  
"Oh, sorry," he said, looking as startled as Mahiru felt. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Y-Yeah," Mahiru stuttered out before stopping in his tracks. He had been this close to starting a friendly conversation with him, but Jun was also part of the student council, he realized. He had been there when Tsurugi and the others had restrained him. And he was one of Tsurugi's closest friends. The likelihood of him being a dangerous C3 member was too high not to be at least a little careful.  
  
Even if he couldn't believe that someone as serious and responsible-looking as him should have done anything really bad.  
  
Jun adjusted his glasses, his expression friendly. "Sorry about that," he said. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."  
  
"Ah, no!" Mahiru raised his hands in a hectic gesture. "I was on my phone while I walked, so..."  
  
Jun frowned at him in what looked like genuine, straightforward concern. "On your phone at school, while walking?" he asked, and for a split second Mahiru wondered if he would lecture him for behavior like that. "Did something happen?"  
  
Mahiru blinked in surprise, taken aback for the moment. "Uh... what makes you think that?"  
  
"Just a guess. You don't seem like the type to do something like this without good reason is all." Jun met his gaze, dark eyes resting on his features as if observing the tiniest change in his expression. "Besides, it's pretty rare for you to miss lunch, isn't it? Whatever brought you up here must be pretty important if you're willing to go hungry for it."  
  
A warm flush spread over Mahiru's face. Pretty important, yeah. That was one way to put it. If it was about Kuro, he was ready to skip lunch for his sake anytime. Even if Kuro would probably tease him and complain when he found out, he thought.  
  
"Well, it's..." What should he say? He was itching to tell the truth, to just take his chance and ask if Jun had seen Kuro anywhere, but he needed to be careful. This guy was part of C3. C3 was a wild card in this equation, a group he probably shouldn't trust with this information for now. Who knew what they might use it for. Misono and Mikuni would definitely tell him not to reveal any vulnerable spots to the enemy.  
  
Except this guy wasn't just C3. He was Jun from the student council. A calm, serious, reliable person who kept his two more eccentric friends in check and got the job done. And Mahiru really, really needed to find Kuro again. After all, if he was in trouble somewhere, or if he was sick or passed out again and needed help, he couldn't waste a second.  
  
"I'm looking for Kuro," he said, simple and straightforward. "He disappeared earlier and hasn't come back since, have you seen him anywhere?"  
  
Jun looked surprised for a second, then he frowned, a frown that might be either confused or concerned or possibly both, Mahiru couldn't tell. "Kuro...?"  
  
"Yeah." Mahiru shifted awkwardly. "You don't happen to have seen him anywhere, right? You know, my friend..."  
  
"I know. And I'm thinking." Jun closed his eyes, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose and frowning as he muttered, "I think I might've seen him earlier... It was only from a window though. I'm not sure."  
  
"Where?"  
  
The frantic urgence in Mahiru's voice surprised even him. Was he really that panicked, that desperate to find Kuro?  _Get a grip,_  Mikuni's voice said in his head.  _You don't know if you can trust this guy. It's best not to show just how worried you are._  
  
Except... screw that. He was worried. Kuro was his best friend right now, and he had disappeared, and he wasn't doing well. Anyone would be worried. He could show it.  
  
"Where is he?" he demanded. "Can you show me the way?"  
  
"That's..."  
  
"Even if you're not sure. Where do you think you saw him?"  
  
Jun frowned and sighed.  
  
"I'm trying to remember," he said. "I'm not sure, but if I remember correctly..."  
  
Mahiru didn't wait for him to finish. Brushing past him, he hurried along the hallway towards the next staircase leading down. "Let's go!" he shouted. "Please show me the place, Kurumamori-senpai!"  
  
"Jun's just fine..."  
  
"Jun-san, then. Please show me!"  
  
Jun gave a brief nod, then he hurried to catch up to Mahiru, overtake him and lead the way, pacing through the hallway to the staircase and walking down, always taking two steps at a time. Mahiru followed behind, eager to run even faster, get to Kuro even quicker, but he restrained himself, gritting his teeth in an effort to try and not step on Jun's heels in impatience.  
  
They turned a corner, then Jun stopped so abruptly that Mahiru walked face-first into him. Stumbling back, he blinked and peered around only to find the reason for the sudden stop in front of him.  
  
"Tsurugi," Jun said in startled surprise. "Yumi. Why aren't you guys at lunch?"  
  
The two in question exchanged a glance, then Tsurugi smiled that feline smile of his, stretching. "We were done eating," he said. "Besides, why weren't you at lunch?" He put on a mock pout, wiped his eyes and sniffled. "You ditched us, did you? Jun-chan, you have no heart."  
  
"Shut up," Jun said flatly, hitting him over the head. "I had to help the teacher with some errands is all. I didn't think it would take long."  
  
"Oh, really? And that isn't just some excuse you came up with on the spot? Let's be real, Yumi-chan, doesn't it look like our friend is trying to ditch us?"  
  
"He totally does. We should pay him back for lying."  
  
"Listen to me, you two!"  
  
Mahiru squirmed. Every second these three stood here talking and bantering felt like an eternity to him, ticking away to shorten the time until he had to go back to class, lowering his chances of finding Kuro before this afternoon. "Excuse me," he said. "Not to interrupt, but..."  
  
Jun gave a nod and muttered an apology, ready to keep going, but Tsurugi leaned down, taking notice of him for the first time. "Mahiru-kun!" he exclaimed, his eyes round with what might or might not be genuine surprise. "What are you doing with Jun-chan? Did you have to run errands too?"  
  
"No... well, that's–"  
  
"We're looking for someone," Jun said briefly. "And we're in a bit of a hurry, so could you just...?"  
  
"Hmm, don't tell me." Tsurugi pursed his lips as if thinking hard. "You don't happen to be looking for your friend, Mahiru-kun? You know... Kuro?"  
  
Mahiru tensed up. One part of him was alarmed. The other was eager, eager for any and all information about Kuro's fate, and that eagerness pushed aside all semblance of worry. Maybe he should be more careful. Maybe he shouldn't tell the truth here. But right now he didn't care.  
  
"Have you seen him?" he blurted out, stumbling to stand beside Jun, staring up at Tsurugi with wide, frantic eyes. "Where is he? Is he okay?"  
  
Tsurugi raised an eyebrow. "You must be very worried, Mahiru-kun," he said with a wistful little sigh. "What a touching friendship. Well, to my knowledge, he is–"  
  
"I'm already showing him where I last saw him," Jun interrupted him. "But thanks."  
  
Mahiru paused. Something seemed off about Jun's voice. It had become dark somehow, tense, as if he was unwilling to let Tsurugi take part in this for some reason, and his face was shadowed when Mahiru looked up at it. He didn't look or sound at all like someone who was simply refusing a friend's help. If Mahiru had to compare it to something, it would be... fear, perhaps?  
  
But why should Jun not trust his own friend?  
  
"Hey, now. Why so irritable, Jun-chan?" Tsurugi pouted at him as if nothing had happened. "Where are you two going, then?"  
  
"The schoolyard. I think I saw him between the trees earlier."  
  
Tsurugi raised both eyebrows. He exchanged a quick glance with Yumikage, both their expressions unreadable, then he turned back to Jun. "Oh, is that were he was before?"  
  
Mahiru whipped around to blink at him. "Before?"  
  
"Yes," Tsurugi said nonchalantly. "Because Yumi-chan and I just saw him behind the gym–"  
  
Mahiru didn't hesitate one second. Darting past both him and Yumikage, he ran down the hallway, sprinting across the building with a newfound sense of destination. "I got it!" he shouted back over his shoulder. "Thank you!"  
  
"Mahiru," Jun's voice rang out from behind him. "Wai–"  
  
He was interrupted by Tsurugi's voice, and Mahiru drowned them out. He had a chance to find Kuro. He had a place to check. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe he wouldn't find anyone. But it was worth a try.  
  
 _Kuro,_  he thought, sprinting down the stairs and hurrying out of the building.  _Hang in there. I'm on my way!_  
  
\---  
  
Kuro opened his eyes, unsure where he was or how he had got there.  
  
He didn't know what time it was. He didn't know how long he had been here, curled up on the ground, his face buried between his knees, blocking out all light and noise. Everything since this morning had become a blur, and he wasn't sure if he had been out here for five minutes or five hours.  
  
He did feel a little less bad than before, this much he was sure of. Not good, not by a long way. Just... not terrible. The self-hating voices in his head had become a little quieter, but they weren't gone, constantly whispering at him and calling him names and waiting for the first opportunity to grow louder until they blocked out everything else again.  
  
Kuro shuddered. That feeling... he didn't want it back. His memories were vague, but the echo of that terror, the frantic, mind-numbing panic from earlier was still etched into his mind, a lingering sensation that sooner or later that state would return. He didn't want it to return. The terror, the despair, the complete hopelessness... the feeling that he would never feel better again, that the voices would never shut up unless he–  
  
He wouldn't think about that. He shouldn't think about that. The voices were... they were wrong, he tried to tell himself. They were lying. It was hard to believe right now. But sooner or later, hadn't he always remembered that somehow?  
  
He'd be fine. Eventually he'd be fine. He had always been fine in the end.  
  
It felt like a lie.  
  
Sighing, Kuro stretched out his legs, idly letting his gaze roam over the ground and the handful of trees in front of him. Trying not to think about all the what ifs in his head. What if that pitch-dark, frantic state came back again? What if he wouldn't get better this time? What if the voices weren't lying after all? What if they were telling the truth, and his usual self was simply too blind to listen to them?  
  
If he fell into that dark hole again... he wasn't sure how many more times he could take it. He wasn't sure how many more times he could emerge out of it safe and alive and without breaking apart and shattering to pieces. He hadn't fallen this deep in a long time, he knew. Maybe once this was over, it would be another long time without it. But not forever. Never forever. And that thought itself was terrifying.  
  
 _Don't think about it,_  the more reasonable part of him said, or at least he hoped it was the voice of reason speaking.  _Don't worry about it right now. You're making it worse.  
_  
 _Yeah,_  said another voice in his head.  _Because making things worse is all I can ever do._  
  
He clenched his fists. Enough of that. He wouldn't think of it. He should think of something else... Where was he, for instance? Somewhere in the school yard... There were bushes around him, hiding him from sight, and behind his back stood a large tree, its gnarled roots extending into the earth on each side of him. The school building wasn't too far away, close enough for him to see into the ground floor windows and find the classrooms deserted except for a handful of people holding lunch boxes in their hands.  
  
So it was lunch break right now, he thought. He supposed that meant he should probably be feeling hungry. And yet, when he thought of food, his entire body recoiled, squirming away in something akin to disgust. He couldn't even think of eating anything right now. But even if he did, he wouldn't want to. Getting up and dragging himself to the cafeteria wasn't worth it.  
  
But the others, he thought, were probably all in the cafeteria now. Ryuusei and Koyuki had to be there, and Mahiru too, probably. Part of him wondered if that last part was a reason to get up after all, but when he thought of the smell of food his entire body shuddered with repulsion. Besides, they would definitely ask him questions about his disappearance, and he didn't have the energy to face that right now. Not that he'd know what to say in the first place. The truth wasn't an option, and he couldn't think of a lie.  
  
If he wasn't looking for Mahiru though... maybe Mahiru was somewhere looking for him?  
  
The spark of hope that had momentarily lit up in his chest flickered out and died on the spot. Yeah, right. Mahiru would never sacrifice his lunch break for someone like him. Or if he did, he shouldn't. At least he should get the food he needed and deserved, and Kuro would just stay here for a little longer. He could imagine worse places to stay. And it wasn't like he minded the solitude.  
  
He didn't... mind the solitude.  
  
Really. Definitely.  
  
Well... he did miss Mahiru. He did wish he would come and stay by his side, simply keeping him company even if he didn't do or say anything. He just wanted someone to come and assure him that he wasn't alone, that someone was there, thinking about him and caring.  
  
But he didn't mind being alone. Not enough to get up and bother Mahiru or anyone else. He'd simply stay here, and if he was found, he was found.  
  
Not that he really counted on it.  
  
\---  
  
Mahiru skidded to a halt behind the gym, his eyes darting from side to side and trying to be everywhere at once.  
  
"Kuro?" he shouted, so loudly his voice reverberated off the walls. "Kuro, are you here?"  
  
No answer.  
  
He ran from side to side, sprinting and stumbling, looking, searching every hidden corner, every nook and cranny, once, a second time. "Kuro! Kuro?"  
  
No answer. The handful of first-years playing basketball in the court nearby paused in their game to look at him in surprise. Other than that, there wasn't a soul.  
  
Mahiru didn't care about their stares. He just didn't care. Tsurugi had said he had seen Kuro here, so where was he? Why wasn't he here anymore? Had he left already? But where to?  
  
"Excuse me!" he shouted to the first-years, who looked half-torn between backing away and helping. "Have you seen my friend around here? Pretty tall, light blue hair, dark bags under his eyes...?"  
  
They exchanged a glance, and even before any of them spoke Mahiru already knew what the answer would be.  
  
"No," said the one closest to Mahiru, his expression confused and a little apologetic. "We haven't seen anyone since we got here."  
  
Another one nodded. "Yeah, and we've been here since the break started."  
  
They had been here all break. And they hadn't seen Kuro. Kuro hadn't been here all break, or if he had, he had been so well hidden that he would have been next to impossible to spot.  
  
But that could only mean...  
  
"Yeah. Okay," Mahiru stuttered out, hoping his fear and confusion didn't show on his face. "Okay... thanks anyway. Thank you!"  
  
Turning around, he stumbled back into the courtyard, his thoughts spinning round and round and round in his head.  
  
Kuro hadn't been behind the gym. At least he hadn't been here for the entirety of the break, or possibly he had never come here at all. Tsurugi had told him he and Yumikage had just seen him in that place, but he hadn't been there. Not in a way they could have spotted him in passing, at the very least. No, wait... what should they have been doing behind the gym anyway? It wasn't a place one just casually passed, was it?  
  
Had they been mistaken? Had they somehow, for a reason Mahiru didn't need to know, found themselves behind the gym and spotted someone who looked like Kuro? But he had no lookalikes in this school. And even if he did, those two seemed to know him well enough to tell the real thing from someone who only resembled him.  
  
But then... that only left one other explanation. One that tied in all too well with what Mikuni had told him earlier.  
  
Had they led him into the wrong place on purpose?  
  
Mahiru didn't want to think it. He didn't want to believe it, and yet this situation left him no choice. Tsurugi and Yumikage couldn't have made a mistake, and they had sent him here even though Kuro had never come to this place. That could only mean one thing, however he tried to turn it in his head, straining to twist it into something more favorable. They had both fooled him. On purpose.  
  
But... why? What had they done that for? What could possibly be the point of misleading him when he was looking for Kuro? A harmless prank? Or... could it be something more serious?  
  
He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to worry about their reasons; he could think about that later. What mattered right now was that he found Kuro and checked up on him. Wherever he was, if he wasn't here.  
  
Between the trees, Jun had said. That was where he had been trying to lead him, before the other two interrupted. Should Mahiru go and search there? It sounded like a trustworthy hint. Jun had seemed serious when he said that. And yet...  
  
Jun was also one of them, wasn't he? How could he trust him?  
  
Well, he thought, maybe this had nothing to do with the whole C3 thing. Maybe Tsurugi had just decided to play a very unfortunate prank, and Jun's offer to lead him to Kuro had been genuine. He hoped that was the case. But...  
  
What if it wasn't? What if they knew where Kuro was, and he wasn't under the trees either? What if something was wrong and they were trying to hide it from him? What if he was in trouble?  
  
Damn it, he really wished he had Kuro with him right now. Kuro would know how to calm him down. Kuro would make a sarcastic remark about how little it suited him to mistrust people and that he should just stop fretting and do his thing.  
  
 _Stop fretting... and do my thing.  
_  
He should go by gut feeling. Intuition. What was his intuition telling him? What should he do?  
  
Thinking simply, he should try the trees.  
  
Because if Kuro really was there, he'd regret it if he didn't at least try to find him.  
  
The bell rang, and Mahiru stopped in his tracks. Damn it, the break was over. He needed to get back to class, and still he hadn't found Kuro. And once his classes started again, he wouldn't get another chance to look for his friend for several hours.  
  
A mistake he had already made this morning. Not that it could be avoided. Rules were rules, and if he skipped class he would end up in trouble. He really needed to get back. And yet...  
  
Screw this. He had a perfect record. And this was an emergency.  
  
No matter how he looked at it, this really wasn't a difficult choice to make.  
  
\---  
  
Tsurugi raised an eyebrow as he glanced at his watch, the start-of-class bell still ringing in his ears.  
  
 _Shirota Mahiru-kun,_  he thought, opening his textbook and lowering his head to hide his face from view,  _just what did you end up doing? Did you go back to class? Or did you go after your friend?  
_  
 _Whichever it is, you have walked right into the trap._


	53. The Bad Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So he simply said what he always said when he didn't know what to answer.

The bell rang, and still there was no sign of Mahiru. The break was officially over, and no one had come to look for him after all.  
  
Kuro curled up closer, trying to shove down the disappointment in his gut. This didn't mean anything, he tried to tell himself. Maybe Mahiru had just not found him, or maybe he had been busy. And yet those thoughts rang hollow. That wasn't it, the voices in his head whispered. Mahiru hadn't bothered with him at all. Who would? Who would actually go through the trouble of looking for someone as helpless and troublesome as him?  
  
That wasn't true. That wasn't true. He tried to tell himself it wasn't true. But... the anxious knot inside him grew. The voices grew louder. Fear crept up on him from below, slowly enveloping him in its grasp, cold and dark and chilly despite the warm summer sun.  
  
He couldn't go on like this.  
  
He couldn't continue this way, always causing Mahiru trouble, always needing help and support and never able to give anything back the way he should. He couldn't keep on being a burden. He needed to stop this. One way... or another.  
  
He shuddered. No,  _that_  way wasn't something he could just do. Not right now. He still needed to help Mahiru, at least until Tsubaki was taken care of and the student council had left them alone, however long that was. He needed to teach him how to fight and protect others, and until then he needed to protect him by whatever means he could. Even if someone else could technically do the job. He wanted to at least try to repay him, and once he had paid back his debt for everything, he could always think about what to do. He'd just need to hold out until then. Hold out and not break apart and shatter into pieces, somehow.  
  
He needed to get a grip of himself again, as soon as he could. He needed to stay strong and not suffer any more breakdowns in the middle of a school day. He needed to go back to class and not skip anything anymore, and he needed to continue training Mahiru for possible fights.  _Even if Tsurugi can do that too,_  a voice said in his head.  _Tsurugi can do it a thosand times better._  
  
Didn't matter. He needed to try. Mahiru had asked him to help; until he called back that request, he should at least try to live up to his expectations. And maybe if he did well enough, Mahiru would actually choose him over Tsurugi.  
  
Or at least he wouldn't leave him, he thought.  
  
So what was he sitting around here doing nothing for? He needed to go back to class. And then he needed to think of a good way to teach Mahiru, and maybe also a strategy to keep him away from Tsurugi. He had a task now. Some reason to take up air and space instead of just wasting it. And somehow that alone made him feel a tiny bit better.  
  
"Kuro!"  
  
He stopped in his tracks. That voice...  
  
"Kuro!" Mahiru called again, and Kuro stood up, turning around to gaze at him with wide, incredulous eyes. This couldn't be. How on earth... no...  _why_...?  
  
He should be in class! What was he doing here?  
  
"Mahiru," he stammered out, gaping at him as he tried to sort out the words in his head. Was this an illusion? Had he perhaps fallen asleep? He wasn't dreaming, was he?  
  
Before he could follow any of those thoughts any further he found himself grabbed, and the hands shaking his shoulders felt very much real, just like the ensuing dizziness and the loud voice in his ears. "Kuro!" Mahiru shouted, his brown eyes wide and worried as they searched for Kuro's gaze until they met and held it. "At long last I found you! I've been looking for you everywhere! Just what have you been doing?"  
  
Something inside Kuro relaxed. The grip on his shoulders felt pleasantly real, solid, pushing aside some of the voices in his head and lightening the worries in his chest. Yet at the same time he felt ashamed. Mahiru was here, he wasn't in class, all because he had been searching for him. He had messed up and made Mahiru worry. His own best friend! What kind of friend did that?  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled, lowering his head and avoiding Mahiru's eyes. "I dunno."  
  
Mahiru gave another huff, then his voice grew more gentle, one hand letting go of Kuro's shoulder to reach into his hair and pull out a few twigs and leaves. "Don't worry about it," he said, brushing strands of hair out of Kuro's forehead and letting his hand linger on his temple, warm and reassuringly real. "Is everything okay? Do you need anything? If there's any way I can help you..."  
  
"I know." Kuro sighed and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the touch. "I don't really need anything though. But... thanks."  
  
Mahiru hesitated, then he smiled, playfully ruffling Kuro's hair and leaning against the trunk of the tree next to him. "Still, I'm glad I found you," he said. "I was really worried... and if I'm honest, I missed you."  
  
Kuro choked on air. "You... You did?"  
  
"Of course!" Mahiru smiled. "It's not the same without you sitting next to me. The classroom feels so empty."  
  
Kuro honestly didn't know what to reply to that.  _Lies,_  part of his brain whispered.  _He's lying. And even if he isn't, his feelings will change soon. Like everyone else's.  
_  
The rest of him, however, didn't want to care. The rest of him ignored the shadow lingering on his mind, simply relishing in Mahiru's presence and the sole fact that he wasn't alone anymore. Just having his friend nearby felt like comfort. And right now he was stable enough to be around him, stable enough to not need to put up a full mask for fear of breaking down in front of him.  
  
"Besides," Mahiru continued after some time, his smile fading into a look of torn exhaustion, "there's something else I need to talk to you about. Because I don't know what to think and thinking simply, you're the best one at calming me down."  
  
Kuro didn't know what to reply to that either. He just shifted uncomfortably, trying not to think of anything too hard. "What's up?"  
  
"Well... Mikuni-san told me about C3."  
  
Kuro blinked. For a second he wondered if he could have misheard, but Mahiru's voice had been loud and clear. "Did you just say... C3...?"  
  
Not the student council, but C3. The organization that had infiltrated it with some of its strongest members, staying on the heels of the former Servamps and observing them from the shadows. Mahiru knew about its existence now. Mikuni had told him.  
  
How much else had Mikuni told him? How much else... did he know?  
  
"I know a lot more now," Mahiru said, and Kuro froze solid on the spot. "I understand why you don't trust them... Mikuni-san explained it all. He told me how they used to work when he was still with them, and he told me they made the Servamps split up too."  
  
Kuro flinched.  
  
"How much?" he burst out before he knew what he was saying. "How much did he tell you?"  
  
"Just cryptic hints." Mahiru sighed, and Kuro's insides collapsed as a wave of relief washed over him. "I don't know how they did it or any details. All he told me was that they did."  
  
Releasing the breath that had been trapped in his lungs, Kuro slumped against the tree, closing his eyes. "Typical," he muttered, surprised by the sudden return of his sense of humor. "Always mysterious and shady. But this time he did the right thing."  
  
"Don't worry." Kuro didn't open his eyes to look at Mahiru, but he could hear the smile in his tone. "I wouldn't have let him tell me anything you wouldn't want me to hear, you know."  
  
Kuro sincerely hoped that was true. The dark, persistent part of his mind tried to whisper that it wasn't, and if Mikuni hadn't kept his mouth shut Mahiru would definitely know the whole story now. He shot it down. Mahiru wasn't that kind of person. At least, he really, really, really hoped he truly wasn't, and his attitude up until now hadn't just been a very good lie.  
  
"But that's not what I need to talk about," Mahiru continued, and Kuro opened his eyes again. "It's something else. I'm worried, and I really don't know what to do or who to trust." Dark, worried eyes met Kuro's own. "Will you hear me out?"  
  
Without a second's hesitation Kuro nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets and glancing off to the side. "Sure," he muttered. "It's not like I'd get around it anyway, if it's so important the great Mahiru-sama skipped class for this."  
  
Mahiru's cheeks flushed pink as he huffed and gave him a playful smack on the arm, and Kuro felt... odd. Normal. Like there was nothing wrong with him at all.  
  
"Don't get off topic," Mahiru said as he let his gaze stray into nowhere, his eyes dark and clouded with worry. "So, Mikuni-san told me about C3. How they work, what they did in the past and everything. And I believe what he says, but..." He sighed. "He also said they're still after us now. That even though they say they want to team up, they're actually just using us and still see us as enemies because some of you guys used to be in a gang." His eyes flitted back to Kuro. "You think that too, right?"  
  
Kuro didn't know what to say except, "Well... yup."  
  
"Yeah, Mikuni-san said the same. But... I don't know." Mahiru sighed again, but it came out as more of a frustrated groan this time. "He left that group years ago. And you haven't had much to do with them since the Servamps split up either. It's just, they might've changed, you know? Maybe they've gone the wrong way about this before, but they really, really seem to want to team up, and Tsurugi-san even apologized. I mean..." He made a pleading gesture. "Are they really so bad we shouldn't even give them a chance? Even if we don't like each other, we can really use some allies, and thinking simply, missing out on that would be a bit... It feels wrong to me, you know?"  
  
 _I think he's right._  That sentence lingered on Kuro's tongue, and yet he couldn't speak it out anymore. He still agreed with it. He felt it with every fiber of his being. But listening to Mahiru had made him hesitate.  
  
From his own perspective, Mahiru had a point. Someone who had never witnessed the deeds of C3 firsthand, never seen what they were capable of, never fallen victim to their two-faced manipulation was bound to think like this, bound to feel like they deserved another chance. Mahiru couldn't know. He couldn't know that, back in middle school, Kuro had thought the same. That he, too, had heard of their misdeeds and given them the benefit of the doubt. That he, too, had wanted to believe they were the good guys after all, only trying to help him, and it had been the worst mistake of his life.  
  
Should he tell Mahiru after all? Should he reveal the whole truth to him, no matter what came of it?  
  
Never. Never. Never. Mahiru would hate him. Mahiru would leave him. If he found out what he had done, he would never, ever forgive him.  
  
"But then there's something else," Mahiru continued, and now he looked more confused than ever. "Earlier I was looking for you, and I ran into Jun-san and he tried to take me to you. But then we bumped into Tsurugi-san, and he said he'd seen you behind the gym just before. I went and checked, but... I mean, you weren't there, obviously." He frowned. "And the guys there told me you hadn't been there all break. So... unless there's a pretty big mistake here, Tsurugi-san sent me to the wrong place on purpose."  
  
Kuro gulped. So that was why Mahiru hadn't found him in the break. He had been misled.  
  
"I only found you because Jun-san wanted to lead me here," Mahiru said. "He told me the right place. But... I don't understand." He stared at the grass in front of his feet. "Why would Tsurugi-san send me to the wrong place? What does he get out of me not finding you?"  
  
A chill crept down Kuro's spine. He understood. He knew exactly why Tsurugi would mislead Mahiru like this.  
  
"I think," he said slowly, "he's trying to get to me."  
  
Mahiru glanced up in surprise. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Ah, just..." Kuro played with his hair. His eyes were looking anywhere but at Mahiru's face. "I think he's trying to use you to get through to my weakness."  
  
"What weakness?"  
  
 _You._  
  
A simple word, an honest answer, shooting through Kuro's head faster than he could grasp it.  _You're my weakness,_  he thought.  _My weakest point is how much I've come to need you._  
  
Not that he would ever say that out loud. It wasn't something he was used to saying to people. He wasn't used to outright telling people he cared, or worse, telling people how important they were to him. It was like admitting a weakness he didn't like having. It meant making himself vulnerable, exposing to others how much of his happiness they held in his hands and how quickly they could crush it if they wanted to.  
  
Not that Mahiru would use that knowledge against him, Kuro knew. He wasn't that kind of person. He wouldn't hurt him on purpose. Mahiru wasn't the kind of person who ignored a responsibility, and he treated everyone and everything entrusted to him with care. But Kuro still didn't want to tell him. Not right now. He wasn't ready.  
  
So he simply said what he always said when he didn't know what to answer. Stuffing his hands even deeper into his pockets, he turned his head away and muttered, "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru didn't answer at once. Maybe he sensed the truth, or maybe he didn't know what to reply after Kuro's awkward non-answer. Kuro didn't want to know which it was. Maybe both.  
  
"I won't ask for details," Mahiru said at last, his tone neither confused nor annoyed or disappointed or anything else he could have been after Kuro's vague response. "But if they're after you, that's one more reason to do something about all this. What should we do?"  
  
Kuro gave a soft sigh. "You know my answer."  
  
"Cut them off and keep doing our own thing?"  
  
Kuro nodded.  
  
"I know." Somehow Mahiru didn't look or sound completely satisfied. "It's probably for the best. But... I don't know. Shouldn't we at least act like we're going along with this alliance thing, even if we don't trust them?" He frowned. "Otherwise we'll have to fight against two groups instead of one, right?"  
  
He had a point there, Kuro realized.  
  
They weren't that many people. And they didn't know how many Tsubaki had. It wasn't clear if they could stand their own against that one gang as things were, but they definitely wouldn't be able to face two. If they started fighting against C3, who would otherwise be their ally, on top of Tsubaki's gang, they wouldn't last a single day.  
  
Just from a strategic point of view, teaming up with C3 seemed inevitable. Unless they simply stepped down and left the fight to them entirely.  
  
He glanced at Mahiru. Yeah, no, wasn't happening. Leaving a task like this to other people after all this time was something Mahiru would never agree to, no matter how much he probably should.  
  
So that only left two options.  
  
"Well, we can team up," Kuro said, counting them on his fingers, "and hope they don't stab us in the back or use us for whatever nasty thing they're up to..." Flashbacks shot through his mind, and he pushed them down as the weight on his chest grew once more. "Or we can do our own thing and hope they don't screw us over till we do what they want. Pick your poison, or something."  
  
Mahiru cracked a lopsided smile. "If you put it that way..."  
  
Kuro shrugged. "It's true."  
  
"I believe you." Mahiru's smile faded a little, his eyes turning serious as he gazed straight ahead, deep in thought. "Well, in that case... it's probably better to stay with them, right? We can pretend and second-guess everything they tell us, and if something's shady we can think about what to do." He glanced up at Kuro. "You'll help me when I have trouble doubting people, right?"  
  
That was a no-brainer. "Sure," Kuro said without hesitation. "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru smiled, and this time it wasn't lopsided or awkward anymore, just grateful and relieved.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Then we'll do that. Work with them for now, but if they try to pull us into anything shady we're pulling the brakes. And we can watch over them, just in case." He met Kuro's eye again, questioning this time. "Do you think that's okay? Thinking simply it looks like the only good choice, but..."  
  
He still didn't want to do this.  
  
Every fiber of his being was recoiling, hissing at him to stop. C3 was not to be trusted. They had fooled him before, him and all the others, and they could all too easily do it again. He still hated them. He still feared them, and the thought of working with them again, even just on the surface, seemed so sick and wrong he could barely wrap his mind around it.  
  
And yet, for some reason, this feeling was different from before. Not as frightening, as mind-numbingly terrifying but... bearable, somehow, almost okay. No, not okay. He would never be okay with the thought of working with C3, not after everything that happened, but it didn't feel like he was acutely losing Mahiru to their grip anymore. They were in the same boat now. Mahiru knew better than to trust Tsurugi and his group too much, and he was counting on Kuro to warn him in time. And he had talked things out with Kuro. He hadn't made a decision behind his back without thinking; instead he had come to him instead of attending class and talked to him, and they had found this solution together.  
  
Mahiru wasn't choosing Tsurugi over him. At least, not for the moment. And he wasn't deciding things over his head anymore. He had been true to his word, his apologies.  
  
He still felt heavy and drained and somehow on edge, but... at least for the moment, a few of the voices in his head had shut up.  
  
"It's a good choice," he said. "Well, not good. More like the least bad choice. They all kinda suck."  
  
Mahiru laughed. "Tell me about it."  
  
"But..." Kuro threw a glance at his face, basking in that smile to try and calm down the tension still lingering in the back of his mind. "I guess it's the best choice you can make."  
  
"You're right." Mahiru relaxed against the tree trunk. "Let's hope the others will see it that way too."  
  
\---  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki had grown used to the empty seat next to Mahiru by now, but what they weren't used to was Mahiru's seat being empty.  
  
They hadn't been surprised when their friend hadn't accompanied them to lunch, excusing himself and disappearing on them instead. Kuro still hadn't returned after all, and it had been clear as day that Mahiru was worried, too worried to even think about food until Kuro was back safe and sound where he belonged. They had assumed he would join them soon and gone ahead to the cafeteria, sitting in the same place as they always did.  
  
Except Mahiru hadn't returned. He hadn't joined them at lunch, and what was even stranger was that he hadn't returned to class either. And Mahiru always came to class. Excluding that one time during sports festival preparations when they had convinced him to skip, a time that didn't fully count because they had technically still been excused, Mahiru had a perfect, spotless attendance record.  
  
So if he wasn't showing up... something had to be wrong.  
  
At first they had thought he might just be late. Bringing Kuro back might have taken longer than expected, they thought; it had happened before, albeit only in the mornings when he refused to get out of bed. Still, going by the way he had acted earlier, he might easily not want to go back, and knowing Mahiru he wouldn't give up until he managed to bring him along.  
  
But class ticked on, and there was no sign of Mahiru. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty. Still nothing.  
  
Was he okay? Had something happened to Mahiru on the way? Students had disappeared before, right? Or maybe something was wrong with Kuro. If he had been sick earlier, maybe it was something more serious? Had he needed emergency care? An ambulance?  
  
Was everyone safe and sound?  
  
"You two," the teacher addressed them both, and Ryuusei and Koyuki straightened up in their seats. "You're friends with Shirota, right? Do you know where he's disappeared to?"  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance. Neither of them knew what to say.  
  
"Well..." Koyuki began.  
  
"We know what he's probably doing," Ryuusei helped him out. "But not where he is."  
  
"And what is he doing?" At least the teacher didn't sound annoyed, they thought. Just worried. It wasn't every day that Mahiru just went and disappeared, after all.  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki hesitated again, and this time it was Koyuki who spoke, awkwardly twiddling his fingers. "It's Kuro," he said. "He wasn't feeling well this morning, and during first period he excused himself to go to the nurse's office and hasn't come back since."  
  
"So Mahiru went looking for him," Ryuusei completed.  
  
The teacher glanced from one to the other, then at the two empty seats. "And hasn't come back since, huh?"  
  
They shrugged and nodded.  
  
"I see." His face was unreadable as he turned around on his heel, walking back to the board. "I think I understand what happened now. Thanks, you two."  
  
Ryuusei and Koyuki exchanged a glance. Neither of them understood a thing. What had their teacher figured out that they hadn't? Was something wrong after all? He didn't happen to know anything they didn't, did he?  
  
What in the world was being played here, and why were they locked out of the loop?  
  
\---  
  
The bell rang, and Mahiru gave a startled jump, glancing down at his watch and paling.  
  
"Crap," he burst out, scrambling to his feet where he had been sitting on the ground next to Kuro, simply enjoying each other's presence and talking about everything except the reason why he had disappeared earlier. "Have we seriously been here for a whole period?"  
  
Kuro shrugged. "Looks like it."  
  
"Crap, we skipped a whole class!" Stumbling, Mahiru started to sprint towards the school building before finding that Kuro didn't follow and skidding to a halt, turning back around on his heel. "Kuro, what's wrong? Hurry, we need to go back to class!"  
  
" _You_  gotta." Kuro shrugged again, but this time his eyes were shadowed. "I don't."  
  
Mahiru stared at him in disbelief. Was he serious...?  
  
"What are you talking about?" he shouted, running right back to him and grabbing his wrist, but he didn't budge. "You need to go to class too, right? Or..." A thought crossed his mind, and worry shot through him. "Don't feel ready again yet? After what happened this morning? We can get you to the nurse's or back to the dorm and–"  
  
"No."  
  
Mahiru frowned. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Kuro looked a little worse again, the shadow that had hung over him since yesterday darkening once more. "Then what?" he asked, tightening his grip. "Are you just planning to stay here till the school day's over?"  
  
Kuro made a noncommittal gesture. "It's not so bad."  
  
"You can't stay here all alone forever."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
" _Kuro!_ " Desperation bubbled up in Mahiru's chest, mixing with frustration. "Come on, I can't leave you here like this! You understand that, right?" Kuro didn't answer, and suddenly Mahiru's throat felt tight. "If you don't feel ready to go to class you should at least stay somewhere else and not here under a tree in the stupid school yard, okay? I can tell the teachers you're sick and went home. It's no big deal, so what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm not sick."  
  
"Yes, you are!" Letting go of Kuro's wrist, Mahiru grabbed his face and squeezed it between his hands, forcing Kuro to look at him. "You're tired. You're out of it. You seem really down, and you get stressed out by really small things. You don't even have the energy to go to class for a couple more hours! And yet you try! Why do you try?" He gave a frustrated sigh, but the lump in his throat wouldn't disappear. "The you I know would jump at the chance to stay in bed and play video games! Something's wrong, stop acting like it isn't!"  
  
Kuro didn't say anything for a long, long moment. His eyes were fixed on Mahiru, horror-struck and wide, then he dropped his gaze and pulled himself free from his grip so abruptly that Mahiru stumbled back, turning away to face the tree.  
  
"You're wrong," he said, but his voice wasn't convincing. "I'm fine. Just a little down for no reason. I'm gonna pull myself together again, don't worry."  
  
Mahiru hesitated. Part of him wanted to yell at him again, but he didn't. Kuro's reaction was making him feel like he had made a big enough mistake already.  
  
"Even if you're down for no reason," he ventured at last, "if it's this bad–"  
  
" _Stop it._ "  
  
Mahiru flinched back. Something about Kuro's tone sent a chill creeping over his skin, making every single one of his instincts scream that something was wrong, abnormally, terribly wrong.  
  
"It's not bad," Kuro said, but his voice rang hollow, soulless, as if he was repeating a line he had learned by heart and practiced so many times he couldn't say it with feeling anymore. "I don't need special treatment. I'm not messed up in the head."  
  
Horror shot through Mahiru, horror and anger. "Nobody ever said you were–"  
  
"I'm not sick," Kuro whispered, and this time his voice was frantic, a desperate call for help and validation. "I'm not screwed up. I'm not like those people... there's nothing wrong with my head. I'm normal." He took a shaky breath. "Don't treat me like I'm screwed up. Please...  _please_..."  
  
 _There's so obviously something wrong with you,_  Mahiru thought.  _Everything's wrong. But there's no shame in that, Kuro. Why are you protesting so hard?_  
  
"I'm not treating you like you're... screwed up," he said out loud, carefully picking each one of his words, fearing that each and every one might be a landmine that would only make this situation worse. "Friends just look after friends when they're not doing well. It's normal, you know? Thinking simply, you'd do the same for me."  
  
"Because..." Kuro trailed off, muttering something Mahiru didn't catch.  
  
"...Huh?"  
  
"'Cause you're different." Somehow he sounded like this wasn't what he had muttered right now, but Mahiru didn't want to pressure him and ask. "You don't gotta do this. Not like I'm staying here 'cause I don't feel good, anyway."  
  
Mahiru felt like he was trying to change the subject, but he didn't press the issue. Not right now, when Kuro seemed so unstable in the first place. "Then why don't you wanna go back to class?" he asked. "Don't feel like it?"  
  
"Class is a pain." Suddenly Kuro sounded a little more like his usual self again, but his voice was still strained. "Everyone's gonna ask me where I've been all day and I don't wanna explain. Can't deal."  
  
He sounded so much like himself that if their conversation before hadn't happened, Mahiru would have laughed out loud.  
  
" _That_  is your problem?" he asked instead, feeling a small weight fall of his chest. "You're worried about the questions?"  
  
Kuro turned around, his face lacking the mischief Mahiru had hoped to see, but at least it wasn't as strained as it had been before. "Yup," he said. "Nosy questions are a pain."  
  
Mahiru couldn't help it; this time he really did laugh. "Oh, come on," he said. "I can always answer for you, you know? You don't have to explain!"  
  
Kuro frowned. From the look on his face it seemed like he was genuinely pondering the suggestion.  
  
"But what are you gonna say?" he asked at last. "You gotta tell them something."  
  
"Oh... uh... the truth... is not an option, right?" Mahiru hurried to say as the look on Kuro's face darkened. "Then, uh... Oh yeah! Maybe you haven't been sleeping well the past nights, because, uh, because... I-I'll think of something!" He didn't need a mirror to know he was going red with embarrassment. "I'll find an excuse, all right?"  
  
Kuro sighed, but for the first time today there was a genuine twinkle in his eyes. "Can't deal."  
  
Mahiru smiled. "So you're coming?"  
  
"...I guess."  
  
Mahiru beamed.  
  
"Hey, don't smile so brightly," Kuro muttered, stepping away from the tree and averting his eyes. "I'm gonna go blind... No need to blind your poor classmate just 'cause he's going back to class. Can't deal."  
  
"Sorry, sorry." Mahiru laughed, barely resisting the urge to tackle Kuro and hug him right there on the spot. "I'm just happy, you know? You've been out of it all day and now you're finally back to normal, so I'm glad!"  
  
For a second he wondered if he shouldn't have said that, but something cut him short. Coming over from the school building was the sound of the bell signaling the beginning of the next period.  
  
"Oh crap!" Mahiru gave a jolt, scratching everything and starting to run. "We're running late again! Quick, Kuro, let's hurry!"  
  
He didn't try to pull Kuro this time. He simply ran towards the building. And after a short moment of hesitation, a second that felt like a lifetime, Kuro gave a sigh and followed behind.  
  
\---  
  
They stumbled into the classroom mere seconds after the teacher had entered.  
  
Mahiru skidded to a halt, narrowly avoiding a collision with the nearest desk as he stopped and stumbled towards his seat, catching his breath. Kuro followed in his footsteps. His knees felt wobbly for a reason that had nothing to do with running. His heart was pounding in his ears. He could feel the stares resting on him, dozens and dozens of eyes, staring at him as if he was an inhuman creature who had just entered through the door.  
  
Part of him regretted coming here already. Part of him wanted to turn on his heel and run back outside. Then he looked at Mahiru and swallowed. He couldn't do that. His best friend had gone through the trouble of bringing him back, he had skipped a class just to look for him, and even before that he had skipped lunch all for his sake. He already didn't deserve that. How much more unworthy of these troubles, this unfairly kind human being would he be if he ran out and made it all be for nothing?  
  
So he set his jaw, ignoring the creeping tension all throughout his body, the slinking, shadowing, lingering feeling that something was about to go horribly  _wrong_. Trying not to look at anyone but Mahiru, he walked to his seat, sitting down and taking out his textbook and notes as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Where did you two come from?" the teacher asked in surprise.  
  
Mahiru glanced at Kuro, then back at the teacher. "Kuro left for the nurse's office earlier because he wasn't doing well," he said hesitantly, his eyes flitting back over to Kuro as if searching for affirmation that he wasn't saying too much. "He wasn't coming back, so I went looking for him."  
  
The teacher raised an eyebrow. "For a full period?"  
  
Mahiru blinked, looking caught. "Y-You knew?"  
  
"Of course I knew." She raised an eyebrow. "I already heard everything. And now I'd like to know, what have you two  _really_  been doing?"  
  
Mahiru straightened up in surprise. Kuro didn't move. Something cold and hostile fell down through his chest and settled in his gut, panic and dread knotting into his insides and gnawing at him from within.  
  
"Really?" Mahiru repeated, looking happily oblivious to the true meaning of the situation, a blissful cluelessness Kuro would give his life to share. "Exactly what I just said... I needed to make sure Kuro was okay and convince him to come back, so it took a little longer." He bowed his head. "I'm sorry for that."  
  
 _She'll never believe it._  The thought buzzed and pounded through Kuro's head like a glitch, deleting all other thoughts from his mind.  _She'll never believe it. She'll never, ever believe it._  
  
His chest was tight... his breath was flat. Was he shaking?  
  
The teacher narrowed her eyes, staring at Mahiru, then at Kuro. Kuro tightened every muscle in his body, trying to look calm. If he started panicking now, she would only see that as an affirmation. That was the last thing they'd need. He could already read every one of her thoughts from her face, and the worst part was that he couldn't even blame her.  
  
Anyone would think the same thing. Even Kuro himself wouldn't think any differently in her stead. As a teacher, what reason did she have to believe Mahiru's words? They weren't believable. Especially not to someone who had never known Kuro as anything but a delinquent and neverending source of trouble every time he appeared at school.  
  
Why should she buy his words? Why should she believe that anyone would care about someone like Kuro so much that they went this far? Why should anyone believe that Mahiru had done this out of loyalty and worry when all Kuro had ever been was a monster, fearsome and unlikable even to the ones he considered his friends?  
  
He should say something. Anything to cover for Mahiru, to help him. He didn't know what. But he needed to. Something... anything. What would sound believable? He felt like he should know. And yet he hadn't managed to sound believable since yesterday.  
  
His mind was blank. He couldn't come up with anything. He couldn't help. He had pulled Mahiru into this, and now he couldn't help him.  
  
 _Please don't get him in trouble because of me. Please don't get him in trouble. Please don't get him in trouble. This isn't his fault. It's all mine._  
  
"Well, Shirota-kun, I suppose I'll have to write you down for skipping."  
  
Kuro opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Nothing. His tongue was lead. His mind was empty except for one single sentence, repeating itself over and over and over again until he couldn't tell if what he heard was an echo or a repetition of the same words.  
  
 _This is wrong. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong._  
  
"Okay," Mahiru said, perfectly upright and perfectly calm, as if he hadn't just gotten in trouble for the first time in his academic career. "That's fair. It was worth it."  
  
 _This is wrong!_  the sentence repeated in Kuro's head.  _This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong!_  
  
And suddenly, in the middle of all the echoes...  
  
 _This is all my fault._  
  
It was all because of Kuro. If Kuro hadn't left the classroom, Mahiru would never have gone looking for him. If Kuro had returned in time, he would never have had to spend all of lunch break searching for him. If Kuro hadn't disappeared and hidden himself, if he had simply made his way back during or after lunch break, Mahiru would never have skipped class and spent the whole period with him instead. If Kuro had told him more about C3 in the first place, if he hadn't simply withdrawn and acted all secretive and made Mahiru hear about it from Mikuni and talk things out with him for such a long time, at such an unfitting moment... if Kuro had acted any different... no... if he hadn't been there...  
  
If Kuro had simply managed to get it together in time, Mahiru would never have ended up in trouble.  
  
His shaking intensified. It was hard to breathe. The urge to jump up and run from the classroom again was getting almost insurmountable. His fault. It was his fault. He already owed Mahiru so much, and all he ever did for him was cause him more and more trouble.  
  
 _Why am I still here? Mahiru... why are you okay with this?_  
  
"Okay with it?" the teacher repeated in disbelief, as if she, too, was shocked and appalled at this injustice. "Shirota Mahiru, do you realize what you're saying?"  
  
Kuro shook his head so slightly it was barely noticeable.  _Say no,_  he wanted to tell him.  _It's not okay. You don't have to pretend it is._  
  
But Mahiru only smiled. "I do," he said. "I feel like I've done the right thing, Sensei. Getting in trouble for skipping is a small price to pay for that."  
  
The teacher stared at him. Then she sighed, and her face grew clouded with genuine fear and concern.  
  
"In all honesty," she said, "Shirota-kun, you should probably reconsider who you spend your time with. You don't want to ruin your future being influenced by a..." She threw a fearful glance at Kuro. "A  _delinquent_ , do you?"  
  
\---  
  
"Just about now," Tsurugi muttered, glancing at the clock. "Around this time... the trap should probably snap close." He smiled. "Are you really sure you can handle a friend of this caliber, Shirota Mahiru-kun?"


End file.
